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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Mergers & Acquisition Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Shoulder Shrugs Can Expose Scary Secrets in a Negotiation

“Shoulder shrugs expose secret information. Notice them to detect their secrets.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Have you heard the cliché, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”? If you have, do you subscribe to it? If you do, you shouldn’t. Because, a lack of knowledge can expose you to scary secrets in a negotiation – secrets that can bite you at the most unsuspecting points in the negotiation. But, there’s one way you can protect yourself. How – by accurately interpreting the meaning of shoulder shrugs when you negotiate.

Shoulder shrugs convey secret information. They expose hidden thoughts of the person that’s attempting to hide those thoughts.

Observe the following shoulder shrug examples. You’ll obtain hidden information that those shrugs attempt to conceal.

When a person displays a shoulder shrug, it can represent a multitude of hidden meanings. It can be a sign of reluctance (i.e. what more do you expect of me) – a sign of protection (i.e. I’m not going to stick my neck out) – it can also be a sign of exasperation (i.e. I’m getting tired of this). Regardless of the hidden meaning, it gives additional insight into the thoughts of that person.

Single Shrug: A single shrug can denote a lack of full commitment in response to a question or statement made.

Leaning Preference

  • When displaying a single shoulder shrug, a person will tend to favor their dominant side. This is important to note – because it adds additional meaning to the shrug. As an example, if someone that’s right-handed shrugs their left shoulder, he may be displaying less of a commitment to the response that caused the gesture. As with everything related to reading body language, you must establish someone’s body language foundation before you can accurately assess the validity of their actions.

Double Shrug: A double shrug (both shoulders elevated) can connote more commitment to a reply or statement.

As an example, if one elevated both shoulders while stating, “I didn’t do it”, she’d be displaying more commitment to the statement then if she displayed a single shrug – note: to discern the probability of the truth you should still probe deeper. The act of the shrug is that person’s commitment to her pronouncement at that moment – it can change with further probing.

Leaning Preference

  • When someone performs a double shrug, that person’s hands provide additional insights. As an example, if an offer is made consisting of two items and the recipient says, “I don’t care”, while shrugging with one hand higher than the other, he’s nonverbally expressing a preference for one of the items – the preference lies in the order the items were offered or their proximity to the hand that’s higher.

Additional Shrug Meanings:

Hands: The movement of someone’s hands lends insights into their thoughts. To gather additional awareness per the meaning of a shrug, take note of …

  • hands close to the body – indicates they’re guarded
  • hands palms-up – signals they have less to conceal
  • hands palms-down – they’re less accepting
  • hands palms-up-and-out – says, keep away from me

Head Tuck: To observe how threatened someone might feel when they shrug, note the degree they protect their head when …

  • head extends forward – says, I’ll challenge you
  • head to one side – denotes preference
  • head straight up – states, I’m willing to expose more of myself
  • head tucked – says, I’m making myself less of a target

Of course, the additional shrug meanings can conceal someone’s real intent. That’s because good negotiators can affect this maneuver to add perceived emotional credibility to their effect.

Shrug Time:

Always note the length of time a shrug lasts and the number of times they occur. The length and number of times will indicate a person’s ever-changing degree of angst or determination to get you to back off. In all cases, they’ll be signaling information that you can use to enhance the negotiation.

Action Item:

Start noticing when, under what circumstances, and how frequently people shrug their shoulders. Doing that will increase your attentiveness and skills about this behavior. That will allow you to become a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#ShoulderShrug #secrets #NegotiationStrategies #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Not Thinking Right Can Lead to the Wrong Outcome

“You affect your thoughts by the order in which you think. Always think about the way you think.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He was flying to Toronto from the U.S. He noticed a $250 difference in the airfare when flying into one airport versus another. He also noted that the two airports were only 13 miles apart. So, he thought, for a $250 savings, I’ll fly into the less expensive airport. That was the beginning of a bad decision! It was not the #right #outcome that he’d hoped for.

When you think about maximizing your outcomes, do you consider the order of your thoughts and how that influences your thinking? At what point do you consider you’ve received enough information before deciding to take action? Those are very important questions to ponder. Because, based on the order of your thoughts, you’ll adopt one action versus another. That, in turn, determines the degree of value you add or subtract to the outcome.

To improve your thought process, consider the following.

The Story:

In the situation with the airports, the ground transportation from the less expensive airport was $250 roundtrip, to get to the hotel and back to the airport. That negated the savings of flying into the less expensive airport. Plus, more time was required to get from the less expensive airport to the hotel. Yuck!

