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Category: Personal Development

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Best Practices Growth Personal Development

How You Talk May Matter More Than You Know

Most people don’t write the way they speak. However, if you develop the habit of speaking in an overly-casual or thoughtless way, that habit has a tendency to creep into your writing.

In contrast, if your speaking is clear and lucid, those habits of precision will influence how you write. Corporate employees put great weight on what you write. They may dissect every word. Errors in your writing can change the entire meaning of your communication and destroy your credibility.

The simple formula here is: Improve your speaking, and you will improve your writing.

And this isn’t the only reason to learn how to speak well.

People Are Listening to/Reading What You Say

In the privacy of your home or at dinner with close friends, it doesn’t usually matter whether you use clichés or are grammatically incorrect. However, if you’re talking with a colleague or participating in any public speaking opportunity, it does.

There are more grammarians out there in the world than you may think. They are listening to what you say. While the advantage of speaking is that spelling and punctuation don’t count, correct grammar does.

What to Avoid

Filler words.  These include, “Kind of,” “Like,” “Totally,” and many, many more.

Turn the tables around. If you were listening to a speaker trying to sell you on the benefits of the services he was marketing, and he said, “You will like totally love this service,” would you be interested or looking for the exit?

Or this: “It’s kind of one of the real selling points of this service.” Do you see how “kind of” weakens what’s meant to be a strong statement?

Odds are that most people are at least somewhat careful about this kind of excess in a speech that’s partially or entirely written out. Podcasts and other kinds of interviews are more dangerous because they have an informal flavor.

I have listened to podcasts where if I had gotten one dollar for every “kind of,” “totally,” “just, “maybe,” etc., I could have retired.

Sentences that never end. I mean sentences of easily one hundred words. These are bad enough in written form. When someone speaks them, the poor listener will have long since forgotten what the original point was.

Incomplete sentences. This is actually a subcategory of the endless sentence. As the listener forgot what the speaker was talking about, so, too, did the speaker, who changed subjects in the middle and roared off on a new tangent. Neither the first nor the second subject terminated in a nicely formed conclusion.

Clichés. In the paragraph above, I originally used the phrase, “switched horses midstream.” I like that phrase, but I couldn’t write about clichés after using one. When I replaced it, I remembered why they’re so popular. They’re lazy substitutes for accurate description.

Words serve many purposes. One of these is that they are tools. You wouldn’t change a tire with a sledgehammer. You don’t give or write a persuasive statement about something in which you believe by loading down your prose with awkward, unnecessary words.

Need help editing your articles, papers, or a book? Pat Iyer is a C Suite Advisor (one of the original 100) and a ghostwriter and editor. Contact her at http://patiyer.com/contact

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Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

Influence: How to Surprisingly Win More in a Negotiation

 

“To win more negotiations, use the power of influence.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

During a negotiation, you, and the other negotiator attempt to influence each other. Thus, you should always place a high value on using influencing strategies. You can increase the value of your negotiation outcomes by using the influence techniques that follow.

Psychologists have identified six forms of power that you can use as sources of influence in your negotiations. They are:

1. Coercive power

(threats & punishment) – With this form of power, you can force the other negotiator into a position of acceptance. But you should be mindful that you’ll more than likely not make a friend of him. Plus, by using threats and punishment as incentives for acquiescence you may become perceived as a bully – this may heighten your opponents need to seek pay-back. If that’s not a concern, recognize when this source of power is a viable influence tool. Just be aware of its blowback danger and how you use it.

2. Reward power

(ability to offer incentives) – Reward power can be very temporary. Its value will decline as the perception of the reward devalues. When using rewards as a source of influence, do so from two perspectives.

  1. Positive – “This is what you’ll get, something pleasant if you give me what I want.”
  2. Negative – “This is what you’ll lose if you forego my offer.”

3. Legitimate power

(influence based on your position or title) – The challenge with legitimate power is, one must accept it before it has authority. Therefore, if you have a position or title that’s not perceived as being valid, you’ll have little influence when attempting to use it in a negotiation. When using this source of power for influence, be sure to cast it in the light of perceived validity before the negotiation. That will enhance the respect and appeal of this power.

4. Referent power

(influence based on your likability or admiration) – People that possess an affable personality tend to become better received by others. While reverent power has its place on the influence scale, some negotiators will dislike you for possessing this attribute. To have this influencer serve you better, balance it based on what’s occurring in the negotiation. When it suits your position, be reverent. When it doesn’t, discard it.

5. Expert power

(influence based on your knowledge and skills) – The perception of expert power can be fleeting – because it’s situational. It lasts for the time that your knowledge is needed. In a negotiation, if a seller or buyer can acquire what she seeks from another provider, your power erodes. When using expert power, be strategic. Use it sparingly in situations that are warranted.

6. Informational power

(not tied to your competence) – This can be power derived from ideas, opinions, access to thought-leaders, and influential people you meet and have access to. This form of influence is most powerful when the other party wants access to the information you possess. Its power becomes enhanced when you’re the only source that can grant access to what’s sought.

As in any negotiation, the manner of influence you use should be determined by the personality type that you’re negotiating against. Thus, to be more influential, you must know what will motivate that individual. One way to determine that is to evaluate whether the person is a giver or taker – the giver seeks power for the sake of helping others – the taker does so for the benefit of himself.

Once you have that knowledge in hand, you’ll have the key to which combination of influence to use. That will lead to more winning negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Influence #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Best Practices Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Caution: Conflation Can Expose Crazy Dreaded Consternation

“Caution – conflation can cause consternation when the wrong thoughts control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  

Was she confused? She didn’t know if she was conflating dissimilar occurrences or becoming consumed by #caution. #Conflation can do that she thought – cause your mind to accept dissimilar occurrences as being similar – even when logic dictates otherwise. She realized her perceived dilemma was leading to #consternation. And that was something that she didn’t want to deal with.

The Situation:

She posted her article in the usual manner. But it didn’t populate automatically as it usually did. Then, a message that should have gone to her special list didn’t occur – now what, she wondered. Those processes are on different platforms – that can’t be related, or can it? She felt a sense of foreboding wailing inside of her as she questioned herself as to whether she was conflating two situations that were independent of one another.

The Problem:

Sometimes we conflate dissimilar events and situations and begin to see them as one combined occurrence. You’ve more than likely heard that “things come in threes” – and that’s usually associated with negativity. So, why do we do it? Why do we subject ourselves to crazy thoughts that causes dread – that cause us consternation? In part, that’s due to what we’re focusing on and what we expect to see.

Consider this – if we weren’t looking for the “things come in threes” scenario, we wouldn’t spot the second iteration of the first thing in that occurrence. Thus, the third occurrence would never have life. We can really drive ourselves crazy assembling disjointed occurrences into a seemingly logical progression – especially when logic screams at us about their mismatch. You and I need to be cautious as soon as we start down that path – it can lead to crazy dreaded consternation.

The Solution:

First, when you’re thinking with a mindset that defies logic, think about the way you’re thinking. Continuing along your current path of reasoning can make things get worse before they become even worse. Stop your crazy thinking before it stops you. To do that, note:

  1. Conflation isn’t bad. Your appeal can be summoned by a combination of good and bad thoughts that appear to be dissimilar. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s harm in them. Both negative and positive conflation can be a plus. To assess when it is, note how it serves your goals. If it does, consider progressing your thoughts along the lines that you’re engaged in. If they’re not serving you, stop!

 

  1. Recognize the ‘headspace’ you’re in. Since your environment influences your thoughts, and impact your actions, take into consideration the environments you’re in – do so while considering the ones that you’ve been in recently. We’ve all heard about misplaced aggression due to situational occurrences that happened in another environment. To that end, even consider thoughts that aren’t prominent in your mind – silent thoughts can be like a vanishing ghost that wreaks havoc and then disappears back into nothingness.

 

  1. Question if you’re on a slippery slope. One line of thinking will naturally extend to the next thread in the string – if you fail to monitor it. When you sense you’re being filled with despair, question what scenarios you’re conflating. Ask yourself if they really belong in the same thread. To assess that possibility, listen to logic – it can be a strong arbiter for why you should adopt one belief over another.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

You may become consumed by crazy thoughts in a negotiation. Those thoughts may cause you consternation. Unless checked, you may find yourself mired by despair – wondering how you got there and how you’ll free yourself. During such times, you run the risk of being illogical, which will cause your negotiation abilities to wane. To prevent that from occurring, be mindful of your emotions. Understand what’s motivating you to think the way you’re thinking. And realize, if you’re not thinking right, the right things won’t occur.

The point is, you must isolate yourself from conflation when it doesn’t serve you and embrace it when it does. To know the difference, you must know what’s driving your thoughts and recognize where those thoughts are taking you. Then, and only then, will you have control over your thinking … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Personal Development Sales Women In Business

Women Make More Than 80% of Buying Decisions!

When her husband or partner asks, “What’s for dinner, honey?” he’s actually telling her to plan this week’s meals, make a shopping list, buy this week’s food, make each buying decision and charge it to their card, come home and put everything away, prepare tonight’s dinner, and serve him a meal.

Yes, we said, “make each buying decision”. According to Forbes, women made 80% of the buying decisions back in 2015. And it’s even higher today. In March, we celebrate Women’s History Month, and these facts are becoming more and more relevant.

Historically Honoring Women

In 1980, President Jimmy Carter acknowledged March 2-8 as National Women’s History Week. But by the end of 1987, Congress announced that March would permanently be National Women’s History Month.

Female Power

We recently witnessed an incredibly historic election, where more women than ever in our country’s history were elected. The Speaker of the House and both senators in our state of California are women. Statistically, women vote more frequently than men, and they’re making more and more decisions on their own. What does this all mean?

For one thing—it’s democracy in action, plain and simple. We also think it bodes well for the US. We are overdue to embrace many skills women have excelled in. Whether these skills are hereditary, or whether they come from culture, environment, or education, they are sorely needed.

A Woman’s Advantage

Where men seem to complete tasks and thoughts linearly, women seem to excel at multitasking. Mothers are often the ones to juggle finances in order to meet their family’s budgets. A woman’s so-called “nesting instinct” may make her more likely to hone in on security, avoiding conflict, and discovering common ground. Women are also more likely to choose to work in a team-based environment, rather than trying to do it alone. Sounds like something we need right now, doesn’t it?

Our Own Experience

Barefoot Wine was aimed at a 35-year-old mom with two children, making her way through the grocery store, looking for a reliable wine that fit her budget.

Our business was mostly run by women. Two of our four Board of Directors members were women. Our VP was a woman, and she had total veto power. Our Marketing Director, Winemaker, Traffic Manager, Accountant, Office Manager—all women. And we had one of the first female Sales Managers in the industry. Plus, Bonnie, our Co-founder, has her own footprint on the label of what is now known as the biggest wine brand of all time!

Simply Put—It’s Good Business

Women have a multiplier effect. Rarely do they ever buy just for themselves—they buy for their partner or entire family. Any business should understand that if the market were gendered, it would be female. This is truly the power of the purse!

Women demonstrate their concern about the environment. Nielsen released a report that shows how today’s consumer prefers products that advertise sustainability, and we now know that 80% of these consumers/purchasers are female. Mothers want to give their kids a thriving environment in which they can enjoy their future. They do this by voting with each purchase.

We are eternally thankful for women’s contributions over the years, and especially now as they confidently and firmly take our economy and government by the reins. We are excited to see their natural cooperation and preservation tendencies play themselves out, both in politics and in business. We continue to encourage young women to start a business of their own and speak out for what they believe in.

Women: The world is ready to invest in your products and to listen to what you have to say!

You continually make a positive difference, and everybody benefits from your contributions. Women of the United States—Thank you!

For more, read on: http://c-suitenetworkadvisors.com/advisor/michael-houlihan-and-bonnie-harvey/

Categories
Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Industries Management Skills

Learning to Master the Art of Your Career

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living — whether you work in medicine or retail, law or construction, software engineering or writing — there’s an art and science to every career. Each profession has its scientific aspects, those more mechanical facets, rules, and methods you must know to succeed. Yet no matter how dry, straightforward, or technical, these professions also have creative qualities that foster critical thinking.

This dichotomy is the reason no two professionals within the same industry are identical. These people may work within their careers for the same amount of time, possibly went to similar schools, or perhaps have the same position at the same company. However, they differentiate themselves in the ways they apply creativity and critical thinking to their jobs.

This idea impacts our personal lives as well. Consider medical professionals with the same specialty. If all dentists were the same by virtue of having identical skill sets and nothing more, you would have no preference for whom you go to for a root canal. But this isn’t the case; you prefer your dentist over one you have never been to due to their individual touch.

A real-world example occurred with one of my brothers, as some years back he struggled with pain in his legs. He visited three different orthopedic surgeons, all with identical skill sets and backgrounds. The doctors examined my brother. One suggested invasive surgery and the second proposed a more exploratory surgery. Both of these were unfavorable options. It wasn’t until we saw the third orthopedic surgeon that creative critical thinking took place. The doctor took one look at him and asked if he always wore his leather belt around his hips in the same place. When my brother answered in the affirmative, the doctor recommended he switch belts, replacing his leather one with a softer, more elastic material. With this change, his ailments were cured within a week.

All three doctors had the same impressive credentials and experience in the science behind their specialties; however, the third doctor utilized creative critical thinking to problem-solve.

Whether you’re training or in any level of schooling for a career, the “science” of that field is where the education lies. You’re receiving a hard, factual, standardized education, based on data and a proven methodology. Likewise, whether it’s accounting or food service, you’re also being schooled in the best practices of your industry.

Even in the creative fields, you still learn both the science and the art of your craft in order to find professional success in it. Writers must learn grammatical and syntactical convention, but they also have to learn how to write something everyone must read. Musicians need to learn scales, notation, and instrumental technique, but they also need to learn how to touch the hearts and souls of listeners to achieve musical greatness.

So where does the “art” come into these fields?

Artistic aspects of a career are picked up by professionals through years of experience and another, more flexible, less standardized type of “education,” one of induction. The first method of becoming more creative within your career through personal and professional experience is somewhat obvious — the longer you do something, you’ll become better at problem-solving and thinking “outside the box.”

The second method, the nonstandard educational method of developing intuitive insights coupled with creativity, involves gleaning the best-kept secrets and most well-honed, time-honored methods, the knowledge and wisdom of your profession from other professionals. These should be people who’ve already distinguished themselves through their own creativity. You might seek these people out, like a musician choosing to take lessons from one of his favorite players, or an entrepreneur asking the advice of someone who’s already established herself as a success in business. You might also stumble into these people during the course of your life, like having a captivating, inspirational professor or being trained by a capable manager who knows the secrets to making your job fun and interesting.

You can learn the science of your job from books, manuals, and classroom lessons and know that you will be good at what you do — but you need to learn the art from the artists of your field to become exceptional. This knowledge and wisdom transfer is key not only to success but to a rewarding career as well. Not only does it provide professionals an essential balance of skills, but it’s also what keeps industries thriving and innovative. It’s what pushes us to compete with others by bettering ourselves and, in doing so, to push our very professions forward.

Pick up a copy of my latest best selling book The Anticipatory Organization to help shape your future and accelerate your success.

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Personal Development

Keep It Simple: Lessons from D-Day

6 June 1944, 132,000 men storm ashore in the most massive amphibious assault in history. They are the spearhead to one of the largest, most complex, and crucial Allied operation of World War II.

Months of intelligence, planning, preparing, and even diversionary operations all came to a head in one grand event. Despite all this, General Montgomery, the ground commander for all Anglo-American forces under General Eisenhower, collected his battle plans for the invasion on a single piece of paper.
His note at the end was “Simplicity“.

It’s an old rule for military operations; no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. The same can be said for many of our business plans, objectives, and goals. No business plan survives first contact with the customer, supplier, or other stakeholders.

For business, many of us are enamored with creating the most complex, comprehensive, and all-inclusive plan that covers as many contingencies as possible. However, the fact of the matter is that, no matter how hard we try, the contingencies will always get the better of us. Because the more complicated we make things, the more rigid they become, and the more difficult they are to change when it is most necessary – when things go wrong.

Everyday operations are one thing, but in business today, we are continually looking at more complex, dynamic, and competitive environments. Moreover, the more we try to adapt, change, and invoke order and design upon them the more we see ourselves being forced into one corner or another because the rigidity of our plans will not allow for on-the-spot improvisation, adaptability, and ease of realignment.

General Montgomery knew this as he was preparing his men to invade Fortress Europe. Also, he knew what was in his control once the wheels started turning, and once the battle plan was put to action that this was precious little. Once his men were on the boats, on their way across the English Channel, his influence was restrained, and he could do little to make any necessary changes.

His commanders on the ground accomplished these necessary adjustments, and these commander’s objectives, in turn, were achieved by their subordinates. Every man involved knew the plan and their goals. So each was empowered to make the necessary decisions to accomplish their objectives and missions.
This simplicity and trust serve as the penultimate example for us to follow as leaders in each of our realms, in the military, business, or entrepreneurship.

Our lanes and responsibilities are vast, especially as we move higher up in our relative hierarchies. However, we have to recognize that as our responsibilities widen, our ability to directly influence events and outcomes narrows. We cannot have our hands in everything. We do not have the luxury to dictate how everything will go in dynamic and changing environments. We have to have the ability to step back, lay the groundwork, provide the key frameworks to work within, and then allow our people to move forward with the support, training, and guidance that we provide them.

It can be said that very few things went off without a hitch on that fateful day in 1944. However, the preparedness and success of the men involved was not a matter of their superior officers holding their hands and guiding them through the operation step-by-step. It was a matter of being given the most robust possible guidance, training, equipment, and then letting them do their jobs, frequently adapting and improvising as necessary.

Image courtesy of the Imperial War Museum.
Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Stop Complaining and Do Something About It!

“Complaints are like infections. If neglected, they can harm you.”   -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Two friends were talking. One said to the other, “I don’t get enough sleep – I’m gaining weight – I sit at the computer too much. And, I don’t exercise like I use to. I wonder if that’s why I’m putting on weight? I know all of that is bad for my health. But I must continue creating content. And, I must respond to the hundreds of people that reach out to me through email and social media every day. My life is spinning out of control and I don’t know what to do to balance it!”

Finally, the other friend said, “stop! I’m your friend – I care about you. Listen to yourself – you have the answer to everything you’ve complained about. If your complaints meant that much to you, you’d do something about them. You’d take action to address and correct them.”

Have you caught yourself complaining about what appeared to be a dilemma – something that caused you angst – something that you didn’t do anything to correct? If so, what you proclaimed to be so perplexing was not as challenging as reported. Because, like the one friend said to the other, if it created the degree of torment you stated, you’d do something to address it.

Here’s the point. There are times when you complain to solicit empathy from those you complain to. Recognize when you’re doing that. Because you’re not ready to take action – you just want to shout aloud about what you’re experiencing. You may be seeking feedback to comfort your mind, not feedback that’ll move you to action. Contrast that to when you become tired of complaining about something. That’s when you’ll take action. To note the difference in your mindset, note the differences in your actions.

Action Item:

If you’re seriously fed-up with your circumstances, if you’re tired of what’s stopping you from greater improvement, you’ll stop complaining and take action to alleviate its cause. Start to note the times when your complaints increase or decrease. Begin to observe the emotional upheaval you experience when thinking about a complaint that causes you anxiety. Pay attention to the degree of change that occurs in you – note when you think you might take action to address your concerns. That process will help you measure your mental perspective about your perceived challenges. It should also be the distant call that moves you closer to taking action sooner than later. That will be a time when your self-actualization and happiness embrace … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Most likely, you’ve complained about not negotiating efficiently. When it occurred, did you anguish about it? There are two possible reasons why you might not have negotiated better. Either you didn’t plan properly or, you didn’t create a better strategy in your planning process. How many times has that happened throughout your life? A better question might be, now that you’ve heightened your awareness, what are you going to do about it going forward?

If you’ve complained about the negotiation outcomes you’ve had in the past – if you thought you could have negotiated better. Do something about it – stop complaining! You don’t have to learn more negotiation and reading body language strategies from me. But, to assuage your own emotional state of mind, seek insights from someone that can teach you how to become a better negotiator. Take action – that’ll allay your complaints.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#StopDoingIt #Complaints #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Mergers & Acquisition Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Shoulder Shrugs Can Expose Scary Secrets in a Negotiation

“Shoulder shrugs expose secret information. Notice them to detect their secrets.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Have you heard the cliché, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”? If you have, do you subscribe to it? If you do, you shouldn’t. Because, a lack of knowledge can expose you to scary secrets in a negotiation – secrets that can bite you at the most unsuspecting points in the negotiation. But, there’s one way you can protect yourself. How – by accurately interpreting the meaning of shoulder shrugs when you negotiate.

Shoulder shrugs convey secret information. They expose hidden thoughts of the person that’s attempting to hide those thoughts.

Observe the following shoulder shrug examples. You’ll obtain hidden information that those shrugs attempt to conceal.

When a person displays a shoulder shrug, it can represent a multitude of hidden meanings. It can be a sign of reluctance (i.e. what more do you expect of me) – a sign of protection (i.e. I’m not going to stick my neck out) – it can also be a sign of exasperation (i.e. I’m getting tired of this). Regardless of the hidden meaning, it gives additional insight into the thoughts of that person.

Single Shrug: A single shrug can denote a lack of full commitment in response to a question or statement made.

