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Skills Women In Business

Formidable Woman’s Mag

I cannot thank Formidable Woman Magazine enough for allowing me to not only speak about my new series: Conscious Parenting. Is Parenting the New Generation Hard? BUT for also honoring me with the cover of their issue! I am so grateful for this opportunity and platform to reach parents and care givers in need of a new perspective.

If you are interested in getting involved in being part of a solution for uplifting all families, I would love to speak with you! Any brand who wants to be aligned with this message will be our partners. I’d love to help you reach more homes while you help the Conscious Parenting Revolution reach even more families longing for a change.

To find out more about this incredible investment opportunity, read my full article here

For our deck and TV sponsorship opportunities contact Calvin at media@katherinesellery.com.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Advice Best Practices Women In Business

Secure Your Future: The Power of Emergency Savings and How It Can Change Your Life

Are you ready to take control of your finances and secure your future? It all starts with building an emergency fund. Miller’s book, “Ready for Pretirement: Plan Retirement Early,” is an exciting and inspiring guide that teaches you to be proactive and plan for the uncertainties of life.

In today’s world, emergencies can happen at any time, and having an emergency fund can provide you with the confidence and security you need to face these challenges head-on. Whether it’s a family medical crisis or unexpected job loss, having a cash reserve can prevent you from making imprudent decisions and help you weather the storm.

The current times have given rise to a predominant sandwich generation, where individuals need to care for their elderly parents while taking care of their young kids. This makes emergency cash more critical than ever before. Miller’s book provides actionable steps to create a fund that can cover living expenses for up to 5-6 months, ensuring that you have the financial stability to face any adversity that comes your way.

Cash flows can be volatile, and there will be months when you earn considerably less or have unexpected expenses. An emergency fund sees you through these rough periods in your life and ensures that you don’t fall behind on bills or incur debt.

The best part about building an emergency fund is that it’s never too late to start. Miller’s book provides practical tips and guidance to help you get started and stay on track. You’ll learn how to make saving a habit and create a plan that works for you.

So, what are you waiting for? Take control of your finances and secure your future by creating an emergency fund today. Miller’s book is a must-read for anyone looking to build a strong financial foundation and achieve financial security. Don’t wait any longer to start your journey towards a financially fit life!

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast  “Money 911

Subscribe to my Youtube channel youtube.com/@healthymoneyhappylife

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website  healthymoneyhappylife.com

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com

Call me at (951) 926-4158

Categories
Best Practices Operations Women In Business

New Mom Must – Haves and Effective Parenting Strategies: A Guide to Navigating Parenthood

Taking care of yourself as a new mom and adjusting to your new role can be both exciting and challenging. With so many changes happening, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to do next. However, having a support system and the right tools and knowledge can help you navigate this transition with more ease and confidence. By the end, we will cover some essential must-haves for new moms, how to support a new mom, and effective parenting strategies for new parents.

Understanding My Emotional Needs

As a new mom, it is essential to prioritize your emotional well-being. You may feel overwhelmed or anxious at times, but it is crucial to recognize these feelings and address them. Here are some tips on how to take care of yourself emotionally:

  • Rest whenever you can and accept help when it’s offered
  • Eat nutritious meals and stay hydrated
  • Connect with other new moms for support and advice
  • Take care of your physical and emotional health

By focusing on self-care, you can take care of your baby more effectively.

Must-Haves for New Moms

Having the right tools and items can make your life easier as you care for your new baby. Here are some must-haves:

  • Diapers and wipes
  • Baby clothes and blankets
  • Nursing bras and breast pads (if breastfeeding)
  • Bottles and formula (if bottle-feeding)
  • Baby carrier or sling
  • Baby monitor
  • Changing table or mat
  • Stroller or baby carrier

Preparing for the baby’s arrival can also make the transition easier. Set up a nursery or designated space for the baby, create a registry, stock up on essentials in advance, and prepare meals in advance or arrange for meal delivery.

Supporting a New Mom

As a partner, family member, or friend, supporting a new mom can make a big difference during this exciting but challenging time. Here are some ways to offer support:

  • Understand that new moms may feel overwhelmed or anxious
  • Listen and offer encouragement
  • Help identify and address any feelings of guilt or inadequacy
  • Offer to help with household chores or running errands
  • Bring over a meal or offer to cook
  • Provide a listening ear and offer advice if asked
  • Offer to watch the baby so the new mom can have a break
  • Remind her of her strengths and abilities
  • Validate her feelings and experiences
  • Help her connect with other new moms for additional support

Effective Parenting Strategies for New Parents

As new parents, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to best support your child’s development. Here are some effective parenting strategies to help you navigate this exciting but challenging time:

  • Focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems
  • Cultivate a positive mindset and focus on what’s going well
  • Acknowledge what’s working well and build on it
  • Identify areas for improvement and set goals for positive change
  • Use positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors
  • Set clear expectations and boundaries
  • Use natural consequences for misbehavior
  • Reframe negative behaviors by focusing on positive alternatives
  • Use a guidance approach to parenting that emphasizes problem-solving and collaboration
  • Practice assertiveness and set clear expectations while respecting your child’s needs and feelings
  • Encourage self-regulation and self-motivation in your child
  • Use stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness or exercise
  • Create a peaceful and supportive home environment

Additionally, it’s important to note that every family is different and what works for one family may not work for another. As a new parent, it’s okay to experiment with different strategies and find what works best for you and your child.

Another crucial aspect of effective parenting is establishing a routine and structure for your child. A consistent routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability for your child, which can be especially important during times of change or transition. This can include setting regular bedtimes and meal times, establishing a daily schedule for activities, and creating a designated space for playtime.

It’s also important to foster a positive and nurturing environment for your child. This can include providing praise and encouragement for their accomplishments, expressing love and affection, and creating opportunities for bonding and quality time together. Remember that children thrive in environments where they feel safe, supported, and loved.

By implementing these effective parenting strategies, you can raise confident and resilient children while reducing stress in your household.

Becoming a new mom is an exciting and challenging time, but with the right support and effective parenting strategies, you can navigate this transition with more ease and confidence. By prioritizing your emotional well-being, having the right tools and items, and seeking support from others, you can take care of your baby more.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S.: Looking for more weekly guidance? Join me in my private Facebook group for tips every Tuesday!

Categories
Advice Leadership Wealth Women In Business

Secure Your Retirement: The Importance of ‘Dementia Insurance’ for Retirees

Retirement is supposed to be a time of relaxation and enjoyment, but for many retirees, it can be a source of stress and anxiety. One of the biggest challenges for retirees is managing thier finances. With traditional pension plans becoming less common, many retirees must rely on their own savings, such as their 401(k) plan, to finance their retirement. And while the accumulation phase of saving for retirement can be difficult, it’s nothing compared to the challenges retirees face during the distribution phase.  

As retirees begin to withdraw money from their savings to pay for their expenses, they must also contend with the possibility of cognitive decline. According to recent studies, over half of people in their 80s suffer from dementia or cognitive impairment without dementia. This can make managing finances a daunting task, leaving retirees vulnerable to financial fraud and mishandling of funds.  

Fortunately, there is a solution: ‘dementia insurance.’ This concept, proposed by Harvard economist David Laibson, refers to the use of annuities to help protect retirees from poor financial decisions associated with dementia. An annuity is a financial product that provides a stream of income in exchange for a lump sum payment. By purchasing an annuity early in retirement, retirees can transform their savings into a stream of lifetime income, which can help simplify financial decision-making and protect against fraud.  

The cheapest way to purchase the best annuity is to delay claiming Social Security benefits. For those with modest 401(k) balances, the ideal strategy may be to work as long as possible, then use 401(k) assets to pay for living expenses to delay claiming an extra two or three years. The Social Security annuity is indexed for inflation, which is a feature that is hard to find in the private market.  

While the idea of purchasing an annuity may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that it can provide peace of mind and security during retirement. With the specter of cognitive decline looming, it’s crucial for retirees to plan ahead and take steps to protect their financial future. By considering the purchase of an annuity, retirees can enjoy their golden years with confidence and security. So, don’t wait any longer – start exploring your options for ‘dementia insurance’ today!  

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast  “Money 911 Subscribe to my Youtube channel youtube.com/@healthymoneyhappylife Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions Go to my website  healthymoneyhappylife.com Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com Call me at (951) 926-4158

Categories
Advice Wealth Women In Business

From Illness to Financial Stability: How to Secure Your Future and Protect Your Health

Don’t let illness cripple your financial stability! We all know that health is wealth, but have you ever considered that wealth is also health? When illness strikes, it can be a devastating blow to your finances, leaving you with huge medical bills and a looming sense of financial insecurity. However, with some proper planning and smart investments, you can prevent illness from turning your financial life into a catastrophe.

The first step to financial preparedness for illness is to make a financial plan. You need to evaluate your current assets and estimate your future expenses, taking into account any disability-related costs. A professional financial advisor can help you create a plan that will ensure financial stability for you and your family.

One of the best ways to protect yourself financially during illness is to invest in disability and life insurance. These investments will provide a safety net for you and your family when you need it most. Another smart investment strategy is to have at least 6 months’ worth of income saved in a liquid form, as a security blanket in case of emergency.

Sharing financial information with your partner or spouse is also crucial, especially if you are the sole breadwinner in your family. You should also check your employer’s disability plan and be informed about worker’s compensation, as they can be instrumental in maintaining your financial stability in times of illness.

Investments and financial portfolios should be evaluated on a regular basis, and debt should be avoided as much as possible. Luxuries such as home appliances and cars should be purchased only if you can afford them, and long-term investments should be made with the guidance of a financial advisor.

Ultimately, consolidating all financial information in one place and making the right investments is the key to ensuring financial stability during times of illness. Don’t wait until it’s too late – start planning today to prevent illness from turning your financial life into a catastrophe.

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast  “Money 911Subscribe to my Youtube channel youtube.com/@healthymoneyhappylife

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website https://healthymoneyhappylife.com

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com

Call me at (951) 926-4158

Categories
Accounting Advice Women In Business

Be Prepared: Why an Emergency Fund is Essential for Any Crisis

Are you financially prepared for an emergency situation? Can you survive without access to banks or ATMs for an extended period? Do you have enough emergency funds to cover your basic necessities during natural calamities or catastrophic events? These are the questions that you need to ask yourself to ensure that you are ready for any emergency situation that may come your way.

Having an emergency fund with you is essential to help you survive during tough times. The amount that you need to keep varies, and it depends on the situation that you are in. Some people suggest keeping at least $500, while others recommend $1,000 or more. There are even those who advise saving enough to cover your living expenses for three to eight months.

The important thing is to start saving for your emergency fund today. You can start small by setting aside a portion of your monthly income. Financial gurus suggest saving at least $250 per month, or if you cannot afford that, extend your savings period to 18 months and save at least $166 per month.

One of the common concerns about keeping an emergency fund at home is safety. It’s understandable that you may feel unsafe keeping large sums of money at home, but there are clever and safe ways to hide or keep your emergency funds. You need to find secure places where you can easily access your money when you need it.

Remember, an emergency fund is not disposable income. It should be treated differently and considered a necessity. It’s not a matter of if an emergency situation will happen, but when it will happen. So, it’s essential to be prepared at all times. Saving for an emergency fund takes the same approach as saving for a rainy day or a nest egg.

In conclusion, having an emergency fund is essential to help you survive during tough times. It’s never too late to start saving for your emergency fund today. The amount that you need to keep varies, but the important thing is to have enough cash on hand to cover your basic necessities during natural calamities or catastrophic events. So, start saving now and be prepared for any emergency situation that may come your way.

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast “Money 911” and Subscribe to my Youtube channel here

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website healthymoneyhappylife.com

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com Call me at (951) 926-4158

Categories
Advice Best Practices Wealth Women In Business

Building Financial Security: Simple Tips to Take Control of Your Finances and Secure Your Future

Are you worried about your financial future? Do you ever feel like you’re just barely getting by, and the idea of retirement seems like a far-off dream? You’re not alone. Many people feel overwhelmed and uncertain about their finances, especially in the midst of economic uncertainty and unexpected emergencies.

But the good news is that financial security is within your reach. By following a few simple tips, you can take control of your finances and build a brighter future for yourself and your loved ones.

First, start by making saving a habit. Remember when you were a kid and your parents encouraged you to put a portion of your allowance into a piggy bank? The same principle applies today. Set aside at least 10% of your income into a savings account, and make it a regular habit. This will give you a safety net for emergencies and unexpected expenses, and help you build towards a more secure future.

Next, ditch the credit cards. Credit cards can make it easy to overspend and rack up debt, leaving you feeling trapped and uncertain about your finances. Instead, focus on buying only what you can afford with cash or your debit card. This will help you stay within your budget and avoid unnecessary debt.

Speaking of budget, make sure you have one! A budget is an essential tool for gaining financial security. By knowing exactly how much money you have coming in and going out each month, you can make informed decisions about your spending and ensure that you’re not overspending or falling into debt.

Another important step is to avoid silly risks. We all want to get rich quick, but the truth is that the most reliable way to build wealth is to do it slowly and steadily over time. Avoid get-rich-quick schemes, gambling, and other risky investments that could leave you worse off than before.

If you’re looking to save for retirement, consider putting your savings into a tax-deferred account or a Roth IRA. These types of accounts allow you to save your money and avoid taxes until you withdraw it, making it an effective way to build towards your retirement.

While you’re at it, make sure you’re not paying unnecessary taxes. Work with a good tax attorney to figure out where you can save on taxes legally, without risking any legal trouble.

Finally, invest intelligently. Making the right investments can be a great way to build wealth over time. However, it’s important to work with a professional who can guide you toward the right investments for your goals and risk tolerance.

Protecting your assets is also an essential part of gaining financial security. Make sure you have insurance for your assets, including your home, car, and life. This will give you peace of mind and help you enjoy your assets without worrying about your finances.

In short, financial security may seem like a daunting goal, but it’s within your reach. By taking these simple steps, you can take control of your finances and build a brighter future for yourself and your loved ones. Remember, the freedom that comes from not having to worry about retirement and emergencies is priceless. So start building your financial security today!

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast  “Money 911

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website https://healthymoneyhappylife.com

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com

Call me at (951) 926-4158

Categories
Advice Wealth Women In Business

From Ancient Rome to Modern Day: The Timeless Success of Deferred Annuities

Have you ever wondered how people secured their retirement income in ancient times? Look no further than the Roman Empire over two thousand years ago, where speculators sold a payout known as Annua – the root word for what we know as annuities today. Fast forward to 1720 in the United States, where the Presbyterian Church used annuities to provide a secure retirement for aging ministers and their families, widows, and orphans. Annuities have been a reliable and vital financial tool for individuals, organizations, and businesses worldwide ever since. In 1912, Pennsylvania Company Insurance was among the first to offer annuities to the general public in the United States. Today, annuities continue to grow in popularity as people look for secure ways to guarantee retirement income. Many notable people throughout history have made use of annuities, including Benjamin Franklin, Babe Ruth, OJ Simpson, and even former Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, who disclosed that his major financial assets were two annuities.    

One type of annuity that has gained significant attention over the years is the deferred annuity. As the name suggests, a deferred annuity allows for deferral in the payout, which allows the value of the annuity to increase. After a deferral period, the annuity can produce more income, providing a lifetime of financial stability. Deferred annuities can be purchased in periodic, systematic, or lump sum payments, providing flexibility to suit individual needs.    

Deferred annuities have the added advantage of tax deferral, making them commonly referred to as tax-deferred annuities. With tax deferral, you can earn interest on your annuity without paying taxes until you withdraw funds from the annuity. This makes it an attractive option for individuals looking to build a retirement nest egg.    

Fixed deferred annuities are typically invested in high-quality A-AAA government and investment-grade bonds, providing stability and no risk to the client. On the other hand, variable deferred annuities are invested in the securities market, and clients assume the market risk. Fixed index deferred annuities use the index as a gauge to credit interest to the client, providing a balance between market risk and stability.    

One unique feature of deferred annuities is that they are creditor-protected in most states, providing an added layer of security for individuals concerned about protecting their assets. Additionally, a CD deferred annuity refers to a type of annuity that has a multi-year interest guarantee, similar to a bank-issued CD.    

It’s important to note that deferred annuities are first guaranteed by the claims-paying ability of the insurer, and then each state has a State Insurance Guarantee Association (SIGA) with varying coverage limits. Therefore, it’s essential to choose a reputable insurer and do your due diligence before investing in a deferred annuity.    

In conclusion, annuities have a rich and successful history, dating back to ancient Rome, and continue to provide a reliable financial tool for individuals, organizations, and businesses worldwide. Deferred annuities, in particular, offer flexibility, tax deferral, and stability, making them a popular choice for those looking to secure their retirement income.    

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast “Money 911” and Subscribe to my Youtube channel here

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website healthymoneyhappylife.com

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com Call me or text (951) 926-4158

Categories
Culture Personal Development Women In Business

The Benefits of Integrating Astrological Insights in Your Business Strategy

Case for Astrology Throughout history, astrology has been a useful tool for scientific methods, political strategy, business growth and the pursuit of fame. The earliest Popes used astrology either through other’s interpretations or their own.[1] Scientists such as Hippocrates[2], the Father of Medicine, believed astrology was invaluable to medicine, even teaching astrology to his medical students. He’s quoted as saying, “A physician without the knowledge of astrology has no right to call himself a physician.” Galileo Galilei was both an astronomer and astrologer, drafting horoscopes[3] for nobility and students and Johannes Kepler, the calculator of planetary motion, was also the official astrologer for the Holy Roman Emperor Rudolf II[4]. Carl Jung incorporated astrology with his psychological counselling work, calling it ‘synchronicity’ and is quoted as saying, “Your psyche is the breathing of the cosmos.”[5] A famous astrologer, John Dee[6], counseled Queen Elizabeth I, Theodore Roosevelt hung his horoscope in the Oval Office, Franklin Delano Roosevelt quoted horoscopes and President Reagan used astrology when making decisions[7]. J.P. Morgan is the most recognized businessmen to use astrology, being quoted as saying, “Millionaires don’t use astrologers, billionaires do.” [8] Gloria Vanderbilt, heiress to a huge fortune and successful business woman in her own right, was a keen follower of astrology.[9] According to Fast Company, “astrology has officially infiltrated work culture.”[10] The former U.S. Secretary of Treasury, Donald Reagan, once said “It’s common knowledge that a large percentage of Wall Street brokers use astrology.”[11] Angelina Joile uses astrology daily and to make important decisions about movie roles and premiere dates. Cameron Diaz, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Madonna, Princess Diana have been avid fans of following astrology for their life and career choices. Beyonce even has a song titled, “Signs”.[12] According to a 2018 Pew Research poll, about 29% of American adults now believe in astrology. Likewise, the poll found that women are more likely to believe in astrology (37%) than men are (20%).[13] Astrology in Business Astrology is important for business because it creates certainty and calm amidst chaos. Astrology helps business leaders with decision making, setting strategy, creating plans and scheduling. It helps inform teams of direction and next steps, as well as gives insight into team strengths, communication abilities and effective skill building methods. Astrology supports timing and course of action for marketing events, sales promotions and outreach, product launches, travel, staffing, communication and investing or divesting. Astrology increases self-awareness and empathic relations for business owners and their staffs. It’s useful for branding, positioning and informs business modeling for success. Across the organization, astrology is a useful tool, creating results on the top and bottom lines. Results based on Astrology in Business Kim Woods, MBA Business Strategist and Master Astrologer, uses astrology in her own business as well as all of her clients. She and her team of Intuitive Leaders have consulted with over 350 business leaders in either 1:1 customized solutions or in small group programs. For her own business, everything is based on astrology, from decisions regarding high-level multi-year strategy to timing during the day for reaching out to a prospect or associate. She uses the Sun and its power to leverage each monthly zodiac sign for coordinating launch cycles for seasonal programs and relies on the Moon for timing of the business growth and optimization phases. Kim’s organizational planning is dependent on her personal astrology as well as the worldly annual forecast. Each of her leadership team also consults their astrology when front-facing with the marketplace. Big star events are scheduled and communicated to her company’s audience to take advantage of the star energies for expansion or deepening, depending on their particular influences. Astrology is effective as Kim’s company has grown an average of 378% over a three-year period, even during the pandemic. For her clients, Kim begins every engagement with a ‘Big Reveal’ into the business owner’s birth chart by walking into their stars the minute they’re born and opening them to their full potential. She assesses their foundational personality characteristics aligning these with their life mission, bravery, mastery and soul destiny signatures. She compiles themes based on their evolutionary DNA, success factors and satisfying love, money and relationship expressions. The client’s personal star roadmap constructs the foundation of their work together, continuing to relate to their business models, success blueprints, marketing and sales energies. The work doesn’t end with business, but involves partner relationships and family dynamics in order to achieve the client’s goals for creating ease and satisfaction as well as growth and abundance.  Additionally, she reviews team, client, prospect, vendor and collaboration opportunities for her clients as well as advises on buying and selling personal or business properties. For corporations, Kim uses the astrological ‘birth’ chart of the business itself to further inform about the most successful direction for the business. Kim also relays timing based on transit analysis to give her clients notice of positive growth-oriented periods for outreach, negotiations, promotions and sales versus the right timing for streamlining, optimizing and divesting. Aligning business opportunities with the stars is something unbelievably valuable, it’s almost priceless. Kim has seen her clients grow an average of 51% across the board during the pandemic, even with brick and mortar businesses. She’s experienced her clients double their revenues, or gain 30% revenues while lowering effort by 40%. She’s seen triple digit jumps month-over-month when her clients align themselves with their astrological signature, as well as the astrology going on in the world. Connect with Kim for a FREE strategy call to see how your astrological chart can be leveraged in business so you can gain a competitive edge in the market!
[1] “Leaders Who Followed the Stars”, Orlando Sentinel, by Sam Hodges, May 17, 1988. [2] Astronomy, Astrology, Medicine, by Dorian Gieseler Greenbaum, July 7, 2014. [3] Galileo’s Horoscopes, Swerdlow, N.M., Journal for the History of Astronomy, Vol 35, Part 2, No. 119, p. 135 -141, 2004. [4] “400-Year-Old Horoscope Shows Kepler’s Sideline”, New York Times by Associated Press, March 9, 1999. [5] “Carl Jung and Astrology in Psychoanalysis”, Exploring Your Mind, February 8, 2018. [6] “Painting of John Dee, Astrologer to Queen Elizabeth I”, by Marissa Fessenden, Smithsonian Magazine, January 18, 2016. [7] “White House Confirms Reagans Follow Astrology, Up to a Point”, New York Times, by Steven V. Roberts, May 4, 1988. [8] “Can Planets Affect Your Portfolio?” Forbes, by Kenneth Rapozza, February 20, 2012. [9] “The Surprising Ways Successful Business People and Presidents Used Astrology”, Numerologist, August 29, 2019. [10] “From Tarot Readings to Gemini Memes…”, Fast Company by Pavithra Mohan, September 9, 2019. [11] “Famous People and Their Astrologers who Guide Them”, St. James Chicago, December 15, 2017. [12] 10 Celebs Who Believe in Astrology”, The Things by Anja Grcar, January 8, 2021. [13] “‘New Age’ beliefs common among both religious and nonreligious Americans”, Pew Research Center, by Claire Gecewicz, October 1, 2018.
Categories
Best Practices Culture Uncategorized Women In Business

What are your children actually listening to?  Who? Inner voices? Outer voices? Both?

Control. Do you feel yourself longing for it lately?
When life feels uncertain, we often respond by grasping for control in any way possible.

You hyperfocus on cleaning up the house.

You micromanage a project at work.

You criticize your spouse for the way they do…just about anything.
And you try to get your kid to “behave.”

The belief that we should control our children, that they need to act according to our wishes, usually comes from a deep-seated belief passed down from our own childhood. And when our kids don’t do what we think they should do, we take it personally:

They’re driving ME crazy.
They’re making ME frustrated.
They’re not listening to ME.
We’re tuned into how our kids make us feel, but what about them?

If they’re not listening to you, who are they listening to? What are they listening to? Why can’t they just do as they’re told?!?

The answer is that (just like us and everyone else) they’re listening to something inside themselves.  Watch this trailer for that Pixar movieInside Out?

Have they been silencing that sarcastic voice inside all day at school and they just can’t do it anymore?


Have they buried their own feelings so they can follow orders at school and now have they collapsed into high emotion because they can’t dismiss themselves a minute longer?

Chances are that they never learned the skill to get “bigger than what’s bugging them.” They don’t have a clue how to be connected with their feelings and be present to them in a way that communicates complete self acceptance of what is there. Not identified with them or overcome by them, and just as importantly not numb to them or oblivious to them and their inner world either!

Rumi, the Persian poet born 807 years ago expressed it so well in his poem The Guest House.

As an adult with tons of training I am still mindful to be with the feelings that arise and be attending to them like a visitor or a guest passing through. No matter what is arising internally I am interested and curious! I don’t identify with it as who I Am.  The skill of Being With makes all the difference.

Once we are centered in the sense of self that is bigger than identification with any one part of us we can turn toward all of it and hear how it is feeling from it’s perspective and how it wants us to behave without giving the reins over to that part and behaving how it wants us to!

Granted, if we are merged with that part, and in essence we have collapsed into it, we may be:

  • throwing a temper tantrum
    • riding a scooter through the house, or
    • sneaking out after curfew.

I’m suggesting you support your child to have the awareness of their inner world, to cultivate “getting bigger than what’s bugging them,” so that they can be with all the parts of themselves just as they are,with total self acceptance AND also without letting that part decide their behaviors.


With this knowledge you can see how they are separate from you.  How they are navigating the outer voices in their world and their inner voices.  When your child says “no” to you, they’re saying “yes” to something inside themselves. Get curious about what they are saying “yes” to inside of themselves.

Developing a sense of self is important for your kid. You want to raise a confident adult who’s able to advocate for what they need. But without the right guidance, you’ll probably default to judging what inconveniences you, and to control your child’s behavior, under the false pretense that they made you feel the way you do – which is of course ridiculous – no one makes us feel.

Every parent I’ve worked with has made the mistake of trying to control their child in some way. But you can change your behavior and transform your relationship. (And incidentally, your child will probably start listening to you more often!)

Love and blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Looking for a little mid-week guidance with your conscious parenting journey? We have good news! Our resident pediatrician, Dr. Lauren Fulkerson, and I have returned with Tuesday Tips in our private Facebook group! Last Tuesday we discussed the recent influx in school shootings – what can parents do to protect their kids.