Mistakes in Thinking:

Our friend made the following misjudgments in his thinking:

  1. He figured, since the airports were only 13 miles apart, ground transportation wouldn’t be more than $60 roundtrip – he made that assessment based on travels he’d undertaken in the U.S. – he missed that guess by $190 – ouch!
    • A lesson to observe – everyplace is not like every other place. Unless you have factual data, don’t assume what was true in the past will be constant with the situation you’re considering.
  1. Our friend did not consider calling the hotel and asking for information about its proximity to airports and ground transportation.
    • Had he sought further information – our friend would have received feedback that led him to make a better decision. He would have recognized the value he thought was in the less expensive hotel was a mirage.
  1. Our friend was in a hurry to book the flight and move on to other activities.
    • Sometimes, you should let information simmer before acting on it. In that time, you may consider additional thoughts that alter the value of that information. Our friend’s hasty decision created more angst than he initially realized. Don’t let that happen to you.

Action item:

The lesson offered from this information yes, when making important decisions, you should take note of your thinking process. Pay special attention to outcomes that may leave you in a place that you’d rather not be in – or one that could have been better.

Before committing to an action, consider thoughts you might engage, the order of those thoughts, thoughts that might serve you better, and why you weren’t thinking about those thoughts before the outcome you arrived at. Doing so will lead to more fruitful and happier outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

If you’re unprepared for a negotiation situation, your assessment, and the way you respond may later become deemed as being irrational. Thinking about situations you might encounter ahead of time and preparing for them will temper possible negative outcomes – it will also give you more opportunities to consider how to think differently and/or better about the situation.

Therefore, in a negotiation, the order of your thoughts will have a drastic effect on the actions you take per the offers and counteroffers you make – that will determine the outcome of the negotiation. Thus, you should consider what’s motivating your thinking, why you’re motivated to think that way and where those thoughts may lead. By doing that, your thought process and how you order your thoughts will become your greatest assets.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#right #outcome #wrong #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Beware Silly Provocations – How to Hack Crisis Negotiations

“Never fall prey to a silly provocation. It can be the prelude to a contrived crisis.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

She wanted everyone to know that she was upset. Her language was foul, loud, and silly. She presented it as a provocation to induce hot drama. Its delivery occurred in a cool and calculated manner with the intent of inciting a crisis. One might think that occurred during a nasty negotiation – it happened in a small bank branch. And the occurrence was the pronouncements of a customer who at first demeaned a bank teller and then the branch manager.

In a negotiation, there are ways to hack situations such as what occurred with the foul silly-mouth customer. The following are a few of those hacks.

Environment:

The individual in the bank repeatedly complained aloud about the possibility of her ‘personal’ information being overheard by other customers – note that she meant her personal information – she claimed the teller asked for it to determine her identity. To the customer, that was an offense.

Hack: When dealing with people that appear to lack lucidity, assess if their demeanor is an act. Based on your assessment, be logical or illogical with them. Then, note the change in their demeanor. If they begin to use logic to strengthen their position, use logic in addressing them further. If they’re illogical, ask what they would do if they were in your position with the guidelines you’re working with. Either way, they’ll give you the solution to the problem. Thank them for it. And if it’s to your benefit, use it. If it’s not, excuse them or yourself from the surroundings.

Had the customer been in a different environment (e.g. church) and she’d not received the outcome sought, her demeanor more than likely would have been different. Thus, always consider the environment that one is in when they project certain conducts. And question if it would be the same if not in that setting.

Personal Assessment:

In a negotiation, always consider the type of individual you’re dealing with. Evaluate to what degree she’s educated, a bully embarrasses easily, or someone that never adopts shame for an action. That insight will give you a measure of understanding as to what type of personality you’re dealing with. That, in turn, will give you clues to how best to deal with that individual.

Educated – Everything being equal, people with higher levels of education can be dealt with at higher levels of reasoning.

Hack: Thus, if negotiating with someone of this ilk, try using logic to reason with them. They may not succumb to your behests. But you’ll have a greater chance of calming them before they become more irrational acting.

Bully – People with bully tendencies seek attention. They want to be perceived as someone that demands respect – in their mind they’re someone that others should not trifle with. Some negotiators will use bullying as a tactic – they’ll do so to determine how far they can push you.

Hack: If you sense someone’s attempting to use provocation as a bullying tool, stand your ground – act bravely! If you give in, they’ll push you harder and further.

Embarrassment – The person that embarrasses easily is on the opposite coin of the person that never adopts shame for her actions. The shameless person will attempt to project her antics to burrow into your psyche. By doing so, she assumes she’ll enhance the probability that you’ll acquiesce to her demands.

Hack 1: For the shameless person, don’t let her tactics effect you. Suggest aloud that you’re aware of her attempts – do so boldly! Then note to what degree she escalates or de-escalates the situation. If she escalates, she may be testing your resolve to determine its validity. What you do next will impact the rest of your interactions – choose wisely between upping your stance again or deflating it. If she de-escalates, she will have given you control. Make haste with it while softening your behavior as her reward.

Hack 2: For the person that embarrasses easily, temper her antics by raising the stakes – deal with her sternly but in degrees. She doesn’t want others judging her harshly. Thus, she won’t escalate a situation that causes her embarrassment – therein lies her vulnerability. Be cautious about appearing to take advantage of her. Anyone can become irrational when pushed too hard. That’ll make them less predictable, which could make a negotiation more difficult.

Provocations, silly or not, can occur in any negotiation. Controlled provocations are tools that good negotiators employ as a tactic. Having greater insight into hacking their efforts will prevent you from falling into their traps, while agilely avoiding hidden crises … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Provocation #Hack #Crisis #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Long Will You Carry Your Burdens?

“Burdens will enslave you. Set yourself free by releasing them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

The rod broke! It was repaired – clothes were placed back on it – it broke again, was repaired again and now it had fallen again. The rod gave way to the burden of the weight it carried.

In life, you too carry burdens. They come in the form of anxiety, stress, disappointment, perceived rejection, lack of perceived success, and what may appear to be mayhem. When encumbered by them, you’re delayed from swifter movement until you’re able to rid yourself of them. Between those points, those burdens weigh you down – they cause you not to be as efficient as you otherwise would be – they wreak havoc in your life, which spills over to those closest to you. They cause your life to be a hell on earth. Stop the madness! Control your burdens.

Extended Time:

Over an extended time, the rod was slowly bending to the will of the weight it bore. The slowly yielding process that sapped the strength of the rod occurred at such a leisurely pace, the naked eye couldn’t recognize what was happening. That’s what occurs to you when you have too much of a burden to carry. The weight of it slowly causes you to denigrate into a state of decline. If recognition occurred sooner, you could address the situation before it sapped you of your vitality.

Comfortability:

So why don’t you recognize when a burden is becoming too uncomfortable to endure before it becomes too uncomfortable to endure? The answer is, your psyche tells you that you can bear the discomfort – you can take the pain. It won’t last much longer – be tough! While that can serve as a great source of motivation in the right situation, it’s a double-edged sword. Thus, if not controlled, it can leave you in an uncontrollable state.

Caution:

When you’re besieged by heavy burdens, don’t let them weigh you down – you already know the consequences of that. When you’re beleaguered by thoughts of uncertainty that assail your mind, listen to those signals. They’re warning you that your load is too heavy – it’s akin to your engine light flashing red. At a minimum, recognize and acknowledge that you’re in an area that may be fraught with potential danger.

Action Time:

The rod broke because the heft upon it was too great a load to sustain. Like the rod, your life will also break if you don’t castoff burdens that are too great for you to the harbor.

If you sense too many obstacles are creating too many burdens for you to bear, shed them from your life. Your load will be lighter. You will be able to move more freely as you move towards greater goals that will improve your life. You will have freed yourself to be freer to achieve more and be more of what you were meant to be … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Negotiators bring their burdens into the negotiation. Those burdens cause them to react in different ways depending on the gravity of them. Thus, their burdens impact the negotiation process.

Just like people move quicker away from something that’s too painful and more slower towards pleasure, so will they release a burden when it becomes too cumbersome to bear in a negotiation. What that suggests is, depending on the negotiator type that you’re negotiating with, you can use the weight of a burden or the release of it (pleasure) to motivate him to adopt one position versus another. The one you choose would be dependent on which served you best. And that would be dependent on the situation and the individual.

