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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Emotional Currency Do You Accept?

“Emotional currency is the exchange we engage in when seeking self-satisfaction.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I was just promoted and received the title of ‘Junior Assistant’ in the PR department. I don’t care if others in the department with my skill set are making $13k more than me. I’m a ‘Junior Assistant’!”

Those were the words of a very jubilant individual that was more satisfied with a title than money. His fulfillment came from the emotional currency he’d received that made him feel complete.

What emotional currency do you accept when seeking to placate your needs and wants? The more you’re aware of how and when emotional currency moves you, the greater the chance you’ll have to control the degree of your acceptance of it.

Emotional currency can come in many forms. It can be in the form of a raise; you have more money and thus, you feel better about yourself due to your new financial status. It can stem from acceptance of you by a group or others; you feel wanted. It’s also born from the elevation of your mental wellbeing as the result of how you see yourself. It can also be a manipulator used against you.

So, why should you be aware of the emotional currency you accept and when you accept it? The answer lies in what you’ll do to obtain it based on the circumstances you’re in. A moment ago, I stated that emotional currency can be a tool of manipulation. That means, when you’re emotionally depressed, you’re more likely to leap at the opportunity to enhance your emotional state of mind; a high state of emotional satisfaction is something that everyone seeks. All of us should know our limits so that we don’t merge into a limitless desire to obtain what we need. Plus, the more attuned you are to your emotional needs, the better you’ll be at making decisions that are beneficial to your long-term wellbeing.

You’ve more than likely heard the statement, ‘get a grip’. That means you should control your desires. Once you raise your awareness about the emotional currency you deal in, and the sources from which it’s refilled, you’ll be more mindful of determining the sources you’ll allow to replenish your needs … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, value is perceptional. That perception is based on where you are in the moment of the negotiation. If someone attempts to assuage your feelings by telling you how great a negotiator you are, depending on your emotional state of mind, that compliment may be all it takes to take you for all you have.

Be keenly alert when someone begins to heap praise upon you during a negotiation, especially if it seems to appear out of nowhere. More than likely it’s a ploy to enhance your emotional currency. The real thought may belie the exact opposite of the compliment that’s used to mollify you. To keep from being ‘played like a chump’, accept compliments given to you, but don’t let them deter you from your goals of achieving what you want. Be steadfast in your quest and see what becomes of the compliments. Therein will lie the uncovering of their real intent.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Emotion #Currency #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Fight The Negativity Of Cyberbullying

“Cyberbully – A person that seeks power by hiding behind the cloak of anonymity due to his cowardness to confront others head-on. Or, someone too weak in personality that it causes him to seek pleasure by denigrating others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He constantly picked on me by posting untruthful things that he said I engaged in. Then, he made unflattering comments about my mother. I found that of particular distaste.”

You may have thought the words above stemmed from two friends in their teens. The statement did come from two friends, but they were CEOs of major corporations. They were discussing the cyberbullying effects targeted against one of the CEOs in cyberspace.

Anyone can come under attack in cyberspace. The reasons for such don’t have to be valid. Do you know how to fight the negativity of cyberbullying? Continue reading this article to gather a few tips that you can use to combat a cyberbully.

Prevention:

Keep your guard up.

Be on the alert for those that might attack you. Some will do so because of the assets they perceive you to have. They may also do so because of the industry your business is in, your ethnicity and/or gender. Some people may just be mentally challenged, which causes them to seek out a target to bully.

None of this is to say that you should become paranoid. It simply means that you should be alert about how and why someone might attack you in cyberspace.

Turn yourself into a small target.

Know that some people engage in cyberbullying for pleasure. Others may do so as the prelude to extortion; extortion can be in the form of gaining leverage to achieve a goal, especially when negotiating.

To thwart a bully’s efforts, turn yourself into a small target. Don’t flaunt your assets in the manner that would attract and invite a possible attack. If you become a victim, keep a prepared set of documents that show you may not have what the bully wants. To do this, you must know what his ultimate goal is. You don’t want him to turn your perceived lack of assets against you and use that to enhance his position. Remember, it’s harder to hit a small target, but you must know what to morph that target into before it can be effective.

Fighting back:

Why me?

Bullies tend to target those persons or entities that they sense as being vulnerable. So, project strength when responding to the bully. You can do this by having others come to your defense and responding on your behalf. You can also respond by hitting the bully where he’s most vulnerable; it’s obvious that you’ll have to know his vulnerabilities to do this, which may require research.

I used the above strategy in an online forum in which someone attempted to bully others in the group. I asked the group if anyone knew that the bully had done the same thing in other groups. Someone said they did and that individual took the bully head-on. The bully retreated and was never heard from again. As an aside, I and the cohort that I used to fight the bully had already discussed this tactic before my ally engaged him. The bully had perpetrated the same tactics in a different forum that my ally and I were in.

Depending on the severity of the cyberbullying, you can get law officials involved, private detectives, etc. Regardless of the countermeasures you engage in, use them strongly enough to arrest the bully’s activities. Crush his will to engage you further so he dares not return to his former activities against you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fight #Negativity #cyber, cyberbullying #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Anchoring #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Lie To Me, Please

“Alternative facts are aversions to the truth, to the degree that the truth remains concealed.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Okay. If you say that wasn’t you, I’ll believe you. Just know, the person I saw from 15 feet away looked just like you. Even more, when I called your name, the person that wasn’t you turned around, saw me, and hurriedly left the area. As that person scurried away, they walked like you, too.”

Do you know why some people will allow others to lie to them, accept the lie, and be okay doing so? The answer lies in one’s current circumstances and the environment they’re in.

1. Some people will subjugate themselves because of their circumstances (e.g. the liar is the one that pays the bills, earns the money in the relationship, is dominant in the relationship, etc.)

2. They do so for the better good of others that are involved.

3. In other cases, the target of the lie wants to be perceived as fitting into the norms of the group they belong to; to do otherwise might mean expulsion from the group.

4. In yet other situations, it’s easier for some people to accept an altered reality because the truth would hurt too badly (e.g. I can’t believe they’d do that to me. It must not be true.)

5. Some people may go along for a while to see what a liar will do next.

Here’s the point. We’re all driven by our emotions. Thus, our emotions will lend insight into what we’re willing to believe and accept. It’s not until that belief is too heavy a burden to bear that we change our beliefs about others and ourselves. That’s when we’ll take our life in a new direction.

Always be aware of why someone possesses certain beliefs. Having that insight will allow you to understand the person’s source of motivation and thinking. That will also allow you to better assist that individual in determining what reality really is. You’ll be able to use that to benefit yourself and them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, there will be times when you sense that the other negotiator is lying. You may gather such sensations from the manner that the opposing negotiator conveys certain sentiments via their body language (e.g. leaning away when defining a statement as the truth, altering the pitch of their voice while constantly looking away from you when doing so, fidgeting with other items in their proximity).

In such situations, it may behoove you to allow the liar to continue his lies to understand the characteristics of the person you’re dealing with. You may also do so if he’s telling little white lies so as not to embarrass him. Then, when that position no longer serves you, consider confronting him to validate his perception of the truth versus what he professes it to be.

Always remember, people will only do to you what you allow them to do. That means you have a degree of control in every environment you’re in. When it comes to dealing with those that lie incessantly, recognize them for who and what they are and deal with them appropriately.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Use Anchoring Better in Your Negotiations

“Anchoring is a way to keep a negotiation within boundaries, but it can also be a way to weigh it down.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“We can pay your bill if you’re reasonable about the settlement. That means, we’re willing to start the discussion at $300,000, not the $650,000 that you indicated. Anything else is a none starter. Do you wish to start the discussion?” Those were the words of one negotiator to another. He was using a technique known as anchoring to advantage his position. How would you respond?

The following information will give you insights as to how you can use and defend the technique of anchoring in your negotiations.

What is anchoring?

Anchoring is a strategy that you can use to set boundaries in a negotiation. If you and the other negotiator agree to those boundaries, you have the confinements in which the negotiation will occur.

