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“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“ – Negotiation Insight

“Reading body language accurately has many advantages. Detecting hidden aggression is one of them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

 

“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“

 

One member of a negotiation team said to the other, that meeting became ruckus quickly. At first, I couldn’t tell if the other side’s leader was being passive-aggressive, or if he perceived our proposals to be inappropriate or repulsive. But then, I knew he was upset by the body language gestures he emitted. They pointed towards outright aggression. That’s when I knew things were about to get ugly. What body language signs did you observe that indicated he was about to become aggressive, was the question asked by the man’s associate.

When someone’s about to become aggressive, do you know what signs to note? It’s essential to be able to understand the nonverbal and body language signals that indicate imminent hostilities. Doing so will allow you the time to deflect or redirect such efforts. Continue, and you’ll discover five body language signals that foretell pending aggression.

Blustering:

“I’m going to put my foot so far up your rear that it’ll come out of your mouth.” “Yeah! And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re trying to put your foot up my rear?” Blustering occurs in many forms. When it’s verbal, it’s easy to see and understand. Because words are used to convey one’s sentiments, which decreases the misperception of one’s intent. But blustering also occurs through one’s body language. A person portrays it by puffing out their chest, extending the outreach of their arms on both sides, and even in the stance that slightly projects one foot slightly ahead of the other. In each instance, that person is positioning himself for the pending aggression that’s he’s considering. And, depending on how heated the environment, he may not be consciously aware of the behaviors he’s committing. And that’s why you should take note. By doing so, you’ll have the opportunity to temper his behavior before it reaches the point of uncontrollability.

Eyes:

Darting – When someone is agitated, and they begin quickly scanning the environment with their eyes, they’re in assessment mode. This gesture alone does not indicate pending aggression on this person’s behalf. But coupled with other signs such as flaring nostrils, protruding chin, and fist/hand flexing, darting eyes lends more credence to the probability that pending aggression is increasingly heightening.

Narrowing – When someone’s eye focus becomes narrow, they’re lending more emphasis on the subject of their attention. That means they’re blocking out other distractions to assess what they might do next to thwart the unpleasantness they’re experiencing. When you see someone narrowing their eyes on you, raise your awareness of their pending intent. They may be in the process of becoming aggressive.

Pupil Dilation – Pupil dilation is another silent display that someone exhibits when they get excited. Dilation can occur from the natural excitement one experiences from being in a pleasant environment too. But you can instinctively tell by someone’s demeanor if they’re happy or agitated. That’s also the insight to seek to determine if they’re becoming annoyed by an adverse action they perceive stemming from you.

 

Flaring Nostrils:

Nostril flaring is one of the most telling signs indicating pending aggression. A person flares their nostrils as a way to get more oxygen into their bloodstream. And in adverse situations, that can be the preparation leading to aggression. The more the person engages in that act, the more they’re preparing to become aggressive.

 

Chin/Jaw:

An outward thrust chin is a silent signal stating that the owner of the action is displaying his desire to take a portion of your space. Conversely, when people tuck their chin, they’re demonstrating the need to protect themselves. Thus, you should perceive the outward thrust of someone’s jaw as saying, I’m not afraid of you. If they take a step(s) towards you while displaying that gesture, they’re becoming more defiant and more aggressive. You can stand your ground or back up. If you hold your position, you’ll be stating with your action that you’re not afraid of them either  – now what? In either case, be aware of where tension resides and adopt the measure that’s best suited to combat it.

 

Hand/Fist:

Flexing – If you observe someone flexing their hand in a negative environment, it may be an indication that they’re attempting to loosen up to get more blood flowing to that part of their body.

Tightening – When someone becomes excessively exasperated, they stiffen their hands, which can turn into fists. Thus, while observing the beginning of someone’s hands flexing, note the moment when their hands turn into fists. A heightening in potential aggression has occurred at that moment. And the person may be a moment or so from lashing out at you.

