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Tag: strategies to combat dealing with difficult people

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7 Characteristics of a Bully and Why You Should Care

“In order to deal with a bully, you must know what one looks like.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He will lie to your face, and not give a damn if you know he’s lying!” Those were the exasperated words of one member on the same negotiation team to another.

Do you know anyone that possesses the following 7 characteristics? If so, they just might be a bully.

When involved in #negotiations with someone that’s overly aggressive or someone that’s an outright bully, you should take note of the following characteristics to identify who he is.

1. Bullies tend to be egocentric. They have to be the center of attention in order to satisfy their need to appear superior to others. Thus, they will belittle, demean, and put others down to maintain the appearance of their superiority.

2. Observe a bully’s associates. Bullies tend to bring like-minded people that are weaker and like himself into his fold; he uses the former as foils in the plots he perpetrates against others. The caveat being, the bully needs to be the leader and will only allow those in his immediate sphere that will subjugate themselves to him. Therefore, be mindful of the fact that unknowingly you’re also negotiating with his minions when you’re negotiating with him.

3. Bullies alter facts to make them fit the situation. Doing so is his attempt to psychologically arrest the logical thought process of others, in an attempt to bend their outlook to his will and perspective. When negotiating with him, be selective about the points you choose to address and be mindful of the retorts you offer to refute him. Facts may be viewed as demonic objects that cause you to lose sway with him.

4. Loyalty between a bully and his associates is good as long as there are no threats in his camp. Once threats occur, loyalty loses its two-way appeal; the appeal is revealed as nothing more then a tool he employs to trick others into following him. He will throw supporters under the bus and find blame with them to account for his short-comings!

5. A bully seeks constant praise from others because that feeds his ego and his need for self-aggrandizement. It serves as validation that he’s superior to others. Therefore, seek ways to praise a bully in a negotiation. That will endear you to him. Just make sure not to fall into his attempts to pull you closer to his views than is necessary.

6. Bullies lie incessantly because their view has to be the predominant one. Thus, they attempt to alter the outlook of others to make others conform to their perspective. This action of the bully is very dangerous because one never really knows what to believe when a bully speaks.

7. The only way a bully can rise to his perch is to do so by keeping others under the spell that he casts. Once he loses any appeal that makes others bow to him, he can become more aggressive in his attempts to reacquire the power he’s lost. That’s when he’s most dangerous. During such times, he may engage in activities that are very far outside the realm of rationality.

Dealing with bullies is always a dicey proposition. Being oblivious to his characteristics can lead to a stressful negotiation, one in which you may lose before you realize what has occurred. If you use the 7 traits above to identify with whom you’re dealing, you’ll have an idea of what you’re up against. From there, you can be on guard as to how you engage him in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Use ‘Even-If’ to Win Hard Negotiations

“Even if you’re right about being wrong, you’re right. There’s power in the use of the ‘even-if’ proposition.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To what degree do you seek creative solutions when involved in hard-nosed negotiations? Such negotiations can be extremely demanding and fraught with stress. When coupled with someone that’s a hard-type negotiator (i.e. a negotiator that either has a zero-sum perspective of the negotiation or someone that thrives on being obstinate in a negotiation), you can find yourself making unplanned concessions if you’re not mindful of what you’re doing.

One way to employ a creative solution when involved in a hard negotiation, is to use the ‘even-if’ strategy. It can quicken the pace on the path to a successful negotiation outcome. While it can be a viable ploy for you, you need to also be watchful of it being used against you.

What is the ‘even-if’ strategy:

Stated succinctly, the even-if strategy allows its user to stealthily subordinate the other negotiator’s proposition to his. The strategy avoids potential conflicts that might occur if the other negotiator’s point was addressed prior to addressing yours. Thus, using this strategy successfully, allows you to put your point into the forefront of the discussion and it alters the flow of the negotiation.

