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What Mask Are You Wearing Right Now?

“The mask you wear is a display to others of who you are. Always be aware of when and why you’re wearing that mask.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

What mask are you wearing today and how many times will you change it? The mask you wear affects your psyche.

A mask is a metaphor for the persona you project to others. It’s how you represent who you are. It’s the way you wish them to perceive you and the way you see yourself. Depending on the circumstances, you’ll wear different masks at different times throughout the day.

Some might say, changing your mask alters who you are; you’re not authentic. But who are you, and who’s to say when you’re authentic? You’re not who you were five years ago, or five minutes ago; you’ve changed. Does that make you inauthentic? No!

Since change occurs daily, moment to moment, do you not continuously morph into who you just became, while transitioning into who you’re becoming? In that transition, do you observe who you are in that moment? By being observant, you’ll note the direction in which your life is heading. You’ll note if you require change before displaying the mask you’re about to adopt. That will allow you to morph into a different mask to cast a different persona if you require it.

The point is, if you recognize the mask you’re wearing at any time and you’re aware of why you’re wearing it, you’ll be more mindful of why you display the personality you project, what promotes you to do so, and the circumstances that lead you to that point. You’ll have greater control of your life, the purpose for which you’re living, and a greater sense of where you’re headed in life.

So, what mask are you wearing right now and why are you wearing it right now? If you have an answer to that question, it’ll be easier to change that mask when it’s warranted. That will also mean that you’re at a higher level of recognition and control of your life. Those are invaluable factors from which to sustain growth, harmony, and success in life. Do that … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In every negotiation, negotiators wear multiple masks. It’s called their persona. They do so to create and project the right image for a phase in the negotiation that’s appropriate for that phase. The mask they adopt adds to the perception you have of them. It may be a mask of harshness, sorrow, bullying, or tenderness. Its intent is to affect your psyche. The mask worn may represent negative manipulation, which is different from one worn to serve the greater good of the negotiation.

You must be mindful of the mask you perceive, as much as the one you project. Your mask intertwines with the other negotiator’s mask. Therefore, the mask that both of you display is based on what’s perceived.

If you want to increase your negotiation abilities, you need to know how and when to adopt a mask that suits the situation. You must be savvy when detecting the purpose of the mask shown throughout the negotiation, too. By enhancing your mental agility to observe, detect, and adopt the appropriate persona during different stages of the negotiation, you’ll experience more winning negotiation outcomes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mind #Brain #Thinking #Success #Emotion #Lies #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #Mask #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Do You Expand Your Mind for Greater Success?

 “You expand your mind based on the way you think. To heighten that expansion, focus on the way you think.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“If you could be everywhere at the same time, where would you be?” Puzzled, the recipient of the question said, “If I could be everywhere at the same time, I wouldn’t have to decide where to be.” Wrong, was the reply. “Even if you could be everywhere you’d still have to focus on being in the place that offered the greatest possibility for success”, was the retort.

As we go through life, we learn new things every day. Those that apply learned lessons from one environment into another maximize their learning.

Some people discover new ways to solve problems, apply that new knowledge against other problems and discover that something has changed for the better. Then, they stop, never realizing that they’re more applications for which that new knowledge can prove to be beneficial.

There are times we seek to solve a problem and only focus on one solution. We do so without considering other possible solutions. For example, let’s say you’re looking for a hammer to drive a nail. If you only focus on finding a hammer, you’d omit the thought that you might use a shoe, brick, piece of wood, or any object that wasn’t fragile for that purpose.

By shifting your paradigm from needing a hammer and instead focusing it on what you might use to solve the problem, you expand your thought process. In doing that, you discover new ways to address other challenges. But, you must possess an open mind before that can occur.

Throughout my consultations, trainings, and presentations, I suggest to people that they think about the way they think. I provide the insight above to highlight that.

If you become more aware of the problems you encounter and the resolutions to solve them, you’ll increase your awareness of the wondrous ways of conquering them. That will take you to a higher plane of success from which you’ll view your life’s opportunities from a whole new spectrum … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, you’ll encounter challenges and impasses that hampers a negotiation’s success. The determining factor for success will lie in the way you attempt to address such challenges. If you rely on tried and true solutions that worked in the past and they prove to be ineffective, you might succumb to the challenge. Instead, if you think with an expanded mind, one that’s not fixated on one solution, you can turn impasses into learning experiences that lead to greater insights.

So, constantly ask yourself in a negotiation and other facets of your life, how can I use what I’ve learned in one environment and apply it to another situation.