 

Reflection:

Like a snake, you can observe the lynchpin behavior of someone that’s in the process of striking out at you. In the snake’s case, it emits signals through its rattle, warning you of pending danger. Then, if you don’t vacate the surroundings, he strikes you. The same is true of a human. Initially, he gives warning through his body language to get you to back off. And, if you’re persistent at making him feel uneasy, he’ll strike at you.

To avoid harm’s way, note the mentioned signs that lead to aggression. As soon as you sense a verbal or physical attack is imminent, become more observant about the pace of its escalation. And remove yourself from the environment if possible. If that’s not possible, adopt a posture that’s more or less threatening than what’s confronting you. And be aware of the effect this has on your nemesis. In some cases, it will cause him to increase his efforts. In other situations, it may be the form of de-escalation needed to subdue an explosive situation that’s in the making. Know the difference to determine the best action to adopt. Because the optimum word is control – and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#BodyLanguage #Aggression #vulnerable #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiationexamples #Negotiationstrategies #negotiationprocess #negotiationskillstraining #negotiationtypes #negotiationpsychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #TheMasterNegotiator #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Skills Women In Business

Do You Know the Hidden Source of Your Happiness?

“To unveil your sources of happiness, you must know where it lives.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He spoke with his website designer. After the call, he felt a heightened sense of happiness. As he reveled in his bliss, he assessed his state of pleasure and reflected on why it was in abundance. He realized that those feelings stemmed from that conversation. He thought, “My website will be updated, which means my services and skills will be presented better. That will bring in more business and create more opportunities for me.”

Do you note when you’re happy? Are you aware of the hidden sources of your happiness? Sometimes, we’re happy and we’re not aware of it. It’s usually because we’re not attentive to what put us into an elated state. Are you aware of what causes that lack of recognition?

Continue reading and you’ll discover why it’s important to pay attention to your level of happiness and the benefits gained from doing so.

Know Yourself:

Do you really know what it takes to make you happy? Or, do you leave it to chance? If you relinquish such an important force to chance, without recognizing it, you’re neglecting your wellbeing.

The more attuned you are to your emotions, your dreams, and driving sources of motivation, the easier it’ll be to identify those variables. That means, regardless of your state of mind, you’ll be able to alter it. But to do that, you must be aware of how and when to exercise that control.

The more aware you are of the environments that challenge your happiness, the more opportunities you’ll have to avoid negativity. First, you must know yourself, know what you want, and focus on constantly moving in the direction of your needs and desires.

Accomplishments:

When you sense you’ve made accomplishments, you feel the momentum of progress. And that makes you experience happiness. Conversely, when you’re not making progress, you may feel like you’re in a rut. That diminishes your happiness.

If you’re more aware of your environments and the people in them, you can make better assessments about the probability of outcomes. That’s another reason you should surround yourself with like-minded people. They can serve to help you strive for higher achievements. Their actions can have a profound impact on you and your degree of happiness.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, your emotions sway from one end of the spectrum to the other. At times, they’re like a wild and uncontrollable ride. At other times, they’re akin to a pleasurable stroll on the beach. In either case, your emotions will dictate your actions. Thus, the more aware you are about what causes you happiness, the better you can control your emotions. With that, you’ll be in greater control of your actions when negotiating.

Happiness is truly a state of mind. If you’re more aware of the actions that lead to greater happiness, you’ll be able to induce that state more readily. You’ll also be able to use that skill in times when you might otherwise feel besieged by others, which could lead to unwanted outcomes.

When you learn to control the occurrences that lead to greater happiness, you will have created space where more happiness can reside. That will make you the controller of your happiness quotient … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Happiness #Source #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Know When You Make Good Decisions?

“Decisions are the stepping stones you make to move from one phase of your life to the next. To be successful, know where each step leads.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When called into his boss’ office, he was glowing with pride. He thought, “I took a gamble, made the right decision and now I’m going to get that promotion.” As he walked out of his boss’ office for the last time, with his head hung low, he said to no one in particular, “How do you know when you make good decisions if they’re good decisions?” He was fired for making a decision that caused the company to lose its biggest client.

So, what criterion do you use when making decisions? And to what degree do you know or think you’ve made a good decision at the time you make it? Decision making can be dicey. Consider the following when engaging in your decision-making process.

Overall Goals:

Every decision will lead in one direction versus another. The variation may be slight. But, if you make a drastic decision that takes you further from your goals, you will have wasted valuable time and effort. Because that will put more distance between you and your goals. Before implementing major decisions, consider the impact that little decisions will have on your goals.

Where Does It Lead:

To be more mindful of the decisions you make, question yourself about where a decision may lead. Ask yourself, what will be the outcome of the decision you make and how will it impact other decisions? Will the possible outcome be too costly to bear? How will I and those that I care about feel emotionally about the outcome? If you sense a feeling of dread during this phase, it may be a warning to abandon the decision(s) you’re contemplating.

What if:

Play the ‘what if’ game when considering the decisions you’re contemplating. Ask yourself, what would happen if I didn’t make the decision – where would that leave me? Where would I be if I made it? What would happen next? By posing such a series of questions to yourself, you’ll gain deeper thoughts about where a decision might lead. If it leaves you in a place you rather not be, don’t make it – abandon it.

Consequences:

Decisions have consequences. Consider the ones that are more important more carefully. In part, assess the impact a decision will have on your life or those that significantly impact your life. For greater assessment ask yourself, what combined impact will my decisions have on others and how might that affect me, good or bad?

What does this have to do with negotiations?

During a negotiation, you’ll evaluate a countless number of decisions. Some will be easier to make. Because you will have discovered the paths to take during the planning phase.

For those decisions that might bear strong consequences, consider the outcome carefully. If you think a decision may leave you in a good place now but challenge your position later, it may behoove you to forgo it. There’s always another side to consider when considering decisions. Don’t ignore the consequences of that other side. Don’t make decisions in haste – there may be unforeseen consequences.

Even when a decision can appear to be the light at the end of a tunnel, that light can be a train coming at you. Be mindful of how, with who, and when you make decisions. The more you examine the possibilities of where they may lead, the better a handle you’ll have on the decisions to make … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Decisions #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

There’s No Shame in Ignorance

“There’s no shame in being ignorant. The shame comes from not dispelling it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body language Expert

“Alexa, who is Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert? Sorry, I don’t know that” was Alexa’s reply.

Do you think Alexa felt shame about not knowing the answer to that question – it didn’t? Alexa is artificial intelligence. It’s programmed to acquire knowledge. You’re like that too. You acquire knowledge and that reduces your ignorance. There should be no shame associated with engaging in that process.

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. Everyone is ignorant of many things. So, why do people become shamed by it? This article explores that. And it abates the uneasiness that partners with ignorance.

The Stigma of Ignorance:

Sometimes, there’s a self-degrading stigma attached to ignorance. It generates embarrassment within the person possessing it. Don’t allow that to happen to you. And don’t allow others to weaponize ignorance against you. Understand your uniqueness. Use that as a shield. Then, if you want to become more knowledgeable about a subject, do so because it’s your desire. Don’t let others control you through their ignorance of who you are.

Self-Esteem:

Your self-esteem may come into question when asked for wisdom on a topic you don’t know. Momentary fear may kick in, depending on the circumstances. That dilemma can cause you angst.

If you’re stupefied by a question, alter your self-perspective. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just don’t know. If the subject matter is important, you can acquire knowledge. Don’t let it mentally debilitate you.

Fear of Unknown:

Do you fear not knowing the answers to questions simply because you don’t know what’s being sought? There are times when you become mentally constipated because of what you believe others think of you. Note when that happens. Allay your emotions by thinking that no one knows everything – there are things the person posing questions don’t know. Plus, you give your mental power to others when you allow them to control your self-perception.

Perception of Peers:

You may become daunted by ignorance when considering what friends and associates think of you because you lack knowledge in a certain area. If they’re ‘real friends’, you should be able to express your ignorance without fear of the negative perception of rejection. If that’s a concern, you can always push-back by saying, please reduce my ignorance or reveal your own. No one can make you feel ignorant. Only you have that power. Since you control it, control its perception.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, ignorance can open the door to fear. And fear can throw your negotiation off kilter. By planning extensively for an upcoming negotiation, you can reduce fear – do so by reducing unknown aspects that might cause it to occur. That means, during the planning process, consider as many variables as possible. Plan for them and have strategies ready to deal with situations that might threaten your negotiation position. Being prepared will disperse fears of where you might unwantedly venture into the negotiation. You will also cast the demon of ignorance into the dungeons of anonymity … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #shame #ignorance #ignorant #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Scares You?

“Sometimes, your imagination scares you. To assess your fears, check your unchecked thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… The thought of that scared me. My focus was on what others would think if I failed.” An executive manager of a major international corporation spoke those words. I suggested that he shift his paradigm from thinking about failure, and what others would think, to one more positive.

Have you ever considered what scares you? While you might be frightened of some things, they may be the doorway that leads to greater opportunities. There are things that you should shy away from. Therefore, I’m not suggesting you go head-first into everything that scares you. Instead, reflect on the benefits that might reside within your fears.

Consider the following thoughts when assessing how, whether, and when you should embrace things that frightened you.

Identify what scares you:

Before you can address your fears, you must identify them. You should also identify why you’re lending legitimacy to them. In identifying them, note their origins. Do they stem for a hurt you experienced in the not too distant past, or do they stem from some further hidden source? The better you are at identifying the source of what scares you, the better you’ll be at assembling a plan to deal with those fears.

Assessment:

While assessing the source of your fears, assess if it’s something that you should rightfully be afraid of. Fear can serve as a warning. Thus, there are some things that you should avoid. In your assessment, label what’s real and what’s imagined when it comes to what scares you.

Imagination:

When we were kids, we dealt with things that frightened us by using imaginary forces. We even created imaginary friends. The point is, we used our mind to help us live in the reality we wanted for ourselves. We can still use our mind for that purpose. When confronting what scares you, imagine what will happen when you overcome your fear by addressing the thing that scares you. Imagine you’re receiving accolades for doing so. Now, how does that make you feel? It should make you feel good. After all, you’re only imagining it, which means, you’re in complete control … as you are always.

You can find motivation from the above thoughts and allow them to move you to action. Or, you can choose not to address your fears. But If you’re serious about achieving greater success in life, you must commit to challenging the things that jeopardize that success, that which scares you. After making that commitment, your life will instantly be on a straighter road to success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the fears of adopting one position versus another may cause you angst. But if you’ve considered the unexpected offers that might occur beforehand you will have planned on how to address them. That should allay your fear.

Nevertheless, if you’re caught by a scary situation, don’t show it through any body language and/or nonverbal signals (e.g. mouth agape, widened eyes). You don’t want the other negotiator to sense his momentary advantage. Instead, go into quandary body language display mode (e.g. hand on chin head cocked to one side, or chin resting in hand and on side of face). This action will give you time to think, while the other negotiator wonders what you’re thinking about. If you display a cunning smile while doing so, you may evoke fear in him.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #scare #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Know What Really Makes You Happy?

“Happiness is your state of mind that only exists when you think it does.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

One day you’re up. The next day you’re down, and so the yo-yo goes. Maybe the ups and downs are not daily, but it occurs to a degree in everyone’s life. Do you know the frequency of your ups and downs? Do you know what really makes you happy?

