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Category: Personal Development

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Health and Wellness Leadership Management

Rewiring Resilience: The Mental Fitness Every Leader Needs Now

The boardroom fell silent as the CFO delivered the quarterly numbers—revenue down 18%, two major clients lost, and supply chain disruptions mounting. Every eye turned to the CEO, waiting for panic, blame, or desperate pivoting. Instead, she took a measured breath and said, “This is exactly the kind of challenge that reveals who we really are. Let’s get to work.”

That moment illustrates what neuroscientists are discovering about exceptional leaders: their brains are literally wired differently for resilience. While most people’s prefrontal cortex—the brain’s executive center—becomes hijacked by stress, high-performing leaders have developed neural pathways that keep them centered, creative, and forward-thinking even in crisis.

The difference isn’t innate talent. It’s mental fitness.

The Neuroscience of Leadership Under Fire

Recent neuroimaging studies reveal that resilient leaders show significantly different brain activity patterns during high-stress situations. Their anterior cingulate cortex—the brain region responsible for emotional regulation—remains active while their amygdala (the fear center) stays relatively calm. This isn’t just about staying cool under pressure; it’s about maintaining access to higher-order thinking when everyone else is operating from panic.

Dr. Amy Arnsten’s research at Yale Medical School shows that even mild stress can impair the prefrontal cortex’s ability to make complex decisions, regulate emotions, and think strategically. For C-suite executives, this means that without intentional mental fitness practices, stress doesn’t just affect performance—it literally shuts down the cognitive abilities that leadership demands.

The most successful executives have learned to hack this neurological reality through what researchers call “cognitive reappraisal”—the ability to reframe stressful situations as challenges rather than threats. This isn’t positive thinking; it’s a trained neural response that keeps the executive brain online when others shut down.

The Daily Architecture of Mental Resilience

Mental fitness isn’t built in crisis, it’s built in the quiet moments before crisis hits. The most resilient leaders I’ve worked with share surprisingly similar daily practices that strengthen their neural resilience pathways:

The Morning Mind Reset Before checking emails or diving into decisions, resilient leaders create what neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Siegel calls “mental time-in.” This might be five minutes of focused breathing, reviewing personal values, or visualizing successful outcomes for the day’s challenges. The key is activating the prefrontal cortex before the reactive parts of the brain take over.

Stress Inoculation Training Navy SEALs use controlled stress exposure to build resilience, and smart executives apply the same principle. They deliberately put themselves in uncomfortable situations, difficult conversations, stretch goals, new learning challenges, to strengthen their stress response systems. The brain learns that stress is survivable and manageable.

The Evening Download High-performing leaders end their days by processing what happened rather than just moving on. This isn’t rumination; it’s active integration. They ask: What triggered stress today? How did I respond? What would I do differently? This reflection literally rewires neural pathways for better future responses.

Processing Pressure at the C-Level

C-suite stress is uniquely complex because it combines high stakes with high ambiguity. Unlike other roles where success metrics are clear, executives must make decisions with incomplete information while managing multiple stakeholder expectations. This creates what psychologists call “cognitive load”—the mental effort required to process complex, ambiguous information.

Resilient leaders have learned to manage this cognitive load through three key strategies:

Compartmentalization Without Avoidance They separate concerns into distinct categories: What needs immediate attention? What requires strategic thinking? What can be delegated or delayed? This isn’t about avoiding difficult issues, it’s about preventing everything from feeling equally urgent.

Uncertainty as Information Instead of viewing uncertainty as a problem to solve, mentally fit leaders treat it as data to incorporate. They ask: What does this uncertainty tell us about our assumptions? What options does it create? How can we position ourselves to benefit regardless of which scenario unfolds?

Collective Stress Processing The most effective executives don’t try to absorb all organizational stress personally. They create systems for their teams to process pressure collectively, turning stress into shared problem-solving energy rather than individual burden.

Building Your Mental Fitness Protocol

Mental fitness isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Each leader needs to develop personalized practices based on their stress triggers, cognitive strengths, and leadership context. Here’s a framework to build your own resilience protocol:

Assess Your Stress Signature Track your responses to pressure for two weeks. When do you feel most mentally sharp under stress? When do you tend to react rather than respond? What situations consistently trigger your fight-or-flight response? This data becomes the foundation for targeted mental fitness training.

Design Micro-Interventions Identify three 30-second practices you can use throughout the day to reset your mental state. This might be box breathing (4-4-4-4 count), a personal mantra, or a brief visualization. The key is practices that activate your prefrontal cortex and can be used anywhere.

