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After That, Then What?

“Action without thought is like a squirrel driving a car. It’s nonsensical.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Why did you do that? Were you aware of what you were doing? Those may be the questions that others ask you when you’ve engaged in senseless behavior. Most of the time the answer to the questions are, I don’t know; I guess I wasn’t thinking. To avoid senseless behavior ask yourself, after that, then what.

Thinking ahead:

Before you engage in activities, do you think of the consequences that might occur as the result of those actions? Most people are aware that there’s a reaction for every action. Some people forget that truism. And, sometimes forgetting it leads to unexpected circumstances. Don’t let that happen to you. Before engaging in a deed, to be more aware of what might happen after it, during the decision-making process, ask yourself, after that, then what.

Understanding your mindset:

At different stages of the day, your decision-making process shifts. That’s because, as things happen throughout the day, the accumulation of the day’s activities causes you to alter your perspective. As an example, if someone has angered or vehemently challenged you about a point, you’ll be more likely to refudiate someone else that attempts to convey the same sentiment. Thus, you should always be aware of the mindset you possess when making decisions and what has occurred to influence your thoughts.

Timing:

When considering, after that, then what, be thoughtful about the timing of your decisions. Sometimes, you’ll have the power to bring your decision to fruition at that moment, other times you won’t. Thus, depending on the importance of the decision, it may behoove you to delay its implementation until a more favorable time.

Remember, decisions have two spectrums, haste makes waste and, he who waits too long loses opportunities. Thus, it may befit you to balance those spectrums on the pendulum of time.

If you want to avoid taking two steps forward and one step back in your life, before engaging in a decision, make sure you engage in, after that, then what thinking. Your decision will lead to an action. That action will lead in one direction versus another. If you don’t want to find yourself in a desolate place tomorrow, be more aware of the decisions you make today … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Sometimes, offers and counteroffers flow quickly during a negotiation. Quick responses can lead to unwanted positions and disadvantage your standing. To sustain your negotiation efforts and enhance your chances of having a winning outcome, be mindful of where every concession and offer may lead. If you’re astute, you can use the, ‘answering a question with a question’ tactic to gain information (e.g. what do you mean? what do you think I mean?). That’s also a tactic you can employ to slow the other negotiator’s attacks when he’s bombarding you with questions. To insulate yourself even more from his bombarding, ask yourself, after that, then what.

Suffice it to say, when you’re in the heat of a negotiation, the way to ensure that you don’t act too hastily is to always ask, after that, then what. Doing that will lessen the chances of you wandering into a negotiation minefield. It will also allow you to maintain greater control of the other negotiator, yourself, and the negotiation.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mind #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Negotiator – Five Crazy Ways to Prevent Being Burned by a Bully

“To beat a bully, defeat his sources of power.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Dealing with a bully can be daunting, exhausting, and frustrating. It can leave you in a state of anxiety and devoured by stress. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Observe the following 5 crazy ways to prevent being burned by a bully when negotiating.

Three bully types:

  • Hard Core:

This bully type is someone who likely had psychological challenges as a child. He wants the respect and acknowledgment that he’s someone to reckon with.

  • Middle Core:

This individual is someone whose bullying is based on circumstances. While all bullies seek to maximize their efforts based on situational opportunities, this bully type will seek to escalate his situations if giving the chance to do so to become a hard core bully.

  • Soft Core:

A soft core bully is one that’s classified as a bully in training. He’s usually someone that’s enticed into doing things to prove himself to those from whom he seeks approval. He’s what’s known as a useful idiot in intelligence parlance.

It’s to your advantage to know the bully type that you’re dealing with.

Do a good deed:

Most bullies wear their emotions on their sleeves. They want others to like and appreciate them. Studies have indicated, when people are in a positive frame of mind, they’re more receptive to your thoughts and ideas.

If you commit a good deed for a bully before the negotiation, that could endear you to him, which may lead to him having a more positive perspective of you. If so, he may be lax when it comes to emploring bullying tactics against you during the negotiation. As in all cases when dealing with a bully, you should be mindful of how he might react as the result of you doing good deeds for him. Some bullies will interpret such actions as a green light to push you harder.

Group threat:

A group threat can be an assembly of others you amass to threaten the bully or his supporters. In either case, the group you assemble should be perceived as a formidable force that the bully or his followers will have to contend with if he attempts to bully you. It should also be a force that the bully perceives as being threatening to his standing and wellbeing.

Playing field:

Don’t play on the bully’s field. That means, when negotiating with a bully, do so on your own terms. Don’t allow him to dictate where and when the negotiation will occur. If he says, ‘x’, you say, ‘y’. Bullies like tough guys. Show him that’s who you are by the actions you engage in.

Scorched earth:

There will be times when you must stand up to a bully to show him how tough you are. Sometimes, you’ll have to take that to the extreme.

A scorched earth approach to negotiation is one way to display that extreme. It entails positioning yourself as someone that will ‘burn down everything’ if you don’t get your way. After positioning yourself as such, make him fight for every concession you grant him. You want him to feel like he’s really been in a battle during the negotiation. In times of perceived peace, make him wish he’d prepared for war.

Some of the above strategies will work with some bullies and some won’t. By knowing the type of bully you’re dealing with, you’ll have a better idea of how you can prevent him from burning you. Thus, by implementing the strategies above, you’ll enhance your negotiation position. You’ll also be better prepared to thwart the efforts of a bully … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Who’s Blocking Your Sun?

“When your sun is being blocked, move.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Life is going along nicely for you and then something happens. The sun that has been brightening and serving as a source of warmth in your life is suddenly gone. It’s then that you wonder, who’s blocking your sun.

The blocking of your sun is a metaphor for anything or anyone that disturbs the calm, the flow of success, or state of near bliss that you’re experiencing. Disruption occurs in everyone’s life. It’s what you do during such times that will determine what occurs next in your life.

So, what do you do when someone disrupts your life, block your sun? At what point do you begin to create strategies to alleviate the growing concern about needing to change the direction of your life?

Here are a few signs that might alert you to a coming eclipse, the blocking of your sun.

  • Your life appears to be perfect, or at least as perfect as it has been for some time. You begin to think, “I know what comes next. Things are too good. Bad times must be ahead.”
  • “I can’t believe I just got that promotion, that raise, that client! These are fantastic times. I’d better enjoy this while it last. Before long, I’ll be back in the hunt for the joy I’m experiencing.”
  • How about this one – “I can’t believe things aren’t getting better. How much longer can I stand this?”

In every situation above, your thoughts led to the perception that things were going to change. Even when you question how long a bad situation was going to last, your thoughts were exploring the possibility of calamitous times ahead.

Here’s the point. Your thoughts lead to your actions. Thus, what you focus on becomes the driving force that determines the direction you’ll take in your life. So, if you focus on negative occurrences, you shouldn’t be surprised when negative things occur in your life. After all, you’re the one that summoned them.

When you’re unsure of an outcome, focus on the positive aspect. Since you don’t know what that outcome might be, focusing on the possibility of it being positive will relieve the degree of stress that might occur from focusing on the negative aspect of it. Sure, you should consider the possibility of a negative outcome. Prepare for it but don’t dwell on it. Once you’ve prepared a plan, move on. Let your mind rest in peace knowing that you’re ready for what might come your way.

Someone or something will always attempt to block your sun. But you don’t have to support the effort. Keep a strong mind with a strong mental disposition and even when the clouds start to gather, you’ll have the mental fortitude to turn those gray skies to blue. You’ll prevent your sun from being blocked … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Unanticipated challenges occur in every negotiation. When that happens, don’t fret. Even if you’ve prepared for the unexpected and the unexpected occurs, don’t fret. Worst-case scenario, call a time out; get away from the negotiation table. There’s a lesson to learn. That lesson will be of benefit in the future. By adopting that mindset, you should be able to allay your emotional state of mind. That should lead you back to a more rational thought process. In so doing, it will lead you to a path of clearer thinking.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Block #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Negotiator Win: Know How to Turn Weakness to Power

“Weakness, like power, is perceptional. Knowing when to display one can expose the other.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Have you ever employed the initial appearance of weakness as a tactic in a negotiation? It can be a great way to gather valuable information. When the other negotiator sees you in a weakened position, that’s the time when you can turn your perceived weakness into a source of power. Observe the following to do so.

The Opening – Setting the Stage:

To set yourself up to be perceived as weak, consider the following strategies.

  • At the opening of the negotiation, offer a weak handshake; this positioning is enhanced by allowing your hand to be on the bottom of the handshake (i.e. the other negotiator’s hand on top of yours). That will subliminally signal subjugation on your part.
  • Project a sense of slowness to grasp points. Don’t overplay your hand. Remember, you’re playing the role of someone that’s not sure of himself.
  • Allow yourself to be maneuvered by making concessions quickly when doing so is not detrimental to your position.
  • Refer to having to consult a higher authority when pushed too hard for a concession; that’ll convey a sense of powerlessness.
  • While engaging in the processes above, seek to uncover the other negotiator’s source(s) of power. You can use that as leverage against him later in the negotiation.

Mid Game – The Turn:

This is the point at which your demeanor transformation begins.

  • Know the strength of your resources compared to your opponent. That will be your source of power. You can use it as leverage during the negotiation to thwart his efforts.
  • During the negotiation, be prepared to refer to a higher authority that trumpets the other negotiator (e.g. him – we reached a multimillion-dollar deal with company x last year, you – we know that and they’re talking with us this year; I guess they didn’t like the results of your deal.)
  • Create a false sense of value with red herrings as chits that you can trade later for items and concessions of importance.

End Game – The Closing:

This is the time you employ tactics that display, you’re no longer a weakling.

  • Begin to use the red herrings you set up in the prior phase to enhance your negotiation position. Be stubbornly diligent when making concessions at this point. Your efforts should send a subliminal message that indicates, you’re going to be a tough negotiator from this point on.
  • Once you’ve engaged in the strategies above, be cautious. You will have transformed yourself from the weakling you initially appeared to be into a titan. The other negotiator will realize that he’s dealing with someone that’s more astute than he originally thought. That will cause him to raise his guard. He’ll also be seeking ways to adjust his negotiation strategies to match his new reality.

The timeframe and phases mentioned above still have to be accompanied with the negotiation strategies that are appropriate for the type of negotiation you’re in. Thus, the outline above should serve as a foundation to which you can add more specifics steps to fit your situation. By using this outline, you’ll be well on your way to creating a roadmap that leads to more successful negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Are You Being Manipulated?

“Manipulation is a means to an end. If you don’t like what may lie at that end, control the means.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Everyone’s manipulated. Are you aware when it happens to you? If you know when it’s occurring, how does it feel? Sometimes, when people knowingly allow others to manipulate them, their mind becomes susceptible to being tranquil. Without knowing it, they become more vulnerable to manipulation. Are you aware when you’re in such a state?

“She said she was waiting for me. So, I sped up and a cop stopped me for speeding. When I arrived at the meeting location, I discovered she wasn’t there. She wanted me to think she’d arrived. I realized she’d manipulated me. The cost of that manipulation could have been a speeding ticket had the officer given me one; fortunately, he let me go with a warning.” Those were the solemn words of an account manager to his business associates about how he’d been manipulated.

Every day of your life, you’re manipulated. To control the degree that you’re manipulated, take note …

The degree of manipulation:

The more desperate someone becomes to reach a goal, the more irrational their efforts may appear to obtain it. Note the ratcheting degree of their efforts. Heightened attempts to manipulate you may occur during such times. If someone appears to border on irrationality, intensify your sense of awareness. It’s also the time that you might be most vulnerable to being manipulated, due to a proposal appearing too good to be true. Raise your guard higher and be mindful of your thought process during such times to ward off manipulative tactics.

Understand the intent of manipulation:

There are different forms of manipulation. Thus, the word ‘manipulate’ does not necessarily have to convey a negative sentiment. There are good forms of manipulation (e.g. keeping you from harm’s way). Thus, you should assess if the attempt to manipulate you is for your betterment or detriment.

If attempts to improve your plight are made through disguised means, you should be aware of such tactics even though they’re not as potentially damaging as those that might be applied for nefarious purposes. The point is, someone is still attempting to manipulate you, which means they’re trying to control you. For better or worse, you should always maintain control of yourself. Even if you wish to relinquish control, you’re the one in control of that decision.

The greater your understanding of someone’s manipulation intent, the more understanding you’ll possess about the efforts and where such is attempting to lead you. If you don’t wish to go there, don’t allow the manipulation to continue.

Someone attempts to manipulate you every day. You can control their efforts by controlling yourself. Once you do, you’ll exert greater control over your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Manipulation occurs in every negotiation. You and the opposing negotiator engage in it to alter the other’s perspective. The more insight you have about his goal for the negotiation and the strategies he might employ to obtain it, the greater insight you’ll have about the manipulative tactics he’ll employ to reach it. That will give you a mental form of protection, which should allow you to be more understanding of how to control his efforts. In so doing, keep your emotions in check. That’ll lead you to even greater control of the negotiation. To control your emotions, remember, you’re attempting to do the same thing to him that he’s attempting to do to you.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Manipulation #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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How to Unlock Your Imagination and Win More Negotiations

“To enhance your imagination, don’t shackle it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To win more negotiations, you must know how to unlock your imagination. It’s your imagination that will determine how well you do in the negotiation.

As a child, your imagination was limitless and boundless. You could obtain and achieve anything that your imagination could conceive. No matter what it was, all you had to do was imagine it and it became your reality.

You can capture that same sensation when negotiating by using the following insights to heighten your imagination. The heightening of those senses will lead to more winning negotiations.

Know how you think:

When addressing your reasoning skills, do you note if it’s sequential or random; a person with high sequential reasoning skills is better equipped to create a systematic series of actions directed to a specific outcome. You should be aware of the thought process you engage in to maximize your efforts. Doing so will allow you to see the gaps in your imagination, which in turn can lead to heightening your thought process.

Know your senses:

Are you more visual, kinesthetic, or auditory? The answer is dependent on the environment and circumstances. So, how does the environment impact your thoughts? And, in what situations are you guided by one sense versus another? Again, to engage your imagination more effectively, you need to be aware of what and how to ignite it. Having that information will be the key that brings your imagination to life.

Before you can explore the depths of your imagination, you must know how to reach it. Knowing the answers to the questions above will be the conductor that directs you on the path to that opening.

To enhance your imagination process:

Don’t be restrictive with your thoughts. That means, be willing to consider the inconceivable.

Mix elements of your thoughts that may appear not to be related. Even when thinking disparate thoughts, there may be connecting threads that lead to deeper contemplation. Your imagination will reside in that place.

Converse with selected people in your circle that can help you delve deeper in thought.

Heighten your emotional sense of awareness. The more you’re aware of your emotions, the greater the opportunity to control them. Controlling them allows you to alter your perspective, which can lead to an enhanced imagination.

Meditate – Sometimes, your mind becomes so encircled by negative thoughts that you can’t think succinctly. During such times, if you’re at the negotiation table, call a timeout, remove yourself from the table and meditate. Meditation will slow your thought process and allow you to relieve the stress that comes from negative thoughts. Once you feel a sense of serenity, consider sublimating the sublime where your thought process is concerned.

Watch the meaning you assign to an outcome. If you suspect that it will be negative, your thoughts will flow in that direction. Your mind will enter a different thought process than if you’d considered the outcome to be positive. When you’re not sure of an outcome, consider the possibility of it turning out negatively or positively. Prepare for the worse, but don’t dwell on it. Think about the way you think.

When you sense you’re in a negotiation position that generates angst, use the strategies above to unlock your imagination. By unleashing that inner power, you’ll begin to think in a manner that’s more progressive towards winning the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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How Do You View Your Time?

“The agency of time is an equal factor for everyone. To maximize time, be wise about how you view and use it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

What’s your experience with time? How do you view it? Why is it that time appears to move slowly and at other times it appears to move much faster? There’s no secret about the answer. It’s what you do with your time and the perspective you have of it that makes it appear to pulsate.

This will take forever:

Have you observed how long a task takes when you think it’s going to take a longtime? Sometimes, it doesn’t take as long as you expected. When completed, you feel good and think, that didn’t take that long after all. More then likely, you feel good about your accomplishment and the perspective you have of time.

At other times, the task takes significantly longer than anticipated. You encounter impediments that you’d not considered. You become frustrated! In some cases, you pursue the task to completion. At other times, you surrender to what you perceive to be inevitable and throw in the towel.

What’s the end differences? The differences lie in the perception you had before you engaged in the task, what you experienced while addressing it and its outcome. Be mindful of that because it’ll shape your outlook when assessing future task.

I’m stuck:

Do You find yourself doing the same things repeatedly because you’re constantly relearning the same lessons? Do you see your goals moving further away as you attempt to achieve them? For you, time may seem to be a whirling mass that’s sucking you into a vortex. You’re in a rut!

Consider how you might improve your plight and develop a plan to do so. Then, engage your plan and observe the benefits derived from it. If they don’t meet your expectations, modify the plan. Be mindful of how you’re viewing the time spent when doing so. That will impact the view you have about your degree of success.

In the zone:

When you experience happiness, you experience the sensation of euphoria. When you experience prolonged happiness, that transcends into a higher sense of euphoria. It’s likened to being ‘in the zone’, a mental place that eclipses the limits of thought and time. What do you do to experience that sensation? Note what it is and when it occurs, because the more you replicate it, the more improved you’ll become. And, you’ll have a better perspective of what you’re doing with your time.

As you engage in your endeavors, consider how you view the usage of your time. If you note what makes you feel better, versus worse about its usage, you will begin to summit to the pinnacle of utilizing your time better, while feeling better about its usage. That will lead you to experience a higher sense of fulfillment … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

How you view the usage of time in a negotiation will impact the strategies you employ and how those strategies are rebutted by the opposing negotiator. If you view time to be short, you’ll take more drastic measures to get to the end point. That could cause the other negotiator to heighten his sense of time and both of you could find yourselves in a rushed position. That could lead to a calamitous negotiation.

Always be aware of how you view your time and maximize its usage to perceive it as being most beneficial to your cause.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Time #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #negotiator

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Negotiators: Beware of the Hidden Danger in Free Value

“There’s always a hidden fee in free. Don’t accept free without knowing what that hidden cost might be.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

As a negotiator, what do you consider when you hear free? Do you think about the hidden danger that may lurk in something that’s free? Sure, there could be value in the offer, but you should also beware of the hidden danger in anything that’s free.

When you hear the word free, your brain goes into a sense of euphoria. The endorphins begin to flow at the thought of receiving something for nothing. In such a mindset, you can become susceptible to lowering your guard. Doing that can leave you vulnerable to unsuspecting ploys. That can occur even when you’ve planned how you’ll address such offers. When you find yourself in such quandaries, consider the following.

What’s the offer attempting to achieve:

People are motivated by their aspirations. Thus, during a negotiation when offers are extended, a goal is at the purpose of that offer. If you’re aware of that intent, you’ll be in a better position to assess its potential value. Offers are not equal. Don’t let one that appears to be free become too costly for you to accept. Examine it thoroughly.

What’s to be gained:

Sometimes, acquiring a concession in a negotiation can add value to your overall goals. If the concession appears not to contain a cost, its allure may become bewitching. Be cautious when such appears to be the case. Good negotiators accumulate chits that they can use at other points in the negotiation. Thus, while you’re receiving what appears to be free, what you’re really receiving could be an IOU.

The timing of the offer:

The timing of an offer can obscure hidden dangers. If the intent is to obtain a greater concession, a negotiator may seek smaller ones to build towards the larger one. Thus, in some cases, positioning may be the goal. That means, offering something for free may be the setup or cover up for something to come.

Always be aware of where a concession or request may lead. Since negotiations are the accumulations of gains and concessions, you don’t want to make a concession thinking that it will lead to more gains. Or, acquire gains that are too costly, compared to the concessions you make to acquire them.

What do you have to concede:

In every negotiation, good negotiators have red herrings to use as chits or diversions. They can serve as bartering pieces that don’t contain a burdensome cost to you, or as distracters from the real intent of your offer. In a best-case scenario, a red herring should be perceived as something of value that you possess that can be dangled as a sought-after desire that the other negotiator wants. The more he’d like to possess it, the greater its perceived value will be. Thus, if it doesn’t cost you anything to relinquish, you can heighten its appeal by feigning great concern to part with it. The point is, don’t weaken red herrings by relinquishing them too easily. Doing so will weaken your negotiation position.

There’s a cost associated with everything we acquire, even if it’s just the time that we invest. Because time itself has a cost. If you keep in mind that nothing’s free, you’ll maintain a more prepared mind to assess the hidden cost and hidden dangers that may be concealed in free offers. Doing so will make you a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Danger #value #free #Hide #bodylanguage #Negotiator #Business #Management #SmallBusiness #Money #Negotiating #combat #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #Negotiations #PersonalDevelopment #HandlingObjections #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #NegotiationPsychology

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What Do You Fear?

“Fear will masquerade as truth until it’s unmasked”. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you know what you’re most fearful of and why? Does fear debilitate you when you’d rather be less susceptible to it? When you find yourself in the clutches of fear, you need to know how to escape it. If not, it will leave you imprisoned and entrapped in a web of despair.

Consider the following the next time you feel fear sneaking up on you.

Inner Child:

There were lyrics to a song that went – ‘little child, running wild …’. All of us carry our inner child with us throughout our life. That inner child can be the source of fearful things you experienced in your formative years that should no longer hold sway over you.

In dealing with your inner child, realize that you’re no longer that person. You’ve evolved. Keep your inner child in check and you’ll be more adaptable to dealing with things that you fear.

Insecurities:

What beliefs temper your insecurities? You should know what they are, why they come into being, and what stimulates them to rise to your consciousness.

Before you can deal with any fears, you must know why they’re prevalent and what gave them life. Once you pinpoint that source, you’ll know to what degree the fear is real or imagined. You’ll also have a better handle on how to deal with them and keep them in check.

Times of Happiness:

During times of happiness, be grateful. Revel in your bliss. But, don’t relax too long. The world continuously evolves, which means you must evolve to stay abreast with the changes that occur in the world.

The point is, the more you recognize when you’re in a state of happiness, the more you’ll focus upon your good fortunes. Doing that will relieve hidden stress, and dissipate fear. That will allow you to experience a greater feeling of happiness. Isn’t that a better cycle to be in?

To enhance your life, know why and when fear becomes ignited in you. To combat it, focus on the times when you were happiest in life. Draw from the lessons learned during those times. Then, mentally summon those happier times to combat fear. By doing that, you’ll recognize when you’re in a good place in your life, and know how to best deal with fear when it comes at you … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

During a negotiation, you and the other negotiator will be motivated by gain and loss at different points in the negotiation. It behooves you to understand when either source of stimulus is present because you need to adopt different strategies to deal with that segment of the negotiation. As an example, the fear of loss can be a potent tool to employ against the other negotiator. Be judicious when doing that so it doesn’t backfire on you.

By taming fear and using it as a source of motivation in a negotiation, you’ll have a greater grasp of how to control its usage. That will place you in a powerful position throughout the negotiation.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Categories
Best Practices Body Language Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Observe Body Language to Uncover the Truth

“To uncover the truth, expose its darkness.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you negotiate, what body language gestures do you observe to uncover the truth? Do you seek insights from gestures, intonations, and other signs to validate when you suspect the truth is being violated? If so, exactly what do you look for?

You can gain great insight about someone’s truthfulness via their body language, and negotiate better, by arming yourself with the following information.

Body Language

Before you can accurately interpret someone’s body language, you must establish their baseline. That baseline will allow you to more accurately assess and compare the body language gestures the other negotiator exhibits more accurately during the negotiation. To form his baseline, observe his mannerisms when he’s in a non-threatening environment.

Our body seeks to maintain a constant state of comfort. When it’s out of that state, it will commit actions to put itself back into that state (e.g. babies cry for attention when they’ve soiled themselves, adults feeling overly aggrieved strike out in anger to get even and soothe themselves, etc.). During the body’s state of discomfort, observe signs like, rubbing of the hands, touching one’s face/neck/arm/leg, etc., to validate the state of mind that person is in; those signs are called comfort gestures. The person emitting the behavior is attempting to comfort himself; that person’s body is attempting to put itself back into a state of comfort.

When you see the gestures noted above, assess what has caused that person to experience discomfort. Was it something he said? If so, he may have entered a state of untruthfulness. If you sense that might be the case, consider questioning him about your suspicion. Or, you can progress the conversation and note when other comfort gestures are exhibited. The second, third, etc., iteration of such signals will add to the possibility that he’s violating the truth.

Intonation

When a person speaks, note their intonations. It will lend insight into what they believe to be more important than other aspects of what they’re saying. As an example, if someone said, “I’m not sure if that’s the whole truth.” The word(s) they placed the most emphasis on would denote what’s important to them. Thus, if the emphasis was on “whole”, there may be more that’s undisclosed. Once again, if you think that’s the case, probe to get to the root of the possible deception.

When it comes to intonations, observe what causes someone to alter their speaking pattern. Remember, the body seeks a constant state of comfort. Thus, if someone alters their speaking pace, they’re doing so due to the stimuli that put them into that mood. The behavior may be due to their contemplating what to say to complete their thought. If you sense they’re concealing the truth, consider how and when you’ll challenge them.

Once you become astute at reading body language gestures, you’ll uncover secret cues that indicate when someone’s not being forthright. You’ll become a human lie detector … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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