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Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness

Ever Been Bullied? It Could Be Your Fault!

Wait, before you start sending hate mail, please hear me out.  As someone who was bullied for years, I learned to cope with the humiliation and despair, but always felt there was something “wrong” with me.  When other people wanted to make me feel better they would almost always say the same thing, “Oh honey, there is nothing wrong with you, those kids are just mean…it’s not your fault…they are jealous of you.”  I was a sweet and loving kid that would never do anything to hurt someone.  So, it was easy to understand that it wasn’t my fault, but it was much harder for me to believe there wasn’t something wrong with me.  Oh, and jealous?  Jealous of what??  Jealous of feeling less?  Jealous of feeling ugly and rejected?  Jealous of being laughed at by bystanders that watched and did nothing?  Jealous of being scared out of my wits to go on the playground every day?  That statement “they’re just jealous of you” was just a straight up lie!  Don’t ever say that to someone being bullied!

If you have ever been bullied, you understand what I am talking about right now.  You didn’t want to hear another rousing encouragement attempt, no matter how sweet it is that they tried.  You wanted to know what was wrong with you that would make people treat you that way!  Well, I am here to tell you that there was, and maybe IS, something wrong with you that is causing all the bullying, but it may not be what you think.

Look at your life and ask yourself if the same type of people keep showing up.  I am going to share some traits and see if this describes those people that seem to latch on to you.

  • Has no patience with “stupid” people and at times tries to make you feel stupid
  • May complain about a clumsy waitress and be rude when not waited upon properly
  • Always finds a way to bring the conversation back to themselves
  • Has a constant need to be admired and respected, almost demanding of it
  • They don’t seem to have any kind of empathy toward “weaker” people
  • Always must be right and has a very difficult time believing they are wrong
  • Must always be the center of attention and can be quite charming

Think through your life and imagine the people that bullied you.  Did they have any of these traits?  Can you identify anyone in your life that you are currently dealing with that meets more than a few of these traits?

Now I want to ask you about your own personal traits.  Do you have any of the following traits?

  • Get overwhelmed when there are a lot of people around you
  • If there is someone angry in the room, you feel like any minute it will be turned toward you
  • When talking with someone new, you feel like they are going to “figure you out?”, so you keep a wall up and feel awkward
  • When you are around sad people, you can feel yourself getting depressed yourself
  • It is difficult for you to watch someone doing something embarrassing and you can feel panicked for them

Now, I know that I can’t fix everyone’s issues with this article, but what I hope to do is send you on a journey of understanding.  I believe that if you can put all the pieces together, life could begin to make more sense to you.  Even if you have never been bullied before, what I am about to share could change your life!

Every single one of us, broken down to our smallest particle, is made of energy.  We learned it in science class as an elementary student.  Protons, neutrons, electrons, you remember those elements, don’t you?  You and I are made of these elements.  It has been proven scientifically that even our thoughts have energy.  It can be physically measured!  Now I am going to share a term that you may or may not have heard of that has gotten a lot of attention over the last ten years.  It is called The Law of Attraction and it was brought into the light by a cheesy movie called “The Secret”.  It was mainly focused on getting rich and learning to get everything you ever dreamed of by simply thinking of it and feeling strongly about it as you thought about it.  That is the simple message, but most people think it’s a bunch of bull and would never stick with it long enough to see anything come to pass as the movie would suggest.  If it was true that we could just think it and it will happen, then everyone would win the lottery, be driving Lamborghinis, and be on the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!  Right?  Well, even though there are a lot of holes in the movie, the Law of Attraction has merit and is worth looking deeper into to gain understanding of the world around us.

So, back to bullying and how it could be your fault.  The traits we identified earlier are the traits of people on opposite ends of the energy spectrum.  The first guy, who always must be respected and admired and seems to have no empathy toward others, is considered a “narcissist” or someone with narcissistic tendencies.  The second guy, who is uncomfortable around lots of people or becomes panicked when someone else is being embarrassed or harassed is called an “Empath” or “highly sensitive”.  People can fall anywhere on the energy scale, but the two described above are the extremes on both ends.  If you are a Sci-Fi nerd like me, it can be looked at as “the dark side” or “the force”.  Those that are on the dark side can appear to be good, but the energy they draw from is extremely negative and self-serving.  Those who have the force has potential for great power for good in the world and have an almost magical sense of feeling the energies around them.  Unfortunately, like in Star Wars, people who once were driven by the force can turn to the dark side when they are overwhelmed by the negative energy.  They can become cynical, negative, and hateful, even though they hold the power to be extremely positive and lift up the people around them.  Once the force is understood and these empaths begin to control it, they can become the light in the room instead of feeling awkward.  They can instantly feel the pain the people around them are feeling and pull them out of the darkness!

So what does this have to do with bullying?  I believe that most children that are being bullied are those meant to bring good to the world.  They have a special gift that God gave them that is not only extremely special, but can be used to bring about amazing change to the world around them!  When told “it isn’t your fault”, they know intuitively that this response is not exactly true.  While they can reason that they haven’t done anything to bring it on, they know that something is wrong with them and it is happening because of them.  It took me years to put the pieces together and understand the power I have and the reasons why I was bullied as a child and felt so uncomfortable around people.  I didn’t understand that I was special or had any kind of power.  I somehow had the ability to allow the bullying to “pass through me” and still love the person doing the bullying, but it still played havoc on my mind.  I still didn’t understand why!  There were times growing up that I was confident and felt the power, but as soon as I felt like something good was happening, it would be squashed by someone attacking me and throwing negativity on me.  I felt many times like a wounded dog about to be torn apart by the pack.  So, I learned to become numb and allow people to treat me badly, but cope with it.  My power for doing good was kept within the walls of my identity as a person not allowed to become happy.

If you have ever been bullied, then you are probably identifying with me right now.  That is a good thing, because I am here to tell you that you have something very special that needs to be understood and cultivated.  You have an ability to do great good and the reason all of this has been happening to you is because you draw people from the opposite end of the spectrum into your life.  These narcissists lack empathy and it is true that opposites attract in this case.  They love to attach themselves to you in some way to literally draw the energy out of you!  They want to make you feel less, so they can feel superior!

Can you see it?  I don’t know where you are in your life right now, but I am imagining that the people reading this article will range from those who were never bullied that are angry at my title to those that were intrigued or maybe even excited that somebody finally said it.  You may have already been pulled over to the dark side and feel like you have already completely lost your mind.  To this person I want to say that it is not too late to stop being controlled by the negativity that bombarded you and continues to be drawn into your life.  The great thing about the Law of Attraction is that you can choose to end the negativity and start moving in the other direction.  You can learn to remove those thought patterns that keep drawing more junk into your life and start seeing a brighter future.  It won’t happen overnight as the movie might suggest, but if you build one block at a time and realize how special you are, then it can happen over time.  For some, it may happen very quickly and you will learn to walk freely in your newly found power!

If this article is resonating with you, then I would encourage you to study The Law of Attraction and the personalities on the energy spectrum.  Specifically study the “Empath” and the “Narcissist” and allow God to direct you back into what He intended for you.  Although you may not know what it is yet, I can tell you without question that you have a great purpose to change the world around you in a positive way.  Like Luke Skywalker, you will bring balance to the force and maybe even free a Darth Vader or two!

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Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Industries

5 Ways Contractors Trick You Out of Your Money

We have all heard the horror stories about the Big Bad Contractor!  Contractors, in general, are viewed as dishonest and homeowners shake in their britches when something around the house breaks. It is unfortunate, because I have met a lot of contractors and most of them just want to do a good job for their clients and be able to sleep at night. They are normal people who picked a profession that has a lot of variables and it is a balancing act that is very difficult to maintain 24/7, 365, without issues.  

Imagine trying to juggle multiple objects of varying size, weight, and angles, while someone from the sidelines throws in more objects. That is what it is like to be a contractor! Joe fell off a ladder and delays the tile job, the plumber got stuck at an emergency and needs to schedule his part for another day, the homeowner had to reschedule last minute and yet demands the contractor gets done with the project by the end of the week or they will write a bad review.

The contractor’s job is volatile at best and the moment they lose control of the juggling act, they are labeled as bad and their reputation is threatened with the homeowner’s ability to review them or spread a warning about them across social media.

I always try my best to share things like this, because I think homeowners need to understand, going into any relationship with a contractor, that there needs to be a little bit of levity on their part.  With all these objects being juggled, it is likely that the contractor might forget to call them back or would be behind on getting them an estimate. When your hands are on fire, getting the fire put out as quickly as possible, with the least amount of pain as possible, becomes the contractors reaction to being overwhelmed.  In other words, they have to quickly focus on what causes the most pain for everyone.

Do they finish fixing an issue that has them trapped under a house in the mud, or stop everything and run back to their truck to call and say they are going to be an hour late?  The homeowner waiting for them to make the time window doesn’t care what the issue is, they have dinner at 6pm and this rotten, lying, so and so, didn’t even have the dignity to call and say they would be running late.  Is this person a bad contractor? Ask the homeowner that didn’t get the call.

Now, on the other side, let’s look at what people would usually view as a good contractor. The company has tons of resources, a fleet of trucks, can guarantee they can be on time, and when the technician arrives they are super friendly and look very professional. They must be good, because I see them on TV all the time and they offer financing and they are the official contractor to my favorite sports team. When you look on Google, they have hundreds of 5 star reviews!  THIS has to be a good contractor right? Let’s dig a little deeper. They are on TV all of the time, so their marketing expenses run into the millions. They have a fleet of decked out trucks and are fully stocked, so their daily cost for the fleet is running into the tens of thousands, they have SALES technicians that are trained to the hilt and earn a commission when they sell something. It is their job to get into that house on time, be friendly and helpful, and find anything that has a potential of ever breaking down in the lifetime of your home. Oh, and by the way, if we knock all of this out today, we can offer a huge discount and give you zero percent financing (for 18 months and then the interest kicks in).

If you give us a great review on Google, we will give you another $200 off or your choice of season passes to Six Flags!  Now THAT is a good contractor right? Well, not that they are bad at their job, but you now just paid up to 4 times what you needed to pay to fix the original issue and was sold a bill of goods that was nowhere near necessary.  By the way, even these guys could run into an issue and be an hour late, BUT a sweet representative from the office will call and let you know.

So the point of my rant is that it is very difficult to label a contractor as good or bad.  There needs to be a lot more thought that goes into it, than a missed phone call or whether or not they arrived on time.  I would wait all day long, and even be willing to reschedule, for the honest contractor that can fix my problem at a fair and honest rate and won’t try and take me for more than is necessary.

However, as I promised, these are the 5 ways a contractor can trick you out of your money and take advantage of you.

1. Misdiagnosis. You have seen the sting operations on TV. This is basically just a direct lie typically covered up by a bunch of technical jargon.  Don’t just take their word for it, make them show you and explain how they came to that conclusion.

2. Bait and Switch. There are two types of Bait and Switch

  • Couponing– these are the ones who advertise an extremely low price and then after getting to your home reveals what it will really cost to fix your “particular” problem.

  • The Product Switch – The contractor sells you the upgraded model of whatever and actually installs the lesser model since most of us do not know the difference.

3. Under Bidding. When a contractor knows they are competing against other contractors for your business they will sometimes give a lower bid and once they collect your upfront money they “find” an unexpected problem and has to add that to the bill.

4. Ding Dong Ditch. The contractor gets money upfront for materials and disappears off the face of the planet. Nowadays with the ability to get a disposable phone, it is incredibly easy to disappear.  Make sure you do your research and no how to physically get in front of the contractor with ease.

5. High Pressure / High Fear sales tactics. Many companies have changed their format to a commission based selling scenario for their technicians. Commission doesn’t rule someone out, but it obviously opens the door for a technician to use pressure or fear to get a bigger paycheck. It really all depends on how the owner trains their people, but if you combine high overhead with a commissioned sales technician, then it stands to reason that they need to get more money than necessary out of you.

Here at The Good Contractors List, we have worked with hundreds of contractors and there has been only one that I would consider bad and we exposed him AND ourselves on the Channel 11 News!  We messed up and we paid for it, but we did our best to warn anyone else about doing business with them. Click HERE for the story!

In conclusion, when looking for a contractor, I would do my research.  Do more than just read through their website. Go to the Better Business Bureau and see how long they have been in business. Google their name and the owner’s name to see if you can find anything derogatory.  Read through any reviews you find and see if there are any negative patterns that seem to be consistent. Look at the size of the company and aim for the ones who appear to be professional, but maybe not over the top in resources or marketing prowess. Even if you get a referral from a family member, do research on the referral and make sure they are reputable beyond your cousin’s one interaction with them.

Then, go into the relationship understanding that they are dealing with a lot of variables and there could be something that doesn’t go perfectly. It will mean a lot to them to have you rooting them on and working with them to give you what you need at a fair and honest rate.

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You Being Hurt by the Perception of Power?

“Power is perceptional and fluid. As it shifts, it’s strengthened or diluted. Know the direction of its flow when making decisions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Always recognize when you’re in a state of euphoria and control your actions appropriately.

“He was great! I feel energized! Now, I believe I can accomplish all of my goals. That’s why I bought his $4,999 Super Deluxe Program!”

Such were the words of a young man in his late 20s. He had just attended a seminar where he was pumped up, while unknowingly his wallet was being deflated. In a few short months, he’d come to regret spending his money on that Deluxe Program. By then he’d be jobless and unable to pay his rent.

How are you victimized by the influence of perceived power? To what degree are you mentally manipulated by it?

When you sense power, it can be like an aphrodisiac. It stirs up arousal deeply in your soul. It releases endorphins within you and makes you momentarily feel like you rule the world. Yeah, it’s a good feeling! The problem or challenge that you might consider is, what form of manipulation are you under when you’re having such sensations and what will be the cost that you pay later?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, pumped up by the environment you’re in, realize what’s happening to you. You’re in a state of euphoria. While in that state your normal mode of rationalization is hijacked. You see yourself, and you become something that’s bigger than normal; you become and feel invincible.