Schedule Stress Testing Once monthly, deliberately engage with a challenging situation where the stakes are manageable. This might be a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, a presentation to unfamiliar audiences, or tackling a complex problem outside your expertise. Use these experiences to practice your stress response tools in real conditions.

Create Recovery Rituals High stress requires intentional recovery. Design specific practices for after intense periods, this might be physical exercise, creative activities, or simply time in nature. The goal is to help your nervous system return to baseline so you’re ready for the next challenge.

The Compound Effect of Mental Fitness

Here’s what most leaders miss: mental fitness isn’t just about handling crisis better. It’s about accessing higher levels of cognitive performance consistently. When your brain isn’t constantly managing stress hormones, you have more mental resources available for strategic thinking, creative problem-solving, and inspiring others.

Organizations led by mentally fit executives show measurably different outcomes. Their teams report higher psychological safety, their decisions demonstrate longer-term thinking, and their cultures are more adaptive to change. This isn’t correlation, it’s causation. The leader’s mental state literally shapes organizational performance.

In our current environment of constant change and uncertainty, mental fitness isn’t a nice-to-have, it’s the core competency that determines whether leaders thrive or merely survive. The executives who invest in their mental fitness today are building the neural infrastructure that will carry them through whatever challenges tomorrow brings.

The question isn’t whether you’ll face pressure as a leader. The question is: when pressure comes, will your brain be ready?

 

About the Author:

With over 25 years of experience in human resources and executive consulting, Shelley Majors helps C-suite leaders transform their organizations with confidence and clarity. She has guided executives through complex mergers, culture transformations, crisis responses, and workforce strategies across multiple industries. Shelley’s bold, practical approach to leadership development delivers real-world results for leaders who must perform under pressure.

Originally published on the C-Suite Network. Connect with me on LinkedIn to continue the conversation about executive mental fitness and leadership resilience.

Categories
Health and Wellness Leadership Management

Rewiring Resilience: The Mental Fitness Every Leader Needs Now

The boardroom fell silent as the CFO delivered the quarterly numbers—revenue down 18%, two major clients lost, and supply chain disruptions mounting. Every eye turned to the CEO, waiting for panic, blame, or desperate pivoting. Instead, she took a measured breath and said, “This is exactly the kind of challenge that reveals who we really are. Let’s get to work.”

That moment illustrates what neuroscientists are discovering about exceptional leaders: their brains are literally wired differently for resilience. While most people’s prefrontal cortex—the brain’s executive center—becomes hijacked by stress, high-performing leaders have developed neural pathways that keep them centered, creative, and forward-thinking even in crisis.

The difference isn’t innate talent. It’s mental fitness.

The Neuroscience of Leadership Under Fire

Recent neuroimaging studies reveal that resilient leaders show significantly different brain activity patterns during high-stress situations. Their anterior cingulate cortex—the brain region responsible for emotional regulation—remains active while their amygdala (the fear center) stays relatively calm. This isn’t just about staying cool under pressure; it’s about maintaining access to higher-order thinking when everyone else is operating from panic.

Dr. Amy Arnsten’s research at Yale Medical School shows that even mild stress can impair the prefrontal cortex’s ability to make complex decisions, regulate emotions, and think strategically. For C-suite executives, this means that without intentional mental fitness practices, stress doesn’t just affect performance—it literally shuts down the cognitive abilities that leadership demands.

The most successful executives have learned to hack this neurological reality through what researchers call “cognitive reappraisal”—the ability to reframe stressful situations as challenges rather than threats. This isn’t positive thinking; it’s a trained neural response that keeps the executive brain online when others shut down.

The Daily Architecture of Mental Resilience

Mental fitness isn’t built in crisis, it’s built in the quiet moments before crisis hits. The most resilient leaders I’ve worked with share surprisingly similar daily practices that strengthen their neural resilience pathways:

The Morning Mind Reset Before checking emails or diving into decisions, resilient leaders create what neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Siegel calls “mental time-in.” This might be five minutes of focused breathing, reviewing personal values, or visualizing successful outcomes for the day’s challenges. The key is activating the prefrontal cortex before the reactive parts of the brain take over.

Stress Inoculation Training Navy SEALs use controlled stress exposure to build resilience, and smart executives apply the same principle. They deliberately put themselves in uncomfortable situations, difficult conversations, stretch goals, new learning challenges, to strengthen their stress response systems. The brain learns that stress is survivable and manageable.

The Evening Download High-performing leaders end their days by processing what happened rather than just moving on. This isn’t rumination; it’s active integration. They ask: What triggered stress today? How did I respond? What would I do differently? This reflection literally rewires neural pathways for better future responses.

Processing Pressure at the C-Level

C-suite stress is uniquely complex because it combines high stakes with high ambiguity. Unlike other roles where success metrics are clear, executives must make decisions with incomplete information while managing multiple stakeholder expectations. This creates what psychologists call “cognitive load”—the mental effort required to process complex, ambiguous information.

Resilient leaders have learned to manage this cognitive load through three key strategies:

Compartmentalization Without Avoidance They separate concerns into distinct categories: What needs immediate attention? What requires strategic thinking? What can be delegated or delayed? This isn’t about avoiding difficult issues, it’s about preventing everything from feeling equally urgent.

Uncertainty as Information Instead of viewing uncertainty as a problem to solve, mentally fit leaders treat it as data to incorporate. They ask: What does this uncertainty tell us about our assumptions? What options does it create? How can we position ourselves to benefit regardless of which scenario unfolds?

Collective Stress Processing The most effective executives don’t try to absorb all organizational stress personally. They create systems for their teams to process pressure collectively, turning stress into shared problem-solving energy rather than individual burden.

Building Your Mental Fitness Protocol

Mental fitness isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Each leader needs to develop personalized practices based on their stress triggers, cognitive strengths, and leadership context. Here’s a framework to build your own resilience protocol:

Assess Your Stress Signature Track your responses to pressure for two weeks. When do you feel most mentally sharp under stress? When do you tend to react rather than respond? What situations consistently trigger your fight-or-flight response? This data becomes the foundation for targeted mental fitness training.

Design Micro-Interventions Identify three 30-second practices you can use throughout the day to reset your mental state. This might be box breathing (4-4-4-4 count), a personal mantra, or a brief visualization. The key is practices that activate your prefrontal cortex and can be used anywhere.

Schedule Stress Testing Once monthly, deliberately engage with a challenging situation where the stakes are manageable. This might be a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, a presentation to unfamiliar audiences, or tackling a complex problem outside your expertise. Use these experiences to practice your stress response tools in real conditions.

Create Recovery Rituals High stress requires intentional recovery. Design specific practices for after intense periods, this might be physical exercise, creative activities, or simply time in nature. The goal is to help your nervous system return to baseline so you’re ready for the next challenge.

The Compound Effect of Mental Fitness

Here’s what most leaders miss: mental fitness isn’t just about handling crisis better. It’s about accessing higher levels of cognitive performance consistently. When your brain isn’t constantly managing stress hormones, you have more mental resources available for strategic thinking, creative problem-solving, and inspiring others.

Organizations led by mentally fit executives show measurably different outcomes. Their teams report higher psychological safety, their decisions demonstrate longer-term thinking, and their cultures are more adaptive to change. This isn’t correlation, it’s causation. The leader’s mental state literally shapes organizational performance.

In our current environment of constant change and uncertainty, mental fitness isn’t a nice-to-have, it’s the core competency that determines whether leaders thrive or merely survive. The executives who invest in their mental fitness today are building the neural infrastructure that will carry them through whatever challenges tomorrow brings.

The question isn’t whether you’ll face pressure as a leader. The question is: when pressure comes, will your brain be ready?

Categories
Leadership Marketing Skills

Freedom to Be Found: Visibility Is the Leadership Skill No One Taught You

“You can’t make the impact you’re here to make if people can’t find you.” – Carol Kaemmerer

There’s something poetic about publishing this message near Independence Day, because visibility is a form of freedom.

When you’re visible, you’re no longer waiting for someone to notice you. You’re no longer tethered to past titles, buried in org charts, or playing small to stay safe. Visibility gives you the freedom to choose your next chapter — and be chosen for it.

And yet, I meet brilliant, capable, extraordinary executives every day who are functionally invisible. Not because they lack credentials, capacity, or character, but because their digital presence doesn’t reflect their excellence, or even hint at their aspirations.

They have a LinkedIn profile. Their name shows up when someone types it in.
But unless someone already knows exactly who they are, they’ll never be found.

Because here’s the reality:
LinkedIn is a search engine.
And like any search engine, it delivers results based on keywords, context, and completeness.

That means the executives who get found for high-level opportunities are the ones whose profiles tell a compelling story — one that reflects who they are, how they lead, and where they’re headed.

They’ve taken the time to move beyond a two-sentence About section and job-title-only Experience fields. They’ve layered in relevant keywords throughout. They’ve used every inch of LinkedIn’s digital real estate to offer clues to the algorithm and confidence to the human reader.

In short: they’ve made themselves discoverable.
And that’s when the magic happens.

Imagine this:

You’re working away in your office.
You receive a message on LinkedIn from someone you’ve never met, and they’re offering just the kind of opportunity you’ve been preparing for.
A board seat. A keynote. A fractional executive role.
A game-changer.