There’s a reason you should take account of your happiness quotient. It’s the doorway to accomplishing greater achievements. It’s also the doorway that leads to the perception of you leading a better life.

Consider the following insights to note your degree of happiness, what sparks it, and what might cause it to decline.

Self-Psychology:

Know the triggers that lead to happiness and unhappiness. Those two boundaries will be your guardrails that trip your inner silent alarm. Even if you encounter an abundance of happiness, sensitize yourself to how it occurred. You can use those stimuli to acquire greater happiness. That will serve as a motivator to spur you to higher heights. The point is, know what motivates you to stride forward faster and you’ll be more aware of how to do so.

Happiness:

Everyone has a slightly different definition of happiness. To understand the impact that happiness has on you, define what it means to you. Not doing so subjects you to the whims of life’s occurrences. You’ll relinquish control to those dictates and they, not you, will determine when you’re happy and when you’re not.

Unhappiness:

In my writings, presentations, and trainings, I’ve suggested to people worldwide that they note what makes them unhappy. Some have responded by saying, “why would I focus on negativity – that’ll only serve to make me unhappier”. Think about that for a moment. If you didn’t know what a hot stove felt like, you’d be more likely to touch it and get burned. How many times would you want that to occur? The point is, yin and yang are the boundaries of happiness. And unhappiness is the yin in that equation. The more you’re aware of what makes you unhappy, the more clarity you’ll have about how to avoid it.

Friends:

There are some things that we’re more passionate about than others; longtime friends can fall into that category. While some longtime friends can provide a form of happiness, you should be aware of the impact they have on other aspects of your life. In some cases, their views and opinions may no longer support the goals you’re seeking to achieve. If that’s the case, know the value that they add to your happiness quotient. You don’t have to discard them, just appreciate them for the value they add to your life from a different perspective.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

The degree of happiness you experience when negotiating will impact your degree of engagement. Happiness is an unseen ally that’ll allow you to think more clearly from which greater ideas will flow. It will also serve as the tool that unlocks your ability to make better offers and counteroffers.

The more you’re aware of what ignites your degrees of happiness when you’re negotiating and how to temper unhappiness, the better you’ll be when negotiating … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Happy#Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Know When You Are On A Strong Peak?

 “Never view yourself as having peaked in life. There’ll always be other peaks to take you to higher points.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Athletes know it, do you? Do You know when you are on a strong peak? A strong peak is different than a molehill. It’s when you are really at your best. It’s also important to distinguish when you’re at that point because to get there again, you must know how you achieved it.

Throughout our life, we peak and then we rest. During times of rest other occurrences beckon for our attention. Sometimes, instead of answering the call, we revel in our accomplishments and rightfully so. That’s not a bad thing. Because, during our respite, we re-energize ourselves, which prepares us for the conquering of our next summit.

It’s very important to note how we engage in the ups and downs that occur in our life. There are lessons of growth contained in those situations. One thing to remember is, when you’re down, you must get up. There’s always another peak waiting for you to conquer. When you’re up, know that it’s temporary. There will be higher peaks to reach.

The more you can use your mind to continuously strive to go higher in life, the higher you’ll go. Even when there appears to be a limit on your upward mobility, view it as being temporary. Until you die, you’ll always have the power to climb higher. Be you infirm, afflicted, or ridden by the doubt of self-disappointment, if you wish it to be and work hard enough to bring it to fruition, you can always climb to a higher point. Leap if you must from one peak to the other, that’s okay too. You’ll be seeking what awaits you at a higher level. Thus, dread not when you’re not at your strongest. Fear not when you’re encompassed by weakness. When you’re down, if you don’t give up, you’ll be able to climb up, up to higher heights … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

You’ll go through many mental peaks and valleys in a negotiation. When you sense you’re at a peak, note the offers, counteroffers, and strategies that served as your deliverer.

In every negotiation, you should be aware of where you and the other negotiator are mentally. Body language and other nonverbal signals will allow you to glean some insights (e.g. lack of sharpness, the way offers are viewed per what’s said, pondering too long, etc.). The point is, if you’re not alert, that might be an indicator that you’re not at a strong peak in the negotiation. Take heed of such positions. You’re more likely to make mistakes; the same is true of the other negotiator. There’s the opportunity for you to climb to a higher peak if the latter is true. But you’ll miss it if you don’t recognize the opportunity for the value it contains (i.e. knowing when you’re on a strong peak). Pay attention to such opportunities and greater rewards will await you at higher peaks.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Peak #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Body Language Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Hear What I’m Thinking?

“Delivered succinctly, your thoughts are accurately conveyed. Delivered unsuccinctly, and your message can get lost in a morass of confusion”. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

How many times do you catch yourself not saying exactly what you’re thinking? You say one thing and the meaning becomes altered by what you emit. Okay, did you catch that? The intent was to state, … by what you omit. Such nuances can leave the receiver of your message confused about its intent. We omit complete thoughts at times because we’re not focused on what we say or write.

The following are two points to consider before communicating with others. They’ll help you communicate more effectively.

Know your environments.

Some people get tongue-tied due to their environment. They experience self-pressure because they want to perform better. That’s usually due to how they think they’ll be perceived versus how they wish it to be. Recognize that something is occurring that makes you feel unsafe in those environments. It may stem from the people in it or the environment itself (i.e. glitzy, downtrodden, etc.).

Prior to your entry, identify how you want to convey your thoughts, what might prevent you from doing so, and what you’ll do to become unstuck if that occurs. Having plans in place to move from one mental environment to another will allow you the mental dexterity to place your mind at ease and focus on the message you want to deliver.

Know your mental peaks.

Everyone has times in the day when they’re more mentally alert. Do you know yours? More importantly, do you know what times are best for the important communications that you’ll have?

When you’re at the ‘top of your game’ note how you got there. Is it something someone says that ignites it? Was it the exercise regimen you engaged in. Was it due to a lack of fatigue? Knowing the answers to these questions and others will allow you to identify when you’ll most likely be at your mental peak. When possible, choose those times to engage in more important communications.

When you communicate, whether in writing or verbal, there’ll be times when you don’t communicate succinctly. The better you become at identifying those times, the more alert you’ll be about their occurrence. That mindfulness should allow you to prepare better for the encounter, which should allow you to communicate better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Every negotiation involves communications. It’s in the form of what you say and how you say it. Thus, as offers and counteroffers are exchanged, the words used to convey their sentiment impacts the perception of the offer. Therefore, if you don’t represent your thoughts appropriately, you’ll decrease the chance of communicating effectively. That can lead to a hellish negotiation.

In every negotiation, plan what you’ll say and the body language you’ll use when imparting your message (e.g. moving closer when offers are appealing – away when they’re not, hand supporting chin to reflect contemplation, hands pushing away to signal disdain for the offer, etc.). The more aligned your body language is with your message, the more your message will appear believable. Even if your full thought isn’t conveyed, the body language that accompanies it will add an extra dimension to the message.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Really Want to Get Better?

“Better is, as better is defined. If you want to get better, first define it, then engage it. Learn from it. Then, repeat the process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really want to get better? If so, why? If not, why not? Seriously, some people are happy and satisfied with their station in life. They seek to avoid the challenges, tests, and ultimatums that life places before them. So, they sheepishly slink into the confines of what they perceive to be life’s sanctuaries. Thus, they don’t seek higher stations. Hopefully, that’s not you.

Here’s the point, and I don’t mean to be harsh. If you’re not growing in life, you’re dying. You may already be dead, just waiting for a place to happen. Don’t let that be you! As I state to a dear friend of mine in Australia, keep rising.

Plateau:

Some people plateau in life. They don’t realize when it occurs because they’re too busy living life. They drift on the melodies of life, seduced by its melodic tones. Meanwhile, life changes, be it through technology, relationships, etc., and some don’t note it. They run the risk of falling behind because they’re not staying abreast of the times that change brings. Don’t let that happen to you! Change with the times.

Define it:

To get better, you must know what better means. That means, you must define what it means to get better. While you can seek input from others, in the end, you must live the life you choose. Therefore, be mindful when accepting input. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

Perception:

Okay, you tried to reach a higher point in life, and you failed. First, you didn’t fail. You learned valuable lessons. What were those lessons? If for no other reason, learn from them, so you don’t repeat the worst of them.

Your perception of any aspect determines how you’ll feel about it. If you assign dread to it, you’ll be less likely to engage in it again. That should warrant your attention. Because, if something was calamitous, you can decide to avoid it. Or, you can enhance it by learning from it. The point is, you’ll make that decision anyway. Be aware when it occurs. You’ll be setting your life’s direction.

Once you define what better means and create procedures to achieve your goals, you’ll increase your chances of becoming better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

A negotiation is the exchange of thoughts to increase one’s value. Most of the time, that exchange occurs between different entities. But, in all cases, the negotiation process begins with you and your thoughts.

The better you can define what you want from a negotiation, the greater the chance you’ll have of achieving it. Thus, a lack of attention to your thoughts can leave you in a worse place than before the negotiation. I’m sure you would not define that as getting better.

Remember, always note the negotiation you have with yourself. By doing so, you’ll discover what’s important. That alone will put you on a better road to you getting better.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Better #Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Best Practices Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

Are You Afraid of Losing to Progress?

“If you fear losing what you’ve gained, you’ve already lost it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you think of progress, do you become afraid? Do you even consider what progress is and what it means to you? Progress will occur whether you’re afraid of it, don’t consider it, or choose to let it pass you by. It’s the one thing that’s constant in life. So, if you want to evolve in the ever-evolving environment that you’re in, you can do that by considering the following.

1. Define what progress means to you and why it has that meaning; you should realize that your definition will change over time. Recognize when those changes occur and what brought them about. Then, use markers to identify and measure how close you are to a goal. Make readjustments when they’re required. If you become apprehensive about making them or you do nothing to address them, consider whether you’re afraid of losing to progress. You may have a mental barrier that’s holding you back.

2. Ask yourself, when did you most aggressively seek progress? Why did you seek it? Other questions to ask are:

  • What changed in your life to cause you to seek progress?
  • How did you feel while you were going through what promoted the need for change, for progress?
  • What has change done for you?

3. What do you fear the most about progress? Is it change itself that causes angst? Other questions to ask are:

  • Are you fearful of leaving those you’ve known behind?
  • Are you concerned about where progress might lead you?
  • Will you regret not following the path of progress later in your life? If so, what does that thought do to you? How do you feel about it?
  • What has frustrated you the most about progress?

When you won’t move forward to embrace a goal, especially if it’s one that’s important to you, something’s holding you back. If you explore all realms of possibilities and you still can’t identify the silent hand that’s gripping you, you might be afraid of losing to progress. To test the theory, ask yourself the questions above. You’ll find answers to your dilemma in those questions. When all else fails let that be the last thought that you tackle. If fear is the culprit and you successfully combat it, you’ll slay that gobbling … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Fear prevents some negotiators from being more aggressive. Because of that, they’ll lack the drive to obtain more in a negotiation. While you should exercise caution in a negotiation, caution based on fear can be self-demeaning.

If you fear progress, due to the gains you’ve acquired in a negotiation, assess the mindset that’s motivating you. There are times when leaving too much on the negotiation table is just as bad as attempting to gain too much. In either case, you can appear to be inept. When you display that type of demeanor it can be the setup that signals the other negotiator to be more aggressive with you. That could also be what signals him to push you harder by seeking more concessions. And, that’s a position you don’t want to be in.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions