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Growth Health and Wellness

Betrayal-What it Is, What it Does

How do you heal when a friend shares your most intimate secrets with the outside world? How do you get beyond losing a promotion after being stabbed in the back by a co-worker? How do you make something positive out of a partner or spouse cheating on you?

The pain of being stabbed in the back or worse yet, the heart, is very real and multi-dimensional. It impacts us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Every relationship has rules- both spoken and unspoken. Over time, we come to believe that if we play by those rules, we will be safe, happy, and fulfilled.

When someone betrays us, they break those rules and it impacts us on every level.

The impact of betrayal is not only real and multifaceted but also ranges in intensity based on how close you are to your betrayer. The more you trusted and depended on the person who betrayed you, the more intense the effects. For example, let’s take a child who is betrayed by a parent and your coworker who took the credit for your idea. Both are betrayals but there’s a different level of cleanup left in the wake of each experience.

In fact, there’s a collection of symptoms (physical, mental and emotional) so common to betrayal it’s become known as Post Betrayal Syndrome.

People who have been betrayed can suffer from a wide range of emotional symptoms such as sadness, anger, stress, rejection, fear, irritability, depression, and abandonment. They can also suffer from physical and mental ailments as well. In my Ph.D. study on betrayal, I studied what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us physically, mentally, and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. A staggering percentage were found to suffer from low energy, extreme fatigue/exhaustion, digestive issues, weight issues, and more. Add to that how common it is to also feel overwhelmed, shocked, unable to focus and concentrate. [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32023″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”] According to the study, betrayal also shatters our worldview. That’s our mental model, the rules that govern us and prevent chaos. This is where the shock of the experience hits us hard. The rules we’ve believed in and counted on have all been broken. The bottom has just bottomed out on us and a new foundation hasn’t been formed yet-it can feel terrifying.

Healing from betrayal can be scary and messy, which is why some people continue to stay stuck. The good news is that moving forward is not only possible, it’s predictable with the right strategies. You can not only rebuild your worldview, you can do it in a way to become your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual best. That’s the silver lining of the dark betrayal cloud. You can come out of it stronger, wiser, healthier, and more empowered than ever before and yes, you can learn to trust again.

When you heal, mentally, you’ll be able to focus on what you choose to pay attention to. Physically, you’ll feel more energetic, healthier, and stronger. Emotionally, you’ll be calmer, centered, and confident. Spiritually, you’ll find the gift in the experience. What had become your life’s story will become a pivotal chapter in your next story. This isn’t just a hopeful idea. It’s predictable when you move through The Five Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough. You’ve been through the worst of it already, you owe it to yourself to do something good with something so painful. When you do, that’s trauma well served. That’s Post Betrayal Transformation.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32020″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”]

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness

Betrayal-What it Is, What it Does

How do you heal when a friend shares your most intimate secrets with the outside world? How do you get beyond losing a promotion after being stabbed in the back by a co-worker? How do you make something positive out of a partner or spouse cheating on you?

The pain of being stabbed in the back or worse yet, the heart, is very real and multi-dimensional. It impacts us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Every relationship has rules- both spoken and unspoken. Over time, we come to believe that if we play by those rules, we will be safe, happy, and fulfilled.

When someone betrays us, they break those rules and it impacts us on every level.

The impact of betrayal is not only real and multifaceted but also ranges in intensity based on how close you are to your betrayer. The more you trusted and depended on the person who betrayed you, the more intense the effects. For example, let’s take a child who is betrayed by a parent and your coworker who took the credit for your idea. Both are betrayals but there’s a different level of cleanup left in the wake of each experience.

In fact, there’s a collection of symptoms (physical, mental and emotional) so common to betrayal it’s become known as Post Betrayal Syndrome.

People who have been betrayed can suffer from a wide range of emotional symptoms such as sadness, anger, stress, rejection, fear, irritability, depression, and abandonment. They can also suffer from physical and mental ailments as well. In my Ph.D. study on betrayal, I studied what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us physically, mentally, and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. A staggering percentage were found to suffer from low energy, extreme fatigue/exhaustion, digestive issues, weight issues, and more. Add to that how common it is to also feel overwhelmed, shocked, unable to focus and concentrate. [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32023″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”] According to the study, betrayal also shatters our worldview. That’s our mental model, the rules that govern us and prevent chaos. This is where the shock of the experience hits us hard. The rules we’ve believed in and counted on have all been broken. The bottom has just bottomed out on us and a new foundation hasn’t been formed yet-it can feel terrifying.

Healing from betrayal can be scary and messy, which is why some people continue to stay stuck. The good news is that moving forward is not only possible, it’s predictable with the right strategies. You can not only rebuild your worldview, you can do it in a way to become your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual best. That’s the silver lining of the dark betrayal cloud. You can come out of it stronger, wiser, healthier, and more empowered than ever before and yes, you can learn to trust again.

When you heal, mentally, you’ll be able to focus on what you choose to pay attention to. Physically, you’ll feel more energetic, healthier, and stronger. Emotionally, you’ll be calmer, centered, and confident. Spiritually, you’ll find the gift in the experience. What had become your life’s story will become a pivotal chapter in your next story. This isn’t just a hopeful idea. It’s predictable when you move through The Five Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough. You’ve been through the worst of it already, you owe it to yourself to do something good with something so painful. When you do, that’s trauma well served. That’s Post Betrayal Transformation.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32020″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fexecutive-membership|||”]

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Leadership Marketing Personal Development Sales

5 Sales Strategies Not Found in How-To Books

As a salesperson, you’re trained to ask customers what they want in terms of your product offerings. That’s wise advice but it’s incomplete. If you only ask customers what they want and then give it to them, you’re missing the biggest opportunity that has ever come in front of you – the chance to sell innovation.

Technology allows us to do things that were once thought impossible. While it is important for salespeople to ask customers what they want and then deliver on it, all that will do is keep you in the game – not ahead of it.

Chances are your competitors are asking customers the same questions, they’re getting the same answers, and they’re providing the same solutions.

So how do you break through to the next level of sales and become an anticipatory salesperson? Below are six strategies you won’t find in most how-to sales books.

1. Follow the Golden Rule of Sales

The Golden Rule of Sales is to give people the ability to do something they currently can’t do but would want to do if they knew it was possible. In other words, the Golden Rule is to help your customers be anticipatory. It’s called the Golden Rule because it’s much more profitable than simply giving clients what they ask for.

The key is that you have to look a little bit further into your customers’ predictable needs based on where they’re going. Only then you can see unmet needs and new opportunities.

2. Get Comfortable Around Technology  

One stumbling block in selling technology can be that the end user is awkward with new types of technology and related products. But another stumbling block could be that you, as the salesperson, are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the tech-driven solution you could be selling.

This is where the value of a time travel audit, one of the core components of my Anticipatory Organization Model, can prove essential.

3. Practice Anticipatory Selling

Anticipatory selling offers enormous opportunity for those who recognize that the very nature of sales is shifting and, further, that there are strategies to leverage that change.

One key strategy of anticipatory selling boils down to something I call a pre-mortem. Unlike a postmortem, which is an examination after the fact, a pre-mortem is focused on anticipating objections, problems and issues before they occur – and, from there, pre-solving them before the sales process even begins.

4. Raise the Bar on Trust  

You need to shift from being a vendor to being a trusted advisor. A vendor simply supplies a product. A trusted advisor supplies true advantage.

When you seek that higher ground and become a trusted advisor, your clients trust you more.

Remember that the future is all about relationships. Relationships are all about trust, and you gain trust by earning it. So never teach people to distrust you by stretching the truth or hiding some pertinent information. To differentiate, you need to raise the bar on trust.

5. Commit to Finding the Customer’s Truest Needs

When you focus on redefining what you already have, you can take your current offering and leverage it to new levels. That’s when you become a sales leader. It’s not because of some fast-talking sales pitch, it’s because of your commitment to your customers and their true needs.

So focus on relationships, trust and truth, and you’ll be able to give your customers tools and solutions they never dreamed possible. As a result, both you and your company will attain new levels of success and realize the profit potential you always knew existed.  

Want more tips for anticipatory selling? Get my book The Anticipatory Organization: Turning Disruption and Change into Opportunity and Advantage, available now at www.TheAOBook.com

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Know When To Trust The Truth?

“The truth is the opposite of a lie that’s believable. Watch what you believe!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“You don’t know what the truth looks like, even though I’ve recited it numerous times to you through my ever-changing story.”

What does the truth feel like, sound like, look like, when you feel it, hear it, see it? How do you determine to what degree the truth has been told? The truth can be fluid. That means, we know what the truth is today, based on what we’ve known to be truthful in the past. Then, as greater insight, discoveries, and other machinations are introduced into our environment, a new truth can emerge.

It’s important to understand how you discern what you perceive to be the truth because others can manipulate you, based on what they know of your ability to distinguish between fact from fiction.

To become more cognizant as to when someone might be engaging in the truth, versus having no relationship with it at all, take note of the following insights.

Demeanor – Yours and Theirs:

Always note the demeanor of someone when they engage with you. In particular, note to what degree they feel at ease, uptight, or normal (whatever that is as it relates to their demeanor); you can observe this by noting how they act/respond in un-stressful environments. The non-stressful environment will become the basis from which to make and compare future assessments. You should also be mindful of how you feel as the result of being with the person that’s speaking to you. Your demeanor will put you into a particular mindset that sets your perception and expectations about that person’s ability to tell the truth.

Intuitiveness:

When it comes to truthfulness versus deception, you know more than you think you do. When was the last time you had a ‘feeling’ about whether someone was telling you the truth? What did you experience? Was it something they said, the way they said it, or maybe the way they looked when they said/did it. When you had that sensation, your intuitiveness had kicked in; something triggered it. If you were aware through which senses you perceived such signals, you can use the same sense(s) to heighten your awareness in the future. Never discount a gut feeling. That’s your subconscious mind beckoning your attention.

Story In Order:

When people lie, they tend to fill their story with detail and they’ll attempt to tell their story in a chronological order. To catch such a perpetrator, take one aspect of his story and slightly change it as you recite it back to him; don’t let on that you’re doing so to see if he corrects you, or agrees to your version of his story. If he doesn’t correct you, do the same with another section of his story to see what he does. If he lets that one go too, feign forgetfulness and ask him to repeat the story. Note to what degree the story changes from the original version. To the degree that it does, you’ll know where the lie lies.

Body Language:

When someone is being truthful, their body language is aligned with their words (i.e. hand and eye movements are synched with words). If you note subtle changes in their demeanor, as they profess to tell you the truth, note the question you posed that caused such a reaction. The question you posed, and their reaction to it, will be a guidepost that indicates the degree that you may be uncovering their lack of truthfulness.

There are many reasons why someone may wish to avoid being 100% truthful with you. If you set the ‘right’ environment, observe the storyteller’s body language, and you’re mindful of this person’s demeanor you’ll create the space in which more of the truth can reside … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Trust #Truth #Negotiation #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #detectingLies  #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #HowToHandleObjections