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7 Characteristics of a Bully and Why You Should Care

“In order to deal with a bully, you must know what one looks like.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He will lie to your face, and not give a damn if you know he’s lying!” Those were the exasperated words of one member on the same negotiation team to another.

Do you know anyone that possesses the following 7 characteristics? If so, they just might be a bully.

When involved in #negotiations with someone that’s overly aggressive or someone that’s an outright bully, you should take note of the following characteristics to identify who he is.

1. Bullies tend to be egocentric. They have to be the center of attention in order to satisfy their need to appear superior to others. Thus, they will belittle, demean, and put others down to maintain the appearance of their superiority.

2. Observe a bully’s associates. Bullies tend to bring like-minded people that are weaker and like himself into his fold; he uses the former as foils in the plots he perpetrates against others. The caveat being, the bully needs to be the leader and will only allow those in his immediate sphere that will subjugate themselves to him. Therefore, be mindful of the fact that unknowingly you’re also negotiating with his minions when you’re negotiating with him.

3. Bullies alter facts to make them fit the situation. Doing so is his attempt to psychologically arrest the logical thought process of others, in an attempt to bend their outlook to his will and perspective. When negotiating with him, be selective about the points you choose to address and be mindful of the retorts you offer to refute him. Facts may be viewed as demonic objects that cause you to lose sway with him.

4. Loyalty between a bully and his associates is good as long as there are no threats in his camp. Once threats occur, loyalty loses its two-way appeal; the appeal is revealed as nothing more then a tool he employs to trick others into following him. He will throw supporters under the bus and find blame with them to account for his short-comings!

5. A bully seeks constant praise from others because that feeds his ego and his need for self-aggrandizement. It serves as validation that he’s superior to others. Therefore, seek ways to praise a bully in a negotiation. That will endear you to him. Just make sure not to fall into his attempts to pull you closer to his views than is necessary.

6. Bullies lie incessantly because their view has to be the predominant one. Thus, they attempt to alter the outlook of others to make others conform to their perspective. This action of the bully is very dangerous because one never really knows what to believe when a bully speaks.

7. The only way a bully can rise to his perch is to do so by keeping others under the spell that he casts. Once he loses any appeal that makes others bow to him, he can become more aggressive in his attempts to reacquire the power he’s lost. That’s when he’s most dangerous. During such times, he may engage in activities that are very far outside the realm of rationality.

Dealing with bullies is always a dicey proposition. Being oblivious to his characteristics can lead to a stressful negotiation, one in which you may lose before you realize what has occurred. If you use the 7 traits above to identify with whom you’re dealing, you’ll have an idea of what you’re up against. From there, you can be on guard as to how you engage him in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You Being Hurt by the Perception of Power?

“Power is perceptional and fluid. As it shifts, it’s strengthened or diluted. Know the direction of its flow when making decisions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Always recognize when you’re in a state of euphoria and control your actions appropriately.

“He was great! I feel energized! Now, I believe I can accomplish all of my goals. That’s why I bought his $4,999 Super Deluxe Program!”

Such were the words of a young man in his late 20s. He had just attended a seminar where he was pumped up, while unknowingly his wallet was being deflated. In a few short months, he’d come to regret spending his money on that Deluxe Program. By then he’d be jobless and unable to pay his rent.

How are you victimized by the influence of perceived power? To what degree are you mentally manipulated by it?

When you sense power, it can be like an aphrodisiac. It stirs up arousal deeply in your soul. It releases endorphins within you and makes you momentarily feel like you rule the world. Yeah, it’s a good feeling! The problem or challenge that you might consider is, what form of manipulation are you under when you’re having such sensations and what will be the cost that you pay later?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, pumped up by the environment you’re in, realize what’s happening to you. You’re in a state of euphoria. While in that state your normal mode of rationalization is hijacked. You see yourself, and you become something that’s bigger than normal; you become and feel invincible.

The reason it’s so important to recognize when you find yourself in such a state is due to the actions you might commit while in that mindset. First, it’s a feeling of being on a natural high, which you want to maintain psychologically. That means you’ll engage in behaviors to sustain that feeling. You’ll even engage in behaviors that may later prove to be to your detriment. Then, when it’s time to pay the piper, you may experience insufficient funds to do so.

No matter what environment you’re in, always aspire to maintain self-control. That means, control your emotions and don’t let your emotions control you, or your actions. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, one ploy that negotiators use is an offer that appears to be too good. At first, you may be skeptical of it and upon deeper examination adopt the adage of, one should not look a gift horse in the mouth (i.e. accept it for what it is and be thankful). Some negotiators will even disguise this ‘gift’ as a mistake they made that turns out to be to your benefit. The purpose of the ‘gift offering’ is to get you into a state of euphoria so you disconnect your normal reasoning process.

Suffice it to say, the more aware you are of controlling your emotions in a negotiation, the sharper will be your decision-making process. You’ll be less likely manipulated by the misperception of perceived power, which means you’ll be less likely to be victimized by it.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #Relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Use ‘Even-If’ to Win Hard Negotiations

“Even if you’re right about being wrong, you’re right. There’s power in the use of the ‘even-if’ proposition.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To what degree do you seek creative solutions when involved in hard-nosed negotiations? Such negotiations can be extremely demanding and fraught with stress. When coupled with someone that’s a hard-type negotiator (i.e. a negotiator that either has a zero-sum perspective of the negotiation or someone that thrives on being obstinate in a negotiation), you can find yourself making unplanned concessions if you’re not mindful of what you’re doing.

One way to employ a creative solution when involved in a hard negotiation, is to use the ‘even-if’ strategy. It can quicken the pace on the path to a successful negotiation outcome. While it can be a viable ploy for you, you need to also be watchful of it being used against you.

What is the ‘even-if’ strategy:

Stated succinctly, the even-if strategy allows its user to stealthily subordinate the other negotiator’s proposition to his. The strategy avoids potential conflicts that might occur if the other negotiator’s point was addressed prior to addressing yours. Thus, using this strategy successfully, allows you to put your point into the forefront of the discussion and it alters the flow of the negotiation.

How to use ‘even-if’:

The strategy can be used to make your point prior to addressing the other negotiator’s perspective. It’s done in the hopes that your point will dilute or alter his thought process. To use the strategy, you can say something akin to, “even if we could save $10 million by accepting your offer, at this time, we do not have that much money to invest. I suggest we look at a solution that may be closer to the $5 million threshold.” By doing this, as stated above, you’ve repositioned yourself and his offer by utilizing this strategy in this manner.

Best time to employ ‘even-if’:

Anytime you wish to subordinate the opposing negotiator’s point or request to yours, is a good time to employ this strategy. While this strategy can be used at any point in any negotiation, it’s even more powerful when used with someone that’s aggressive or someone that attempts to bully you. In that case, the strategy mollifies the bully. You’re not stating that he’s crazy or irrational for making such an outlandish request, you’re first acknowledging him from a respectful aspect and simply stating that you can’t meet his offer. In so doing, you potentially side-step any aggressive behavior that might stem from his otherwise abusive demeanor.

How to defend from ‘even-if’:

Since this strategy is used to put one proposition on the table for discussion ahead of another, you should be mindful of when the other negotiator attempts to use this strategy against you. The way to defend against it is to simply state, ‘Okay, let’s discuss your point next.’ You can use the tonality of your voice to position this as a request or a statement. Then, go right into the point that you wanted to discuss. A smart negotiator may not let you get away with your attempt to place your agenda ahead of his. Thus, you must be prepared to decide if you’ll acquiesce on one point to receive a concession on your request later. Therein lies another way you can use this strategy. If you get into a give-and-take as to whose point will be discussed first, you can present a point that’s nothing more than a red herring to be sacrificed for this purpose.

Even if (wink) you never use this strategy, knowing about it will make you a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Your Mind Has Been Primed

“Like priming for paint, future actions are primed by the past.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Consider this – for the next 20 seconds, think about a time when you were most happy in your life. Please, do it!

Okay, did you do it? Did you think about a time when you were most happy in your life? If you did, now I’d like you to think about someone that you had a recent dispute with, someone that angered you. Is the image of that occasion duller than it was prior to thinking of a happier time? If it wasn’t, you need to learn how to let go of things that cause you angst. You’re only hurting yourself by hanging on to hurtful thoughts. If the memory of the spat you had with someone recently subsided, even if it’s just a smidgen, you were primed by the happy thought you engaged in before recalling that negative situation.

So, what does this mean? It means, when you have pleasant thoughts about past occurrences, the thoughts that follow do not appear to be as harsh. Of course, with the passage of time, your mind will gravitate back to what’s normal for it, related to how you view things that occur in your life. But, that also means that you can control how you view such occurrences. Thus, if you choose to prime your mind with thoughts of happier times, you can choose how you react to everything that occurs to you.

Priming your mind is the door through which you can choose to move in a more positive direction in life. It can also be used to highlight the negative aspects of your life, if you choose not to be positive. The point is, the choice is always yours.

I don’t wish to oversimplify this concept, but it really is simple. You have the power to choose how you feel and how you’ll react to everything that happens to you. Realize that power, control that power, use that power in a positive manner … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, your mind is primed by what has occurred in prior negotiations that you’ve been a party to. Realize that as a fact and be mindful of the prejudices you possess going into the negotiation. Plus, if you wish the other negotiator to be in a more pleasant state of mind, prime him with positive thoughts about his past before entering into parts of the negotiation that might be fraught with potential peril.

Engaging in a negotiation with the thought of how you’ll prime yourself, and the other negotiator, will give you greater insight into how you can sidestep potential pitfalls. It will also allow you to be quicker in the avoidance of those pitfalls.

Quick, think about a lucky leprechaun. Did you see a little person in green? Now, think of a number between 1 and 10. Did you think of the number 7? If you did, you displayed to yourself the effects of priming. Most people associate a leprechaun with good luck and someone attired in green. If you didn’t think of a little person in green or the number 7, that’s okay. You think differently than most people. Be aware of that.

Priming works – use it and it will work for you in your negotiations.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Priming #mindpriming #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Marketing Negotiations Sales

Seven Keys to Get Up, Get Speaking, and Get Paid

Economic cycles come and go. Even when the conventional wisdom seems to be that “no one’s hiring speakers,” you can be sure there’s always a bull market somewhere. When it’s time to reboot, recover, and reignite your speaking business, these seven key strategies and best practices are indispensable.

Key #1: Professional speaker is a skill set, not a job description.

What would the average speaker do if he could no longer speak? What if she were unable to travel? For someone self-defined purely as a “speaker,” that might be the end of the road.

But they’d still have a professional speaker skill set; it would simply need to be deployed in other ways. With that in mind, it makes sense to get comfortable with those other ways right now. Multiple revenue streams provide business model resilience—when one part of the business is down, another might be up. It’s insurance at the very simplest level. Building that insurance into the speaker’s business plan today ensures getting paid for expertise regardless of industry trends, personal challenges, or unexpected family issues.

Best Practice #1: Diversify methods and media.

Consider:

  • Books
  • E-books
  • Workbooks
  • Field guides
  • Meeting starters
  • Audio programs (CD, mp3, podcast)
  • Video programs (DVD, streaming, mini-lessons)
  • E-learning modules (using simple tools like Articulate Presenter)
  • Consulting packages
  • Coaching programs
  • Teleseminars
  • Webinars
  • Action packs
  • Implementation kits
  • E-mail courses
  • Membership websites
  • Online forums and communities
  • Assessments
  • Mobile apps
  • Certification programs
  • Licensing programs
  • Affiliate programs
  • Joint ventures

Choose the most suitable methods, get them on the calendar within the next year, and execute!

Key #2: Every speaking business needs a CEO.

The primary trait that separates successful speakers from their struggling counterparts? Successful speakers don’t consider themselves speakers. They consider themselves the CEO of their speaking business. CEOs demand a relentless focus on MMA—Money-Making Activity. CEOs know when their company is profitable and when it is not. CEOs have the rare skill of being able to panic early—and then taking massive, decisive action to correct the course before it’s too late.

Most important, CEOs are never OK with not making money. They put all their weight, all their creativity, and all their commitment behind making payroll. Speakers who think they don’t have employees are dead wrong—they’re Employee #1. Are they paying themselves enough? Do they give themselves enough time off? A CEO would give priority to the employee responsible for 100% of her company’s profitability. A solo entrepreneur speaker needs to do the same.

Best Practice #2: Schedule paydays.

Speakers who have employees already have a payroll. But a company of one needs to do the same, just without payroll software or vendor—even if it’s a simple as marking the calendar for the second and fourth Friday of each month as “payday.” The quickest way to earn $50,000 as a speaker is to divide that number by 24 ($2,083.33) and every payday, transfer that amount from a business account to a personal one. (That’s also the quickest route to $100,000, $200,000, or more!) To start, it’s easiest to ignore marketing, taxes, operations, and so on, but that’s rarely the biggest challenge. The idea is to establish an early warning system that’s focused on MMAs when the coffers are running low. The self-paycheck practice provides that, while establishing a much-needed sense of urgency with regard to cash flow.

Key #3: Establish a “Now More than Ever” mind-set.

Too many speakers complain that the economy has damaged their businesses. Buyers are no longer buying. Meetings are no longer meeting. There’s a laundry list of aches, pains, symptoms, and woe-is-me declarations of how life suddenly got very unfair for professional speakers.

Three words of wisdom: Figure it out.

That means figuring out what buyers are deeply concerned about, what problems they are eager to solve, and what priorities they’re already spending money on. It requires determining the strategies and goals for which they are accountable. And it demands ferreting out what solutions they’re actively seeking right now.

The speaker who does that is like a doctor during a time of epidemic disease, equipped with the medicine and ready with the cure. In tough times, the services of a doctor are in greater demand, not less. A resource primed to cure a buyer’s exact woes will experience limited resistance. So, too, speakers who believe that
their ideas are needed now more than ever and are in demand now more than ever will be valued by their clients now more than ever.

Best Practice #3: Live in the prospects’ world.

Business-minded speakers think about their clients’ problems, bosses, obstacles, and customers—not just their own. What are the first steps? Research. Preparation. Homework. Industry, regional, and company news is now at everyone’s fingertips online. Direct quotes, video clips, and audio interviews make excellent firsthand intelligence—and don’t forget real, live customers. Without intelligently researching a prospect’s issues, challenges, and pressures, it’s impossible to come up with credible, high-perceived-value solutions. The most
convincing way to approach prospects is being armed with:

  • Interviews
  • Surveys
  • Research
  • Data gathering

Expertise plus valuable data is a killer combination.

Key #4: Get serious, get help, or get out.

The top professionals in any field realize that they cannot achieve success alone. They ask for help. They invest in the resources, tools, technology, and people who can accelerate both their learning curve and their doing curve.

What’s the best place to start? The good news is that it doesn’t cost a dime—it’s an internal commitment to take this business of speaking seriously. It’s not a part-time thing for fun, it’s not volunteer work, and it’s not something to “try” between jobs. Do military fighter pilots “try” flying combat missions? Do doctors go into neurosurgery “part-time”? Do symphony orchestra conductors “give it a shot”? No! True professionals make serious commitments to their professional training, years-long preparation and study, thousands of hours of practice, and a relentless pursuit of excellence.

Upon ruthless, objective examination, the areas where a speaker needs help will become quite clear. And that’s OK: Successful professionals reach out for help more often than average people—not less.

The third option is to get out. This doesn’t mean quitting the speaking business—far from it. Rather, it’s about taking a professional break and coming back into this business through a different door, which is precisely what I did in 2007. My speaking and consulting business had become a grind. I wasn’t having fun. I needed a break. I took a job at a training company, booking speakers for events, webinars, and live conferences.

Within two weeks of wearing my conference producer/meeting planner hat, I immediately realized what I had been doing wrong as a speaker. In 2008, I jumped back into my own business, and the lessons from my time “on the other side of the desk” gave me everything I needed to reinvent my speaking business and share these same lessons with my professional speaker clients on what it takes to get booked from the buyer’s perspective.

Best Practice #4: Recommit.

Getting serious means recommitting to the speaking business: upgrading collateral materials; losing the dated aol.com email address; dumping the homemade inkjet business cards; and revamping that 10-year-old website.

Getting help might include: free help (NSA buddies, colleagues, friends, mastermind groups); low-cost help (NSA chapter meetings, webinars, PEGs, hiring an assistant or intern); premium help (attending an NSA convention, working with a speech coach, hiring a speaker marketing firm).

Finally, getting out can vary from the moderate to the extreme. Consider a part-time consulting or on-demand position with a favorite client, association, or company to see what makes them tick. Do some subcontracting or get a job with a training company, consulting firm, or executive education program. Speaker’s bureaus and conference-producing organizations are also terrific options. Don’t consider this as exile; it’s a paid learning experience. Keeping one’s identity as a professional speaker helps, too: While I was working on the inside, my business card proudly displayed the NSA Member logo right next to my title.

Key #5: Build a Thought Leadership Platform.

A speaker’s collected body of wisdom, expertise, tools, tactics, strategies, sound bites, and philosophies compose a thought leadership platform. New technologies and new media come and go. Consider the evolution from print newsletters and glossy magalogs through websites, e-zines, blogging, audio, video, and social media—but the one thing that does not change is professional speakers’ need to be thought leaders.

Writing is writing. Ideas are ideas. It may sound like heresy, but if Ben Franklin were alive today, he would be a blogger, thanks to the technology’s ability to reach a great number of people quickly with ideas that positively impact their lives.

Best Practice #5: Repurpose.

The sound bite is “Create content daily.” Meeting planners want to see a speaker’s thinking process, showcased in meaty articles with lots of specifics and do-it-now tactics. The key isn’t just telling people what to think but, rather, what to do and how to do it. Actionable information is a powerful tool.

Here’s a one-word shortcut to great articles: repurpose. Keynotes become articles; articles become special reports; special reports can become audio programs; audio programs can become the rough draft for a book. With a solid thought leadership platform, the different ways to package and profit from ideas
are limitless.

Key #6: Become an NSA Certified Speaking Professional.

Ordinarily, I couldn’t care less about industry acronyms. But consider it from the perspective of association executives, meeting planners, and corporate decision makers: If only 8 percent of speakers have a CSP designation and 92 percent don’t, who are they going to feel more confident about hiring? It is a risk-reduction strategy for your buyers, an instant recognition of a speaker’s professional qualifications.

Yes, there are plenty of exceptional speakers who are not CSPs. But from a buyer’s perspective, how many CSPs are likely to be awful speakers whom they will regret hiring? Extremely few. The safer bet gets booked more often.

Best Practice #6: Get certified.

Start an application at www.nsaspeaker.org. The CSP tracking spreadsheet and application packet make it simple to record stats rather than trying to reconstruct the who, what, where, and when five years down the road.

Key #7: Focus marketing on the mighty few.

The era of “better, faster, more” productivity is over. Multitasking is a myth, and good luck “getting things done.” The sad truth is that most professional speakers catch the disease of tacticitis. They believe they have to listen to the guru of the moment and belong to the coach-of-the-month club, while simultaneously working on their presentation skills, marketing, branding, website, video, book writing, sponsorships, social media, list building, article publishing, and networking. (And that’s before they try to regrow a full head of hair and lose
those unwanted pounds.)

Best Practice #7: Focus on business-building strategies.

The latest guru, offer, product, program, and technology that lands in your inbox has less to do with succeeding than does having a solid business model, speaking model, and revenue model—and they’re usually a lot more expensive. It’s far better to select two or three main strategies that can be used consistently. Writers should write. Techies should use technology. People persons should network.

The truth is, the “flavor of the month” rarely lasts a full year. In contrast, working harder on fewer things, and focusing exclusively on easy, effortless, and enjoyable business-building activities, is what will yield results—this month, next month, next year, and for the foreseeable future. The marketing geniuses at Nike have had it right for a long time: Just do it!

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Entrepreneurship Investing Marketing Negotiations Sales

Marketing Speaker: 21 Killer Sales Questions to Close Any Deal Faster

As a marketing speaker and marketing coach, my clients often ask me for advice on sales.

Naturally, this makes a ton of sense because the MORE and BETTER marketing you do, the FASTER and EASIER your sales process becomes.

BUT…

Nothing frustrates me more than when my clients DO a lot of the great marketing we work on together ONLY TO BLOW IT during the sales process!

So… don’t let this happen to YOU.

Let’s talk about what you need to close the deal: the steps you need to get from the first solid marketing conversation to the final signed contract.

Depending on your particular business, this could take anywhere from 10 days from first contact all the way up to a year or more. The sales process can be a long and winding road.

BUT there are several factors totally within your control that make it go faster and easier.

The most important one – by far – is asking smart questions early and often.

Think about it: delays in your sales process come from one main source…

Surprises.

You don’t want surprises on their end – and they don’t like surprises on your end.

Each surprise or question or unexpected element can add anywhere from a week to a month to your sales process – and you don’t want that.

Understanding this, you’ll want to ask them some key selling questions early on in your conversations and throughout at every major step and milestone.

Let’s cover them together now so you can begin using these 21 killer sales questions to close more deals – more easily and more often.

  1. If you were to decide this is a good idea, how do you buy things like this?
  2. How do you implement?
  3. What should I know about your timing? Signoffs?
  4. When do you budget for things like this?
  5. Do you think this deal is going to work?
  6. What’s missing or what should we add?
  7. Are you going to pitch it?
  8. What else do you need to see from me?
  9. Can I help you put together some numbers?
  10. Do you have some numbers I could include?
  11. Who else besides you will be making this decision?
  12. Are “they” going to like it?
  13. WHAT are they going to like?
  14. WHAT are they going to push back on?
  15. What else is going to be in our way?
  16. How would YOU respond to that?
  17. What answers do you need from me to so you’re prepared to answer their questions?
  18. How much detail do YOU want?
  19. How much detail will THEY want?
  20. Are there any surprises we should be prepared for?
  21. If this were just you and me, how excited would you be to move ahead on a scale of 0-10?

Hint: If they answer 9 or 10 – you’re good; If they answer 7 or 8 – ask, “What would need to change to get us closer to 10?” If they answer 6 or less, you have a problem. Go for no with “I don’t think we can make this work. Do you?”

Be relentless and follow up like a friendly bulldog.

Never let an active prospect get more than 10 days away from you.

Always show up in their world like a happy squeaky wheel: Circle back. Send more value. Ask more questions. Offer more engagement. Invite further dialogue. Come back with more ideas to genuinely help them.

More and better and faster sales will follow.

I guarantee it.

For more help with your marketing, grab your FREE copy of the Do It! Marketing Manifesto <<< Click here!

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In Negotiations With A Bully Watch Your Hidden Thoughts

“A hidden thought can lead your thinking into a dead-end. Avoid dead-end thinking. Be alert when engaging your mind in its thought process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

In negotiations with a bully, you have to watch your hidden thoughts, or those thoughts will have you thinking wrong.

“You have to beat them like they’ve done something really bad. Whip them until their insides are mashed. Can you do that? Will you do that?”

After reading the above, what are your initial thoughts? What images came to mind? Were they the images of a tough guy giving an edict to his underlings, that they dare not disobey? Or, did you consider that something other then the questions posed was occurring?

The thoughts you had about the opening statements, and the images that came to your mind, where determined by what you’ve experienced in life and the outcomes of those experiences. That means, to a degree, your thoughts began to formulate as soon as you read the first few words of the statement. Then, your mind jumped ahead of what you were reading to assume where the unread words would take you. That’s good, and it’s dangerous. The good part stems from the way you assimilate information. The bad part stems from not monitoring your expectations before jumping to judgment.

The words at the opening of this article were spoken by a chef to one of the cooks in an establishment that both were employed. The chef was referring to the correct way to make an omelet. Thus, he was talking about beating and whipping eggs to obtain a certain degree of consistency to make omelets more palatable.

When negotiating with a bully, you must be more cognizant of the way you think. Your thought process will be altered, in the prefrontal cortex area of your brain, the brain region in which complex behavior – decision making – and the moderation of social behavior occurs. This part of your brain will become more active due to the bully’s demeanor. You may experience a higher degree of emotions stemming from the perception of a threat, be it implicit or explicit. Such an emotional state may cause you to disengage from your normal thought process, which could lead you into that dead-end mentioned at the top of this article.

To combat your hidden thoughts, take into consideration what the bully is saying versus what he’s doing. If there’s a disconnect between his words and his actions, pay more attention to his actions (e.g. he says he’s going to run you into the ground in this negotiation while backing away from you and/or smiling nervously). Having this insight and using it to calculate your next action will allow you to think more clearly. That will also allow you to uncover any hidden thoughts that might create a sense of being overly fearful of a negative occurrence being projected on to you.

Negotiating with a bully is always a challenging proposition, but that proposition can be lessened by thinking about the way you think. Heighten your sense of awareness when negotiating with a bully, by being aware of where your thought processes are leading your thoughts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Accounting Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

The Value of Relationships – Long Versus Short

“Life’s value-add is perceptional. Manage your expectations to better assess the sources from which value can be attracted to your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are the relationships you’re in adding or subtracting value from your life? It’s a serious question to ponder and one to reassess daily.

Too many times we wake up one morning and realize that we’re no longer living the ideal life we seek. Depending on the severity of that realization, we go into a state of panic, brought on by thoughts of uneasiness. You know when things aren’t right in your life! It’s usually a terse feeling that emanates from your gut that delivers the message. Then, you may appear to be erratic to those who know you, which may cause them to reevaluate the value you’re bringing to their life. That can set off a vicious cycle fraught with angst and anxiety. The question then becomes, what’s a person to do to maintain some sense of equilibrium in their life? The answer lies in the relationships you have with others.

If you find yourself in toxic relationships, at work, at home, etc., change them! Seek to alter the dynamics of the relationships that drag you down emotionally and/or physically. It may be difficult to do but consider the cost of your sanity, your wellbeing. Weigh the cost of that against the difficulty that change might require.

When engaging with people, consider the value you add to their life and they to yours. Some people will be with you for life (long-term) others for a season (short-term). Accept this mentally, understand it and don’t allow it to become a conundrum when it’s time to move on. Don’t get wrapped up thinking that you have to stay with people due to the time you’ve known them; such thoughts will make you sentimental, which will jade your emotions and thought process about moving on. There are others that want to add value to your life, but you won’t find them holding on to those that don’t.

When you know you’re in short-term environments, treat those in it as though they may become long-term associates. Doing so may turn them into long-term allies, but don’t become fixated on the thought that they’ll be with you through thick and thin. Having such a mindset will allow moving on to be less jerky. If someone stays in your life longer than what had been anticipated, because they were adding value, be thankful. You’ve been blessed … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

With some people, a negotiation may be transactional, not intended to be of long-term value. That’s okay. Knowing the parameters of this type of relationship allows you to be better positioned to engage in the negotiation. After all, when you negotiate, you never know who will truly fit into a long-term relationship until you examine their values. Evaluate such closely and from different perspectives. What you eventually find may not be what you initially saw, and what you initially saw may be something that you initially didn’t expect.

The point is, keep your emotions grounded in all of your relationships. Accept people for the value they add to your life, and the value you add to theirs.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

 

 

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Watch Emotional Abuse When Negotiating With A Bully

“Emotional abuse only occurs when you allow the abuser to control you. To defeat him, control his abusive efforts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When negotiating with a bully, watch the emotional abuse you incur and mind your responses to it.

Bullies make some people experience an array of feelings in a negotiation. They do so for the pleasure of feeling superior to the other negotiator in an effort to exert their dominance. The emotional feelings they attempt to invoke can range from fear to hate to happiness. Yes, bullies can make you feel happy as the result of relinquishing the pressure they’ve applied to you. That’s another reason why you should monitor your emotions. You want to check them so you can display the proper response, based on your position in the negotiation at particular points. When it comes to watching your emotions take note of the following.

Fear:

Fear can invoke primal actions within you. When fearful, your normal thought process shuts down. Depending on the degree of fear you experience, your body prepares for a fight, flight, or freeze scenario. That deliberation can cause you to be thrown off your negotiation game (i.e. forget the negotiation strategies you’d planned to implement).

When you sense that you’re experiencing fear in a negotiation, note its cause. Consider to what degree its source will devastate you and your future position. The point is, diminish your thoughts of fear by contemplating how you can assuage it before continuing the negotiation, and recognize when it has you in its grips.

Anger:

Anger is another stealer of normal thoughts. It can be stoked by fear, which is also the reason you should control your perspective of fear and ager.

When angered, you can lose your perspective and rationalization. Thus, to negotiate from a mindset of anger will not serve you, it serves the other negotiator, instead.

Therefore, be aware of when the other negotiator is intentionally attempting to gouge you by instilling fear into the negotiation. Also, be mindful of what his attempts might look like before entering the negotiation. This can be accomplished by role-playing ahead of time. Just be mindful of elucidating your mind to how fear might be used against you, and be prepared to thwart such efforts.

Happiness:

Most people seek happiness as a constant state of mind. Our body seeks it too. Thus, when we’re not in a state of happiness, our mind will attempt to guide our actions back towards that state. It will also do ‘things’ to stay in that state, even if those ‘things’ are to our future detriment. It’s because of the latter that you should be hyper-vigilant when you’re in a state of happiness that’s been caused by a bully’s actions. You may not be off the hook. Instead, you may have been unknowingly placed deeper onto one.

To combat a bully’s effort to mentally manipulate you through the use of happiness, understand his motives for doing so. If his efforts don’t serve you, don’t appease him by succumbing to this tactic. Remain stern.

Anyone’s emotions can be strained when negotiating with a bully. Suffice it to say, you should stay on top of your emotions when negotiating with a bully more so than with other types of negotiators. Bullies can invoke extreme passion within you, which is why it’s so important to be mindful. If you’re aware of what can ‘set you off’, and not allow it to cloud your actions or judgment under such circumstances, you’ll be able to think clearer and negotiate better. That alone will give the bully cause for doubt, which means you’ll be turning his tactics against him. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Culture Management Marketing Negotiations

Commit to Clients and Customers

Consider the amount of money that goes into acquiring a new customer. Paying sales professionals, product development, marketing, advertising, media, the list is endless. Many of our business costs are associated to attract new customers for the sake of our business growth.

Imagine if companies were to spend as much attention on retaining a customer than they do try to earn a new one. When we show our clients, customers, patients, members and shoppers that we pay attention to their needs, we are not only likely to retain them, we will most certainly create advocates in them as well.

A brilliant book on elevating the customer experience is Never Lose a Customer Again by Joey Coleman, I loved this line in his book ‘it’s time to stop thinking B2B or B2C the future of business is H2H’ (human to human)

Follow these 5 strategies to give professional attention to your clients and show them the love they deserve.

1. Reach out. When was the last time you reached out and personally thanked your clients for being customers? Do you make it habit to routinely remind them of your joy in doing business with them? Consider deepening your relationship with frequent reach-outs. Find out how their business is doing and what you can do to make it better.

2. Examine the experience. Take the time to walk through the same business experience your current customers do. Call your phone number and listen to how you are addressed. Enter your workplace, office or shop as a customer and truly examine the impression being given. Evaluate your website and order your own products. Experience what your customers do when they are doing business with you. You may be surprised what you learn.

3. Know your numbers. Many companies measure their success through profitability, sales and growth. Perhaps consider adding a few extra numbers to the mix. Understand how many new sales come from repeat customers. Recognize your referral rates and most importantly know the churn your company suffers. Set meaningful goals – short and long-term – to retain more customers and improve your new sales from return clients.

4. Motivating Factors. Do you know what motivates your customer to buy from you? Maybe they buy because of price or convenience. Maybe it’s because of location or experience. Do your homework by asking your customers these questions. Know what motivates them to do business with you the first time, and continued business in the future will help you prioritize the areas of opportunity within your business.

5. Be a Partner. When was the last time your bank called you to ask how they can help you better invest your money to plan for a better future? Has your physician ever called to see how you were doing and offered you free literature on the topic you last discussed? This higher level of attention brings a personalized touch to any customer relationship. More so, it creates a partnership with you and your client that benefits their success and well-being as much as it does yours. It’s a win-win anyway you look at it. Partnering with your customer will create mutual trust and respect in the relationship.

Are you ready to pay more attention to your customers? Are you ready to heighten your professional relationships and invest more in their success? Pick up a copy of Joey Coleman’s How Not to Lose a Customer and read his strategies for investing time and energy in cultivating long-lasting client relationships.

Want to take your attention a step further? Pick up a copy of  Attention Pays. Learn how attention to employees will benefit your clients and ultimately your bottom line. Understand how evaluating your day-to-day activities can help you carve out time to focus on those who matter most – your customers.