If you constantly look at situations as entries to greater opportunities and insights, your endeavors will adopt a platform from which greater knowledge will flow. First, you must open your mind to having an open mind about how you perceive challenges, problems, and situations. It’s through that open mind that new and greater success will flow.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mind #Success #Emotion #Lies #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

The Hidden Value of Imperfection

“No one is perfect but knowing your imperfections will help you spot the imperfections in others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When was the last time you met someone that was perfect? If you can recall such a person, you had one of two thoughts. You thought this person is perfect, as you swooned with bliss, or you thought this person is perfect, in a mocking tone to yourself.

No one is perfect. If you’ve associated with someone that’s perfect, you haven’t been with them long enough to see their imperfections. That’s not to speak ill of them because there’s value in imperfection.

The way you view the imperfections of others speaks to the realistic perspective you have of them. That perspective can also keep you from following their leads when such would take you over the edge, off a cliff, into the sublime. Whatever cliché you choose, you get the gist of my meaning. As an aside, that’s also how some people become splayed for swindling.

It’s important to consider the imperfections of those with whom you congregate, because of the shadowy subliminal force of influence they cast. Consider the times when you enter activities that don’t serve your needs or goals, but you do so anyway. Understand, those are moments when you’re moved by unseen forces from your associates. You should consider attributing some sources of your actions to their influence and recognize it as such; you should also attribute your positive actions to such forces. Therein lies the value of an associate’s imperfections. Your recognition of their imperfections will lead you upon a different path.

We all have imperfections. The more willing you are about displaying yours, and accepting others for what their imperfections are worth, the greater will be your recognition of reality. That should lead to greater opportunities for you and those that you engage with … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

There are benefits to positioning yourself as someone that’s less than perfect in a negotiation; you appear to be more authentic. Thus, what you proport as reality will adopt a more realistic appeal. You may be familiar with the phrase, “keep it real”. That implies that you should keep the B.S. at bay, along with how you present your offers. To maximize your efforts, align your offer/counteroffers with the beliefs of the other negotiator’s reality. The more you match his beliefs (i.e. that which he senses as value and being real), the more valuable and acceptable will be you and your offers.

When negotiating, the display of imperfections can also be a double-edged sword. That sword can serve as fodder or the deliverance of a soul worthy of appreciation and value. You and the other negotiator will make that assessment.

To position yourself correctly, know of the expectations related to the type of negotiator your opponent wishes to negotiate with. Know also how you can match that expectation. Keep in mind that some negotiators want to display their knowledge in a helpful manner, while others will attempt to do so as a form of manipulation. So, be mindful of the role you’re casting as pertaining to how you should cast that role.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Imperfection #hiddenvalue #Emotion #Lies #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What’s the Difference Between a Lie and the Truth?

“A lie is only believable if you accept it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Person 1: “I could tell he was lying.” Person 2: ‘How?” Person 1: “Because his words were unbelievable!” Person 2: “I missed that.”

Do you know the difference between a lie and the truth? It’s the degree to which you believe either. Let me explain.

As you’re hearing something, you assess to what degree it may be true; in part, that’s based on what you’ve known to be true from your past experiences. You continue to assess the believability of something the more you hear of it. You wonder to what degree the truth is stretched, at the point when words become suspect. As you continue to listen, once they’re stretched past your point of believability, you then consider the words to be lies.

Intellectually you may be aware of the process stated above. But, do you raise your sense of awareness to recognize the thought process you’re engaged in when it’s occurring? It’s important that you do so. In doing so, you raise your sense of consciousness to what’s said, which means you may become alert to prior passages that you overlooked. That also means, you may have allowed lies to go unchallenged, which emboldens its purveyor to continue lying.

There’s a thin line between a lie and the truth. Sometimes, it’s thinner based on who’s telling the story and who the listener is. To protect yourself in interactions with others, note what’s said, when it’s said, and the environment in which it’s said. In doing so, you’ll gain greater insight into the motivation behind when and why words part from the truth. That will also be the point when your sense of keenness insulates you from the mental depravity that occurs when one is falsely led by lies. You’ll truly be protecting yourself from mental anguish … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Most negotiators will misrepresent the truth during negotiations. It’s a fact and if you don’t think it occurs you’re being pollyannaish. Recognize that for what it’s worth.

Consider this, if a negotiator completely disclosed his circumstances, he’d expose his vulnerability and weaken his position. Thus, to prevent that from occurring, he’ll withhold aspects of his position to enhance his outcome. He’ll stretch the truth to accomplish that means. By noting his stretch point, you gain insight into his source of motivation. That will lend insight into the importance of the point. You can hone that insight to create discomfort for him. Do so and observe how quickly he wants to move from away from that discomfort. As an aside, the more he wants to move from that point, the more angst he’ll be displaying about his uncomfortableness.

It’s said that all lies are born from truth. That means a lie is only a lie to the degree that the people involved believe it to be. In your negotiations, understand the purpose that a lie serves and you’ll have greater insight as to where the truth lies.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Emotion #Lies #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Emotional Currency Do You Accept?

“Emotional currency is the exchange we engage in when seeking self-satisfaction.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I was just promoted and received the title of ‘Junior Assistant’ in the PR department. I don’t care if others in the department with my skill set are making $13k more than me. I’m a ‘Junior Assistant’!”

Those were the words of a very jubilant individual that was more satisfied with a title than money. His fulfillment came from the emotional currency he’d received that made him feel complete.

What emotional currency do you accept when seeking to placate your needs and wants? The more you’re aware of how and when emotional currency moves you, the greater the chance you’ll have to control the degree of your acceptance of it.

Emotional currency can come in many forms. It can be in the form of a raise; you have more money and thus, you feel better about yourself due to your new financial status. It can stem from acceptance of you by a group or others; you feel wanted. It’s also born from the elevation of your mental wellbeing as the result of how you see yourself. It can also be a manipulator used against you.

So, why should you be aware of the emotional currency you accept and when you accept it? The answer lies in what you’ll do to obtain it based on the circumstances you’re in. A moment ago, I stated that emotional currency can be a tool of manipulation. That means, when you’re emotionally depressed, you’re more likely to leap at the opportunity to enhance your emotional state of mind; a high state of emotional satisfaction is something that everyone seeks. All of us should know our limits so that we don’t merge into a limitless desire to obtain what we need. Plus, the more attuned you are to your emotional needs, the better you’ll be at making decisions that are beneficial to your long-term wellbeing.

You’ve more than likely heard the statement, ‘get a grip’. That means you should control your desires. Once you raise your awareness about the emotional currency you deal in, and the sources from which it’s refilled, you’ll be more mindful of determining the sources you’ll allow to replenish your needs … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, value is perceptional. That perception is based on where you are in the moment of the negotiation. If someone attempts to assuage your feelings by telling you how great a negotiator you are, depending on your emotional state of mind, that compliment may be all it takes to take you for all you have.

Be keenly alert when someone begins to heap praise upon you during a negotiation, especially if it seems to appear out of nowhere. More than likely it’s a ploy to enhance your emotional currency. The real thought may belie the exact opposite of the compliment that’s used to mollify you. To keep from being ‘played like a chump’, accept compliments given to you, but don’t let them deter you from your goals of achieving what you want. Be steadfast in your quest and see what becomes of the compliments. Therein will lie the uncovering of their real intent.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Emotion #Currency #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Lie To Me, Please

“Alternative facts are aversions to the truth, to the degree that the truth remains concealed.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Okay. If you say that wasn’t you, I’ll believe you. Just know, the person I saw from 15 feet away looked just like you. Even more, when I called your name, the person that wasn’t you turned around, saw me, and hurriedly left the area. As that person scurried away, they walked like you, too.”

Do you know why some people will allow others to lie to them, accept the lie, and be okay doing so? The answer lies in one’s current circumstances and the environment they’re in.

1. Some people will subjugate themselves because of their circumstances (e.g. the liar is the one that pays the bills, earns the money in the relationship, is dominant in the relationship, etc.)

2. They do so for the better good of others that are involved.

3. In other cases, the target of the lie wants to be perceived as fitting into the norms of the group they belong to; to do otherwise might mean expulsion from the group.

4. In yet other situations, it’s easier for some people to accept an altered reality because the truth would hurt too badly (e.g. I can’t believe they’d do that to me. It must not be true.)

5. Some people may go along for a while to see what a liar will do next.

Here’s the point. We’re all driven by our emotions. Thus, our emotions will lend insight into what we’re willing to believe and accept. It’s not until that belief is too heavy a burden to bear that we change our beliefs about others and ourselves. That’s when we’ll take our life in a new direction.

Always be aware of why someone possesses certain beliefs. Having that insight will allow you to understand the person’s source of motivation and thinking. That will also allow you to better assist that individual in determining what reality really is. You’ll be able to use that to benefit yourself and them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, there will be times when you sense that the other negotiator is lying. You may gather such sensations from the manner that the opposing negotiator conveys certain sentiments via their body language (e.g. leaning away when defining a statement as the truth, altering the pitch of their voice while constantly looking away from you when doing so, fidgeting with other items in their proximity).

In such situations, it may behoove you to allow the liar to continue his lies to understand the characteristics of the person you’re dealing with. You may also do so if he’s telling little white lies so as not to embarrass him. Then, when that position no longer serves you, consider confronting him to validate his perception of the truth versus what he professes it to be.

Always remember, people will only do to you what you allow them to do. That means you have a degree of control in every environment you’re in. When it comes to dealing with those that lie incessantly, recognize them for who and what they are and deal with them appropriately.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions