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“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“ – Negotiation Insight

“Reading body language accurately has many advantages. Detecting hidden aggression is one of them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.

 

“Never Again Be Vulnerable To Hidden Body Language Aggression“

 

One member of a negotiation team said to the other, that meeting became ruckus quickly. At first, I couldn’t tell if the other side’s leader was being passive-aggressive, or if he perceived our proposals to be inappropriate or repulsive. But then, I knew he was upset by the body language gestures he emitted. They pointed towards outright aggression. That’s when I knew things were about to get ugly. What body language signs did you observe that indicated he was about to become aggressive, was the question asked by the man’s associate.

When someone’s about to become aggressive, do you know what signs to note? It’s essential to be able to understand the nonverbal and body language signals that indicate imminent hostilities. Doing so will allow you the time to deflect or redirect such efforts. Continue, and you’ll discover five body language signals that foretell pending aggression.

Blustering:

“I’m going to put my foot so far up your rear that it’ll come out of your mouth.” “Yeah! And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re trying to put your foot up my rear?” Blustering occurs in many forms. When it’s verbal, it’s easy to see and understand. Because words are used to convey one’s sentiments, which decreases the misperception of one’s intent. But blustering also occurs through one’s body language. A person portrays it by puffing out their chest, extending the outreach of their arms on both sides, and even in the stance that slightly projects one foot slightly ahead of the other. In each instance, that person is positioning himself for the pending aggression that’s he’s considering. And, depending on how heated the environment, he may not be consciously aware of the behaviors he’s committing. And that’s why you should take note. By doing so, you’ll have the opportunity to temper his behavior before it reaches the point of uncontrollability.

Eyes:

Darting – When someone is agitated, and they begin quickly scanning the environment with their eyes, they’re in assessment mode. This gesture alone does not indicate pending aggression on this person’s behalf. But coupled with other signs such as flaring nostrils, protruding chin, and fist/hand flexing, darting eyes lends more credence to the probability that pending aggression is increasingly heightening.

Narrowing – When someone’s eye focus becomes narrow, they’re lending more emphasis on the subject of their attention. That means they’re blocking out other distractions to assess what they might do next to thwart the unpleasantness they’re experiencing. When you see someone narrowing their eyes on you, raise your awareness of their pending intent. They may be in the process of becoming aggressive.

Pupil Dilation – Pupil dilation is another silent display that someone exhibits when they get excited. Dilation can occur from the natural excitement one experiences from being in a pleasant environment too. But you can instinctively tell by someone’s demeanor if they’re happy or agitated. That’s also the insight to seek to determine if they’re becoming annoyed by an adverse action they perceive stemming from you.

 

Flaring Nostrils:

Nostril flaring is one of the most telling signs indicating pending aggression. A person flares their nostrils as a way to get more oxygen into their bloodstream. And in adverse situations, that can be the preparation leading to aggression. The more the person engages in that act, the more they’re preparing to become aggressive.

 

Chin/Jaw:

An outward thrust chin is a silent signal stating that the owner of the action is displaying his desire to take a portion of your space. Conversely, when people tuck their chin, they’re demonstrating the need to protect themselves. Thus, you should perceive the outward thrust of someone’s jaw as saying, I’m not afraid of you. If they take a step(s) towards you while displaying that gesture, they’re becoming more defiant and more aggressive. You can stand your ground or back up. If you hold your position, you’ll be stating with your action that you’re not afraid of them either  – now what? In either case, be aware of where tension resides and adopt the measure that’s best suited to combat it.

 

Hand/Fist:

Flexing – If you observe someone flexing their hand in a negative environment, it may be an indication that they’re attempting to loosen up to get more blood flowing to that part of their body.

Tightening – When someone becomes excessively exasperated, they stiffen their hands, which can turn into fists. Thus, while observing the beginning of someone’s hands flexing, note the moment when their hands turn into fists. A heightening in potential aggression has occurred at that moment. And the person may be a moment or so from lashing out at you.