The reason it’s so important to recognize when you find yourself in such a state is due to the actions you might commit while in that mindset. First, it’s a feeling of being on a natural high, which you want to maintain psychologically. That means you’ll engage in behaviors to sustain that feeling. You’ll even engage in behaviors that may later prove to be to your detriment. Then, when it’s time to pay the piper, you may experience insufficient funds to do so.

No matter what environment you’re in, always aspire to maintain self-control. That means, control your emotions and don’t let your emotions control you, or your actions. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, one ploy that negotiators use is an offer that appears to be too good. At first, you may be skeptical of it and upon deeper examination adopt the adage of, one should not look a gift horse in the mouth (i.e. accept it for what it is and be thankful). Some negotiators will even disguise this ‘gift’ as a mistake they made that turns out to be to your benefit. The purpose of the ‘gift offering’ is to get you into a state of euphoria so you disconnect your normal reasoning process.

Suffice it to say, the more aware you are of controlling your emotions in a negotiation, the sharper will be your decision-making process. You’ll be less likely manipulated by the misperception of perceived power, which means you’ll be less likely to be victimized by it.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #Relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Taxes Women In Business

In Negotiations With A Bully Watch Your Hidden Thoughts

“A hidden thought can lead your thinking into a dead-end. Avoid dead-end thinking. Be alert when engaging your mind in its thought process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

In negotiations with a bully, you have to watch your hidden thoughts, or those thoughts will have you thinking wrong.

“You have to beat them like they’ve done something really bad. Whip them until their insides are mashed. Can you do that? Will you do that?”

After reading the above, what are your initial thoughts? What images came to mind? Were they the images of a tough guy giving an edict to his underlings, that they dare not disobey? Or, did you consider that something other then the questions posed was occurring?

The thoughts you had about the opening statements, and the images that came to your mind, where determined by what you’ve experienced in life and the outcomes of those experiences. That means, to a degree, your thoughts began to formulate as soon as you read the first few words of the statement. Then, your mind jumped ahead of what you were reading to assume where the unread words would take you. That’s good, and it’s dangerous. The good part stems from the way you assimilate information. The bad part stems from not monitoring your expectations before jumping to judgment.

The words at the opening of this article were spoken by a chef to one of the cooks in an establishment that both were employed. The chef was referring to the correct way to make an omelet. Thus, he was talking about beating and whipping eggs to obtain a certain degree of consistency to make omelets more palatable.

When negotiating with a bully, you must be more cognizant of the way you think. Your thought process will be altered, in the prefrontal cortex area of your brain, the brain region in which complex behavior – decision making – and the moderation of social behavior occurs. This part of your brain will become more active due to the bully’s demeanor. You may experience a higher degree of emotions stemming from the perception of a threat, be it implicit or explicit. Such an emotional state may cause you to disengage from your normal thought process, which could lead you into that dead-end mentioned at the top of this article.

To combat your hidden thoughts, take into consideration what the bully is saying versus what he’s doing. If there’s a disconnect between his words and his actions, pay more attention to his actions (e.g. he says he’s going to run you into the ground in this negotiation while backing away from you and/or smiling nervously). Having this insight and using it to calculate your next action will allow you to think more clearly. That will also allow you to uncover any hidden thoughts that might create a sense of being overly fearful of a negative occurrence being projected on to you.

Negotiating with a bully is always a challenging proposition, but that proposition can be lessened by thinking about the way you think. Heighten your sense of awareness when negotiating with a bully, by being aware of where your thought processes are leading your thoughts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

Categories
Culture Growth Leadership Personal Development

Managing Bias with Behavior

A great deal of time, effort and money is being invested to reduce or eliminate bias in our society.  It seems we are now hyper sensitive to any kind of bias that we may see it even when it might not exist.  Starbucks is now on the front line of this investment.  How do we manage this hypersensitivity and maintain our trusting relationships?  Please notice I asked how to manage bias and not reduce or eliminate.  Managing bias is all we can do. The purpose of this blog to explain why and how.

Two African American men were arrested at a Starbucks in Philadelphia in early May 2018.  Their arrest spurred accusations of racial bias.  They asked to use the restroom.  The manager explained, “Only paying customers can use the restroom.”  The men sat without purchasing anything.  Soon after the manger asked them to leave.  Her justification was the policy at this Starbucks i.e. “only paying customers can occupy a table.”  The men objected to leaving the store claiming to be waiting for a colleague for a business meeting.

To make up for his incident, Starbucks funded a $200,000 inner city grant program.  The two African American men agreed to facilitate training for inner city entrepreneurs with the money.  Starbucks corporate also decided to close all 8,000 corporate owned stores on May 29th for an all-day training program to help its employees to avoid racial bias. (Jason Hanna, 2018)

Was there bias?  Did the manager act inappropriately?  Did the African American men behave inappropriately?  Why were the police called?  Was it because of racial bias?  According to two decades of research we now know all have unconscious biases which can influence our behaviors and/or our decisions. (Mahzarin R. Banaji, 2003)

We cannot control our bias.  It is often unconscious because this is how our brains work.  We associate people with the probability of certain actions based on our experiences. These associations are helpful.  They can also be harmful because they can create biases.

Here is the good news.  It is more useful to accept the fact that we have biases and to behave accordingly.  It is better to accept our biases than to think we can remove them through an all-day training because the research shows removal of bias is impossible.  I could make the case the African American men in Starbucks acted inappropriately because they behaved contrary to the store policies.  I can also make the argument the Starbucks manager behaved inappropriately by calling the police without optimum communication and without seeing any provocation from the men.

If we have bias and cannot remove it with training, what are we to do?  The key is to follow specific behaviors to assure we are always respectful.  Furthermore, it’s useful to have policies which always serve customers.  The African American men may not have been customers that moment because they did not buy anything at that moment.  They were certainly potential customers.  Their behaviors may not have matched the exact store policy, but they were not being disrespectful.  If they had behaved disrespectfully, the manger would have been justified to call the police if they refused to stop.

Our “unconscious” bias is one of the reasons why the typical performance management process often backfires.  A typical performance discussion will have two people with unconscious biases.  Rarely does the performance management process provide an opportunity for the two participants (manager and employee) to acknowledge their bias.  This will create a barrier to trust and communication.

How do you manage bias?  You always behave with respect, you articulate your bias, you optimally communicate what you need to do, and you avoid tolerating those who behave disrespectfully.  Policies should not be treated as inflexible law.  They are guidelines for which there are always exceptions.  The key is to always behave with respect, to consider how to serve customers, and to act respectfully even when those customers are being disrespectful.

Starbucks is investing a great deal of time and money in an all-day training that will not accomplish its purpose.  Perhaps they should just acknowledge bias and conduct respectful behavior training instead.

Check out the interview on C-Suite Best Seller TV to learn more about how to stop leadership malpractice and replace the typical performance review: https://www.c-suitetv.com/video/best-seller-tv-wally-hauck-stop-the-leadership-malpractice/

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Bibliography

Jason Hanna, K. S. (2018, May 3). The men arrested at Starbucks are paying it forward big time. Retrieved from cnn.com: https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/03/us/starbucks-arrest-agreements/index.html

Mahzarin R. Banaji, M. H. (2003). How (Un)ethical Are You? Harvard Business Review.

For more, read on: https://c-suitenetwork.com/advisors/advisor/wally-hauck/

Categories
Culture Management Marketing Negotiations

Commit to Clients and Customers

Consider the amount of money that goes into acquiring a new customer. Paying sales professionals, product development, marketing, advertising, media, the list is endless. Many of our business costs are associated to attract new customers for the sake of our business growth.

Imagine if companies were to spend as much attention on retaining a customer than they do try to earn a new one. When we show our clients, customers, patients, members and shoppers that we pay attention to their needs, we are not only likely to retain them, we will most certainly create advocates in them as well.

A brilliant book on elevating the customer experience is Never Lose a Customer Again by Joey Coleman, I loved this line in his book ‘it’s time to stop thinking B2B or B2C the future of business is H2H’ (human to human)

Follow these 5 strategies to give professional attention to your clients and show them the love they deserve.

1. Reach out. When was the last time you reached out and personally thanked your clients for being customers? Do you make it habit to routinely remind them of your joy in doing business with them? Consider deepening your relationship with frequent reach-outs. Find out how their business is doing and what you can do to make it better.

2. Examine the experience. Take the time to walk through the same business experience your current customers do. Call your phone number and listen to how you are addressed. Enter your workplace, office or shop as a customer and truly examine the impression being given. Evaluate your website and order your own products. Experience what your customers do when they are doing business with you. You may be surprised what you learn.

3. Know your numbers. Many companies measure their success through profitability, sales and growth. Perhaps consider adding a few extra numbers to the mix. Understand how many new sales come from repeat customers. Recognize your referral rates and most importantly know the churn your company suffers. Set meaningful goals – short and long-term – to retain more customers and improve your new sales from return clients.

4. Motivating Factors. Do you know what motivates your customer to buy from you? Maybe they buy because of price or convenience. Maybe it’s because of location or experience. Do your homework by asking your customers these questions. Know what motivates them to do business with you the first time, and continued business in the future will help you prioritize the areas of opportunity within your business.

5. Be a Partner. When was the last time your bank called you to ask how they can help you better invest your money to plan for a better future? Has your physician ever called to see how you were doing and offered you free literature on the topic you last discussed? This higher level of attention brings a personalized touch to any customer relationship. More so, it creates a partnership with you and your client that benefits their success and well-being as much as it does yours. It’s a win-win anyway you look at it. Partnering with your customer will create mutual trust and respect in the relationship.

Are you ready to pay more attention to your customers? Are you ready to heighten your professional relationships and invest more in their success? Pick up a copy of Joey Coleman’s “How Not to Lose a Customer” and read his strategies for investing time and energy in cultivating long-lasting client relationships.

Want to take your attention a step further? Pick up a copy of  Attention Pays. Learn how attention to employees will benefit your clients and ultimately your bottom line. Understand how evaluating your day-to-day activities can help you carve out time to focus on those who matter most – your customers.

Categories
Culture Growth Management Personal Development

What is “Influence Influenza” and What is the Cure?

Influenza is a series infection. It causes fever, aching, and is often debilitating and even deadly if the immune system is weak.  Managers suffer from “influence influenza” because they are often debilitated by the need to have difficult performance conversations.  There is an epidemic of an unwillingness and/or inability to influence employees to change their inappropriate behaviors and/or poor performance.  What are the root causes of this epidemic and what is the cure?

It is managers who suffer from this affliction because leaders understand how to give feedback.  Leaders understand the difference between control and influence and leaders know how to create followers.  Leaders know how to influence.

Root Causes

We are taught control techniques. We use performance appraisals and pay for performance carrots and stick to create change in behaviors.  Control means people are forced to do certain behaviors.  Influence means they want to do those behaviors. At a recent training conference for a major automobile manufacturer, my colleagues and I learned that the owners of dealerships were threatened with a fine if they didn’t attend the training. This is a perfect example of carrots and sticks control. This type of control technique damages motivation, engagement and cooperation.  It can even create anger.

Wells Fargo was fined millions for issuing fake credit card accounts and overcharging customers to lock them into new deals. (Prentice, 2016)  They not only provided monetary incentives for the employees to “sell” these deals, they also threatened employees with loss of employment if they failed to meet the goals.  This is an example of the standard form of control techniques.  Employees had to behave in a certain way. Customers were manipulated.

Managers are fearful to use influence because it requires effort, courage, and critical thinking. The carrot and stick approach is so much easier.  It is easy for a manager to set up an incentive program and/or make threats to get the behavior they want and then, if it doesn’t work, the manager can always blame and punish the employees.  This is exactly what Wells Fargo did. (Egan, 2016)  5,300 employees were fired.

A lack of trust prevents communication.  When trust is low, a manager is often off balance.  The lack of balance can create a lack of confidence, hesitation and/or procrastination.  According to the International Association of Business Communicators, trust can be created by treating others with integrity, respect, accomplishing tasks and agreeing on shared objectives.[1] When one or more of these elements are missing, a manager is off balance.  These elements can be managed if the manager is willing to make the effort and if they have the skills.

The Cure

Influence requires a deep appreciation of why behaviors must change. Instead of using carrots and sticks, people need and want a “Big Why” to change.  Managers who want to become leaders and who want to use influence must begin to communicate and reinforce the “Big Why” for employees.  They must be able to articulate the benefits the change will create and the consequences if it fails.

Finally, managers can learn to use the Socratic Method.  Asking powerful and useful questions is the best way to influence others.  This sounds simple and it is not easy. It requires critical thinking skills, patience, and an appreciation that employees might have habits that need to be changed.  A change in habit is difficult.  Managers who learn to ask great questions, with the proper tone, and with the helpful (even loving) intentions will begin to become a leader who knows how to influence others.

Managers who hesitate to address poor or unhelpful behaviors of employees likely have “influence influenza”.  It’s time for a cure. If we want our organizations to be optimally successful we must become leaders who influence and stop just being managers to try to control.

 

Check out the interview on C-Suite Best Seller TV to learn more about how to stop leadership malpractice and replace the typical performance review: https://www.c-suitetv.com/video/best-seller-tv-wally-hauck-stop-the-leadership-malpractice/

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

For more, read on: https://c-suitenetwork.com/advisors/advisor/wally-hauck/

Bibliography:

Egan, M. (2016, September 9). 5,300 Wells Fargo Employees Fired Over 2 Million Phony Accounts. Retrieved from cnn.com: http://money.cnn.com/2016/09/08/investing/wells-fargo-created-phony-accounts-bank-fees/index.html

Prentice, R. (2016, September 19). Wells Fargo Goes Far to Cheat Customers, and It Was Predictable. Retrieved from utexas.edu: https://news.utexas.edu/2016/09/19/it-was-predictable-that-wells-fargo-cheated-customers

[1] The International Association of Business Communicators definition of trust

Categories
Culture Growth Management Personal Development

A Leadership Assumption That Can Kill Employee Engagement

If you think you can, you probably will. You’ll find a way if you have the motivation.  If you think you can’t you likely won’t. When it comes to solving problems, attitude is everything and how we think about a problem is the first step to having a positive attitude. We all know these truths.   If a leader wants to have optimum employee engagement in their organization, they must evaluate their assumptions about people and problems and decide if those assumptions will support engagement or kill it. A leader’s assumptions can be either a powerful negative force or a powerful positive force for engagement.

No long ago I watched Jason Day, the Australian professional golfer, win the Well Fargo Open golf tournament.  He has a very useful and obvious habit. He closes his eyes just before each shot. Supposedly, he visualizes exactly what he hopes to do with the shot. He clearly understands that how one thinks about a situation will influence the behavior and that behavior will influence the result.

I have created a leadership development process called THINK-BEHAVE-IMPROVE. How a leader thinks will influence their behaviors and the behaviors of employees.  Similarly, how a leader behaves will influence an organization’s ability to improve.

At a recent client visit, the senior team was looking for ways to elevate the customer experience.  We were discussing issues identified during an employee focus group.  According to this focus group, the highest priority to improve customer experience was improving the ability of employees to handle customer calls.  Calls were being transferred multiple times and calls were being lost. It is widely accepted that optimum employee engagement is required to achieve optimum customer experience. (Adamsky, 2016)  The senior team was compelled to address these telephone issues.

During the discussion, the General Manager piped up in a frustrated tone “We have told the employees multiple times how to handle these calls. They just need to do it.”  A leader’s statements reveal their assumptions.  I asked this leader, “So, you think they are purposely not following your instructions and process?”  he said, “No, no, no.  That is not what I am saying. I just think they don’t get it.”  I asked, “So are they incapable or incompetent?”

One of the most damaging, and common, assumption is to think an employee’s behavior is a root cause of a problem. Employee behavior is rarely a root cause.  It is usually a symptom. In my example above, the General Manager assumes that the employees “don’t get it” because there is something wrong with those employees.  This assumption is not only damaging to employee engagement, it also prevents a recognition of the real root causes of the problem.  Instead of thinking there is something wrong with the employees, a leader must ask a series of process questions to uncover why the employees, “…don’t get it.” 

Instead of assuming a flaw in the employees, it is much more useful and healthy to assume there are flaws in the processes and methods used to provide instructions. Most often people who avoid embracing a change will have very good reason why. (Lahey, 2001)  It is a leader’s job to uncover those reasons.  They can do it by asking great questions.

Here are some process questions that can help us identify root causes:

  • What can we learn from this?
  • What process was used for training? Do we need to improve our process?
  • What are all the other factors which affect the employees’ ability to “get it?” and who is responsible for those factors? How can we improve those factors?
  • Did the employee not understand the instructions? What else do they need to understand?
  • Who is responsible for explaining the instructions? Did we communicate clearly and frequently enough?
  • What are the benefits employees will enjoy by not making the changes? How can we create other benefits more compelling to employees?
  • Do the employees understand why the change is so important and have we explained those reasons correctly and frequently?
  • What would the employees recommend for improvement?

An assumption that “they don’t get it” will lead to behaviors and/or communication which kills engagement. After all, who wants to be thought of as incapable, incompetent or purposely sabotaging a process?  When employees pick up on that assumption, engagement is dead and innovation to identify and remove the root causes is missing.  It’s tragic. The death of engagement and destruction of innovation with one assumption!

Check out the interview on C-Suite Best Seller TV to learn more about how to stop leadership malpractice and replace the typical performance review: https://www.c-suitetv.com/video/best-seller-tv-wally-hauck-stop-the-leadership-malpractice/

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

For more, read on: https://c-suitenetwork.com/advisors/advisor/wally-hauck/

Bibliography:

Adamsky, H. (2016). From Employee Engagement to Employee Advocacy: A Natural Progression. Aberdeen.

Lahey, R. K. (2001). The Real Reason People Won’t Change. Harvard Business Review.

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Leadership Technology

Stop Playing a Game of Relationships Roulette

Attention is about connection. Attention is critical for cultivating healthy relationships – personally and professionally. Studies have shown us that when people fail to get the attention they need from a relationship, they will begin to seek it elsewhere.

Giving attention to someone is our way of prioritizing the relationship and showing them they are important to us.

When we give our attention to our spouse or partner, our relationship deepens.

When we give attention to our friends and family, our relationships become stronger.

As leaders, when we give attention to our employees, we retain their talent and create a sense of loyalty in the partnership.

My latest book Attention Pays, recently released and I’ve been ah-mazed at the number of people who have reached out to me about their experience reading it. Many of them have admitted they finally recognized the fact they were neglecting their more important relationships. Some even felt compelled to put the book down to give their focus to those they love in that very moment.  That makes me so happy. I am a work in progress, just like you. I need these reminders too.

I believe attention is our new currency. The more undivided attention we give to those that matter most, the more value they see in the relationship.

Here are a few strategies to help you focus your undivided attention on those in your life:

1. Device-free meals. Choose to keep the table a device-free zone. No matter the meal, no matter the company, choose to put it away. If you’re having a team luncheon, challenge others to do the same. Having dinner with friends? Make a deal with them that the first person to engage on their phone will have to pay the bill. Instead, use the time at the table to focus on those in your presence. Honor them and their importance in your life by engaging and gifting them with your undivided attention.

2. Purposefully plan. Be mindful and intentional about when you will spend time with those who matter most. Schedule time in the office to meet with employees to check in on their well-being. Set aside time each day to ask your children about their day. Consider planning a vacation with your friends or family that you can look forward to. Plan a date with your partner, child or friends. By planning ahead, you are letting others know how much you value the relationship.

3. Little things matter. Have you ever been surprised by someone who bought you a coffee on their way to work one morning? Maybe you’ve come home to find a small, unexpected package in the mail from a friend. Little things matter. They are one way to give attention to those who matter in your life. They let others know you care. Consider grabbing your partner’s favorite dessert on the way home as a special surprise. Or, pop an unexpected hand-written note in the mail to a friend or loved one. Reward an employee with a coffee or sweet treat for a hard day’s work.

What ideas do you have? Feel free to share in the comments below. Relationships are critical to our happiness and are important to our personal and professional well-being. Invest yourself in relationships and show those in your life they matter most.

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Leadership Skills Technology

Your Privacy in the Wake of the Facebook Cambridge Analytica Scandal

While Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal continues to play out,  one of the big “AHA” moments has been the discovery of the amount of information that Facebook has captured on it’s users. 

The fact that Facebook captures data on users is not really a surprise, but the breadth of data captured was stunning to many, as were the lax safeguards in place to protect that data.  The scope of Facebook’s data collection is still a bit of an unknown, as we haven’t learned of additional data captured by Instagram and What’sApp, both of which are owned by Facebook.    Facebook’s empire is a data collection machine that powers the marketing campaigns of business around the world.

And Facebook is not the only data collection machine.  Most tech companies collect data for marketing purposes, and privacy and data protection varies on each..  Google collects data  via search, Gmail, maps and Google applications.  But also captures data via Android phones, Waze driving applications, and it’s Nest home automation subsidiary.  

So what are we supposed to do?  Unless you are willing to completely abandon the digital world, you have to accept that privacy is elusive online.  But there are few things you can do to minimize the amount data collected and the accessibility of that data .  Here are a few tips that could help:

Be aware of the information available on you and adjust your privacy settings accordingly.   Both Google and Facebook will let you see a good portion of the information they collect on you.  It doesn’t cover all of the data collected from related businesses, but it is still helpful.  For example, I found out that Google knew the 10 different cities that I lived in my life, and was making that information publicly available.  While I couldn’t delete the information, I could make it private. 

Close unused social media accounts.  Many of us have tried new networks, but ultimately abandoned them.  Despite our neglect, your information is still out there.  Use justdeleteme to jog your memory and delete as many old accounts as you can.  Some do not make it easy. 

Don’t use Facebook’s or Google’s single sign on for other services.    When you start using a new service or retailer and are asked to “create an account”, many will ask if you want to login via Google or Facebook.  While it is convenient and one less password to remember, this service also allows Google and Facebook to track everything you buy with that retailer. 

Don’t use third party applications on Facebook.  Those cute quizzes and other entertainment might be fun, but they are also data collections devices.  These are the type of applications that supplied the data for Cambridge Analytica.  Some applications just collect data, but some require that you submit personal information that is often the subject of commonly used security questions.   Don’t play along.  The fun is not worth the risk. 

Delete unused applications on your phone, desktop and other devices.   Many of us constantly add new applications, but are less diligent about deleting old ones.  Applications collect a lot of data, even when they are not being used.  So if you have not used an application in a while, delete it.  I purge applications every six months, and end up deleting more than half the applications on my phone.   

While digital privacy remains elusive, you can take action to minimize the breadth of personal information out there.  Take control!