C-Suite Network

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Best Practices Personal Development Skills

The Productivity Paradox: How Chasing Two Rabbits Can Sabotage Your Success

Multitasking works to get things done slowly and with poor quality. You may disagree. Many times during the day, you may feel overwhelmed. So you decide to kick it up by multitasking, so you feel like you’ve been productive but really have little nothing to show for it. The answer is not trying to spin more plates on sticks at one time; the answer is slowing down, narrowing focus, and completing one thing at a time.

It’s time to introduce you to the lesser-known, more successful cousin of multitasking: Monotasking.  Just work at a steady pace, keep your plate full, and keep chipping away.  The crazy thing is—you’ll probably get there just as fast, if not faster. Here are some basics to get you started.

We are taking on jobs and responsibilities while saying yes to everything, leaving you with the massive task of getting everything done. If you could see yourself as you multitask, you would be shocked at what you see: missed items, uncompleted pieces, and shoddy quality. However, what we see through our eyes as we are in the middle of things, we miss how ineffectual we are. Besides, we are not making progress, constantly switching from one activity to another without completing the first.

Studies show it can take anywhere from 11 to 23 minutes or longer to find your focus after an interruption or task switch. So what is the solution to multitasking?

The solution is simple – do the opposite, just Monotask and produce better results. How to start Monotasking with two simple steps.

First, write it down and get the tasks out of your head. The old-school paper works best.

Do a second pass and put things into categories if you want. But the only thing that matters is that it’s on the list, and nothing is in your head.

Once it’s written out, you can organize it how you like. Color-code tasks and arrange them from big to small, by category or time needed. Once you know everything is listed, you will feel calmer because the list has an end.

Instead of multitasking, do one thing—for as long as you want or until it is finished. Just work at a steady pace, keep your plate full, and keep chipping away. You’ll find that this new pace is far more sustainable and productive. 

Should you start with the easiest or the hardest? It depends on you. One: by starting with the easiest possible items, you can get a bunch done quickly and build momentum. The other is to attack the most challenging first. Once completed, you’ll feel like you can conquer anything, just like coasting downhill on a bike. Either way, you can’t go wrong by working steadily one task at a time. Slow but effective work every time.

For more Healthy Money Tips Listen to our PodCast “Money 911”

Sign up for a Financial Fitness Strategy Session at Meet with Kris Miller – Financial Fitness Strategy Sessions

Go to my website https://healthymoneyhappylife.com/

Email me at Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLIfe.com

Call me or text (951) 926-4158

Categories
Best Practices Personal Development Skills

MICHAEL MAGLIANO Personal Brand Origin Story

I struck out.

It was 2008. The biggest recession to hit Chicago in decades. Everyone in sales struck out. I had only been an industrial broker for a few years, this business takes time to build, and my wife and I were expecting our 2nd daughter. My salary was full commission and the market tanked; I mean everything went to zero. Nada.

Growing up a Cubs fan, I got used to losing, but nothing prepared me for this.

I called in Uncle Lou. I’ve been calling in Uncle Lou for business advice since I was 16. After our conversation, I made two of the most humbling decisions of my life. First, I accepted Uncle Wally’s generous loan. Yes, I paid him back. Then I returned to Lou Malnati’s delivering pizzas. The same job I had in high school, the one my neighbor and her friend (who later became my beautiful wife) secured for me.

These were lean, tough years.

Which is why when I got hired again as an industrial broker at Cushman and Wakefield, over 14 years ago, I was determined to employ a long-term strategy for success. It’s similar to how I approach baseball, a game my grandpa and dad taught me as a child, and I continued to play well into my thirties. I keep the focus on building quality relationships and delivering value regardless of if a sale is on the line. Then when sales do come in – the singles, doubles, triples, and homeruns – they are all treated with same vigor because I know this game is won over many innings, over many years.

Or even generations which is often the case for many family run manufacturing businesses.

I especially like these clients because hard work and loyalty are at the core of their ethics. Plus, I was born with the gift of gab, inherited from my dad a retired postmaster, so I enjoy building rapport within various family dynamics.  My own Italian family is like how comedian Sebastian Maniscalco describes his in that company skit, pre-wireless days, where folks are on the ready with Entenmann cakes and Sanka to welcome in visitors. Imagine that – no phone call, no notice, just a knock on the door – and my grandparents loved it. In fact, we all did. Our Sunday family dinners often had random company at the table. Food was the way my grandmother showed love, she even once dropped off a lasagna to help ensure I got a college internship at 670AM The Score. It kills me I’m such a poor excuse for an Italian. I developed too many allergies as an adult to enjoy these meals. I am even allergic to pizza, c’mon, now that’s ironic.

I take extreme pride in being an honest resource to my clients, one they can rely on to mitigate multi-million-dollar risk.

Moving a manufacturing plant is strenuous with so many considerations to factor in, it gets overwhelming fast. It’s a pleasure navigating clients through this process, step-by-step like a partner customizing a real estate plan they can trust. Frequently, this means I play the ultimate connector, making service provider recommendations and calling on team members when their expertise is needed. What I love about baseball, unlike other fast paced, individually high-scoring games, is you need all nine players to show up and work together to win. Our sales strategy at Cushman and Wakefield works the same, and we prioritize fun and family.

As a dad of three girls, it’s my absolute privilege to be at their events and active in their lives. My motto to them is to be true to yourself at work and at home. Which is why at the end of every baseball season, I chuckle thinking about my grandfather who lived 96 years as an avid Cubs fan, but not long enough to celebrate their 2016 World Series championship. Sometimes being true to yourself also means striking out. That is when quality relationships matter the most. Strive to make it count.

Categories
Case Studies Culture Leadership Marketing Personal Development Skills Technology Women In Business

Women Supporting Women

Did you know it’s National Women’s History Month? As a female business owner and entrepreneur, I’d like to say THANK YOU to all those who came before me and paved the way. Sometimes, being a strong powerful woman can feel very isolating. We all know the irreplaceable value of a strong, inclusive, loving support group. From childhood to parenthood, small networks of family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and classmates give us a sense of belonging, protection, and camaraderie.

Support feeds the soul.

Getting the right support is crucial. Whether your kid won’t stop yelling your name or your coworker is clicking their pen incessantly, there are times when you’re frustrated and stressed out. All you want is the sympathetic voice of a friend who knows what you’re going through (and maybe a glass of wine).

You may have been disconnected from your usual support systems in recent seasons of life. I’ve discovered that a great podcast can help rebuild a sense of community. Listening to a wonderful podcast host feels a bit like a conversation with a wise and empathetic friend.

I’ve had the honor of collaborating with several incredible podcasts within the Conscious Parenting Revolution platform. If you’d like a little female camaraderie and support, I encourage you to listen (and subscribe!) to these fantastic shows.

THE SENSORY PROJECT SHOW

Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill are certified occupational therapy assistants whose mission is to help families practice health and wellness in their daily lives. They’re light-hearted, funny, intelligent women with a fresh perspective on healthy family dynamics. Listen to my episode with Rachel and Jessica here.

THE BLENDED FAMILY PODCAST

Melissa Brown addresses the challenges of having an extended and blended home life with personal stories based on her own family. She tackles difficult topics like having a healthy divorce, managing relationships between non-biological siblings, and “time sharing” with an ex. Her episodes aim to help blended families not only co-exist, but thrive. Listen to my episode with Melissa here.

DISTRACTION PODCAST

In our world full of bright, shiny objects, we all need some advice on managing distractions. Dr. Ned Hallowell, a New York Times best-selling author and ADHD expert, lends his expertise on minimizing distractions in your daily life. His bright, enthusiastic show offers practical advice and shows how issues like ADHD can transform into strengths. Listen to my episode with Dr. Ned here.

THE MODERN MAMAS PODCAST

Jess Gaertner and Laura Bruner embody modern motherhood: Laura is a certified nutrition consultant, Jess is a licensed athletic trainer with a master’s degree in kinesthesiology, both are CrossFit trainers, and mamas to their babies—whew! They interview guests about fertility, pregnancy, parenting, fitness, and holistic health and spirituality. This duo is a blast to listen to! Listen to my episode with Jess and Laura here.

EXPERT TALK WITH TGO

A direct connection into the world of “Trailblazers” who openly share their journeys to success. From step-by-step tips on building their businesses to how they overcame insurmountable odds and turned their dreams into realities. Tune in to our International Women’s Day LIVE Event March 8th!

LAW OF ATTRACTION WITH NATASHA GRAZIANO

Bringing you the latest wisdom and neuroscience on how to manifest your goals in life and create abundance in wealth, love, health, relationships. She is the creator of the world renowned meditational behavioral synchronicity (MBS) method. By listening to this podcast, you will learn how to refocus your mindset and thought processes with practical and mindful exercises that you can begin right here, right now, simply by pressing play. Listen to my podcast episode here.

 

Which episode was your favorite? Hit reply and let me know!

Love and blessings,

Katherine

P.S. I am thrilled to be part of the 3rd Annual International Women’s Day Marathon!! An event featuring over 25 live interviews hosted by my good friend, TGo, showcasing successful women from small business entrepreneurs to trailblazers from around the world. On March 8, 2023, from 9-5pm PT, you can watch this event for FREE, streamed live from the comfort of your own home. You will have the opportunity to hear from remarkable women who have made a significant impact in their respective fields, inspiring and empowering you to achieve your own goals. This inspiring event is made possible by NOW – the Network Of Outstanding Women, and is sponsored in part by PodNation TV and JD3TV networks. I can’t wait to share with you! iwdm.live

 

Categories
Body Language Parenting Skills Women In Business

Compassionate Communication: A Primer on Conscious Parenting Language

With President’s Weekend in my home country, the United States, upon us, I wanted to touch on communication. Whether you’re leading a household or a country, great leadership stems from great communication.

There’s a verse in the Bible that states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” This proverb encapsulates what we already know to be true: words hold a lot of weight. What we say—and how we say it—can have an enormous effect on those around us.

At the Conscious Parenting Revolution, one of our core teachings is effective and compassionate communication. We repair family relationships by teaching parents and children methods and tools for listening with love and speaking from the heart.

Our conscious parenting vocabulary revolves around supportive communication. The goal of this approach is to build others up and never tear them down no matter what situation you find yourself in—calm or stressful, charged or joyful.

If you often find yourself at a loss for words when communicating with your children, here is some basic conscious parenting language to use for effective, life-giving communication.

Compassionate Communication: A Primer on Conscious Parenting Language

Situation: You’re caught in an argument or a tense circumstance

CPR Language: Instead of “You always” or “You never,” say “It seems/feels.” 

When you find yourself at what could be the start of a heated argument with your child, take a moment to step back and reframe what you’re about to say.

Instead of the usual accusatory, “You never clean your room,” try something less aggressive like, “It seems that you’re having a hard time keeping your room tidy.”

Words like “never” and “always” put your child in defensive mode, which could result in them shutting you out. Rephrase your words so your kid feels encouraged to open up and tell you the true root of the problem.

Situation: A celebratory occasion, such as your child receiving high grades at school

CPR Language: Instead of, “You’re so smart,” say, “Congratulations! I admire how hard you worked on that!” 

One of the communication methods we teach is using acknowledgement instead of praise.

Praising a child for their intelligence or outward appearance teaches them to measure their self-worth based on superficial traits and external factors.

Acknowledgement, on the other hand, allows a child to connect to their own sense of accomplishment. It helps them become self-aware of their competencies and tap into how they feel about themselves. 

Situation: Your child exhibited bad behavior

CPR Language: Instead of, “As punishment you’ll…,” say, “Can you tell me what made you act/react in this way?”

Simply punishing bad behavior never addresses the root of the problem. Rather than resorting to punishment, ask your child why they acted a certain way.

Was there a misunderstanding? Did they feel unheard, unseen, hungry, sad, or some other negative emotion? Once your child explains what caused their behavior, work on finding a solution together.

Situation: Describing your kid’s behavior

CPR Language: Instead of, “You’re a mess,” say, “You made a mess.”

There’s a big difference between telling your child their behavior was irresponsible and making them feel like they are irresponsible.

Your words have a major impact on your children! So use non-blameful descriptions of their behavior and avoid labeling them in a negative way that can undermine their self-confidence or self-love.

Situation: You lost your temper/lashed out/made a mistake

CPR Language: “I’m sorry.”

Traditional parenting says that parents should never apologize to their children. But our kids are human, too, and they deserve an apology when we’re in the wrong.

Saying the words, “I’m sorry,” lets your kid know that their parent is, in fact, human. It also sets you both on a path of mending and healing.

Words have the power to bring comfort and devastation, joy and pain. Let’s do our best to communicate with our children with the love and compassion they deserve.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Want a chance to practice your new Conscious Parenting vocabulary? Join our private Facebook group to connect with like-minded parents around the world. We run live impromptu Tips for Parents in that private facebook group, join and request to be alerted when we go live and you can ask your individual questions.

 

 

Categories
Human Resources Parenting Personal Development Skills

5 Mindfulness techniques you can use with your kids

What is mindfulness? If it’s something you have never tried before, it’s a way of focusing your awareness on the present moment. And at the same time, you calmly acknowledge and accept your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s used as a therapeutic technique. So right now, it’s something that can really help you stay calm as we deal with all the uncertainty around us.

Mindfulness has lots of amazing benefits. From decreasing your stress to improving your mood. It can also help with emotional regulation. And that’s not just for adults. Your child can experience these benefits, as well. However, you are no doubt thinking, ‘Get my kids to sit down and meditate? Are you crazy?’ Well, there are ways you can help your children be mindful. You just have to make it fun.

While your kids don’t have the same stresses as adults, they often don’t connect with their feelings. With all the activities they do and the time they spend on their phones and tablets, they are often mindlessly going through the day. This means the only time they are checking in with themselves is when they have a tantrum or meltdown. And that leads to you being even more stressed out than you were before.

Mindfulness can help your children check in with their emotions and recognize them. Research shows that practicing mindfulness with children helps them increase their focus, decrease stress and anxiety, and can enable positive prosocial behavior. It can also be a great way to connect with your child and find a moment of tranquility. And they can be few and far between right now.

Here are five great ways you can introduce mindfulness to your children. And you will both reap the rewards.

5 Easy Mindfulness Techniques For Your Kids

  1. Breathing exercise

Meditation is essentially about sitting down and focusing on your own breath. What does it feel and sound like? Now your child might struggle with sitting still for longer than a matter of seconds. How do you combat that? You can use colorful pillows and play some soft music to create an atmosphere of calm and love. This will also get them interested. You can ask them to pretend they can smell something really nice, like flowers or a cake. As they take a deep breath in, they can then pretend to blow out candles or a ‘dandelion clock’ as they breathe out. Ask your child to think about their tummy rising and falling. Start by keeping it short, aim for 10. Then you can increase the time.

  1. Notice 5 things around you

When you consciously notice the world around you, it can help bring you back to the present. This is very helpful when you are feeling overwhelmed by stress or emotion. Noticing five things you can see brings you back to the present.

You can turn this into a game for your kids. Sit down with your child wherever you are and explain you want to play the “notice five things” game. Then you call out five things you can see around you, and ask your child to try it too. Then you can explain this can help if they are ever feeling upset. You can also try saying, noticing five things you can hear.

This game brings your child back to the now. It works really effectively if your kids are already relaxed and ready to learn. With regular practice, your child will soon be calling on this tool to help with stress or losing control.

  1. Encourage your child to embrace all their feelings

No matter how hard you try to keep your children calm, they w

ill, at some point, throw a tantrum. Mindfulness can enable them to learn how to accept their feelings without judgement. As a parent, you need to set an example in this.

Of course, if your child is in the middle of the grocery store screaming blue murder, you are just as upset as they are. So easier said than done. But if you try and see past their behavior, acknowledge your reaction, take some deep breaths yourself, that is the first step to calming everything down.=

Don’t try and get them to do meditative breathing while they are throwing a hissy fit. This will not go down well! And it won’t work. Instead, wait until they have calmed down a little. Then talk to them about their feelings, and the unmet needs behind those feelings. You can then do some breathing and discuss how you can both look at solutions for dealing with it the next time. And there will be more than likely, next time!

  1. Drop anchor

In this exercise, you stand across from your child. Stand with your feet firmly on the floor around shoulder-width apart, and show them how to do it. Then demonstrate how to push down through your feet so you can feel the ground steady beneath you. Ask, ‘How do your leg muscles feel when you push down?’

Then ask your child to tune in to different parts of their body

, starting with the head. Ask, “How does it feel?’ You work down through the whole body so your child can feel the weight of gravity connecting them to the earth.

Once you have done that together, ask what they can notice around them. This is essentially a way of linking back to the earth around you and feeling more grounded in the present.

  1. Silence game

The silence game has been practiced in Montessori classrooms around the world for many years. This mindfulness practice asks children to be as quiet as they can. And it’s not just with their voices, it’s with their bodies as well. It’s good to aim for a minute, to begin with, asking kids to be as quiet and still as they can.

When the game ends, speak in a soft voice and ask your kids what they heard or saw while they experienced the quiet. Then ask them to keep that calm, peaceful feeling during their next activity, and if they can for the rest of the day.

In conclusion, these simple games and activities are an excellent way for you and your child to connect differently. They will help them build tools to center themselves when they feel stressed or out of sorts.

Mindfulness is a way you and your child can experience calm to

gether. It will also alleviate those feelings of nervousness and anxiety, which we are all dealing with during the coronavirus.

Don’t approach mindfulness with too many expectations. This means you’re living in the future, and mindfulness is about the present.

But if you encourage your child to embrace these methods, they will also start learning the necessary tools to self-regulate. If you practice regularly, your kids will feel happier and more peaceful. And so will you.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine Sellery

PS: It’s a crazy time of year – the overstimulation, the weather changes, the time off from school. Read my entry on how to introduce structure to your children’s life if you are dealing with chaos. Click on the link here now.

 

Categories
Best Practices Growth Parenting Personal Development Skills

7 Ways you can help stop boredom for your kids at home

“I’m bored.”

The words every parent recognizes — and likely dreads.

Our children are continually learning, socialising, and most have a busier calendar of birthday parties and playdates than we do. But, during the summer or less busy times, children often quickly find themselves looking for things to do.

From teens to tweens to little ones boredom is no stranger! We even get bored! Children aged between five and six years old are used to a structured routine. However, occasionally your routine may change or be less busy on some days or during holidays.

This leaves your kids not knowing what to do with themselves. Without an endless stream of activities to keep kids occupied outside of the house, here’s how to help them grow accustomed to days where there’s often a dull moment, so everyone stays sane.

Why your child gets bored

Boredom is a familiar feeling in children. Feeling irritated, unsatisfied, or uninterested by any activity can lead to boredom. Boredom occurs when your kid feels energetic but has no idea where to direct his energy. Boredom is a common complaint among children and adults, as well.

You or your child may become bored while engaged in an activity, due to:

  • Loss of interest
  • Confusing instructions
  • Fear of making a mistake
  • Repetition of the activity for too much time
  • Feeling unable to try new approaches to the activity

How you can use Conscious Parenting Guidance if your child is bored

Although you may too be feeling fraught at times with life so uncertain and a lack of any routine, it’s an opportunity to apply conscious parenting guidance, and not respond to them angrily or rudely.

Try these steps:

  • Don’t ask why your child is bored. That can be a roadblock in communication.
  • If your kids are frustrated, don’t respond in an angry or annoyed way. Take a deep breath and center yourself first.
  • Help your child recognize other emotional issues or feelings which you might have mistaken as boredom.
  • Ask open-ended questions to get their creative juices going.
  • Help your child find an engaging activity or one you can participate in together.
  • Your child may just be feeling bored temporarily. They may be trying to get your attention, or they may just want to play.

7 ways you can keep boredom at bay with your kids

That’s all very well, but what if your imagination of engaging activities is exhausted or you are busy and exhausted and do not have time to always entertain them?

Here are ideas for helping to stop the boredom at home.

Get Back To Nature

It’s the perfect opportunity to let their creativity thrive and spend some time nurturing plants and seeds which could grow in the garden or a window box.

Remember your childhood favorites

What about all the simple things you could entertain yourself doing for hours when you were a child. Maybe a good old fashioned paper airplane race?
How about finding a rope and skipping? Learning to hula-hoop? Remember all those rainy days you filled by playing hang-man?

Go High Tech

You don’t need to avoid all of the technology available. But as a conscious parent, you may want to guide your children towards some of the more socially conscious apps or encourage them to use their time on-line to build their blog.

Fix Things

How many items do you have on your fix-it list? Usually, we are time-poor, and it’s easier to throw something away and get another one when it breaks. This is the perfect opportunity to teach your child how to fix things. Maybe you can show your older children how to sew a button back into a shirt, or even learn together. There is an abundance of YouTube tutorials that will guide you through.

Music

Why not encourage your children to develop their music tastes? It’s the perfect time to explore their likes and tell them about a song of your favorite bands and songs.

Cook

What better way to get creative together than to cook together? You can concoct something from the cupboard, or follow a recipe along. It’s an opportunity to explore flavors and tastes and be present in making something creative for the family to enjoy. And, of course, if you’re baking, someone needs to lick the frosting from the spoon. It’s a rite of passage.

Put on a play

Or even a dance number. Learn it, perform it, and enjoy them getting into character and being someone else for a while. It’s an opportunity to learn empathy as they can see a situation from another’s eyes.

Why a little boredom can help your kids

These are all great ideas, but is a little boredom healthy for your child? Dr. Steve Silvestro says it’s essential to allow your child to be bored and that it can spark creativity — and that’s why some of us get our best ideas in the shower.

Doing the same routine every day, often at the same time of day, over and over again — it’s pretty dull in there. That dullness and monotony actually gives your brain freedom to wander and explore nooks and crannies of thought that you might not meander through at other parts of your day.

When children are bored, they have the luxury to allow their minds to explore in more detail. It gives the opportunity to get ingenious and creative.

Encourage your children to come up with some ideas themselves. You can build a “Thinking Spot” for your child. If you can create a space in your child’s room or a playroom with a comfy seat or pillow, paper & pencils, perhaps even small toys for inspiration, then when your child says that they are bored, suggest that she sit in the “Thinking Spot” and come up with ideas.

Boredom is completely normal. Dr. Dibya Choudhuri, a professor with the counselling program at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti says we didn’t have a word for boredom until the 19th century.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But very quickly it got a very bad rap. When children are left alone to figure something out, you’ll often be blown away by their ability to problem solve, and boredom gives this a chance to develop.

This is why it’s actually healthy to let your kids get bored for a certain amount of time.

Of course — none of this will stop the bleating cry of “I’m bored,” so it’s helpful to be prepared with your responses. Ignoring them doesn’t get you much peace. The best approach is to turn it into a positive. When you hear those fateful words, you can tell them, “I love it when I’m bored. I can get really creative with what I’m going to do next. I have time to think, and it’s up to me to do whatever I want to do.”

If you liked reading this blog post, then check out our blog post all about how to get some structure during chaos.

Categories
Growth Personal Development Skills

How Do You Cope with A Hyperactive Child

As every parent of a hyperactive child knows, no two days are the same. While we love our lively offspring with all our hearts, some days make your heart sing, while others can have you on your knees.

Knowing how to minimize meltdowns and misunderstandings comes with experience, but with the guidance parenting technique, you can incorporate tips into your family life that will not only sow the seeds for harmony but help you all flourish.

Many children with attention deficit disorder (ADD) and/or a hyperactive personality can be impulsive, restless, and find it hard to focus. They can also have mood swings and jump from one thing to another. This can have the knock-on effect of them finding it difficult in several situations:

  • Following instructions
  • Focusing on schoolwork
  • Completing tasks
  • Being organized
  • Social interaction

But their behavior and reaction to situations are often stemming from the internal rather than the external – they’re not just ‘acting up,’ despite what others may think. And let’s face it, 2020 is shaping up to be a head-burner for the most level-headed of us, so you need to go easy on your little people! So what can we do to help them navigate this confusing world?

Here are my Top 5 Tips When it Comes to Coping With a Hyperactive Child

Find a constructive way to channel your child’s energy

Children need to be active, especially hyperactive ones, so find a way that incorporates burning off energy with something fun. Does your child like soccer, martial arts, to read, or is obsessed with a particular topic or animal? Whether you sign them up to a craft activity, afterschool sports club, or make your own games, there are many ways to keep them busy and engaged – and often while they’re still learning. Focusing on sensory and/or play-based activities helps boost their concentration, memory skills, and skill development.

Treat Your Child as an Equal

Ever heard that horrid expression, “Children should be seen and not heard?” It’s an old adage drawn from the Victorian era, and that’s precisely where it should remain! In the olden days, when the world was still black and white, some people thought that showering affection on their children could ‘spoil’ them – the same as holding a baby “too much.” We’ve moved on since then, and research shows quite the opposite. Nurturing and trusting, dependable relationships are imperative for optimal early brain development. In the early months of a child’s emotional development, learning and attachment are woven together. Studies show that when the skin is stimulated from being held, it fires up the right side of the brain, whereby the child learns to trust. It’s crucial for this to happen so that individuals can learn. You should never try and mute a hyperactive and headstrong child.

Routine, Routine, Routine

An army-type regimen of strict rules and regulations can be too stifling for a hyperactive child. But having a regular routine, and keeping everyone on the same page and helping your child feel safe and secure. It could be as simple as waking up, going to bed, brushing teeth and having meals at the same time every day, and/or tasking them with chores. Hyperactive kids like to know what is ‘happening next,’ and it can help prevent boredom.

Be Your Child’s Advocate

When your hyperactive child is diagnosed (or suspected), everyone in your life suddenly becomes an expert on ADD. Parents, in-laws, siblings, teachers, well-meaning friends, the person in the shop down the road… even the way the dog raises his eyebrow can have you wondering if he’s silently judging you! You know your child best, and know what will and won’t work. And with the help of those closest to you and professionals and teachers, you can formulate a plan and ongoing strategy. Don’t be afraid to tell people to back off (however you want to phrase it) when their ‘help’ is unwelcome and potentially damaging.

Don’t Let Your Child Get Overtired

Fatigue makes children ‘testy’ at the best of times, and parents! When your hyperactive child is exhausted or overtired, they can lose self-control. Research shows that ten to 15 percent of children with ADD have trouble getting to sleep, which is twice the rate of those who aren’t hyperactive. Sticking to regular rest and bedtimes can help combat this. If your child is tired (maybe from physical activity or mental stimulation), let your child sleep or have quiet time if required.

Manage Aggression

Sudden defiant and aggressive outbursts can be frequent with hyperactive children. Up to 40 percent of children with ADD are estimated to be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). This can result in a pattern of disruptive, angry, and violent behavior. This can also include disruptive behaviors towards authority figures, parents, caretakers, and your child’s peers. ODD tends to be most common in boys before puberty but is equally common in both genders afterward. Working with a guidance parenting coach and cognitive therapist can help you handle your child’s behavior. Remember too that a child whose needs for autonomy and self-direction are being trampled over will appear as though they have ODD. They don’t! They are in the 3R’s (retaliation, rebellion and resistance).

Use ‘Guidance Discipline’ Instead of ‘Traditional’ Discipline

Most children, not just hyperactive ones, respond better with guided discipline, i.e. non-authoritarian discipline. While this kind of discipline can be more time consuming, your child will feel like they’re being treated respectfully and listening to them. This keeps the lines of communication open and means your child will be more cooperative than combative. The key points with guidance discipline are to have a strategy, use positive guidance, and ensure it’s carried out in a nurturing environment. You also need to be mindful of how your child is likely to respond. Remember, how you treat your child is, ultimately, how they learn to manage themselves. For tips on how to use guidance discipline, read the blog I recently wrote about it here.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

It sounds simple, but with a hyperactive child, it’s essential to pick your battles. Losing your cool and shouting at a child suffering from ADD will only cause them to get more anxious and do more harm than good. Sick of always asking them to brush their teeth, put on their socks, shoes, tidy their room, etc? If they’re struggling with following these instructions, help them if you can. Make the activity fun, or offering a distraction or multiple choice can help, i.e, “Would you rather tidy up your room now or in an hour?” It’s also important to accept your child’s limitations but encourage their potential, and not compare them to siblings or peers, especially when it comes to their achievements.

Ask for Help

While everyone has tough days if it’s getting too much and struggling and feeling overwhelmed, reach out for help. You’re probably already getting advice from doctors and specialists. If not, make an appointment with one and keep searching until you find ‘the right fit.’ Don’t be afraid to lean on family and friends too.

You can also glean tips from a parenting coach or reconnect with your child by signing up for a course such as my Guidance Approach to Parenting, which begins September 28th, 2020.

If you enjoyed this blog, check out my blog post to identify if your child is suffering from anxiety. Click here now.

Categories
Growth Leadership Negotiations Networking Personal Development Skills Strategy

The Art of Networking – Bedros Keuilian’s Masterclass Video

Long John Silver’s is the #1 fast food seafood restaurant in the United States.

But, they’ve been struggling for decades. Long John Silver’s has lost over half their franchises since their peak.  Here’s why…

The Real Reason Long John Silver’s is Struggling:

The original premise for the chain sounded good, at least on paper. During a family, vacation, businessman and restaurateur, Jim Patterson had a flash of inspiration:

Bring the sunny seaside fish and chips eating beach experience from the coast, to families nationwide.

When the chain first started, Long John Silver’s made an effort to impart each location with a seafaring theme reminiscent of the company’s vacation-inspired roots.

The company’s heyday was a ten-year period from about 1979 to 1989, during which it grew from a footprint of one thousand units to an all-time high of 1,500 locations.

Watch the full story on this episode of Company Man.

WATCH:

 

Then a String of Devastating Decline in Market share…

The chain has been on a decline since at least 1989 when, in response to mounting debt, it first took its business private. In the three decades since, it’s been handed off from one unhappy owner to another.

They’ve also been plagued with bad marketing (often self-inflicted).

For example, in 2017 they’re marketing team posted a video of a hostage being beheaded with a swordfish in an attempt to “go viral”…

They were forced to issue an apology:

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On top of some marketing flops, probably the biggest failure is their lack of vision against the original mission to bring people into a coastal dinner experience.

 
Long John Silver's

You know that feeling you get when you have a craving for fried cod, but you also  want a root beer float and a chili dog? Apparently, not too many other could relate either…

In addition to loosing half their franchises since their height, they lost 300 locations over the last 5 years alone and another 60 during the 2020 COVID lockdowns.

While millions of Americans enjoy the convenience of fast food, it appears for Long John Silver’s target audience, they preferred the original quality experience and cheap burgers over fish sandwiches.

Categories
Body Language Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“ – Negotiation Insight

“Reading body language accurately has many advantages. Detecting hidden aggression is one of them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

 

“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“

 

One member of a negotiation team said to the other, that meeting became ruckus quickly. At first, I couldn’t tell if the other side’s leader was being passive-aggressive, or if he perceived our proposals to be inappropriate or repulsive. But then, I knew he was upset by the body language gestures he emitted. They pointed towards outright aggression. That’s when I knew things were about to get ugly. What body language signs did you observe that indicated he was about to become aggressive, was the question asked by the man’s associate.

When someone’s about to become aggressive, do you know what signs to note? It’s essential to be able to understand the nonverbal and body language signals that indicate imminent hostilities. Doing so will allow you the time to deflect or redirect such efforts. Continue, and you’ll discover five body language signals that foretell pending aggression.

Blustering:

“I’m going to put my foot so far up your rear that it’ll come out of your mouth.” “Yeah! And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re trying to put your foot up my rear?” Blustering occurs in many forms. When it’s verbal, it’s easy to see and understand. Because words are used to convey one’s sentiments, which decreases the misperception of one’s intent. But blustering also occurs through one’s body language. A person portrays it by puffing out their chest, extending the outreach of their arms on both sides, and even in the stance that slightly projects one foot slightly ahead of the other. In each instance, that person is positioning himself for the pending aggression that’s he’s considering. And, depending on how heated the environment, he may not be consciously aware of the behaviors he’s committing. And that’s why you should take note. By doing so, you’ll have the opportunity to temper his behavior before it reaches the point of uncontrollability.

Eyes:

Darting – When someone is agitated, and they begin quickly scanning the environment with their eyes, they’re in assessment mode. This gesture alone does not indicate pending aggression on this person’s behalf. But coupled with other signs such as flaring nostrils, protruding chin, and fist/hand flexing, darting eyes lends more credence to the probability that pending aggression is increasingly heightening.

Narrowing – When someone’s eye focus becomes narrow, they’re lending more emphasis on the subject of their attention. That means they’re blocking out other distractions to assess what they might do next to thwart the unpleasantness they’re experiencing. When you see someone narrowing their eyes on you, raise your awareness of their pending intent. They may be in the process of becoming aggressive.

Pupil Dilation – Pupil dilation is another silent display that someone exhibits when they get excited. Dilation can occur from the natural excitement one experiences from being in a pleasant environment too. But you can instinctively tell by someone’s demeanor if they’re happy or agitated. That’s also the insight to seek to determine if they’re becoming annoyed by an adverse action they perceive stemming from you.

 

Flaring Nostrils:

Nostril flaring is one of the most telling signs indicating pending aggression. A person flares their nostrils as a way to get more oxygen into their bloodstream. And in adverse situations, that can be the preparation leading to aggression. The more the person engages in that act, the more they’re preparing to become aggressive.

 

Chin/Jaw:

An outward thrust chin is a silent signal stating that the owner of the action is displaying his desire to take a portion of your space. Conversely, when people tuck their chin, they’re demonstrating the need to protect themselves. Thus, you should perceive the outward thrust of someone’s jaw as saying, I’m not afraid of you. If they take a step(s) towards you while displaying that gesture, they’re becoming more defiant and more aggressive. You can stand your ground or back up. If you hold your position, you’ll be stating with your action that you’re not afraid of them either  – now what? In either case, be aware of where tension resides and adopt the measure that’s best suited to combat it.

 

Hand/Fist:

Flexing – If you observe someone flexing their hand in a negative environment, it may be an indication that they’re attempting to loosen up to get more blood flowing to that part of their body.

Tightening – When someone becomes excessively exasperated, they stiffen their hands, which can turn into fists. Thus, while observing the beginning of someone’s hands flexing, note the moment when their hands turn into fists. A heightening in potential aggression has occurred at that moment. And the person may be a moment or so from lashing out at you.

 

Reflection:

Like a snake, you can observe the lynchpin behavior of someone that’s in the process of striking out at you. In the snake’s case, it emits signals through its rattle, warning you of pending danger. Then, if you don’t vacate the surroundings, he strikes you. The same is true of a human. Initially, he gives warning through his body language to get you to back off. And, if you’re persistent at making him feel uneasy, he’ll strike at you.

To avoid harm’s way, note the mentioned signs that lead to aggression. As soon as you sense a verbal or physical attack is imminent, become more observant about the pace of its escalation. And remove yourself from the environment if possible. If that’s not possible, adopt a posture that’s more or less threatening than what’s confronting you. And be aware of the effect this has on your nemesis. In some cases, it will cause him to increase his efforts. In other situations, it may be the form of de-escalation needed to subdue an explosive situation that’s in the making. Know the difference to determine the best action to adopt. Because the optimum word is control – and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#BodyLanguage #Aggression #vulnerable #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiationexamples #Negotiationstrategies #negotiationprocess #negotiationskillstraining #negotiationtypes #negotiationpsychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #TheMasterNegotiator #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Biography and History Body Language Management Negotiations Skills

WATCH: Former FBI Agent Explains How to Negotiate

Take it from former spy hunter, Joe Navarro,  when it comes to winning any negotiating, everything begins with preparation.

“I think the biggest mistake is thinking that the little things don’t matter,” Navarro says. “From the moment you walk in, how you greet the staff, being attentive to others in the smallest of ways. Being polite, shaking hands, being mindful not to elevate emotions. Simple things.” It perhaps boils down to realizing that, if a negotiation is important to you, the people on the other side of the table, and their perception of you, is important too.

Joe Navarron’s 4 Tips to Negotiation Prep:

  1. Have a Specific Objective
  2. How to Choose Your Words
  3. Think of the Audience
  4. How to Anticipate Their Next Move

This video breaks down Joe Navarron’s 4 tips to prepare before your next negotiation.

WATCH:

 

 Who The Heck is Joe Navarro?

Joe Navarro retired from the FBI after serving as an agent for 25 years. He has been studying nonverbal behavior for more than 45 years and is the author of 13 books, including “Be Exceptional: Master the 5 Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart,” “What Every Body Is SayingAn Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People” and “The Dictionary of Body Language: A Field Guide to Human Behavior.” Follow him on Twitter @navarrotells.

  

Navarron Spent a Lifetime Master the Art of Negotiation…

Joe Navarro moved to the US at age 8 with his family shortly after the Bay of Pigs Invasion in Cuba. He later was accepted as one of the youngest FBI agents where he spent 25 years in counterintelligence and counterterrorism.

Through his work he was able to study, refine and apply the science of nonverbal communications. His acumen in this field and his success as a spy-catcher, led Joe to begin training FBI agents and the intelligence community.

Retiring from the FBI in 2003, and meeting overwhelming demand for his notable insights into human behavior, Joe has dedicated himself to speaking and consulting with major corporations worldwide.

Today Joe is recognized as one of the world’s foremost authorities on negotiations.