C-Suite Network™

Menu
Search
Close this search box.

Category: Personal Development

Categories
Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development

We’re Not That Far Apart

Recently I was on a sales trip with Scott Good, my partner in one of my businesses. We had a lot of windshield time so as good friends and business partners often do, we got into a few terrific discussions. Since we are in business together, of course we talked about business. And yes, the touchy subjects of politics and religion were also covered. After several hours in the car together, Scott says to me “you know we really aren’t that far apart.” Now Scott is a really, smart guy (would I have a dumb guy as a partner?), but this was really, profound.

I continued to think about that statement over the next few days.

When we are applying for and negotiating for a new job at a new company, what does the company want? The company wants to utilize all your talents, so the company can thrive. Don’t you want the same thing? Don’t you want to apply all your skills and experience, so you AND the company thrive?  So, assuming you are the right fit, what’s keeping you from agreeing to the opportunity? A few bucks in the salary? Another day of vacation? If you and the employer truly communicate, you’ll find “you know we really aren’t that far apart” and you’ll make a deal that makes everyone happy.

When you are negotiating with a potential buyer for your product or service, don’t you generally set down some parameters of what the buyer can expect in terms of performance of the product or service? Of course, you do. Then you get to the final negotiations and both parties find ONE thing they want to take a position on and everyone forgets all the work that went into the discussion up to that point. Let’s all calm down and review each other’s position. Let’s talk honestly and openly of what we each want from the transaction. You will often be saying after that discussion, “you know we really aren’t that far apart”.

Some discussions are traditionally adversarial. Union / company relationships, political discussions, religious discussions, generational divides. How and why did we become so entrenched in our positions that we don’t listen to the other side of the issue? It does not have to be this way. Calm down, be open to learn something new, try to understand the other viewpoint. If we all just take 30 seconds to breath and think, we can most likely smooth out some of our differences, enough to say, “you know we really aren’t that far apart”.

Categories
Marketing Personal Development

The Right Way to Mix Professional and Personal When You Network

Humans like putting things in categories.  Whether it is movies, music, or restaurants, it’s comfortable for us to mentally parse things into different groups. It’s one of the traits that allows us to manage a world of staggering complexity.

We also like to do it with our relationships.  We put people into relationship buckets: he’s my work colleague, she’s my friend, he’s just an acquaintance, etc.  But it’s not always as clear cut as we would like it to be.  What about a long-term client who has become a friend or a friend who you hired to work for you?

This has only been exacerbated by the advent of social networking platforms like Facebook and LinkedIn. Sure, we like to think that we can keep friends on one and business contacts on the other, but the lines get very blurry very quickly.

Doing Business with Friends

Really, social media hasn’t caused this blurring, it was always there.  It’s just made it much more obvious.

Many of us have created huge, integrated networks online.  Think of your collection of Facebook friends and Twitter followers.  It would be hard to divide these into different categories of personal, business contact, family, work friend, random person I met at a party, etc.

These integrated networks allow for a lot of cross-pollination, and that can be powerful.  In his seminal paper on network dynamics, The Strength of Weak Ties, sociologist Mark Grannovetter found that most value came from the weak connections that people had.  The impact of a relationship didn’t derive from its strength. Rather, it came from the access to new information it created.

In other words, it didn’t matter that you were best friends with everyone, what did matter is that you had a lot of connections with ties to disparate worlds.  These bridges become the conduits for new opportunities.

And many of these weak connections are in areas that aren’t traditionally business-related.  They could be friendships from your neighborhood, a civic or volunteer organization, or the religious group you belong to.  There will be a lot of overlap between your professional and personal worlds, both offline and online, and if you are savvy you can find opportunities in both.

Develop Awareness Online and Outside of the Office

So don’t shy away from having a business conversation with a friend, or feel you can’t talk about music or film with a business colleague.  Just ensure that the conversation is appropriate for the context.

My brother-in-law runs a successful real-estate firm, and I’ve done work with him and his team.  But that doesn’t mean that I walk into his office and start talking about the craziness of Thanksgiving dinner with the family.  Our relationship stays the same, but the topics of conversation vary based on where we are and what we’re doing.

By connecting your professional and personal spheres, it’s critical to ensure that your actions and behaviors work in a variety of contexts.  This is why you hear the warnings to be careful of what you post on social media sites.  You never know who is going to see a photo you post, and more importantly, you don’t know how they are going to interpret it.

When a potential employer, client, or partner can access a record of your behaviors with the click of a button, you need to ensure that your behavior won’t be held against you.  It’s the 21st century extension of the old saying that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion in polite company.  Whether you are online, at the office, or a backyard BBQ, personal/professional networks require you to be aware of how your actions and words are perceived by a wide cross-section of people.

Be the Best You

Be aware that you have to consistently act your best.  When you are straddling different worlds, you want to be the “you” that fits into any context.  But creating that mindfulness, that awareness of the impact your words and actions will have, is the foundation of a wide and varied network.  And that breadth is the key to leveraging it to move the needle on your career.

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Three High-Performance Listening Skills Great Leaders Embrace

It was a Friday evening and I was out with a small group of my friends at a Happy Hour. We were all seated around a table sharing stories over drinks and appetizers. Throughout most of the evening, one of the guys in our party was on his cellphone working a real-estate deal and talking to one of his team members who was sitting across the table. Andrew was so involved in his business that he didn’t even lift his head up from the phone but would randomly interject a word in here and there, claiming he was totally present and listening.  Of course until he realized that wasn’t 100% true when his wife had to call his name a couple of times to get his attention for a group picture…

How often have you found yourself in a similar situation?

You were engaged in a conversation and the technology had become a distraction during the conversation especially when attempting to establish rapport with another human being.

“Listening is fundamental in building rapport with others.  We all have bad habits that can cause us to break rapport and lose the connection with the other person.”  (From Power Conversations Tip #3 I know You Hear Me)

Let’s look at three common habits that cause us to break rapport and find out what to do instead in order to fix them and become more powerful communicators

  • Interrupting the speaker
  • Making up your mind before all the info is presented
  • Showing Impatience when a person speaks at length

Interrupting the speaker

How many times have you found yourself in a conversation where you, or someone else really, really needed to say something right then, right there and it just couldn’t wait until the speaker was done? Most of us were brought up knowing that it’s important to let others finish their thoughts.                   An interruption is saying “what I have to say is more important than what you have to say.” Ultimately saying “I’m more important than you”.  I would venture to say you probably don’t really think that.

If you have something that you have to say and think you might forget, write it down or politely ask the other person to have them remind you to bring up the topic once they are done speaking.  If you or someone you know happens to be a chronic interrupter, have them busy themselves by doing something else instead in order to break the habit.
I once had a client in a training that was a chronic interrupter. Since she was very high energy like a cheerleader, she decided to drink water every time she felt the need to interrupt. Needless to say while she reported to me that the solution worked, she had become very well hydrated…

Making up your mind before all the info is presented

Somewhere along the line you tuned out the speaker and dove into your own thoughts. That’s what we call an internal distraction.  When that happens, you risk missing out on important information and only hearing parts of a discussion which could lead you down the path of wrong conclusions and assumptions. As a result you could end up in conflict and that does not an example of good leadership.

Instead, be sure to remain present the entire time, focus on the speaker, and ask questions to clarify any points that you are unsure about. Whether you are a quick thinker or a slow processor remain engaged, showing the speaker that they are being heard and valued.

Showing Impatience when a person speaks at length

Let’s face it, different people communicate differently.  While some are story tellers who share every little detail, others might be direct, factual and brief.  Often people who are high-performers want the big idea and quick facts and will show impatience when the speaker goes on and on. That might entail looking at your watch, gesturing someone to hurry with hand motions or even at time flat out saying something like “get to the point”.  Those are all rapport breakers that are offensive to the speaker, yet at times we truly want someone to get to the point. How do we convey that without being rude?

Back when I was in private practice and had to take a medical history on all new patients, I would come across the long story tellers. It was common with those who experienced traumatic injuries like a fall or a car accident and were more of the emotional type. While it was important as a doctor to have empathy and understand their emotional and physical distress, all I needed in order to treat them properly were the facts of the accident like speed, directions, and point of impact.

My solution and was to find the right opening, state their name, repeat something they had said and check for accuracy with a yes/no question. I then moved to the next question. Ex. “Harvey, I want to make sure that I got this correctly, you were making a left at the light and a car came from across the intersection and hit your back passenger side? Is that correct? OK. What happened next?”

By using that technique not only will you able to manage the pace of the conversation but you will be actively engaged in listening to the details making the speaker feel heard and valued, which is the goal.

As an active listener you will use different skills to show interest in the speaker and build rapport with them. As a High-Performer leader you will spend more of your time engaged in Active listening.

While Andrew is clearly a hard working individual he could benefit from improved High-Performance Communication skills, specifically Active Listening to make him an even more powerful leader.
What about you??  Are you ready to uplevel your game and improve your communication skills?

Categories
Best Practices Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Managing Reverse Culture Shock

We’re all familiar with the principle of “culture shock,” reflecting the surprises and challenges of living and working abroad. Comparatively, you’d think it would be easy to move back home after the assignment is complete. Surprisingly, however, readjusting to the home culture and office is often harder than going abroad in the first place, a phenomenon known as “reverse culture shock,” or “reentry adjustment.” I certainly encountered this personally upon returning to the US after spending a couple of years in Japan. Here are some reasons why, and strategies to help ease that transition so that, contrary to the popular expression, you can go home again.

First, whether you’re abroad for a year or a decade, the fact is that, whether or not you realize it, you have changed as a result of your experiences, and your home (and home office) environment has evolved over time as well… but not on the same trajectory. Yet you will both expect the other to be the same as when you left at minimum, or even subconsciously expect them to have changed in the same way that you did – whether or not you recognize exactly how.

Plus, once you’ve adapted to the new language and cultural expectations, there’s a good chance that a lot of those new behaviors and expectations will have become second nature, often because you have learned to appreciate the principles that those behaviors reflect. For me, I was always a very direct speaker, but learned to appreciate and comfortably use the comparatively subtle approach in Japanese, which is the Japanese norm, based on promoting respect and harmony. Unfortunately, when using similar strategies in English back home, I sounded wishy-washy to my American peers.

When you return to your home office, others may respond to these new habits with resistance and skepticism. If you start to recognize this pattern, have a heartfelt conversation with your team, explaining what’s behind the new behaviors. Don’t go into tons of detail, and don’t present it in a way that seems like you’re bragging about your experience abroad. Smile, and let them know that you understand their reaction because it’s exactly how you reacted when you first encountered those patterns when you first arrived overseas. Depending on what the change is, you may just need some time shift back to the original style. Alternatively, once they understand the change, they may decide they appreciate the rationale for it and want to adopt it too.

Another key cause of reentry adjustment is that you expect to be surprised in one way or another when you go to a foreign country, but not when you return home. You know that the new language, culture, and norms abroad – from foods and table manners to what it means to show respect – will probably differ unpredictably from what you’re used to, for better or worse. But you also assume that it should be easy to return home because – in theory – you already know all the rules of the game.

On the contrary, this isn’t always the case. When I went to live and work in Japan, and studied the language and culture, I was very explicitly instructed how to do everything from gift exchange rituals to protocols for conducting meetings. I learned the rules consciously. Then when I moved back to the US, I committed a variety of little faux pas because I realized I didn’t know how to shift back! So many of my original American practices had been learned unconsciously; I had done things a certain way because it’s the way everyone did them, so I was just going with the flow, as it were. I never thought about why I used certain English words, American gestures, or routines. Without being equally able to articulate the “rules,” there was occasionally an awkward feeling of uncertainty.

Part of the solution, simply put, is to expect similar surprises – likely on mundane little things – upon completing an extended stay overseas. More importantly, when they happen, be patient and forgiving with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and when you do, remind yourself that this is normal. If necessary, apologize, but again, share the cause: you were simply on “auto pilot” from living abroad. The best remedy is to have a sense of humor about it and laugh at yourself, which is also an invitation to others to laugh with you. This builds mutual empathy, educates others, and promotes support to help you make the rest of the transition to your new life in the old country.

********

Are you or is someone you know struggling with reverse culture shock? Email me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally.

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

The Enemy of Your Employee Attention

There is a battle brewing in your office over your employees’ attention. The enemy – distraction.

Our workplaces are a littered land mind of distractions. It’s a wonder anyone can survive. Between open concept offices to technological interruptions, employees fight for their ability to pay attention, avoid distractions and say ‘no’ to demands for their attention. They feel overwhelmed, overstressed and overtired, spending countless energy being busy (we know that busy isn’t necessarily productive).

