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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Reframing the Perception of Conflict

 

At some point or other, we’ve all taken leadership style or personality “tests,” whether the DISC assessment, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or one of myriad others on the market. But one scale I haven’t seen explicitly identified on any commercially available tools is how people perceive conflict.

 

Notice I did not say how they handle conflict. In my experience, a critical factor is whether and how people perceive conflict in the first place, as that is the catalyst that triggers the response. Once you start to see how differently people experience the concept of “conflict,” it becomes remarkably clear why they engage in it or avoid it the way that they do, and how you need to handle a situation in order to get the results you want in a way that is both collaborative and effective.

 

First, think about conflict not as a yes-or-no issue, but on a gray scale, with “peace” and “war” at the opposite extremes, separated by a wide range of degrees of intensity, which might look something like this:

Because of the range of degrees of this scale, the issue becomes one of personal tolerance, kind of like your personal tolerance for spicy food. These different degrees of conversational intensity, such as disagreement, debate and fight, always exist. At that point, the question then becomes at what point you start to feel a sense of genuine anxiety, and when that anxiety reaches a level that is intolerable, which makes you want (or need) to end the conversation – whether through fight or flight.

 

For people who tend to have a lower tolerance for conflict-related anxiety, they may view the scale like this:

 

From their perspective, they can only have a conversation comfortably as long as they know that they will not have to discuss anything that will make either or both people unhappy, because unhappiness reflects conflict, and conflict triggers anxiety, which is not tolerable. This is why people who are highly conflict-averse may tend to avoid engaging in some important conversations. Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War Tolerable Anxiety Intolerable Anxiety Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War 2 Ironically, it is often through the efforts and extents people go through in attempt to avoid conflict that they end up making a bad situation worse, as problems are allowed to fester

 

On the other hand, people who have a higher tolerance for conflict-based anxiety may view the scale more like this:

To these people, a good intellectual debate is just that: a debate, to explore the differences in ideas, whether for the purposes of trying to learn from each other, or to persuade the other person to change their view. As long as the discourse doesn’t get personal, most commentary is fair game.

 

Often people with much higher tolerance conflate being blunt with being efficient. Needless to say, this is also not a particularly good way to lead, if your goal is to build loyal and effective teams and customer relationships.

 

I strongly encourage you to share the models with your team and have an open discussion to compare where people identify their own tolerance levels. Once you understand how you perceive conflict and at what point that conflict puts you in a state of intolerable anxiety, especially relative to someone else’s tolerance, you’ll be better able to understand why your response to conflict defaults a certain way. Only then will it be possible to discover what you need to do to promote open discussion in a way that creates trust, and increases productivity and overall success.

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Personal Development

Boy, If You Don’t Stop

 

Aubrey “DRAKE” Graham is a Grammy-Award winning R&B/Hip-Hop artist. His unique style of soft rap that deals with difficult subjects has propelled him on Billboard charts. Recently his work was rewarded when he received 13 awards at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards. This is the greatest number of accolades ever given to an artist in a single year at this event.

Thirteen awards means giving thirteen acceptance speeches. The one that stands out is the second one. After giving shout-outs of appreciation to Vanessa Hudgens, Nicki Minaj and Ludacris, Drake gave a shout-out to his father, Dennis Graham.

Drake’s dad, a drummer who worked with Jerry Lee Lewis, attended the event wearing a purple suit and purple shoes. He looked exceptional. Drake yelled out to his father, “Boy, if you don’t stop!” That started a frenzy of comments because of the phrase.

“Boy, if you don’t stop” was something not heard before. It set off a surge of comments. Moreover, it set off a controversy. Drake made the comment as a compliment to his father. It was referring to how his dad looked in the purple suit and shoes. In essence, Drake was saying his father rocked the suit and looked fantastic.

Some people took, “Boy, if you don’t stop” as a criticism.  Their thought was there’s a conflict between father and son that was being revealed. People wondered what had caused such a disagreement that Drake would take that moment to expose it. Consequently, they went about spreading their meaning to anyone who would listen.

How can a simple statement like, “Boy, if you don’t stop” be interpreted in opposite ways. It goes back to the problem we are having today with communication. Those hearing the message are not listening, they are interpreting. Instead of figuring out what the speaker said they are coming up with their own message.

