“5 Big Mistakes Bad Negotiators Absolutely Make When They Negotiate”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Do you consider yourself a good or bad negotiator, or somewhere in between? What separates good and bad negotiators during negotiations is their questions, thought processes, and how they control their discussions. And throughout the negotiation proceedings, there are five big mistakes bad negotiators make that rob them of more significant negotiation outcomes.
The following are five egregious mistakes bad negotiators make and how you can avoid them to enhance your negotiation outcomes.
“Muddy Waters – Advice On How To Actually Win Negotiations Faster”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Are you a damn imbecile? Do you actually want to win negotiations? The organization’s president, whose team was engaged in a negotiation that would determine the company’s fate, asked his lead negotiator those questions. The president was fuming! And rightfully so, a lot was riding on the outcome of the negotiation. And the lead negotiator had allowed his team to be demeaned, outmaneuvered, and bullied by the opposition.
When was the last time you were either demeaned, outmaneuvered, or bullied during negotiations? I ask because one of those three aspects has occurred to everyone when negotiating at some point in their life.
But after you use the following information in your negotiations, you will be armed with insights that will allow you to win more of your bargaining sessions.
“A good magician uses trap doors to disappear things. A good negotiator uses them to disappear the opponent’s opportunities.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“Avoid 7 Trap Doors – Ultimate Advice On How To Win More Negotiations”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Everyone is vulnerable to falling prey to negotiation traps at some point in negotiations. Even when some negotiators are aware of the potential danger in negotiation traps, some do not recognize the signs. Thus, they know not how to avoid the traps that lead to entrapment in negotiations.
What follows are seven traps to avoid in your negotiations. Not heeding the following insights will make the number 7 unlucky for you in your talks.
It’s normal — and even healthy — to treat children differently. After all, they’re each their own individual person with unique needs. But how can you honor their individuality without making it seem like you’re playing favorites?
The Dos and Dont’s: When You Should Treat Your Kids Differently — and When You Shouldn’t
As a mother myself, I know that YOU know you’re not actually playing favorites. Many factors contribute to our daily interactions with our kids: their personality, age, maturity level, even their birth order!
Consider the experience of a first-born child. They’re brought into the world by parents who look at them like deer in headlights — completely inexperienced when it comes to raising a baby. This child may recall being the center of attention, with Mom and Dad anxiously monitoring their every move.
The second-born child, on the other hand, will probably have a different experience — in large part because their parents feel more confident and at ease the second time around.
The truth is, no two children experience the same family in the same way.And no parent experiences each child the same way either! Each kid is unique — and their individuality is precisely why we can’t treat them the same way all the time.
When considering your kids’ individual needs, DO treat them differently according to:
Personality. You can’t expect an introverted child to have the same hobbies or activities as an extroverted child. Encourage your kid to identify what interests them and be supportive of what they choose — whether it’s sports, ballet, drama, painting, or even reading quietly by themselves.
Tailor your approach even when prodding your children to make friends. An introverted child may be more comfortable with a one-on-one playdate, while an extroverted child might enjoy group activities.
Age. It’s normal for a younger child to complain when their older sibling is allowed to do something they’re not. But as the parent, it’s important to stand your ground about what’s developmentally appropriate for each kid.
Be firm but empathetic about why, as a 7-year-old, your kid can’t drink coffee or go to the mall on their own. Acknowledge their frustration and let them know you understand their disappointment. That acknowledgement will help them release the negative emotion and let the issue go.
Special needs. If your kid has a learning condition, allergies, or any type of special needs, by all means cater to them. Encourage their siblings to practice being considerate and supportive of each other’s special needs, too. If one child is allergic to nuts, for example, ask your other children to be selective about the food they share at home and have alternative food options their sibling can eat.
That said, don’t forget to give time and attention to the kid who doesn’t have special needs. Some children are so good at being the “strong, supportive sibling” that they don’t know how to ask for help from their parents when they need it. So be proactive about checking in with them!
Maturity level. Not all kids have the same level of maturity at ages 5, 10, 15. Some children are more mature than others, and should be treated accordingly to nurture their autonomy and independence. Still, navigating these considerations can be difficult for parents, as I learned firsthand.
When my daughter Pia was in 6th grade and we were living in Hong Kong, I left for an extended work trip. Upon my return, I found out that Pia had started taking taxis on her own. My husband was comfortable with this milestone, but boy was I unprepared!
We ended up resolving this conflict through effective communication. The truth of the matter was that Pia was ready and responsible for that level of independence. Luckily, my daughter understood that it was me who had a problem with fear, worry, and letting go. She supported my needs and came to a compromise by agreeing to text me her whereabouts whenever she took a taxi on her own.
When considering your kids’ individual needs, DON’T treat them differently when it comes to:
Implementing value systems. Your expectations for behavior and responsibilities should be consistent among all your children. Let your kids know that everyone is expected to be kind, considerate, and helpful — inside and outside the house. No exceptions.
Showing appreciation. Whether you’re attending your daughter’s field hockey game or your son’s piano recital, be their biggest cheerleader. Show them you’re proud of who they are and how they choose to express themselves.
Spending quality time. It’s important to spend quality bonding time alone with each child. Schedule a “Mommy/Daddy and Me” time at least once a month with your kids — and hold that time sacred and immovable.
Treating your kids differently doesn’t mean you’re playing favorites. It means you respect your children as individuals with varied needs and desires.
Explain to your kids why they require different treatment from you at times. But let them know that when it comes to the question of who your favorite is, the answer is “no one” — because you love them equally.
“To make better decisions know the process of better decision making.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“Make Better Decisions How To Increase Negotiation Opportunities”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Every day of your life, you make decisions. And how you make decisions determines the quality of life you live and the opportunities that come from them. But there are times when you need to make better decisions, such as during negotiations, to have opportunities reveal themselves. Thus, even when you are engaged in talks with friends, loved ones, or work associates, you need to make better decisions to increase negotiation opportunities. And here is how to make better decisions by using different techniques and strategies.
“To prevent sabotage from killing negotiations, know the actions of saboteurs.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“How To Absolutely Stop Agony And Sabotage From Killing Negotiations”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
He thought to himself; this negotiation is becoming painful. If I do not do something to stop the agony, this negotiation will be doomed to failure. He reflected on ways of killing negotiations and the impact that might have on future talks. After all, he was a high-profile negotiator, one respected in his field for his expertise. Thus, he knew he had to stop the agony from killing the negotiation, but he lamented the perils of doing so.
When you are in negotiations fraught with challenges that cause you to become filled with dismay, how do you handle those situations? Negotiations can become dicey when indecision becomes the source of a lack of direction. But you can forge forward and stop the agony that stems from contemplating the killing of negotiations. The following is a roadmap of how to do that.
What is your vision for the future of your franchise? Could it be something like one of these?
You have built a successful business of your own, and now you want to see it become a franchise and bring success to other people.
You have created a product or service that has the potential to change the world, and you want to put the power of a franchise behind it.
You want to make an inspiring contribution to improving people’s lives with a franchise that centers on health, exercise, and nutrition.
You want to build a blockbuster franchise that will provide long-term security to your family.
Whatever your dream is for your franchise, I want to tell you a secret . . .
You are going to achieve that dream by training people
Training is the secret. It alone will empower your franchise to achieve critical building-block goals like these:
Grow more quickly by improving employee performance in critical functions.
Build profits by increasing sales, as measured by average sale size, closing rates, and repeat business.
Satisfy customers, as evaluated by your Net Promoter Score and other measures.
Cultivate an inspiring brand that communicates your unique promise and helps it take life in the marketplace.
Create a company that is known for customer and employee safety.
Sell more franchises,because potential buyers want the security of joining a franchise that offers training that assures their success.
Open new franchise locations more efficiently and quickly, and with greater success.
Sell more by learning to use the marketing and advertising tools that your franchise provides.
How Can You Develop and Deliver Training that Hits those Goals?
Identify the jobs and functions that will bring you the biggest payback if you train the people who perform them. Consider working with a team of experienced training designers who know what kind of training will improve those functions, and who also know how to deliver it.
But in this article, I would like to focus on another critical strategy that has the potential to make your franchise vision take flight . . .
Use a modern Learning Management System (LMS)
A full-featured LMS lets you take control of your training processes in ways that were impossible only a few short years ago. It puts you in control of what is happening in your franchise-wide training by allowing you instant access to a range of statistics like these:
Training penetration How many of your employees in each location have started training programs? How many of them have completed training?
Training participation How many employees do you have who are taking training, how many of them have completed certification programs, and which of those employees are contributing most to sales and profits?
Training effectiveness Which of your training programs is creating the greatest levels of improvement in employee performance, which can be measured by online customer reviews, repeat business, and other measurables?
Training delivery What percentage of employees in every location are taking live training, computerized training in your company training center, or training on their phones? Which of those groups is most likely to complete training and achieve measurable performance improvements?
Training’s impact on the bottom line Which of your training programs are increasing sales and profits in locations where they have been used . . . and which are not?
If you measure factors like those before and after training, you can gain a deeper understanding of the impact that your training is having on your profits and operations.
Your LMS Can Energize Communications Too
Your LMS can automate training in amazing ways, offering new communications options that can include:
Short weekly or monthly podcasts of key information that are emailed to all current and potential franchisees.
Emails that remind employees to use the skills they learned in their training.
Fun games that work like Jeopardy and other popular game shows that are emailed to all current and potential franchisees.
Training Is the Secret to Making Your Vision Come to Life
There is no mistake about it . . . training is the key to making your dream take life in the real world. Put the power of a modern LMS to work for you and see how high it can fly.
About Evan Hackel
Evan Hackel is a 35-year franchising veteran as both a franchisor and franchisee. He is CEO of Tortal Training, a leading training development company, and principal of Ingage Consulting. He is a speaker, hosts “Training Unleashed,” a podcast covering training for business, and author of Ingaging Leadership. To hire Evan as a speaker, visitevanspeaksfranchising.com.Follow @ehackel or call 781-820-7609. Why not have Evan Hackel address your group about franchising success?
“Attention, like clouds, can be silently ominous. And that is more so when the lack of attentiveness in a negotiation cloud one’s thinking.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“Negotiation Attention How To Capture And Maintain It For More Quicker Wins”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Aha, yep, okay, go on, continue – those were the utterances of the opposing negotiator as he was half-listening to what the other negotiator was saying. That occurred during a critical part of the negotiation. Upon hearing his responses, she became fearful. She thought, he is not paying attention to me, but I will plow forward.
Later in the negotiation, she found her fears warranted and realized she had made a big mistake by continuing while her counterpart was listening with divided attention. But by that time, the negotiation had strowed scarily close to an impasse. She wondered if it was too late to save the negotiation? She mused. What should I have done to be sure I had his attention?
When was the last time you caught your opposite negotiation partner half-listening to you – not giving you or your offers the deserved attention needed to progress the negotiation? How did you feel when you reached a point in the talks and realized essential things you had said were absent from the other negotiator’s memory?
Not maintaining the full attention of your counterpart can be a failure’s starting point in a negotiation. But you can avert that from occurring in your future talks. And here is how to do that.
One of the hardest things about parenthood is letting kids learn on their own without stepping in to “rescue” them.
If you’ve. . .
peeled yourself away from your child’s clinging embrace on the first day of school
let them cut their own bangs when you knew it would be disastrous
helped your doctor hold your baby firmly during vaccination
. . . then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
There’s nothing worse than seeing our children struggle. There’s even a scientific reason as to why adults find it next to impossible to ignore a child’s cry.
A study from the University of Oxford found that the adult brain is hard-wired to respond to the sound of a baby crying—whether or not they’re the parents. If perfect strangers can have a visceral reaction to a child in need, of course it’s that much harder for parents and caregivers.
But perhaps the hardest part of all is resisting the urge to step in like superheroes at the first sign of distress. When we’re too quick to rescue our kids from every challenge they face, we hamper their growth and independent learning while denying them the self-confidence that autonomous achievement can bring.
I talk about resisting the urge to take over for our kids in this short video:
So next time your kid is upset over a math assignment, a misunderstanding with a friend, or indecision over which college to attend, resist the urge to swoop in and take over with a solution.
Talk to them, listen to them, soothe their anxiety, and offer advice—then step back and let them handle it on their own.
Parents, I feel your pain in seeing your kids struggle! But sometimes good parenting means letting them fall so that we can see them rise up and triumph.
Love and Blessings,
Katherine
P.S. I did a brief segment on WUSA 9 last month! For tips on how to manage your and your family’s mental health, watch here.
“Fire warms, but it also burns. Like fire, the more you control a negotiation, the less likely you are to get burned.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (click to Tweet)
“To Win More Negotiations Faster Know How To Use Fire”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Fire! What just went through your mind? If you had been in particular environments, hearing that word would have captured your attention immediately. And that is what happens in negotiations when something occurs that grabs your attention. It can spellbind you. And therein lies the power of capturing a negotiator’s attention. Thus, fire, a metaphor in this case for grabbing a negotiator’s attention, becomes a powerful tool you can use to win more negotiations faster. Here is how to do that.
Click here to discover how you can increase your negotiation efforts!
