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Category: Women In Business

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Frequency Are You On?

“The frequency you’re tuned to determines what you hear and how you act. Be attuned to the frequency that serves you best, when it’s the best that you need to serve you.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… We just can’t seem to #communicate! I don’t know what’s wrong with you.” Such were the sentiments of one person to the other.

Being on the same frequency as someone that you’re attempting to communicate with, is essential for the transmission of your thoughts and ideas; it’s also pertinent for the assembly of the other person’s thoughts and ideas. If you’re not on the same frequency, at best you’ll misconnect, at worse, you can destroy a relationship.

As my astute friend and thought leader David Dadian, CEO of #Powersolution states when referring to frequency, there’s a commonness to the words one uses when communicating with someone else. That commonness enhances the communications; that, in turn, decreases the incidents of #miscommunications. Thus, when people are on the same frequency, they’re communicating on the same level, they’re tuned to the same station, the same network. One is not at 97.5, while the other is at 107.2.

One way to determine that you’re on the same frequency is by the energy level you experience. A higher energy level of experience denotes a positive flow, while a low level can be the signal of miscommunications. A low level also tends to drain people of their energy.

The next time you’re engaged in what you determine to be a serious conversation, note the level of energy present. Even if you’re discussing something of sorrow or glee, they’ll be a degree of energy that’s locked into the exchange of thoughts and ideas. As long as you can relate that energy to being on the same frequency, you’ll know, at least, that you’re really communicating with the other party. If you observe a whimsical appearance, displays of confusion, or any sign that the person with whom you’re speaking is not getting your message, that will be an indication that there’s a frequency mismatch. That should also serve as a signal to reconnect; you’ve lost your WiFi.

When it comes to frequency, the better you and your partner are attuned to the same station, the greater the chance you’ll communicate at a higher level than otherwise would be the case … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation, the outcome rest on your ability to communicate effectively with your counterpart. Some people don’t communicate as efficiently, because they allow mitigating circumstances to sideline their efforts. That can come in the form of not liking someone appearance, ethnicity, gender, etc.

To enhance your negotiation efforts, be attentive to the distractions that might prevent you from being on the same frequency as your negotiation partner. When both of you reach that plateau, you’ll sense it. It’ll be like the two of you just click when exchanging offers and counteroffers. That’ll also be the time to pursue your negotiation objectives more fervently. That’s the power of being on the same frequency. You and the other negotiator will hear the same things, and you’ll be using common words to speak the same language.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Communication

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Make Powerful Heart Gestures In A Negotiation

“When it comes to matters of the heart, nothing will matter unless you control the emotions that creep from your heart.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… and he had the audacity to touch his heart with the back of his hand.”

Where body language is concerned in a negotiation, heart gestures are powerful moves because they’re supposed to connote sincerity. When done correctly, they suggest that the purveyor is being honest and forthright. Here’s the rub. Good negotiators are aware of the potency of this gesture. Some use it to feign sincerity when nothing could be further from the truth.

This article contrasts some of the differences between heart gestures in a negotiation. It also highlights how you can make powerful heart gesture moves when you’re negotiating. If you want to increase your negotiation abilities, take note.

  1. Suspect Heart Gestures:

a. Quick hand movement (hands move towards the heart and then quickly moves away – possibly denoting a quick feeling of emotion/sincerity) Note the point that action occurs to discern the degree of sincerity. If done excessively, an attempt to feign sincerity could be afoot.

b. Non-synchronized hand movement – (hand moves towards heart but not at the pace of speech – denotes lack of sincerity) Speech and body movement are synchronized. A lack of synchronization indicates a lack of forthrightness.

c. Backhanded movement – (more than likely a feigning attempt to nefariously engage you emotionally) This is an unnatural move. The more it’s done, the greater the probability that this trickster negotiator is using this move to solicit your emotions for his dastardly deeds.

  1. Powerful Heart Gestures:

a. Quick hand movement (hands move towards the heart and maintains position for several moments – used to convey surprise or hurt feelings) To add emphasis, lean towards the other negotiator when projecting this action.

b. Synchronized hand movement – (hand moves towards heart at the pace of speech – denotes sincerity) This movement, while capable of being feigned, is more likely a reflection of true emotions being displayed.

c. Hand(s) cupped near the heart – (Attempting to keep one’s emotions in check) Observe the length of time this gesture is maintained. To embolden this move, allow your eyes to become glazed or uncircumspective. This will add to the validity of this gesture.

When engaged in a negotiation, take note of when a negotiator touches his heart and the number of times that he does so. Use this to establish your baseline of how and when, and under what circumstances, you’ll employ this gesture. The purpose of doing so is to become mentally reflective of the other negotiator’s actions. Once you enact your gestures using the intervals that he displayed, your gestures will appear to be more genuine to him.

The heart has been romanticized as the stimuli of our emotional being. To convey your emotional sincerity, let your emotions flow freely when it serves you to do so. If you’re negotiating with someone of like-mindedness, your heart gestures will be heartfelt. They’ll be noted subliminally on the subconsciousness of the other negotiator, if not on a conscious level. That will tend to endear you to her, which will make the negotiation flow less obstructively … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HeartGestures #NegotiatingWithABully #Bullying #Bully #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #PowerNegotiation

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Overcoming Adversity

Have you ever felt ready throw up your hands in frustration, and give up? It’s so easy to be convinced that the odds are against you and feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. If this sounds familiar and need a new perspective on things, my client Pete’s story will help you persevere and encourage you to discover untapped strength you didn’t even know you had.

Pete’s story is a double-whammy of seemingly impossible situations:

First, the 28-year-old Kenyan designer was framed for murder, denied legal rights, wrongfully convicted and – because it was required by law in Kenya – sentenced to the death penalty. For 18 years he awaited the date when his name would be called, with no projected time frame ever given. The “tunnel” was as long and dark as it could possibly be, and he wondered how he could find the strength to get through each day.

But in the process, he was provided an opportunity. He was given the chance through a non-profit organization called the African Prisons Project to study law via a correspondence program – and I mean old fashioned paper correspondence; no internet in prison! – at a British university. He completed his degree and used that opportunity to fight and clear his name, ultimately emerging as a free man with a presidential pardon. Now that’s perseverance through adversity!

The second challenge – which pales in comparison but would make anyone else freeze in their tracks – happened in the fall of 2017. Pete was at the TED Global (not TEDx) conference in Tanzania, and was unexpectedly offered the opportunity to share his story on the main TED stage in a five-minute TED talk – with TWO DAYS NOTICE!

That’s when he reached out to me. From seven time zones away, Pete and I worked together to hone his message and craft his story, and ensure he could deliver it all with the impact that he wanted, all in two days. What was his message, you ask? No matter how dark things may seem, every day, take one step forward.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t have that kind of perseverance,” or “I could never do that,” I’m pretty sure Pete would have said the same thing about himself, until it happened to him.

Need some inspiration to help you get over the next hurdle? Listen to Pete.

No matter how big your challenges are, just remind yourself: if he can get through that, I can get through this. Dig deep: you are stronger and more resilient than you think.

********

Are you planning to give an important talk or presentation, and want some help to ensure that your message lands correctly and your delivery seals the deal? Email laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me, personally.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Protect Your Schedule, Time and Attention

Are you constantly competing with others over your schedule? Do you feel inundated by a barrage of interruptions and distractions each day that leaves you feeling as if you worked like a crazy person all day and accomplished nothing as a result?

In my new book, Attention Pays, I outline strategies for busy professionals to protect their time and attention from being fritted away by anyone and anything asking for it.

Here are seven strategies you can being implementing today to take control of your schedule and permit you the time necessary to leverage your attention to accomplish more each day.

Create a personal daily strategic 15-minute appointment – Take this time to determine your top three non-negotiable activities you must complete before you sleep tonight. Several years ago, I challenged an executive leadership team at Comcast to invest 15 minutes of their attention every day in a strategic appointment. They say awesome results, become the highest performing team in their region. Their shared increased focus allowed them to prioritize completion of strategic objectives and invest in their people’s development instead of being distracted by everyday busyness.

Schedule your morning routine – We outlined this routine in Chapter 3 of my new book, Attention Pays. It’s critical that you get this on your calendar so that phone calls or meetings don’t encroach on this important time.

Assign certain activities to specific days of the week – This system has you group regular activities together to maximize productivity and minimize distractions. Will it work seamlessly with every week in the same way? no, but with a system, your team or assistant can schedule meetings on designated days. We worked with a financial services executive to design her ideal week. here is what hers looked like. Yours, of course, will be different:

  • Monday: Meet with team members, senior leadership, and her boss in the office.
  • Tuesday to Thursday: Industry and vendor networking events, client appointments, presentation preparation, and travel. These days were spent outside the office and included a work-from-home day.
  • Friday: As she enjoyed being home for weekends, any meetings were local and never scheduled to finish later than 5pm. If no meetings were scheduled, she focused on strategizing for the upcoming week and catching up on administrative work.

Schedule no talk days – My best friend manages multiple companies, raises my two beautiful God-daughters, volunteers in her community, and enjoys working with her clients. She discovered that on days she doesn’t talk to anyone, she’s massively productive. So, she started scheduling no-talk days – days with no appointments, which are dedicated to strategy and achieving goals. As an extrovert, I found this strategy especially helpful. Could you do this once a quarter to make more progress toward your bigger goals?

Schedule service days – I allocate one day a month on my calendar for pro bono assistance to people in my industry who need help. could you add a service day to your calendar?

Time block – Schedule space in your calendar for strategy, email review, meetings, social media engagement, and personal time.

Create visual recognition systems – Use color-coding to simplify your life. My calendar uses a variety of colors to show speaking, travel, consulting, personal appointments, and administration and business development.

Block out personal time in advance and honor the appointment with yourself as you would a client or employee.

Pick up a copy of Attention Pays to learn more about creating an extraordinary life by ‘unplugging’ from the constant barrage of disruptions and ‘plugging in’ to the tools, strategies, and mindsets that allows you to harness your attention to reach your highest potential.

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Focus Outward Rather Than Inward … 4 Steps to Adapting to Your Listeners Why

Watch Focus Outward Rather Than Inward … 4 Steps to Adapting to Your Listeners Why

Another strong distinction between a good and influence communicator is your ability to adapt on the fly without ever skipping a beat.

An influential communicator has the ability to pay close attention to what is happening between them and their listener and adapt to that person’s style, expectations and their WHY.

Avoid getting caught up in your own dialogue missing the opportunity to adapt to your listener’s WHY.  Learn the 4 immediate steps you can Take Action on Today!

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How In-Depth Is Your Communication Planning?

“To communicate more effectively, do so based on the mindset of the recipient.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Before communicating with someone, what factors do you consider? Too much information, or information not delivered in the manner expected, can go unconsumed. Too little information can meet the same fate; it can also lead the receiver to seek more insight. So, what should you do to enhance your communication efforts?

Determining the degree of information to bestow upon anyone is guided by many factors. Consider the following factors to enhance your communications.

1. Environment

Always consider your communication environment. One that’s too loud or too quiet might incite unintended distractions, which may impact the reception of your message. Depending on the message and your anticipated impact, assess the best environment to deliver it, based on the person to whom you’re delivering the message.

2. Character/Trust

Knowing the character of the person with whom you’re conversing will determine the depth of information you’ll be willing to share. If trust is not a factor, you’ll be more likely to disclose more insights.

If you know you’ll be in a future situation with someone whose trust has not been vetted, or someone whose trust you question, before giving them the ‘inside story’, give them tidbits of information and see what they do with it. You can accomplish this with multiple people by giving each a slightly different version of the same information, stated as a secret that they shouldn’t share; then, see what version comes back to you through other sources. The originator’s signature will be embedded in the version that comes back. Therein will lie an assessing barometer that indicates the degree of trust you can associate with that person.

3. Mood

A person’s mood can change at any moment. That change influences their perception of information.

To enhance your communications, deliver messages based on the mood of the recipient and how your message ties into that mood. If need be, alter their mood before making your delivery.

As an example, if you have to deliver bad news, avoid times when the receiver is in a depressed state. Do this, unless you’re offering insights that you want him to address that’ll enhance his state of mind. To the degree you control the delivery of information, you control the state of mind you’ll put someone into.

4. Objective

When it comes to parsing information, always consider your objective and outcome sought before doing so. If the mood, character of the person, or environment is not right for the delivery, abstain from doing so. Rushing forward at inopportune times can severely detract from the message and your objective of delivering it. In some cases, you may want to give a snippet of information as a ‘coming attraction’. That’s one way to set the stage for what’s to follow.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, the factors that determine the impact of an offer/counteroffer are determined by the factors mentioned above. If the mood is one of hostility, there may not be the degree of acceptance to an offer then if the mood was more upbeat and open. If there’s trust in the character of the person you’re engaged with, you’ll extend more trust when such is the pivotal point upon which a negotiation may hinge.

In order to engage in more successful negotiations, you should tend to the factors above. They’ll enhance your negotiation efforts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Communication

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Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Negotiations Skills Women In Business

Do You Respond or React?

A little while ago, a German PhD student and I were discussing the dynamics of working in international or multicultural settings, when he asked me, “What’s the one piece of advice you would give to someone who was going to work in [that kind of environment]?”

It was a powerful question, since it’s hard to distill the 1,001 ideas that swirled through my head down to one single line item.

Finally, I said, “No matter what happens, don’t react.”

He looked at me, surprised. “So, if someone says or does something that you don’t like, you should just do nothing?”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” I replied. “You can respond; just don’t react.”

“What’s the difference?” he asked.

I went on to explain that a reaction is an instinctive reflex, often influenced by your “fight or flight” tendencies, whereas a response is a conscious decision.

A critical skill that separates bosses from true leaders is the ability to catch yourself when the reflex to react kicks in, and hit the pause button. Then assess the situation from what I like to call a “split-brain perspective” before deciding your course of action. Depending on the situation and your natural tendencies, you may be able to do this quickly, or you may need to take some time to think it through, and return to continue the discussion an hour or a day later.

Either way, the process requires three equally important steps.

Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings

The first step is on the “emotional side” of your brain – the one whose reaction is to be annoyed, offended or off-put by what the other person said or did. Start by identifying what you’re feeling and why. For example, you can say to yourself, “Whenever he asks for something, it always sounds like a command. It sounds like he thinks he’s my boss, and it really gets under my skin.”

Especially in intercultural encounters (but not unusual in any context), it’s common to perceive others as being rude or otherwise feel like their comments are insensitive or inappropriate. Here’s the thing: it is okay to feel this way. You don’t have to deny your feelings; just don’t let them drive you or your reaction. Acknowledge them, and then go to step-two.

Step 2: Seek alternative explanations

This is when the “logical side” of your brain needs to take over, giving the person the benefit of the doubt that there is a perfectly reasonable alternative explanation for what they did or said, and that their intention was not to offend you. Your job is to discover their real reason and intent.

Now, you can remind yourself, “He probably doesn’t realize how that came across. Let’s find out what he meant and go from there.”

You never know what might be under the surface. For example, in Russian, it is perfectly professional to say “do this now,” whereas in English it sounds extremely demanding, “bossy” and abrasive. The problem is that even though the person may be “fluent” in English, they could still be thinking in Russian and translating word for word into English, not realizing that while their statement is technically, grammatically correct, it is contextually inappropriate.

On the flip side, while it’s considered appropriate in English to say, “Can you get X to me by the end of the day? I can’t do my part until I have X from you and the deadline is tomorrow,” in Russian, such a statement sounds timid and wishy-washy. As a result, it might not have occurred to the person to frame it this way, subconsciously assuming it would be inappropriate.

Once you’ve had that quick check-in with yourself to regroup, move on to step-three.

Step 3: Respond thoughtfully

This is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak. Considering everything from steps one and two, you need to formulate your response to the person in a way that isn’t defensive (or offensive, for that matter), and shows that you want to reach a mutual understanding.

Whether you address the issue immediately or at a later time, perhaps when you can have the conversation in private, start by calmly and objectively identifying the comment/behavior. E.g., “I just want to clarify what’s probably a misunderstanding. Earlier, you told me to (XYZ), and the other day you said (ABC). I’m happy to help, but when you say it like that, it feels like you’re giving me orders. I don’t think you did it intentionally, so I wanted to ask you to clarify what you meant.”

At that point the person will have the chance to share their perspective and even apologize if necessary. They might be surprised or embarrassed, and this approach helps them to set the record straight, turning the exchange into a learning experience for both of you. In the end, you get clarity, strengthen your relationship, and allow them to rebuild their reputation with you and others moving forward.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Being High From Happiness

 “Happiness can be elusive. When you need happiness the most and you can’t find it within yourself, make someone else happy. It’ll find its way back to you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you happy when you’re high? Depending on your interpretation of ‘high’, that may or may not have the same connotation to you as others.

Being high can stem from a myriad of sources. It can stem from the consumption of alcohol, tobacco, or illicit drugs. It can also stem from a more natural source.

If you seek a natural high, one that’s unencumbered by a false sense of spirited motivation, you can experience the true sense of happiness. The challenge becomes where to find, corral and keep that sense of happiness so you can call on it when needed.

No one can be on a natural high all of the time. But, if you evoke it without false insemination, you are on your way to unlocking one of the keys to a successful life; that key is happiness.

Here’s the point. One day none of what you think is important will be important. None of the challenges you have will be important either. That day will occur when you’re no longer able to influence your thoughts or those of others. That’s the day that you will have transitioned from this life into another realm of being. So, make yourself as happy as you can, while you can. And, when you can’t make yourself happy, make someone else happy. That act will come back to you in the form of happiness … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When you negotiate, be extremely protective of your mind (i.e. the way you think and feel) and your thought process. If you’re able to contemplate happiness in the face of adversity, happiness may not appear to be that daunting. That will allow you a freer thought process, one that’s not encumbered by dread.

It’s the thoughts fueled by negativity that causes our negotiation efforts to become derailed at times. The thought of being happy can keep your thoughts on the right track. It may sound quirky but, try it. Act happy when experiencing dread during a negotiation. At a minimum, it will cause the other negotiator to wonder what’s occurring. That may give you the time needed to assemble a more robust rebuttal.

Think happy thoughts, be happy. You really don’t have anything to lose and you might discover something that’s unique about your negotiation abilities than you previously realized.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Happiness

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations News and Politics Sales Women In Business

How To Best Combat Misinformation and Disinformation in Negotiations

“Misinformation can be disinformation. Know the difference between the two to better address the inherent intent of its dispenser.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Someone once said, “All is fair in love, war, and #negotiations.” If that’s true #misinformation and #disinformation are armigers that some negotiators use as weapons of mass destruction.

In order to best combat misinformation and disinformation in negotiations, you must know the difference between the two before you can address either. The question is, to what degree are you prepared to deal with this type of ploy?

Misinformation can be daunting when deciphering the truth. Coupled with disinformation, the truth can become darn near undetectable. Observe the following to make the distinction less elusive.

1. Misinformation Versus Disinformation

Understand that there’s a difference between misinformation and disinformation. While the distinction between the two may have similar appearances, their usage is what really sets them apart.

Misinformation is erroneous information delivered to intentionally or unintentionally alter your thought process. It can also be used as a way to insulate one’s self (e.g. I didn’t mean to misquote that information). Later in the negotiation, that tactic can turn into a trap that detracts from the user’s credibility, if used too frequently.

Disinformation is the intentional attempt to spread false information for the purpose of deceiving you. That makes its usage more dangerous in a negotiation. It also speaks to the character of its user. If you know the user’s intent to persuade you, you’ll have insight into which of these modalities he may use to accomplish his objectives.

2. Know Character of Negotiator

When you know someone’s character, you can more accurately assess and determine their intent. Thus, knowing a negotiator would not venture into the territory of disinformation could lead you to be more understanding if he misquotes information. On the other hand, if you know you’re dealing with a devious individual, one that doesn’t have a relationship with the truth, you’d be wise not to grant him forgiveness when he misquotes information. In such a case, you may have just caught him in a lie that he’s aware of. Let him stew in this dilemma and assess what he does. Doing so will also give you great insight into the possibility of the information being disinformation or misinformation. You can further address the type of information that’s being passed to you by referring to a higher authority that refutes what’s been delivered. You can do this, even if the authority and/or information you cite is not real. It’s called bluffing.

3. Identify Timing and Intent

After addressing steps 1 and 2, assess the intent of the information that you’ve been given. Do so with the thought of what impact it’s intended to have on you, what actions are you to engage in as the result of the information. Also, consider the timing of its deliverance. If you assess that it’s intended to evoke a particular action or thought, assess what the overall intent might be and where such actions might lead. If you sense that something’s not right, don’t continue. Instead, question what you should be paying more attention to.

While misinformation and disinformation may offer challenges during a negotiation, being mindful of how to combat them can lessen their potency. Once you adopt a heightened mindset when dealing with them, your negotiation efforts won’t be fraught with the degree of dismay that otherwise might exist. Thus, by adopting these strategies when dealing with information, you’ll have a better perspective about the information you deal with … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Bullying #Bully #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Women In Business

The Best Way To Be a Good Bully Negotiator

“All forms of bullying are not bad. A good bully that defeats a bad bully is good.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you think of bullying in a negotiation, what comes to mind? Do you think of one person using abusive language spewing contempt, or an abundant display of irreverent condescension on behalf of both parties towards the other? In either case or if you didn’t think of either case, you’re right. Bullying in life and in negotiations is open to interpretation. That being the case, there’s a scenario for the role of a good bully in every negotiation. If projected right, the role of a good bully may be laced in the disguise of a savior.

Here’s how you can combat a bad bully by portraying the part of a good bully.

1. The first thing you need to appraise is to what degree the opposing negotiator will display belligerence or other forms of bullying. That’s essential because that will determine how you’ll position yourself.

2. Assess the possible bullying tactics the other negotiator might attempt to use on you (i.e. intimidation, humiliation, other). The better you can accurately assess the bullying tactics he’ll use the better you can prepare to combat them.

3. Determine which ploy, or set of tactics you’ll employ to contest the bully’s bullying efforts against you. They can be any combination of the following ruses.

4. Passive aggressiveness – I recall a time when I was on a plane and asked the flight attendant for another snack. She looked menacingly at me with a smile on her face, leaned closer, and said, no. She quickly turned and walked away. I was left befuddled, wondering what had just occurred.

When dealing with a bully, you can be passively aggressive by portraying the part of a hard-nosed negotiator while presenting a pleasant demeanor. That will most likely cause the other negotiator to wonder what he’s dealing with. In that time, you can further assess the value this subterfuge is having on him. Continue using it and/or mixing it with the following as long as it has value.

5. Display defiance and compassion – Bullies test your resolve to discover exactly what you’ll allow them to do to you. If during such travails you display defiance and compassion you’ll cause them consternation. They’ll be miffed about how to deal with you. That should make them revert to their prominent form of domination. Once they’ve shown you that, border your actions between an affray and serenity. Let such match his demeanor.

6. Be manic (i.e. I must be off my meds) – Have you ever noticed how most sane people will tend to veer away from someone that acts in a non-rational manner? That’s because someone that’s manic is unpredictable. Unpredictability leads to unsureness and that leads to confusion. If a bad bully doesn’t know what to do in a negotiation, he’ll begin to drop his bullying ways and start to acquiesce to your demands. In part, he may do so because he just wants to conclude the negotiation as quickly as possible and get away from you.

7. Switch positions and character constantly – To protract and enhance the manic ploy, switch your negotiation position and character throughout the negotiation. Abide by one thing and then change it when such suits you. It will add to the allure of the perception that “you’re not all there”, which will further serve to confound your opponent.

The role of a good bully truly has a part in any negotiation. While some may call it by another name, know that it’s a role you can partake in to win more negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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