Be mindful, depending upon the depth of the negotiation, those outposts can be violated and lead the negotiation to unsavory places. Thus, be cognizant of the signals that indicate that the other negotiator might be in the process of abating those boundaries. At the first sign of such actions, note the cause that promoted the change in behavior. That will give you the clue about what to address if you wish to bring the negotiation back in bounds.

Why use anchoring?

As stated, anchoring is a way to set parameters around the negotiation. Therefore, if abided by, the agreement should allow for an easier flowing negotiation.

Boundaries in a negotiation can be a curse or a blessing. That’s the inherent dilemma in using this strategy. If you’re negotiating with a weaker negotiator, you can skillfully use anchoring to limit his abilities, while leaving your options open to explore the upper realms of possibilities. If you’re the weaker negotiator (i.e. fewer resources, little leverage, etc.), you risk being susceptible to an unfavorable negotiation outcome.

Factors to consider when using anchoring tactics.

  1. Negotiation (resources, personalities)

As mentioned above, you should consider the resources that you and the other negotiator have at your availability. The more resources that a negotiator has, the more leverage he can bring to bear on the negotiation. That doesn’t mean if you have fewer resources that you’ll automatically fall into the weaker category. It means, if you’re the weaker negotiator, you should attempt to limit the leverage of the other negotiator so he’ll not be able to employ those resources against you.

In addition, consider the other negotiator’s personality. Some negotiators don’t like to take advantage of others. And other negotiators will stomp on you while you’re down to keep you from getting up. The better you know the personality type that you’re negotiating with, the better you’ll be able to predict what he might do.

  1. Leverage points to consider (i.e. urgency, unseen negotiators, etc.)

If you have a grasp into the urgency, deadlines, and timeframes that the other negotiator needs to conclude the negotiation, you’ll have insights into how you can use anchoring to lead him down the negotiation path. For example, if you know that he must conclude your negotiation before another phase starts with those that are not part of your negotiation, you can anchor his deadline to a timeframe. Then, if he doesn’t make concessions that you request, you can slow the negotiation down.

Anchoring can be an extremely powerful strategy to use in your negotiation. Most negotiations contain some form of anchoring embedded in them with them identified as such. If you’re more aware of anchoring in your negotiations, you’ll be less likely to get sunk by them … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Anchoring #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You There Yet?

“Perception is driven by attitude and attitude is driven by desire. To be more successful in life, you must allow your attitude and desire to be driven by actions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Don’t blame me for your mediocrity when you’re not willing to take the actions required for greater success.” That was the retort exchanged between two individuals that shared a relationship.

To advance in life, one must be willing to take the actions required to move from one position to another. It’s okay to dream, but until you put your dreams into actions, they’re nothing more than images in your mind; they’ll never become your reality. Worse, if not acted on, they could turn into nightmares.

When seeking greater achievements, you must be mentally prepared to enact the actions necessary for those achievements. One achievement becomes a steppingstone to higher achievements. Thus, you should never view yourself as reaching a final-destination, because if you have life, you should seek to achieve more in life. By doing so, you leave a doorway through which knowledge and future opportunities may enter.

Understand that a hopeless mind doesn’t serve you. It’ll leave you in a state of hopeless situations. You’ll be drained by your mental energy leakage, which otherwise could serve as fuel to lift you higher.

You create your own success in life. Where you are today is not where you were yesterday. Where you’ll be tomorrow is the design that you engage in today. That means you’re the person in control of your life. So, if you don’t like yourself or where you are, change it! You have the power, you have the control. Exercise that power and control to take yourself to a better place.

Here’s the point, even if you’re in a very happy and successful place in life, life will change. That means, what exists today will not exist tomorrow. Thus, you must constantly change with life. Once you do, you’ll become part of the evolution of life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

The outcome of many negotiations is somewhat of a foregone conclusion before they start. That’s due to the mindset the negotiators possess as they prepare and enter the negotiations.