The stress distractions create in the workplace has long term consequences to the individual’s productivity and health as well as the company’s bottom line.

So how do wage war on workplace distraction?

Consider the following aspects and determine where distractions can be destroyed – once and for all.

1. Office Structure: If you’ve hopped on the bandwagon of open-office workspaces. It’s time to consider a change. If that’s not feasible, allow employees to improvise by occasionally working from home or remote locations that will permit them quiet time to focus. Still not an option? Consider permitting noise-canceling headphones for staff in high traffic areas.

2. Do Not Disturb: Utilize apps and technology to defeat technology disruptions. See my previous post for ideas to use on your own devices.

3. Prioritize: Leaders and employees should frequently review department and business priorities. Each time someone requests of your time to accomplish their needs, simply use those priorities as a filter to determine whether the extra work is necessary or can wait for another time.

4. Closed-Door Policy: Even if you don’t actually have a door, schedule time on your calendar each day to accomplish tasks and projects. Turn off your email and phone. Hang a sign on your door telling others to “Come back later – brilliance is brewing.”

5. Clear the Clutter: Use the last 15 minutes of each workweek to tidy up, clear the clutter and prepare for a successful week. A clear space makes a clear mind and prevents distractions throughout the week.

6. Promote Breaks: Encourage employees to take periodic breaks from their work. Discourage them from eating at their desks as well. Promote taking time off for vacation, rest and recovery.

7. Maximize Your Best Time of Day: Everyone has a time of day they focus and concentrate best. Consider loading your toughest, most creative-thinking tasks during that time frame. Mine is early day, so I don’t schedule meetings during that time. When is yours?

8. 80/20 Rule: Stop trying to be perfect. Our attention is challenged, stress is increased and anxiety skyrockets when we are aiming for perfection. Let it go!

Need more ideas to maximize your focus and defeat workplace distractions? Check out my other blogs at neenjames.com/blog or contact us here. We can help you make the most of each workday by paying attention to what matters most.

Categories
Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

It’s Your Attitude – Take Control

Attitude is defined as a mental position about a fact or situation.  The most important aspect of attitude is to know it is a perception you choose.

Viktor Frankl wrote a book titled, A Man’s Search for Meaning.  In this small but powerful manuscript he shares how he survived a concentration camp by understanding his attitude was the one aspect of his life he could control. Attitude is an important piece of your life too.  Many do not even think about. However, not thinking about it creates the inability to control it. When you realize the control you have over your attitude, you create a crucial difference in how you cope with everything that happens. Your destiny can change.

Self-awareness is key in the process of learning.  The next time you have the opportunity to recognize an experience in your day that is different than what you had planned, be aware of how you react. You can only change or celebrate what you notice. If you are annoyed, disappointed or frustrated, take 10 seconds to find an alternative way to respond to the situation. Finally, think about what you have learned.  This ties in with accountability, as the choice is up to each individual.  So why is it important in the workplace?  Imagine your work environment if each individual decided to see an opportunity where they would normally see an annoyance. What would happen if you and your workforce chose to have a different perspective?  Good attitudes raise the bar.  They create less tension and stress, which leads to better health, higher productivity and astute creativity.  Could your company use more of that?

The good news is, better attitudes can be taught to those who want it.  Sadly, some people have not had the experience of what it is like to work or live in a positive environment.  The benefits have to be clearly communicated for them to take advantage of this new perspective and responsibility.  It can be done.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

—Viktor Frankl

Excerpt from Blueprint for Employee Engagement – 37 Essential Elements to Influence, Innovate & Inspire.

Julie Ann Sullivan has the cure for retaining good talent and increasing productivity. Want a free copy of her book? Talk to Julie Ann @724-942-0486.  Julie Ann hosts the Mere Mortals Unite and Businesses that Care podcasts on C-Suite Radio .  For more information go to http://julieannsullivan.com/

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

6 Ways Your Ego Ruins Your Leadership: 6 Ways to Fix It

Whether you are a leader, a senior-level executive, the newest intern at the firm, or if you’re breathing, chances are, you are self-oriented. If you think you’re not self-oriented, think about the last time you saw a picture that was taken of you with a group of friends  – whose face did you look for first? Yup. Thought so. Me too.

Many leaders would prefer to think that they have their ego in check. The reality is that as a human being you are focused on yourself.

A certain degree of ego is natural. Although when it comes to leadership, it is crucial that you keep your ego in check. I’m referring to ego here as an arrogance or cockiness that will get in the way of real growth or sustained success. A jacked up ego is a collaboration killer. Oh, and you can kiss creativity buh-bye.

The most successful leaders strike a balance of confidence and humility. Trying to tell someone that they need to let the air out of their ego balloon is about as easy as taking the King Cake away from a 5-year old (call me if you need details about this delicacy). Those people usually need to experience their own “comeuppance.” In other words, they need to experience some spectacular crash and burn. The more embarrassing, the more likely they are to get the message.

Rather than having to go through such a humiliating experience, and if you’re not sure where you rate on the ego scale, read the following indicators and honestly assess whether they describe you.

6 Ego Indicators

  1. You get the last word.
  2. You want to win and you look at most interactions as a competition.
  3. You are the team problem solver and everyone comes to you to fix their work-related dilemmas.
  4. Whatever you say goes.
  5. You get involved with every issue – large and small.
  6. You feel like you have learned all that you need to know.

If you are humble and self-aware enough to recognize that some of these statements describe you, here are some ways you can rein in your ego and keep it in check.

6 Ways to Rein in Your Ego

1. Back off.

You are in a leadership position because you have skills, talents, abilities that are needed and that no one else brings to the team. Get out of the way and let your employee do his job. Better yet, trust him to do his job, which will free you up to do your job.

2. Choose your sidekicks carefully.

Kids are brutally honest. My great-niece Lucy told me, (quite loudly I might add) “You have pink teeth!” Sure enough, I took a peek in my compact mirror and discovered that I had lipstick on my teeth. You don’t want to surround yourself with bobble head dolls/dashboard dogs who will nod in agreement at everything you say. I think we all need a Lucy at our elbow. Someone who will honestly tell you when you’re doing a “craptacular” job, when your level of suckage is high, or even when you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe. You need someone who will dare to disagree with you.

3. Ask for feedback and input. 

Ask your team questions like, “From your perspective what should I be doing more of? Less of?” And “How do you think we should handle this situation?” By asking these questions and others like them you are not only gaining critical information that will help you to become a more effective leader, but you’re also sending the message to your team member that you value her and that her opinion is important to you.

4. Strive for collaboration over competition.

I’ve been hired to work with many leadership teams because they are functioning like a group of competitors instead of teammates. Set mutually agreed upon goals with your team and then together determine the actions necessary to accomplish those goals. There will be times when each individual will be called upon to sacrifice something for the greater good of the whole team. If a team member is successful, the whole team – and organization – wins.

5. Lead with your ears.

Listening is one of the most important skills you can develop as a leader. And most of us have lots o’room for improvement in this department.

6. Adopt a beginner’s mindset.

In the bayous of Louisiana you may hear someone call a person a tete dur. A tete dur, which translates literally to “hard head” is someone who just won’t listen, whose mind has been made up, or who thinks he knows better. Zen practice states that, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” When you think you have learned all that you need to know, you essentially shut down the conversation, the creativity, and the possibilities. Instead, be curious about someone’s “crazy” idea, be open to learning new things, and admit that you may not have all of the answers.

One of my favorite sayings is, “Nothing fails like success.” This is especially true when your ego turns into arrogance and cockiness and takes hold of your team members and ultimately your business. Instead of being tempted to send this to your boss, or a team member who gets under your skin, be humble and self-aware enough to analyze how you may identify with one of these signals. Then, use these strategies to rein in your ego.

CHIME IN:

  • Did any of the ego descriptions paint a picture of you?
  • How can you improve a relationship with a team member, a client, or a colleague that may have been affected by your ego? 

To receive solutions to your people problems in your inbox every month, and to receive our report: “7 of Your Biggest People Problems…Solved,” click here.

You might also like:

Successful Leaders Ask These 12 Powerful Questions

7 Steps to be a More Effective Leader

Leadership Team Accelerated Results Program

Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication.  In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she cuts through the BS and talks through the tough stuff to solve your people problems.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

The Importance of Understanding Personalities in the Workplace

Onward Nation’s Stephen Woessner, recently interviewed me regarding the importance of understanding personality in the workplace.

To listen, go to: https://predictiveroi.com/podcasts/dr-diane-hamilton/ 

On this episode we talked about:

  • When a painful experience can lead to something that is better
  • Why you should just take action instead of overanalyzing something
  • The benefits of finding a mentor who is super-efficient & does things differently than you
  • How effective leaders create leaders from the people that they lead
  • Staying true to your personality when having conversations with people
  • Treating people how they want to be treated
  • The problem with having a team that is not diverse
  • Why personality tests can be extremely beneficial
  • Some of the biggest issues with soft skills in business settings
  • Learning everything you can about what it is you want to do
Categories
Growth Human Resources Management Skills

6 Steps to Deliver Effective Feedback When You Dislike Conflict

As a consultant providing insights to leaders who value employee engagement, I often receive calls to address performance issues that could have been prevented by simply giving frequent and effective feedback.  If you see an engine light appear on your dashboard don’t you want to address it immediately? If you wait, don’t you risk additional expensive repairs and expensive inconvenience?  Performance issues are no less urgent than an obvious engine light.

Recently, two managers from one of my clients called complaining about the new employee who often withheld valuable information and didn’t always cooperate with the managers or the team members. This behavior was damaging the performance of the team.  The employee was attempting to hide some of his negative performance for fear he would be either criticized or disciplined.  Neither manager wanted to confront him with these truths because they both disliked conflict and feared making things worse.  This avoidance by managers is common.

The managers called me because they knew they needed an expert in delivering feedback.  At one point during our conversations they encouraged me to deliver the feedback to the troubled employee to avoid their responsibility.  “I can’t do that.” I explained.  “I don’t have any data or observations.  You have the data.  And, you need to be the ones to give the feedback.  Let me help you!”  

Their intentions were good.  They feared making the situation worse.  They just needed the proper methods and skills, the encouragement, and the proper context to deliver the feedback.  They knew they needed help.  The good news is, they asked for help.

Managers often avoid delivering negative feedback to avoid conflict and unintended negative emotional reactions.  Poorly delivered feedback can damage the trust in a relationship and lead to even more performance issues.  Effective feedback requires a high level of confidence, emotional intelligence, and excellent communication skills.  This is especially true during challenging performance discussions.

To make it even more stressful, an environment or industry with labor shortages (like the one they were in), managers will naturally hesitate to deliver challenging performance feedback out of fear the employee will quit.  Unexpected turnover increases costs for the company and drama for the managers.

To add to these challenges, there are also certain communication styles which tend to avoid conflict and the key manager in this situation (the one directly responsible for the troubled employee) was a “poster child” for one of these communication styles.

What can one do to deliver challenging performance feedback when we know the discussion will become an emotional conflict?  I provided six steps to the managers.  They acted.

A Behavioral Standard

We need a standard set of behaviors that the employees are willing and able to embrace.  This standard must include observable behaviors and is useful when it’s connected to the organizational values.  If you don’t have one, co-create it with a team of employees.  The managers already had one.

Reinforce Agreement on the Standard

If there is a standard of behavior, take time to remind the employee(s) how important the standard is and how it creates benefits for everyone including the organization, the employee and especially customers.

During a challenging performance discussion, a manager who references a standard of behavior can make the discussion about the standard and avoid criticism of the employee or their personality.  The presence of a standard allows the manager to stay calm during the performance feedback discussion.  The manager’s opinion is no longer needed. It’s about the standard of behaviors.

Acknowledge your possible contribution

Because managers (and especially Sr. Managers) are the most responsible for the working environment of an organization, it’s always useful for them to take partial responsibility for poor performance of a team or team member.  Taking some responsibility for the situation will reduce the tension, minimize negative emotions, and increase the cooperation during the performance discussion.  From the employee perspective, the manager could have easily contributed to the poor performance unknowingly.

If the employee believes the manager has contributed to the poor performance, and they aren’t given opportunity to release it, there will likely be a negative emotional reaction when the manager attempts to deliver their feedback.

Facilitate agreement to hear the feedback

Avoid giving the feedback without asking for permission first.  This gives the manager control of the interaction and concurrently, it gives the employee a sense of autonomy. This technique optimizes respect.  Increased respect leads to increased openness.  Once you ask permission to ask questions, you are able to lead the conversation by asking questions.

Adopt a process and practice

There is a difference between a script and a process.  A script can be restrictive and create an insincere impression.  A process includes specific recommended steps.  If the manager follows the steps and uses their own choice of words, the feedback will likely be sincere and will increase the probability of acceptance.  More importantly, if the manager practices the process steps, this increases confidence and sincerity which leads to acceptance.

Make the conversation about learning

Make the conversation about the learning and not about the flaws in the person.  Both the manager and the employee will learn from a valuable feedback conversation.  Avoiding criticism of the employee can be accomplished if the manager follows the previous steps and then focuses on process and methods that the employee uses to achieve goals.

The manager and employee can brainstorm options for changing methods.  The discussion is NOT about the employee and/or their personality.  It’s about “What can we learn, and how can we improve our methods?”

The managers followed these recommendations and the result was very positive.  Furthermore, their success has led to improved courage in providing feedback in other situations.

Anyone concerned about delivering negative feedback can learn from my two client managers.

Check out the interview on C-Suite Best Seller TV to learn more about how to stop leadership malpractice and replace the typical performance review: https://www.c-suitetv.com/video/best-seller-tv-wally-hauck-stop-the-leadership-malpractice/

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Take the 5 Step Attention Challenge

You think you’re paying attention – you’re not. We live in an attention deficit society. Technology distracts us. Social Media overwhelms us.  Daily to-do lists leave us feeling exhausted. We are constantly being asked to do more with less, to the point we have lost sight of what is important as we race each day to cross off another meaningless task or chore.

I believe in order to be influential in the world, and make a true impact on it; we must give our undivided attention to people and things that matter most in our lives. Instead, we are allowing those that are most important to compete with all of our daily distractions. It’s time to commit to change.

Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. When you decide what gets your attention, that becomes your future. I challenge you to start turning your life into one of attention abundance instead of distractions in five steps. Are you up for the challenge? It won’t be easy. It will bring to light the aspects in your life that are worthy of your focus, your time and your undivided attention.

Step 1: Identify What Matters Most

Grab a piece of paper and write down three priorities that come to mind at home, at work and in your community. Perhaps it’s the name of people, or high-profile goals. Maybe it’s a charitable cause or public service. Either way, be specific in each of the three categories and limit yourself to no more than three priorities for each. This step is going to help you identify what matters most to you, the core of you. These are the priorities that get you out of bed each morning, and give you a sense of purpose. When we attempt to define too many priorities, we dilute the meaning of those that matter most.

Step 2: Be Accountable to the Calendar

With your limited priority list now identified, it’s time to get selective with your calendar of commitments. We only get 365 days each year to reach our goals and objectives. That’s a pretty tight calendar budget if it’s not managed wisely. Consider this, if you only had $365 dollars in the bank and were forced to choose between food and jewelry – you’d choose food, right? That’s easy. So why do we think of the days in a year any differently? We are all working from the same limited budget of days, yet some are too quick to spend their days on what doesn’t matter. It’s time to be accountable to our calendar.

First, go through your work calendar and identify two meetings this week that are not necessary. If you feel the objective of the meeting can be accomplished in a simple phone call or email, choose those options instead. If you have the meetings scheduled merely out of routine and habit, they aren’t needed. If you are attending meetings and feel they are not a valuable use of your time, decline them.

Second, for those meetings you choose to keep on your work calendar, email the host and request an agenda. Take a few moments to be certain your time will be respected and used wisely. If you are the host, give respects to the attendees by creating an agenda that you commit to using and sticking to. If you want others to respect your time, you must first start by respecting theirs.

Third, at home, review your personal commitments and obligations. Have you accepted a dinner invite you didn’t really desire to attend? Perhaps you have requests for lunch, parties and gatherings that you aren’t certain how you’ll fit into your already tight calendar of events. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it’s time to employ the power of one simple word: “No.” That’s right, “no.” “No” is a complete sentence and doesn’t require explanation. Your time is your time, and only is gifted to others when their requests of it fall in line with the priorities you listed in step one. When you say “no” to some, you’re saying “yes” to whom and what matters most. Consider this – if there is a dinner invitation you’ve received that you’re not thrilled to attend, and you would rather stay home and watch a movie with your family, who is going to benefit the most from you saying “yes” to the dinner invite? You? Your family? No – the person with the invitation is the one that benefits. If they are not in your list of priorities, then you are allowing them to take time away from those truly deserving of your time.

Step 3: Be Accountable to the Clock

There are only 1,440 minutes in each day. Considering we sleep approximately 440 of those, we are left with only 1,000 minutes to accomplish what truly needs to be done each day. We are all gifted with the same amount of time in a day; how we choose to use it and prioritize it is solely up to us.

Have you ever stopped to consider the amount of time you spend each day on social media? What about watching television? How about checking email? Now, consider how much time you spend building relationships with family, friends, colleagues and clients? Who is winning your attention and what is stealing your time.

I want you to consider your day in 15 minute increments. Discipline yourself to limiting time on non-essential tasks for 15 minutes only. Dedicate at least 15 minutes of time to those that haven’t been getting it.

First, upon waking in the morning, take 15 minutes to check social media and read the news – then log off. Do not give into temptation to check it again until your next scheduled 15 minute window – either later that night or the next morning. Utilize apps that block alerts and notifications on your phone to avoid distractions they cause.

Second, review your daily calendar and challenge yourself and your team to cut back meetings to 15 minutes only. Require agendas and don’t permit devices that cause distractions. When you limit meetings to 15 minutes, you’ll reach agreements more quickly and be less likely to get lost on non-related topics.

Third, schedule 3 – 15 minutes increments time for checking email throughout your workday. When your 15 minutes is up, turn off your email and turn your attention to accomplishing projects, tasks and priorities. Move away from allowing email to run your day and dictate how your time is to be spent. Emails are just another person’s request for your time to do what they need to accomplish their tasks.

Fourth, dedicate 15 minutes each night to having one-on-one conversations with each person in your household. Give them a minimum of 15 minutes of your time without technology, tv or distractions. You’d be surprised how your relationships grow when you invest your undivided attention into them.

Fifth, allow yourself 15 minutes each day for decompression and quiet time. Give your body and your mind an opportunity to quiet and rest. Go for a walk. Take a hot bath. Get a stretch. Meditate. Either way, permit your mind to quiet down so it has an opportunity to recharge for the following day.

Step 4: Put Technology in its Place

By silencing distractions, such as smartphones, people begin to excel at their jobs, relationships and tasks. A cell phone is a crutch. It fools us into believing everything is an emergency, even when the situation is far from it. When people let go of the need to connect, they get better at sleeping, they come to work refreshed, they learn to trust their instincts, and they begin to rely on their skills and knowledge. In short, they become better leaders, better middle managers, and better employees. They also become better spouses, better parents and their quality of life grows.

First, use your Do Not Disturb function on your phone. Schedule it to turn on from 8pm to 8am each morning. This will ensure time each night is spent focused and dedicated on your personal well-being. In this time period, you can exercise, spend time in uninterrupted conversation with friends and family, sleeping and resting up for a more productive day following.

Second, do not permit technology in meetings. If you are hosting a meeting, make it known on the invite and in the agenda that your meeting is a no-phone zone. If you’re going to be cutting down meetings to 15-minute increments, every minute requires each participant’s undivided attention.

Third, make your dinner table a no-phone zone. If you are out to dinner with friends, make a deal that the first person to look at their phone has to buy dinner. If you are at dinner with your family, put all devices away and keep them off the table. Use that time to make genuine connections with those you are dining with.

Fourth, use smartphone apps to silence your phone throughout the day when you are otherwise committed to scheduled activities such as checking email, focusing on projects or accomplishing tasks. You will maximize your productivity when you keep your focus exclusively on one task as a time instead of allowing yourself to be distracted every few minutes.

Step 5: Gift Your Time

Our society depends on each of us to give the gift of our time to charitable causes and be purposeful in how we contribute to our community. Choose how you will contribute to causes that matter to you and your community. Be intentional in scheduling time to volunteer, donate and help others. Reflect back on Step 1 and what you listed as your priorities. Decide how you will contribute to aiding those causes and make the commitment to follow through.

Remember, Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. Decide what gets your attention, and allow that to become your future. Are you up to the challenge?