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How to Avoid Conflict – Part 2

In my previous blog, we looked at the difference between “Listening Wrong” and “Listening Right” as a part of “Listening to Understand,” a fundamental principle in laying the ground work to have a potentially difficult conversation in a way that is constructive rather than combative.

Now, let’s look at strategies for when it’s your turn to talk, after you have successfully demonstrated listening to understand. 

Once the other person has finished sharing their perspective, don’t sabotage the exchange by launching into a “now it’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen” monologue. Remember that you entered the conversation with the initial goal of understanding their perspective. So the first step you need to take in line with this goal is to confirm your understanding.

A great segue can be as simple as, “Thanks for taking the time to explain that to me. I want to make sure I understand the key issues. Can I run through my main takeaways based on what I heard, and you can correct me if I’m off somehow?” Who would say no to such a request?

Once you have the go-ahead, start by paraphrasing your understanding of their key points. You should use simple, reporting language such as, “You said that your budget _____,” or “Did I understand correctly that in your department _____,” or “Your primary concern is that _____, right?” Whatever you do, do not comment on anything yet.

This step also serves multiple purposes with mutual benefits. From the other person’s side, they are happy to know that you are valuing their input enough to take time to ensure that you understood it. Plus, it is reassuring for them to have you confirm that whatever they said was received as it was intended. This builds trust and facilitates further discussion.

More importantly, paraphrasing this way ensures that you actually did understand all of their key points. Misunderstandings could be due to missing or improperly stated information in their initial explanation, or perhaps you were writing something down and didn’t catch something else they said at the time.

Regardless of the cause, once you have had a chance to confirm the facts, then everyone is satisfied that all key information is on the table, and, most importantly, they feel relieved to know that they have been heard and understood.

From there, you can transition into sharing your side of the story with something like, “Okay, well, let’s start with _____.” It’s important to keep your language objective, and if you feel like their view on something is incorrect, keep your explanation fact-based, calm and impersonal. There’s a big difference between saying, “There are a few details I don’t think your team is aware of,” and, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

If the other person does not play by the same rules and interrupts you when it’s your turn, you can explicitly draw their attention to the contrast and make a respectful request: “I’m sure you’ll have some comments and questions, which I welcome, but I listened to you without interrupting, and would appreciate the same courtesy in return.” You can offer them some paper to take notes on while they listen, for their own benefit, and ask them to paraphrase what they understood when you’re done, so they can follow your model more completely as well.

At best, once you have heard each other out, and truly sought to understand each other’s objectives and reasons, you can come to a solution that meets everyone’s needs. But at the very least, if the answer still has to be “no,” there is still potential for positive outcome.

At that point, “no” can sound more like, “I truly appreciate the fact that/your concern about ___. For now, we have to prioritize _____ because of _____, but I understand the impact that it will have on your situation, so…”

Even though the other person might not be happy with the immediate result, it’s much easier for them to accept the outcome because they understand why, and are emotionally satisfied that they have been respected as a person and a professional.

In the end, difficult topics are addressed productively without fighting and casualties of war, and respectful relationships are not only maintained but strengthened. You’re not avoiding the issue, you’re avoiding creating a mess.

More importantly, you’re leading by example, and fostering a healthy culture of open communication, transparency, and mutual respect.

That’s the difference between someone who has a leadership position, and someone who is a leader.

********

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

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Best Practices Economics Growth Leadership Personal Development

Eve of Disruption – Future of Work

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the words “FUTURE OF WORK?”

I recently went to a well curated panel event hosted by The Freelancers Conference on the topic of “Future of work.”  The first thought in one of the panelists was fear.  Fear of what is going to happen and how do we go through the change and accept it.  There was fear that “robots” (technology) would replace entry level jobs. There was fear of the implications of remote working on infrastructure if people didn’t drive to work on a normal basis.  There was fear of what does career mean versus work.  There was fear on how the continued interaction between all the generations in the work force will affect the “stability” of what is work today.  With the entry of the millennial into the workforce and the proliferation of technology (social media, phones) there has been a shift in the path, individuals are taking for their career.  For those in the Gen-X generation and older, we were taught to go to college, maybe get a graduate degree, get a corporate job, go up the ladder and on the way get married, have children, buy a house and car.  This would bring about stability so we could retire and enjoy life when we were “older.”