How to use ‘even-if’:

The strategy can be used to make your point prior to addressing the other negotiator’s perspective. It’s done in the hopes that your point will dilute or alter his thought process. To use the strategy, you can say something akin to, “even if we could save $10 million by accepting your offer, at this time, we do not have that much money to invest. I suggest we look at a solution that may be closer to the $5 million threshold.” By doing this, as stated above, you’ve repositioned yourself and his offer by utilizing this strategy in this manner.

Best time to employ ‘even-if’:

Anytime you wish to subordinate the opposing negotiator’s point or request to yours, is a good time to employ this strategy. While this strategy can be used at any point in any negotiation, it’s even more powerful when used with someone that’s aggressive or someone that attempts to bully you. In that case, the strategy mollifies the bully. You’re not stating that he’s crazy or irrational for making such an outlandish request, you’re first acknowledging him from a respectful aspect and simply stating that you can’t meet his offer. In so doing, you potentially side-step any aggressive behavior that might stem from his otherwise abusive demeanor.

How to defend from ‘even-if’:

Since this strategy is used to put one proposition on the table for discussion ahead of another, you should be mindful of when the other negotiator attempts to use this strategy against you. The way to defend against it is to simply state, ‘Okay, let’s discuss your point next.’ You can use the tonality of your voice to position this as a request or a statement. Then, go right into the point that you wanted to discuss. A smart negotiator may not let you get away with your attempt to place your agenda ahead of his. Thus, you must be prepared to decide if you’ll acquiesce on one point to receive a concession on your request later. Therein lies another way you can use this strategy. If you get into a give-and-take as to whose point will be discussed first, you can present a point that’s nothing more than a red herring to be sacrificed for this purpose.

Even if (wink) you never use this strategy, knowing about it will make you a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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In Negotiations With A Bully Watch Your Hidden Thoughts

“A hidden thought can lead your thinking into a dead-end. Avoid dead-end thinking. Be alert when engaging your mind in its thought process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

In negotiations with a bully, you have to watch your hidden thoughts, or those thoughts will have you thinking wrong.

“You have to beat them like they’ve done something really bad. Whip them until their insides are mashed. Can you do that? Will you do that?”

After reading the above, what are your initial thoughts? What images came to mind? Were they the images of a tough guy giving an edict to his underlings, that they dare not disobey? Or, did you consider that something other then the questions posed was occurring?

The thoughts you had about the opening statements, and the images that came to your mind, where determined by what you’ve experienced in life and the outcomes of those experiences. That means, to a degree, your thoughts began to formulate as soon as you read the first few words of the statement. Then, your mind jumped ahead of what you were reading to assume where the unread words would take you. That’s good, and it’s dangerous. The good part stems from the way you assimilate information. The bad part stems from not monitoring your expectations before jumping to judgment.

The words at the opening of this article were spoken by a chef to one of the cooks in an establishment that both were employed. The chef was referring to the correct way to make an omelet. Thus, he was talking about beating and whipping eggs to obtain a certain degree of consistency to make omelets more palatable.

When negotiating with a bully, you must be more cognizant of the way you think. Your thought process will be altered, in the prefrontal cortex area of your brain, the brain region in which complex behavior – decision making – and the moderation of social behavior occurs. This part of your brain will become more active due to the bully’s demeanor. You may experience a higher degree of emotions stemming from the perception of a threat, be it implicit or explicit. Such an emotional state may cause you to disengage from your normal thought process, which could lead you into that dead-end mentioned at the top of this article.

To combat your hidden thoughts, take into consideration what the bully is saying versus what he’s doing. If there’s a disconnect between his words and his actions, pay more attention to his actions (e.g. he says he’s going to run you into the ground in this negotiation while backing away from you and/or smiling nervously). Having this insight and using it to calculate your next action will allow you to think more clearly. That will also allow you to uncover any hidden thoughts that might create a sense of being overly fearful of a negative occurrence being projected on to you.