Leaning Preference

  • When displaying a single shoulder shrug, a person will tend to favor their dominant side. This is important to note – because it adds additional meaning to the shrug. As an example, if someone that’s right-handed shrugs their left shoulder, he may be displaying less of a commitment to the response that caused the gesture. As with everything related to reading body language, you must establish someone’s body language foundation before you can accurately assess the validity of their actions.

Double Shrug: A double shrug (both shoulders elevated) can connote more commitment to a reply or statement.

As an example, if one elevated both shoulders while stating, “I didn’t do it”, she’d be displaying more commitment to the statement then if she displayed a single shrug – note: to discern the probability of the truth you should still probe deeper. The act of the shrug is that person’s commitment to her pronouncement at that moment – it can change with further probing.

Leaning Preference

  • When someone performs a double shrug, that person’s hands provide additional insights. As an example, if an offer is made consisting of two items and the recipient says, “I don’t care”, while shrugging with one hand higher than the other, he’s nonverbally expressing a preference for one of the items – the preference lies in the order the items were offered or their proximity to the hand that’s higher.

Additional Shrug Meanings:

Hands: The movement of someone’s hands lends insights into their thoughts. To gather additional awareness per the meaning of a shrug, take note of …

  • hands close to the body – indicates they’re guarded
  • hands palms-up – signals they have less to conceal
  • hands palms-down – they’re less accepting
  • hands palms-up-and-out – says, keep away from me

Head Tuck: To observe how threatened someone might feel when they shrug, note the degree they protect their head when …

  • head extends forward – says, I’ll challenge you
  • head to one side – denotes preference
  • head straight up – states, I’m willing to expose more of myself
  • head tucked – says, I’m making myself less of a target

Of course, the additional shrug meanings can conceal someone’s real intent. That’s because good negotiators can affect this maneuver to add perceived emotional credibility to their effect.

Shrug Time:

Always note the length of time a shrug lasts and the number of times they occur. The length and number of times will indicate a person’s ever-changing degree of angst or determination to get you to back off. In all cases, they’ll be signaling information that you can use to enhance the negotiation.

Action Item:

Start noticing when, under what circumstances, and how frequently people shrug their shoulders. Doing that will increase your attentiveness and skills about this behavior. That will allow you to become a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#ShoulderShrug #secrets #NegotiationStrategies #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

Categories
Marketing Personal Development

Show Your Human Side in the Content You Share Online

When you show the human side of yourself…

…people feel like there’s an entry point into your world.

One of the most asked questions that I field from clients revolves around what they should post about after they get their hands on a pile of branded lifestyle portraits.

As I explain to those who enroll in my Idea Nugget Incubator Program, although it’s essential to illustrate your expertise, and more specifically, show how that expertise helps solve your client’s specific pain points, you also have one other major objective to consider:

You are in the business of building relationships that eventually mature from a follower who appreciates your work to them hiring you for your specialized help.

Talk Like a Human Being

One of the best ways to do that with an audience that’s never met you in person is to create content that breaks the fourth wall and lets them understand who you are as a human being.

What drives you to be the person you are? What do you stand for? What’s important to you outside of your business? Interesting hobbies? Family – is it important to you?

What about your past? How did it lead you to the path you walk on in your life and business today? Had any major setbacks? Struggles with identity? Discovering your passion to serve?

How about the future? What are your goals? Aspirations? How are you working on achieving those goals now?

These are just some of the questions that you can explore through your social media posts and blog articles.

When you create content that goes deep beneath the surface, especially with stories that share vulnerabilities, you’re painting a much more vivid, broader picture of who you are, who you serve and why you do what you do.

As a result, you’re purposefully curating your online presence in a way that shares both your superhero ability to offer the solutions to your client’s pain points while also being empathetic and relatable to those you serve by showing them that you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

If you only shared expertise-driven posts, you’re missing a golden opportunity to allow your audience to connect more deeply with you beyond the work, and allow them to feel like they are part of your world – and give them the chance to share everything you do with their community.

And when you’re looking to grow a community of advocates, referral partners, and clients, offering your audience an opportunity to build rapport with you through your human being-driven stories is one sure fire way to fan that flame.

What About the Images to Compliment these Stories?

Identifying, writing and scheduling the stories that share your human being side is step one – a very important step one!

But, the work is not done yet.

To ensure that your story has a legitimate opportunity to be seen by your audience on their news feeds, it’s essential that you compliment the story with image content that visually punctuates the sentiment of that story.

Here are a couple of options to keep in mind as you develop more content around this idea of showing your human being side and providing your audience an entry point into your life.

Old Photos From Your Past

Do you have images from the time period that you’re referencing in these stories? If so, these would be ideal to either scan or take a photo of with your smartphone camera and attach it to the posts.

I have written several articles that relate to my struggle with weight and self-esteem, and, for each of those articles, I’ve included photos of me when I was at the height of my weight post-college.

Although I’d prefer to never look at them again, I understand that the image and the story will speak directly to a lot of my clients who can relate directly to this issue.

In addition, using old photos taken “back in the day,” especially on outdated technology, are eye-catching because they look and feel different than photos taken today.

Remember all those old square photos taken with the sepia tint? They stand out, big time, amongst all the other stuff on a news feed simply because they look different. And no, the Instagram filters CANNOT replicate this look precisely in the same way, 🙂

If you discover old photos that visually punctuate the sentiments of the stories you’re sharing, digitize them and use them to your advantage!

Selfies/Smartphone Photos

Since you don’t have a paparazzi following you around 24/7, you need to take matters into your own camera from time-to-time.

If you’re engaging in a fun hobby or doing something with the family and want to share the moment with those you serve, then grab the phone and snap the shot. Otherwise, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to visually punctuate that story with an image that precisely paints the picture.

You don’t need to have a background in photography to do this, folks.

And don’t worry if the picture is good or bad – just take a couple shots of the moment from different vantage points – wide shot to close up, move from the left side to the right – and when you’re done, take a look at the options and pick the one that looks best to you.

When it’s a selfie or a smartphone shot, no one anticipates that image to aesthetically blow them away – it’s about sharing that moment or insight with those you serve – that’s what counts most in this case.

Branded Lifestyle Portraits

So, what happens when you don’t have an old photo that works or you forgot to take a photo with your smartphone camera?

Well, you could leverage one of your professionally-captured, branded lifestyle portraits to visually punctuate that story, as an alternative.

The key is looking through your image content portfolio and identifying a portrait that compliments and enhances the emotional resonance of the story that you’re sharing.

For example, if you share a story about the death of a parent and how that motivated you to pivot your life in a completely different direction, don’t use an image where you’re wildly laughing.

The emotion of the story and the sentiment of the image are incongruent, and it sends a confusing message to those who read the post.

That seems like common sense, but, you’d be surprised at how many times I’ve come across this incongruence between message and image online.

If your image content portfolio has a variety of images that span the emotional spectrum, you will be in good shape to select an image that makes the most sense for the emotion you’re looking to convey in that piece of content.

So, Should I be an Open Book?

The short answer? Absolutely not.

You are the gatekeeper of everything you share online, so, you decide what’s fair game and what stays close to the vest.

Although I am comfortable sharing many aspects of my life with my audience, I certainly don’t spill the beans on everything. I have a simple rule for myself that I adhere to every time I sit down to write stories that shine a light on an aspect of my personal life:

If I feel this remotely feels like an overshare or is embarrassing to my friends and/or family, I avoid it. If it’s something that I’m comfortable talking about publically and is relatable to my audience, I double-down on it and bring it up when relevant to the lessons I’m imparting on those I serve.

As long as you set healthy boundaries, you’ll provide yourself with a framework when figuring out how far you want to go with sharing your life with your audience.

When you set the intention to connect on a deeper level with those you serve, it helps them see you in a different light.

While they already know that you can help them get past what’s holding them back from the rest of your content, stories that share your human being side allows them to see that you’re real, that you’ve been where they are, and that you care.

If you want to build trust with your audience, lead with heart – they’ll thank you for it by signing up for your services down the line, 🙂

John DeMato is an NYC branded lifestyle portrait photographer and content creation expert who serves speakers, authors, coaches and high-level entrepreneurs across the country. His 50+ page e-book, S.H.A.R.E. M.A.G.I.C.A.L. I.D.E.A.S., lays out the how what and why behind creating a memorable and referable online presence – sign up to get your FREE copy today.

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Bitcoin’s Highs and Lows: Where to Next?

Since the critical acclaim of Bitcoin and digital currencies in 2017, there has been a lot of talk about its future. Bitcoin was the first digital currency to attract mainstream attention, and after that, 2018 was less than glamorous, with the price plummeting.

Are cryptocurrencies a thing of the past already, or a Hard Trend of the future?

A Bitcoin Overview

Cryptocurrency uses peer-to-peer technology, similar to the file-sharing technology of the early 2000s. Bitcoin was the first cryptocurrency, it being virtual and decentralized. This means no one is in charge of it and it isn’t backed by the government. Bitcoin’s value is protected only by a distributed network that maintains its ledgers and protects its transactions by means of cryptography.

The concept behind Bitcoin first emerged in 2009 by an anonymous programmer (or programmers) using the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto. A single Bitcoin is today valued at $8,204, while the market cap is now at $145.66 billion.

Every Bitcoin is connected to an address and every Bitcoin is sent or received by a digital wallet attached to the address. Names aren’t associated with the transactions, creating a system that is wholly transparent while remaining functionally anonymous.

Bitcoin: A Soft Trend?

What exactly can you do with Bitcoins? It’s digital currency, so saving or spending them seems to be the immediate answer. However, in order to spend them, individuals and, more importantly, businesses must accept your Bitcoins. While a growing number of businesses accept Bitcoin, such as Overstock.com, most popular merchants and service providers including Amazon do not.

Let’s first discuss my Hard Trend Methodology and the differences between Hard Trends and Soft Trends to assess Bitcoin’s longevity.

A Hard Trend is a trend that will happen and is based on measurable, tangible, and fully predictable facts, events, or objects. They are future facts that cannot be changed.

A Soft Trend is a trend that might happen and is based on an assumption that looks valid in the present, and it may be likely to happen, but it is not a future fact. Soft Trends can be changed.

While Bitcoin itself grew in popularity, its future success is still a Soft Trend. During 2017, Bitcoin was treated by many as more of an investment than actual currency and likewise faced backlash when it was used for illegal online transactions.

However, the concept of cryptocurrencies is a Hard Trend, and here’s why:

Cryptocurrency: A Hard Trend

Cryptocurrencies are here to stay, including the underlying technology (blockchain) that enables them to function. Cryptocurrency, as well as blockchain, represents a radically new idea in finance: a decentralized system for exchanging value. Due to its open-source nature and its copyright-free core program, there will always be room for improvement. Programmers around the world have already developed military-grade encryptions and new ways to trade, thus stabilizing the prices.

Cryptocurrencies exist as mere entries in a blockchain-enabled accounting system. That system acts as a transparent public ledger that records transactions among “addresses.” Owning cryptocurrency isn’t analogous to having paper money in your pocket. Instead, it means a personal claim to an address, with your own password, and the right to do with it as you see fit. Over time, this will increasingly disrupt traditional models and global currencies, playing a role in a number of future digital transformations.

The Future of Currency: Digital Payments

Imagine you want new shoes, and your favorite shoe store accepts some form of cryptocurrency. If you don’t already possess cryptocurrency, you purchase some from a crypto-currency kiosk or an online exchange and assign it to your online account, known as a “wallet.”

When paying for your new shoes, you open your “digital wallet,” which is unlocked with passwords and/or biometrics, and the currency network is publicly informed that you’ve transferred $100 worth of cryptocurrency to the store. This happens fast, and there are almost no fees and no personal information divulged. Compare this with the slow debit or credit card counterpart, often with a third party involved. The benefits become more clear.

Other Cryptocurrencies

Bitcoin was the first digital currency, but not the last. A large number of cryptocurrencies now exist, and the list is expanding. Litecoin, for example, was launched back in 2011 on the same blockchain as Bitcoin and was meant to improve it. Ethereum was created in 2015 by Vitalik Buterin and is a blockchain-based platform that can be used for developing decentralized apps and smart contracts. The list of cryptocurrencies is actually quite large and, as I said earlier, growing. And the enabling technology, blockchain, is being applied to a rapidly growing number of industries creating both disruption and new opportunities.

In Conclusion

Bitcoin versus the technology category of cryptocurrency gives us a clear example of the difference between Soft Trends and Hard Trends. Cryptocurrencies will continue to evolve and integrate into our economy and everyday life, as will the enabling blockchain technology, making cryptocurrency a Hard Trend, while the future success of individual cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin is a Soft Trend: It may or may not have a bright future. When you’re able to distinguish between the Soft Trends that might happen and the Hard Trends that will happen, you will dramatically improve your ability to understand and manage risk as you become more anticipatory.

Learn how to accurately manage risk with my latest bestselling book The Anticipatory Organization.