The world has changed since we have grown up and the future of work is definitely in a different place.  Between 1975 and 2015, life expectancy at birth increased from 72.6 to 78.8 years for the total U.S. population. We are living longer for multiple reasons including better: health systems, infrastructure, food sources etc.  It also means that we have a longer span to support our lifestyles and many people are not retiring to just live out the rest of their lives and have fun. The boomer generation is not retiring  as we expected and the millennial generation is entering the workforce at the same time making a paradigm shift on how work should be done and what matters.   Millennials are driving the notion that work should be purpose driven. They want to have experiences in their life now. We have generations in the workforce who didn’t expect to be working past retirement or having multiple careers.  On the flip side you have generations coming into the workforce who know they will have longer lives and be working multiple jobs throughout their lives.  The definition of career versus work has changed dramatically and means different things to every person.

This trend is showing that more people are thinking about their individual path in the scheme of helping our world survive as we go through these massive changes.  As business people we are digitizing individualization through social media, technology such as AI and big data to see products and services.  These technologies also change how people conduct their own work.  Technology will make it easier to do many jobs in a more efficient manner.  Interestingly, many companies are cropping up to help corporations focus on their “employees” (stated loosely as it could include freelancers etc).  However, if you go into many large corporations they still struggle providing the same environment inside their business as their employees are living outside.  A large Fortune 10 company based in a small town wants to be the retailer of the future.  Yet Airbnb, Uber and other tech companies in the sharing economy are still “new” fangled companies in 2017.  If your employees are not experiencing or researching the end customer, you won’t be able to keep up with the times and you will also lose employees very quickly as opportunity to be engaged and grow is everywhere.

The trust level between employees and employers is starting to deteriorate and that will be one of the many downfalls of the current system. Individuals are beginning to realize they have more freedom in their lifestyles as freelancers and the numbers are growing rapidly, to 1/3 of the American workforce.  This changes the dynamic of businesses who are hiring individuals who want to work remotely, don’t really care for employee benefits or the physical spaces in offices.  This will change how office space is designed and how HR processes are managed.  Yet, these individuals want to be seen as people and the human element comes into play.  When we are taught that scale drives business and revenues, it will get harder to engage employees for the individual mindsets that they bring to the table.

There are lots of aspects of the future of work that are being worked on by many different groups right now.  There are businesses that help executives understand their new workforce which is multi-generational, diverse and has a new mindset on the future.  Other companies help businesses to design their future physical space and separately companies who help create the technology infrastructure to manage remote employees.  Focusing on individualization of employees is going to be critical as we move forward and new ways of doing business come about.  Laws, retirement age, work hours, work ethics, rules, HR processes, physical space, city infrastructure, products and services are just the tip of the iceberg on what will change as we move forward.

What does Future of Work mean to you as an individual and what changes do you see right now?

 

Welcome to the Eve of Disruption. A weekly series depicting what the future fabric of our society could look like. There is a changing paradigm in how we live, work and play. Are you and your organization moving with the times and adapting to the massive and rapid changes happening right now? The Eve of Disruption looks at ideas that could be 5 – 10 years in the future but most likely will happen in the blink of an eye. #jointhejourney

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

Bell(e)’s World – Balance

How do you define BALANCE in your life?

We hear about work life balance, all the time.  Balance is defined, as a condition, in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Life is very hard to have all the elements be equal.  We are messaged throughout our lives that work and life proportions should be balanced.  Let’s look at the averages based on The Labor Bureau of Statistics.  Fact – There are 168 hours in every week! (Some people think that’s not enough).  The most amount of time is spent on personal care1 which includes sleep – 67.06 hours / week.  Almost less than half on work or work related activities 2 – 25.27 hours / week. This gives us almost 75.67 hours/ week to do something other than “sleep” and “work.”  Yet our focus in life is centered around work and getting the financial gains from “working”, being successful, having a title, having power etc.  Just looking at the numbers, balance, is not a game, we should strive to win.  You are struggling every day to achieve something that is not truly possible and shouldn’t be the same for everyone.  Each of us is an individual, on their own life journey.

