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Are We Being Negative?

Negativity. It is emotionally draining. We are bombarded with negative messages all day long. I was on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook over the weekend and I had to log out after only a few minutes on each platform.

There were so many quotes that start with “don’t”. So many opinions about things that quite frankly, are immaterial, or opinions about things that really did not happen.

We have become so accustomed to just putting it out there, everywhere. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves, “are we being negative?”

  • Instead of being sarcastic be kind.
  • Instead of being rude be respectful.
  • Instead of lying be honest or silent.
  • Instead of self-righteous be understanding.
  • Instead of judgmental be forgiving.
  • Instead of fearful be hopeful.

Emotions are contagious. How we think and feel affects those around us. Be positive. The power of positive thinking is amazing!

Think of best-case scenarios and work towards those goals.  Greet people with a smile and say “hello!” Let someone else have that parking spot. Take a deep breath and practice patience. Share a laugh. Say, “sorry”. Ask for help. Do your best.

Have a wonderful day!

Michelle Nasser, Executive Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Teaching you how to make the best decisions for your organization.

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The Millennial Attention Gap

Maybe my favorite generation is the millennials. I love their insights and ability to change quickly … and they can also learn from generations before them. So, I was excited when I recently watched the movie, The Intern, about a Baby Boomer going to work for a young, hip start-up company. This company was very successful, full of bright ideas and innovative ways to succeed. Initially, they looked as though they thrived in chaos, when in fact, they were suffering from the very methods that made them successful.

While the movie was a light-hearted comedy about an older generation fitting into a Millennial mindset, I couldn’t help but notice the number of mistakes the young professionals made because of information overload, a barrage of interruptions, and an obsessive need to multitask leading to a frantically fast paced life. They worked together for hours on end yet knew little about each other. They celebrated professional success while suffering personal losses in relationships at home.

The movie was fiction. The situation was reality.

Millennials weren’t the age of technological discoveries. They were born into the technological age we created. They never knew life before the internet, texting, streaming and social media. Before most of them could walk, they could operate an iPhone. Many of them watched their first programs streaming from their parents’ devices while sitting in a restaurant for dinner. As the Millennials grew up, they formed new languages ripe with acronyms as they felt there was no time, or need, to write in full, complete sentences.  Now that this generation has aged and entered the workplace, they struggle to turn their attention from devices and into real relationships that communicate openly, thoroughly and effectively.

At one point in the movie, a younger employee approached the Baby Boomer to ask for relationship advice. He admitted to having messed up with his girlfriend, and he failed to see how his attempts to mend the relationship were unsuccessful. He said he sent a “ton of text messages” – to which she never responded – and a “super long email” laced with acronyms and emojis. At which point the Baby Boomer simply suggested that he talk to her face-to-face. Guess what? The advice worked.

Now let’s hop over to real life.

How often do you, or Millennials in your life, attempt to communicate with others in this fashion? With phones buzzing, emails flying, and alerts binging, it’s no wonder we miss the connection. What if we encouraged Millennials to pay attention to relationships, not technology, and to address others in a real-time conversation, saving time and confusion from back and forth digital dialogue. Imagine the time we could save if we would focus on our relationships and began paying attention to what matters most.

Another hysterical scene in the movie came when the young CEO inadvertently sent her mom an email not intended for her to read. Watching these characters go to great lengths to undo a digital mistake made was a riot! I couldn’t help but consider the number of times we have all been guilty of hitting ‘send’ on a message not intended for the receiver, and the following countless hours/days/weeks/months/years we spent trying to recover from our lack of attention to detail. The Millennial boss was moving at such a fast rate of speed, dealing with one distraction after another, she almost risked a vital relationship in her life as a result. Ever been guilty of doing the same?

We have an opportunity to lead by example for Millennials and other future generations. We can show them how to slow down and pay attention to details. We can demonstrate how to step away from gadgets and build relational bridges with peers, employees, spouses and friends. Our time spent before the digital age could enlighten them on advantages that came with it.

Can you become like the Baby Boomer in the movie? Can you mentor young professionals and encourage them to invest in sincere relationships – getting to know each other on a deeper level? Can you lead by example by focusing on one task at a time, saying ‘no’ to distractions that lead to mistakes? Will you demonstrate what it means to stop living a ‘crazy busy’ life and start paying attention to what matters most?

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

The 40-Day Leadership Challenge

Aren’t there times when you wish you could yell “do over!” and start with a clean slate, like you did as a kid? The good news is, even though it might not be enough to simply declare the “do over,” it is possible to start again on a clean page. How? Take my 40-Day Leadership Challenge.

For Christians, the forty days before Easter are known as Lent, reflecting the forty days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert before his crucifixion and resurrection. During this time, many people make forty-day sacrifices like giving up sweets, eating in between meals, or video games; or making some extra effort like reading the Bible daily, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. The idea is that it should be a time of purification, after which you emerge as a better person and closer to God. But it strikes me that, at a deeper level, there is a universally valuable leadership challenge and lesson inherent in this kind of experience.

Everyone has some relationship, whether professional or personal, that could be improved. Maybe there’s someone who perpetually rubs you the wrong way. Or on a grander scale, maybe you need to project a more compelling leadership image you project for people to see you as a leader to admire. Fundamentally, relationships are made and broken by the communication patterns they promote, and it’s up to you to take the first step towards making these patterns healthier, more respectful and more productive, based on how you choose to communicate.

All you have to do is take that first step today, and then another one each day for the next 39 days. That’s your personal 40-Day Leadership Challenge. Pick something that is difficult enough so that you can’t do it mindlessly; it will require a conscious effort for it to be successful. The goal is that after 40 days, you will replace old, bad habits with positive new ones, which will not only make you a better person, but will improve the lives of others around you.

So where should you start? You might choose to “fast” from gossip or snarky comments, both in conversation and email. Hold your tongue instead of criticizing someone in public even when others do, or let the other person get the last word even when you want to add more.

Perhaps you have a tendency to be blunt, dramatic or insensitive in some contexts. If that’s the case, try committing to a 40-day diplomacy challenge. You could also abstain from exaggeration, swearing, or drama for 40 days, or opt to walk away from a conversation when you feel yourself starting to get heated – then be sure to follow up later when you feel more focused and composed.

On the flip side, maybe you try to avoid conflict at all costs. For you, the challenge could be committing to address problems rather than letting them fester and hoping they go away on their own.

If nothing else, try this: Simply make an effort to explicitly thank people for their efforts, big or small. You’ll be amazed at what a big impression such a small gesture can make. I promise you it won’t go unnoticed.

Remember: it doesn’t have to be 40 days of consecutive perfection; it’s about 40 days of conscious effort to be a better person, and a better leader. Even if you fall off the proverbial bandwagon occasionally, it’s okay! Try putting a dollar in a jar every time you realize you’ve broken your commitment, and after your 40 days, donate the money in the jar to charity. No matter how often you put money in the “oops” jar, you still get to call a “do over” the next day!

And the best part? It doesn’t matter which 40 days you choose, whether at the start of the new year, during your summer vacation or any other time. By the end of your 40 Day Leadership Challenge, others will feel the difference through smoother and more collaborative exchanges, and your new patterns should start to feel natural and replace the old ones. That’s the best way to build the foundation of a new kind of leadership that makes others want to follow suit.

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Want to discuss your potential 40-Day Leadership Challenge? Email me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click to set up a 20-minute focus call with me personally.

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Tips for Performing Under Pressure: The Resilient Mind

Over the past 35 years, I have worked with many high-achieving professionals – athletes, actors, dancers, speakers, and business leaders in a variety of fields. One of the common denominators that is true across the board, is as soon as we raise the stakes of the game and more is demanded of us, new skills and new perspectives are required.

It’s interesting to note that emotions are processed in the brain as predictions based on our past history. In other words, if we had a bad experience at an earlier time in our lives, our brain remembers that experience and expects the same result in the future. This is why telling ourselves to “just get over it,” doesn’t always work.

At the time of this writing, the Winter Olympics are just ending. What can we learn from these athletes about performing under pressure? A number of them have come back from heartbreaking defeats and devastating injuries. How do they work with their minds to overrule the brain’s natural tendency to avoid pain and danger?

There are many factors that go into that answer, but again, to play at a very high level, new skills and perspectives are required. We can summarize the needed qualities in one word: “Resiliency.” Some people are more naturally resilient than others. But resiliency can be learned and nurtured from a very early age.

Let’s look at three essential qualities of a resilient mind:

1. Attitude – Resilient people look back at difficult experiences as challenges to invent a new future. They see solutions, strength and inspiration. So, one’s attitude can mitigate the brain’s natural tendency to see the world as an unfriendly place. By changing your attitude, you are actually building new neural pathways, which now means you are writing a new story.

2. Positive Self-Image – Resilient people are constantly evaluating themselves from a NON-JUDGMENTAL perspective. What worked, what didn’t work? They are willing to make course corrections based on their objective analysis.

3. Sense of Purpose – in order to subject ourselves to the high demands and challenges that “going for it” requires, we need to have a powerful reason. Simon Sinek, in his Ted talk, called it “Your Why.”

When your attitude, your self-image and your purpose are in alignment, you have the magic ingredients to forge a new future. Even though your mind “remembers” past negative experiences, you are not destined to repeat them.

If you find that you “know” this information, but are still not able to let go of situations you feel are still holding you back, I invite you to take the Mastery Under Pressure quiz on your level of peak performance skills at www.masteryunderpressure.net.

And join our Facebook Community at Mastery Under Pressure Community, where you’ll learn more about strengthening those building blocks to greater resiliency and
peak performance.

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Use Project Management Principles to Accomplish More

“The project is 10 months behind, you need to deliver it in two months and raise $10 million dollars. Can you do it?” That’s the questions my boss Phil asked me. This was totally outside the scope of my existing role in the oil industry, but I had developed a reputation as someone who could get things done. Oscillating between excitement and terror that I’d been selected for the challenge, of course I said, ‘YES!”

Admittedly, I didn’t sleep for two months but I did deliver the project, on time, and within the budget with 100% compliance from the stakeholders.  It was one of my career highlights and it reminded me project management principles could be applied to every aspect of your life.

Project management has been around for thousands of years. I’m picturing some fabulous Egyptian leaders standing around debating the process for delivering stone blocks for the pyramids. Can’t you just see that?

Let’s take a look at nine project management principles that will help you in business, and in life.

1. Have a project management mindset. Start with that 30,000-foot view. Evaluate what you need by way of budget, time, milestones and deliverables for every project.

2. Be budget smart.How much time and money does your project require?

3. Timing is everything.Put a timeline in place from start to finish.

4. Put it in writing.Outline your milestones and mission plans and write them down.

5. Organize and order. Create the checklist and timeline for the progression of tasks.

6. List the stakeholders. This helps keep you focused and on task.

7. Appoint a project sponsor. This might be your mentor, your boss, or colleague. This person will assist you progress the project, help handle any challenges you might face, and help you be accountable for deliverables

8. Create a folder for every project with the following structure:

  1. Project chassis (overview)
  2. Budget
  3. Communications
  4. Meeting Notes
  5. Miscellaneous

9. Focus on the outcome. Keeping your eye on the prize helps drive personal energy. Especially when you are in the thick of things, tired, and need to be inspired!

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Managing Reverse Culture Shock

We’re all familiar with the principle of “culture shock,” reflecting the surprises and challenges of living and working abroad. Comparatively, you’d think it would be easy to move back home after the assignment is complete. Surprisingly, however, readjusting to the home culture and office is often harder than going abroad in the first place, a phenomenon known as “reverse culture shock,” or “reentry adjustment.” I certainly encountered this personally upon returning to the US after spending a couple of years in Japan. Here are some reasons why, and strategies to help ease that transition so that, contrary to the popular expression, you can go home again.

First, whether you’re abroad for a year or a decade, the fact is that, whether or not you realize it, you have changed as a result of your experiences, and your home (and home office) environment has evolved over time as well… but not on the same trajectory. Yet you will both expect the other to be the same as when you left at minimum, or even subconsciously expect them to have changed in the same way that you did – whether or not you recognize exactly how.

Plus, once you’ve adapted to the new language and cultural expectations, there’s a good chance that a lot of those new behaviors and expectations will have become second nature, often because you have learned to appreciate the principles that those behaviors reflect. For me, I was always a very direct speaker, but learned to appreciate and comfortably use the comparatively subtle approach in Japanese, which is the Japanese norm, based on promoting respect and harmony. Unfortunately, when using similar strategies in English back home, I sounded wishy-washy to my American peers.

When you return to your home office, others may respond to these new habits with resistance and skepticism. If you start to recognize this pattern, have a heartfelt conversation with your team, explaining what’s behind the new behaviors. Don’t go into tons of detail, and don’t present it in a way that seems like you’re bragging about your experience abroad. Smile, and let them know that you understand their reaction because it’s exactly how you reacted when you first encountered those patterns when you first arrived overseas. Depending on what the change is, you may just need some time shift back to the original style. Alternatively, once they understand the change, they may decide they appreciate the rationale for it and want to adopt it too.

Another key cause of reentry adjustment is that you expect to be surprised in one way or another when you go to a foreign country, but not when you return home. You know that the new language, culture, and norms abroad – from foods and table manners to what it means to show respect – will probably differ unpredictably from what you’re used to, for better or worse. But you also assume that it should be easy to return home because – in theory – you already know all the rules of the game.

On the contrary, this isn’t always the case. When I went to live and work in Japan, and studied the language and culture, I was very explicitly instructed how to do everything from gift exchange rituals to protocols for conducting meetings. I learned the rules consciously. Then when I moved back to the US, I committed a variety of little faux pas because I realized I didn’t know how to shift back! So many of my original American practices had been learned unconsciously; I had done things a certain way because it’s the way everyone did them, so I was just going with the flow, as it were. I never thought about why I used certain English words, American gestures, or routines. Without being equally able to articulate the “rules,” there was occasionally an awkward feeling of uncertainty.

Part of the solution, simply put, is to expect similar surprises – likely on mundane little things – upon completing an extended stay overseas. More importantly, when they happen, be patient and forgiving with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and when you do, remind yourself that this is normal. If necessary, apologize, but again, share the cause: you were simply on “auto pilot” from living abroad. The best remedy is to have a sense of humor about it and laugh at yourself, which is also an invitation to others to laugh with you. This builds mutual empathy, educates others, and promotes support to help you make the rest of the transition to your new life in the old country.

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Are you or is someone you know struggling with reverse culture shock? Email me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Take the 5 Step Attention Challenge

You think you’re paying attention – you’re not. We live in an attention deficit society. Technology distracts us. Social Media overwhelms us.  Daily to-do lists leave us feeling exhausted. We are constantly being asked to do more with less, to the point we have lost sight of what is important as we race each day to cross off another meaningless task or chore.

I believe in order to be influential in the world, and make a true impact on it; we must give our undivided attention to people and things that matter most in our lives. Instead, we are allowing those that are most important to compete with all of our daily distractions. It’s time to commit to change.

Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. When you decide what gets your attention, that becomes your future. I challenge you to start turning your life into one of attention abundance instead of distractions in five steps. Are you up for the challenge? It won’t be easy. It will bring to light the aspects in your life that are worthy of your focus, your time and your undivided attention.

Step 1: Identify What Matters Most

Grab a piece of paper and write down three priorities that come to mind at home, at work and in your community. Perhaps it’s the name of people, or high-profile goals. Maybe it’s a charitable cause or public service. Either way, be specific in each of the three categories and limit yourself to no more than three priorities for each. This step is going to help you identify what matters most to you, the core of you. These are the priorities that get you out of bed each morning, and give you a sense of purpose. When we attempt to define too many priorities, we dilute the meaning of those that matter most.

Step 2: Be Accountable to the Calendar

With your limited priority list now identified, it’s time to get selective with your calendar of commitments. We only get 365 days each year to reach our goals and objectives. That’s a pretty tight calendar budget if it’s not managed wisely. Consider this, if you only had $365 dollars in the bank and were forced to choose between food and jewelry – you’d choose food, right? That’s easy. So why do we think of the days in a year any differently? We are all working from the same limited budget of days, yet some are too quick to spend their days on what doesn’t matter. It’s time to be accountable to our calendar.

First, go through your work calendar and identify two meetings this week that are not necessary. If you feel the objective of the meeting can be accomplished in a simple phone call or email, choose those options instead. If you have the meetings scheduled merely out of routine and habit, they aren’t needed. If you are attending meetings and feel they are not a valuable use of your time, decline them.

Second, for those meetings you choose to keep on your work calendar, email the host and request an agenda. Take a few moments to be certain your time will be respected and used wisely. If you are the host, give respects to the attendees by creating an agenda that you commit to using and sticking to. If you want others to respect your time, you must first start by respecting theirs.

Third, at home, review your personal commitments and obligations. Have you accepted a dinner invite you didn’t really desire to attend? Perhaps you have requests for lunch, parties and gatherings that you aren’t certain how you’ll fit into your already tight calendar of events. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it’s time to employ the power of one simple word: “No.” That’s right, “no.” “No” is a complete sentence and doesn’t require explanation. Your time is your time, and only is gifted to others when their requests of it fall in line with the priorities you listed in step one. When you say “no” to some, you’re saying “yes” to whom and what matters most. Consider this – if there is a dinner invitation you’ve received that you’re not thrilled to attend, and you would rather stay home and watch a movie with your family, who is going to benefit the most from you saying “yes” to the dinner invite? You? Your family? No – the person with the invitation is the one that benefits. If they are not in your list of priorities, then you are allowing them to take time away from those truly deserving of your time.

Step 3: Be Accountable to the Clock

There are only 1,440 minutes in each day. Considering we sleep approximately 440 of those, we are left with only 1,000 minutes to accomplish what truly needs to be done each day. We are all gifted with the same amount of time in a day; how we choose to use it and prioritize it is solely up to us.

Have you ever stopped to consider the amount of time you spend each day on social media? What about watching television? How about checking email? Now, consider how much time you spend building relationships with family, friends, colleagues and clients? Who is winning your attention and what is stealing your time.

I want you to consider your day in 15 minute increments. Discipline yourself to limiting time on non-essential tasks for 15 minutes only. Dedicate at least 15 minutes of time to those that haven’t been getting it.

First, upon waking in the morning, take 15 minutes to check social media and read the news – then log off. Do not give into temptation to check it again until your next scheduled 15 minute window – either later that night or the next morning. Utilize apps that block alerts and notifications on your phone to avoid distractions they cause.

Second, review your daily calendar and challenge yourself and your team to cut back meetings to 15 minutes only. Require agendas and don’t permit devices that cause distractions. When you limit meetings to 15 minutes, you’ll reach agreements more quickly and be less likely to get lost on non-related topics.

Third, schedule 3 – 15 minutes increments time for checking email throughout your workday. When your 15 minutes is up, turn off your email and turn your attention to accomplishing projects, tasks and priorities. Move away from allowing email to run your day and dictate how your time is to be spent. Emails are just another person’s request for your time to do what they need to accomplish their tasks.

Fourth, dedicate 15 minutes each night to having one-on-one conversations with each person in your household. Give them a minimum of 15 minutes of your time without technology, tv or distractions. You’d be surprised how your relationships grow when you invest your undivided attention into them.

Fifth, allow yourself 15 minutes each day for decompression and quiet time. Give your body and your mind an opportunity to quiet and rest. Go for a walk. Take a hot bath. Get a stretch. Meditate. Either way, permit your mind to quiet down so it has an opportunity to recharge for the following day.

Step 4: Put Technology in its Place

By silencing distractions, such as smartphones, people begin to excel at their jobs, relationships and tasks. A cell phone is a crutch. It fools us into believing everything is an emergency, even when the situation is far from it. When people let go of the need to connect, they get better at sleeping, they come to work refreshed, they learn to trust their instincts, and they begin to rely on their skills and knowledge. In short, they become better leaders, better middle managers, and better employees. They also become better spouses, better parents and their quality of life grows.

First, use your Do Not Disturb function on your phone. Schedule it to turn on from 8pm to 8am each morning. This will ensure time each night is spent focused and dedicated on your personal well-being. In this time period, you can exercise, spend time in uninterrupted conversation with friends and family, sleeping and resting up for a more productive day following.

Second, do not permit technology in meetings. If you are hosting a meeting, make it known on the invite and in the agenda that your meeting is a no-phone zone. If you’re going to be cutting down meetings to 15-minute increments, every minute requires each participant’s undivided attention.

Third, make your dinner table a no-phone zone. If you are out to dinner with friends, make a deal that the first person to look at their phone has to buy dinner. If you are at dinner with your family, put all devices away and keep them off the table. Use that time to make genuine connections with those you are dining with.

Fourth, use smartphone apps to silence your phone throughout the day when you are otherwise committed to scheduled activities such as checking email, focusing on projects or accomplishing tasks. You will maximize your productivity when you keep your focus exclusively on one task as a time instead of allowing yourself to be distracted every few minutes.

Step 5: Gift Your Time

Our society depends on each of us to give the gift of our time to charitable causes and be purposeful in how we contribute to our community. Choose how you will contribute to causes that matter to you and your community. Be intentional in scheduling time to volunteer, donate and help others. Reflect back on Step 1 and what you listed as your priorities. Decide how you will contribute to aiding those causes and make the commitment to follow through.

Remember, Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. Decide what gets your attention, and allow that to become your future. Are you up to the challenge?

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Growth Health and Wellness Management Women In Business

Kill Your “To Do” List Now

Why do you attempt to do the impossible?  How many things are on your “to do” list this week?  Ten?  Twelve? Thirty-two?

As you look at the list are you already in anticipatory fear of what you won’t complete.  Are you stressing if the things you did last we are “good enough?”  Most of us are. This fear, not being in the present moment is killing you and your ability to lead effectively.

This one simple choice, building and attempting to accomplish impossible “to do” lists is hurting your morale, engagement and money.  Make a new choice mindfully reduce your stress monotask today. Stop rewarding yourself for driving, eating, and talking on the phone at the same time.  All this adds up to mind-less-ness.

Admit it you have parked at your office then suddenly realized you do not remember leaving your driveway or any part of the drive to work?  Mindless.

Admit it you look at the clock and wonder where they day has gone with your “to do” list left unchecked.  Mindless.

This week.  Try Mindful mono-tasking.  Yes.  Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present in the moment can meet your “to do” list.  Here’s your practice:

Write a “to complete” list not a “to do” list. 

When I write a “to do” list it gets filled with every single thing I need to do this hour, day week, month, heck even year.  When the “to do” list is filled I look down and realize I’m overwhelmed and do nothing.  My head starts spinning.

A mindful “to complete” list is the 1-3 items that I will complete that day.  Nothing more, nothing less goes on the list.  I look at the list and my calendar to make sure those things are on the calendar.  Looking at this list gets my heart and purpose engaged again.

Once my “to complete list is complete, I breathe and know the things I need to do are on the list and the things not on the list are either not mine to do, or can wait. Then, as a leader, get fully in the present get to your being so the doing can get done also.

When, and only when all those things are done on your” to complete” list can you add something else to the list.

The practice of mindful “mono tasking” takes some practice. Yes I have days that things sneak back on the list, you will also.  You have to trust that the items that do not get on your ‘to complete” list will show up on the date/time that you must complete them.

Over time this activity will help you practice setting firm boundaries of what you will do and what you will not.  You may even hear yourself saying the most powerful complete sentence in our language.  No. When someone approaches you with a task that you cannot complete that day.  You will hear yourself building a more manageable life to lead and expectation for yourself and the culture of your organization.

Mindfulness is the practice of becoming fully present. When you are mindful, you can be your best in the world.  Give mono-tasking a try this week.  Let me know how this expands your good in the world.

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Best Practices Growth Health and Wellness Leadership

What’s Your Cutting Edge?

You know these sayings, “Just do it!!,” No risk, no reward,” “No pain, no gain,” “Just buck up.” Most of us have grown up hearing these bits of advice. They come from the likes of parents, teachers, coaches, the media and get unconsciously registered in our minds as THE TRUTH. In psychology, we call them “Belief Systems.” And whether you’re aware of it or not, they rule our lives by the expectations we set for ourselves because of them.

Since they have such a profound influence on our feelings of self-worth, competency, actions and behaviors, it behooves us to dig a little and examine how to work with them, so we put ourselves consciously in charge of our lives, rather than be ruled by outdated and unwanted mandates.

This is a big topic, but in this article, we’re going to focus on the expectations we have of ourselves and how to realistically pace yourself, so you can actually realize your desired outcome.

In his book, The Warrior Athlete (Fitzhenry & Whiteside, Ltd, Toronto, 1079), Dan Millman talks about the principle of “Accommodation,” Briefly, this law states that athletics or life develops what it demands; no demand, no development, improper demand, improper development.

Let’s look at this statement, “Improper demand, improper development.” Depending on what you are asking of yourself, it could be to learn a new skill, manage a team, improve your work/life balance, manage your emotions better, or many of the numerous tasks you want to accomplish.

Many high-achievers make great demands on themselves. As we said, no demand, no development. But how do you judge when it’s too much? What are the signs signals that let you know you’re over the line? And what types of guidelines can you use to answer these questions?

While I was studying to be a Nia (combination of dance, movement and physical exercise) Instructor, we were required to learn dance routines very quickly. Some of us were better at this than others. Lord knows, I wanted to be successful. But I noticed, the more I demanded of myself, the worse I got. Until my teacher said, “You cannot go any faster than your nervous system will allow.”

That was a revelation to me! I expected myself to pick it up right away. But the truth was, I was a beginner at this skill and until I adjusted my expectation to the reality of the situation, I would remain frustrated, my adrenaline would start kicking in and my ability to think clearly would be diminished.

No matter how much you want to succeed, your body and your mind will tell you whether you’re being realistic.

To be sure that your “cutting edge,” sets you up for success, keep these tips in mind:

  1. Your mind and your body have to work in sync.
  2. If you find yourself getting frustrated, ask yourself, “Are my expectations realistic? Am I asking more of myself than I am capable of at this moment in time?”  You may be quite capable, but not in the time frame you are demanding.
  3. Pay attention to the signals your body is giving you. If the nervous system is overloaded, your muscles will get tight and the quality of your thinking will deteriorate.
  4. To find your own personal “cutting edge,” take a tip from Yoga. In order to grow, we’re always looking for that edge of discomfort. This is your “growing edge.”

So, remember; if you ask of yourself as little more than your comfortable with, every day, both your body and your mind will accommodate to the new, higher level. And then, you’ll turn around and say to yourself one day, “Wow, how did that happen?”

If you’d like to learn more about your own level of Peak Performance skills, go to Masteryunderpressure.net and join our Facebook community at https://www.facebook.com/groups/masteryunderpressurecommunity/

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Too Much of A Good Thing? New Strategies to Enjoy Real Work-Life Harmony in the C-Suite

Early morning board meetings, late evening client dinners, conference calls, international travel, a jam-packed family and personal schedule. It’s all good, but it may seem like constant non-stop busyness all the time. Are you doing more, but feeling less satisfied and more frustrated?

Fortunately, there are strategies to increase the real goodness and harmony in your life. Your ability to prioritize and optimize all the abundance you enjoy comes from making the right decisions about what is “important to do” rather than what is simply “nice to do.”

Evaluate and set your criteria. Determine the key professional and personal priorities, causes and activities that are truly aligned with your core values and highest intentions for the short and longer term. Turn inward and evaluate where you are accomplishing the most good and receiving the most personal satisfaction. Are you saying “Yes” more often and “No” less frequently because you are afraid of being left out? Learn to say “No” to the ordinary to be able to say “Yes” to the outstanding. Take a stand for what you really want!

Plan and prioritize. Look at your week and month and list your intentions and commitments. Sort the important from the merely workable. Think of your life in three pillars: career/business, health/family, faith/education/renewal and consider adopting the 8-8-8 model for your daily schedule. Designate eight hours for work and business, eight hours for yourself and your family priorities and eight hours for rest.

Make time for yourself every day. Part of your personal pillar should include some “me time” for peace, quiet, reflection and rejuvenation. Consider rising thirty minutes earlier and starting the day off with some movement, stretching, meditation, self-hypnosis or quiet contemplation. You will feel more successful and grounded versus feeling scattered and off balance.

Be consistent. Make regular deposits into your body’s energy savings and reserves account by eating whole, real food and engaging in regular physical activity and prioritizing restorative sleep. Inevitably you will need to make energy withdrawals when you are involved in challenging projects or are working long hours. With enough reserves, you have enough goodness to draw upon and your energy account will be charged and healthy!

Real work-life harmony takes courage and awareness. Model these traits for yourself, your family and your organization. Your life will be better for it!

Kathleen Caldwell, is CEO of Caldwell Consulting Group, an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, a C-Suite Network Advisor, Women Who Dare Council Member and the founder of the WHEE Leadership Institute ® (Wealthy, Healthy, Energetic Edge) of Woodstock, Illinois. She works with leaders and teams to energetically and enjoyably produce record breaking results. For more information, Caldwell can be reached at www.caldwellconsulting.biz, Kathleen@caldwellconsulting.biz or by phone at 773-562-1061.

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