 

Reflection:

Like a snake, you can observe the lynchpin behavior of someone that’s in the process of striking out at you. In the snake’s case, it emits signals through its rattle, warning you of pending danger. Then, if you don’t vacate the surroundings, he strikes you. The same is true of a human. Initially, he gives warning through his body language to get you to back off. And, if you’re persistent at making him feel uneasy, he’ll strike at you.

To avoid harm’s way, note the mentioned signs that lead to aggression. As soon as you sense a verbal or physical attack is imminent, become more observant about the pace of its escalation. And remove yourself from the environment if possible. If that’s not possible, adopt a posture that’s more or less threatening than what’s confronting you. And be aware of the effect this has on your nemesis. In some cases, it will cause him to increase his efforts. In other situations, it may be the form of de-escalation needed to subdue an explosive situation that’s in the making. Know the difference to determine the best action to adopt. Because the optimum word is control – and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#BodyLanguage #Aggression #vulnerable #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiationexamples #Negotiationstrategies #negotiationprocess #negotiationskillstraining #negotiationtypes #negotiationpsychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #TheMasterNegotiator #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“What Is Your Comfort Level And Why It Matters” – Negotiation Insight

 

“What Is Your Comfort Level And Why It Matters”

He had a stomach swirling feeling. It was an internal alarm indicating that he was out of his comfort zone. At that point, he didn’t feel overly exasperated. Nevertheless, he knew he had to control his level of discomfort. He knew such feelings matters to one’s emotional wellbeing.

Are you aware of when your state of comfort is challenged – when your levels of uneasiness begin to alter your perspective and behavior? You should – those are the points at which you might begin to engage in negative behavior. And that’s why it matters.

The following are thoughts to consider to improve your comfort level and enhance your mental wellbeing. You’ll also uncover insights about your thought process. That will allow you to discover more about what matters to you and why.

 

Importance of Comfort:

Comfort, it’s something you constantly seek but don’t think a lot about until you become uncomfortable. You should note it more frequently. Because when it’s altered, your stability and wellbeing can become mired in self-emotional conflict. That can make you feel awkward in some environments. Not only should you know your level and degree of comfort, but you should also know what triggers it to go up or down. That insight allows you to gain greater control of yourself and the environments you’re in.

Going forward, note your emotional change based on your environments. Seek to understand why you feel more comfortable in some situations versus others. Before entering those that might cause you to experience discomfort, think about how you might obtain greater control of yourself and the environment. Look for common variables that you can use to become emboldened to assist in your assessment. By doing that, you’ll become empowered and gain an insightful introspection about yourself. [eut_single_image image_type=”image-link” image_mode=”medium” image=”32023″ link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fc-suitenetwork.com%2Fbecome-c-suite-network-executive-membership%2Fpricing-options%2F|||”]

Past Occurrences:

In considering your state of comfort, consider your current state of mind. Ask yourself why you have such feelings – what caused them – and what you might be associating from past occurrences that may be shadowing your perception. If you’re conflating past occurrences, especially if they’re negative, realize that you might be placing too much emphasis on the past. Separate the occurrence. Assess whether it causes the degree of angst as before the separation. You will have begun to control past triggers that might negatively sway your perspective. Doing that should allow you to become more at ease.

 

Controlling Your Mind Controls The Environment:

Before entering an environment, you have expectations about what might occur – how you might feel and what you might do. If it’s a new environment, you might experience a higher degree of angst than those that you’re more familiar with. Regardless of your emotional state, reassure yourself that more than likely you’ll live through the situation that you’ll find yourself in. Thus, there’s nothing worse than death that’ll occur to you.

Anything other than that is okay. So, assuage your mind – focus on the fact that you’ll learn something from being in that surrounding. By thinking like that, you’ll relieve the pressure from overthinking what might occur and how you’ll fair. That should allow you to mentally perceive yourself as flowing freer in the environment. You’re going to be a rock star … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

The negotiation process is about comfort and discomfort. When a negotiator feels comfortable about an offer or concession, he’s more likely to continue upon the same path. Conversely, one can use pain and discomfort as a tool to motivate the opposing negotiator to alter the path he’s on. Thus, the tool of comfort and how it’s used during a negotiation is something that you should give with great consideration. If you overlook it, you overlook an ally that you can use to advantage your negotiation position. Smart negotiators don’t waste this tool. Are you a smart negotiator?

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

#Negotiate #Emotion #Comfort #Level #Matters #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

“Comfort, something we all seek but don’t appreciate until it’s gone.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

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What Are You Waiting For?

“To achieve more, you must know what more is and why you’re waiting to acquire it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I want to be fit and in shape. But I don’t put forth the effort to exercise. Thus, I’m not in shape. I have low-energy. And my physical appearance could be better. Still, I want the results of looking good, feeling good, and being fit. I don’t know what I’m waiting for before committing the actions required to achieve those goals!” Those were the words spoken by an associate as he lamented his plight. Have you pondered such thoughts about the goals you’ve sought to achieve? Have you thought about the consequences that lie in wait tomorrow, as the result of not beginning the quest of your goals, today?

Do you know what you’re waiting for before moving in a more positive direction? It’s a question that everyone needs to evaluate when assessing why they’re not in a better place – at a better point in life. When you engage in activities that don’t support the goals you wish to achieve, you should ask yourself, what am I waiting for? When you find yourself veering off-track of a successful endeavor, take note of where you’re headed. And if you don’t like the distant destination that you’re headed towards, ask yourself, what am I waiting for before getting back on track.

To be more successful in life, you must be self-reliant. That means as the cliché states, you must adopt a mindset that states, “if it is to be, it’s up to me.”

Everyone becomes encumbered by life’s activities at times. And yet, everyone always spends their time doing what’s most important to them. I’ve issued that summons to individuals over time. Some have stated that they only participate in activities that advance their goals. When questioned about their engagements in activities that don’t progress their goals, they sheepishly admit that it does occur sometimes.

The point is, everything you engage in is the priority that you’ve chosen to invest your time. Because, you’re stating by the fact that you’re engaged in that activity that it’s the most important thing to you at that time – to thine self be true.

Recognize what you do as being what’s most important to you when you’re doing it. Don’t sugarcoat it! You’re only playing with your mind if you don’t acknowledge that fact. There’s no right or wrong or need to assess blame. Just realize what reality is. You can’t address a situation, good or bad unless you recognize it for what it is. Once you examine your actions in the light of reality, you’ll be in a better mental space to take corrective actions. But you’ll only do that if you really want to achieve that ‘thing’ that you say is so important to you. Once you start on the path of achievement and stick to it, you’ll feel better about yourself and the achievement of your goals … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation, timing plays a key role in when you should extend your offers and when you might obtain what you seek. Thus, you must become keenly attuned to your timing. If you hesitate in making a request, a demand, a concession (yes, they are different), you should question yourself as to what you’re waiting for. If you wait too long, you’ll miss your opportunity to acquire more. If you pursue too soon, you could meet the same fate or worse, lose what you’ve acquired.

It’s stated that timing is everything. That’s especially true when negotiating. Thus, always be mindful of how you utilize your time. And note the waiting period that you engage in as to why you wait sometimes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#waiting #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Be a Better Negotiator: Control Your Risky Positioning

“Taking risks can be risky if you don’t control the risks you take.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Positioning in a #negotiation impacts a #negotiator’s ability to #negotiate before the negotiation begins. Because the way you position yourself determines how the other negotiator will perceive you. And it’ll regulate your interactions. Thus, to be a better negotiator, you must #control any risky #positioning that might impact a negotiation.

Everyone considers what they might encounter before they engage in an activity – that’s especially true in negotiations. And it’s better you shape their perception before they do. Doing so delivers the image you wish them to have of you compared to the haphazard perspective they might create.

The following are examples to control your positioning before a negotiation occurs.

Hanging with Influencers:

You’re perceived as an influencer when you surround yourself with those that influence others – that allows you to become better positioned. To advantage your position, consider becoming seen with the influencers that’ll have the greatest impact on those that you wish to influence. That will improve your positioning based on how others perceive you.

Controlling Your Message:

People will attempt to control your message. And they may hijack its intent to serve a purpose that’s better aligned with their goals, not yours. To oppose their efforts …

  • Control others that attempt to control your message. Don’t let them brand you or your message if it doesn’t support your positioning – confront them when they oppose you.
  • Beware of ear-jackers – Ear-jackers are people that will eavesdrop on your conversations when they’re in your environment. Most likely, they’ll appear to be engaged in other activities. They may be seeking salacious information that they can twist to demean you or enhance their positioning (e.g. I heard him say ‘XYZ’. I knew there was another side to him that he doesn’t want the public to see.)
  • Observe what happens in slow motion. Because we’re bombarded with activities, sometimes we miss what’s before us – most occurrences happen over an extended period-of-time. Take note of the changes that occur around you daily. It’s the short-term changes that could become long-term detriments to your positioning that you should be aware of.
  • Be innovative – When you’re seen as an innovator, you’re viewed as someone that’s leading others to their future. If they perceive that as a benefit, they’ll follow you more readily. And when you’re at the negotiation table, they’ll be more willing to accept your offerings.
  • Control the flow of your messages. Always consider the impact one message will have on another when you send it into the realm of public opinion. If you initiate messages that are less important too frequently, messages that might have a greater impact on your positioning will be less potent – and the more important messages may miss your intended audience altogether.

Use Appropriate Words:

Words control emotions. And emotions control perceptions. To control your positioning better, control the words that control your message. As an example, depending on the situation, it may be beneficial to use the word squabble versus fight (e.g. we had a squabble) – that’s less impactful than, we had a fight. The exchange of those two words alters the perception of the situation.

Perception is Reality:

When it comes to controlling your positioning, perception is reality. Your integrity intentions can be in alignment with your actions and if someone taints it with their ill-will, you could become seen as someone with less integrity. That’ll impact the way the other negotiator interacts with you. That could be to the detriment of both of you and the negotiation.

Being a better negotiator starts first with how you’re positioned. It shapes the way you’re perceived at the negotiation table. It determines how the other negotiator will strategize to negotiate against you. And it will have an impact on how effective your negotiation efforts will be. To negotiate better, always pay careful attention to your messages and how they position you. Because, the better you position yourself per how you wish to be perceived, the easier the negotiation will be … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Right #Cure #Disasters #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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How to Stop a Thief From Taking Your Life

“Life’s most important factor is time. Thus, the way you use your time determines the life you’ll live.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Time is your most precious commodity. Once it’s gone, your life ends. Thus, your time is your life. What you do with it determines what your life will be.

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, every day a thief takes a little bit of your life away from you. Depending upon your complicity in his act, he takes a little or a lot. But he does so every day! Over time, his efforts add up to a staggering loss of your time, viability, and opportunities. Do you know who the thief is? Do you know how to stop him from taking your life? Are you even aware of what he’s doing to you?

For some, it may come as a surprise – for others, it won’t – the thief is you! You’re the one that’s allowing yourself to run awry with your time and your life – thus you can arrest those efforts that aren’t serving you. To do that, become more mindful of how you use your time.

How Your Time is Taken:

There’s a cost to allowing your time to become taken. Do you know what that cost is? Consider calculating the cost of your time in dollars. That should make the squandering of it more meaningful to you.

Every day you’re bombarded by distractive sources that cry out for your attention. They may show up in the form of a friend calling when you’re engaged in more productive activities. They may occur as something in the background that captures your attention that diverts your actions to something less productive. If you’re okay with having your attention diverted, that’s okay. Everyone needs diversions sometimes to re-energize themselves.

The point is, pay attention to anything that proves to be a distraction from endeavors that are more important. They’re your time stealers. And they’re the impediments that will prevent you from reaching higher heights. By the fact that you’re controlling the distractions that detour you from more important tasks should alert you to the need to exercise greater control over such occurrences.

How to Stop Your Time From Being Taken:

Everyone encounters time stealers. Some allow them to occur due to a needed diversion from what may be mundane – they may be seeking something that’s more exciting. Others may do so because they’re fatigued and don’t possess the mental energy required to maintain focus. No matter the reason that your halted, note it. There’s valuable feedback information contained in that reason. You can gain greater insight into yourself and what serves as your motivators.

When you catch yourself diverted from more viable tasks, one way to prevent yourself from losing valuable time is to say aloud, “stop thief”. Doing that will allow your conscious and subconscious mind to become more attuned to how and when you allow yourself to get off track. And you’ll become more aware of how to combat such time thefts.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Time is the one precious commodity that every negotiator has. Thus, to that degree, all negotiators start off evenly. Even if you’re pressured by time constraints, initially if the other negotiator is unaware of those constraints, you and she are on the same time paradigm. Therefore, the way you utilize your time through the offers you make determines the flow of the negotiation and the degree that it’s beneficial to you.

You can make up for the time that might become lost by anticipating the unexpected and planning for it. Then, should it occur, you’ll be prepared to address those situations without losing time. That’s one way to stop time thefts from preventing you from reaching your goals, which will assist you in achieving greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams

#stop #thief #life #Secrets #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Negotiator: Embrace Right Buy-In, Cure Stupid Hidden Disasters

“As a negotiator, getting the right buy-in helps you stop disasters before they occur.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

A good negotiator knows, when you embrace the right buy-in, you cure hidden disasters before they can occur.

For almost a year, they secretly planned the rollout. They touted it as a facelift that would change the name and position of the association. Doing so would give it a fresh look and appearance for the 21st century. But when the rollout occurred, the backlash was severe. All the money, time, expenses, and efforts that went into the new face of the association went down a drain of despair. The question that buzzed throughout the association was, how could this have happened? The response was when you embrace the right buy-in, you stop hidden disasters. And this disaster was easily avoidable.

First, as a negotiator, what do you think went wrong? What buy-in do you seek when thinking about the obstacles you might face in your negotiations? To the degree you obtain the right buy-in, you have a better chance for a successful outcome. To the degree you get the right buy-in at the right time, your chances of a successful outcome increases substantially.

Problem:

Secrecy – In the opening situation, the president of that association assembled a team of prominent members – all were members of the association. Their expertise stretched across the spectrum of branding, marketing, and social media. None were members of the vanguard that had watched over the association for decades. And the omittance of that group’s input was a silent blinking red light that foretold the death of the project.

Negotiating in secret environments can be beneficial. It can prevent unwanted distractions from slowing the progress of the negotiation. It also serves to gather the buy-in of stakeholders that might torpedo the negotiation. Thus, secrecy can be a form of control – it can also be the deliverer of disaster if not used right.

Forgotten power players – The name of the association had stood for four decades. And some of the revered founding members were still active in the association. When the new name was revealed, that vanguard was the catalyst that caused the committee’s efforts, and the new name, to meet a swift death. Had the committee consulted this vanguard, the committee would have known its efforts were doomed. They could have avoided a hidden disaster.

Consideration:

Had the committee charged with creating a new name involved the vanguard of the association and brought them along during the planning stage, at minimum, the new name would have stood a greater chance of becoming implemented successfully. At worse, the committee would have known that the new name was in trouble. Losses could have been averted at an earlier point and resources could have been spared.

The challenge a negotiator faces when employing secrecy is making sure the right people are involved. If they’re not involved, hidden disasters may lie in wait.

Always take into consideration who might be involved in a negotiation even if they’re not physically or visually involved in it. Seek those individuals that might have a stake in the outcome of the negotiation no matter how small you think their stake might be. There’ll be times when you won’t know the power source behind some people’s means – that’s something else to consider. There’ll also be times when smaller stakeholders will combine forces, which will present a more powerful force for you to contend with.

Conclusion:

Getting the right buy-in is a vital component of every negotiation – even when it’s just you and the other negotiator. Doing so when you have multiple participants is even more vital to the negotiation’s success. Therefore, when you assess the impact of the buy-in component during your negotiation planning stage, consider its impact thoroughly … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Right #Cure #Disasters #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Are There More Powerful Hidden Secrets Concealed in You?

The more powerful you are, the more powerful you’ll be. To become more powerful quicker, unlock the powerful hidden secrets that reveal your power.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

The evening was turning ugly – It appeared an impasse was at hand. Then, Amie spoke – “since John said he was not trying to insult you and he apologized, how would you feel if what you perceived to be an insult hadn’t occurred? Would you feel better?” With that, Harry said, “I’d feel a lot better.” Then she said, “well, let’s continue from the point of you feeling a lot better.” Everyone smiled, became congenial, and continued with that demeanor for the rest of the evening. Amie’s friend turned to her and said, “I didn’t know you had hidden powers. Are there more powerful hidden secrets concealed in you?”

Tapping Into Your Powers:

Do you know what hidden secret abilities you have? Just because others can’t see your hidden powers doesn’t mean you have to keep them concealed from yourself. Do you know how to tap into them? Those questions were meant to make you think. Because, if you don’t know there are hidden secret abilities in you, you won’t know how to tap into them. To reveal them …

  • First, sense that there’s more power living inside of you. That’s the catalyst, the starting point, at which you’ll move it to a higher sense of self-awareness. To do that …
  • Note how you feel in different environments based on the people you’re with (e.g. their status, their skills, your relationship to them, how they perceive you, how you want them to perceive you).
  • Observe how you feel when others give you feedback through what they say, how they say it, and/or what they do when you’re in different environments. In some cases, you’ll become emboldened. At other times, you may shrink. Take note of why you experienced either. That will allow you to uncover more of your hidden powers.

Embracing Your Powers:

Everyone possesses hidden abilities. You have such secrets concealed in you too. Over time, you’ve accumulated coping strategies that have allowed you to become more powerful. In some cases, you’ve held some of that power back for fear of what might occur if you unleashed it. If you identify fear as a source that prevents you from being more powerful, ask yourself what are you fearful of. And what’s the worst possible outcome that could occur if you confronted that fear. Again, you’ll be tapping into the source of the hidden power within you. That’ll be the beginning process of releasing that power and giving it life.

As you get older, you become more emboldened – you castoff concerns about what others think of you. You state, take me for who and what I am. The point is, you don’t have to wait until you’re older. You can do that right now! Doing so will allow you to unleash more of the powerful hidden secrets concealed in you … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Sometimes, when negotiators negotiate, they have a tendency to be overly adventuress or overwhelmed at the negotiation table. In either case, their power, or lack of, is the cause of that state. Therefore, you must be aware of what’s motivating you during your negotiations. Too much false bravado can sink you. Too little means you’re leaving too much on the table.

Negotiations occur in every aspect of your daily life. Thus, the better you negotiate in any environment, the greater the outcomes you’ll have. If you’d like to have those greater outcomes occur more frequently, learn to tap into more of the powerful secrets concealed in you.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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His Body Language Screamed “Alert: Gullible Liar!”

“Reading body language is like seeing someone’s thoughts. Reading body language accurately gives you the ability to know what those thoughts are.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Something about his body language caught my attention. It screamed, liar!

A man entered my car on the train and announced to everyone that he needed $15 for a train ticket to get to his 13-year old daughter. He said she was at a location where the train ended. He went on to say that someone had already given him $2.

One person gave the requester $5. From there, the requester walked through the rest of our car seeking more contributions. One gentleman said to him, ‘sit beside me – I’ll buy you a ticket.’ The requester said, okay, I’ll be right back and kept walking – he made his way out of our car and into the next one on the train. The gentleman that offered to buy the ticket and I looked at one another and smiled. We knew the requester would not be returning, and he didn’t return.

 

What body language gestures do you think the requester might have displayed? The man that gave our train friend $5 was taken in by his story. On the other hand, the man that offered to purchase a ticket suspected the requester’s story was illegitimate.

When reading body language, be observant of your intuition and a person’s gestures. Your intuition is very attuned to detecting lies.

Intuition:

Intuition is a nonverbal silent signal that secretly conveys information. If the signal was audible, you’d liken it to a knock at the door, the ringing of the phone, or a loud noise. In all cases, it attempts to attract your attention – it seeks your higher sense of awareness.

When you have an emotional sensation whose source you can’t identify, don’t discard it. Instead, raise your sense of awareness to become more attuned to the message that’s seeking your attention.

Body Language:

For a perspective of someone’s intent, observe their eyes, head, hands, feet movements.

Eyes – The requester on the train searched people with his eyes to detect easy marks. He was looking for those that smiled and made eye contact. People that lie will go to the extreme of displaying too much or too little eye contact. They may display too much because they’ve heard that people who lie avoid eye contact. In the latter case, they’re not aware of that. So, since they know they’re lying, they attempt to avoid eye contact to conceal it.

Head – When the requester thought someone was empathetic to his plight, he locked onto that suspect and nodded his head in that direction. The head nodding was a subliminal message stating, you and I understand one another.

Hands – Always watch someone’s hands when they’re talking. In the case of the requester, I noted that his hands moved away from him when he professed the desire to get to his daughter. And they stayed there. Had he gestured in the distance where she was supposed to be and then drew his hands back to his heart or chest as he professed his desire to get to her, he would have been more believable. As it was, his gestures said, there is no daughter at the end of the line. He just wants everyone to think there is.

Feet – When it came to the requester’s plea, once he detected that those close to him would not assist, he made quick movements to get away from that area. When someone is lying, they’ll display feet movements that attempt to put distance between themselves and the lying environment they’re in.

Being able to read body language gives you an advantage in any environment – that’s especially true when negotiating. If you’d like to have x-ray type vision that allows you to see inside of someone’s mind, enhance your ability to read body language … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You a Pleasant Experience Easily Forgotten?

“To be someone’s pleasant experience, you must evoke pleasure in them. Its longevity depends on how you extend it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“What was his name – you know, that guy that made me laugh so much? He was very pleasant. I wish I could remember his name.”

How many times has someone said that about you? If you don’t know, it’s probably because the person that made the statement never reached out to you. You were easily forgotten. No one wants to think they’re easily forgotten – especially after they’ve bestowed pleasant experiences upon someone.

I offer the following suggestions to become more memorable.

  1. Take the time to understand how individuals experience pleasure – Everyone doesn’t have the same sensations and thus, people experience pleasure differently. To put someone in a pleasant state of mind, you must understand their perspective (i.e. what’s funny, what’s sad, what they are seeking, what moves them). Once you have that insight, you’ll have a better idea of how to inflame their pleasure. And they’ll be more likely to remember you as the source that provided it.

 

  1. When someone is in a festive mood, say your name several times during the conversation. As an example, say, “I know you might think, oh Greg your self-effacing humor is hilarious – but Greg says, for me, it’s not hilarious, it’s my life!” (Do that with a shrug of exasperation to add more meaning and humor to your words. Also, using the ‘third person’ (i.e. “Greg says …”) can add a sense of comedy to your statements.). They’ll remember you easier if you repeat your name because your name will become more infused in their mind. And they’ll associate your name with the occurrence.

 

  1. Be engaging to the degree that your demeanor ignites emotions. People become moved to action via the emotions they experience and feel. To be more memorable, seek to arouse pleasant emotions that make people light up – you can detect this in the smile they display. Once they’re in such a state, keep them there through your actions as long as possible.

 

  1. To connect better, match the body language of those you’re connecting with. You may be familiar with the phrase, people like people that are like themselves. There’s truth in that statement because, psychologically, if you’re like someone, they see a reflection of themselves in you. You can enhance the connection when someone’s experiencing pleasure by getting closer to them physically, making the same body gestures they make (i.e. hand movements, facial expressions, reactions), and speaking at the same pace and rhythm. You’ll influence their subliminal perspective by doing that. And that’ll make you more memorable.

 

  1. When people experience pleasure, they associate whoever is around them with that experience. To be more memorable during such occasions, touch people in a manner that will make them feel good about you being with them – I’m not suggesting anything that’s inappropriate. The more sensations you ignite in them, the more memorable you’ll be.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Not only do you shape a negotiation by what you say, and how you say it, you also shape it through the emotional arousal you awaken in the other negotiator. Thus, to endear yourself, make people remember the pleasant moments they have as you’re negotiating. When you reach a rough patch in the negotiation, you can attempt to put them back into a more pleasurable state by invoking the happier moments they’ve experienced with you. Doing that will help ease the tension in the negotiation and make it a more pleasurable experience. That will also cause others to remember you more fondly … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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How to Use Disinformation to Negotiate Better

“Disinformation is meant to alter your perception of the truth. To combat it, dissolve it before it dissolves you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

You set the stage for any negotiation with information. That’s called positioning. The way you present that information, and it’s content, shape the persona the other negotiator has of your negotiation power, resources, and abilities. #Disinformation plays a vital role in shaping that persona – using it strategically can help you negotiate better.

Disinformation is used in planning wars, corporate espionage, and in the planning stages of negotiations. Think for a moment about the term #FakeNews. What comes to mind? That phrase has become a form of disinformation.

The following is how you can use disinformation to improve your negotiation efforts.

Creating a Disinformation Campaign:

To create disinformation campaigns, start by disseminating information in small cycles first – you want the target to become familiar with it. That’ll make him more susceptible to believing it and the information that follows. Over time, expand it, its believability to the truth, and its cycles. To have the greatest effect on the target, have information disseminated in places that they frequent (e.g. social media post, news outlets, radio, etc.). Doing so will impact their belief as to the validity of the information (i.e. I see/hear it everywhere – so it must be true).

Psychology of Disinformation:

For disinformation to be viable, tie it loosely to the beliefs of your target. People become swayed more easily if they have a preconceived belief about something they accept as already being truthful. So, if you associate your disinformation with their currently held beliefs, they’ll accept your information more readily. The trick is to make your information just within the outer realms of their beliefs. That’s the setup to having them stretch their beliefs as you later present insights further outside of it. Your efforts should become geared to having them expand their beliefs to the point of easily accepting the new insights you present as the truth.

Combating Disinformation:

As you know or may have discovered, disinformation is a powerful mental tool. Thus, while employing it, you must be mindful about its deployment against you.

To improve your plight when disinformation is used against you, ask yourself the following questions.

  1. Consider the originating source of the information. Ask yourself, what belief is this information attempting to form in my mind or in the mind of my supporters?
  2. How was the information delivered? Did it arrive through a source that has proven to be believable in the past? Is that source being manipulated?
  3. What new paradigms is this information attempting to create and who benefits from it?
  4. To what degree are others attempting to alter my perception for the benefit of who they’re serving?
  5. What happens if I ignore the information?

Posing such questions to yourself and your confidants will help you evaluate the information and its potential validity. I’m not suggesting you become paranoid. What I’m suggesting is you not readily accept information at face value as the truth. There are too many ways to get disinformation into today’s environment. Guard the door that keeps it away from you.

Disinformation is used in all realms of negotiation. And, there is a multitude of ways that it’s used. Therefore, the better you become at utilizing it, and knowing how to thwart its use against you, the better you’ll become as a negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Disinformation #FakeNews #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions