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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Get More Hidden Secrets When Negotiating

“To uncover hidden secrets, get others to disclose them. The real secret is knowing how to entice them to do that.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Why were you blathering in there? You disclosed our secrets!” Such were the words of one exasperated negotiator to her team member.

When was the last time you disclosed too much information? Were you aware of doing that? The methods good negotiators use can expose hidden secrets. They know how to silently probe your mind and get you to divulge those secrets when negotiating.

Continue reading to discover what those techniques are, how you can use them, and how you can prevent them from being employed against you.

1. Broad Perspective

Begin your hidden interrogation by speaking from a very broad perspective; I’m talking about ‘side of the barn broad’. The intent is to arouse suspicion that you might be on to something greater than what you’re portraying. Hang just enough bait to get the other negotiator talking. Note what he talks about, how he does it, and any mood and/or body language alterations that occur as he’s speaking. Look for displays of calmness versus tension. 

2. Known Unknowns

Consider citing unknown knowns. Cite information the other negotiator doesn’t think you have. You’ll get his attention. Enhance this ploy by making proclamations that are slightly off the mark. That will loosen his tongue. Observe what that tongue divulges. Even if you think it’s the truth, state otherwise. Note the degree that he’s consistent and convincing. Repeat this process if his words remain suspect.

3. Images and Words

While engaging in the negotiation, invoke conjured thoughts from the images your words create. The effectiveness of this ploy will appear in glazed eyes, him retreating into a dazed like state or one in which he’s melancholia. During that state, pose probing questions to uncover hidden secrets. You should know what questions to ask based on what you suspect is undisclosed.

4. Pattern Interrupts

Introduce confusion into the negotiation by saying or doing something unexpectedly; for the best effect create an impression that’s random. The purpose is to jolt his mind away from his current thoughts and instead focus on something that’s superfluous. Then, ask him to resume where he left off. No matter what he says, provide your assessment of what you thought he was saying before the interruption occurred. Present a perspective that’s aligned with an outcome you’re seeking. Watch what he says in response and how he says it (i.e. lean away/look to the side = putting distance from himself and your words, focusing his eyes on you/leaning towards you = aligned with the intent of his words). Based on your assessment, challenge him with your version of the story and observe how he reacts. If he alters his position, even slightly, you’ll be at the threshold of hidden information.

5. Pace/Sounds

Sounds and the deepness/richness or lack of can lead to different thought processes. Seek to understand the sounds and pace that move your negotiation counterpart to experience different thoughts. Then, employ those sounds as your assistant to uncover deeper/hidden thoughts; you should also consider using a cacophony of sounds to disrupt her current thought process.

If she’s stymied in thought, use the ‘universal focus’ or ‘infinite depth of field’ approach to assist her in liberating those thoughts (Note: In some movies, multiple scenarios occur simultaneously. The viewer decides which one to focus on.) Observe the one she chooses and assess the degree of hidden information that’s contained in that choice.

In your very next negotiation, attempt to uncover hidden information by utilizing the above strategies. You’ll be amazed at what you uncover … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#secrets #hiddensecrets #Mistakes #Fight #Negativity #cyber, cyberbullying #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Expand Your Mind for Greater Success?

 “You expand your mind based on the way you think. To heighten that expansion, focus on the way you think.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“If you could be everywhere at the same time, where would you be?” Puzzled, the recipient of the question said, “If I could be everywhere at the same time, I wouldn’t have to decide where to be.” Wrong, was the reply. “Even if you could be everywhere you’d still have to focus on being in the place that offered the greatest possibility for success”, was the retort.

As we go through life, we learn new things every day. Those that apply learned lessons from one environment into another maximize their learning.

Some people discover new ways to solve problems, apply that new knowledge against other problems and discover that something has changed for the better. Then, they stop, never realizing that they’re more applications for which that new knowledge can prove to be beneficial.

There are times we seek to solve a problem and only focus on one solution. We do so without considering other possible solutions. For example, let’s say you’re looking for a hammer to drive a nail. If you only focus on finding a hammer, you’d omit the thought that you might use a shoe, brick, piece of wood, or any object that wasn’t fragile for that purpose.

By shifting your paradigm from needing a hammer and instead focusing it on what you might use to solve the problem, you expand your thought process. In doing that, you discover new ways to address other challenges. But, you must possess an open mind before that can occur.

Throughout my consultations, trainings, and presentations, I suggest to people that they think about the way they think. I provide the insight above to highlight that.

If you become more aware of the problems you encounter and the resolutions to solve them, you’ll increase your awareness of the wondrous ways of conquering them. That will take you to a higher plane of success from which you’ll view your life’s opportunities from a whole new spectrum … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, you’ll encounter challenges and impasses that hampers a negotiation’s success. The determining factor for success will lie in the way you attempt to address such challenges. If you rely on tried and true solutions that worked in the past and they prove to be ineffective, you might succumb to the challenge. Instead, if you think with an expanded mind, one that’s not fixated on one solution, you can turn impasses into learning experiences that lead to greater insights.

So, constantly ask yourself in a negotiation and other facets of your life, how can I use what I’ve learned in one environment and apply it to another situation.

If you constantly look at situations as entries to greater opportunities and insights, your endeavors will adopt a platform from which greater knowledge will flow. First, you must open your mind to having an open mind about how you perceive challenges, problems, and situations. It’s through that open mind that new and greater success will flow.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mind #Success #Emotion #Lies #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Skills Women In Business

Beware of the 7 Most Deadly Mistakes Negotiators Make

“People that make deadly mistakes will eventually be befallen by them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To win more negotiations, you must #beware of the 7 most #deadly #mistakes that #negotiators make when #negotiating. To ignore these deadly mistakes is to negotiate at your peril.

1. They omit planning stage of negotiation

There’s value in preparing for a negotiation. You get to experience what might occur during the negotiation which prepares you for that circumstance. Inexperienced negotiators rush to a negotiation without considering the complexities that might occur. That leaves them exposed and vulnerable to chance.

  1. In this process, consider what a winning strategy might be for you and the other negotiator.
  2. Consider how you’ll get back on track if you find yourself off of it.
  3. Consider what you’ll disclose, along with how you’ll do it, and what you’ll settle for (Note: In some cases, talking less can enhance your position. It’ll allow you to gain more insight).
  4. Control emotions – Assess how you’ll act/react if certain proposals are offered. Be mindful of offering ultimatums. They can be the death knell of a negotiation.

2. They don’t position themselves properly

In every negotiation, the way you’re viewed will determine how the other negotiator engages you. Thus, if you position yourself as someone that reflects the other negotiator’s style, he’ll perceive you as more of an equal.

  1. Part of the positioning process entails building relationships.
  2. Consider the degree of confidence you’ll display (too much and he may perceive you as overbearing, too little and he may perceive you as being weak).

3. They don’t consider the opposing style the other negotiator might use

Negotiators use different styles when negotiating. Know what style the other negotiator might use during your negotiation. Be mindful that good negotiators alter their style based on circumstances.

  1. Hard style negotiator (i.e. I don’t give a darn about what you want; this is a zero-sum negotiation.)
  2. Soft style negotiator (i.e. can’t we all just get along?)
  3. Bully – Be wary of the negotiator that attempts to bully you. Note the difference in his characteristics from the hard style of negotiator. He’ll be more brisk, non-caring, rude, and demeaning.

4. They fail to create exit points in the negotiation

They’ll be times when a negotiation will not go as expected. To offset lingering longer than necessary, set points to exit the negotiation based on circumstances.

  1. Example, if the other negotiator becomes belligerent about a point that creates an impasse, consider exiting the negotiation.
  2. State that the time appears not to be right to continue the negotiation and prepare to exit.
  3. Note any demeanor changes in the other negotiator. If it changes for the better, you will have conveyed that he strayed too far.

5. They don’t read or understand body language

Body language and nonverbal clues add or detract from what’s said. Learn to discern hidden meanings to gain insight into the mental thought process that’s occurring in the mind of the other negotiator.

6. They’re not aware of value

Value can expose itself in many forms. It doesn’t have to be monetary. The more you’re aware of the other negotiator’s value proposition (i.e. what he wants from the negotiation and why), the greater the opportunity to get what you want by giving him what he’s seeking.

7. They fail to perform negotiation postmortems

There’s a richness of knowledge in performing a negotiation postmortem. You can gather insights into what occurred compared to what you thought would occur. From those insights, you can learn greater negotiation skills and become a better negotiator.

When negotiating, always beware of the 7 most deadly mistakes that negotiators make. If you avoid these mistakes, your reward will display itself in more winning and easier negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mistakes  #Fight #Negativity #cyber, cyberbullying #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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How to Prevent from Being Slaughtered When You Negotiate

“You set yourself up to be slaughtered in a negotiation if you don’t set yourself up right.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“What the heck happened in there? They slaughtered us! They out-negotiated us at every turn! Why did we not see that coming?” “I guess we didn’t plan for that type of negotiation with that type of negotiator”, was the reply.

People engage in negotiations because they seek to maximize an outcome. In that quest, some people lose their focus. They use the same negotiation strategies they’ve used in the past and wonder why they get slaughtered when those strategies are no longer effective. To prevent that from happening to you, note the following.

Positioning

Environment: Know what the best environment is to conduct your negotiation in. That environment may encompass doing so in writing, or phone, versus in person. There are different dynamics that come into play when negotiating in different environments. Know the environment that will most benefit your style of negotiating compared to the negotiation style of the opposing negotiator.

Perception: Everyone has an image of who the person is that they’re negotiating with. That persona is based in part on what the perceiver knows about the other negotiator; that stems from what the perceiver has seen, heard, and thought of that person in the past.

Project the persona warranted for the negotiation. Take into consideration the negotiation style of the opposing negotiator in your calculation (i.e. hard (I’ll crush you), soft (I’ll go along to get along)). The perception you cast and how you perceive the other negotiator will determine the flow of the negotiation. To prevent being caught off guard, about your perception of the other negotiator and him of you, be adaptable as to the persona you project.

Strategy

Entity: Know who you’re really dealing with (i.e. what force and sources motivates the other negotiator). Consider how he interprets information and how best to message that information related to the messenger (i.e. your persona). Your message may be received more favorably with one persona based on how that persona is perceived.

Leverage: When assembling strategies, assess how you’ll employ the powers of leverage. Leverage is a tool that can embolden you with positional power (i.e. power you have for a specified time), which can improve your negotiation position. Be cautious of how you use leverage. If you state you’ll engage in an action and don’t follow through, not only will you lose the ability to invoke leverage further in the negotiation, you also run the risk of losing credibility.

End Game

What’s your end game and how will you know when you’ve entered it? You should develop the answers to those questions during the planning phase of your negotiation. The plan should encompass what might trigger the end game phase of the negotiation, how you might promote it to occur if it’s lagging, and what you might do to terminate the negotiation if you discern that your efforts will not get you there.

By having markers denoting possible exit points from a negotiation, you lessen the possibility of staying engaged longer than what’s necessary; staying engaged longer increases your vulnerability by making unnecessary concessions.

Once you arm yourself with the thoughts mentioned above, you’ll insulate yourself from the brutality that could otherwise occur. That insulation will also be a shield that prevents you from being slaughtered in your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#slaughter #Fight #Negativity #cyber, cyberbullying #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

 

 

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How to Use Anchoring Better in Your Negotiations

“Anchoring is a way to keep a negotiation within boundaries, but it can also be a way to weigh it down.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“We can pay your bill if you’re reasonable about the settlement. That means, we’re willing to start the discussion at $300,000, not the $650,000 that you indicated. Anything else is a none starter. Do you wish to start the discussion?” Those were the words of one negotiator to another. He was using a technique known as anchoring to advantage his position. How would you respond?

The following information will give you insights as to how you can use and defend the technique of anchoring in your negotiations.

What is anchoring?

Anchoring is a strategy that you can use to set boundaries in a negotiation. If you and the other negotiator agree to those boundaries, you have the confinements in which the negotiation will occur.

Be mindful, depending upon the depth of the negotiation, those outposts can be violated and lead the negotiation to unsavory places. Thus, be cognizant of the signals that indicate that the other negotiator might be in the process of abating those boundaries. At the first sign of such actions, note the cause that promoted the change in behavior. That will give you the clue about what to address if you wish to bring the negotiation back in bounds.

Why use anchoring?

As stated, anchoring is a way to set parameters around the negotiation. Therefore, if abided by, the agreement should allow for an easier flowing negotiation.

Boundaries in a negotiation can be a curse or a blessing. That’s the inherent dilemma in using this strategy. If you’re negotiating with a weaker negotiator, you can skillfully use anchoring to limit his abilities, while leaving your options open to explore the upper realms of possibilities. If you’re the weaker negotiator (i.e. fewer resources, little leverage, etc.), you risk being susceptible to an unfavorable negotiation outcome.

Factors to consider when using anchoring tactics.

  1. Negotiation (resources, personalities)

As mentioned above, you should consider the resources that you and the other negotiator have at your availability. The more resources that a negotiator has, the more leverage he can bring to bear on the negotiation. That doesn’t mean if you have fewer resources that you’ll automatically fall into the weaker category. It means, if you’re the weaker negotiator, you should attempt to limit the leverage of the other negotiator so he’ll not be able to employ those resources against you.

In addition, consider the other negotiator’s personality. Some negotiators don’t like to take advantage of others. And other negotiators will stomp on you while you’re down to keep you from getting up. The better you know the personality type that you’re negotiating with, the better you’ll be able to predict what he might do.

  1. Leverage points to consider (i.e. urgency, unseen negotiators, etc.)

If you have a grasp into the urgency, deadlines, and timeframes that the other negotiator needs to conclude the negotiation, you’ll have insights into how you can use anchoring to lead him down the negotiation path. For example, if you know that he must conclude your negotiation before another phase starts with those that are not part of your negotiation, you can anchor his deadline to a timeframe. Then, if he doesn’t make concessions that you request, you can slow the negotiation down.

Anchoring can be an extremely powerful strategy to use in your negotiation. Most negotiations contain some form of anchoring embedded in them with them identified as such. If you’re more aware of anchoring in your negotiations, you’ll be less likely to get sunk by them … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Anchoring #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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How to Combat Bullies That Use Disinformation When Negotiating

“The difference between disinformation and a lie is the degree that one doesn’t want to disclose the truth.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He said there were four other companies competing for the contract. He told us that we’d better submit a very low bid if we wanted to be the winner. Later, I discovered there were no other companies bidding. He used disinformation to get us to lower our bid.” That was the information disclosed in a debriefing session after members from an organization had engaged in what they thought was a negotiation opportunity to acquire additional business.

Bullies use disinformation in negotiations to enhance their negotiation position; this can be anyone in a perceived position of authority, be they in that position for a short or long-term. Some people label disinformation as lying. The difference between the two is the severity with which the bully wishes to keep you uninformed via the information he delivers to you. It’s very important to confront the bully when you become aware that he’s using disinformation tactics because, if you don’t confront him, you lay yourself bare to more deceit.

Here’s how you can confront, combat, and conquer a bully that utilizes the tactics of disinformation in your negotiations.

Confront

First, identify why the bully is using disinformation as a tactic. Understand what he’s attempting to conceal and what he believes he’ll achieve by doing so.

Once you have a handle on what you believe his intent is, verify your assumptions by confronting him with them. Note how he responds to your queries. While misinformation (i.e. he’s misinformed) can be thought of as him possessing unintended callousness, disinformation is more strategic. In using disinformation, the bully is signaling that he’s going to be more devious in dealing with you.

Combat

One way to combat a bully that employs the tactic of disinformation is to use the tactic on him. It’s even better if he knows that you’re using it. You can state to him that you’re doing so because, if he’s not going to be forthright, then you won’t be either. You can adopt a stern body posture/image to enhance your message. Just be aware that this may take the negotiation into a territory fraught with angst. Thus, you should weigh the degree that you combat him against the possibility of completely alienating him.

Conquer

To conquer the opposing negotiator that’s using this ploy, be prepared to combat him until he relinquishes its use. That may require using leverage to ‘out’ him to others about his usage, along with stating that you won’t allow yourself to be treated in such a manner. It may also require that you threaten to end the negotiation if he persists. Recognize that you’re playing hardball at that time and to win, you may have to get bloodied and/or dirty.

Negotiating with someone that uses disinformation as his ally can be a vexing proposition. The better you can identify this tactic, and the reason it’s being employed against you, the faster you’ll be able to address it. That will help you determine how and to what degree to continue in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#UseDisinformation #disinformation #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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Why Perceived Value is a Choice

It’s difficult to give people a good deal! This is especially true when your prices match products that aren’t known for high quality. We discovered this perceived value problem when we started Barefoot Wine. Our idea was to deliver 10-dollar-bottle quality for 5 dollars. Seems like a hit, right? Wrong!

We were faced with the perception that anything sold for 5 dollars must be mediocre, because most choices at that price point were, well, mediocre. Their producers said, “What do you expect for 5 bucks?” And we were grouped into that same mentality. So what if we were written up for quality in all the industry journals, and we won gold medals and Best of Class in open pricing competitions? “It can’t be any good at 5 dollars!” we’d hear.

It took years for us to demonstrate Barefoot’s excellent quality at the 5-dollar price point. Marketing consultants advised us to raise our prices, both to demonstrate “quality,” and to separate our products from the 5-dollar “cheapies.”

We held our ground. We kept our price, and added signs of value to our packaging instead. We used multicolor screening on the logo, gold foil ink, we covered the fill line with longer capsules, and we were the first in the wine industry to add gold medal stickers on the bottling line. But that wasn’t all! We added third-party accolades with point-of-purchase merchandising materials. When we won a competition, we’d stop what we were doing and get the word out to retail buyers and on the shelves in that territory within 24 hours.

What about the price? Eventually, we “communicated quality and value” by increasing it by 1 dollar and then offering a 1-dollar discount immediately. This way, people perceived the value like this: “This is a higher quality product and it’s on ‘special’ for a limited time.”

Ultimately, these tactics were pricey, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s what was necessary to avoid the “cheap” stigma. Permanently raising the price would’ve ended up discouraging the customers who had already discovered our value, hurt our volume, and put an end to any recommendations coming from our growing clientele.

We learned an unforgettable lesson in perceived value from a New Jersey storeowner we were trying to sell. When we were in the parking lot, we saw a storefront with giant signs that covered up the windows entirely. They were just prices—not even associated with any brands or products. Just numbers. But they were huge! 6 feet high! They said, “3.99” and “5.99.” We were confused.

So, we asked the owner, Abe, “Hey, what’s with the big prices in the window?” and he responded, “You’ve got to qualify the customer! Everybody has $3.99 in their jeans. It puts them at ease. They can afford to come in. They know that at least something in here is $3.99!” So, here was a storeowner using absolutely nothing but a gigantic sign with prices to draw customers. Wow!

Abe continued as our jaws began to drop, and said, “Turn around and tell me what you see.” As we examined the store, we saw many products, each one with a big sign sticking out. On each sign was a two-foot-high price—$4.99, $8.99, $12.99, even $19.99. We said to Abe, “Big prices?” Abe got excited: “They are big prices, but not high prices. BIG PRICES!”

He showed us one particular product. “Ya see that one over there? I had it for $5.99 and no one would buy it. Now it’s at $8.99 with a much bigger sign and I can’t keep it in stock!”

Abe’s customer base saw the bigger signs as a limited-time special, marked down from an even higher price. Wow—it worked!

There are a million suggestions and ideas out there about how to tackle the value perception challenge, but the best and most current resource we have is from the cofounder of Ninja Outreach, Dave Schneider. Dave has excellently defined the issue that brand builders run into when trying to seem valuable without breaking the bank. He offers the most helpful and all-inclusive list we’ve ever seen of ways to enhance your brand’s perceived value. Take a look!

And if you’re interested in learning more about our successes and mistakes while building Barefoot Wine, check out our New York Times Bestselling book, The Barefoot Spirit: How Hardship, Hustle, and Heart Built America’s #1 Wine Brand.  You’ll learn a lot, and you’ll get a good laugh too!

For more, read on: http://c-suitenetworkadvisors.com/advisor/michael-houlihan-and-bonnie-harvey/

 

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When Should You Act More Like A Stubborn Child

“Childlike behavior can be advantageous to adults when adults use them in an adult-like manner.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He was told that he should not act like a stubborn child. Then he became more obstinate.” Those were the words exchanged by associates as they discussed the behavior of a friend of theirs.

When they were children, most adults possessed a limitless amount of imagination and a boundless degree of determination. As they became older, more mature, their childlike actions were abandoned so that they could be perceived as fitting into their environments. Unknowingly, conformity to those environment norms may have cost them opportunities.

Do you recall your childhood? When you sought a specific outcome, how determined were you to achieve it? How many ‘adult rules’ did you break in your efforts to uncover the solution to your quest? Then, you got older and supposedly wiser, which meant, you left those childish ways behind. Truth be known, those childish ways served you well then and they can serve you well, now.

When you find yourself in situations that you really want to get to the bottom of why certain actions occurred, or if you want to enhance the probability of a particular outcome, be persistent in uncovering a solution.

The point is, you will only receive in life what your actions indicate you’re willing to put forth to achieve. If something is denied you and you don’t put up a fight to get it, you send the signal to the holder of that source that what you sought wasn’t really that important to you. Either way, you’ve set the stage for future interactions and degree that you’ll fight for what you want. Thus, if you give up easily when requesting something, the person to whom you make that request knows that he only has to say no a few times and you’ll slither back into your den of mediocrity. Your hopes for future opportunities will lackluster and you’ll have no one to blame except yourself.

When it comes to achieving more in life, when appropriate, consider acting like you did when you were a child. Ask why, how come, who else, type of questions. You’ll be rewarded with greater outcomes in life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Some negotiators use stonewalling tactics to keep you from reaching your goals. They may do so to enhance their negotiation position. If you use probing questions (e.g. why can’t that be done, who else might be able to approve this, what do you suggest we do to avoid this impasse), you’ll receive greater outcomes from your negotiation efforts. That’s true because you’ll acquire more insight into what’s really behind the other negotiator’s efforts to disallow your request. Once you know that, you’ll be better positioned to hone in on the discovery of what he’d rather keep hidden. Your probing with questions, like you did when you were a child, will reveal those hidden opportunities and bring them to light.

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself

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In Negotiations Be On the Alert For Setup Questions

“Setup questions can be to a person what a snake charmer is to a snake, mesmerizing. Watch the person that uses setup questions to mesmerize you!” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I can’t believe he asked me when I stopped beating my wife. I’ve never beaten my wife; I love her too much to do that! Those were the dejected words spoken by a man that was in the throes of a messy divorce proceeding to the question posed by the lawyer of his soon to be ex-wife.

Are you aware of how and why setup questions are designed to motivate you to a particular thought or action? In negotiations, you should be on the alert for setup questions.

A setup question (e.g. Most people would be horrified if that happened to them, right?) is used to position someone’s response as measured against what is viewed as being normal by others; it can also be used to alter the thought process of an individual.

The challenge to the responder is, if he answers contrary to the norm, he appears to be outside of that norm. That makes him appear to be abnormal. That’s a position that most people attempt to avoid, especially when such is exposed to others. The perception of abnormality can position someone as, he’s not like the rest of us, which can place that person in a squeamish position. It’s another way to apply a sense of unseen but felt leverage upon him.

When this tactic is used to alter someone’s thought process, it can be even more devastating, due to the attack on that person’s mental psyche. Thus, it can also be used to take someone off the offense and put them on the defense.

This tactic becomes more burdensome to the recipient of this ploy when used by someone that’s an aggressive or bully type of negotiator. The reason being, when confronted by an aggressive negotiator, more than likely, you’re already experiencing a heightened sense of anxiety. That may be in the form of just being more aware of your negotiation environment. The point is, you’re not relaxed, you’re on edge. That will prohibit your normal thought process from occurring which could lead to making errant decisions.

To recount, in all of your negotiations, be aware that setup questions may be posed at different times and for multiple purposes. They can be used:

For the purpose of altering your mental state. Once your mental state is altered, you may be more susceptible to falling into a defense that simply keeps you off the offense.

For positioning purposes, a setup question may be used to have you viewed in an unflattering manner, so as to marginalize the perception that others have of you and to disallow them from having empathy to your point or position.

To alter one’s mind, such questions may also be used in an attempt to make you forget, defuse, or confuse the point you were attempting to make.

The more alert you are to the possibility of setup questions being used in your negotiations, and how they might be used, the better prepared you’ll be at defending yourself against them. Doing so will give you an advantage in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Investing Personal Development Sales

Why I Hate the Term “Value Messaging”.

I’ve read the term “value messaging” a lot lately, and it disturbs me.  It’s growing in popularity. Even my own company, CSO Insights, uses it to describe how to communicate value to a prospect.

CEB promotes a combination of commercial Insights (customer value, level of “customer specificity” varies) and helping prospects facilitate their buying journey (decision process value) as characteristics of high-performing sales teams.

RAIN Group extolls value-oriented selling as by far the most effective. They have data that shows that a value-driven sales culture is higher performing, lower turnover, more rewarding, and has happier customers than average sales forces.

All of these experts aren’t wrong, the “M-word” just means the wrong thing to too many people. We all agree that focusing on value is what top-performing sales organizations do.  I just find that particular term misleading.

“Messaging” probably isn’t the right word.

The word “messaging” can mislead people. Most dictionaries define “messaging” as unidirectional (although sometimes back-and-forth serial “telling”) communication methods over electronic media. That’s clearly not what the experts above mean; I imagine that they are attempting to broaden the dictionary definition to include in-person delivery.

Even if we remove electronic medium from the definition, the “unidirectional” part is what bothers me. Broadening it to mean ”formulating a communication for impact” still carries a “telling” flavor.  What many people mis-hear, or mis-define it as:  mass messaging, standardized messaging, scripted messaging.  That kind of communication is not how customer-perceived value (there is no other kind of value than “customer perceived”, of course) is best created.  The word “messaging” can ever evolve beyond that unidirectional message flow.

Worse, there are too many people in the world ready to believe that there is such a thing as a magic pitch, a magic script, that will cause the heavens to open up and rain revenue. Most harmfully, some of these people are senior level executives with little exposure to selling, who think that sales is some (“hire the right person and pray”) black box.  The word “messaging” doesn’t free these people from that misperception.

One part of “messaging” I do like is the intentionality that should precede sending an electronic message. We should retain a sense of intentionality and thoughtful message crafting before delivery, jettisoning the unidirectional baggage that the word also carries.

The term “value” in the phrase should bring us all back on track.

Value means the desirability of a perceived outcome from a course of action (such as a purchase). Value only exists in the mind of a customer. While some portion of value may be common to all customers, full value (the desirability of all achieved outcomes) to a prospect is highly individualized.  Value is personal.  If the prospect does not understand full value, they may buy, but will do so without fully-formed preference, probably not at an optimal price, and almost certainly more vulnerable to a competitor’s discounting behavior.

How can you script or standardize communication about something so individual and personal as value? Especially in complex/consensus business-to-business selling?  When you communicate a high level, extremely predictable (and easy to compete with) value on a standardized/canned basis, world-class selling requires more…much more.

“Value dialogue” is what great sellers and sales organizations do. Not deft messaging.  

Value creation in the B2B world involves dialogue, empathy for a customer, deep listening, and business acumen.

Dialogue is uncovering, developing, and expanding value. Both parties are listening and responding to one another. This is the human art of creating shared meaning.  “Messaging” can create a reason to have dialogue…perhaps even some high-level generic value, but will never result in the prospective buyer realizing full, personal value.

Empathy is placing yourself in the customer’s position.It is the foundation for true dialogue. I’m not sure this is trainable, but it can be uncovered in a (pre-hire?) assessment, and developed further.

Deep listening is what separates serial back-and-forth messaging from true dialogue. This is trainable, assuming a minimum level of customer empathy.

Business acumen helps a seller refine empathy into dialogue about value. You can’t “know thy customer’s business” without knowing about business. Business acumen is 100% a training issue.

CEBs “commercial insights” require sellers to be expert in their customer’s business.  Half of all “Challenger” sellers provide those commercial insights via unidirectional messaging, without empathy and dialogue, and end up being a company’s lowest sales performers.  Without business acumen, those commercial insights are little more than marketing messages – sellers must personalize any insights to each prospect.

Research by CSO Insights and many others indicates that, while many customers bring sellers later in their buying journey than ever before, in after extensive self-education, that they welcome one particular kind of seller earlier: one who can provide perspective:  applying their domain solution expertise to a customer’s unique organizational and business challenges.  This requires dialogue, not messaging.

Don’t be misdirected

Language matters. Unidirectional statements are a far cry from value creation dialogue.  Dialogue isn’t “messaging”, at least by any current English definition of the word.

I work with sales organizations to have great purposeful dialogue.  With intention and empathy.  I can also raise your sales organization’s business acumen.

Are you wrestling with how to improve sales performance, and does any of this resonate with you?  It was a unidirectional message, so I don’t expect magic results. I’m actually interested in hearing your individual story, to see if I can provide another set of eyes on your situation, whether we end up working together or not.  Contact me if you’d like to have a dialogue.

To your success!