While burdens can be cumbersome, recognizing the value of using them as a tool during a negotiation can work to your benefit. Thus, if your burden is too heavy during a negotiation, attempt to transfer it to the other negotiator. You’ll get a reaction from him – note it. If he displays discomfort, extend an offer to relieve him of that burden. He’ll be grateful to you for having done so. You will have taken the burden that you gave him back. But you will have also gained a better position in the negotiation for doing so.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#burden #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Women In Business

How to Stop Crazy Negotiators from Killing Negotiations

“To stop crazy negotiators from acting crazy, preempt them before they do so.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“That #negotiator was crazy. He made offers and then took them back. Worse, when you mentioned it, he acted like he didn’t know what you were referring to. I thought his antics would kill the #negotiation. How did you learn to deal with such crazy negotiators?” – said a junior member of a negotiation team to his team leader.

Everyone has encountered an experience such as mentioned. You engage in a negotiation assuming the other negotiator will act rationally. And instead, that person risks killing the negotiation because of his craziness. Such antics can leave you wondering if you’re dealing with a sane individual, someone that’s attempting to use ‘crazy’ as a tactic, or someone that’s just full of buffoonery. In either case, the following information will give you a format for dealing with such people.

Form of Communication:

If based on prior behavior, you believe you’ll be negotiating with someone that’s erratic, put as many components of the negotiation in place before sitting at the negotiation table. You want to leave as little to chance as possible. To do that, consider using written communications to outline what will be negotiated and to set the conduct boundaries before agreeing to meet. He may act unreasonably face-to-face. But if you’ve set prior parameters, you can point to them to illustrate when he’s out of bounds.

Team Environments:

When dealing with an opposing team, the dynamics can be a little more daunting. That could be due, in part, to the team’s leader not having the control to manage it or any number of other variables.

Nevertheless, if you sense irrationality due to inner bickering amongst the opposing team, consider a divide and conquer strategy – play the strongest against the weakest and the weakest against the strongest. To do that, lend more credibility to an offer made by a weaker member – they should be speaking with one voice but remember, they’re bickering. You’re endeavoring to get the team to bicker more with one another to sow discontent.

Individuals:

When dealing with an individual, you need to know more about the forces that are motivating his actions. As an example, he may have been told to close a ridiculously difficult deal or lose his position with the organization. He may have inferred that he’d get a long-awaited promotion if the deal is within certain parameters. He may also be the setup for the next phase of the negotiation and not even be aware of that. Thus, he’s told to hammer you hard for a deal, only to have the deal supplanted by his superior who will assume the role of lead negotiator in the next phase. You think you’re dealing with one person that’s acting irrationally when, you’re really dealing with a team that could be playing good cop/bad cop – you just don’t know it. And that’s to your detriment.

To insulate yourself from such tactics:

  1. Inquire about others in his environment that might be interested in the deal.
  2. Have him confirm in writing that he has final approval to agree to a deal (watch his body language when doing this – if he displays any form of hesitancy, he may be sending a signal of discomfort. That could indicate that he’s not the final arbiter.)
  3. Get him to commit in-writing every understanding that you have about a deal. Do this as you move from one phase of the negotiation to the next.

The point is, if he’s acting crazily, you want to identify the reason for such actions and eradicate them before investing a lot of time in the negotiation.

Conclusion:

There are multiple numbers of ways to control a negotiator that appears to be crazy, irrational or one that attempts to bully you during a negotiation. When dealing with such, point out what’s at stake. Get their buy-in for the agreement and state the consequences as being huge and painful if broken. Doing so will lessen the chance that the crazy type of negotiator will get the best of you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Crazy #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Does This End?

“Always assess whether you should attempt to influence outcomes. It may be more beneficial not to.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

You should always attempt to accurately assess a situation before attempting to influence it. That assessment will leave clues to how it might end. And, if you don’t like the possible ending, you may be better off not doing anything at all.

The Story:

The leader of team one was engaged in a negotiation against two other teams – they were negotiating the extension of a contract worth $10,000,000. To subvert the efforts of team three, the leader of team one offered a silent payment of $20,000 to the leader of team two if he could get team three to withdraw from the negotiation. After the teams haggled for several weeks, team one won the contract.

With glee in his heart and dollar signs in his eyes, the leader from team one gladly remitted the $20,000 bounty to his team two confederate. When team one’s leader asked the leader of team two how he convinced team three to drop out, he said, “it was easy. There was a clause in the current contract that stated the three teams had to negotiate in good faith for the extension renewal. The fact is, neither team two or three wanted the extended contract.” With that, the guy from team one said, you mean I could have saved my $20,000? The team-two leader said with a smile on his face, “that’s right!”

Survey:

If you knew something would end badly before engaging in it, would you go through with it? When a few hundred people answered that question, some of the answers were surprising. Some of them said they’d embrace the situation because it would prepare them for other activities – thus, they would learn from the bad situation, which would allow them to be better prepared to address a greater situation in the future. One would think that thought process goes against conventional wisdom. But it may not, depending on who you’re dealing with.

Assumptions:

How can you predict how someone will act if you don’t know their source of motivation? It’s a difficult assessment to make. You can’t even assess an accurate probability of how they might act.

When dealing with people, you should always attempt to predict how they might respond based on their interest. Don’t assume they’ll act in a prescribed manner unless you’ve received direct input from them or another reliable source. Even if it comes directly from them, you still must verify what they say through another source. To do less is to set yourself up for possible foolery. Adopt the perspective that people may not act in their best interest if you don’t know what their best interest is.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Don’t assume you know how people will act or react. When negotiating, understand what the other negotiator wants, why he wants it, and the reasoning behind his desires. To do that, solicit his honest input – tell him, the only way you can give him what he wants is to know exactly what that is.

It’s of equal importance to know what the other negotiator doesn’t want. This, combined with what he wants, will give you a more complete picture of what may drive his actions. With that insight, you’ll have a better idea of how the other negotiator wants the negotiation to end. Then, all you need to do is assist him in walking down that path. At the end of it, there will be a winning combination that’ll make him embrace the outcome of the negotiation. The point is, you will have known the answer ahead of time as to how does this end … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#end #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Negotiator: How to Detect Hidden Danger in a Handshake

“Danger lurks in many forms. Don’t let the concealed danger of a handshake endanger you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert 

“I didn’t come here to learn about handshakes. I came because I wanted to become a better #negotiator.” Those were the unfortunate comments of a seminar attendee. He didn’t realize that he’d overlooked a huge gambit in the negotiation process.

A #handshake conveys important information. The more people exchange them between one another, the more information they convey. It can say, I’m feeling overly optimistic today. It can say, my mood is somewhat deflated. It can also say that I’m going to dominate you because I feel superior today.

Very few people understand the value transmitted when they clasp someone’s hand. Are you aware of such messages when you shake someone’s hand?

After gaining insights from the following information, you’ll never look at, sense, or interpret a handshake as you’ve done in the past.

Wimpy:

Some people equate a weak or wimpy handshake with someone of the same character. Be careful of the assumptions you make.

A weak or wimpy handshake may send a silent message of subservience. It can also be the disguise of someone that’s significantly stronger in character than the handshake conveys. It’s one tactic that good negotiators use to dupe the other negotiator into perceiving a false sense of weakness. That’s done to acquire insight into what the other negotiator might do once she sensed that she was dealing with a mentally weaker opponent.

If you wonder about the validity of such a person, shake hands several times during your interactions. Note the slightest degree of change in the firmness of their handshake. To the degree change occurs, it’ll serve as a barometer indicating a change in character.

Bone-Crushing:

The delivery of a bone-crushing handshake can be an attempt to display strength and dominance. It can be someone’s lack of recognition of their strength related to the hand they’re shaking. It could also be an attempt to conceal weakness.

I recall a business associate telling me that I shook his hand too hard. I knew I possessed a firm handshake but I’d not considered it to be bone-crushing. My associate reiterated his statement a few times. After that, I was always more attentive to not shaking his hand with the prior degree of intensity that I’d used before.

The point is, if you do have a firm handshake, know when to moderate it based on the circumstances. If someone delivers a bone-crushing handshake upon you, and it’s painful, consider saying something. Then, note if any change occurs. If it does, the person is displaying more alignment with you. If it doesn’t, the person doesn’t care how you feel. In either case, you will have gained valuable insight into the person.

Releasing:

The person controlling a handshake is the one that releases it last. A handshake on average last about five seconds. Thus, the person holding the hand of the other individual the longest is stating that they’re not ready to release that person.

Take note when someone extends a handshake pass what’s normal for the situation. They may be sending a subliminal message that they’re superior. They might also be holding your hand longer to comfort you or themselves. Therefore, note when such occurs and the situation in which it happens. Doing so will allow you to gain additional insight as to why they’re committing that act.

Conclusion:

In every negotiation, note its beginning through the information sent via a handshake. If you become attuned to its intent, you’ll have greater insight into that person. That insight will add additional information about how you can negotiate better with them … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Danger #Handshake #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Are You Waiting For?

“To achieve more, you must know what more is and why you’re waiting to acquire it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I want to be fit and in shape. But I don’t put forth the effort to exercise. Thus, I’m not in shape. I have low-energy. And my physical appearance could be better. Still, I want the results of looking good, feeling good, and being fit. I don’t know what I’m waiting for before committing the actions required to achieve those goals!” Those were the words spoken by an associate as he lamented his plight. Have you pondered such thoughts about the goals you’ve sought to achieve? Have you thought about the consequences that lie in wait tomorrow, as the result of not beginning the quest of your goals, today?

Do you know what you’re waiting for before moving in a more positive direction? It’s a question that everyone needs to evaluate when assessing why they’re not in a better place – at a better point in life. When you engage in activities that don’t support the goals you wish to achieve, you should ask yourself, what am I waiting for? When you find yourself veering off-track of a successful endeavor, take note of where you’re headed. And if you don’t like the distant destination that you’re headed towards, ask yourself, what am I waiting for before getting back on track.

To be more successful in life, you must be self-reliant. That means as the cliché states, you must adopt a mindset that states, “if it is to be, it’s up to me.”

Everyone becomes encumbered by life’s activities at times. And yet, everyone always spends their time doing what’s most important to them. I’ve issued that summons to individuals over time. Some have stated that they only participate in activities that advance their goals. When questioned about their engagements in activities that don’t progress their goals, they sheepishly admit that it does occur sometimes.

The point is, everything you engage in is the priority that you’ve chosen to invest your time. Because, you’re stating by the fact that you’re engaged in that activity that it’s the most important thing to you at that time – to thine self be true.

Recognize what you do as being what’s most important to you when you’re doing it. Don’t sugarcoat it! You’re only playing with your mind if you don’t acknowledge that fact. There’s no right or wrong or need to assess blame. Just realize what reality is. You can’t address a situation, good or bad unless you recognize it for what it is. Once you examine your actions in the light of reality, you’ll be in a better mental space to take corrective actions. But you’ll only do that if you really want to achieve that ‘thing’ that you say is so important to you. Once you start on the path of achievement and stick to it, you’ll feel better about yourself and the achievement of your goals … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation, timing plays a key role in when you should extend your offers and when you might obtain what you seek. Thus, you must become keenly attuned to your timing. If you hesitate in making a request, a demand, a concession (yes, they are different), you should question yourself as to what you’re waiting for. If you wait too long, you’ll miss your opportunity to acquire more. If you pursue too soon, you could meet the same fate or worse, lose what you’ve acquired.

It’s stated that timing is everything. That’s especially true when negotiating. Thus, always be mindful of how you utilize your time. And note the waiting period that you engage in as to why you wait sometimes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Be a Better Negotiator: Control Your Risky Positioning

“Taking risks can be risky if you don’t control the risks you take.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Positioning in a #negotiation impacts a #negotiator’s ability to #negotiate before the negotiation begins. Because the way you position yourself determines how the other negotiator will perceive you. And it’ll regulate your interactions. Thus, to be a better negotiator, you must #control any risky #positioning that might impact a negotiation.

Everyone considers what they might encounter before they engage in an activity – that’s especially true in negotiations. And it’s better you shape their perception before they do. Doing so delivers the image you wish them to have of you compared to the haphazard perspective they might create.

The following are examples to control your positioning before a negotiation occurs.

Hanging with Influencers:

You’re perceived as an influencer when you surround yourself with those that influence others – that allows you to become better positioned. To advantage your position, consider becoming seen with the influencers that’ll have the greatest impact on those that you wish to influence. That will improve your positioning based on how others perceive you.

Controlling Your Message:

People will attempt to control your message. And they may hijack its intent to serve a purpose that’s better aligned with their goals, not yours. To oppose their efforts …

  • Control others that attempt to control your message. Don’t let them brand you or your message if it doesn’t support your positioning – confront them when they oppose you.
  • Beware of ear-jackers – Ear-jackers are people that will eavesdrop on your conversations when they’re in your environment. Most likely, they’ll appear to be engaged in other activities. They may be seeking salacious information that they can twist to demean you or enhance their positioning (e.g. I heard him say ‘XYZ’. I knew there was another side to him that he doesn’t want the public to see.)
  • Observe what happens in slow motion. Because we’re bombarded with activities, sometimes we miss what’s before us – most occurrences happen over an extended period-of-time. Take note of the changes that occur around you daily. It’s the short-term changes that could become long-term detriments to your positioning that you should be aware of.
  • Be innovative – When you’re seen as an innovator, you’re viewed as someone that’s leading others to their future. If they perceive that as a benefit, they’ll follow you more readily. And when you’re at the negotiation table, they’ll be more willing to accept your offerings.
  • Control the flow of your messages. Always consider the impact one message will have on another when you send it into the realm of public opinion. If you initiate messages that are less important too frequently, messages that might have a greater impact on your positioning will be less potent – and the more important messages may miss your intended audience altogether.

Use Appropriate Words:

Words control emotions. And emotions control perceptions. To control your positioning better, control the words that control your message. As an example, depending on the situation, it may be beneficial to use the word squabble versus fight (e.g. we had a squabble) – that’s less impactful than, we had a fight. The exchange of those two words alters the perception of the situation.

Perception is Reality:

When it comes to controlling your positioning, perception is reality. Your integrity intentions can be in alignment with your actions and if someone taints it with their ill-will, you could become seen as someone with less integrity. That’ll impact the way the other negotiator interacts with you. That could be to the detriment of both of you and the negotiation.

Being a better negotiator starts first with how you’re positioned. It shapes the way you’re perceived at the negotiation table. It determines how the other negotiator will strategize to negotiate against you. And it will have an impact on how effective your negotiation efforts will be. To negotiate better, always pay careful attention to your messages and how they position you. Because, the better you position yourself per how you wish to be perceived, the easier the negotiation will be … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How to Stop a Thief From Taking Your Life

“Life’s most important factor is time. Thus, the way you use your time determines the life you’ll live.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Time is your most precious commodity. Once it’s gone, your life ends. Thus, your time is your life. What you do with it determines what your life will be.

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, every day a thief takes a little bit of your life away from you. Depending upon your complicity in his act, he takes a little or a lot. But he does so every day! Over time, his efforts add up to a staggering loss of your time, viability, and opportunities. Do you know who the thief is? Do you know how to stop him from taking your life? Are you even aware of what he’s doing to you?

For some, it may come as a surprise – for others, it won’t – the thief is you! You’re the one that’s allowing yourself to run awry with your time and your life – thus you can arrest those efforts that aren’t serving you. To do that, become more mindful of how you use your time.

How Your Time is Taken:

There’s a cost to allowing your time to become taken. Do you know what that cost is? Consider calculating the cost of your time in dollars. That should make the squandering of it more meaningful to you.

Every day you’re bombarded by distractive sources that cry out for your attention. They may show up in the form of a friend calling when you’re engaged in more productive activities. They may occur as something in the background that captures your attention that diverts your actions to something less productive. If you’re okay with having your attention diverted, that’s okay. Everyone needs diversions sometimes to re-energize themselves.

The point is, pay attention to anything that proves to be a distraction from endeavors that are more important. They’re your time stealers. And they’re the impediments that will prevent you from reaching higher heights. By the fact that you’re controlling the distractions that detour you from more important tasks should alert you to the need to exercise greater control over such occurrences.

How to Stop Your Time From Being Taken:

Everyone encounters time stealers. Some allow them to occur due to a needed diversion from what may be mundane – they may be seeking something that’s more exciting. Others may do so because they’re fatigued and don’t possess the mental energy required to maintain focus. No matter the reason that your halted, note it. There’s valuable feedback information contained in that reason. You can gain greater insight into yourself and what serves as your motivators.

When you catch yourself diverted from more viable tasks, one way to prevent yourself from losing valuable time is to say aloud, “stop thief”. Doing that will allow your conscious and subconscious mind to become more attuned to how and when you allow yourself to get off track. And you’ll become more aware of how to combat such time thefts.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Time is the one precious commodity that every negotiator has. Thus, to that degree, all negotiators start off evenly. Even if you’re pressured by time constraints, initially if the other negotiator is unaware of those constraints, you and she are on the same time paradigm. Therefore, the way you utilize your time through the offers you make determines the flow of the negotiation and the degree that it’s beneficial to you.

You can make up for the time that might become lost by anticipating the unexpected and planning for it. Then, should it occur, you’ll be prepared to address those situations without losing time. That’s one way to stop time thefts from preventing you from reaching your goals, which will assist you in achieving greater negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams

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