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Category: Health and Wellness

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Best Practices Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management

What If Your Dream Came to Life?

What if you could breathe life into one of your dreams?

What follows is step by step guide to help if you’re really interested in achieving your wish this year, set aside a block of time for the next few days, get yourself a notebook or open a file on your computer and give yourself the luxury of reflecting and seriously considering what dreams may come. 

How to Fulfill Your Dreams

1. Select a Dream:

Think about the different dreams you have.  In your imagination, step into each one of them, one at a time and experience what life would be like when you realize that dream. What do you see? Hear? Feel?

  • What changes?What’s good about it?
  • What’s not as good as you hoped?
  • How might you change it for the better?
  • After you explore the impact of having those dreams, pick one that you’d most like to bring to life.

2. Analyze what you need to do to make that dream come true:

  • What skills and strengths are required for your goal?
  • Which do you currently have?
  • Which do you need to acquire?  How can you acquire them?

3. What hurtles might present themselves:

  • What might get in the way?
  • How can you problem solve those potential obstacles?

4. Find a champion:

Find folks who can listen and respond, who can provide an outside perspective as well as cheerlead you.  These may be people you know or you might join a local or online meet-up of people with similar goals. Or start your own meet-up. Set up meetings with them to discuss your dreams and bring them to life.

5. Create a Plan:

Just like making a business plan, create a reasonable,  step-by-step personal plan with tasks, actions and deadlines along the way.

6. State your intentions publicly.

By sharing your dream out loud with others, you magnify your cheering squad many times.  It’s like telling people you’ll stop smoking.  The success rate rises dramatically because there are many others beside yourself that you want to avoid letting down.

Similarly, if your goal implies a new capability or accomplishment, start referring to yourself as such.  I’m Jane the artist; Jim the author; Jen the marathon runner; Dan the pianist.

7. Find a partner to hold you accountable:

Meet with him/her in person, by phone, online at least weekly to review the actions you’ve taken and refine your plan on a regular basis.

To learn more about creating and achieving your personal and career goals click here.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Leadership

Don’t Discount this Leadership Diet

Recently I decided to detox with a liquid diet to flush all the nasty toxins to the curb.  I hate to admit it but my mind seemed sharper, my joints ached less and I could watch an entire episode of the House of Cards when I sat on my couch at 8pm.  The best part of this total change of my diet?  My tennis game stepped up a notch during my abstinence from unhealthy food and beverages.

What does this have to do with leadership? Statarius is still in growth mode and for those entrepreneurs reading this, you understand the physical demands when you share your passion continually during the start-up phase.  My team and I aspire for our clients to be more than just satisfied, we want them to be delighted.  That takes an enormous amount of time, energy and relationship-building.

As the company flourishes, the tasks and details exponentially grow like weeds in the yard. Like you I attempt to kill those pesky weeds with the prescribed killer recommended at the local home store.  But what is prescribed for completing the myriad of tasks and details, other than possibly cloning myself?  Delegation was the answer for me. 

Trust me, at first I wasn’t keen on delegating those important tasks and details to my team.  My prescription was the delegation diet to lose some of those details that would bog down my day.  Do you remember the best seller from 1985 entitled The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey?  Indulge me a moment, and visualize yourself, with monkeys hanging onto your every limb, weighing you down.  My delegation diet included letting my team own and feed the monkeys that kept me from growing the company.  As you focus on your team’s individual strengths, high performers will develop and hone personal strengths, while learning how to handle their monkeys. 

The adrenaline you enjoy from crossing off an item on your to-do list is a nice rush of endorphins that keep you coming back for more.  Yes, it can be addictive.  But, as you delegate your monkeys, the rush of pride and endorphins is doubled.  Actually, watch out for this twice as intense addiction!  The proud team smiles after successful completion of a difficult task plus my realization that 4x the amount could be accomplished during the day blew me away!  To our client’s delight, I tried the delegation diet and relinquished my monkeys to my team. 

Another possible reason for those achy joints, tired mind and exhausted body, I was just carrying around too many monkeys!  No more liquid detox diets for me, I’ll advocate for the delegation diet.  So what monkey will you put up for adoption today?

“It is in giving that we receive.” – Francis of Assisi

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management

Begin with the End in Mind

Goals

As I was learning about psychology, research, and training, I read Stephen Covey’s highly successful bestseller, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”

What he said made so much sense to me.  It was inspiring and challenging.  And it helped me understand the importance of goals. I wanted to talk with him, learn more from him. But, I didn’t know him.  I had no contacts connected to him.  What to do . . .

I’d learned that working with corporate clients was a way to learn from them as well as help them with their projects. What if I could do that here too?

I created an experiment.  The goal was finding a way to actually work with Dr. Covey.

I’m sure you know what must have happened or I wouldn’t be telling this story.

After 6 months of reaching out to his admin on a consistent schedule, I finally got to speak with Dr. Covey.  It was so exciting. My heart was pounding at first. Really?  I was actually speaking with one of my idols.

He calmed me down with his soothing voice and we had a great talk. One result was an in-depth research project where I interviewed his clients and prospects on his Brand in comparison to that of none other than – Tony Robbins. Stephen Covey was often compared to Tony Robbins.  Yet, the two were viewed as opposites in many ways. Both were well regarded, but spoke to different audiences who had their own unique needs for inspiration and growth.

More importantly, I accomplished my goal of working with Dr. Covey and putting into action what I learned.  I now train coaches on the specifics of helping their clients clarify their goal and creating a plan to get there.  And I received a wonderful testimonial.  So exciting, rewarding and satisfying . . .

“I was totally impressed by both the character and competence of Dr. Livingston.  Her ability to draw people out in unique and creative ways and apply the gathered data to complicated analyses made my experience working with her highly memorable and rewarding.”  
Stephen Covey. NY Time Best Selling Author. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Back to you.

What do you hope to accomplish with a potential career change to Coaching? How might that bring you more satisfaction in your life?

A great coach helps clients stay on track to their goal in a timely manner and be accountable. We train you to do that with others as well as help you do that for yourself.

Thinking about getting certified as a Professional Coach? Want to talk about it? Or any questions you have about professional coaching? Let’s talk and see whether or not it makes sense for you to become a certified professional coach.

To Learn About Our Upcoming Fast Track Certification Workshop This March in New York City

The cost of $75 for the 30 minute consultation can be applied to the TLC Professional Coach Training program if you decide to join.

Next tip will be along tomorrow.

Warmest regards,

Sharon 🙂

Dr. Sharon Livingston

www.DrSharonLivingston.com

603 505 5000 cell

DrSharonLivingston@Gmail.com

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Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Women In Business

What to do When Whatever Can Happen Suddenly Does and Tries to Destroy Your Meeting – Part 2

You’ve just been attacked verbally by a super-irate member of your meeting.  Your heart is pounding.  Your eyes are wide.  The rest of the group is focused on you for help.  What the heck?!  Who signed me up for this???!!!!

Here’s one technique to feel more centered and apart from your own emotional reactions when aggression is expressed.  Experience yourself observing while simultaneously leading.  You can take an emotional step back from involvement in the group by imagining that you’re watching a movie; the story is unfolding before your eyes and you can watch and think about the characters, the plot and the implications from a slightly removed vantage point. We thereby spare ourselves the stress and high emotions that can distort perceptions of the findings as well as jeopardize our ability to lead.

By the way, in marketing research focus groups, this is excellent advice for the observers in the backroom. As we’ve all experienced, it’s often difficult for clients to hear negative and emotionally charged feedback about their brain children. And, who could blame them? Their jobs are on the line.  Their self-esteem about their own creative process which brought the test ideas into being are being challenged and shot down in a moment, while they may have spent months or even years coming to the point where they are brave enough to expose them to their audiences. It’s natural that clients are likely to take any attacks on their products and advertising personally making it difficult to listen with an open mind.

It is therefore a wise idea for clients to have the safety of the movie metaphor. And it works well with the focus group set up. Watching the “movie” through the glass is a logical extension of the physical environment.  The window is like a large screen. The seats are lined up in tiers. It’s dark like a movie theatre. Many facilities even serve popcorn to encourage the sense of more passive viewing and listening.

However, it’s a totally different situation in the front room as the leader. The facilitator might pretend that she/he is the focusing lens of the camera, but… the problem occurs when the monster in the movie slowly turns its head, catches the camera’s eye and focuses his fury right into the audience’s face. We all know how frightening that is when that character seems to come off the big screen and become aware of you as viewer.  Our safe seat in the auditorium is now confronted by the scary beast. An icy chill streaks up our spine. Our hearts begin to race. Our eyes widen. Some will utter a frightened, HUH!! If the change
in the monster’s demeanor and attention comes out of the blue, the intensity of our reactions is greater.

Imagine how much worse that is when an angry group member captures the moderator’s eye and blasts him/her with a tirade of emotion intended for God knows what, his boss,  his father/mother, or anyone else who has made them angry. While we can sit safely in the movie theatre just having our momentary feeling of fright, in the leader’s seat we must have strategies in place for dealing with these people.

Art Shulman, a friend of mine who has attended our training and learned about our Snow White Theory for dealing with the various types of characters in the group, wrote a comic tongue-in-cheek account of his version of The Hulk appearing in one of his sessions.

Here’s a synopsis and a small excerpt.  Thank you Art!:

Apparently, an already transformed, surly, Hulk-like look-a-like known as “Beast” presented himself in one of Art’s groups (or perhaps hypothetical groups). In the go round he growled and snarled at the group and at Art.  Art, silently, but frantically tried to recall all of the interventions he had learned to employ in dealing with difficult people. He jokingly reflects to himself things like:

  • Slip him a Mickey?
  • Pull out a can of Mace?
  • Use the ejector seat?

Then he tells us that he remembered the seating position behavior he learned about for working with difficult respondents. He invites Beast, AKA Grumpy or Hulk who is sitting in the confrontational, counter-leadership position at the end of the table to switch seats with Happy who is sitting in the compliant seat to the leader’s immediate right. He correctly explains that the chair opposite the leader is likely to be taken by a provoking, challenging character. One way to change behavior is to literally change the person’s seat.

In Art’s Group Thriller, he has this Grumpy Beast switch his seat with Happy, the character most likely to support the leader. Then Art announced to the group that the topic of the session was Christmas stockings, where upon our Grumpy Hulk uttered a thunderous rumbling sound like that of a volcano about to erupt, turned to him and the people in the backroom, and in growing ferocity picked up a chair and flung it at the mirror.

Once our imaginary respondent, Beast, released the pent up frustration that had been growing to a breaking point, he was able to express the softer feelings and reasons why.

In Art’s words:

“Then, as we all looked on, Beast sat back down and became tearful,. .’Every December I apply for jobs as Santa Claus. But I’m always rejected once they find out I’m a professional wrestler’

For the rest of the session he was a pussycat, making all sorts of  useful suggestions to increase sales of my client’s product”

* * *

With just a little luck, nothing this extreme will ever happen to you when you’re leading a group or meeting. Yet there is that nagging old Murphy reminding us that anything can and will. The sheer knowledge of this possibility, no matter how rare, keeps us needing to have an approach to handle the most difficult respondents even though most groups are comprised of amiable, cooperative people.

An important intervention for your consideration:

I would like to suggest a little tactic to have in your back pocket that you can rely on if Murphy and The Hulk show up in your meeting and scare you with a roar and the mighty muscle that looks like he can back it up.  It is a very simple technique that diffuses the raw emotion of this grumpy person. And remember, all of us have the capacity for being quite grumpy at times, when provoked.

The unexpected outburst starts. Allow the participant to vent and finish his/her little tirade. You will be feeling the attack and so will the rest of the group. If you are like most people when confronted with such a strong assault your heart is racing and you probably feel a little frightened yourself not unlike the shock I felt when the computer came crashing down on my head out of seemingly nowhere.

Remind yourself to take a breath. It will be over soon.

You can give yourself time to think and recover from your pounding heart and dazed feeling AND at the same time, help this angry person calm down by saying: “I am sorry could you repeat that…I want to be sure I really understood what you said.”

While it may sound counter intuitive to invite this furious fomentation to be unleashed yet again, it actually has the reverse effect.  It is at once both an extraordinarily simple AND extraordinarily powerful intervention.

Here’s why:

– Asking the person to repeat what was just expressed protects you from attempting to engage in a rational conversation with an irrational person (which is kind of like
trying to get your dog to teach you Calculus … you’ll just irritate him and get him to bark louder).

Our job is to keep the group communication constructive, reasonably logical and goal oriented (despite any needs to recognize emotional motivation.) The overly aggressive attacker is not able to contribute to this in their initial state of anger.

– Second, the meaning and intent of the overly aggressive  communication is usually quite clouded by the intensity of his adrenalin. It’s hard to decipher the meaning and
implications out from underneath the intensity of his emotional outburst.

The tone of your voice should communicate genuine interest in hearing the meaning of his/her words. You are asking so that you can help this person better articulate what they are thinking.

Like the Hulk who requires a build up of energy to fuel his fiery temper, the aggressive participant’s raw emotion has been spent. It will take time, energy and a sense of annoyance and irritation to rebuild for there to be another volcanic eruption.  When the participant repeats what was originally spat out in a rage, he/she will now express it far more calmly with far less feeling and agitation. This will give you an opportunity to:

* Recuperate, calm down, collect your thoughts and think of your next question

* Invite the group to react to the content of his message rather than the inappropriate emotion.

Then, in order to further help Grumpy respond in a way which will help him be more cooperative, ask “object oriented[4], easy questions with regard to the content. Examples would be:

– When did this happen?
– Where were you?
– How did you get there?
– Who was there?

People calm down when given the opportunity to answer simple factual question which have definite answers, having nothing to do with their opinions. (The reason is, opinions reside INSIDE a person’s head … they are ideas one has to ‘defend’, whereas facts are things that are usually more objectively verifiable, thus carrying less of a need for personal
defense).

In contrast, asking a very upset person “why?” (to which they may or may not know the answer, and which certainly puts them on the spot to defend their position) may create more anxiety and refuel their upset.

You might also, (at some point after the problem person has re-verbalized their aggression and been helped to calm down with these simple factual questions), acknowledge the problem or concern he has, then repeat it to the person to make sure you (and the rest
of the group) understands the issue.

What works about this approach?

You demonstrated that you have respect for her/him [as well as the others in the group] by accepting his reaction and wanting to hear more.

You remained apparently calm and avoided counter attacking and dismissing him. (That’s hard to do when someone is attacking you. During an aggressive confrontation, it’s natural to want to fight fire with fire.)

You indicated interest in finding out what he is really thinking and validated him by letting him know that you believe there is an important message beyond the fireworks.

You treated the issue as important to her/him, even though it might not be so for others, showing your interest in his and everyone’s reactions.

You demonstrated acceptance of his feelings to make it possible for him to talk without having to use intense emotional outbursts to get your attention.

You used the window of calm after the storm to reestablish your leadership in the group and take control

At the same time, you gave the other group members a moment to catch their breath too and calm down from the onslaught so you could all return to the task at hand.

Incidentally, Art was right about seating position. It’s much easier for an angry meeting participant to assert dominance and attempt to steal the floor if they can make eye contact with the leader. Acknowledging via eye contact invites the other to talk and interact. [You know how they
say to avoid eye contact with a crazy looking person when you’re walking the streets of Manhattan.] So either change his seat or change the balance of power by getting up, moving around the room and making it difficult for him/her to look you in the eye until this person has demonstrated that she/he can be cooperative.

When all else fails, from another fairy tale, keep a pitcher of water handy to melt the wicked witch. [Just kidding of course, but it’s only fair to note that Super-Grumpies come in both genders].

And remember, Murphy’s law is very unlikely to come to pass. Most meetings are comprised of people who want to be there and share their ideas rather than hitting you on the head with a heavy metal black box.

Hmmmm.  Maybe Dennis the flight attendant was the Incredible Hulk?

Wishing you great meetings!

Want to learn more about leading groups?  Contact me http://www.DrSharonLivingsto.com to find out about our upcoming training sessions or email me directly at DrSharonLivingston@gmail.com

[1] Wasn’t sure if he was just annoyed with me for invading his space or if he saw my strange behavior as a function of menopausal madness.  If he had only known the secrets for assuaging potentially aggressive reactions, we might have had a pleasant flight..

[2] After sharing my experience with other QRC’s I heard a story that topped this one.  A moderator was sitting in First Class.  During take off, a bottle of wine flew out of the galley, hit her in the head and knocked her unconscious!  We really have a high risk occupation, friends.

[3]  Grumpy is an icon for one of the 7 characters that show up in any group. Anyone unfamiliar with my metaphor that respondents in a focus group tend to assume the role of one of the seven dwarves from the classic 1800’s tale can visit http://www.snowwhitetheory.com/ for a description of all the postures people take in a group meeting and suggestions for how to handle them

[4] An object oriented question is just a factual question that has an easily identifiable right answer. An opinion might be judged, making the respondent anxious, but factual queries are experienced as safe.

 

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

What to do When Whatever Can Happen Suddenly Does and Tries to Destroy Your Meeting – Part I

You know Murphy’s Law – the idea that whatever can happen, will.  Just this very busy, post holiday season I was reminded of a time that Murphy’s Law struck again. Literally!

What reminded me about it was this week’s marathon of groups and still another exciting moment on AA.  [Not alcoholics anonymous, American Airlines.].   My certified, regulation rollie would not fit in the overhead no matter how I tried to squish it, turn it, wheels first, handle first, sideways, upside down, just no way.   Nor would it fit under the supposedly regulation space under the seat in front of me.  [NOT!]  The flight attendant with the frazzled high pitched squeaky voice told me I had to check it.  She also told me I had to take it out to the gate, but of course there was no time to do that.  I wouldn’t get back on the flight.  To the dismay of my fellow passengers lined up behind me and quite a little frantic myself, I hurriedly opened my bag ,wrenched out my boots, my 3 hard cover books including focus group bashing, “How Customers Think”, and an awkwardly shaped dispenser of progesterone cream [how mortifying] – all of which were preventing squishage.  With those items sprawled over my seat and that of my seat mate [who was waiting behind me and who never spoke to me through out the 4 hour flight][1] I was finally able to compress the bag enough that I could jam it into the compartment.  After I stowed my boots, books and embarrassing bio basics, I settled into my seat and couldn’t help but recall another Murphy moment a number of years ago.

I was on another plane.  My fourteen pound Think Pad was on my lap. (Don’t ask me why I had such a heavy laptop. Pretty ridiculous I know. But I like having all the bells and whistles of a desk top in a laptop with a big screen.  Gives me a little extra exercise I guess.) Anyway, Dennis, our very pleasant flight attendant told me he would have to stow it overhead for take off, but would give it back to me once we were allowed to use electronic equipment again. And boy did he ever give it to me.  About 20 minutes into the flight,

I caught his eye and asked if this would be a good time to get my computer. “No problem,” he smiled. Famous last words!

Dennis opened the compartment, grasped the computer and… proceeded to drop it on my head. Major OUCH!!!  I saw stars and heard Tweetie birds singing. It crashed onto the top of my head and then clunked down onto my left thumb on it’s way down to attacking the big toe on my sandaled foot. People around me lurched in their seats. Dennis ran for an ice pack.

It hurt.

Mini concussion?  Compressed vertebrae?  Please, no, I had to write up a top line on the study I had just completed on osteoporosis. Getting off the plane at La Guardia, I found myself somewhat dazed and foggy for the next several hours.  The next day, I went to the doctor and was reassured I’d be fine.

What still amazes me is how I went through that trauma with virtually no residual effects. Once my neck was adjusted in the doctor’s office, the shock passed through my
body. My thinking refocused. With a neck adjustment and a little rest, I was fine the next morning.

It was interesting to observe the reactions of the passengers around me in the plane after the jolt of the mini crisis was over. Everyone kept looking up as if another computer would suddenly take wing, fly out of the overhead and crash down on them. They laughed nervously about it, made jokes, but also kept a watchful eye on the overhead compartments, taking time and attention away from working, reading a book or just relaxing. Murphy was nodding knowingly. I’d been flying for many years and have never before seen anyone accosted by a Kamikaze computer or any other item from the overhead[2]. Nevertheless, the
passengers on the plane had become aware of the possibility that such an event could happen and were therefore on heightened alert, anxious that they seemed to have no safeguard in place.

This incredibly rare experience, which left me feeling like the sky might actually be falling for the rest of the day, reminded me of how we group leaders and facilitators sometimes fear an outburst of Murphy’s Law in our group sessions and need to have precautions in place in the unlikely event that the respondent from Hell (“Super Grumpy”) happens to show up in one of our sessions.

In our training classes, people tell us that they most dread the possibility of an encounter with an irate, attacking participant who shows up without warning. While he is probably not likely to appear very frequently, this most feared individual is the transformed “Incredible Hulk” who threatens to destroy group process by explosively regurgitating his intense relevant or irrelevant rage at the leader and all over the group. (Yes – I’m mixing metaphors … Super Grumpy + Incredible Hulk … but I’m doing it on purpose … you’ll see why.)

It could happen. It’s unlikely to happen. In my own 25+ years of running groups it has happened maybe 10 times. However, the unpleasant experience and idea that this wildly uncontrollable character can sabotage the group, the outcome and the image of the leader to his/her client, can leaves you  looking up at the overhead, wondering when a group member’s accidental or purposeful aggression might erupt in the session and land on his head.

A little stage fright is energizing and keeps us on our toes. On the other hand, anxiety over unpredictable aggression without techniques for dealing with it detracts from our ability to perform at our best.

Let’s think about the Incredible Hulk for a minute. This is a basically good guy who is transformed by an impulsive temper into a giant muscle bound monster of fury. I’m going to digress just a bit to tell a little of his story.

Unless you’re a Hulk aficionado you probably don’t know that Bruce Banner, AKA The Incredible Hulk, was a product of an insanely jealous father who murdered Bruce’s mother in a green-eyed rage over her love for her son.  Bruce father then abandoned him and  continually accused him of being evil and reprehensible for all the bad things that had ever happened.  Poor Bruce stayed sane by diverting his grief, hurt and anger to the study of science. He got his doctorate in nuclear physics and went to work at a nuclear research facility, where in a heroic effort to rescue a friend, he was caught in the heart of a nuclear explosion. He mutated into seven feet, one thousand pounds of unfettered fury – the most powerful creature to walk the earth (aside from my husband Glenn, of course).

The disfiguring transformation was triggered by the build up of intense feelings and stress. When his anger was physically expressed and released during his Hulk conversion he would then transform back to his normal easy-to-get along with persona.  However, this was only after wreaking havoc around him, scaring the living daylights out of everyone in sight and knocking off a few people who got him PO’d.

The point of moving from the Super Grumpy[3] metaphor to the Incredible Hulk is … we can all EMPATHIZE with the Incredible Hulk because we know that underneath the fuming façade is a good soul.  Unfortunately, it’s harder to identify with a Super Grumpy when he shows up in our meetings, threatening to destroy us, the group process and the quest for learning or resolution of problems in our groups.  We can forget, that there is a real person with real needs and perhaps important issues that need to be addressed before we can continue with our agenda.

Strange as it may seem, the best way to deal with an overly aggressive, ‘in-your-face’ aggressor is to dig deep inside yourself to find empathy for their feelings. This, of course, is very easy to say, and quite another thing to accomplish.

In Part II, we’ll review the options. (Note: It’s MUCH more complicated than saying “I feel your pain, brother!” … I mean, the 1960s were over a long time ago!).

In the meantime, think about the challenging people you’ve encountered.  When they gave voice to their anger and annoyance, how did that affect your meeting?  What did you feel?  What did you do?  What did you wish you had done instead in thinking about it later?

To your success!

Warmly,

Sharon J

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Please Pass The Puppy

Up until a couple of years ago, anyone who knew me fairly well, knew that I had a wonderful little mascot, Stewie the Shih Tzu. We’d been hanging out together for 13 years and he accompanied me to many places: to work every day when I was in my home office, on the road whenever I could, to my hairdresser, and he sat on my lap in the dentist office.

What you may not know is that Stewie has participated in a number of marketing research, training and creativity events.

It started when he was a two month old puppy. At that time, I had a facility on Long Island. My partner and I were running a creativity session with a pharma company and it’s agency. There were 16 people sitting around the table for many hours, coming up with new ideas for several categories of products. Since Stewie was still so little, I brought him along.  After getting permission from the group, we set up a make shift puppy playpen in the corner just behind my chair.

Not surprisingly, early in the session Stewie started whining a little, so I picked him up and held him in one hand while I continued conducting with my pen in the other.  [Later one of the participants told me that Stewie’s little head kept bobbing up and down following the pen as it drew invisible lines and circles, mirroring the movements of my improvised baton.  Can you tell this puppy was my child?!  I thought everything he did was adorable.]

This was a fairly typical brainstorming session – the group was charged with identifying areas we wanted to develop, getting spontaneous downloads of ideas, using creative excursions to move away from the problem at hand to make new associations, generating possible ideas from the new input and then doing it all over again.  While much of the time was spent in spontaneous talk mode, there was some head down writing involving focused concentration.

For some people that part is tense.  At one point during a writing exercise, a woman lifted her head, turned to me, arm extended and commanded, “Please pass the puppy”  — which of course I did without a blink.  Stewie continued to travel around the room at various times throughout the day providing comedic and warm fuzzy relief when people needed a break or wanted to lessen stress.

Stewie continued his apprenticeship over the years, listening in while providing licks and entertainment to my clients.  Most of the people I work with were thrilled to have him attend and several actually requested him. Why? Because he brought “love” and innocence into the session. He’s spontaneously silly, engaging in hilarious antics that are entertaining. He cuddled, invited petting and patting, gave licks, asked for what he wanted, and was genuinely and obviously appreciative of any attention given to him.

One of my clients, James, loved to have Stewie along. In addition to just enjoying Stewie’s presence and clowning around, he also relished the opportunity to take the pup “out for a walk” – a euphemism for grabbing a smoke.

On one occasion, we were conducting a series of one-on-ones with MD’s on a set of concepts for a new medication.  It was suburban Philly.  We were interviewing 15 docs per market. After interview #10, James said, “Hey, I have an idea. We pretty much know how we’re doing here. [This was the final of three markets.] What would you think of bringing Stewie into the front room to see what happens.  It would be research on research!”

I asked if he was sure he wanted to take the chance of forfeiting the interview results, and he replied with an enthusiastic “YES!”  So, I greeted the psychiatrist in the waiting room and told him that I had my dog with me.  How did he feel about dogs? How might he feel about allowing the dog into the interview room?  The doctor said it was fine with him.

Imagine the set up. My back is to the mirror.  The doctor is facing the mirror.  I have two tables set up in an L with stacks of materials as well as discarded papers in a pile under the table ready to be shredded.  We start the interview with the purpose of the talk and an introduction of the doctor; medications he currently writes for his patients, etc.

Then we switched to concept exposure.

Stewie started out laying at my feet.  That lasted for about 10 minutes before he started exploring.  The first thing he found was the pile of papers on the floor. Stewie saw an opportunity to earn his keep and started aggressively shredding the paper. Meanwhile the doctor continued to talk as if oblivious to the noise and distraction, while I’m thinking to myself, “oh well, I guess this isn’t going to work.”

I picked up Stewie and got him to settle down on my lap while we progressed in the interview, showing more ideas for the doctor’s feedback. I don’t know what you know about Shih Tzu’s, but because of their short snouts, they have a propensity to snort and snore. In fact Stewie can snore louder than my Grandmother who was queen of sawing wood, honking and whinnying while she slept.

Internally, my virtual eyes were rolling, but I stayed with the process, asking questions, probing, clarifying, moving onto the next set until we finished. Surprisingly, after a couple of giggles of acknowledgement of Stewie’s off key concerto, we got through the entire interview covering all the materials.

As were winding down, I asked the doctor what it was like to have the pup in the room. His answer was very interesting. He said that he’d done interviews before and that even though he knew he was being asked for his honest response, he generally found himself trying to give the answers he imagined the interviewer wanted to hear. But this was different. He allowed himself to be authentic and say what was really on his mind.

In classic interviewer style, I said, “interesting, what might have contributed to the difference in your response.”

He said there were two things. Having the dog in the room gave him the sense that his own playfulness and creativity were encouraged. To him this translated to allowing himself to be relaxed and open. In addition, my accepting of Stewie without punishing his behaviors said that I would be accepting of whatever he had to say. The result was he was comfortable taking the risk of telling me how he really felt about the product concepts.

James, who had been laughing his head off in the backroom, sobered up and took notice. James was in charge of the internal research training program. His company holds a bi-monthly Lunch and Learn event that is offered to all in the research department of his company. The doctor’s reaction was so intriguing, that he actually wrote it up and distributed it to the VP of Research as well as his peers for future consideration.

There is a dynamic relationship between people and animals. Each influences both the physiological and psychological state of the other. In the presence of animals, people seem healthier and happier and actually experience improved health benefits: lower blood pressure, less anxiety and a general sense of feeling good about themselves. In fact, pets can add to longevity. Grieving elderly widows and widowers left with pets survive years longer than their counterparts without pets.

Animals are a natural source of genuine affection. They create an emotionally safe, non-threatening environment that can encourage people to open up. In the presence of friendly pets, people relax and calm down. They forget about their worries, loneliness, sadness, pain and fear. They laugh and feel moments of unselfconscious joy.

Did you know that 20% of American businesses allow their staff to bring companion animals along with them to work?

The value of a cute pup or pet in work situations has been researched. Results of a survey sponsored by The American Pet Products Manufacturers Association indicated positive outcomes as a result of bringing pets to work.

Participants agreed that bringing their pets to work led to:

  • An increased willingness to work longer
  • A decrease in absenteeism
  • Improved relationships with co-workers
  • An environment that fosters creativity
  • Higher productivity

So, do you have a pet that might like to give back? Maybe become an assistant researcher or facilitator?  Just be sure to protect anyone who might have fear of fur and get their permission before introducing your pup.

To learn more interesting tips on making work less like work and encouraging employee engagement click http://www.future-proof-your-career.com

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Management

Elevate Your Success with Five Simple Steps

People often convince themselves that highly successful individuals who possess a special gift set themselves apart from everyone else. However, the reality is that your ability to have success, however you define it, can be accomplished with a few simple steps.

Personal responsibility for our actions is seldom championed in society these days, and like it or not, we all live with the consequences of the lifestyle choices that we make every day. We can sit in an office staring at a spreadsheet waiting for our situation to improve or make a few changes that will put us on a path to shaping a better future for ourselves and others. The following are five simple steps you can take to elevate your level of success.

1. Challenge Your Habits and Change Your Routine

It is incredibly easy to fall into the comforts offered by habits and routines, those that make our lives feel like a scene from Groundhog Day, in which the alarm wakes us at the same time every day as we hit the snooze button at least once before jumping into the shower. The familiarity of the daily grind, in which grabbing a coffee as you head into the office before performing the same tasks, can be comforting, yet we often wonder why nothing ever changes.

Our education system tends to encourage everyone to learn one correct answer and basically think in the same way. And when it comes to creativity, only a small number of people might be thought of as “creatives,” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Technology is increasingly replacing laborious and repetitive tasks with automation. Creativity and critical thinking have become essential skills in the 21st century and possess the power to make you stand out from the crowd.

There are countless self-help books that advise you how to create new patterns and habits to help you achieve your goals. However, simply getting off the hamster wheel of life and allowing yourself to mix things up by both thinking and doing things differently is a great place to start, and it will stimulate creative thought.

2. Surround Yourself with People Who Lift You Up

They say that we become like the five people we spend the most time with, and ultimately they have the power to either inspire or drain us, so maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the amount of time that you spend with toxic individuals who only bring you down.

Surround yourself with like-minded souls on a similar journey or, better yet, those who can see the big picture better than you can. They will help you see failure as an opportunity and will certainly increase your odds of achieving your dreams.

Business is 80% people and 20% everything else, and this illustrates the importance of investing your time in getting to know open-minded individuals who enjoy helping turn others’ dreams into reality. What if you surrounded yourself with inspiration?

3. Fuel Your Creativity

If you begin your day reading the news that reminds you of all the negative aspects of our world, followed by looking at social media sites that show snapshots of lives that are edited to look much better than your own, you will never increase your productivity or creativity. I like to start each day thinking of all the things I’m grateful for. It’s hard to have a bad day when you start your day like this. Try it!

Whether they are stuck in a traffic jam or are on a delayed train or airplane, or even doing household chores, highly successful people unleash the power of refueling their creativity during these moments of “dead time” by reading books or listening to podcasts.

Books and podcasts on subjects that stretch your thinking are a fantastic way to stay inspired and learn new tools you can use to resolve problems that are stopping you from reaching your goals. Try having fewer calls with people who pull you down and don’t help you move forward, and instead call people who lift you up, or watch a good TED Talk or listen to podcasts or audiobooks that offer advice and insights from others.

Removing yourself from a routine or familiar surroundings and going for a walk in a direction where you haven’t gone before instead of staring at a screen will help a lot. Highly successful individuals often find that their brains will naturally join the dots when they expose themselves to new ideas, surroundings and experiences.

4. Bring Focus and Clarity to Your Dreams

Bringing focus and clarity to your dreams while working alone in front of a computer in a dimly lit room is good, but is not enough on its own. Do not underestimate the importance of sharing and communicating your vision with others. It will attract the right people to you who will begin to see where you are going and offer ideas to help you get there.

By sharing your passion for a future vision and communicating the message with transparency on how it will be achieved, you will find people who can help you to create a solid path to achieve your goals.

5. Embrace Marginal Gains

When Dave Brailsford became the manager of Great Britain’s professional cycling team, no British cyclist had ever won the Tour de France. However, he had a simple concept known as “aggregation of marginal gains” that would revolutionize the sport and lead to his team members becoming tournament champions and Olympic gold medal winners.

The philosophy involved improving tiny areas that were traditionally overlooked by 99 percent in the belief that a long list of 1% improvements would be the difference between being champions or losers.

Researching for a pillow that offered the best sleep for cyclists to take to hotels, and teaching riders the best way to wash their hands to avoid infection, were just a few of a long list of improvements that, although they looked tiny, ended up making a massive difference.

Whether you want to lose weight, build a business or achieve any other goal in life, it’s clear that heading straight for the moon with only one step will almost certainly result in failure or demotivation.

Small changes to your daily routine, such as creating a new email signature or changing those boring, stuffy group meetings by asking better questions, could boost your momentum and enthusiasm. All these changes not only deliver long-term improvements but also improve the overall quality of your life.

Will what got you to where you are be enough to take you to the next level? There are entire chapters on how to act in the future in my latest book The Anticipatory Organization. I’ll buy the book, you pay the shipping cost. Click here to order your copy.
Categories
Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness

National Entrepreneurs Day- Taking a Deeper Look into the Brain of an Entrepreneur

Entrepreneurs are the foundation of our country and society. Unfortunately for the first time in a while, there are fewer businesses starting than are dying. We want to help aspiring entrepreneurs succeed, so in honor of National Entrepreneurs Day on November 20th, we have decided to take a deeper look into the hard wiring of an entrepreneur’s brain.

A question many people wonder is “are entrepreneur’s brains wired differently than an average person’s brain?” Many people have referred to the concept of people using their left and right brain when they are trying to solve a problem. Some studies suggest that the entrepreneur’s brain uses the right side, which is considered the creative side, while others use the left side that is used more for logical thinking.

Why would an entrepreneur approach a situation differently? What makes them solve this problem differently? How did they know to make that connection? Dopamine is a chemical that provides the brain with creativity, and the interest in seeking out to discover and achieve new goals. Dopamine is released into the brain when you make a new connection that can enrich your future or create a new opportunity for you. The difference between an entrepreneur’s brain releasing dopamine and the average brain releasing it is recognition on when and why it was released.

They say an entrepreneur will look at the same type of information as an average person, but will see something very different which allows them to approach life with a completely different view. An entrepreneur has the ability to recognize new opportunities without the doubt; this is due to the recognition of their high active dopamine levels. Once the average brain begins to identify the activity levels of their dopamine systems, they will begin to see an increase in thinking, creating and achieving new things.

From the wheel to the commercial jet, and the taco to the microchip, radical inventions by brilliant minds have shaped the way we live today, along with our future. Since its inauguration in 2010, National Entrepreneur’s Day is an annual event that honors those men and women who have built an empire from absolutely nothing, most of them becoming rather wealthy in the process as well. Supporters of National Entrepreneurs’ Day started a campaign for the holiday official through legislation. It is informally celebrated every year on the third Tuesday in Nov.

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness Management

The Psychology Behind Burnout and Strategies to Beat It

Highly-motivated people have a strong tendency to push themselves to the point of burnout — it makes sense that they would. These individuals aren’t only setting deadlines for goals—they’re going to extraordinary lengths to meet them. However, deadlines aren’t always met easily: life happens, obstacles pop up, and, inevitably, stress creeps in.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel; the job has to get done.”

The deadline-driven professional might say this, and, as predicted, plow through the work, thinking that any other method will only cause delay and more anxiety, possibly resulting in them missing their deadline altogether. Often when we try to plow through these feelings and “get the job done,” the result is not only burnout but depression or prolonged anxiety, along with higher risk of stress-related diseases like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc.

However, understanding that stress hormones affect our physical ability to work through problems motivates us to deal with the root of the anxiety, first. This is less about solving the dilemma at hand, but instead about identifying what exactly is causing the stress. In other words, it’s an opportunity to invite a third-party mediator, so to speak, within your mind—an “advisor.”

Important Questions to Ask:

This neutral advisor can pose the following vital questions:

  • How, precisely, is this situation causing me stress?”
  • What is within my control?
  • What is not within my control?
  • If the forces beyond my control overtake this situation, what is the worst possible outcome? Is it that bad?
  • Can I handle that worst possible outcome?

Usually, stress begins to loosen its grip on the body, and we can ask the most crucial question: “What’s the most powerful action I can take to create the best possible outcome in this situation?”

The body expresses everything that is registered by the mind.

The thing is: the body expresses everything that is registered by the mind. High-stress situations put the brain on high alert; subsequently, flooding the body with stress hormones that affect one’s ability to process thoughts.

Proactively dealing with these physical symptoms allows the solution to come swiftly and efficiently, as opposed to when we try to force our way through a clouded mind.

Stress is a daily occurrence for many hard-working people. You can feel it in your body. It’s essential to pay attention to physical symptoms and to notice tension or aches in the body, mood, as well as appetite changes.

It is essential, in these moments, to ask questions like: “Why do my muscles hurt? What happened to my mood? What can I do to improve this?” (Often, stretching and snacking can be immediately helpful.)

Additionally, we all have times of the day in which we are most productive. Getting to know your body is the only way to take advantage of situations that bring you energy and avoid those that deplete you.

Stay in Touch with the Body

In conclusion, physical symptoms of stress are an excellent indicator that it’s time to ask questions and identify their source. Handling these physical symptoms is an important aspect of taking care of ourselves, mitigating adverse effects, and increasing energy and clarity; — essentially avoiding burnout altogether.

If you’ve found this article helpful, I highly recommend that you download my 5 Tips for Mastery Under Pressure, which cover the topics of focus, relaxation, dealing with negative self-talk, how to visualize, and how to transform and channel fear.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Why Asking Better Questions Can Fuel Your Performance

Have you ever looked back at something you did, such as a decision you made or something you said, and wondered why you did it that way? You may feel surprise or regret. It might not even be a big deal, and yet, you spend a lot of your time thinking about it.

Now if it were a big decision that did not work out as intended, you might even beat yourself up about it. Mentally of course. And it might also affect you emotionally. Now don’t get me wrong, reflecting is a good thing. It’s how you reflect that is the issue.

Two questions that get us stuck:

Do you ask yourself one of these questions?

  1. Why did I do it?
  2. What if…?

Both questions can get you stuck in a story you are telling yourself about who you are and why you did something.  We waste so much time looking back and wishing we’d done something different, or looking ahead, worrying about the outcome before we even figure out how to do it.

Looking back with regret and ahead with fear, both get us stuck, wasting time and affecting not only our productivity and performance, but also our emotional, mental and physical health and wellbeing.

What does the mind have to do with it? 

The mind believes what we tell it.

Consider the classic story about two monks walking on the path at dusk, talking about how their journey might get dangerous if they do not make it to town before it is dark. All of a sudden, one of the monks point toward the bend in the road ahead, stops and says, “I think there is an animal there on our path.” The other monk stops and looks and says, “Yes, I see it. It is sitting there waiting for us. Maybe it’s a tiger.” So they jump behind the tree to hide. As they peek out from behind the tree, the animal is still sitting there waiting for them. As the night comes, they are more and more scared, and they stay behind the tree, peeking out from time to time but as it gets dark they can no longer see the road. Eventually, they fall asleep behind the tree from sheer fatigue.

The next morning as the sun rises, the two monks talk about what to do. As they look out from behind the tree, they realized the tiger is still there waiting for them, except the tiger is not a tiger, but a boulder on the side of the road.

What is the change we can make?

Our unconscious mind is our best friend. It protects us from harm and helps us get what we ask for. It will do what we tell it to do and it will try to find the answers we are asking for, often without our help. Even in our sleep, our unconscious mind works on our questions. That is why it is so important to become mindful about how we interact with our unconscious mind.

The mind-gut connection

Have you ever gotten up in the morning feeling a pit in your stomach, but you are not quite sure why? All you know is that a pit in your stomach tends to warn you that something is not quite right or maybe even dangerous.

Some scientists say our mind is in our gut, some say our second brain that is in our gut. Point is – our brain and gut are interconnected, because all the neurotransmitters in our gut send messages to our brain. It is part of our warning system, the one that has kept us alive for centuries, however it is also how we mis out on taking charge of our thoughts. Now we tend to call it our mind because it is the consciousness of mind, rather than just the organ that is the brain.

Our mind is extremely powerful

Our unconscious mind also does not really understand the difference between something happening in real-time or a story being told about what could happen. Now this is actually a good thing if we use that knowledge mindfully. It is how athletes train themselves to break records and it is why visualization can be extremely powerful. It is also how we can bury ourselves in anxiety and fear. It is how movies draw us into the experience that is happening on the screen. And it is how we can create change.

Ask for what you want

So what is not working about the questions I shared?

  1. Why did I do that? Your mind will give you all the reason why you messed up.
  2. What if I do that? Your mind will come up with all the reasons why it might not work, if your question comes with a grain of fear or dash of doubt.

Of course, we have to be aware of the possible dangers and things that can go wrong, but we should use it as information to plan what to do about it if it does not work, rather than fuel stories about why we might fail.

We need mindfulness

Mindfulness helps us ask better questions about we need to focus on to get what we want.

Our mind automatically looks for danger.  In today’s world, we call it “what is not working” or the negative. Studies have shown that 70% of our mind-activity automatically looks for “danger.” It worked great when a tiger was lurking, but that tiger is not a boulder in the office hallway. That tiger has become your boss, your teammates, your clients, your projects, your problems.

Most people go to work every day spending far too much time looking for what is not working and who is not doing what they were supposed to do. The modern-day version of the tiger is stress.

Use AAA

Acknowledge & Accept: This happened and it did not work. Accept how you feel about it, but don’t get sidetracked into telling stories about why it happened. This part is important because this is where we tend to get stuck in wishing it were different… if I had only… then…. Or telling stories like… see that happened because I am …. (usually something nasty we tell ourselves like stupid and not good enough).

Ask: How can I…. What will help me…. What do I need so I can…. And notice what your gut is telling you. Learn to trust the connection between your gut and your mind. Not intuition, but information based in your unconscious wisdom.

Act: Choose the best way forward, even if it is not within your comfort-zone, to get the result you want.

Mindfulness in action means:

  1. Learn to ask questions.
  2. Learn to listen.
  3. Learn to act, not react.

You can use this to work with yourself and with your team. When we can bring more mindfulness into the workplace, we can learn to work better and perform at our best without burning out. We can nourish relationship and fuel a culture where we spend our time working on solutions to problems rather than getting stuck in the problems. A culture that feeds our need to belong, contribute and be successful.

To learn more about how to re-think performance and create a culture of care: jeanettebronee.com

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash