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Month: February 2019

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Really Want to Get Better?

“Better is, as better is defined. If you want to get better, first define it, then engage it. Learn from it. Then, repeat the process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really want to get better? If so, why? If not, why not? Seriously, some people are happy and satisfied with their station in life. They seek to avoid the challenges, tests, and ultimatums that life places before them. So, they sheepishly slink into the confines of what they perceive to be life’s sanctuaries. Thus, they don’t seek higher stations. Hopefully, that’s not you.

Here’s the point, and I don’t mean to be harsh. If you’re not growing in life, you’re dying. You may already be dead, just waiting for a place to happen. Don’t let that be you! As I state to a dear friend of mine in Australia, keep rising.

Plateau:

Some people plateau in life. They don’t realize when it occurs because they’re too busy living life. They drift on the melodies of life, seduced by its melodic tones. Meanwhile, life changes, be it through technology, relationships, etc., and some don’t note it. They run the risk of falling behind because they’re not staying abreast of the times that change brings. Don’t let that happen to you! Change with the times.

Define it:

To get better, you must know what better means. That means, you must define what it means to get better. While you can seek input from others, in the end, you must live the life you choose. Therefore, be mindful when accepting input. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

Perception:

Okay, you tried to reach a higher point in life, and you failed. First, you didn’t fail. You learned valuable lessons. What were those lessons? If for no other reason, learn from them, so you don’t repeat the worst of them.

Your perception of any aspect determines how you’ll feel about it. If you assign dread to it, you’ll be less likely to engage in it again. That should warrant your attention. Because, if something was calamitous, you can decide to avoid it. Or, you can enhance it by learning from it. The point is, you’ll make that decision anyway. Be aware when it occurs. You’ll be setting your life’s direction.

Once you define what better means and create procedures to achieve your goals, you’ll increase your chances of becoming better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

A negotiation is the exchange of thoughts to increase one’s value. Most of the time, that exchange occurs between different entities. But, in all cases, the negotiation process begins with you and your thoughts.

The better you can define what you want from a negotiation, the greater the chance you’ll have of achieving it. Thus, a lack of attention to your thoughts can leave you in a worse place than before the negotiation. I’m sure you would not define that as getting better.

Remember, always note the negotiation you have with yourself. By doing so, you’ll discover what’s important. That alone will put you on a better road to you getting better.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Better #Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

What to do When Whatever Can Happen Suddenly Does and Tries to Destroy Your Meeting – Part I

You know Murphy’s Law – the idea that whatever can happen, will.  Just this very busy, post holiday season I was reminded of a time that Murphy’s Law struck again. Literally!

What reminded me about it was this week’s marathon of groups and still another exciting moment on AA.  [Not alcoholics anonymous, American Airlines.].   My certified, regulation rollie would not fit in the overhead no matter how I tried to squish it, turn it, wheels first, handle first, sideways, upside down, just no way.   Nor would it fit under the supposedly regulation space under the seat in front of me.  [NOT!]  The flight attendant with the frazzled high pitched squeaky voice told me I had to check it.  She also told me I had to take it out to the gate, but of course there was no time to do that.  I wouldn’t get back on the flight.  To the dismay of my fellow passengers lined up behind me and quite a little frantic myself, I hurriedly opened my bag ,wrenched out my boots, my 3 hard cover books including focus group bashing, “How Customers Think”, and an awkwardly shaped dispenser of progesterone cream [how mortifying] – all of which were preventing squishage.  With those items sprawled over my seat and that of my seat mate [who was waiting behind me and who never spoke to me through out the 4 hour flight][1] I was finally able to compress the bag enough that I could jam it into the compartment.  After I stowed my boots, books and embarrassing bio basics, I settled into my seat and couldn’t help but recall another Murphy moment a number of years ago.

I was on another plane.  My fourteen pound Think Pad was on my lap. (Don’t ask me why I had such a heavy laptop. Pretty ridiculous I know. But I like having all the bells and whistles of a desk top in a laptop with a big screen.  Gives me a little extra exercise I guess.) Anyway, Dennis, our very pleasant flight attendant told me he would have to stow it overhead for take off, but would give it back to me once we were allowed to use electronic equipment again. And boy did he ever give it to me.  About 20 minutes into the flight,

I caught his eye and asked if this would be a good time to get my computer. “No problem,” he smiled. Famous last words!

Dennis opened the compartment, grasped the computer and… proceeded to drop it on my head. Major OUCH!!!  I saw stars and heard Tweetie birds singing. It crashed onto the top of my head and then clunked down onto my left thumb on it’s way down to attacking the big toe on my sandaled foot. People around me lurched in their seats. Dennis ran for an ice pack.

It hurt.

Mini concussion?  Compressed vertebrae?  Please, no, I had to write up a top line on the study I had just completed on osteoporosis. Getting off the plane at La Guardia, I found myself somewhat dazed and foggy for the next several hours.  The next day, I went to the doctor and was reassured I’d be fine.

What still amazes me is how I went through that trauma with virtually no residual effects. Once my neck was adjusted in the doctor’s office, the shock passed through my
body. My thinking refocused. With a neck adjustment and a little rest, I was fine the next morning.

It was interesting to observe the reactions of the passengers around me in the plane after the jolt of the mini crisis was over. Everyone kept looking up as if another computer would suddenly take wing, fly out of the overhead and crash down on them. They laughed nervously about it, made jokes, but also kept a watchful eye on the overhead compartments, taking time and attention away from working, reading a book or just relaxing. Murphy was nodding knowingly. I’d been flying for many years and have never before seen anyone accosted by a Kamikaze computer or any other item from the overhead[2]. Nevertheless, the
passengers on the plane had become aware of the possibility that such an event could happen and were therefore on heightened alert, anxious that they seemed to have no safeguard in place.

This incredibly rare experience, which left me feeling like the sky might actually be falling for the rest of the day, reminded me of how we group leaders and facilitators sometimes fear an outburst of Murphy’s Law in our group sessions and need to have precautions in place in the unlikely event that the respondent from Hell (“Super Grumpy”) happens to show up in one of our sessions.

In our training classes, people tell us that they most dread the possibility of an encounter with an irate, attacking participant who shows up without warning. While he is probably not likely to appear very frequently, this most feared individual is the transformed “Incredible Hulk” who threatens to destroy group process by explosively regurgitating his intense relevant or irrelevant rage at the leader and all over the group. (Yes – I’m mixing metaphors … Super Grumpy + Incredible Hulk … but I’m doing it on purpose … you’ll see why.)

It could happen. It’s unlikely to happen. In my own 25+ years of running groups it has happened maybe 10 times. However, the unpleasant experience and idea that this wildly uncontrollable character can sabotage the group, the outcome and the image of the leader to his/her client, can leaves you  looking up at the overhead, wondering when a group member’s accidental or purposeful aggression might erupt in the session and land on his head.

A little stage fright is energizing and keeps us on our toes. On the other hand, anxiety over unpredictable aggression without techniques for dealing with it detracts from our ability to perform at our best.

Let’s think about the Incredible Hulk for a minute. This is a basically good guy who is transformed by an impulsive temper into a giant muscle bound monster of fury. I’m going to digress just a bit to tell a little of his story.

Unless you’re a Hulk aficionado you probably don’t know that Bruce Banner, AKA The Incredible Hulk, was a product of an insanely jealous father who murdered Bruce’s mother in a green-eyed rage over her love for her son.  Bruce father then abandoned him and  continually accused him of being evil and reprehensible for all the bad things that had ever happened.  Poor Bruce stayed sane by diverting his grief, hurt and anger to the study of science. He got his doctorate in nuclear physics and went to work at a nuclear research facility, where in a heroic effort to rescue a friend, he was caught in the heart of a nuclear explosion. He mutated into seven feet, one thousand pounds of unfettered fury – the most powerful creature to walk the earth (aside from my husband Glenn, of course).

The disfiguring transformation was triggered by the build up of intense feelings and stress. When his anger was physically expressed and released during his Hulk conversion he would then transform back to his normal easy-to-get along with persona.  However, this was only after wreaking havoc around him, scaring the living daylights out of everyone in sight and knocking off a few people who got him PO’d.

