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“Stop Bully Fear How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“A bully’s power exists to the degree you grant it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)    Click here to get the book!

 


“Stop Bully Fear – How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating, even more so against a bully.

World leaders gently gnaw at their bottom lip as the world wrenches in turmoil created by the bully. They are waiting to see what the bully does next. They pause in hesitation because they are unsure which negotiation skills and tactics to use. One courageous leader stands alone, shouting, fight the bully.

But since he has little and limited power on the world stage, his cry for assistance to fight the bully forcefully is met with an insufficient response. Even though the bully has shown through actions that he cannot be appeased or trusted, those in power act with restrained power. No one seems to know how to negotiate with the bully.

So, how might you better negotiate with a bully to fight back his aggressive nature? That is what this article will help you discover. And in so doing, you will increase your negotiation skills.

Click here to discover more!

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

 

Check out this offer to learn more about negotiating better and reading body language!

“Stop Bully Fear – How To Fight Back And Easily Increase Negotiation Skills”

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After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Moves You the Most Fear: Reward or Pain?

“The difference between fear, reward, or pain, is the emotional state that either creates in you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you know what moves you to action the quickest? I know it depends on the circumstance you’re in. But sometimes, we’re moved more by fear than reward or pain.

You should always be aware of what moves you to action in any situation. Doing so allows you to be more aligned with your decision-making process. And that allows you to understand why you choose to engage in certain actions.

The following are thoughts to consider when assessing how to decide about an action you’ll take. Being aware of those observations will also help you identify the source of motivation that’s controlling your thoughts.

Fear: Most people are motivated more by the fear of loss versus the reward of gain. You can test yourself by examining something that’s of value to you. Assess to what degree you’d feel pain if you no longer had it. Now compare that to other items (i.e. people, things) that you value. Now how do you feel? Through that quick simulation, you’ve prioritized what is of value to you. And, you’ve assessed the emotional state you’d be in if you no longer had it. You can make the same calculations when weighing the benefits of possibly acquiring something new versus not doing so because of where that process might lead. Also remember, something new carries intrinsic risks – it’s unknown – it has no history and thus no track record. It might look good in the beginning and be fraught with hidden dangers to come.

Reward: This can be a great motivator. But you should also note why you’re driven by a reward. If the driving force is to escape what you’re moving from, you should consider that fear might be the predominant source that’s motivating you. That’s important because you don’t want to think you’re driven by reward when the source is fear. The two motivators are directed by different mindsets within you.

The true motivation of reward might appear as you being happy and seeking more to enhance that feeling. As a result, you’re willing to take a risk to obtain what you seek. Always question when seeking a reward what the hidden risk is. Question to what degree it’s the loss of something that you’re familiar with. Thus, make your calculations appropriately to determine if you’re propelled by moving towards or away from something.

Pain: Pain can be a feisty motivator. On the one hand, most people attempt to avoid pain. Then, there are those that embrace it as a source to grow from. Either psyche may be the motivator that moves you to action.

Like the association that fear and reward have to one another, the avoidance of pain can be the conductor that divides one direction from another. That’s to say, if you’re predominately attempting to avoid pain, you may forgo the risk of reward. If you’re immune to pain, you may be more daring. Again, there’s a thin mental line that separates the mindset that’ll move you in one direction versus another. Know what that mindset is.

Always attempt to understand the sources that motivate you. They’re the lifeblood of your being. Thus, the more you know the process that controls its flow, the better you’ll be able to direct it … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you’ll be motivated to take action based on fear, reward, or pain. If you’re aware of the driving force that motivates you to action, you should be better positioned to control those actions. By being in greater control of yourself, you’ll be in greater control of the negotiation and the other negotiator. That means that he won’t be able to easily ‘push your buttons’ … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #Reward #Pain #Negative #Stop #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

There’s No Shame in Ignorance

“There’s no shame in being ignorant. The shame comes from not dispelling it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body language Expert

“Alexa, who is Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert? Sorry, I don’t know that” was Alexa’s reply.

Do you think Alexa felt shame about not knowing the answer to that question – it didn’t? Alexa is artificial intelligence. It’s programmed to acquire knowledge. You’re like that too. You acquire knowledge and that reduces your ignorance. There should be no shame associated with engaging in that process.

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. Everyone is ignorant of many things. So, why do people become shamed by it? This article explores that. And it abates the uneasiness that partners with ignorance.

The Stigma of Ignorance:

Sometimes, there’s a self-degrading stigma attached to ignorance. It generates embarrassment within the person possessing it. Don’t allow that to happen to you. And don’t allow others to weaponize ignorance against you. Understand your uniqueness. Use that as a shield. Then, if you want to become more knowledgeable about a subject, do so because it’s your desire. Don’t let others control you through their ignorance of who you are.