Communication is the interchange of words. The purpose is to share knowledge, opinions, and facts. The value of this interchange is only as good as the receiver understanding what the speaker is saying. Otherwise communication did not occur.

Today people put in their own meaning as to what someone is saying. They aren’t listening. They do not try to capture what the speaker is saying. The point of communication is to impart what one person knows to another. If someone walks away from a conversation with what they thought instead of what was said there was no interchange. No message was delivered. No communication took place.

When involved in a conversation, listen to attain what is being shared. It doesn’t make sense to put in your own thoughts about what a person says. You are just listening to yourself. You haven’t learned anything. Why did you even get in a conversation with someone if you weren’t going to listen to them?

Listen, not interpret. Even if you disagree with them there is always something you can learn. If you don’t understand what they are saying, ask them. If you are unable to ask them then look at the context they said it in. The words surrounding the part you are questioning will give you a clue to what the speaker meant. Just like with Drake. Right before he gave a shout-out to his dad, he was complementing Vanessa Hudgens and Nicki Minaj. Drake was complementing his father and he did it in a big way. “Boy, if you don’t stop!”

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Motivate Your Team

Have you ever felt that if you could just motivate your team everything would be better? Why aren’t they motivated? Why don’t they want to do what needs to be done?

One of the reasons your team might not be as motivated as you would like is because people are not completely motivated by external factors, or at least they are not motivated by them for very long. A leader can inspire someone to action, but true, long-lasting motivation can only come from within the individual.

Think about something you have done that did not come from you, but had external forces behind it. Maybe it was where you went to school, what you majored in, a project at work, chores around the house, exercise, etc.

Now don’t get me wrong there are lots of projects and chores that come from external sources, but what I’m talking about for these has to do with being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I bet you can come up with several situations where you excelled at tasks that you were given control over doing a way that felt good for you and other situations where you dreaded what you had to do because the motivation was not from within. When you get to create the path you are going to take it is much more motivating than when someone else tries to create it for you.

Since long lasting motivation must come from within you probably want to know how to create motivation in others, like your team or your employees. The following are three ways you can tap into key motivators to create engagement, which is one of the pieces of a high performance team.

 

First – Alignment

You want to align people with the work they do in a way that allows them to contribute who they are to a task. That means if someone loves creating systems and complex problems don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work and if someone else loves working in a group and brainstorming don’t put them at a desk where they have to work for hours alone with no input from others.

These of course are simplified examples, but the point I’m getting at is that when people are able to contribute in a way that lights them up there is little they won’t do to contribute. They will work with more focus, more dedication, more consistency, and they will go above and beyond.

 

Second – The Big Picture

People want to know how they fit into the big picture. How does their work help the organizations goals? What is it that they do that helps the corporate mission? People are truly motivated by purpose and in many cases more motivated by purpose than money. But they have to know the purpose and they have to also believe in it. This is especially true if you want to tap into the powerful energy that Millennials will bring to your workforce.

 

Third – Continued Growth

Once you have people in the right role who understand and believe in the team’s purpose, you must encourage their development. Learning new things that interest them and continued growth motivates people. They want to know they have opportunities within the team or organization to move up and grow. I don’t know very many people who say, “I’m good where I am, and I don’t want to do anything more, learn anything new, or make more money.” While the initial driver may or may not be long-term financial growth, people want to know they have somewhere to go with you or they will go somewhere else.

Take some time to reflect on what motivates you and start to look at what motivates those around you. Remember, just because something motivates you does not mean it will do the same for the rest of your team. If you want to learn more about the tools I use to help individuals and teams clarify their direction and understand who they are better visit www.c-suiteresults.com and check out the Core Value Index.

One of your jobs as a leader is to inspire those around you so that they are motivated to contribute fully, which will result in improved engagement, higher employee retention, and better overall results for them and of course for you. See how you can use these tips to amplify their motivation and help create better results for everyone on your team.

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Women In Business

Dads: Raise Your Daughters to be CEOS

Father’s Day is coming up, so in the spirit of honoring the male role models in our lives, I’d like to share a special note with all the dads and other men (and women) out there about how to raise your daughters to be a successful, confident and happy future executive.

Over the years, I’ve spoken in front of myriad professional women’s groups, and coached women at every level and in every industry imaginable, and one factor regularly surfaces as having a major influence on their current levels of confidence and self-efficacy: their relationship with their fathers.

I often get asked how I’ve developed my confidence and sense of self, and more and more I realize how much of the credit goes to my father (and mother) for setting this foundation in me in all these ways and more.

Dad (a music teacher) encouraged me to audition for all-state band (I played the alto sax), which I did all four years of high school, even though I only made it once. After each audition, we’d talk about what went right and wrong and how to do better next time.

He pushed me to take honors classes but didn’t flinch when I agreed to take AP history and Spanish but not calculus (thank goodness!)

(I’ll probably get flack for this, but I’m going to mention it anyway.) He also always told me I was pretty, even when my ever-fluctuating adolescent weight was on the top end of the yo-yo curve. To a teenage girl’s self-esteem, it mattered. A lot.

When I decided to go for my PhD instead of getting a “regular job” he asked probing questions so we could discuss the pros and cons and the best way to make it work.

And he never once gave me a guilt trip about my biological clock or his (undeniable) desire for grandchildren even though I was 40 before I finally met my husband.

He let me know that he recognized my efforts and intentions, trusted my judgment and respected my decision, even when we didn’t see eye to eye.

Most importantly, even when I had genuinely messed up, even though he was really upset with me in the moment, he never belittled me or called me names, and he made it clear that he still loved me.

So for all you parents, here are four strategies for how to communicate with your daughters in a way that builds her confidence and empowers her with the skills and perspective to be a successful leader:

  • Talk to your daughter. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations, and ask tough and sometimes personal questions to help her think through things, then be prepared to listen. Listen to truly understand her motivations rather than to identify the holes in her argument and formulate your rebuttal.
  • Challenge her to try new things, and set ambitious but attainable goals. Celebrate victories, acknowledge and praise progress and efforts. Recognize the difference between when to say, “it’s okay, you can’t win ‘em all” and “I don’t think you really gave it your best. What happened?”
  • Invite her to initiate difficult conversations with you instead of hiding her true feelings.
  • Even when she does make a mistake or otherwise does something you don’t approve of, make it clear that the you think the decision or action was dumb, not that she is stupid. Then – possibly an hour or so later after you’ve cooled off – remind her that you love her and are proud of her no matter what.

If you can fine-tune your objectivity regarding this aspect of your relationship with your daughters now – no matter what their age or family or professional status – that sets a foundation for success that no fancy MBA can match!

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Quickly Increase your Performance

You have likely lost sleep at some point in your career trying to figure out what you could do to increase your performance at work or the performance of your team. If you are a leader with high ambition and big goals, it makes sense that you have given this a lot of thought.

I want to talk about one key skill that you can apply immediately to increase your own performance or help your team apply it for maximum results. You don’t need to buy anything, log onto anything, or spend time reading technical manuals. All you need to do is listen.

That’s right I’m talking about improving your listening skill as a way to increase your performance.

Ineffective listening is the cause of many breakdowns between co-workers, teams, and companies as well as the cause of many accidents. With ineffective listening instructions get missed, production decreases, sales and customers are lost, and personality clashes create poor morale.

When you are in a conversation are you more focused on talking or listening? We often forget that there are two parts of communicating, one is talking and the other is listening and in all actuality listening is the more important of the two components.

Poor listening habits can often be attributed to a lack of training and like any skill, listening can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

When you communicate through focused listening you build better relationships that will help take you personally and professionally to the next level of your success. When you want to make an important sale you have to know your client or customer, what their problems are and then communicate how you can solve their problem. Without listening you are going to miss out on the key facts you need to build that relationship and make the sale. Your client does not want to hear you talk about you and how great you are, they want you to listen to them and tell them how you can fix their problems.

The same is true for listening to your co-workers and team members; you have to know who they are in order to help motivate them to work the long hours on the priority project or to go above and beyond for the client. When you listen to those you work with you understand what drives them and that allows you to create stronger teams and more loyal employees. You know that turnover is very costly and this is one aspect of retaining employees, letting them know you are listening and that you care about them through your actions, which start with listening.

When your intent in communicating is all about what you are going to say next, you are not truly listening. I know you are conscious of how rude it is to interrupt another person while having a conversation and if you are thinking to yourself during the same conversation “what am I going to say next,” you are in effect doing the same thing. You did interrupt them because you were not listening, so what they just said may as well not been said since you didn’t hear it.

This makes listening the key step to a good conversation and even more importantly a tough conversation. You want to listen to understand, listen to gather information, and listen with no interruption (audibly or in your head.)

Once you have listened and heard what the other person is telling you, then you have the opportunity to talk. But your turn to talk means clarifying what they have said, making sure they know you heard them, and confirming what they want and need.

The goal of most communication should be to have the other person do more of the talking while you guide the conversation with open-ended questions that are meant to be clarifying and compassionate. When you have clarified everything you can then ask them “do you mind if I share with you my thoughts on this situation?” Most likely they are ready to hear your thoughts because you took the time to listen and they felt heard. At this point they really do want to know what you think.

You can also let them feel heard by saying “I hear that this is stressful for you and that makes sense based on what you told me…..” Get their confirmation that you hard them correctly and ask if you can share some ideas that might help. They are ready to hear what you have to share because they appreciate the time you took to really hear them even if what you have to share is not good news.

The other thing to remember is that what you say is important, but how you say it is just as important if not more important. People will remember how you made them feel long after they have forgotten what you actually said. If you can remain calm and compassionate they are going to feel it and appreciate you.

Next time someone comes to you with a problem or an idea make sure you are ready to fully listen and if it’s not a time where you can give them your undivided attention tell them that. Say “now is not a good time for me to be fully present, can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” Let them know what they have to say is important and you want to be sure you are fully present to hear them. Remember people want to be heard and they will appreciate this, which goes a long way with clients and employees.

Not only will this help improve your performance as you start to hear more ideas around you, it will create bonds with those who need and want your services.

 

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com

Categories
Best Practices Human Resources Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Love Endures Storms

Did you wake up this morning not wanting to face the day? Just to put 2 feet on the ground, rise up and face your obstacle, your fear, your pain takes courage. No matter what storm is circling in your life, it cannot last.

Absolutely, it is shaking you up, making you feel uncomfortable.  That feeling, the one that is stirring your soul is called LOVE, inner LOVE. When everything around you is dark, look to inner LOVE, to find the strength to endure the storm.

 

Are you facing an obstacle at the office or at home? 

We all go through storms of life to move us, put us on a new path, a

 different path or perhaps a “wake up call” for change. When you are in the midst of your storm, rise up, find that strength, the inner love and pay very close attention to the message. The storm is stirring you up like a big roar but quietly whispering a message, a gentle push toward your new awakening. Pay close attention ….Don’t Miss It!

 

Love, especially self love is the #1 Motivator in the world.  It compels you to rise to your greatness.  How you react to your storms of challenge and circumstance come from your Love Placement System (LPS) which is a belief system inside yourself that has been developed over the years. 

 

If you are faced with a challenge at the office, how you want to react is triggering you to grow and rise to your greatness.  When you feel the storm, it’s calling out to you to rise to become better.  What can you do to be a better leader in your company, or perhaps a better husband or wife at home?  It’s simple – STORMS are lightening bolts shining brightly on what needs to change.  How you quiet your storm is based on your ability to see it as a lesson and a gift.   If you practice healthy self love, you will not hit the easy button.  You will sit with your storm and receive the lesson and RISE to your greatest potential.

Don’t React!  That doesn’t calm the storm.

And, in your storm, Be gentle with yourself. You are exactly in the midst of the uncomfortable for a reason.  Give yourself 1000 reasons to hold on to your inner LOVE. The strength to endure is in YOU!  The ability to grow and evolve into your best self will only make you a better leader in your professional life and a better person for all the relationships in your life.

 

If you notice that you keep facing the same storm, then you keep missing the messages, the lessons and the gift

 It doesn’t fade ~ Not until you learn how to Love yourself enough to seek growth to become the greatest version of yourself.  GO RISE!

 

 

Spread the Love,

Debbie Forth

Love Architect, Love Coach, Speaker

C-Suite Network Advisor & Contributing Editor

Debbie@DebbieForth.com

DebbieForth.com

“Architecting Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out”

 

Since 2012, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in creating the love-life of their dreams. Life’s too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled by one’s self — so what are you waiting for? Let me help you learn and develop better ways to handle the issues that are standing in the way of your goals. Are you ready to be held accountable to making the choices and changes to transform by falling in love with self and being ready to give/receive love to others?

“It’s with in our own stories that unlock the doors of healing for self and others.”

Categories
Best Practices Growth Personal Development Women In Business

What Makes a Personal Brand

What Makes a Personal Brand… Be Desired, Envied and BuzzWorthy

 

There are a lot of things that can define a person’s businesses and personal brand. It could be a picture, someone’s face, a logo, their reputation, or even an emotion. A brand is something that defines who you are personally and professionally. More importantly, it’s what pops into the public’s mind when the thought of you, or your business comes up. A good brand should be able to stand out, so it can be well known and recognized. You also want your brand to represent you. The way you portray your personal brand will be how people become familiar with you. For example, if you represent your brand to be fun loving and laid back. That’s what people will know you for, an easy going, and fun type of company or business. If you portray your business to be professional and strict, people will come to know your brand to be a “no nonsense” type of business, etc. Although there are a lot of things that can affect how your brand is portrayed, there are also a lot of things that can determine your brands sustainability.

 

One quality that everyone wants in their brand is sustainability. It’s great to have a business that sticks in a person’s head for the moment, but the trick is to sustain that. One of the most important things to remember when building your own brand is how you, your business, or your company behaves will directly affects your brands image and sustainability. For example, a media personality is judged by how they present themselves both through the media and their own personal life. So if they are portraying themselves to be one thing, but the public witnesses those people acting another way, it will greatly affect the way the public eye sees them as a genuine media personality.

 

As the leader of Girl Scouts, I would have to remind my staff that although they’re off the clock on weekends pole dancing is not acceptable. You are always representing the organization and your personal brand.

 

It’s the same way with personal branding. If you portray your brand to be a picture of happiness and structure, but when someone walks into your office it’s cluttered and unorganized, that will reflect badly on your brands image. It will also affect sustainability. Your brand will not last if you or your business does not come off as genuine. You have to maintain the image you are looking to portray within your brand. A lot of people will always stick with a certain brand because the brand is genuine, authentic, or even because it seems like a family brand, which takes emotion into consideration. My grandmother would say, “If your name was on the front-page news… the media was buzzing, what do you want them to say about you?”  

 

When building your own personal brand, think about what your business or company is about, think about what the main focus of your business or company is. Do you want your brand to portray an understanding, people friendly sort of environment?  Emotional engagement is a big part of learning to create a brand that is long lasting, and memorable. People choose brands based on a certain emotion that prompted them to choose one, over another. Learning how to use emotional engagement to connect with consumers or clients will build a brand that is personal, trusting, and understanding. It will build a brand that people will trust over any other for years to come, regardless of what another brand may be offering. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed perfect formula for creating a brand that will last and become successful. However, there are certain tips and tricks that can help you to understand what it will take for your specific brand to be successful, and long lasting. This takes creating a strong action plan.

 

If you’re in the process of building your own personal brand and have hit a few bumps in the road, you may want to implement a little change management and organizational happiness to help improve the success rate of your brand. Learn more about emotional engagement and incorporate that into the building process of your brand. Remember that how the people and the business operate behind closed doors will define how people look at your personal brand. Be organized… be transparent! Personal happiness is something every brand should portray. No matter how much you use change management to improve the path of your personal brand, if you don’t have an organized plan or idea just like in business, it will be quite hard to do things in a way that look professional. And there always has to be a certain level of professionalism, at least a perception of professionalism. The most important thing is to figure out what will work best for your specific situation, and always practice being your authentic self. Be desired, envied by others, and buzz worthy in a good way.

 

Be Unstoppable

 

 

Our program can help you do just that. We offer the tools and strategies so you too can Be Unstoppable Together.   

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post; want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

By Connie Pheiff, Unstoppable DIVA

Pheiffgroup.com * unstoppablespeaker.la

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Power Speaking Skills:  Strategies to Increase Harmony in Conversation, Part 1: Tone of Voice:

In this video, Maria tells you how to increase harmony in challenging business conversations by monitoring and modifying your tone of voice.

The Successful Speaker, Inc. video series provides speaking strategies that will help you enhance your credibility and leadership presence during meetings, sales presentations, conversations with senior management, networking events, and even by phone.

The video series addresses every aspect of successful speaking, including how to sound authoritative, speak with credibility, master active listening, and engage your listeners. The videos also provide speaking strategies rooted in theatrical performance, providing tips on how to build belief and captivate your business listeners.

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development

Think Your Voice Sounds Weird? Here’s Why.

If you’re like most people, when you hear yourself on a recording, your first thought is, “Oh my gosh, that’s not really what I sound like, is it?” The short answer is: yup, that’s you! Here’s a bit of insight as to why, and a few tips to make sure you sound your best, no matter what kind of voice you have.

When you are listening to someone else, the “input” goes in your ear, hits the ear drum, and sends vibrations through the inner ear canal, which the auditory nerve takes up to the brain for interpretation. This is also how it works when you’re listening to yourself on a recording, which is like listening to another person.

On the flip side, when you speak, of course your own words come out your mouth and the sound goes into your ear for the same process we just discussed, but that’s only half of the input.

The other half is that when you speak, air comes up from your lungs through your throat and vibrates through your vocal cords, the “source” of your voice. But then those vibrations also ricochet off the muscles in your throat and mouth, in your nasal cavity, and create residual vibrations that hit the bones in your neck and head as well, sending their own pulses to the brain.

In essence, when you listen to someone else or a recording of yourself, you’re listening in “mono-sound,” or single track. But when you listen to yourself while you’re speaking, you’re listening in “stereo” or “surround-sound,” with a much fuller, richer sound.

So how can you ensure that everyone hears your best, most melodic voice? Here’s three quick tips that will help them hear your ideal sound.

First, hydrate. Make sure you drink enough water, because a dry throat, dry mouth and tired throat muscles don’t allow sound to flow easily. The “fine print” to this is that it also means you should limit caffeine (*gasp!*) prior to an important speaking opportunity, because caffeine is a diuretic that makes the problem worse.

Second, limit dairy. Dairy produces mucous, and mucous gives you that sensation of perpetually needing to clear your throat as well, which is an annoying habit to hear time and again in any speech, presentation or conversation.

Lastly, breathe! The way you breathe will directly affect the quality of your voice. Start with your posture. If you’re slouched in your chair, you limit the amount of air you can take in, which is the fuel for your voice. And as you run out of air, it “fries out,” with a frog-like, croaky sound. Some people also ramble on and on without taking a breath for fear that if they do, someone will jump in during that split second and cut them off. Once the air is mostly gone, if you keep on talking, that same vocal “fry” will creep in again.

Why does this matter? Because not only is it unpleasant and even annoying to listen to, but it sounds insecure, timid, and hesitant, which is a combo that connotes anything but leadership.

So remember: Drink water, limit caffeine and dairy before speaking, and remember to take enough breaths while you’re speaking. This allows you to maximize the fullness of your tone, so the voice you hear in your head more accurately reflects the voice that everyone else hears when they listen to you… and that’s a voice the projects confidence, control, poise and power.

Who doesn’t like the sound of that?

********

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to instantly schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

Categories
Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

Old Habits Die Hard: Management Ideas and Employee Engagement

They say old habits die hard. It’s true. Some scientists explain this by explaining how 90-95% of our brain activity is unconscious. Therefore, most of our decisions are already made before we even think about them (Shahram Heshmat, 2016). We tend to act on previous information and/or patterns 90-95% of the time.

What does this have to do with employee engagement? Engagement has been, and remains, a major issue for today’s C-Suite occupants. In Deloitte’s Global Human Capital Trends, culture and engagement emerged as the most prominent issue overall (Singh, 2015). Furthermore, the gap between the importance the C-Suite executives place on improving engagement and their organizations’ readiness to act, remains significant. Other data confirms this. In 2015, the average percentage of employees engaged in the U.S. stood at 32%. This number has barely fluctuated for 20 years (Employee Engagement is U.S. Stagnant in 2015, 2016).

Which old habits are contributing to this stagnation in engagement improvement? There is never one answer. One factor is the language we continually use to describe people and situations. Because, it is a habit. The language remains the same because it is very often unconscious. If we change our language we can begin to change thinking. Our thinking can influence our actions which will change the stagnant engagement results.

We continue to use phrases that solicit thinking and behaviors inconsistent with engagement. Manager, manage people, management of people, Human Resource management, performance management all have their derivation in the word “manage.” According to Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith, management of people, as a profession, began with the rise of slavery (Goldsmith, 2002). Cloke and Goldsmith explain how the expansion of agriculture required some of the select slaves be chosen to oversee the growing number of slaves needed to meet the growth demands.

The definition of “manage” always includes the word control. The idea that people must be controlled must naturally follow from this language. I believe our old habit of using the phrases of management elicits feelings of control and those feelings are inconsistent with optimum employee engagement feelings of self-control, volunteerism, freedom, autonomy, creativity, etc.

According to Vocabulary.com, the likely origin of the word manager is from the word manus meaning hand, and that hand guides others. Slavery was needed to sustain the economic performance of the time. Therefore, managers were needed to sustain it. The combination of absent owners and the continued lack of motivation demonstrated by the slaves made the “manager’s” role essential. Managers were encouraged to discipline and control the workforce. The absent owners depended on the skill of the managers to protect their wealth. Without their oversight, no one would remain a slave and submit to the arduous labor required.

Slaves needed to be controlled and this relationship between manager and slave created much dysfunction, in the form of alienation, periodic revolts, and lack of motivation. In his book The End of Racism, Dinesh D’Souza explains how slavery as a system can be blamed for cultural norms such as self-defeating and irresponsible attitudes (D’Souza, 1995). These behaviors clearly match those of the disengaged and actively disengaged workers.

So, what can we do to shift these habits and begin to pave the way for improved employee engagement? One excellent option is to use different language to describe people and their roles. Can we use facilitator or process facilitator in place of manager or department manager? A facilitator is one who makes things easier for others. He/she facilitates the achievement of outcomes. It’s not about control. It is about making things easier to achieve aligned goals. Can we begin to replace the word manager with phrases such as sales department facilitator, finance department facilitator? Perhaps we need to be creative.

Can we begin to think of employees as volunteers? Can we use the phrase, “paid volunteer?” When one is a volunteer they do something out of volition or heart. They do it because they are willing and committed, not controlled. Can we replace Human Resources Manager with “Paid Volunteer Facilitator”?

The use of facilitator in place of manager and volunteer in place of employee changes the relationships. It requires a higher level of trust and rejects the need for control. This idea of control damages engagement. I suggest we start using these innovative words as titles for replacing the “manager” phrases and employee phrases to begin to shift the unconscious choices we are making with the old outdated language. This will begin to break up the old habits and old ways of thinking which as unconscious and not working.

Dr. Wally Hauck, CSP helps leaders boost profit by unleashing the genius of every employee. By showing leaders how to get the best from their teams, with proven methods and by avoiding morale-busting mistakes, leaders can achieve their strategic goals more quickly and with less waste.

For more than 20 years Wally has worked with nearly 200 organizations, hundreds of leaders, and thousands of employees to optimize engagement and customer experience. Many have achieved significant transformational improvements.

Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania. Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP. As a professor of Organizational Change and Development at the University of New Haven in Connecticut Wally received the highest ratings of all professors in 2012.

Wally is a proud member of the C-Suite Advisors Network

D’Souza, D. (1995). The End of Racism Principles for a Multiracial Society. New York, NY: The Free Press.

Employee Engagement is U.S. Stagnant in 2015. (2016, January 13). Retrieved from http://www.gallup.com: http://www.gallup.com/poll/188144/employee-engagement-stagnant-2015.aspx
Goldsmith, K. C. (2002). The End of Management And the Rise of Organizational Democracy. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons.

Shahram Heshmat, P. (2016, February 1). Why Old Habits Die Hard? Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com: https://www.relationshipscoach.co.uk/blog/research-shows-our-subconscious-mind-makes-our-decisions-for-us/

Singh, S. V. (2015). Global Human Capital Trends. Deloitte.