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Category: Personal Development

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Body Language Dread – How to Avoid Disaster When Negotiating

“To avoid disasters, recognize what they look like and avoid actions that lead to them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… He touched his knee! I thought, what does that mean? I #dread trying to read body language when negotiating!” An associate recounted her thoughts to me when discussing how she was attempting to avoid disaster during a negotiation. She wanted to understand and decipher the meaning of an individual’s body language. I told her, the gesture could have meant anything, nothing, or everything. Then, I went on to explain that one isolated body language gesture does not necessarily lend insight into someone’s emotions or thoughts – you must look at a cluster of gestures for that. I then stated, there’s an exception – it occurs when you’re observing micro-expressions.

Observe the body language gestures below. Cross-reference them to gain greater insight into the meaning they have when they’re clustered. That will grant you the insight into someone’s thoughts and what might have caused them. Being able to accurately detect these signals will enhance your negotiation abilities.

Crossed Arms:

Crossed arms by themselves does not mean that someone is unapproachable or close-minded. It could mean that the person is cold. Also, women tend to cross their arms more than men because of their anatomy.

To gain more insight about why someone crossed their arms, note the stimuli that caused it. To test their demeanor, say or ask something that will cause them to uncross their arms (e.g. that’s a nice watch – may I see it). Then, notice if they go back into their crossed arms position. If they do, you can test again with another question. After that, if they still cross their arms, you’ll have more information to make a better assessment of their demeanor.

Hands:

Movement – When someone speaks, note the timing of their hand movement. If it’s rhythmically aligned with their speech, subliminally, more believability will be lent to their words.

Handshakes – A handshake can connote hidden meanings (e.g. hands vertical to each other, we’re equal – hand on top, I’m superior). Never fall prey to the hidden meanings of handshakes. Good negotiators may intentionally allow someone to have the ‘upper hand’ as a ploy to convey subservience.

Fist – When a discussion becomes heated, observe when someone’s hand forms a fist. The fist can denote deepening anger or commitment in what’s being discussed. If the stimuli that caused the fist to be displayed was unintended, seek to de-escalate the conversation.

Smiles:

A genuine smile is denoted by crow’s feet at the corner of the eyes and elevated cheeks. It’s important to recognize the distinction from non-genuine smiles. Knowing the difference can assist in uncovering someone’s alignment.

Micro-expressions:

There are seven micro-expressions that are generic to everyone on earth. Thus, the stimuli applied to someone in Asia will have the same effect applied to someone in Europe, or anywhere else in the world. The seven micro-expressions are:

  1. Fear (eyebrows raised, wide eyes, lips slightly stretched & parted, bottom lip protruding downward)
  2. Anger (eyebrows down and together, eyes glare, narrowing of the lips)
  3. Disgust (lifting of the upper lip, scrunching of the nose)
  4. Surprise (raised eyebrows, wide eyes, open mouth)
  5. Contempt (one side of the lip raised and pulled in on one side of the face)
  6. Sadness (upper eyelids drooping, eyes unfocused, lips slightly turned down)
  7. Happiness (crow’s feet wrinkle around eyes, cheeks elevated, eye orbit muscle movement)

Misinterpreting someone’s body language can lead to unanticipated consequences. To assure that doesn’t occur to you, observe the gestures above when they’re clustered.

While reading body language is not a perfect science, it can give clues into someone’s thought process. Knowing what to look for, and interpreting nonverbal signals accurately, can help you avoid disasters when you negotiate … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Dread #Avoid #disaster #Negotiate #Negotiations #bodylanguage #Negotiator #Business #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Industries Leadership Skills Technology

The Industry 4.0 Advantage

This visceral image of “industry” being gritty and exclusively blue-collar is true to some degree, but when “4.0” is added to it, it takes on a whole new meaning, and blue-collar workers end up believing the narrative that robots and artificial intelligence (A.I.) will delete their jobs.

Though common, this fear is unwarranted. Despite the now-proven Hard Trend that A.I., advanced automation and robotics, 3D printing, and other industrial Internet of Things (IoT) advancements often replace mundane tasks in manufacturing, Industry 4.0 transformations allow us to work alongside machines in new, highly productive ways.

Industry 1.0 to 4.0

Manufacturing in every industry has evolved as four distinct industrial revolutions since the 1800s. The first industrial revolution took place between the late 1700s and early 1800s. Manufacturing evolved to optimized labor performed by the use of water- and steam-powered engines with human beings working alongside them.

The second industrial revolution began in the early part of the 20th century, introducing steel and use of electricity in factories. These developments enabled manufacturers to mobilize factory machinery and allowed for capitalizing on manpower in mass production concepts like the assembly line.

A third industrial revolution began in the late 1950s, which brought with it automation technology, computers, and robotics, increasing efficiency and repositioning the human workforce. Near the end of this period, manufacturers began experiencing a shift from legacy technology to an increase in attention to digital technology and automation software.

The current industrial revolution is Industry 4.0, which increases interconnectivity and networked intelligence through the Internet of Things (IoT) and other cyber-physical systems. Industry 4.0 is far more interlinked than revolutions before, allowing for improved company communication and collaboration.

The general definition of Industry 4.0 is the rise of digital industrial technology. To better understand, let’s take a look at nine building blocks of Industry 4.0.

Big Data and Analytics

Industry 4.0 allows for streamlining, collecting and comprehending data from many different sources, including networked sensors, production equipment, and customer-management systems, improving real-time decision making.

Autonomous Robots

The ability for robots to interact with one another while accomplishing rhetorical tasks increases productivity and opens new job opportunities for employees willing to learn new things. These future autonomous robots will cost less while having greater range of capabilities.

Advanced Simulation

Advanced simulations will be used more extensively in plant operations to leverage real-time data, mirroring the physical world in a virtual model. This includes machines, products, and humans and allows operators to test and optimize the machine settings in the virtual world first, accelerating a predict-and-prevent operational strategy for downtime issues.

Horizontal and Vertical System Integration

Universal data-integration networks in Industry 4.0 increase connectivity among departments, suppliers, and partners. This resolves lack of communication or miscommunication within a project crossing departmental boundaries.

Industrial Internet of Things (IIoT)

Decentralizing analytics and decision making while enabling real-time feedback is key in today’s age. IIoT means connected sensors, machines communicating with each other, and more devices having embedded computing enabling Edge Computing, where networked sensors get new data instantly and automated decisions happen faster.

Agile and Anticipatory Cybersecurity

Secure means of communication and identity management is quite important to cybersecurity in Industry 4.0, as increased interconnectivity brings the risk of security issues. Manufacturing companies must pre-solve problems in cybersecurity and implement anticipatory systems by adding a predict-and-prevent layer to A.I.

Advanced Hybrid Cloud and Virtualization

As data increases, local storage will not suffice, which brings us to Cloud Services and Virtualization. Elements of high-speed data analytics coupled with A.I. and machine learning enable real-time knowledge sharing. Advanced Cloud Services also enable anticipatory predict-and-prevent strategies.

Additive Manufacturing (3D Printing)

Advanced additive-manufacturing methods will be integrated into mass production systems, providing a new level of speed and customization along with the ability to solve complex manufacturing problems while also functioning as a standalone system for custom manufacturing.

Augmented Reality

According to my Hard Trend Methodology, this relatively new technology will gain more traction as augmented reality (A.R.) apps for business and industry are developed. For example, in Industry 4.0, AR can help quickly find parts in a warehouse by looking around from one location.

The adaptation of any of the new technologies in Industry 4.0 will face an uphill battle, as blue-collar manufacturing industries are not often open-minded about embracing new technology often seen as a job eliminator. Embracing the ever-changing spectrum of Industry 4.0 technologies allows acceleration of innovation, pre-solving seemingly impossible problems, and developing and implementing digital manufacturing solutions.

Leaders should help their managers and employees anticipate disruption and change to get excited about learning new skills that will keep them employed and ensure development in their careers. Start with my latest book The Anticipatory Organization – I have a special offer for you!

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Marketing Personal Development

Photos from the Stage are More Versatile Than You Think

NYC Branded Lifestyle Portrait Jeff Hayzlett NSA NYC meeting

Don’t look at content creation with dread…

..it’s an opportunity to flex your creative muscles…

When you’re on stage, in front of the room, delivering a keynote, bringing everyone in the audience along with you for a ride that will have many twists and turns and end with a bang, that’s when you’re at the height of your superpowers.

It’s a pretty magical experience, 🙂

These moments are powerful and when you share them with your audience, they do a good job of getting their attention amongst the 50,000 other things populating their social feeds.

One of the more common stories that I’ve seen speakers and authors leverage their stage photos is the good ol’ “really happy to be speaking at ______ conference today…”

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to come up with a way to tag the organizer and show them your appreciation for the talk, and to illustrate to your audience your #speakerlife, but, these images are a lot more versatile than for just this purpose.

When crafting a memorable and referable online presence, it’s important that you share stories that illustrate your expertise, life as a business owner and life as a human being in order to connect with your audience on a level that creates a deeper connection and rapport.

Then, you visually punctuate the sentiments of these informational and inspiring stories with powerful images from the stage – in addition to branded lifestyle portraits, but, that’s another topic for another day, 🙂

The awesome thing about these candid images is that the sentiment and emotion created through facial expression, body language, lighting and composition can visually punctuate an assortment of potential stories that you want to pair with it.

Let me show you what I mean with one specific speaker image that I’ve captured for a client.

The Flexibility of One Photo is Enormous

This photo is of Jeffrey Hayzlett, and was taken at a NYC chapter meeting of the National Speakers Association.

NYC Branded Lifestyle Portrait Jeff Hayzlett NSA NYC meeting

His dynamic presence, genuine facial expression and demonstrative body language makes this photo a slam dunk around which to create a memorable piece of content.

Now, when looking at this photo, a variety of potential ideas for stories pop immediately into my mind.

Of course, when it comes to a specific speaker, certain stories make more sense for them to leverage, but for the sake of argument, let’s assume all these ideas are in play for Jeffrey to develop further.

These are not fully formed ideas, but simply the starting points for potential ideas that could develop into full-blown social posts.

I’d like to break down these various idea nuggets into three categories: stories that illustrate expertise, life as a business owner and life as a human being.

While simply looking at the image and brainstorming anything that comes to mind, here are a few idea nuggets that immediately strike me:

Illustrating Your Expertise

  • “During my recent talk at @NSANYC, I shared a couple insights about…”
  • “When you’re speaking in front of an audience, don’t pretend to be anything less than who you are. Deliver the message in the way that’s natural to you…”
  • “When I am in front of a room delivering a talk, I feel at home…”
  • “Being a leader means…”
  • Pull a quote from a talk, interview or blog post that has a humorous twist in a way that this photo could visually punctuate.

Life as a Business Owner

  • “I’m extremely grateful for being able to make a living speaking from the stage…”
  • “While at a recent NSANYC event, I was excited to see my long-time colleague and friend_____, and I had to point him out…”
  • “When I’m speaking in front of a room, I’m not in front of a faceless group of folks, I talk to them as if we’re one-on-one, shooting the breeze…”

Life as a Human Being

  • “Although I am living the dream speaking from the stage for a living, there was a time that there was doubt and I wasn’t sure if this was the right path for me…”
  • “As a speaker, we are business owners, and moments like this make the effort worth the challenges, but, the challenges are indeed, challenging…”
  • Create a post that is punctuated with the #booyah hashtag since Jeffrey Hayzlett uses this hashtag in his social posts.

Now this is just a quick brainstorm that took less than a few minutes to generate these potential story ideas, and, I’m sure with more effort, even more ideas could be mustered up for this one particular photo.

Oh wow, its like that?

The takeaway from this is that the idea generation process can be repeated for every single image that lives in your image content portfolio, whether it’s an image taken of you from the stage, a branded lifestyle portrait or an image taken with a smartphone.

The versatility and flexibility of your image content is dependent upon how you approach each photo, and your ability to look beyond the what.

The what of the image is the foundation, no doubt, but, the sentiment of these images reach far beyond the walls in which the photo was captured, and that flexibility is always at your disposal, once you recognize the potential.

When I help provide this insight into the content creation process with my clients, I literally see the light bulbs going off in their heads as this newfound perspective is truly reinforced in their minds, forever changing the way that they approach creating social media and blog content in order to create a rapport and relationship with those they serve.

As far as I’m concerned, that’s a good start to the process, 🙂

John DeMato is a NYC branded lifestyle portrait photographer and content creation expert who serves speakers, authors, coaches and high-level entrepreneurs across the country. His 50+ e-book, S.H.A.R.E. M.A.G.I.C.A.L. I.D.E.A.S., lays out the how, what and why behind creating a memorable and referable online presence – sign up to get your FREE copy today.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Leadership

Don’t Discount this Leadership Diet

Recently I decided to detox with a liquid diet to flush all the nasty toxins to the curb.  I hate to admit it but my mind seemed sharper, my joints ached less and I could watch an entire episode of the House of Cards when I sat on my couch at 8pm.  The best part of this total change of my diet?  My tennis game stepped up a notch during my abstinence from unhealthy food and beverages.

What does this have to do with leadership? Statarius is still in growth mode and for those entrepreneurs reading this, you understand the physical demands when you share your passion continually during the start-up phase.  My team and I aspire for our clients to be more than just satisfied, we want them to be delighted.  That takes an enormous amount of time, energy and relationship-building.

As the company flourishes, the tasks and details exponentially grow like weeds in the yard. Like you I attempt to kill those pesky weeds with the prescribed killer recommended at the local home store.  But what is prescribed for completing the myriad of tasks and details, other than possibly cloning myself?  Delegation was the answer for me. 

Trust me, at first I wasn’t keen on delegating those important tasks and details to my team.  My prescription was the delegation diet to lose some of those details that would bog down my day.  Do you remember the best seller from 1985 entitled The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey?  Indulge me a moment, and visualize yourself, with monkeys hanging onto your every limb, weighing you down.  My delegation diet included letting my team own and feed the monkeys that kept me from growing the company.  As you focus on your team’s individual strengths, high performers will develop and hone personal strengths, while learning how to handle their monkeys. 

The adrenaline you enjoy from crossing off an item on your to-do list is a nice rush of endorphins that keep you coming back for more.  Yes, it can be addictive.  But, as you delegate your monkeys, the rush of pride and endorphins is doubled.  Actually, watch out for this twice as intense addiction!  The proud team smiles after successful completion of a difficult task plus my realization that 4x the amount could be accomplished during the day blew me away!  To our client’s delight, I tried the delegation diet and relinquished my monkeys to my team. 

Another possible reason for those achy joints, tired mind and exhausted body, I was just carrying around too many monkeys!  No more liquid detox diets for me, I’ll advocate for the delegation diet.  So what monkey will you put up for adoption today?

“It is in giving that we receive.” – Francis of Assisi

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Entrepreneurship Marketing Personal Development Sales

Perspective Without Business Acumen: Is That Even a Thing?

Part Two of a five Part Series.

Without business acumen, you can’t provide meaningful perspective.

In my last article, I discussed Perspective selling, and its cousins, insight & Challenger selling – and how powerful they are. First, I described perspective: knowledge or insight that expands a customer’s understanding of one or more business issues.  When a seller provides perspective, they apply customer-valued (not just any) insights and expertise .

To consistently provide perspective, sellers need to predict – then introduce – then validate – a customer-valued outcome.  Importantly, part one detailed three techniques for presenting perspective: three ways to stimulate a prospect to visualize an outcome.  In summary: asking value-oriented questions, re-framing a prospect’s viewpoint via credible instruction, and storytelling all engage parts of the brain that simple “selling by telling” does not.

Perspective Takes Three Kinds of Acumen.

Here’s the thing: those three techniques require a strong foundation in three areas. World-class sellers need three types of acumen in order to generate useful perspectives regularly.

The three underlying elements of acumen:

  1. Business Acumen
  2. Customer Acumen
  3. Solution Acumen

With apologies, let me bring the old “three legged stool” metaphor out of storage.  Thus, each type of acumen represents one of the three legs, and the stool needs all three legs to support world class performance.

Today’s topic:  Business Acumen

One of my most popular articles ever discussed the importance of business acumen.  It makes the point that you can’t know your customer’s business until you know business. Rather than repeating that article’s point, the  “why” of understanding business, I’d like this article to address the “what” and “how”.

First, there’s good news for non-“mathletes.  Understanding the numbers in a target company’s financial statements probably won’t get you as far as concentrating your time elsewhere (unless you’re in a field like finance or accounting). While financial acumen isn’t a waste of time, just remember:  financial statements describe financial health of a company, while a salesperson is usually more interested in operational health.  It’s more important to know how an operational change will affect the financial statements that it is to be able to analyze a financial statement for needed operational changes.

Business acumen is critical regardless of your role in your organization. This series of articles focuses on seller roles (any role that faces the customer). Nonetheless, if you’re a business leader trying to focus your company on delivering customer-perceived value, your whole organization should be business-savvy.

Perspective selling, becoming a trusted advisor, requires a seller to know their customer’s business well enough to give valued insights. Thus, many sales leaders realize that building business acumen for sellers and customer-facing roles boosts sales performance. Because of this, several Fortune 100 companies put their entire sales organizations through a mini-MBA program.

What Does Basic Business Acumen Cover?

If I had only one day to work with your people to build their business acumen I would organize a workshop covering a few key topics:

  • Treacy and Wiersema’s three value disciplines; how a company sees themselves differentiating in their market.
  • Understanding current trendsin a company’s market: your own and a customer’s.
  • Perspective sellers are attuned to their customers’competition:direct and indirect / substitutes.
  • Business professionals know how to find any company’s top management priorities. Can they leverage this knowledge into insightful interactions with a customer?
  • Businesspeople should know how to uncover major business risksfaced by any company, and articulate ways to address them.
  • While I don’t advocate strongly for mastering financial ratio analysis, I am big on understanding cost structure: fixed vs. variable costs, and break-even point. Know how to impact each of those items, and how you product /service impacts a customer’s cost structure.
  • Sales people should be able to break any company down into its component processes and activities…then identify key processes.
  • Your people need to be able to identify key process inputs/resourcesa company uses.
  • Business professionals should understand how key partners, alliances, and complementary offers build into complex ecosystems..and how these players add value to each other.
  • How does a company define their customers,and why?
  • Business people, especially sellers, should understand market channels:different kinds, how they work, their value, their challenges, and how customers use them to buy.
  • Business acumen helps identify different revenue streams, and understand what value (besides revenue and profit) each stream produces.
  • Professionals should be able to pick out a company’s value propositions. They should also distinguish propositions from value presumptions and statements, and know the dangers of the latter two.

How Business Acumen Shapes Perspective Selling

Business acumen enables sellers to look at a prospective customer’s business insightfully. Demonstrating a deep understanding of the prospective prospect’s business builds needed credibility. Without credibility, sellers risk being just another annoying know-it-all spewing a misdirected “credibility deck” in a prospect’s direction. Value messaging turns into old-fashioned “telling” if the perspective is not anchored in customer insight.

In summary, business acumen is needed to discover value that is hidden to average sellers.  It opens up a more detailed “map” of all the places where your differentiated value can impact a customer.  I often help clients identify completely new personas and roles within their target companies.  Having insight into how a customer’s company really works helps anticipate everywhere a seller’s differentiation generates value. A tool I’ve developed called “value networks” builds this world-class selling practice into a repeatable system for entire sales teams.

Fee free to comment below or to share this article.  If you would like to talk about building the business acumen of your organization, let me know.  I’d love to help you build that organizational capability.

To your success!

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Scares You?

“Sometimes, your imagination scares you. To assess your fears, check your unchecked thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… The thought of that scared me. My focus was on what others would think if I failed.” An executive manager of a major international corporation spoke those words. I suggested that he shift his paradigm from thinking about failure, and what others would think, to one more positive.

Have you ever considered what scares you? While you might be frightened of some things, they may be the doorway that leads to greater opportunities. There are things that you should shy away from. Therefore, I’m not suggesting you go head-first into everything that scares you. Instead, reflect on the benefits that might reside within your fears.

Consider the following thoughts when assessing how, whether, and when you should embrace things that frightened you.

Identify what scares you:

Before you can address your fears, you must identify them. You should also identify why you’re lending legitimacy to them. In identifying them, note their origins. Do they stem for a hurt you experienced in the not too distant past, or do they stem from some further hidden source? The better you are at identifying the source of what scares you, the better you’ll be at assembling a plan to deal with those fears.

Assessment:

While assessing the source of your fears, assess if it’s something that you should rightfully be afraid of. Fear can serve as a warning. Thus, there are some things that you should avoid. In your assessment, label what’s real and what’s imagined when it comes to what scares you.

Imagination:

When we were kids, we dealt with things that frightened us by using imaginary forces. We even created imaginary friends. The point is, we used our mind to help us live in the reality we wanted for ourselves. We can still use our mind for that purpose. When confronting what scares you, imagine what will happen when you overcome your fear by addressing the thing that scares you. Imagine you’re receiving accolades for doing so. Now, how does that make you feel? It should make you feel good. After all, you’re only imagining it, which means, you’re in complete control … as you are always.

You can find motivation from the above thoughts and allow them to move you to action. Or, you can choose not to address your fears. But If you’re serious about achieving greater success in life, you must commit to challenging the things that jeopardize that success, that which scares you. After making that commitment, your life will instantly be on a straighter road to success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the fears of adopting one position versus another may cause you angst. But if you’ve considered the unexpected offers that might occur beforehand you will have planned on how to address them. That should allay your fear.

Nevertheless, if you’re caught by a scary situation, don’t show it through any body language and/or nonverbal signals (e.g. mouth agape, widened eyes). You don’t want the other negotiator to sense his momentary advantage. Instead, go into quandary body language display mode (e.g. hand on chin head cocked to one side, or chin resting in hand and on side of face). This action will give you time to think, while the other negotiator wonders what you’re thinking about. If you display a cunning smile while doing so, you may evoke fear in him.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #scare #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

How to Clarify You and Your Clients’ Goals

Coaching helps people with their goals.  But as simple as that may seem, it’s not always clear what their goals are or how that goal might improve their lives.

When a new coaching client comes in for a consultation they usually have a stated goal in mind.

It’s important to help them assess the viability of the goal based on their strengths and skills as well as understand what that goal will give them.  In a sense, what’s the goal behind the goal?  Why is getting to this goal important?  What will it bring you in a positive way?  How might your life change because of it?  Have you considered all the pros and cons?

There’s an illuminating model that has been used in the Navy’s Human Resource

We can ask the following . . .

1. What are you trying to achieve? Or, what do you want that you don’t have?

2. What are you trying to preserve? Or, what do you want to maintain that you already have?

3. What are you trying to avoid? What don’t you have that you don’t want?

4. What are you trying to eliminate? What do you have now that you don’t want?

This is a powerful assessment to help your client think through their potential goals. Just ask them to fill in these questions and use it as fodder for your coaching session on the goal. Suppose your client is interested in becoming a Professional Coach.  Here’s how the conversation might go . . .

Sharon: You said your goal is to become a professional coach.

Joe: Yes

Sharon: What might that give you that you don’t have now?

Joe: I’d feel like I was contributing to society while also making a living.

Sharon: How is that giving you something more than now?

Joe:  I get to work with people but I don’t really have an opportunity to help them move forward in their lives?

Sharon: Why might that be important?

Joe: I make great money at my job, but sometimes I feel bad that I have all these relationship building skills that are wasted.

Sharon: And . . .

Joe:     I’m at a point in my life where I feel grateful for what I’ve achieved and want to give back.  So it’s a win win.

Sharon: Great.  And what do you want to maintain that you already have?

Joe: Well  . . . my standard of living!  [He laughs]

Sharon: Uh huh

Joe: And the recognition and respect I currently enjoy in my career

Sharon: Great.  And now, what is important to avoid in this career move.  That’s to say what don’t you have that you don’t want?

Joe: I don’t have money worries and I really don’t want them!

Sharon: And what do you have now, that you’d prefer to get rid of

Joe: Well, I don’t punch a clock but it feels like I do because of having to be at my office regardless of my work load or my preferred times when I’m more productive and less so?

Sharon: Tell me more

Joe: I have to drive in rush hour twice a day, which is tiring and frustrating on a daily basis, while I’d prefer to have a lot more flexibility with my hours.  I have great energy early in the morning when I can get a lot done, but then I’m dragging my mental feet in the afternoon when I’d love to be exercising or taking a long hike and then returning to work.  I COULD do that as a Professional Coach

So let’s take a summary look at what we learned about Joe’s goal with our 4 element model 

Goal – I want to become a Professional Coach

Don’t Have                           Currently Have

WANT                      ACHIEVE – Satisfaction of helping others     PRESERVE – $$$$

DON’T WANT    AVOID – Money Worries.     ELIMINATE – Rigid Schedule

You can conduct this type of analysis with any goal. Why might you want to become a Professional Coach?

What might it help you achieve, as well as how does that goal stack up on the other factors? Good food for thought, right?

NEXT TIP heading your way tomorrow

Thinking about getting certified as a Professional Coach? Want to talk about it? Or any questions you have about professional coaching? Let’s talk and see whether or not it makes sense for you to become a certified professional coach.

Learn more about our upcoming Fast Track programs in NYC and Dallas in March

Warmest regards,

Sharon 🙂

Dr. Sharon Livingston

www.DrSharonLivingston.com

603 505 5000 cell

DrSharonLivingston@Gmail.com

 

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Personal Development

How Coaching Helps Handle Challenges at Work and With Others in Your Life

One of the reasons people come to a coach is because they lose perspective.

As they’re attempting to move forward, particularly into a new realm – new career, new relationship, new living arrangement, they feel challenged, stressed and often forget what worked for them in the past. Or, they think they have to do something new.

Here’s a little story from a supervision session I had with one of my coach clients. She works with her clients to help them with diet and exercise and makes health recommendations about wellness and supplements.

As were talking – it was a phone session – I heard her sniffing and clearing her throat. I interrupted the discussion we were having on the use of paradoxical interventions. [Will explain that in another tip, you’ll love it.]

Sharon: How are you feeling?

Amy: OK.  Just have a bad cold. [I hear her sigh] Annoying

Sharon: That’s crummy.  What are you doing for it?

Amy: Not much

Sharon: Not much?  You’re not taking anything?

Amy: I just got involved in other things and have been so tired.

Sharon: But isn’t that what you do with your clients, make recommendations for things they could use?

Amy: Well, yeah . .

Sharon: So, what might you recommend to one of your clients who had similar symptoms

She’s silent for a minute:

Amy: Well . . . There are a number of things. (She seems to be thinking and then I hear what sounds like opening a cabinet door.)

Amy: Lysine – 4-5000 mg; Vitamin C 2000 mg a few times a day for the first couple of days and then back to 1-2,000 for the duration of the cold; they can also use Olive Leaf; zinc; garlic . . . . drink lots of water.  And of course get plenty of rest.

Sharon: But you’re not doing the same for yourself?

Amy:  Uh . . . I have been drinking tea with lemon and honey…. [She hesitates]  It’s what my mother used to give me. I miss her.  When I was little, I’d get into her bed, she’d bring up a tray with a pretty cup of tea and some toast.  She’d tell me stories, cuddle me . . . She’s so far away now.

Sharon: Hmmmm.  So what have you done in the past as an adult when you’ve gotten a cold
that works for you?

Amy: [Laughing ]. I do really well with Lysine and Zinc and a garlic extract called Allicin.

Sharon: Do you have any?

Amy: Mmm hmmm.

Sharon: So . . .

Amy: Right?  OK.  I’ll get on my routine.  Thanks.

The next time we spoke and she reported she was feeling a lot better, I asked her a little more about how she reacted to her cold challenge. I wanted to know what tripped her up in following her own advice.

What she said was interesting

Amy: I hate getting sick.  When I do I feel like I let down my clients by being a bad role model. It’s actually kind of depressing. I’m not supposed to get sick.  Made me feel down and then I didn’t feel motivated to do anything.  It’s good we talked and you reminded me of what I know.  When I’m disappointed in myself, I tend not to take the best care of myself, even though I tell my clients how important it is to treat themselves well when they don’t feel well.

Sharon: How might you intervene with yourself when that happens.

Amy:I guess the first thing is be aware that I’m feeling blue.  Then I have a choice. Take better care of myself or just feel bad. I can remind myself of my favorite remedies, and make sure I have some on hand and prescribe caring to myself as if I were my own client.

Sharon: Good!  And maybe call Mom and get some virtual Tea, honey and Lemon over the phone?

Amy: [giggles] Yes.  That would be great.  I hate to tell her I don’t feel well, because she worries. But it would really help to get some special Mom TLC.

There’s considerable research on how challenges create stress and stress impairs our ability to know what we know.

Under stress, our brains and body are hard wired to react to the emotional aspects of the situation.  It’s part of the fight or flight instinct.  We can’t as readily consider the facts.

That’s why it’s important to remind ourselves that we do have internal resources that have worked in the past; to open our mental cabinet, see the choices we’ve previously used well, and consider which of those to call into action.

In addition, what worked with one challenge might have relevance for another. Think about the example above with Amy.  Another challenge she might have is in a relationship with a colleague at work.

There was a misunderstanding. Amy’s feelings are hurt.  She’s been thrown into an emotional field that makes it hard for her to remember how she and her colleague work well together.

She needs to stop, acknowledge to herself that she’s upset and stressed and then remind herself of what’s worked positively with with her coworker in the past. It would also be helpful to consider what created the uncomfortable communication.

What happened that led to the upset?

How might she avoid that in the future, creating a better work space for both of them?

Key takeaways:

  • Under challenge we experience stress which makes it hard to focus on the facts.
  • Take the time to remind yourself of what’s worked previously.
  • Which steps can you borrow from your previous successes and apply to this situation?
  • Assess the triggers that precipitated the challenge and consider how you might avoid them moving forward.

Make sense?

Next tip coming tomorrow

Thinking about getting certified as a Professional Coach? Want to talk about it? Or any questions you have about professional coaching? Let’s talk and see whether or not it makes sense for you to become a certified professional coach.

Click below

To Learn About Our Upcoming Fast Track Certification Workshop This March in New York City

The cost of $75 for the 30 minute consultation can be applied to the TLC Professional Coach Training program if you decide to join.Warmest regards,

Sharon 🙂

Dr. Sharon Livingston

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

The Boss and The Seven Dwarves

Ever noticed how people tend to take the same seats in recurring meetings? Ever wondered about why people sit where they do?

In recent years, psychologists and consultants have begun to unravel the mysteries of meeting seating, and, according to BusinessWeek, they have determined that where you sit can both influence and reflect where you stand in your organization.

It all starts with the boss, who more often than not will take a seat at the end of an oblong or rectangular table, back to the wall and facing the door to spot new arrivals.

Things get more complicated after that. Sharon Livingston, who has a PhD in Psychology and is founder of the Livingston Group for Marketing, borrows from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to characterize the traits of people based on their seat at the table.

See if you recognize yourself or your colleagues in Livingston’s thumbnail sketches:

Bashful

May try to hide in the middle of the group. May avoid eye contact, look down, bow their head a little bit. May actually blush when spoken to. Does best in a focused and structured environment where the task at hand is clear.

Doc

Usually sits opposite the leader. Tries to take over leadership. Announces his expertise very early in the meeting. Makes decisions quickly.

Dopey

May try to hide in the middle. May try to crack a self deprecatory joke. Looks interested but only speaks when called upon. Often parrots the expert.

Grumpy

Tends to sit opposite the leader. May sit with arms crossed backed away from table. Looks annoyed, mild sneer, raised eyebrowIs negatively critical or judgmental of whatever is being tested as well as other group members’ ideas.

Happy

Takes seat to the leader’s right if it is available. Generally agrees with the leader. Frequently tries to catch leader’s eye, and tries to maintain eye contact with leader. Smiles a lot at everyone, particularly the leader.

Sleepy

Tries to hide in the middle. Sits back from the tableIs unresponsive. Eyes actually start to close.

Sneezy

Often sits to the moderator’s left. Might look sick – red nose and eyes, droopy. Lets group know how bad he feels. Interrupts with complaints about environment — too hot, too cold, too drafty.

Using these characteristics, managers can try rearranging the seating to better their chances of influencing people, according to BusinessWeek. For instance, potential foes should be seated to the manager’s right, while potential brownnosers might be more frank if split and seated across from each other.

Livingston suggests you may want to consider removing traditionally confrontational seats from the table. “If the table seats 10 and only eight show up, eliminate the two chairs at the end of the table,” she wrote in a recent article. “Interestingly, the shape of the table doesn’t seem to matter in the issue of leadership tension. Whether rectangular, boat-shaped, U-shaped, or round, a confrontational chair still exists opposite the moderator.”

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Negotiator – How To Be Smarter About Risk Assessment

“To abate risks better, deal with those that pose the greatest threat to your goals first.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

What do you consider when thinking of risk assessment? Do you think about the impact that your past will have on it? Do you consider the same about the person you’ll be negotiating against? There is a multitude of things to consider. Doing so before the negotiation will make you a smarter negotiator. Before your next negotiation, mull over the following insights when pondering how to be smarter about risk assessment.

Gains versus Losses:

Sometimes, people become caught up in the moment. They forget to weigh their potential gains against their potential losses. Losing track of such mindfulness can leave you wondering why you engaged in such folly, once you’ve returned to a clear state of mind.

When assessing risk, know what you’re assessing as it relates to your larger goal. Don’t place yourself in a position where you make a tradeoff or offer, get it, and then discover that there’s an unintended cost for the acquisition. If a request is too costly, it may behoove you not to enter the bidding. A risk matrix can assist in that avoidance.

Risk Matrix:

You can use a risk matrix chart to assess the probability of an outcome in a negotiation. That will help you uncover any hidden risks that you may not have considered. Based on what you know of the other negotiator, you can assess the probability of how he’ll act/react to certain offers and counteroffers. Thus, you might have your offers and potential counteroffers plotted on one scale and markers denoting the probability that he’ll respond in a certain way on the other (e.g. strong possibility, likely, maybe, low probability, not likely). Then, weight each category (e.g. 85-100%, 65-85%, 45-65%, 25-45%, 0-25%, respectively). Of course, your risk matrix will only be valid to the degree your assessment of the other negotiator is accurate. If it’s not you’ll have garbage in, garbage out.

Ploys:

  • Lead/Led – Ask the other negotiator for his thoughts and inputs on matters that you’re unsure about his thoughts. By obtaining his thoughts you’ll gain insight into how he’s thinking. The bonus of that will be of him having the appearance that he’s leading the negotiation. That will also assist your efforts in decreasing the risk that the negotiation might go into unseen and unsuspected areas.

 

  • Offers – Don’t make offers that would demean or insight the other negotiator. You don’t have to tread so gently that he begins to press you on issues. instead, find the balance between the point of leading and following and know when to commit to either.

 

  • Anger – When thinking of the strategies you’ll employ in the negotiation be leery of using anger. There are potential hidden risks involved when you anger someone. They can become unpredictable, which means not only would you demean the validity of your risk matrix, you might do irrevocable harm to the negotiation.

 

Suffice it to say, the fewer variables you can account for when negotiating the stronger your negotiation position will be. That will lead you to be smarter about risk assessment … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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