If you constantly seek to advance a negotiation, based on the determination you display to achieve your quest (this would occur in the planning and implementation stages of the negotiation), you’ll be empowered with more confidence. The other negotiator will perceive your confidence and address you in a more serious manner.

Never shortchange yourself in a negotiation by thinking that the other party has more resources from which to out-negotiate you. That may be true but remember, David slayed Goliath. He did so by adopting a strategy that gave him an advantage; that began with David’s mental attitude and adopting a strategy to achieve his goals. It’s the strategies that you employ in a negotiation that will give you an advantage too. The first strategy starts with the way you think. Don’t limit yourself by possessing limiting thoughts.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

When Should You Act More Like A Stubborn Child

“Childlike behavior can be advantageous to adults when adults use them in an adult-like manner.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He was told that he should not act like a stubborn child. Then he became more obstinate.” Those were the words exchanged by associates as they discussed the behavior of a friend of theirs.

When they were children, most adults possessed a limitless amount of imagination and a boundless degree of determination. As they became older, more mature, their childlike actions were abandoned so that they could be perceived as fitting into their environments. Unknowingly, conformity to those environment norms may have cost them opportunities.

Do you recall your childhood? When you sought a specific outcome, how determined were you to achieve it? How many ‘adult rules’ did you break in your efforts to uncover the solution to your quest? Then, you got older and supposedly wiser, which meant, you left those childish ways behind. Truth be known, those childish ways served you well then and they can serve you well, now.

When you find yourself in situations that you really want to get to the bottom of why certain actions occurred, or if you want to enhance the probability of a particular outcome, be persistent in uncovering a solution.

The point is, you will only receive in life what your actions indicate you’re willing to put forth to achieve. If something is denied you and you don’t put up a fight to get it, you send the signal to the holder of that source that what you sought wasn’t really that important to you. Either way, you’ve set the stage for future interactions and degree that you’ll fight for what you want. Thus, if you give up easily when requesting something, the person to whom you make that request knows that he only has to say no a few times and you’ll slither back into your den of mediocrity. Your hopes for future opportunities will lackluster and you’ll have no one to blame except yourself.

When it comes to achieving more in life, when appropriate, consider acting like you did when you were a child. Ask why, how come, who else, type of questions. You’ll be rewarded with greater outcomes in life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Some negotiators use stonewalling tactics to keep you from reaching your goals. They may do so to enhance their negotiation position. If you use probing questions (e.g. why can’t that be done, who else might be able to approve this, what do you suggest we do to avoid this impasse), you’ll receive greater outcomes from your negotiation efforts. That’s true because you’ll acquire more insight into what’s really behind the other negotiator’s efforts to disallow your request. Once you know that, you’ll be better positioned to hone in on the discovery of what he’d rather keep hidden. Your probing with questions, like you did when you were a child, will reveal those hidden opportunities and bring them to light.

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

In Negotiations Be On the Alert For Setup Questions

“Setup questions can be to a person what a snake charmer is to a snake, mesmerizing. Watch the person that uses setup questions to mesmerize you!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I can’t believe he asked me when I stopped beating my wife. I’ve never beaten my wife; I love her too much to do that! Those were the dejected words spoken by a man that was in the throes of a messy divorce proceeding to the question posed by the lawyer of his soon to be ex-wife.

Are you aware of how and why setup questions are designed to motivate you to a particular thought or action? In negotiations, you should be on the alert for setup questions.

A setup question (e.g. Most people would be horrified if that happened to them, right?) is used to position someone’s response as measured against what is viewed as being normal by others; it can also be used to alter the thought process of an individual.

The challenge to the responder is, if he answers contrary to the norm, he appears to be outside of that norm. That makes him appear to be abnormal. That’s a position that most people attempt to avoid, especially when such is exposed to others. The perception of abnormality can position someone as, he’s not like the rest of us, which can place that person in a squeamish position. It’s another way to apply a sense of unseen but felt leverage upon him.

When this tactic is used to alter someone’s thought process, it can be even more devastating, due to the attack on that person’s mental psyche. Thus, it can also be used to take someone off the offense and put them on the defense.

This tactic becomes more burdensome to the recipient of this ploy when used by someone that’s an aggressive or bully type of negotiator. The reason being, when confronted by an aggressive negotiator, more than likely, you’re already experiencing a heightened sense of anxiety. That may be in the form of just being more aware of your negotiation environment. The point is, you’re not relaxed, you’re on edge. That will prohibit your normal thought process from occurring which could lead to making errant decisions.

To recount, in all of your negotiations, be aware that setup questions may be posed at different times and for multiple purposes. They can be used:

For the purpose of altering your mental state. Once your mental state is altered, you may be more susceptible to falling into a defense that simply keeps you off the offense.

For positioning purposes, a setup question may be used to have you viewed in an unflattering manner, so as to marginalize the perception that others have of you and to disallow them from having empathy to your point or position.

To alter one’s mind, such questions may also be used in an attempt to make you forget, defuse, or confuse the point you were attempting to make.

The more alert you are to the possibility of setup questions being used in your negotiations, and how they might be used, the better prepared you’ll be at defending yourself against them. Doing so will give you an advantage in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Questions #Setup #control #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Power Source Is Being Used to Scare You?

“The only time you should be afraid of power is when you give it to someone you don’t trust.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“They don’t care that I’ve lost my job. All they want is their money!” Those were the heavy words of a tear-faced man recounting his unenviable position to someone from whom he was seeking a loan.

Are you being scared by someone? Do you recognize their source of power as positional or situational? The way you confront someone should be based on their power source and how they’re using it.

Those possessing positional power, as an example your boss, will only be able to maintain that power while you’re in their domain. The boss may use as a scare tactic the threat of termination if you don’t achieve his goals, which will threaten your well-being and sense of security.

With situational power, the holder only has sway as long as the situation that gave him his power exists. Once the situation has abated so too does his power. Thus, an automobile mechanic only has power over you until your vehicle is repaired. It’s during that tenure that he has the opportunity to scare you. That might be in the form of telling you something dire has occurred with your vehicle that will require ‘x’ amount of money to repair. The more dependent you are on him repairing the vehicle, the more power you give him to scare you in the interim.

While positional power can possess some of the same characteristics as situational power, situational power will tend not to last as long as positional power.

Positional Power

When efforts are made to scare you through positional power, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That means, don’t be an easy target. Position yourself as someone that’s savvy and someone that will extract a toll if someone picks on you.

Situational Power

We’ve all been caught in a moment of despair. The way you present yourself at that moment will be the factor that signals how others should deal with you. Thus, with the mechanic, it would not behoove you to discuss the important meeting you have in a few days for which you’ll need your vehicle. If you give him such insights, you’re only placing yourself in a more vulnerable position.

Keep in mind that sometimes people will use scare tactics to manipulate you. Their degree of success will lie in how you present yourself and how you rebuff their efforts. The better prepared you are to recognize their source of power, the better you’ll be prepared to combat their power source … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Negotiations are all about power. It’s the perception of power that determines how one acts in a negotiation. Therefore, negotiators use different techniques to shape the perception of their power depending on the circumstances (e.g. scarcity/abundance, loss/gain, fear/safety, etc.)

If you become adept at identifying power sources, how it’s used, and how long it might last, you can position yourself to thwart it at your chosen point in a negotiation. You will be the one in the power position, using the trapdoor of hidden knowledge to scare others.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#powersource #YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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Who’s Shaping Your Perspective?

“Your thought process is shaped by the filter through which you view life. To better understand it, understand who controls the lens through which your thought process is filtered.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really know what shapes your opinions and perspectives?

Most people don’t like to be told how to think. They want to maintain their independence and being told what to think infringes upon that. Nevertheless, most people don’t realize that they’re being primed to think a particular way, based on who and what they allow to become part of their thinking process.

No one has to tell you how to think in order to influence your thought process. Instead, all they have to do is tell you what to think about. Once you accept their premises, they’ve begun to steer your thought process towards one direction versus another. That’s the reason why you should be mindful of where your information comes from. Those sources have their own bent on what reality is. As they pass their perspectives to you, they’re also passing on the perspectives of how you should think about a situation.

In order to be more open-minded in your thought process, be more open-minded about the sources from which you gather information. You’ll be able to have an open mind by listening to the perspectives of others from a pro and con point of view. Once you do that, you’ll be better informed and able to understand any point of view from a more concise outlook.

People will always attempt to sway your thoughts to those that appeal to theirs. There’s nothing unnatural about that. It’s a form of validation per the way they think.

The point is, always maintain an open mind by being willing to listen to opinions that might differ from yours. The value of doing so will come in the form of your mind becoming more expanded. That will allow you to expand your thought processes even more, which in turn will allow you to understand the perspective of others better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, you must keep an open mind about how you’re thinking. In order to negotiate more effectively, you need to understand the thought process of the other negotiator too, and how she came to have that mindset; you can influence her mindset by what you suggest she think about. Once you have the insight by which she thinks, you’ll have a better understanding of why she adopts the stances she takes and why she makes the offers that she extends. The added benefit will be in being able to understand her better. At a minimum, that should allow you to have more empathy for her and her position. If you can get her to reciprocate, both of you will be able to engage in the negotiation from a more civil and open process. A silent benefit of that will be a less stressful negotiation, and when it comes to a negotiation, the more stress you can remove from it, the easier the negotiation becomes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

 

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7 Characteristics of a Bully and Why You Should Care

“In order to deal with a bully, you must know what one looks like.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He will lie to your face, and not give a damn if you know he’s lying!” Those were the exasperated words of one member on the same negotiation team to another.

Do you know anyone that possesses the following 7 characteristics? If so, they just might be a bully.

When involved in #negotiations with someone that’s overly aggressive or someone that’s an outright bully, you should take note of the following characteristics to identify who he is.

1. Bullies tend to be egocentric. They have to be the center of attention in order to satisfy their need to appear superior to others. Thus, they will belittle, demean, and put others down to maintain the appearance of their superiority.

2. Observe a bully’s associates. Bullies tend to bring like-minded people that are weaker and like himself into his fold; he uses the former as foils in the plots he perpetrates against others. The caveat being, the bully needs to be the leader and will only allow those in his immediate sphere that will subjugate themselves to him. Therefore, be mindful of the fact that unknowingly you’re also negotiating with his minions when you’re negotiating with him.

3. Bullies alter facts to make them fit the situation. Doing so is his attempt to psychologically arrest the logical thought process of others, in an attempt to bend their outlook to his will and perspective. When negotiating with him, be selective about the points you choose to address and be mindful of the retorts you offer to refute him. Facts may be viewed as demonic objects that cause you to lose sway with him.

4. Loyalty between a bully and his associates is good as long as there are no threats in his camp. Once threats occur, loyalty loses its two-way appeal; the appeal is revealed as nothing more then a tool he employs to trick others into following him. He will throw supporters under the bus and find blame with them to account for his short-comings!

5. A bully seeks constant praise from others because that feeds his ego and his need for self-aggrandizement. It serves as validation that he’s superior to others. Therefore, seek ways to praise a bully in a negotiation. That will endear you to him. Just make sure not to fall into his attempts to pull you closer to his views than is necessary.

6. Bullies lie incessantly because their view has to be the predominant one. Thus, they attempt to alter the outlook of others to make others conform to their perspective. This action of the bully is very dangerous because one never really knows what to believe when a bully speaks.

7. The only way a bully can rise to his perch is to do so by keeping others under the spell that he casts. Once he loses any appeal that makes others bow to him, he can become more aggressive in his attempts to reacquire the power he’s lost. That’s when he’s most dangerous. During such times, he may engage in activities that are very far outside the realm of rationality.

Dealing with bullies is always a dicey proposition. Being oblivious to his characteristics can lead to a stressful negotiation, one in which you may lose before you realize what has occurred. If you use the 7 traits above to identify with whom you’re dealing, you’ll have an idea of what you’re up against. From there, you can be on guard as to how you engage him in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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