Work can be enjoyable to many people.  When I am doing things that mostly make my brain tick and generates income, I am very focused and enjoy what I am doing.  Many of the closest people, in my life, tell me I constantly work.  Yet it doesn’t look like I am working to the outside world.  It looks like I am enjoying life and being a free spirit because I am around people I enjoy interacting with and I travel a lot.  There are many executives who are driven by the work they do because they are good at it, they enjoy it and are getting paid to do it.  This does mean that sometimes their personal lives are affected by the amount of time they spend on work.

However, they need to find the balance on the expectations of them by the people in their life.  There is nothing wrong in being motivated by the work you do and spending a lot of time on it.  The problem becomes when you have situations where others have expectations on your time and they don’t receive it.  As everything on a Bell curve there is a large group of people that truly enjoy the work they do.  However, the media is constantly providing articles on how to achieve balance and makes people feel that they are not normal or fulfilled in their journey because they are always working.   The media and our culture shapes our way of thinking from the moment our brains start learning to process information.  We are taught what is the right behavior (eg. etiquette) to how we should think.  Yet, each individual, in the universe will have a slightly different way of thinking and will be wired a little different.

Life is not just about balance but is a key component to going through the life journey.  Prior to understanding balance in your own life, you need to go through the process of understanding your core self. The core self, answers the questions of what makes you tick to what journey do you want to lead. The list is extensive and the time is takes to process this self-evaluation can be a lifetime.  As you start peeling the layers, you find confidence on making decisions based on your individual journey.  Balance does not mean our work and play will be even and its definitely not the same for everyone. Balance is about understanding how we want to go through the journey of life and feel fulfilled at the end.

How do you want to bring BALANCE into your Journey of Life?

1Average weekly hours worked https://www.bls.gov/web/empsit/ceseesummary.htm
2Average daily hours on activities https://www.bls.gov/charts/american-time-use/activity-by-sex.htm

Welcome to Bell(e)’s world. Everything in this world is based on a bell curve. Our media concentrates on giving advice to make everyone be a part of the masses. This is a weekly series of Urvi’s insights on her perception of the world. They say perception is reality and she lives in her own fantasy world. This allows her to delve into the human element of our lives, helping individuals look into their own souls to understand who they are and what they want out of their journey of life.  Bell(e)’s world explores the extremes and goes beyond the surface. Ready to read about some of the “elephants in the room?”  Contact urvi if you want to build your emotional wealth and enhance your life based on your inner core. #thehumanelement

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Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

Avoid Triangulation: How to Save Time and Money in a Conflict

Avoid Triangulation: How to Save Time and Money in a Conflict

Have you ever been pulled into a conflict between two employees?  Two employees have an emotionally charged discussion, they fail to resolve the conflict and one of them comes to you, “Joseph is refusing to do his work.  I am sick of it.”  What do you do? Do you get in the middle?  Do you call together both employees to discuss the issue?  Don’t do it. It’s a trap.  It will likely waste your time and damage profitability too.  What can you do instead?

We learn this triangulation technique at an early age.  Triangulation is when a third party (neutral) is brought into a conflict for the purpose of reaching a resolution.  Here is a typical example.  Two children are playing and one does something the other doesn’t like.  Before you know it, “Mom!!!  Joseph took my toy!!”  Triangulation is a demonstration of either laziness or a lack of skill in resolving conflict.  It’s understandable in childhood. Children don’t know any better.  It is dysfunctional in the workplace and needs to be avoided.

There are three reasons why you should avoid being pulled into the middle.  It will likely waste your time.  It will rarely create a lasting resolution.  It will teach dependence.

Wasting Your Time

According to an Accountemps Survey in 2011, “Managers who were interviewed said they spend, on average, 18 percent of their time — intervening in employee disputes.” (Keeping the Peace: Accountemps Survey: Managers Spend Nearly a Full Day Each Week Dealing with Staff Conflicts, 2011)  Imagine you could save nearly 1-1/2 hours a day (seven hours a week or nine weeks per year), how much more could you accomplish?

Unlikely a Long-Term Resolution

When you are pulled into the middle, staying neutral is a big challenge.  Your biases will get in the way of appearing neutral to both employees.  One or both will likely see you on one side or the other.  This will prevent a solution from sticking.  Any perception of bias will create a perception of weakness in the quality of whatever solution is reached.

Teaching Dependency

If you insist on stepping in the middle of a conflict, what is the likelihood the employees will get you in the middle next time too?   It’s highly likely and, if employees depend on you for conflict resolution, innovation, productivity, and profit will suffer.

Correct Strategy

If getting in the middle should be avoided, then what is the correct strategy when employees can’t resolve their own conflict?  If you are being dragged into the middle, there are 3 key actions you can take to reverse the trend. First, identify the type of conflict.  Second, provide the correct tools.  Third, facilitate a discussion with the employees to resolve their own conflicts.

Identify the type of conflict

There are two sources of conflict, interests and positions.  Conflicts of interests are serious and very difficult to resolve. It means that the two people (or organizations) have totally different foundational priorities.  The Palestinians and Israelis have conflicts of interests.  Israelis desire to live in peace practicing their faith, living in a democracy and operating in a capitalist economy.  Many Palestinians want the destruction of Israel.  In organization, the existence of conflicts of interests are likely an indicator of a leadership failure.

Conflicts of positions are much easier to resolve and offer the best opportunity to innovate.  Imagine a couple want to take a trip to New York City.  The husband wants to drive.  The wife wants to take the train.  They both share the same interest, i.e. a trip to NYC.  They disagree on how, the position.

Conflicts of position offer an opportunity to talk and possibly negotiate.  Organization should have a very high percentage of conflicts of position. Any conflicts of interest are a failure of leadership skill and/or communication.  These types of conflict indicate a lack of clarity of the context.

Provide the tools

If it is a conflict of interest then, as a leader, you must get to work!  Clarify the vision, mission, values, strategy, and leadership model.  The lack of clarity has trickled down through into the minds of the employees.  You must ask, “Have we clarified the vision, mission, values, strategy, and leadership model for the organization?”  Any confusion about these five key cornerstones will likely create unnecessary conflicts.

If it is a conflict of position, it is a perfect time ask, “Do the employees have negotiation skills and/or experimentation tools and do they have permission to use them?”  The learning cycle is a perfect tool to take ideas and test them.  The learning cycle (Plan-Do-Check-Act) gives employees empowerment to test their positions.   A position is a theory. For example, in my NYC example, the husband might say, “Honey, if we drive we will have a better time because we can relax and leave whenever we want.  Can we try it this time, and perhaps take the train next time?”

Conflicts of position require emotional intelligence and specialized tools to lead emotional discussions.  Providing these tools enables employees to resolve their own conflicts.  Providing these tools is a leadership responsibility.

When you prepare the context and provide the tools, you can transform children into adults.  You will create an environment where you no longer have to be in the middle and you will observe employees independently resolve issues and create innovative solutions that the “middle-person” never could.   Facilitate a discussion to encourage employees to use the tools and create their own solutions.  Let them do it. Prepare them and turn them loose.  It will save you time and make you more money.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Keeping the Peace: Accountemps Survey: Managers Spend Nearly a Full Day Each Week Dealing with Staff Conflicts. (2011, March 15). Retrieved from http://accountemps.rhi.mediaroom.com: http://accountemps.rhi.mediaroom.com

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Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

What Does Your Personal Brand Sound Like?