The point of moving from the Super Grumpy[3] metaphor to the Incredible Hulk is … we can all EMPATHIZE with the Incredible Hulk because we know that underneath the fuming façade is a good soul.  Unfortunately, it’s harder to identify with a Super Grumpy when he shows up in our meetings, threatening to destroy us, the group process and the quest for learning or resolution of problems in our groups.  We can forget, that there is a real person with real needs and perhaps important issues that need to be addressed before we can continue with our agenda.

Strange as it may seem, the best way to deal with an overly aggressive, ‘in-your-face’ aggressor is to dig deep inside yourself to find empathy for their feelings. This, of course, is very easy to say, and quite another thing to accomplish.

In Part II, we’ll review the options. (Note: It’s MUCH more complicated than saying “I feel your pain, brother!” … I mean, the 1960s were over a long time ago!).

In the meantime, think about the challenging people you’ve encountered.  When they gave voice to their anger and annoyance, how did that affect your meeting?  What did you feel?  What did you do?  What did you wish you had done instead in thinking about it later?

To your success!

Warmly,

Sharon J

Categories
Marketing Personal Development

5 Questions To Qualify Photographers Beyond Their Portfolio And Price Tag

One of the biggest misconceptions about choosing the photographer that’s best for your needs is that you base that decision solely on the photographers price tag and portfolio.

In one sense, this line of thinking makes sense considering the level of work that you want from a photographer must aptly represent the style and presentation you’re looking to get from your image content, while living comfortably within your budget.

But, be warned.

If you do that, you’re setting yourself up to potentially waste your investment of time and money.

How come?

A successful and valuable portrait session is not solely dictated by the skill of the photographer behind the camera and how comfortable you are with paying for this skill.

Yes, these are absolutely important factors to consider, but, the work that they’ve created in the past does not mean they’ll necessarily be able to produce the same results by working with you.

There are many more variables to consider when hiring a photographer that’s right for you.

First, is there a natural rapport and connection between you two? Second, are they ready to help define and support your objectives and goals that you have for your portrait session?

In order to answer these questions, you must do some digging when you have these potential photographers on the phone by asking them the right questions that will clearly illustrate whether or not they are a good fit to work with you.

When you feel energized and confident after getting off the phone with them because you now have a clear understanding of who they are, how they work AND how good they are in producing magazine-quality portraits that present you as the expert you are, you’ll be in a much better place to make your decision.

After all, you don’t just want to hire a button pusher with a fancy camera – it’s essential to work with a collaborator in your success – and that’s what you really need in order to get the image content that’s required for your website, social posts, blog articles, speaker submissions, ads, and everything else associated with marketing your business online and in print.

With that in mind, what are the questions that you need to ask?

I’m glad you inquired, 🙂

Let’s go through some important ones…

How do you make your clients comfortable in front of the camera?

This is huge.

Why?

When you fake it in front of the camera, it will show all over your face.

You want to work with a photographer who has the type of personality that will inspire you to drop your guard, get you out of your head thinking about every perceived blemish on your appearance and into the moment so that your body language and expressions on your face are natural to who you are.

When you’re on the phone with this potential photographer, pay close attention to how they answer this question, and think to yourself whether or not this person will inspire comfort and confidence out of you. Is their voice soothing? Does the tone they use resonate with me? Do they make me laugh? Will I be comfortable being open and honest with him/her during the session?

It doesn’t matter how amazing the photographer’s portfolio is – if you don’t feel comfortable with this person in the same room with you – you’ll never get the photos that your business requires.

How do you direct during a session? Are you quiet or very talkative? Technically driven? How do you do your thing?

This question is along the same lines as the one above, although it allows you to get in the weeds a little bit more with respect to their process, giving you the opportunity to see if their directing style meshes well with your sensibilities.

Do you prefer someone to talk non-stop throughout the session in order for you to stay focused on the present moment? Or, are you super confident in front of the camera, have done this a million times and need minimal direction in order to produce the types of portraits you need to promote yourself?

That needs to be answered by you and you alone.

Once you know what you need in order to maximize the results of the session, ask the photographer how he/she works, and you’ll know immediately whether or not this particular photographer is a good fit for you.

Have you worked with a (your specialization) in the past? How did it go?

One of the primary issues with image content within the speaker, author, coach and high-level entrepreneur communities is that the portraits they post are not quite what they need to truly resonate with their audiences.

Yes, there’s a lot of beautiful work out there, and these thought leaders look as spectacular in their photos as they do when they’re on stage presenting, but, there’s something missing…

…it’s not enough to simply look your best in your images – that’s just a stud in the foundation.

You also need your image content to visually punctuate the sentiments and emotion of every story that you share with your audience in order to truly gain their attention and advocacy.

Remember – the primary goal of leveraging image content is to build connection and rapport with your audience

As a result, you need images that not only flatter and accentuate your appearance, but they also need to clearly illustrate who you are, who you serve, and why you do what you do.  

How do you achieve this?

Don’t just stare into the camera and look pretty!

Create lifestyle portraits that show your audience how you work, how you work with clients (virtually, in person, etc), and how do you brainstorm your thought leadership.

(Side note – it’s also important to present powerful images of you speaking from the stage, but, that’s a separate component that I’ll elaborate on in future articles.)

These types of portraits de-mystify your process, breaks down the fourth wall and allows for your audience to envision what working with you looks like, which goes a long way to establishing trust.

When you pose this question to a potential photographer, it will generate an answer that will let you know whether or not this photographer understands what you need or is just focused on making you look good in front of the camera. 

And believe me, I don’t know one photographer that doesn’t want their clients to look good, 🙂

Do you provide a pre-session strategy call, and if so, what do we go over specifically?

If the answer is no, then this is your cue to politely end the call.

Why?

If you work with a photographer who opts to “wing it,” then they are not going to get you what you need. They are not truly collaborating in your success. How are they supposed to know what you need? Telepathy? Magic?

You’re an established pro and it’s essential that you receive that same level of professionalism and investment from your photographer in order to produce the images are required for your business.

Good photographers who provide excellent results want to know the finer points of what makes you unique and special, and that doesn’t happen without a lengthy conversation.

For example, when I was starting out my photography business, I conducted private portrait session without a call, and the results varied wildly to say the least.

Now, I interview my clients with a slew of questions meant to bring light to their short-term and long range business goals, what offers they plan on enacting within the next year, what books inspire their thought leadership, their tools of their trades, what types of outfits they wear when working alone or are with clients, questions about their personal hobbies and interests, among many other related topics of interest.

These unique tidbits translate directly into image content that we will capture during their sessions, making it a more personalized and optimized experience.

It’s not a nice to have – it’s a prerequisite.

“Talk to me about the image selection process – will you help me, am I at it alone or is it a combination of the two?”

Some clients have expressed to me that in their past portrait sessions, the scariest part was not the session itself, but afterwards, when the photographer would send them a link to a gallery filled to the brim with images and left it up to them to figure out which ones they wanted to purchase.

Um, yeah – that’s overwhelming for many people, and not a lot of fun to work through alone.

With regard to my process, I love sitting down and reviewing every single image I capture with my clients – it’s like Christmas morning and I’m a grandmother watching the joy on their faces as they “unwrap” these portraits one-by-one and see themselves in a way that they’ve never seen before. We talk about how each photo could be best leveraged in their business (social post, website, profile pic, etc), and toss the ones that miss the mark.

My clients appreciate the hand holding, advising and added value to their photo session experience.

Understand what your ideal experience is with respect to selecting images and ask the question to see if the photographer on the phone is prepared to provide you with the help and guidance that you require.

Engaging in a portrait session is an extremely intimate experience, make no mistake about it.

You’re putting yourself under a microscope for several hours, sharing your vulnerabilities with a person photographing them non-stop.

It’s a scary, or, at the very least, time-consuming proposition, but, if you seek to create a memorable and referable online presence, it’s absolutely essential that you get this part right.

By qualifying the people behind the camera before you set one foot in front of the camera, you’re setting yourself up for a wildly successful and beneficial session.

—

John DeMato is a NYC-based lifestyle portrait photographer and content creation expert who serves speakers, authors, coaches and high-level entrepreneurs across the country. He also has a 3x weekly blog that shares a variety of strategies, insights and tactics related to presenting yourself memorably and powerfully through your online presence.