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“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“ – Negotiation Insight

“Reading body language accurately has many advantages. Detecting hidden aggression is one of them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

 

“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“

 

One member of a negotiation team said to the other, that meeting became ruckus quickly. At first, I couldn’t tell if the other side’s leader was being passive-aggressive, or if he perceived our proposals to be inappropriate or repulsive. But then, I knew he was upset by the body language gestures he emitted. They pointed towards outright aggression. That’s when I knew things were about to get ugly. What body language signs did you observe that indicated he was about to become aggressive, was the question asked by the man’s associate.

When someone’s about to become aggressive, do you know what signs to note? It’s essential to be able to understand the nonverbal and body language signals that indicate imminent hostilities. Doing so will allow you the time to deflect or redirect such efforts. Continue, and you’ll discover five body language signals that foretell pending aggression.

Blustering:

“I’m going to put my foot so far up your rear that it’ll come out of your mouth.” “Yeah! And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re trying to put your foot up my rear?” Blustering occurs in many forms. When it’s verbal, it’s easy to see and understand. Because words are used to convey one’s sentiments, which decreases the misperception of one’s intent. But blustering also occurs through one’s body language. A person portrays it by puffing out their chest, extending the outreach of their arms on both sides, and even in the stance that slightly projects one foot slightly ahead of the other. In each instance, that person is positioning himself for the pending aggression that’s he’s considering. And, depending on how heated the environment, he may not be consciously aware of the behaviors he’s committing. And that’s why you should take note. By doing so, you’ll have the opportunity to temper his behavior before it reaches the point of uncontrollability.

Eyes:

Darting – When someone is agitated, and they begin quickly scanning the environment with their eyes, they’re in assessment mode. This gesture alone does not indicate pending aggression on this person’s behalf. But coupled with other signs such as flaring nostrils, protruding chin, and fist/hand flexing, darting eyes lends more credence to the probability that pending aggression is increasingly heightening.

Narrowing – When someone’s eye focus becomes narrow, they’re lending more emphasis on the subject of their attention. That means they’re blocking out other distractions to assess what they might do next to thwart the unpleasantness they’re experiencing. When you see someone narrowing their eyes on you, raise your awareness of their pending intent. They may be in the process of becoming aggressive.

Pupil Dilation – Pupil dilation is another silent display that someone exhibits when they get excited. Dilation can occur from the natural excitement one experiences from being in a pleasant environment too. But you can instinctively tell by someone’s demeanor if they’re happy or agitated. That’s also the insight to seek to determine if they’re becoming annoyed by an adverse action they perceive stemming from you.

 

Flaring Nostrils:

Nostril flaring is one of the most telling signs indicating pending aggression. A person flares their nostrils as a way to get more oxygen into their bloodstream. And in adverse situations, that can be the preparation leading to aggression. The more the person engages in that act, the more they’re preparing to become aggressive.

 

Chin/Jaw:

An outward thrust chin is a silent signal stating that the owner of the action is displaying his desire to take a portion of your space. Conversely, when people tuck their chin, they’re demonstrating the need to protect themselves. Thus, you should perceive the outward thrust of someone’s jaw as saying, I’m not afraid of you. If they take a step(s) towards you while displaying that gesture, they’re becoming more defiant and more aggressive. You can stand your ground or back up. If you hold your position, you’ll be stating with your action that you’re not afraid of them either  – now what? In either case, be aware of where tension resides and adopt the measure that’s best suited to combat it.

 

Hand/Fist:

Flexing – If you observe someone flexing their hand in a negative environment, it may be an indication that they’re attempting to loosen up to get more blood flowing to that part of their body.

Tightening – When someone becomes excessively exasperated, they stiffen their hands, which can turn into fists. Thus, while observing the beginning of someone’s hands flexing, note the moment when their hands turn into fists. A heightening in potential aggression has occurred at that moment. And the person may be a moment or so from lashing out at you.

 

Reflection:

Like a snake, you can observe the lynchpin behavior of someone that’s in the process of striking out at you. In the snake’s case, it emits signals through its rattle, warning you of pending danger. Then, if you don’t vacate the surroundings, he strikes you. The same is true of a human. Initially, he gives warning through his body language to get you to back off. And, if you’re persistent at making him feel uneasy, he’ll strike at you.

To avoid harm’s way, note the mentioned signs that lead to aggression. As soon as you sense a verbal or physical attack is imminent, become more observant about the pace of its escalation. And remove yourself from the environment if possible. If that’s not possible, adopt a posture that’s more or less threatening than what’s confronting you. And be aware of the effect this has on your nemesis. In some cases, it will cause him to increase his efforts. In other situations, it may be the form of de-escalation needed to subdue an explosive situation that’s in the making. Know the difference to determine the best action to adopt. Because the optimum word is control – and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#BodyLanguage #Aggression #vulnerable #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiationexamples #Negotiationstrategies #negotiationprocess #negotiationskillstraining #negotiationtypes #negotiationpsychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #TheMasterNegotiator #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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“Stop Bully Fear How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A bully’s power exists to the degree you grant it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)    Click here to get the book!

 


“Stop Bully Fear – How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating, even more so against a bully.

World leaders gently gnaw at their bottom lip as the world wrenches in turmoil created by the bully. They are waiting to see what the bully does next. They pause in hesitation because they are unsure which negotiation skills and tactics to use. One courageous leader stands alone, shouting, fight the bully.

But since he has little and limited power on the world stage, his cry for assistance to fight the bully forcefully is met with an insufficient response. Even though the bully has shown through actions that he cannot be appeased or trusted, those in power act with restrained power. No one seems to know how to negotiate with the bully.

So, how might you better negotiate with a bully to fight back his aggressive nature? That is what this article will help you discover. And in so doing, you will increase your negotiation skills.

Click here to discover more!

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

“Stop Bully Fear – How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills”

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

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“Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Good stories evoke emotions. And controlling emotions helps win negotiations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)         Click here to get the book!

 

“Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

Whenever negotiators negotiate, they want to win the negotiation. And one way to accomplish a winning negotiation is with stories. But not just any story – one needs good stories.

As you tell your stories, you must use them strategically during negotiations. Plus, they have to be viable; they need to tug on your counterpart’s emotions.

The following insights will allow you to improve your negotiation efforts by using stories. It will also enhance your capabilities to improve your storytelling abilities.

 

Click here to continue!

Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Women In Business

“Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Good stories evoke emotions. And controlling emotions helps win negotiations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)         Click here to get the book!

 

“Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

Whenever negotiators negotiate, they want to win the negotiation. And one way to accomplish a winning negotiation is with stories. But not just any story – one needs good stories.

As you tell your stories, you must use them strategically during negotiations. Plus, they have to be viable; they need to tug on your counterpart’s emotions.

The following insights will allow you to improve your negotiation efforts by using stories. It will also enhance your capabilities to improve your storytelling abilities.

 

Click here to continue!

Use Good Stories How To With More Emotion To Win Negotiations

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Powerful Persuasion How To Negotiate Better Using Mind Control” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

You can discover how to become more persuasive in this week’s …

Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Persuasion is the mind’s controller that leads to greater mind control.”  -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 Mind control, persuasion, negotiate better, Negotiation skills, Body Language, Negotiation Tips, Negotiator, Negotiating, Negotiation strategies, negotiation skills training, reading body language, Greg Williams The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert, Negotiate, Negotiation, The Master Negotiator, Greg Williams The Master Negotiator, Greg Williams, Harvard Business Review, Body Language Expert, Body Language Secrets,

Click here to get the book!

  

“Powerful Persuasion How To Negotiate Better Using Mind Control”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

When you negotiate, what thoughts do you have about mind control? To negotiate better, you must exercise persuasion over your negotiation counterpart. And, if you do not control the opposition’s mind, they will control yours.

The following are a few powerful persuasion techniques you can use to control your mind and that of the other negotiator. Being aware of them, and preparing to exercise control beforehand, allows you to negotiate better, achieving better negotiation outcomes.   

Click here to become more persuasive!

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Powerful Persuasion How To Negotiate Better Using Mind Control” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

You can discover how to become more persuasive in this week’s …

Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Persuasion is the mind’s controller that leads to greater mind control.”  -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 Mind control, persuasion, negotiate better, Negotiation skills, Body Language, Negotiation Tips, Negotiator, Negotiating, Negotiation strategies, negotiation skills training, reading body language, Greg Williams The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert, Negotiate, Negotiation, The Master Negotiator, Greg Williams The Master Negotiator, Greg Williams, Harvard Business Review, Body Language Expert, Body Language Secrets,

Click here to get the book!

  

“Powerful Persuasion How To Negotiate Better Using Mind Control”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

When you negotiate, what thoughts do you have about mind control? To negotiate better, you must exercise persuasion over your negotiation counterpart. And, if you do not control the opposition’s mind, they will control yours.

The following are a few powerful persuasion techniques you can use to control your mind and that of the other negotiator. Being aware of them, and preparing to exercise control beforehand, allows you to negotiate better, achieving better negotiation outcomes.   

Click here to become more persuasive!

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Be a Better Negotiator: Control Your Risky Positioning

“Taking risks can be risky if you don’t control the risks you take.” Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Positioning in a #negotiation impacts a #negotiator’s ability to #negotiate before the negotiation begins. Because the way you position yourself determines how the other negotiator will perceive you. And it’ll regulate your interactions. Thus, to be a better negotiator, you must #control any risky #positioning that might impact a negotiation.

Everyone considers what they might encounter before they engage in an activity – that’s especially true in negotiations. And it’s better you shape their perception before they do. Doing so delivers the image you wish them to have of you compared to the haphazard perspective they might create.

The following are examples to control your positioning before a negotiation occurs.

Hanging with Influencers:

You’re perceived as an influencer when you surround yourself with those that influence others – that allows you to become better positioned. To advantage your position, consider becoming seen with the influencers that’ll have the greatest impact on those that you wish to influence. That will improve your positioning based on how others perceive you.

Controlling Your Message:

People will attempt to control your message. And they may hijack its intent to serve a purpose that’s better aligned with their goals, not yours. To oppose their efforts …

  • Control others that attempt to control your message. Don’t let them brand you or your message if it doesn’t support your positioning – confront them when they oppose you.
  • Beware of ear-jackers – Ear-jackers are people that will eavesdrop on your conversations when they’re in your environment. Most likely, they’ll appear to be engaged in other activities. They may be seeking salacious information that they can twist to demean you or enhance their positioning (e.g. I heard him say ‘XYZ’. I knew there was another side to him that he doesn’t want the public to see.)
  • Observe what happens in slow motion. Because we’re bombarded with activities, sometimes we miss what’s before us – most occurrences happen over an extended period-of-time. Take note of the changes that occur around you daily. It’s the short-term changes that could become long-term detriments to your positioning that you should be aware of.
  • Be innovative – When you’re seen as an innovator, you’re viewed as someone that’s leading others to their future. If they perceive that as a benefit, they’ll follow you more readily. And when you’re at the negotiation table, they’ll be more willing to accept your offerings.
  • Control the flow of your messages. Always consider the impact one message will have on another when you send it into the realm of public opinion. If you initiate messages that are less important too frequently, messages that might have a greater impact on your positioning will be less potent – and the more important messages may miss your intended audience altogether.

Use Appropriate Words:

Words control emotions. And emotions control perceptions. To control your positioning better, control the words that control your message. As an example, depending on the situation, it may be beneficial to use the word squabble versus fight (e.g. we had a squabble) – that’s less impactful than, we had a fight. The exchange of those two words alters the perception of the situation.

Perception is Reality:

When it comes to controlling your positioning, perception is reality. Your integrity intentions can be in alignment with your actions and if someone taints it with their ill-will, you could become seen as someone with less integrity. That’ll impact the way the other negotiator interacts with you. That could be to the detriment of both of you and the negotiation.

Being a better negotiator starts first with how you’re positioned. It shapes the way you’re perceived at the negotiation table. It determines how the other negotiator will strategize to negotiate against you. And it will have an impact on how effective your negotiation efforts will be. To negotiate better, always pay careful attention to your messages and how they position you. Because, the better you position yourself per how you wish to be perceived, the easier the negotiation will be … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Right #Cure #Disasters #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Negotiator: Embrace Right Buy-In, Cure Stupid Hidden Disasters

“As a negotiator, getting the right buy-in helps you stop disasters before they occur.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

A good negotiator knows, when you embrace the right buy-in, you cure hidden disasters before they can occur.

For almost a year, they secretly planned the rollout. They touted it as a facelift that would change the name and position of the association. Doing so would give it a fresh look and appearance for the 21st century. But when the rollout occurred, the backlash was severe. All the money, time, expenses, and efforts that went into the new face of the association went down a drain of despair. The question that buzzed throughout the association was, how could this have happened? The response was when you embrace the right buy-in, you stop hidden disasters. And this disaster was easily avoidable.

First, as a negotiator, what do you think went wrong? What buy-in do you seek when thinking about the obstacles you might face in your negotiations? To the degree you obtain the right buy-in, you have a better chance for a successful outcome. To the degree you get the right buy-in at the right time, your chances of a successful outcome increases substantially.

Problem:

Secrecy – In the opening situation, the president of that association assembled a team of prominent members – all were members of the association. Their expertise stretched across the spectrum of branding, marketing, and social media. None were members of the vanguard that had watched over the association for decades. And the omittance of that group’s input was a silent blinking red light that foretold the death of the project.

Negotiating in secret environments can be beneficial. It can prevent unwanted distractions from slowing the progress of the negotiation. It also serves to gather the buy-in of stakeholders that might torpedo the negotiation. Thus, secrecy can be a form of control – it can also be the deliverer of disaster if not used right.

Forgotten power players – The name of the association had stood for four decades. And some of the revered founding members were still active in the association. When the new name was revealed, that vanguard was the catalyst that caused the committee’s efforts, and the new name, to meet a swift death. Had the committee consulted this vanguard, the committee would have known its efforts were doomed. They could have avoided a hidden disaster.

Consideration:

Had the committee charged with creating a new name involved the vanguard of the association and brought them along during the planning stage, at minimum, the new name would have stood a greater chance of becoming implemented successfully. At worse, the committee would have known that the new name was in trouble. Losses could have been averted at an earlier point and resources could have been spared.

The challenge a negotiator faces when employing secrecy is making sure the right people are involved. If they’re not involved, hidden disasters may lie in wait.

Always take into consideration who might be involved in a negotiation even if they’re not physically or visually involved in it. Seek those individuals that might have a stake in the outcome of the negotiation no matter how small you think their stake might be. There’ll be times when you won’t know the power source behind some people’s means – that’s something else to consider. There’ll also be times when smaller stakeholders will combine forces, which will present a more powerful force for you to contend with.

Conclusion:

Getting the right buy-in is a vital component of every negotiation – even when it’s just you and the other negotiator. Doing so when you have multiple participants is even more vital to the negotiation’s success. Therefore, when you assess the impact of the buy-in component during your negotiation planning stage, consider its impact thoroughly … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Right #Cure #Disasters #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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How to Make Your Words Colorful to Inspire People

 

“To inspire people, touch their emotions. To touch their emotions, use colorful words that paint pictures in their mind’s eye.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To inspire people, you must touch their emotions. To touch their emotions, use colorful words that paint pictures in the mind of those you seek to inspire.

Since words communicate feelings, they move people to action. To become better at inspiring people and moving them to action, take note of the following insights.

Colorful Words:

Some words are more vibrant than others. And the way you form them makes you appear more powerful. As an example, if I said, ‘we can achieve our goal’. Depending on the modulation of my voice, some people will become inspired and moved to action. But, if I said, ‘if we stand strong, united as a single force, we can overcome anything – we can achieve our goal!”, with the same modulation as the first example, more people will become inspired.

Here’s another example. “Through a forceful fight, devoid of fright, we can forge our way to victory!” Out of the three examples, you’re probably moved more by this one. I’m sure you can sense the sensational difference too. The last two examples where more moving, more inspiring, more colorful. They had more rhythm, too.

Rhythm:

The rhythm in which you deliver your words also impacts their perception. You may have observed the rhythm in the second example. The words stand, strong, united as a single force. They set the tone and rhythm for, ‘we can overcome anything – we can achieve our goal!’ Where rhythm is concerned, the more your words end on a beat, the better they sound to someone’s ears. Then there’s alliteration.

Alliteration:

Alliterations can also be impactful and lead one to become inspired. They can move a listener to action due to the rhythm and pictures they create. Forceful, fight, and fright, were the words used to alliterate and paint a picture in the third example. Those words were the backbone upon which life was given to, “Through a forceful fight, devoid of fright, we can forge our way to victory.” I’m sure that example conjured up more imagery in your mind’s eye. I bet it was more inspiring, too.

When it comes to inspiring people, the more colorful words you use, along with rhythm and alliteration, the greater the image you’ll paint upon the perception of their mind. That will also be the source by which you’re able to inspire them.

By taking note of what’s mentioned above and employing it during your efforts to inspire others, you’ll increase your degree of influence, be perceived as more of a leader, and become more admired. You will have reached a higher summit in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, words are the means through which you communicate your position. To be more impactful, you need to be aware of how to use those words to move the other negotiator to your perspective. By utilizing the examples mentioned, you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing that mission. Thus, if you want to win more of your negotiations, don’t take those insights lightly. If you do, you do so at your peril.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#words #inspire #InspirePeople #Best #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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What Moves You the Most Fear: Reward or Pain?

“The difference between fear, reward, or pain, is the emotional state that either creates in you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you know what moves you to action the quickest? I know it depends on the circumstance you’re in. But sometimes, we’re moved more by fear than reward or pain.

You should always be aware of what moves you to action in any situation. Doing so allows you to be more aligned with your decision-making process. And that allows you to understand why you choose to engage in certain actions.

The following are thoughts to consider when assessing how to decide about an action you’ll take. Being aware of those observations will also help you identify the source of motivation that’s controlling your thoughts.

Fear: Most people are motivated more by the fear of loss versus the reward of gain. You can test yourself by examining something that’s of value to you. Assess to what degree you’d feel pain if you no longer had it. Now compare that to other items (i.e. people, things) that you value. Now how do you feel? Through that quick simulation, you’ve prioritized what is of value to you. And, you’ve assessed the emotional state you’d be in if you no longer had it. You can make the same calculations when weighing the benefits of possibly acquiring something new versus not doing so because of where that process might lead. Also remember, something new carries intrinsic risks – it’s unknown – it has no history and thus no track record. It might look good in the beginning and be fraught with hidden dangers to come.

Reward: This can be a great motivator. But you should also note why you’re driven by a reward. If the driving force is to escape what you’re moving from, you should consider that fear might be the predominant source that’s motivating you. That’s important because you don’t want to think you’re driven by reward when the source is fear. The two motivators are directed by different mindsets within you.

The true motivation of reward might appear as you being happy and seeking more to enhance that feeling. As a result, you’re willing to take a risk to obtain what you seek. Always question when seeking a reward what the hidden risk is. Question to what degree it’s the loss of something that you’re familiar with. Thus, make your calculations appropriately to determine if you’re propelled by moving towards or away from something.

Pain: Pain can be a feisty motivator. On the one hand, most people attempt to avoid pain. Then, there are those that embrace it as a source to grow from. Either psyche may be the motivator that moves you to action.

Like the association that fear and reward have to one another, the avoidance of pain can be the conductor that divides one direction from another. That’s to say, if you’re predominately attempting to avoid pain, you may forgo the risk of reward. If you’re immune to pain, you may be more daring. Again, there’s a thin mental line that separates the mindset that’ll move you in one direction versus another. Know what that mindset is.

Always attempt to understand the sources that motivate you. They’re the lifeblood of your being. Thus, the more you know the process that controls its flow, the better you’ll be able to direct it … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you’ll be motivated to take action based on fear, reward, or pain. If you’re aware of the driving force that motivates you to action, you should be better positioned to control those actions. By being in greater control of yourself, you’ll be in greater control of the negotiation and the other negotiator. That means that he won’t be able to easily ‘push your buttons’ … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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