I just read a great article from Entrepreneur, as shared here, called “7 Signs Your Personal Brand Needs Work.” All seven signs, and the suggestions offered to resolve each, are insightful and important – read them for yourself. But as is common in such analyses, there is one critical factor for establishing your ideal personal brand that is once again missing from the discussion.

It’s one thing to have consistent branding when you’re writing a blog, Facebook update or tweet, but what happens to that brand messaging when you’re talking to someone, real-time, maybe even face to face? On a very literal level, what does it sound like when you share your idea, insight and suggestion? Is it as compelling to hear as it is to read?

So many people have terrific ideas and masterful skill sets, but their ability to persuade, compel, and inspire someone just by talking with them simply falls flat. There’s something “missing” in the delivery, which can translate to something missing from their personal brand

This is the foundation of what I call alignment. Your words and your delivery must be equally strong and compelling, because your words convey your content, and your delivery conveys your intent behind the message. When both parts are reinforcing the same message at the same time, there is credibility to the whole message, and as a result, the credibility reflects back to you.

Lots of people claim that they can speak well when they have to give a big presentation or are otherwise in the spotlight, and this shows what they are capable of when they believe the stakes are high enough to warrant that kind of focus and effort. But as far as I’m concerned, your reputation is what happens in the moments when you’re NOT trying; all those little moments when you’re not in the spotlight.

For example, when you look at your own participation in generic weekly meetings, what does your participation soundlike? Ask yourself the following:

  • Do you always speak loudly enough to ensure that all people can hear?
  • Do you inflect lots of up-speak when you talk where it sounds like you’re constantly implying lots of questions and requests for validation into your speech even when you’re not?
  • Do you speak so quickly that you tend to slur some words together or mumble, making people have to ask you to repeat what you’ve said?
  • Do you give and receive constructive feedback in an antagonistic or defensive manner, or shy away from it completely?
  • Do you speak in an unnecessarily low voice without enough breath support so that your voice sounds gravelly or creaky, and you seem disinterested, tired, or not confident?

The challenge is that most of us are painfully unaware of our default speech style. We may know how we think we come across, but often the brand and reputation that we think we are building for ourselves is very different from the reality of the brand reputation we’re becoming known for.

This is why it’s critical to gain an awareness of what your “default” speech style is like in these contexts: because for the most part, that’s what people will remember and what they’ll use to form their evaluation of your credibility and leadership, not what you can do in the rare instances when you absolutely have to. After all, what’s more likely: that they frame their opinions based on the exception, or the “rule”?

When in doubt, remember: That “rule” is at the foundation of your brand.

********

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Motivation and Alignment

 

In the previous article on motivation we explored how to motivate your team. This article takes you deeper on the topic of alignment, which is aligning the people on your team with their gifts, contributions, and brilliance.

We have discussed internal vs. external motivators and how people are motivated in the long-term intrinsically, from within. In this article we are going to look at how you can help your employees tap into their intrinsic motivations for better results and higher performance.

To do this you will start by learning who your team members are so you can help them contribute in a way that is meaningful for them. One of the topics I discuss with clients is identifying your unique brilliance and the brilliance of each person on your team. When you know your brilliance and theirs it becomes much easier to align each team member with the tasks and projects where they will have the most impact and provide the best results.

For example (a simple example), do you have a team member who loves working on complex problems? Don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work or have them finalize the PowerPoint deck or at least don’t ask them to do it for very long. You want to find the team member who thrives on repetitive tasks and processes to pick up the phone and make cold calls or format the spreadsheet.

Of course it goes much deeper than that and there are lots of ways to learn about who your people are. The easiest way to start is to spend time talking to people and asking them what lights them up, but there are also some terrific assessments you can use. I use the Core Values Index (CVI) Assessment by Taylor Protocols with my clients in addition to discussing their unique brilliance with them through an exercise I’ve developed on this topic, creatively named the Unique Brilliance tool.

The reason I also use the CVI assessment is because it easy to use, quick to take, and the insights each individual receives along with the discussion on what lights them up provides invaluable information on how they prefer to contribute.

If you want a copy of the Unique Brilliance tool you can find it along with other resources at www.c-suiteresults.com and you can also email me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com and ask for a copy. It’s important for you to not only understand your gifts and brilliance, but also help your team understand theirs. You can also take the CVI for free from the C-Suite Results Website to get a glimpse of the type of information it provides.

Once you truly know who is on your team and how they are motivated to contribute you can align more of their tasks and responsibilities with the way they are wired to contribute. Of course no one can always do the fun tasks and avoid the boring or difficult ones, but the more you can provide your team with opportunities to truly contribute in a meaningful way, the more they will go above and beyond and really show you how they shine.

This is a key step in creating high performance teams, reducing turnover, and getting better results.  I encourage you to start exploring this idea on your own or with help from others. If I can be of assistance you can reach me via email at sharon@c-suiteresults.com

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Best Practices Growth Management Personal Development Technology

Is Your Marketing a Business or a Religion?

That might seem like an odd question to pose, but I have run into one too many B2B clients lately who have convinced themselves over the years that marketing is just a waste of money. Often, these executives cut their teeth in the 1980s and 1990s when B2B Marketing was truly not terribly important. No B2B companies had CMOs back then because there was nothing C-level about the job. It doesn’t take a high executive to decide what the brochure should say that we bring to our booth at the trade show. And that’s all that B2B marketing was.

Fast forward to today. Those same executives that grew up in the era of unimportant B2B marketing have not realized that times have changed. Digital marketing has made B2B marketing expenditures hugely important. Prospects don’t even have you on the list if they can’t find you. And even if you were referred to them, they check out your website before they even call.

But I have run into a spate of B2B execs over the last few weeks that look me in the eye and say, “Yeah, well. I just don’t believe that more marketing will bring us any more sales.” Folks, that is a religious statement. Nobody is asking you to believe. We’re asking you to experiment. We’re asking you to give it a try. Make a bet. See what happens. We’re asking you to treat marketing the same way you treat every other decision. You don’t invest in new products because you believe in them. You know that most of them will fail. You invest in them because you know you have no choice because you won’t find the ones that work if you don’t invest in all of them. That’s business, not religion.

 The problem is that you can’t teach anyone something that they think they already know. And if you take the attitude that you already know that marketing is a waste of money, then you can’t learn how digital marketing is a new way to play. So, you can stick to your religion and operate like it’s still the 1980s. Or you can recognize that the browser on your computer and the phone in your pocket and the iPad by your bed are the new way to reach your audience in an efficient and effective way, and if you are missing in action, they will just find your competitors.

You don’t need to believe in it. You just have to give it a chance to prove it to you. Just like you do with the rest of your business.

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Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

3 Methods for Lasting Change We Can Learn from Jesus

3 Methods for Lasting Change We Can Learn from Jesus

There are many things we can learn from Jesus even if we are not Christian. One important lesson is how to be a change agent for our teams, organizations, or communities.

The ability to lead change is a key competency of any leader and that is especially true today with the speed and frequency of change.  According to Fortune Magazine, only 12% of the Fortune 500 companies in 1955 are still on the list today.  Why? One reason is the inability to adapt to change.

There are three methods we can all use to facilitate change.  I chose the word facilitate carefully because it is not about controlling.  It is about offering options which provide the greatest benefits and which will generate the best results.  A facilitator makes things clear and shows the way. It is up to others to make the choice to follow.

Method 1: Identify a Small Group of Committed People

Don’t try to change everyone.  Find a small group of committed, well connected, and credible people who can help you communicate your very clear and compelling message of change.  This idea was clearly articulated in the book the Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell. (Gladwell, 2000) Jesus did this with his 12 apostles.  Even Jesus couldn’t save everyone because we all have free will.  Judas didn’t make it even though he had a seat in the C-Suite.

Method 2: Offer Evidence and Understanding to Those Who Doubt

I find the “four stage model” for change useful.  The four stages in a change process are:

  1. First, we start out in comfort with how things are.  There is no need for change.
  2. The second stage is denial.  This is where everything that is not working is someone else’s fault.  “There is no need for me to change because the conditions just don’t justify it.”
  3. The third stage is anxiety.  This is where we know we need to change but we are unsure if it is possible. We may feel shame or embarrassment that we messed up and we can feel depression.  Sometimes we avoid feeling depressed and stay in denial.  It is normal to move back and forth between denial and anxiety especially if the change we are being asked to make is a big one.
  4. The final stage is insight.  This is where we try something new to address the desired change and it works. This gives us hope that we CAN make the change and it is working. This is the positive feedback stage.

Providing those who are in denial and anxiety with empathy, understanding (love) and data helps them to get the insights they need to make the changes.

Jesus had big advantages with the miracles performed.  We don’t necessarily need miracles to help people move through the four stages (although it would help).  We need empathy, clearly articulated benefits, clearly articulated consequences, and data for all those in denial and anxiety.   Thomas doubted Jesus’s appearance to the apostles after the resurrection.   Thomas wanted data and Jesus provided it.

If we can support those who are doubtful and give them an opportunity to demonstrate the new behaviors, they are more willing to make the change.  It requires data, support, fortitude, and emotional intelligence to make the change work.

Method 3: Create a Ritual

Jesus created the ritual of the bread and wine to help everyone remember him and His word. To help people remember the clear messages and the benefits we need a ritual.  Find one, create it and stick with it. I encourage clients to use morning huddles to reinforce the values of the organization.  This frequency of reinforcement is like a ritual that reminds everyone they made a choice, it is working, and it is benefiting them personally.

Other rituals that reinforce positive change include:

  • Consistently facilitating agreements with people instead of telling them what to do.
  • Looking for processes that need improvement and delegate the “fix” to the staff instead of doing it yourself.
  • Hold more frequent huddles and communicate how organization is doing, express appreciation for all the excellent work, and tie the results to the change initiative.
  • Jesus was an excellent change agent.  If we can apply his methods, we can become profound change agents too.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Gladwell, M. (2000). The Tipping Point. Malcom Gladwell.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to LEAP Into Extreme Leadership

The world is full of people who call themselves leaders, but woefully short of Extreme Leaders. Perhaps you think that’s OK. Extreme Leaders, you might reason, are only needed for extreme circumstances – a soldier taking fellow troops into battle, a Sherpa guiding climbers up Mount Everest, or a quarterback directing a potential game-winning drive in the Super Bowl. Everyday life, you might say, requires only everyday leaders.

But here’s the reality: Everyday leaders who aren’t also Extreme Leaders aren’t taking anyone anywhere worth going. They risk very little and gain very little. Soon the only reason anyone follows them is out of the obligation that comes with a paycheck.

Extreme Leaders, meanwhile, love their work and the people associated with it so much that they embrace and inspire audacious decisions. They attack their work with a contagious energy. And they display an unwavering commitment to get things done. In other words, they willingly put themselves on the line to change their world for the better.

That’s leadership worth following. And you don’t have to be a soldier, a Sherpa, or an NFL quarterback to be an Extreme Leader. You just have to lead with Love, Energy, Audacity, and Proof – otherwise known as LEAP.

Interested? Here are a few ways to LEAP immediately into Extreme Leadership:

Cultivate Love – Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.

Extreme Leaders find ways to genuinely love their work and every individual who touches their business. Then they act from that level of motivation. Thus, they pay nearly obsessive attention to the needs, desires, hopes, and aspirations of their customers and co-workers. So here’s the go-do: Identify at least two people who love what you do, one inside your organization (e.g., a co-worker) and one outside (e.g., a client). Tell each of them why you love your work and provide a specific way you plan to serve their needs over the next 60 days.

Generate Energy – Generate more energy when you walk into a room than when you walk out.

You don’t have to watch TV or movies to see zombies in action. Just walk through the typical office in corporate America. But not yours, because you aspire to Extreme Leadership. A couple of ways you can generate energy include passionately sharing a purposeful vision with others and actively expressing gratitude to others. So pick out five people in your work atmosphere and do at least one of those two things for them in the next 24 hours.

Inspire Audacity – Make a connection between the work you do and its potential impact on the entire world.

Extreme Leaders demonstrate a bold and blatant disregard for normal constraints. Not in an impudent manner, but in a courageous I-want-to-change-the-world way. In three sentences or less, explain how you plan to change the world through your work.

Provide Proof – Prove yourself through significant, observable, daily actions.

It’s easy to talk a good game, but Extreme Leaders back up their talk with their behaviors. Write down three ways you are “proving” that you love your work, team and/or customers; three ways the people around you see your energy; and three audacious things you are doing to change the world.

Extreme Leaders put their skin in the game and make a difference in the world, no matter what the environment. Nothing is too mundane or too routine that it can’t become part of something bigger and better. So don’t be content with everyday leadership and everyday results.

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Marketing Operations Personal Development

Six Strategies to Set Your Business Apart

It takes customer service and more for a small company to compete in today’s world of big box stores, and the same business strategies that will set a small company apart are valuable tools for a company of any size.

It is a business situation that has been repeated in towns across the country – a “big box” store comes to town and the local businesses get nervous. How can they compete with the larger inventory and lower prices of a store like Costco or Home Depot? The big stores seem to have more tools at their disposal – buying power, national advertising, etc. Local business owners can list a myriad of concerns, and while there is some truth to their fears, it is really just making excuses. There are ways small business owners can keep their customers – even attract new ones – and flourish, when a larger competitor moves into town.

The reality is that any business must consciously implement effective strategies to address competition from any new business that moves into the same market. This is true for any type of business or industry, no matter whether the established business or the newcomer is small, large, a deep discounter, whatever … the strategies are the same. And some don’t cost a thing.

Here are some low- and no-cost ideas that can help you compete:

  • Make it about more than the merchandise. You sell the same product or service as your competitor, and the competitor happens to be a “big box” store with the buying power to offer a lower price. Is it still possible to keep the customers coming through your doors? Yes! This is where customer service becomes the strategy of choice. Offering a better customer experience adds value to the product and can set you apart from the competition and free you from the commodity trap.

 

  • Or, do make it about the merchandise – the merchandise that the competitor doesn’t have. One small hardware store that happens to be just down the street from a Home Depot has found a way to flourish. They figured out what Home Depot doesn’t sell and then made sure to offer those items. Now Home Depot even sends customers their way for the products that have been so thoughtfully and purposefully stocked.

 

  • Know your strengths – and let customers know, too. Hopefully, you are known for offering good customer service, but what else sets your business apart? Why should someone do business with you instead of the competition? Figure out your advantages and then let others know.

 

  • Make it about more than the business. Lend your name to other causes in the community, be it the local, national or even international community. The company’s market will define the scope of your “community.” For many small businesses, this means taking an active role in the local community by being visible – sponsor a sports team, let a local charity hold a bake sale outside your store on a Saturday, etc. Show the community that you care.

 

  • Let your loyal customers lend a hand. Keep in touch with your customer base through a variety of ways – social media, mail, and so on – and build an army of evangelists. Engaging with them will encourage them to promote your business.

 

  • Consider a formal loyalty program. Airlines, hotels, restaurants and more use loyalty programs to offer incentives for continued business. Would such a program work in your business?

 

Whether you choose to institute any or all of the strategies mentioned here – or dozens of other options – there is one ever-present way to compete in any market. Simply stated, just deliver amazing customer service that makes the customer feel so special that he/she wouldn’t consider doing business with anyone else.

 

Shep Hyken is a customer experience expert and the Chief Amazement Officer of Shepard Presentations. He is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author and has been inducted into the National Speakers Association Hall of Fame for lifetime achievement in the speaking profession. Shep works with companies and organizations who want to build loyal relationships with their customers and employees. For more articles on customer service and business go to http://www.hyken.com.

Copyright © MMXIV Shep Hyken – Used with permission.