Negotiating with a bully is always a challenging proposition, but that proposition can be lessened by thinking about the way you think. Heighten your sense of awareness when negotiating with a bully, by being aware of where your thought processes are leading your thoughts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Watch Emotional Abuse When Negotiating With A Bully

“Emotional abuse only occurs when you allow the abuser to control you. To defeat him, control his abusive efforts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When negotiating with a bully, watch the emotional abuse you incur and mind your responses to it.

Bullies make some people experience an array of feelings in a negotiation. They do so for the pleasure of feeling superior to the other negotiator in an effort to exert their dominance. The emotional feelings they attempt to invoke can range from fear to hate to happiness. Yes, bullies can make you feel happy as the result of relinquishing the pressure they’ve applied to you. That’s another reason why you should monitor your emotions. You want to check them so you can display the proper response, based on your position in the negotiation at particular points. When it comes to watching your emotions take note of the following.

Fear:

Fear can invoke primal actions within you. When fearful, your normal thought process shuts down. Depending on the degree of fear you experience, your body prepares for a fight, flight, or freeze scenario. That deliberation can cause you to be thrown off your negotiation game (i.e. forget the negotiation strategies you’d planned to implement).

When you sense that you’re experiencing fear in a negotiation, note its cause. Consider to what degree its source will devastate you and your future position. The point is, diminish your thoughts of fear by contemplating how you can assuage it before continuing the negotiation, and recognize when it has you in its grips.

Anger:

Anger is another stealer of normal thoughts. It can be stoked by fear, which is also the reason you should control your perspective of fear and ager.

When angered, you can lose your perspective and rationalization. Thus, to negotiate from a mindset of anger will not serve you, it serves the other negotiator, instead.

Therefore, be aware of when the other negotiator is intentionally attempting to gouge you by instilling fear into the negotiation. Also, be mindful of what his attempts might look like before entering the negotiation. This can be accomplished by role-playing ahead of time. Just be mindful of elucidating your mind to how fear might be used against you, and be prepared to thwart such efforts.

Happiness:

Most people seek happiness as a constant state of mind. Our body seeks it too. Thus, when we’re not in a state of happiness, our mind will attempt to guide our actions back towards that state. It will also do ‘things’ to stay in that state, even if those ‘things’ are to our future detriment. It’s because of the latter that you should be hyper-vigilant when you’re in a state of happiness that’s been caused by a bully’s actions. You may not be off the hook. Instead, you may have been unknowingly placed deeper onto one.

To combat a bully’s effort to mentally manipulate you through the use of happiness, understand his motives for doing so. If his efforts don’t serve you, don’t appease him by succumbing to this tactic. Remain stern.

Anyone’s emotions can be strained when negotiating with a bully. Suffice it to say, you should stay on top of your emotions when negotiating with a bully more so than with other types of negotiators. Bullies can invoke extreme passion within you, which is why it’s so important to be mindful. If you’re aware of what can ‘set you off’, and not allow it to cloud your actions or judgment under such circumstances, you’ll be able to think clearer and negotiate better. That alone will give the bully cause for doubt, which means you’ll be turning his tactics against him. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Uncover Hidden Secrets In Negotiations

“Secrets are cloaked in darkness until they’re exposed by light. When suspension falls on hidden secrets, let the light shine brightly.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Don’t let what you know cause you to miss what you don’t know!” Those were the words of one negotiation partner to another, after they’d concluded a negotiation that appeared to be clouded by the doubt that there may have been hidden secrets burrowed in the words of their negotiation counterpart.

Upon reflection, the speaker of those words realized that there had been signals that he’d misperceived. He wondered about those signals as he pondered to what degree they might have covered hidden secrets.

In your negotiations, how much do you miss, due to what you think you already know? There are encoded messages within the words we use to communicate. Some contain hidden messages that carry hidden thoughts.

Note the following to gain more insight into the hidden secrets in the messages sent and received in your negotiations.

1. Take note when the real meaning of a word doesn’t carry the intent of the meaning you think it’s attempting to convey. That’s to say, note when you suspect that there may be an unspoken meaning of the word(s). You’ll experience a sensation of intuition when that occurs; take heed of this phenomenon when it happens. It will be your alert signal beckoning your attention.

  • They’ll be times when you sense there’s an implied meaning that’s not conveyed in the delivery of the words spoken. When you have such a sensation, be attentive to what you sensed that drew your attention to the feeling of suspect that you have. Uncovering that hidden meaning will allow you to uncover hidden secrets that the other negotiator may be attempting to conceal.

2. When people speak of themselves in the third person, become more attentive. They’re distancing themselves from their words.

  • When negotiating, you should always be attentive to everything that’s occurring in your environment. When it comes to someone speaking in the third person, you should become more attentive. Psychologically, he’s placing distance between himself and his words. He may be doing so due to his nervousness, his desire to protect something that you’ve gotten close to uncovering, or from sensing that he may have disclosed something about his statement that’s untrue. Regardless, his action was more than likely brought on by some action the two of you were engaged in. If you sense such is the case, pursue the line of interaction that put him in his third person state of mind. There’ll be something of interest there that may benefit you in the negotiation.

3. Compare your assumptions of what you thought would occur prior to the negotiation, to what actually occurred in the negotiation.

  • Engaging in a mental reflection process at the conclusion of a negotiation will allow you greater insights, per the way you were thinking prior to the negotiation. Your post insights will allow you to sharpen your perception about the perspective occurrences of future negotiations. That, in turn, will allow you to uncover hidden thoughts about the way you think. Knowing that, should allow you to become more circumspective as you engage in future negotiation.

There will always be some form of secrecy in any negotiation. If you possess a heightened sense of awareness when perceiving suspected hidden meanings, your reward will be in the uncovering of those secrets. That will be an insight that you can use to benefit your negotiation position … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Don’t Fall Prey To The First Enemy Of Uncertainty

“When it comes to uncertainty, it’s okay to pray about the direction to take. Just be sure not to fall prey to the uncertainty of that direction. Know when to follow and know when to lead.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

As he walked past an unseen man lying on the ground that he could not see, he heard someone exclaim, “he looks like he’s dying!” He thought to himself, “I’m uncertain of what to do. Others seem to be handling this. I’m not going to get involved.” He later discovered that unseen man was his father.

Are you aware of when you fall prey to the first enemy of uncertainty in a negotiation (You’re always negotiating)? Do you know what that is? The first enemy of uncertainty in a negotiation is the emotions, actions, and reactions you engage in, based on what those around you are doing or do. The opening statement highlights that point. The first enemy of uncertainty is doubt.

When you’re in an environment and you’re not sure of what to do, you seek direction from others in the environment; you may do this in a quiet mindset to assuage your mind of the lack of direction it’s offering you. Your uncertainty is the driver that’s not sure of where to go, so you seek the opinions and insights of others to direct you. Thus, by observing their actions or reactions, you gain a sense of what you might do.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with following the lead of the other negotiator; you can obtain great insights from doing so. The challenge lies in when you should lead from the front, lead from behind, or allow him to lead. If you’re in a leadership position up to that point, relinquishing the lead may seem or feel tenuous. You may even feel that your lack of direction is splayed for all to see, which might call your perceived leadership into question. If such is the case, realize that uncertainty has crept into your mind. The way you deal with it will determine the direction you take in the negotiation.  Don’t be mentally constrained by such a thought. Here are a few things to be aware of.

  1. You’re more likely to be influenced into some form of action based on where you see yourself in relation to the other negotiator (i.e. superior, in a controlling position, inferior, etc.)

 

  1. Based on what’s occurred prior to the point of uncertainty, you may be more or less circumspective. Be aware of this because it too will impact your perception and the actions you engage in.

 

  1. While you’re in a stage of mental siege, take note of what the other negotiator is doing. In particular, note the degree that he studies your actions. If he cues off of your actions, he may be wondering about your position or to what degree you’re contemplating his. If you sense the latter, don’t relieve him of his quandary. You can use that time to think about your next move.

Here’s the point. When you’re in a negotiation, at the first sign of uncertainty, stop and think. Don’t be mentally belabored by the perception of pending doom, or the fear of looking stupid. When it comes to uncertainty, we seek the leadership of others to lead us, or we can call upon our prior actions for that purpose. To combat uncertainty, know which source to choose.

When you heighten your sense of awareness about uncertainty, you’ll have greater insight into how to control it. Controlling it will be the key that unlocks the blockade where uncertainty lurks. That will allow you to banish the enemy of uncertainty, which is doubt … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Enemy #Uncertainty #Negotiation #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Know When To Trust The Truth?

“The truth is the opposite of a lie that’s believable. Watch what you believe!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“You don’t know what the truth looks like, even though I’ve recited it numerous times to you through my ever-changing story.”

What does the truth feel like, sound like, look like, when you feel it, hear it, see it? How do you determine to what degree the truth has been told? The truth can be fluid. That means, we know what the truth is today, based on what we’ve known to be truthful in the past. Then, as greater insight, discoveries, and other machinations are introduced into our environment, a new truth can emerge.

It’s important to understand how you discern what you perceive to be the truth because others can manipulate you, based on what they know of your ability to distinguish between fact from fiction.

To become more cognizant as to when someone might be engaging in the truth, versus having no relationship with it at all, take note of the following insights.

Demeanor – Yours and Theirs:

Always note the demeanor of someone when they engage with you. In particular, note to what degree they feel at ease, uptight, or normal (whatever that is as it relates to their demeanor); you can observe this by noting how they act/respond in un-stressful environments. The non-stressful environment will become the basis from which to make and compare future assessments. You should also be mindful of how you feel as the result of being with the person that’s speaking to you. Your demeanor will put you into a particular mindset that sets your perception and expectations about that person’s ability to tell the truth.

Intuitiveness:

When it comes to truthfulness versus deception, you know more than you think you do. When was the last time you had a ‘feeling’ about whether someone was telling you the truth? What did you experience? Was it something they said, the way they said it, or maybe the way they looked when they said/did it. When you had that sensation, your intuitiveness had kicked in; something triggered it. If you were aware through which senses you perceived such signals, you can use the same sense(s) to heighten your awareness in the future. Never discount a gut feeling. That’s your subconscious mind beckoning your attention.

Story In Order:

When people lie, they tend to fill their story with detail and they’ll attempt to tell their story in a chronological order. To catch such a perpetrator, take one aspect of his story and slightly change it as you recite it back to him; don’t let on that you’re doing so to see if he corrects you, or agrees to your version of his story. If he doesn’t correct you, do the same with another section of his story to see what he does. If he lets that one go too, feign forgetfulness and ask him to repeat the story. Note to what degree the story changes from the original version. To the degree that it does, you’ll know where the lie lies.

Body Language:

When someone is being truthful, their body language is aligned with their words (i.e. hand and eye movements are synched with words). If you note subtle changes in their demeanor, as they profess to tell you the truth, note the question you posed that caused such a reaction. The question you posed, and their reaction to it, will be a guidepost that indicates the degree that you may be uncovering their lack of truthfulness.

There are many reasons why someone may wish to avoid being 100% truthful with you. If you set the ‘right’ environment, observe the storyteller’s body language, and you’re mindful of this person’s demeanor you’ll create the space in which more of the truth can reside … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Trust #Truth #Negotiation #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #detectingLies  #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #HowToHandleObjections

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Is The Color Of Money In Your Negotiations?

“All that glitters may not be gold, but if you know where value resides and how to extract it, you can turn any color into green (i.e. money/opportunity).” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I’m a grown man and I don’t want my bedroom painted pink!”

Those were the words of an exasperated man exclaiming his displeasure to a movie scout, that wanted to paint the man’s bedroom a color that the man didn’t think was manly. The scout had very excitedly told the man how perfect his house was for a scene that had to be shot within a few days for a movie with a big budget. The scout had also let on that the movie company didn’t have a lot of time to investigate other properties. The more the scout talked, the more he placed his negotiation position in jeopardy.

In reality, when the man was stating his displeasure with the color of the room, he did so as a setup to extract more money from the movie scout.

What ploys do you employ to enhance your negotiation position? Do you know what the color of money is (opportunities) in your negotiations?

The following insights will allow you to quickly identify hidden opportunities in your negotiations.

1. When the other negotiator constantly talks, let him. The more he talks the better off you’ll be. He’ll divulge information and insights that you’ll be able to use in the negotiation.

2. Before your negotiation, consider what points of leverage you can obtain, simply by placing a strategic objection at the appropriate time. Opportunities occur in every negotiation, but they’ll be missed if you don’t know what to look for. Plus, if you plan for them, you’ll be more mindful of how you can promote them to

3. To be even more effective, consider the rebuttals that might be offered to your objections. Then, think of the body language you’ll exhibit to assist in your ruse. As an example, you can display disgust by curling one corner of your lip. Even if the other negotiator is not aware at a conscious level of what that means, he’ll sense it at a subconscious level. Depending on his overall demeanor and the timing of the display, he may adopt a mercurial nature that states, you can go faster, or that it’s time to slow down. Be aware of which one it is. Nevertheless, when body language and words are synchronized, your words have a more powerful impact on you.

4. Know when to forge forward with a request and know when to ease up. Such direction can be gleaned from the reaction of the person you’re negotiating with, based on the body language and words they use to respond. As an example, if you receive several concessions as the result of your ploys, you might consider giving in to a hard and strident pushback you receive. The theory is, let him win sometimes, so he’ll grant you more concessions.

5. Always be mindful of your emotions. The more you keep your emotions in check, the greater control you’ll have over them, and the other negotiator.

In the opening situation, I described how a man used the color pink to obtain more green (i.e. money). If you’re observant of situations that offer you the opportunity to enhance your negotiation position, you too can gain more from every negotiation you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#moneyMatters #RecognizingValue #HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #HowToHandleObjections

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Negotiations – How Not To Be Cowered By A Bully

“A bully is someone that attempts to pain you, to relieve the pain in himself.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“That was a stupid question!”

Those were the words uttered by someone who considered himself to be superior to the person that posed the question. Such a response can also be the positioning attempts of a bully.

When negotiating, you need to know how not to be cowered by a bully. Doing so will allow you to negotiate more effectively, maintain a more peaceful state of mind, and reduce the overall level of stress you might possess at the negotiation table.

This article discloses insights that will allow you to be better prepared to deal with a bully in your negotiations. It can also serve as a booster for your degree of confidence when dealing with such a person.

Know when someone is truly attempting to bully you.

As I’ve stated in other articles that I’ve written, before assuming someone is attempting to bully you, be sure your assumptions are accurate. This can be accomplished by asking outright if the other negotiator is trying to bully you and/or stating that you feel bullied; the choice you adopt will be dependent on the type of person you’re engaged with. In the case of someone that’s just aggressive, and not a bully, if you state that you’re feeling bullied and say so with a smile on your face, that may alert him that he needs to become subdued.

Understand the thought process behind a bully’s effort to bully you.

You also need to understand what a bully thinks of you. Ask yourself, does he perceive me to be an easy target, someone that will back down at the first sign of aggression, or is he testing me to see how I’ll react? Having this insight will reveal the options you might utilize to combat his efforts. You should have gathered information about the bullying efforts that he’s used in other situations, which means you should be prepared for how he might negotiate with you. But, in case you haven’t, be nimble enough to have strategies at the ready, to deter his bullying attempts.

Consider his source of leverage/power.

Power is fluid. That means it changes from moment to moment. If you understand the source of his power, if you can’t attack him, you can attack it. This is done by letting that source know that it will have a price to pay, as the result of the bullying activities of its associate. Knowing his sources of power will also allow you to gain leverage by simply mentioning the fact that you’re aware of who his ‘backers’ are.

In a negotiation, a bully is as strong as he and you agree he is. Thus, to the degree that either perspective is altered, so is the perspective of the bully’s power. Therefore, if you know you’ll be in an environment in which someone may attempt to bully you, especially if they’ve displayed such tendencies in the past, be prepared with retorts stating, “you don’t want to try that with me. I bite back!” Just be mindful of not escalating a situation passed a point that you can’t control. Such rebukes will allay the bully’s perspective and thoughts about picking on you, which means, he’ll more than likely engage with you in a more respectful manner … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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How To Address Objections In A Negotiation

“Objections are used in an attempt to see what one can obtain. Before addressing objections know what you want and what you’re willing to forgo to acquire what you need.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

I’ve addressed hundreds of thousands of objections over the course of my negotiation career. Objections should be addressed with the mindset of information gathered about the party with whom you’re negotiating; that includes silent partners that are not at the negotiation table, foils that might be aligned with your negotiation opponent to perform nefarious functions, the demeanor of the negotiator(s), and the culture of the negotiator’s organization. Such insights, along with reading one’s body language, will lend credence to the validity and viability of the person making objections during a negotiation. That, in turn, will allow you to discern how important an objection is, versus it being a possible ploy, created to distract you from something that is more beneficial to your position.

Handling Objections:

Before addressing objections, always be aware of the attempts of others on the opposing negotiator’s team to hype them; remember, these attempts could stem from people that are not at the negotiation table. Hyping objections can be in the form of giving them the appearance of being more valuable or dire than they are, for the purpose of gaining insight into how you might react to such attempts. Keeping that in mind, follow the steps below when addressing objections in your negotiations.

1. When the first objection is posed, assess its veracity to determine if you should address it at all. If the other negotiator insists upon having it addressed, note his body language before proceeding to the next step. In particular, you should observe if he looks directly at you with a smile or scowl, if he looks through you as though he’s in a daze, or if he makes such a request in a timid manner. In all such cases, appraise the degree to which any of these gestures might be ploys.

a.) Looking directly at you is a sign that he’s focused. A smile can indicate that he wants to convey a friendly/casual perspective. A scowl may be an indication of a more serious projection and/or one to set the stage to take his request more seriously.

b.) Looking through you in a daze could imply that his mind is somewhere else and the fact that he’s testing you as a ploy.

c.) Making the request in a timid manner could belie the fact that he doesn’t possess a strong demeanor. He might also be examining you to see if you’ll attempt to take advantage of his docile demeanor.

2. Ask the other negotiator to cite all of his objections. Your goal is to get them out in the open. Do this by requesting what else he’s concerned about. If warranted, have him detail why he thinks his objections are valid. Observe hidden insights gleaned from his body language and nonverbal signals, as mentioned in step 1. By doing this, you’ll gain a sense of direction he has for the negotiation.

3. Once you’ve garnered enough insights about the purpose and value he has for citing his objections, have him prioritize them. Then, address one that’s lower on his priority list to see if that has more weight than disclosed. Couple this tactic with the outcome you seek for the negotiation. Continue this process to the successful conclusion of the negotiation.

In any negotiation, you should know what you’re dealing with before you attempt to deal with it. Such is the case when dealing with objections. Thus, by implementing the suggestions above, you’ll be better positioned to keep in check those objections intended to dissuade your attention from what’s more important. That, in turn, will allow you to be more laser focused on addressing the real objections that will impact the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #hardpower #HowToHandleObjections