Self-Esteem:

Your self-esteem may come into question when asked for wisdom on a topic you don’t know. Momentary fear may kick in, depending on the circumstances. That dilemma can cause you angst.

If you’re stupefied by a question, alter your self-perspective. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just don’t know. If the subject matter is important, you can acquire knowledge. Don’t let it mentally debilitate you.

Fear of Unknown:

Do you fear not knowing the answers to questions simply because you don’t know what’s being sought? There are times when you become mentally constipated because of what you believe others think of you. Note when that happens. Allay your emotions by thinking that no one knows everything – there are things the person posing questions don’t know. Plus, you give your mental power to others when you allow them to control your self-perception.

Perception of Peers:

You may become daunted by ignorance when considering what friends and associates think of you because you lack knowledge in a certain area. If they’re ‘real friends’, you should be able to express your ignorance without fear of the negative perception of rejection. If that’s a concern, you can always push-back by saying, please reduce my ignorance or reveal your own. No one can make you feel ignorant. Only you have that power. Since you control it, control its perception.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, ignorance can open the door to fear. And fear can throw your negotiation off kilter. By planning extensively for an upcoming negotiation, you can reduce fear – do so by reducing unknown aspects that might cause it to occur. That means, during the planning process, consider as many variables as possible. Plan for them and have strategies ready to deal with situations that might threaten your negotiation position. Being prepared will disperse fears of where you might unwantedly venture into the negotiation. You will also cast the demon of ignorance into the dungeons of anonymity … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #shame #ignorance #ignorant #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Scares You?

“Sometimes, your imagination scares you. To assess your fears, check your unchecked thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… The thought of that scared me. My focus was on what others would think if I failed.” An executive manager of a major international corporation spoke those words. I suggested that he shift his paradigm from thinking about failure, and what others would think, to one more positive.

Have you ever considered what scares you? While you might be frightened of some things, they may be the doorway that leads to greater opportunities. There are things that you should shy away from. Therefore, I’m not suggesting you go head-first into everything that scares you. Instead, reflect on the benefits that might reside within your fears.

Consider the following thoughts when assessing how, whether, and when you should embrace things that frightened you.

Identify what scares you:

Before you can address your fears, you must identify them. You should also identify why you’re lending legitimacy to them. In identifying them, note their origins. Do they stem for a hurt you experienced in the not too distant past, or do they stem from some further hidden source? The better you are at identifying the source of what scares you, the better you’ll be at assembling a plan to deal with those fears.

Assessment:

While assessing the source of your fears, assess if it’s something that you should rightfully be afraid of. Fear can serve as a warning. Thus, there are some things that you should avoid. In your assessment, label what’s real and what’s imagined when it comes to what scares you.

Imagination:

When we were kids, we dealt with things that frightened us by using imaginary forces. We even created imaginary friends. The point is, we used our mind to help us live in the reality we wanted for ourselves. We can still use our mind for that purpose. When confronting what scares you, imagine what will happen when you overcome your fear by addressing the thing that scares you. Imagine you’re receiving accolades for doing so. Now, how does that make you feel? It should make you feel good. After all, you’re only imagining it, which means, you’re in complete control … as you are always.

You can find motivation from the above thoughts and allow them to move you to action. Or, you can choose not to address your fears. But If you’re serious about achieving greater success in life, you must commit to challenging the things that jeopardize that success, that which scares you. After making that commitment, your life will instantly be on a straighter road to success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the fears of adopting one position versus another may cause you angst. But if you’ve considered the unexpected offers that might occur beforehand you will have planned on how to address them. That should allay your fear.

Nevertheless, if you’re caught by a scary situation, don’t show it through any body language and/or nonverbal signals (e.g. mouth agape, widened eyes). You don’t want the other negotiator to sense his momentary advantage. Instead, go into quandary body language display mode (e.g. hand on chin head cocked to one side, or chin resting in hand and on side of face). This action will give you time to think, while the other negotiator wonders what you’re thinking about. If you display a cunning smile while doing so, you may evoke fear in him.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #scare #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Really Want to Get Better?

“Better is, as better is defined. If you want to get better, first define it, then engage it. Learn from it. Then, repeat the process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really want to get better? If so, why? If not, why not? Seriously, some people are happy and satisfied with their station in life. They seek to avoid the challenges, tests, and ultimatums that life places before them. So, they sheepishly slink into the confines of what they perceive to be life’s sanctuaries. Thus, they don’t seek higher stations. Hopefully, that’s not you.

Here’s the point, and I don’t mean to be harsh. If you’re not growing in life, you’re dying. You may already be dead, just waiting for a place to happen. Don’t let that be you! As I state to a dear friend of mine in Australia, keep rising.

Plateau:

Some people plateau in life. They don’t realize when it occurs because they’re too busy living life. They drift on the melodies of life, seduced by its melodic tones. Meanwhile, life changes, be it through technology, relationships, etc., and some don’t note it. They run the risk of falling behind because they’re not staying abreast of the times that change brings. Don’t let that happen to you! Change with the times.

Define it:

To get better, you must know what better means. That means, you must define what it means to get better. While you can seek input from others, in the end, you must live the life you choose. Therefore, be mindful when accepting input. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

Perception:

Okay, you tried to reach a higher point in life, and you failed. First, you didn’t fail. You learned valuable lessons. What were those lessons? If for no other reason, learn from them, so you don’t repeat the worst of them.

Your perception of any aspect determines how you’ll feel about it. If you assign dread to it, you’ll be less likely to engage in it again. That should warrant your attention. Because, if something was calamitous, you can decide to avoid it. Or, you can enhance it by learning from it. The point is, you’ll make that decision anyway. Be aware when it occurs. You’ll be setting your life’s direction.

Once you define what better means and create procedures to achieve your goals, you’ll increase your chances of becoming better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

A negotiation is the exchange of thoughts to increase one’s value. Most of the time, that exchange occurs between different entities. But, in all cases, the negotiation process begins with you and your thoughts.

The better you can define what you want from a negotiation, the greater the chance you’ll have of achieving it. Thus, a lack of attention to your thoughts can leave you in a worse place than before the negotiation. I’m sure you would not define that as getting better.

Remember, always note the negotiation you have with yourself. By doing so, you’ll discover what’s important. That alone will put you on a better road to you getting better.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Better #Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Best Practices Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

Are You Afraid of Losing to Progress?

“If you fear losing what you’ve gained, you’ve already lost it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you think of progress, do you become afraid? Do you even consider what progress is and what it means to you? Progress will occur whether you’re afraid of it, don’t consider it, or choose to let it pass you by. It’s the one thing that’s constant in life. So, if you want to evolve in the ever-evolving environment that you’re in, you can do that by considering the following.

1. Define what progress means to you and why it has that meaning; you should realize that your definition will change over time. Recognize when those changes occur and what brought them about. Then, use markers to identify and measure how close you are to a goal. Make readjustments when they’re required. If you become apprehensive about making them or you do nothing to address them, consider whether you’re afraid of losing to progress. You may have a mental barrier that’s holding you back.

2. Ask yourself, when did you most aggressively seek progress? Why did you seek it? Other questions to ask are:

  • What changed in your life to cause you to seek progress?
  • How did you feel while you were going through what promoted the need for change, for progress?
  • What has change done for you?

3. What do you fear the most about progress? Is it change itself that causes angst? Other questions to ask are:

  • Are you fearful of leaving those you’ve known behind?
  • Are you concerned about where progress might lead you?
  • Will you regret not following the path of progress later in your life? If so, what does that thought do to you? How do you feel about it?
  • What has frustrated you the most about progress?

When you won’t move forward to embrace a goal, especially if it’s one that’s important to you, something’s holding you back. If you explore all realms of possibilities and you still can’t identify the silent hand that’s gripping you, you might be afraid of losing to progress. To test the theory, ask yourself the questions above. You’ll find answers to your dilemma in those questions. When all else fails let that be the last thought that you tackle. If fear is the culprit and you successfully combat it, you’ll slay that gobbling … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Fear prevents some negotiators from being more aggressive. Because of that, they’ll lack the drive to obtain more in a negotiation. While you should exercise caution in a negotiation, caution based on fear can be self-demeaning.

If you fear progress, due to the gains you’ve acquired in a negotiation, assess the mindset that’s motivating you. There are times when leaving too much on the negotiation table is just as bad as attempting to gain too much. In either case, you can appear to be inept. When you display that type of demeanor it can be the setup that signals the other negotiator to be more aggressive with you. That could also be what signals him to push you harder by seeking more concessions. And, that’s a position you don’t want to be in.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Do You Fear?

“Fear will masquerade as truth until it’s unmasked”. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you know what you’re most fearful of and why? Does fear debilitate you when you’d rather be less susceptible to it? When you find yourself in the clutches of fear, you need to know how to escape it. If not, it will leave you imprisoned and entrapped in a web of despair.

Consider the following the next time you feel fear sneaking up on you.

Inner Child:

There were lyrics to a song that went – ‘little child, running wild …’. All of us carry our inner child with us throughout our life. That inner child can be the source of fearful things you experienced in your formative years that should no longer hold sway over you.

In dealing with your inner child, realize that you’re no longer that person. You’ve evolved. Keep your inner child in check and you’ll be more adaptable to dealing with things that you fear.

Insecurities:

What beliefs temper your insecurities? You should know what they are, why they come into being, and what stimulates them to rise to your consciousness.

Before you can deal with any fears, you must know why they’re prevalent and what gave them life. Once you pinpoint that source, you’ll know to what degree the fear is real or imagined. You’ll also have a better handle on how to deal with them and keep them in check.

Times of Happiness:

During times of happiness, be grateful. Revel in your bliss. But, don’t relax too long. The world continuously evolves, which means you must evolve to stay abreast with the changes that occur in the world.

The point is, the more you recognize when you’re in a state of happiness, the more you’ll focus upon your good fortunes. Doing that will relieve hidden stress, and dissipate fear. That will allow you to experience a greater feeling of happiness. Isn’t that a better cycle to be in?

To enhance your life, know why and when fear becomes ignited in you. To combat it, focus on the times when you were happiest in life. Draw from the lessons learned during those times. Then, mentally summon those happier times to combat fear. By doing that, you’ll recognize when you’re in a good place in your life, and know how to best deal with fear when it comes at you … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

During a negotiation, you and the other negotiator will be motivated by gain and loss at different points in the negotiation. It behooves you to understand when either source of stimulus is present because you need to adopt different strategies to deal with that segment of the negotiation. As an example, the fear of loss can be a potent tool to employ against the other negotiator. Be judicious when doing that so it doesn’t backfire on you.

By taming fear and using it as a source of motivation in a negotiation, you’ll have a greater grasp of how to control its usage. That will place you in a powerful position throughout the negotiation.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #negotiator

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Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness

Ever Been Bullied? It Could Be Your Fault!

Wait, before you start sending hate mail, please hear me out.  As someone who was bullied for years, I learned to cope with the humiliation and despair, but always felt there was something “wrong” with me.  When other people wanted to make me feel better they would almost always say the same thing, “Oh honey, there is nothing wrong with you, those kids are just mean…it’s not your fault…they are jealous of you.”  I was a sweet and loving kid that would never do anything to hurt someone.  So, it was easy to understand that it wasn’t my fault, but it was much harder for me to believe there wasn’t something wrong with me.  Oh, and jealous?  Jealous of what??  Jealous of feeling less?  Jealous of feeling ugly and rejected?  Jealous of being laughed at by bystanders that watched and did nothing?  Jealous of being scared out of my wits to go on the playground every day?  That statement “they’re just jealous of you” was just a straight up lie!  Don’t ever say that to someone being bullied!

If you have ever been bullied, you understand what I am talking about right now.  You didn’t want to hear another rousing encouragement attempt, no matter how sweet it is that they tried.  You wanted to know what was wrong with you that would make people treat you that way!  Well, I am here to tell you that there was, and maybe IS, something wrong with you that is causing all the bullying, but it may not be what you think.

Look at your life and ask yourself if the same type of people keep showing up.  I am going to share some traits and see if this describes those people that seem to latch on to you.

  • Has no patience with “stupid” people and at times tries to make you feel stupid
  • May complain about a clumsy waitress and be rude when not waited upon properly
  • Always finds a way to bring the conversation back to themselves
  • Has a constant need to be admired and respected, almost demanding of it
  • They don’t seem to have any kind of empathy toward “weaker” people
  • Always must be right and has a very difficult time believing they are wrong
  • Must always be the center of attention and can be quite charming

Think through your life and imagine the people that bullied you.  Did they have any of these traits?  Can you identify anyone in your life that you are currently dealing with that meets more than a few of these traits?

Now I want to ask you about your own personal traits.  Do you have any of the following traits?

  • Get overwhelmed when there are a lot of people around you
  • If there is someone angry in the room, you feel like any minute it will be turned toward you
  • When talking with someone new, you feel like they are going to “figure you out?”, so you keep a wall up and feel awkward
  • When you are around sad people, you can feel yourself getting depressed yourself
  • It is difficult for you to watch someone doing something embarrassing and you can feel panicked for them

Now, I know that I can’t fix everyone’s issues with this article, but what I hope to do is send you on a journey of understanding.  I believe that if you can put all the pieces together, life could begin to make more sense to you.  Even if you have never been bullied before, what I am about to share could change your life!

Every single one of us, broken down to our smallest particle, is made of energy.  We learned it in science class as an elementary student.  Protons, neutrons, electrons, you remember those elements, don’t you?  You and I are made of these elements.  It has been proven scientifically that even our thoughts have energy.  It can be physically measured!  Now I am going to share a term that you may or may not have heard of that has gotten a lot of attention over the last ten years.  It is called The Law of Attraction and it was brought into the light by a cheesy movie called “The Secret”.  It was mainly focused on getting rich and learning to get everything you ever dreamed of by simply thinking of it and feeling strongly about it as you thought about it.  That is the simple message, but most people think it’s a bunch of bull and would never stick with it long enough to see anything come to pass as the movie would suggest.  If it was true that we could just think it and it will happen, then everyone would win the lottery, be driving Lamborghinis, and be on the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!  Right?  Well, even though there are a lot of holes in the movie, the Law of Attraction has merit and is worth looking deeper into to gain understanding of the world around us.

So, back to bullying and how it could be your fault.  The traits we identified earlier are the traits of people on opposite ends of the energy spectrum.  The first guy, who always must be respected and admired and seems to have no empathy toward others, is considered a “narcissist” or someone with narcissistic tendencies.  The second guy, who is uncomfortable around lots of people or becomes panicked when someone else is being embarrassed or harassed is called an “Empath” or “highly sensitive”.  People can fall anywhere on the energy scale, but the two described above are the extremes on both ends.  If you are a Sci-Fi nerd like me, it can be looked at as “the dark side” or “the force”.  Those that are on the dark side can appear to be good, but the energy they draw from is extremely negative and self-serving.  Those who have the force has potential for great power for good in the world and have an almost magical sense of feeling the energies around them.  Unfortunately, like in Star Wars, people who once were driven by the force can turn to the dark side when they are overwhelmed by the negative energy.  They can become cynical, negative, and hateful, even though they hold the power to be extremely positive and lift up the people around them.  Once the force is understood and these empaths begin to control it, they can become the light in the room instead of feeling awkward.  They can instantly feel the pain the people around them are feeling and pull them out of the darkness!

So what does this have to do with bullying?  I believe that most children that are being bullied are those meant to bring good to the world.  They have a special gift that God gave them that is not only extremely special, but can be used to bring about amazing change to the world around them!  When told “it isn’t your fault”, they know intuitively that this response is not exactly true.  While they can reason that they haven’t done anything to bring it on, they know that something is wrong with them and it is happening because of them.  It took me years to put the pieces together and understand the power I have and the reasons why I was bullied as a child and felt so uncomfortable around people.  I didn’t understand that I was special or had any kind of power.  I somehow had the ability to allow the bullying to “pass through me” and still love the person doing the bullying, but it still played havoc on my mind.  I still didn’t understand why!  There were times growing up that I was confident and felt the power, but as soon as I felt like something good was happening, it would be squashed by someone attacking me and throwing negativity on me.  I felt many times like a wounded dog about to be torn apart by the pack.  So, I learned to become numb and allow people to treat me badly, but cope with it.  My power for doing good was kept within the walls of my identity as a person not allowed to become happy.

If you have ever been bullied, then you are probably identifying with me right now.  That is a good thing, because I am here to tell you that you have something very special that needs to be understood and cultivated.  You have an ability to do great good and the reason all of this has been happening to you is because you draw people from the opposite end of the spectrum into your life.  These narcissists lack empathy and it is true that opposites attract in this case.  They love to attach themselves to you in some way to literally draw the energy out of you!  They want to make you feel less, so they can feel superior!

Can you see it?  I don’t know where you are in your life right now, but I am imagining that the people reading this article will range from those who were never bullied that are angry at my title to those that were intrigued or maybe even excited that somebody finally said it.  You may have already been pulled over to the dark side and feel like you have already completely lost your mind.  To this person I want to say that it is not too late to stop being controlled by the negativity that bombarded you and continues to be drawn into your life.  The great thing about the Law of Attraction is that you can choose to end the negativity and start moving in the other direction.  You can learn to remove those thought patterns that keep drawing more junk into your life and start seeing a brighter future.  It won’t happen overnight as the movie might suggest, but if you build one block at a time and realize how special you are, then it can happen over time.  For some, it may happen very quickly and you will learn to walk freely in your newly found power!

If this article is resonating with you, then I would encourage you to study The Law of Attraction and the personalities on the energy spectrum.  Specifically study the “Empath” and the “Narcissist” and allow God to direct you back into what He intended for you.  Although you may not know what it is yet, I can tell you without question that you have a great purpose to change the world around you in a positive way.  Like Luke Skywalker, you will bring balance to the force and maybe even free a Darth Vader or two!