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Negotiations – How Not To Be Cowered By A Bully

“A bully is someone that attempts to pain you, to relieve the pain in himself.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“That was a stupid question!”

Those were the words uttered by someone who considered himself to be superior to the person that posed the question. Such a response can also be the positioning attempts of a bully.

When negotiating, you need to know how not to be cowered by a bully. Doing so will allow you to negotiate more effectively, maintain a more peaceful state of mind, and reduce the overall level of stress you might possess at the negotiation table.

This article discloses insights that will allow you to be better prepared to deal with a bully in your negotiations. It can also serve as a booster for your degree of confidence when dealing with such a person.

Know when someone is truly attempting to bully you.

As I’ve stated in other articles that I’ve written, before assuming someone is attempting to bully you, be sure your assumptions are accurate. This can be accomplished by asking outright if the other negotiator is trying to bully you and/or stating that you feel bullied; the choice you adopt will be dependent on the type of person you’re engaged with. In the case of someone that’s just aggressive, and not a bully, if you state that you’re feeling bullied and say so with a smile on your face, that may alert him that he needs to become subdued.

Understand the thought process behind a bully’s effort to bully you.

You also need to understand what a bully thinks of you. Ask yourself, does he perceive me to be an easy target, someone that will back down at the first sign of aggression, or is he testing me to see how I’ll react? Having this insight will reveal the options you might utilize to combat his efforts. You should have gathered information about the bullying efforts that he’s used in other situations, which means you should be prepared for how he might negotiate with you. But, in case you haven’t, be nimble enough to have strategies at the ready, to deter his bullying attempts.

Consider his source of leverage/power.

Power is fluid. That means it changes from moment to moment. If you understand the source of his power, if you can’t attack him, you can attack it. This is done by letting that source know that it will have a price to pay, as the result of the bullying activities of its associate. Knowing his sources of power will also allow you to gain leverage by simply mentioning the fact that you’re aware of who his ‘backers’ are.

In a negotiation, a bully is as strong as he and you agree he is. Thus, to the degree that either perspective is altered, so is the perspective of the bully’s power. Therefore, if you know you’ll be in an environment in which someone may attempt to bully you, especially if they’ve displayed such tendencies in the past, be prepared with retorts stating, “you don’t want to try that with me. I bite back!” Just be mindful of not escalating a situation passed a point that you can’t control. Such rebukes will allay the bully’s perspective and thoughts about picking on you, which means, he’ll more than likely engage with you in a more respectful manner … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Bully #Bullying #HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #hardpower #HowToHandleObjections

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Best Practices Body Language Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Address Objections In A Negotiation

“Objections are used in an attempt to see what one can obtain. Before addressing objections know what you want and what you’re willing to forgo to acquire what you need.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

I’ve addressed hundreds of thousands of objections over the course of my negotiation career. Objections should be addressed with the mindset of information gathered about the party with whom you’re negotiating; that includes silent partners that are not at the negotiation table, foils that might be aligned with your negotiation opponent to perform nefarious functions, the demeanor of the negotiator(s), and the culture of the negotiator’s organization. Such insights, along with reading one’s body language, will lend credence to the validity and viability of the person making objections during a negotiation. That, in turn, will allow you to discern how important an objection is, versus it being a possible ploy, created to distract you from something that is more beneficial to your position.

Handling Objections:

Before addressing objections, always be aware of the attempts of others on the opposing negotiator’s team to hype them; remember, these attempts could stem from people that are not at the negotiation table. Hyping objections can be in the form of giving them the appearance of being more valuable or dire than they are, for the purpose of gaining insight into how you might react to such attempts. Keeping that in mind, follow the steps below when addressing objections in your negotiations.

1. When the first objection is posed, assess its veracity to determine if you should address it at all. If the other negotiator insists upon having it addressed, note his body language before proceeding to the next step. In particular, you should observe if he looks directly at you with a smile or scowl, if he looks through you as though he’s in a daze, or if he makes such a request in a timid manner. In all such cases, appraise the degree to which any of these gestures might be ploys.

a.) Looking directly at you is a sign that he’s focused. A smile can indicate that he wants to convey a friendly/casual perspective. A scowl may be an indication of a more serious projection and/or one to set the stage to take his request more seriously.

b.) Looking through you in a daze could imply that his mind is somewhere else and the fact that he’s testing you as a ploy.

c.) Making the request in a timid manner could belie the fact that he doesn’t possess a strong demeanor. He might also be examining you to see if you’ll attempt to take advantage of his docile demeanor.

2. Ask the other negotiator to cite all of his objections. Your goal is to get them out in the open. Do this by requesting what else he’s concerned about. If warranted, have him detail why he thinks his objections are valid. Observe hidden insights gleaned from his body language and nonverbal signals, as mentioned in step 1. By doing this, you’ll gain a sense of direction he has for the negotiation.

3. Once you’ve garnered enough insights about the purpose and value he has for citing his objections, have him prioritize them. Then, address one that’s lower on his priority list to see if that has more weight than disclosed. Couple this tactic with the outcome you seek for the negotiation. Continue this process to the successful conclusion of the negotiation.

In any negotiation, you should know what you’re dealing with before you attempt to deal with it. Such is the case when dealing with objections. Thus, by implementing the suggestions above, you’ll be better positioned to keep in check those objections intended to dissuade your attention from what’s more important. That, in turn, will allow you to be more laser focused on addressing the real objections that will impact the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HandlingObjections #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #hardpower #HowToHandleObjections

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