It feels serendipitous. But it’s not luck.
It’s visibility — working on your behalf.

If people can’t find you, they can’t follow you.
They can’t invite you to the table.
They can’t trust your expertise, call on your voice, or align you with opportunities that match your impact.

Visibility isn’t vanity.
Visibility is leadership.

When you show up strategically — with clarity, with presence, and with purpose — you don’t just build a stronger LinkedIn profile.
You build a platform.

A platform that supports your ideas, your influence, your career growth, and the legacy you’re shaping.

So this July, as we celebrate freedom, let’s also celebrate the professional freedom that comes from showing up as your full, visible, brilliant self.

Let’s make your brilliance impossible to ignore.

If you’re ready to be found for the opportunities you want, not just the ones that wander by, I invite you to schedule an Executive Impact Snapshot™ — a 1:1 strategy session designed to surface your brilliance and sharpen your presence. Schedule it here. 

Let’s make your brilliance impossible to ignore.

 

Categories
Advice Sales Training Strategy

The Importance of Being a Good Listener

Are you a good listener? A “real” good listener?

The fact is, most people have to train themselves to be good listeners. And it is not a simple process, because there are so many things that cause people to be bad listeners.

Are you a good listener? Perhaps distracting thoughts make your mind wander, or defensive thoughts cause you to try to find fault with what you’re being told. Perhaps you are only listening for the ammunition that you need to disprove the other person’s opinion, or to prove that they are wrong and you are right. When you are confronted with such blocks to good listening, it takes a concerted effort to become good at listening.

A good way to overcome those inhibitors is to be purposeful in your conversations by cultivating these practices and habits . . .

  • Think consciously about the conversations that you are having, while you are having them.
  • Engage people so you can fully understand the situation, problem or issue that they are discussing.
  • Recognize all the good ideas and opinions that people are expressing highlight them, and “pull them out” for further consideration. Look for those little nuggets of value, and strive to build the conversation around them. You can then dig deeper, build on good ideas, and make suggestions to make them even better.
  • Reflect on conversations when they are finished to determine how things could have gone better and differently.
  • Make changes during your next conversations and strive to continuously improve your listening and the overall quality of your communications.

When you do these things, it will result in better conversations, deeper relationships and better outcomes. So start looking for the little nuggets of high value during your conversations and use them to stay focused on positive results.

 

Categories
Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

The Importance of Integrity & Strong Values in Leadership

The Importance of Integrity & Strong Values in Leadership

I happened to spend an entire career in the private club sector of high-end hospitality. What began as a 14-year-old after-school job evolved into serving Presidents, Heads of State, Sheiks, Shahs, Senators, Foreign Ambassadors, and a despot or two on occasion. Not that I had much choice, as serving in the military as an Officer’s Club Manager (among other duties) meant that I served those who were present at whatever club or embassy event it required.

The first time I ever heard the infamous quote from the 1920s-50s comedian about not being a member of a club that would accept him made a lot of sense when considering some of my members. In my courier work (part of the same Air Force specialty code; club management, protocol office, or general’s aid), that least bothered me, as “shut up and drive” were some of my best days back then.

In the high-stakes game of leadership in any sector of business, whether for or not for profit, FBO, NGO, or a Benefit Foundation, it is integrity and solid values that are about as indispensable as a good punchline at a Marx Brothers dinner party. Leaders without a sturdy set of principles often find themselves tangled in a web of conflicting decisions and compromised integrity— much like a cat trying to navigate a room full of rocking chairs.

The Perils of Fluid Values

Some leaders approach values like a chameleon at a costume party, changing their principles to fit every situation and audience. This might seem like a clever strategy to keep everyone happy and avoid ruffling any feathers, but it usually leads to a lack of trust and respect faster than you can say “contradiction.” When values are as negotiable as the price of a used car, decision-making becomes a chaotic dance of confusion. Followers end up wondering where their leader stands—probably somewhere between “maybe” and “I’m not sure.”

 “These are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others” is a quote from one of the many quips uttered by Groucho Marx. The appeal of fluid values is their ability to make everyone feel included, like a buffet where everyone can find something they like. However, this approach turns leadership into a lukewarm soup of inconsistency. A leader who constantly shifts their principles sacrifices the stability and clarity that effective leadership demands. Without a clear set of values, leaders become like weathervanes in a hurricane, spinning wildly in every direction, often at the expense of ethical considerations. And after working in this world so long, I can attest to more than a few handfuls who are like dandelion wisps in an easterly breeze.

The Role of Strong Values in Decision-Making

On the flip side, leaders with strong, well-defined values are like sturdy lighthouses guiding ships through stormy seas. These leaders inspire confidence and loyalty because their followers know exactly what they stand for—no surprises, no guesswork. Strong values act as a guiding light, helping leaders navigate complex and challenging scenarios with integrity and consistency.

Not to go all serious on you, but take time to consider the following statement that well sums up how man and integrity should be one in the same:

 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
– Theodore Roosevelt, excerpt Citizenship in a Republic (1910)

 

 

Our man “Teddy” knew what it meant to say what you mean and mean what you say.

When faced with tough choices, leaders with a solid moral foundation can lean on their principles to find the right path. This clarity cuts through ambiguity like a hot knife through butter, fostering a sense of purpose and direction. Moreover, leaders who stick to their values, even when it’s as inconvenient as a pebble in your shoe, earn the respect and admiration of their followers. They demonstrate courage and authenticity—qualities that are as essential to leadership as a good joke is to Groucho Marx.

Integrity: The Cornerstone of Leadership

Integrity is without doubt the cornerstone of effective leadership—like the secret ingredient in a recipe for success. Nothing can substitute for it. It’s the quality that binds a leader’s actions to their values, ensuring they act with honesty and consistency. Leaders with integrity don’t waver in the face of adversity; they stand firm on their principles, providing a model of ethical behavior for others to follow.

Groucho’s witty observation points out a critical flaw in some leaders: the absence of a steadfast commitment to their values. Leaders who are willing to abandon their principles for convenience or approval lack the integrity needed to lead effectively. Integrity involves making tough decisions that may not always win a popularity contest but are rooted in a strong ethical foundation.

The Legacy of Values-Driven Leadership

 

Values-driven leadership leaves a legacy that extends beyond the immediate decisions of a leader. It shapes the culture and ethical framework of the entire organization. Leaders who prioritize integrity and strong values set a standard for others to emulate, creating an environment of trust, respect, and accountability.

Historical examples abound of leaders whose legacy is like a beacon for the world due to their unwavering commitment to their values. Figures like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr. are celebrated not only for their achievements but for the integrity and moral courage that defined their leadership. Their steadfast adherence to their principles, even in the face of immense challenges, serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of values in leadership.

Leadership without integrity and strong values is like a comedy act without punchlines—fundamentally flawed and lacking impact. While fluid values might seem appealing for their ability to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy, they ultimately lead to inconsistency and a lack of trust. True leadership requires a steadfast commitment to ethical principles, providing a clear and consistent guide for decision-making.

Leaders who embody integrity and strong values inspire confidence, foster trust, and create a lasting impact on their organizations and society. As Groucho Marx’s quip suggests, leaders must choose their principles wisely and stand by them, for it is through this unwavering commitment that they earn the respect and loyalty of their followers.

And remember, in the words of Groucho, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” Choose your principles and stick to them, because integrity is the club you definitely want to be a part of.

 

Categories
Best Practices Leadership Personal Development

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Executive Decision-Making

Strong leadership isn’t just defined by logic and strategy. At the highest levels of business, emotional intelligence (EQ) sets the great leaders apart from the merely competent. For executives making complex, high-stakes decisions, EQ influences how decisions are made, communicated, and received across an organization.

1. Self-Awareness Creates Clarity
Self-aware executives understand how their emotions influence their thinking and behavior. This level of insight allows leaders to recognize bias, control reactivity, and make clearer, more balanced decisions. Instead of reacting emotionally in tense situations, emotionally intelligent leaders pause, reflect, and respond with intention.

2. Empathy Builds Trust
Empathy is more than being nice, it’s a strategic leadership tool. Executives who can anticipate how decisions will affect employees, partners, and stakeholders are more likely to lead with compassion, foster loyalty, and reduce resistance to change. Empathetic leaders build bridges that data alone cannot.

3. Emotional Regulation Strengthens Decision-Making
Leadership is stressful. But how a leader handles pressure often determines the quality of decisions made. Emotionally intelligent executives are able to manage their emotions, avoid impulsive reactions, and remain composed under fire. This calm presence creates psychological safety and allows others to focus and perform under pressure.

4. Social Awareness Shapes Strategy
Great leaders read the room. They’re tuned in to unspoken dynamics, shifts in morale, and the emotional tone of the workplace. Socially aware executives can navigate conflict, resolve tension, and lead more effectively through periods of uncertainty.

5. Relationship Management Drives Performance
Emotional intelligence enhances a leader’s ability to influence, coach, and resolve conflict with integrity. Executives who excel in relationship management build stronger teams, foster accountability, and create a culture where people feel valued and motivated.

Why EQ Is a Must for Executives Today
In today’s workplace, employees want more than a paycheck, they want purpose, connection, and authenticity. Leaders who develop EQ are better positioned to meet these expectations while making decisions that align with both business goals and human needs.

How Boardwalk Can Help
At Boardwalk Human Resources Consulting, we work with executive teams to strengthen emotional intelligence as part of leadership development. Through coaching, workshops, and culture transformation programs, we help leaders gain the self-awareness and empathy needed to lead with impact. Because smart decisions don’t just come from the head, they’re guided by the heart.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

The Empathy Deficit: Negotiating Connection in a Polarized World

Have you ever felt like the world’s just… louder these days? Like everyone’s shouting, but no one’s really listening?

We’re living in polarized times. It’s not just political debates or social media arguments. It’s at family dinners. In boardrooms. Between friends. Even within ourselves. Lines get drawn. Opinions harden. And suddenly, connection starts to slip away—not because we disagree, but because we’ve forgotten how to disagree with grace.

In this climate, empathy has become a radical act. A form of resistance. A strategic superpower. And at its heart, a core tenet of The Art of Feminine Negotiation.

We’re Not Just Divided—We’re Disconnected

It’s easy to blame algorithms and politics, but the truth is more intimate. We’ve stopped being curious about each other. We’ve replaced conversation with confrontation, understanding with certainty, and vulnerability with performance.

This isn’t just happening in public spaces—it’s happening in our most personal ones, too. In our relationships. Our partnerships. Our communities. And it’s taking a toll.

The result? An empathy deficit. And like any deficit, it comes at a cost: trust erodes, opportunities are missed, and relationships fracture.

Empathy Isn’t Weakness—It’s Leverage

Let’s bust a myth right now: empathy isn’t about being nice or passive or avoiding conflict. It’s not about abandoning your beliefs to make someone else feel better.

Empathy is power. It’s what allows us to understand what’s truly driving someone’s behavior—not just what they’re saying, but what they need. And when we understand that, we can respond more effectively, more strategically, and with far greater impact.

That’s feminine negotiation in action. It’s not about domination. It’s about influence. Connection. Collaboration. Choosing to understand, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Listening to Understand (Not Just to Win)

One of the simplest—and most profound—shifts we can make is to start listening with the intention of understanding, not responding.

Most people listen with their rebuttal already loading. They’re not really in a conversation. They’re in a performance.

But what if we got curious instead? What if we asked questions like:

  • What’s really behind this reaction?
  • What are they afraid of losing?
  • What values are they trying to protect?

Those questions don’t make us weak. They make us wise.

Empathy with Boundaries Is Still Empathy

Now let’s be clear: empathy doesn’t mean tolerating toxicity. It doesn’t mean you have to stay in conversations that are abusive, demeaning, or unsafe.

You can have empathy and boundaries. You can say, “I see where you’re coming from—and I’m sure you prefer to treat people with dignity and respect, but I feel like we’re off track and maybe need to take a step back for now.”

Empathy without boundaries is martyrdom. But empathy with boundaries? That’s leadership. Feminine leadership at its finest.

Reclaiming Empathy as a Feminine Strength

In a culture that often rewards volume over values, choosing empathy is a rebellious act. It takes courage to listen when you’d rather shout. To soften when everything in you wants to armor up. To see the human being underneath the opposing opinion.

But this is exactly the kind of negotiation that changes the world.

It doesn’t always win headlines. It doesn’t always win arguments. But it builds trust. It opens hearts. It lays the groundwork for real, lasting change.

So, How Do We Start?

Here are a few small (but mighty) ways to start negotiating connection—especially when you disagree:

  • Truly listen with a view to understanding. Don’t simply wait for your turn to speak.
  • Pause before reacting. Ask yourself: What’s underneath their position?
  • Lead with curiosity. Replace judgment with genuine inquiry.
  • Use “I” statements. Reduce defensiveness and create space for vulnerability.
  • Speak from your values. Not just your volume.
  • Hold your center. Empathy doesn’t require you to lose yourself—it requires you to remember yourself.

Empathy is not a soft skill. It’s a powerful negotiation tool. And in these noisy, divided times, it might just be our most valuable currency.

Let’s be the ones who bring it back.

Categories
Culture Human Resources Leadership

The Secret to High Performance: Stop Managing the 5% and Start Trusting the 95%

Do you know the real secret to high performance? It’s not just systems; or strategies. It’s people. And few people understand this better than Sue Bingham, founder and principal at HPWP Group. With over 35 years of experience transforming workplaces, Sue is a ferocious disruptor though you might not guess that at first glance. But make no mistake: her work, her impact, and her mission are all about radical, people-first disruption.

 

I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Sue for this episode of C-Suite Success, and I was blown away by her clarity, courage, and compassion. Her insights don’t just change companies, they change lives. And the ripple effect of that impact is immeasurable.

 

Let’s begin with how Sue defines success. She shared something profound: sometimes, the best way to define success is by understanding what failure looks like.

 

Early in her career, Sue worked at an aerospace company in Southern California. As a young HR professional, she was tasked with the kind of work that makes your stomach churn — laying off engineers, enforcing senseless policies, and watching employees be treated with shocking disrespect. She described seeing long-term employees banned from the executive lobby so they wouldn’t “track in dirt,” and 200 people being laid off on a Friday while scaffolding was up to renovate the executive offices.

 

It was in those gut-wrenching moments that Sue made a decision: she would not be part of that system. She would be the force that changed it.

 

What she created through HPWP Group is a consulting approach that redefines leadership. It’s not about command and control, it’s about trust, empowerment, and accountability. Her approach is custom to each client, and the results speak for themselves: $1.2 million in reduced operating costs for a milling company. A 50 percent drop in absenteeism for a furniture manufacturer. Nearly half a million saved by building a leaner, more empowered warehouse team.

 

Sue co-authored Creating the High-Performance Workplace: It’s Not Complicated, and that title couldn’t be truer to her message. What she teaches isn’t complicated; it’s courageous. And it’s about making a conscious decision to see people differently.

 

As Sue shared, “Most people are good people.” That one simple belief — if practiced consistently — can transform everything. When leaders begin with positive assumptions, everything shifts. Instead of asking, “Why would they do that?” you ask, “What happened? How can I help?” That creates cultures of trust, not toxicity. Collaboration, not silos.

 

She told me, “Too many companies create all their rules for the 5% of employees who might take advantage and end up punishing the 95% who are there to do good work.” That’s not leadership, that’s fear-based management. And it’s the antithesis of high performance.

 

We also discussed the hardest lessons learned along the way. Sue shared a powerful story of working closely with a CEO over many years, someone who believed in the work and helped implement lasting changes. But over time, the relationship shifted. The CEO became the “smartest person in the room,” and Sue found herself no longer part of the conversation.

That’s a painful lesson so many of us learn: you can’t force transformation. You can only guide it. “I had to learn that I can’t control the outcome,” she said. “I need to know their version of success, not try to impose my own.”

 

That kind of wisdom only comes from experience—and heartbreak. But Sue carries it with such grace and humility. She never stopped caring about that leader, or the organization. In fact, she and her team still support the company today. It’s just a different kind of relationship—and sometimes, that’s okay. Sometimes people are in your life for a season, and the impact you made is enough.

 

As we continued our conversation, I asked her how she defines her brand of disruption and impact today. She didn’t hesitate: it’s about showing leaders that people are not problems to be managed. They are assets to be unleashed.

 

“If you create a place where people feel valued,” she said, “they will work so hard for you. You just have to believe in them.”

 

And that’s what makes Sue Bingham such an extraordinary force in the business world. She doesn’t just believe in people, she fights for them. She’s not afraid to challenge leaders, challenge norms, and challenge entire cultures to evolve. Not for the sake of change, but for the sake of people.

 

Because at the end of the day, that’s what success really looks like: people going home at the end of the day proud of what they’ve accomplished. Sharing that pride with their children. Raising a new generation that wants to contribute, not just clock in.

 

That’s the world Sue is building. And that’s the kind of disruption we need more of.

So, if you’re ready to create a high-performance workplace—one where people actually look forward to Mondays—then take a page from Sue’s book: start with trust. Lead with positive assumptions. And stop building systems for the 5 percent.

 

Have you ever experienced a workplace where leaders truly led with trust?

 

Watch the FULL interview on C-Suite TV. Or listen to the podcast on C-Suite Radio.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Negotiating Mother’s Day: Not a Hallmark Holiday

Let’s be honest—Mother’s Day isn’t a Hallmark holiday for everyone.

Sure, it’s meant to be a day of celebration—of soft embraces, flowers in bloom, and handwritten cards filled with gratitude. But for many, this day doesn’t feel like a celebration. It feels like a reckoning. A reminder. A wound.

Celebrating Mother’s Day without my own mom is still new to me. After years of watching her slip further and further away—first physically, then mentally, as dementia and Alzheimer’s slowly stole the woman I knew—her absence now feels both quiet and deafening. Even before she passed, I had already started grieving. Losing someone in fragments is its own kind of heartbreak.

I know I’m not alone in that. So many of us carry complicated relationships with the idea of motherhood—whether we’ve lost our mothers, never had the mother we needed, are navigating estrangement, have struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss, or are mothers ourselves, trying to live up to impossible standards while quietly wondering if we’re getting any of it right.

So how do we negotiate a day like this when it doesn’t match the script?

Honor Your Truth

The first and most important step? Allow yourself to feel what you actually feel—not what you think you should feel. Grief. Anger. Relief. Loneliness. Gratitude. All of it is valid. There’s no gold star for pretending everything’s fine. Give yourself permission to show up exactly as you are.

That might mean stepping away from social media for the day (or the weekend). It might mean skipping the family brunch or choosing not to send a card. You get to define what Mother’s Day looks like for you. That’s not selfish—it’s self-honoring.

Reframe the Day

If traditional Mother’s Day celebrations don’t resonate, reframe it. Instead of focusing solely on the mother you’ve lost—or the one you never had—consider expanding your definition of “mothering.” Maybe it’s a mentor who guided you when you needed it most. Maybe it’s a sister-friend who always shows up. Maybe it’s you. Yes, you—mothering yourself with tenderness and care in the way you may have longed for.

Try creating a new ritual: light a candle, write a letter, go for a solo walk, donate to a cause that uplifts women and girls. These simple acts can turn a painful day into a sacred one.

Set Boundaries with Grace

If your relationship with your mother—or your child—is strained, Mother’s Day can dredge up a lot of guilt and emotional landmines. Remember: it’s okay to draw boundaries. In fact, it’s necessary.

You don’t owe anyone your peace.

Set limits on the conversations you’re willing to have. Choose not to engage in forced rituals that leave you feeling depleted. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re doorways to self-respect and healing.

Make Space for Grief and Gratitude

Grief and gratitude are not opposites—they often sit side by side, holding hands. You can miss your mother deeply and still be thankful for what she gave you—or what you’ve learned in her absence. You can resent the pain and still celebrate the love. It’s not a contradiction. It’s what makes us beautifully human.

For me, I miss the sound of my mom’s voice. Her laugh. Her stubbornness. I miss the way she could sometimes read my mind it seemed. But I also hold onto the lessons she passed down—about strength, resilience, and speaking truth, even when it’s hard.

You’re Not Alone

If this day feels heavy, know this: you are not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not bitter. You’re just real. And real is something to be celebrated—especially in a world that so often expects us to gloss over the hard stuff in favor of shiny surface smiles.

So whatever Mother’s Day looks like for you this year—whether it’s joyful, painful, quiet, loud, or some tangled mix of all of the above—I invite you to negotiate it on your own terms. Make space for your truth. Show yourself radical compassion. And remember: there’s power in rewriting the script.

Categories
Books Growth Leadership

Confidence, Truth, and the Real Opposite of Love

When we talk about confidence in branding or in life, we often confuse it with bravado — loud declarations, polished messaging, or the illusion of certainty.

But confidence isn’t performance. Confidence is the byproduct of truth. And truth, at its core, is an act of self-love.

I dig into this in a chapter (in Selling the Truth) called, “A Lie is a Wish Your Heart Makes”:

“A lie is a wish your heart makes. It’s a wish that something were true, so you say it, but it isn’t. The lie may seem harmless or even helpful, but it grows.”

That’s the risk. A seemingly harmless lie to ourselves becomes the foundation for disconnection — from our voice, our values, and our audience. And without alignment, confidence crumbles.

When we’re grounded in what’s real, we stop performing. We start connecting.

That’s confidence. That’s brand. That’s love.

And I’m on a mission of Positronics.

In Isaac Asimov’s Robot series, positronic brains gave robots the ability to reason, evolve, and live by core ethical laws. These brains weren’t just about logic — they were about wiring in care, restraint, and purpose.

The secret to positronics, I contend, is self-love.Without it, our “logic” turns into defense mechanisms.

Because if we want a peaceful world, we have to stop abusing ourselves. “Hate” isn’t the opposite of love — that’s a myth. Hate is just fear externalized. Fear is a response to cruelty. Cruelty is a cycle of abuse. Abuse is rooted in fear. And on it goes.

So how do we break the cycle?

We stop lying to ourselves. We stop performing. We stop self-sabotaging in the name of success.

We sell the truth. To ourselves, first.

Then we go out and change the world with it.

YES! to purpose-driven bravery,

Hersh

👉 Selling the Truth: A ‘Semoir’ with Insights for Life & Business is available now at SellingTheTruthBook.com

To learn more about my work and this stuff, visit YESBRANDBuilders.com