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When Should You Act More Like A Stubborn Child

“Childlike behavior can be advantageous to adults when adults use them in an adult-like manner.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He was told that he should not act like a stubborn child. Then he became more obstinate.” Those were the words exchanged by associates as they discussed the behavior of a friend of theirs.

When they were children, most adults possessed a limitless amount of imagination and a boundless degree of determination. As they became older, more mature, their childlike actions were abandoned so that they could be perceived as fitting into their environments. Unknowingly, conformity to those environment norms may have cost them opportunities.

Do you recall your childhood? When you sought a specific outcome, how determined were you to achieve it? How many ‘adult rules’ did you break in your efforts to uncover the solution to your quest? Then, you got older and supposedly wiser, which meant, you left those childish ways behind. Truth be known, those childish ways served you well then and they can serve you well, now.

When you find yourself in situations that you really want to get to the bottom of why certain actions occurred, or if you want to enhance the probability of a particular outcome, be persistent in uncovering a solution.

The point is, you will only receive in life what your actions indicate you’re willing to put forth to achieve. If something is denied you and you don’t put up a fight to get it, you send the signal to the holder of that source that what you sought wasn’t really that important to you. Either way, you’ve set the stage for future interactions and degree that you’ll fight for what you want. Thus, if you give up easily when requesting something, the person to whom you make that request knows that he only has to say no a few times and you’ll slither back into your den of mediocrity. Your hopes for future opportunities will lackluster and you’ll have no one to blame except yourself.

When it comes to achieving more in life, when appropriate, consider acting like you did when you were a child. Ask why, how come, who else, type of questions. You’ll be rewarded with greater outcomes in life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Some negotiators use stonewalling tactics to keep you from reaching your goals. They may do so to enhance their negotiation position. If you use probing questions (e.g. why can’t that be done, who else might be able to approve this, what do you suggest we do to avoid this impasse), you’ll receive greater outcomes from your negotiation efforts. That’s true because you’ll acquire more insight into what’s really behind the other negotiator’s efforts to disallow your request. Once you know that, you’ll be better positioned to hone in on the discovery of what he’d rather keep hidden. Your probing with questions, like you did when you were a child, will reveal those hidden opportunities and bring them to light.

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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What Power Source Is Being Used to Scare You?

“The only time you should be afraid of power is when you give it to someone you don’t trust.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“They don’t care that I’ve lost my job. All they want is their money!” Those were the heavy words of a tear-faced man recounting his unenviable position to someone from whom he was seeking a loan.

Are you being scared by someone? Do you recognize their source of power as positional or situational? The way you confront someone should be based on their power source and how they’re using it.

Those possessing positional power, as an example your boss, will only be able to maintain that power while you’re in their domain. The boss may use as a scare tactic the threat of termination if you don’t achieve his goals, which will threaten your well-being and sense of security.

With situational power, the holder only has sway as long as the situation that gave him his power exists. Once the situation has abated so too does his power. Thus, an automobile mechanic only has power over you until your vehicle is repaired. It’s during that tenure that he has the opportunity to scare you. That might be in the form of telling you something dire has occurred with your vehicle that will require ‘x’ amount of money to repair. The more dependent you are on him repairing the vehicle, the more power you give him to scare you in the interim.

While positional power can possess some of the same characteristics as situational power, situational power will tend not to last as long as positional power.

Positional Power

When efforts are made to scare you through positional power, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That means, don’t be an easy target. Position yourself as someone that’s savvy and someone that will extract a toll if someone picks on you.

Situational Power

We’ve all been caught in a moment of despair. The way you present yourself at that moment will be the factor that signals how others should deal with you. Thus, with the mechanic, it would not behoove you to discuss the important meeting you have in a few days for which you’ll need your vehicle. If you give him such insights, you’re only placing yourself in a more vulnerable position.

Keep in mind that sometimes people will use scare tactics to manipulate you. Their degree of success will lie in how you present yourself and how you rebuff their efforts. The better prepared you are to recognize their source of power, the better you’ll be prepared to combat their power source … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Negotiations are all about power. It’s the perception of power that determines how one acts in a negotiation. Therefore, negotiators use different techniques to shape the perception of their power depending on the circumstances (e.g. scarcity/abundance, loss/gain, fear/safety, etc.)

If you become adept at identifying power sources, how it’s used, and how long it might last, you can position yourself to thwart it at your chosen point in a negotiation. You will be the one in the power position, using the trapdoor of hidden knowledge to scare others.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#powersource #YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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Who’s Shaping Your Perspective?

“Your thought process is shaped by the filter through which you view life. To better understand it, understand who controls the lens through which your thought process is filtered.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really know what shapes your opinions and perspectives?

Most people don’t like to be told how to think. They want to maintain their independence and being told what to think infringes upon that. Nevertheless, most people don’t realize that they’re being primed to think a particular way, based on who and what they allow to become part of their thinking process.

No one has to tell you how to think in order to influence your thought process. Instead, all they have to do is tell you what to think about. Once you accept their premises, they’ve begun to steer your thought process towards one direction versus another. That’s the reason why you should be mindful of where your information comes from. Those sources have their own bent on what reality is. As they pass their perspectives to you, they’re also passing on the perspectives of how you should think about a situation.

In order to be more open-minded in your thought process, be more open-minded about the sources from which you gather information. You’ll be able to have an open mind by listening to the perspectives of others from a pro and con point of view. Once you do that, you’ll be better informed and able to understand any point of view from a more concise outlook.

People will always attempt to sway your thoughts to those that appeal to theirs. There’s nothing unnatural about that. It’s a form of validation per the way they think.

The point is, always maintain an open mind by being willing to listen to opinions that might differ from yours. The value of doing so will come in the form of your mind becoming more expanded. That will allow you to expand your thought processes even more, which in turn will allow you to understand the perspective of others better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, you must keep an open mind about how you’re thinking. In order to negotiate more effectively, you need to understand the thought process of the other negotiator too, and how she came to have that mindset; you can influence her mindset by what you suggest she think about. Once you have the insight by which she thinks, you’ll have a better understanding of why she adopts the stances she takes and why she makes the offers that she extends. The added benefit will be in being able to understand her better. At a minimum, that should allow you to have more empathy for her and her position. If you can get her to reciprocate, both of you will be able to engage in the negotiation from a more civil and open process. A silent benefit of that will be a less stressful negotiation, and when it comes to a negotiation, the more stress you can remove from it, the easier the negotiation becomes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

 

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Are You Being Hurt by the Perception of Power?

“Power is perceptional and fluid. As it shifts, it’s strengthened or diluted. Know the direction of its flow when making decisions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Always recognize when you’re in a state of euphoria and control your actions appropriately.

“He was great! I feel energized! Now, I believe I can accomplish all of my goals. That’s why I bought his $4,999 Super Deluxe Program!”

Such were the words of a young man in his late 20s. He had just attended a seminar where he was pumped up, while unknowingly his wallet was being deflated. In a few short months, he’d come to regret spending his money on that Deluxe Program. By then he’d be jobless and unable to pay his rent.

How are you victimized by the influence of perceived power? To what degree are you mentally manipulated by it?

When you sense power, it can be like an aphrodisiac. It stirs up arousal deeply in your soul. It releases endorphins within you and makes you momentarily feel like you rule the world. Yeah, it’s a good feeling! The problem or challenge that you might consider is, what form of manipulation are you under when you’re having such sensations and what will be the cost that you pay later?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, pumped up by the environment you’re in, realize what’s happening to you. You’re in a state of euphoria. While in that state your normal mode of rationalization is hijacked. You see yourself, and you become something that’s bigger than normal; you become and feel invincible.

The reason it’s so important to recognize when you find yourself in such a state is due to the actions you might commit while in that mindset. First, it’s a feeling of being on a natural high, which you want to maintain psychologically. That means you’ll engage in behaviors to sustain that feeling. You’ll even engage in behaviors that may later prove to be to your detriment. Then, when it’s time to pay the piper, you may experience insufficient funds to do so.

No matter what environment you’re in, always aspire to maintain self-control. That means, control your emotions and don’t let your emotions control you, or your actions. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, one ploy that negotiators use is an offer that appears to be too good. At first, you may be skeptical of it and upon deeper examination adopt the adage of, one should not look a gift horse in the mouth (i.e. accept it for what it is and be thankful). Some negotiators will even disguise this ‘gift’ as a mistake they made that turns out to be to your benefit. The purpose of the ‘gift offering’ is to get you into a state of euphoria so you disconnect your normal reasoning process.

Suffice it to say, the more aware you are of controlling your emotions in a negotiation, the sharper will be your decision-making process. You’ll be less likely manipulated by the misperception of perceived power, which means you’ll be less likely to be victimized by it.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #Relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement