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Category: Growth

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Entrepreneurship Management Personal Development Women In Business

Are You an Irreplaceable CEO?

 

ARE YOU AN IRREPLACEABLE CEO?

There are tons of articles out there that talk about what makes a great leader. I read one today that hit me where I live because of one word: Story.

The CEO featured in the article is a renowned, beloved leader in his company for many reasons — his integrity, his approachability, his transparency, his work ethic, etc. But what stood out to me was his being described as a “masterful storyteller”.

High Five! Fist Bump!! Yes!!! A CEO who not only understands the power of story, but finds a way to engage his employees so that they get it, too. Each time he addresses a room, he insists that a different employee introduce him every time. And forget about reading a boring bio — the employee has to come up with a story about the big boss. As the article says, “it’s part of the lesson.”

When I work with CEOs on presentation skills, media training or a video project, story is always at the heart of our work.

Why? Because story is the best way to connect one human being to another. At the end of the day, business is about finding a way to connect with a current or potential client so that they’ll do what you want them to do — buy your product or service. But far too often, we focus more on what we do than on who we are and what drives our passion. We focus more on the message than the story, not realizing that the best way to get our message across is to share our story. And the more personal, the better.

Now, I’m not advocating that you cross the line of good taste, but I am advocating that you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to share some part of yourself. That’s what will make an impression. That’s what will break through the clutter. That’s what people will remember. And that’s why the author of the article I’m referencing calls GE Chairman and CEO, Jeff Immelt, “irreplaceable.”

“He’s a model of vulnerability, self-study and reflection,” she writes, “a masterful storyteller who articulates his success and failures with equal parts humor and passion.”

When you’re ready to retire, what will your employees write about you? What will be your legacy? It starts with your story.

About the Author: Linda Lorelle is best known as an Emmy and Gracie Award- winning journalist who anchored the evening news for nearly 17 years at Houston’s NBC affiliate, KPRC- TV. The Stanford graduate is now an entrepreneur, using the art of storytelling to create compelling, original video content for clients who understand the value of owning their story. C-Suite executives who want to brush up on their presentation skills also call upon Linda to share her expertise in public speaking and help them feel more at ease.

 

Linda is a highly skilled emcee and panel moderator who is able to seamlessly guide a conversation around any subject matter. She also enjoys engaging with audiences on a variety of topics as a keynote speaker, including her most recent theme: “Don’t Ever Underestimate the Heart of a Champion: A Journalist’s Journey of Loss and Transformation”.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Management Women In Business

Thin Without Dieting

Check out the video here.

What’s the most frustrating thing you think about when you look at your body and say to yourself, “I need to lose 20 pounds?”

Is it?:

  • How am I possibly going to do this? I’ve tried so many times.
  • Dieting has never worked for me.
  • Even if I lose 20 pounds, how am I going to keep them off?
  • I just like to eat. Now what?

The bottom line is that diets don’t work. The recidivism rate on people who were on a diet is over 95%.  You resent having to deprive yourself, so why do it?

In today’s video Esateys gives six simple rules of how to lose weight and keep it off without dieting. 

Change your life style and your eating habits and you will change your waistline. Guaranteed!!  

And when you lose weight and keep it off  you will feel so much better about yourself and that will make you more productive and successful in your business and in every area of your life.

More on Esateys. www.esateys.com

Categories
Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Motivate Your Team

Have you ever felt that if you could just motivate your team everything would be better? Why aren’t they motivated? Why don’t they want to do what needs to be done?

One of the reasons your team might not be as motivated as you would like is because people are not completely motivated by external factors, or at least they are not motivated by them for very long. A leader can inspire someone to action, but true, long-lasting motivation can only come from within the individual.

Think about something you have done that did not come from you, but had external forces behind it. Maybe it was where you went to school, what you majored in, a project at work, chores around the house, exercise, etc.

Now don’t get me wrong there are lots of projects and chores that come from external sources, but what I’m talking about for these has to do with being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I bet you can come up with several situations where you excelled at tasks that you were given control over doing a way that felt good for you and other situations where you dreaded what you had to do because the motivation was not from within. When you get to create the path you are going to take it is much more motivating than when someone else tries to create it for you.

Since long lasting motivation must come from within you probably want to know how to create motivation in others, like your team or your employees. The following are three ways you can tap into key motivators to create engagement, which is one of the pieces of a high performance team.

 

First – Alignment

You want to align people with the work they do in a way that allows them to contribute who they are to a task. That means if someone loves creating systems and complex problems don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work and if someone else loves working in a group and brainstorming don’t put them at a desk where they have to work for hours alone with no input from others.

These of course are simplified examples, but the point I’m getting at is that when people are able to contribute in a way that lights them up there is little they won’t do to contribute. They will work with more focus, more dedication, more consistency, and they will go above and beyond.

 

Second – The Big Picture

People want to know how they fit into the big picture. How does their work help the organizations goals? What is it that they do that helps the corporate mission? People are truly motivated by purpose and in many cases more motivated by purpose than money. But they have to know the purpose and they have to also believe in it. This is especially true if you want to tap into the powerful energy that Millennials will bring to your workforce.

 

Third – Continued Growth

Once you have people in the right role who understand and believe in the team’s purpose, you must encourage their development. Learning new things that interest them and continued growth motivates people. They want to know they have opportunities within the team or organization to move up and grow. I don’t know very many people who say, “I’m good where I am, and I don’t want to do anything more, learn anything new, or make more money.” While the initial driver may or may not be long-term financial growth, people want to know they have somewhere to go with you or they will go somewhere else.

Take some time to reflect on what motivates you and start to look at what motivates those around you. Remember, just because something motivates you does not mean it will do the same for the rest of your team. If you want to learn more about the tools I use to help individuals and teams clarify their direction and understand who they are better visit www.c-suiteresults.com and check out the Core Value Index.

One of your jobs as a leader is to inspire those around you so that they are motivated to contribute fully, which will result in improved engagement, higher employee retention, and better overall results for them and of course for you. See how you can use these tips to amplify their motivation and help create better results for everyone on your team.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Build True Friendships in the Business World

Heshie Segal is my friend. I don’t mean that as a disclaimer, but as a prime example of what you’re about to learn from her.

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar famously estimated that humans can maintain a social circle of no more than 150 people, with no more than five people in our “closest layer” of friends.

For entrepreneurs who depend on networks of relationships, that might seem a bit discouraging, if not downright depressing. Take heart. The way it is doesn’t have to be the way it stays. Just ask Segal, whose passion for building truly meaningful friendships was born in a period of crushing loneliness.

Segal, a speaker, business leader, and self-described “children’s champion,” once sat alone in a wheelchair and contemplated the stark reality of her life: An intense focus on financial success had left her with thousands of acquaintances, but woefully short of real friends.

“Other than the person I was dating and my daughter,” she said, “I had no one to buy food for me, no one to take me to the doctor.”

At 52 years old, she had gone into the hospital on Sept. 12, 1996 for what she thought was routine foot surgery. She ended up in a wheelchair for more than 10 months, which gave her plenty of time to contemplate why nobody was calling to offer help.

“Well, it was my fault,” she said, “because I had been there for other people but only on my terms. Now I was suffering.”

Fast forward to today. Segal has “several hundred” people she considers “real friends” – people she could call at any time if she needed help and thousands more who are something more than mere acquaintances. Of her 5,000 personal friends on Facebook (the max allowed), she knows roughly 4,500 well enough to call them up and visit. And more than 700,000 people follow her inspirational news site, So Share This, on its Facebook page.

So, let’s be clear about this: she went from zero friends to hundreds of friends and hundreds of thousands of people in her network in just 10 years.

When we talked about how other entrepreneurs can blow Dunbar’s estimates out of the water, I realized there are at least four key questions we can work through to build the type of meaningful networks Segal has developed.

  1. HOW CAN I BE ME WITH YOU?

Segal’s number one rule is to “be yourself.” If you model authenticity and vulnerability, others will open up with you. It gives them permission to tell you when something is wrong and to ask for help. And when you willingly tell people about your life, it gives them an opportunity to offer their help.

  1. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Many entrepreneurs begin with a mindset that says, “How can you help me? A few ask, “How can we help each other?” Segal focuses on how she can help others. Once the relationship develops, she’s not afraid to ask for something if she needs it. But that’s not on her agenda in the beginning. Even when an introduction is made based on the belief that two people can contribute to each other, her focus is still on getting to know the other person and helping them, regardless of any reciprocity.

  1. WHAT RESONATES?

One reason Segal develops so many deep relationships is because so many of her relationships are built on the “who” not the “what.” In other words, it’s about building relationship based on “who you are,” not “what you do.” As she put it, “It’s not just that I want to help you – I want to resonate with you.”

To make these relationships happen, she regularly goes to conferences with a proactive agenda of deepening her relationship with one or two specific people. She seeks them out and tells them something like, “I don’t know if we will ever work together or not, but you are the person at this event that I want to know better.”

“If your heart is out there leading you,” she said, “then there is something synergistic that will come back to you. You’re not leading from, ‘Oh, I can get something from them.’ You’re leading with, ‘This could be a beautiful relationship.’”

  1. WHAT ARE OUR SHARED INTERESTS?

Some of Segal’s closest friendships are built around common interests – a love for going on safari, for collecting art, for helping serve the needs of children. Common interests open the doors to building a lasting rapport that leads to additional steps in a relationship.

What’s interesting is that she doesn’t just look for those shared interests among people who are just like her – she seeks them in people who are very different in age, ethnicity, nationality, culture, backgrounds, and experiences.

This approach, which she calls “jetnetting,” has helped her build a network that is deep, broad, authentic, and extremely diverse. All of that diversity and all of those friends help her grow, personally and professionally. And if she’s ever in need, this much she knows:

She’s got a friend in me.

Categories
Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

The Hokey Pokey for CEOS

Remember the days when we played games with abandon?

Put your right hand in, put your right hand out, put your right hand in, and you shake it all about…

No fear of looking or sounding silly, just unabashed joy at fully engaging in whatever was at hand.

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about!

That is what it’s all about — putting at least some part of yourself in the arena —

Put your left hand in, put your left hand out, etc…

But somewhere along the way we forget to play the game the way it’s meant to be played. In many cases, we just flat out become afraid of being our true, complete selves. That annoying little voice in our heads keeps asking “what will they think if they know this about me?”

Here’s a better question to ask ourselves: “What if I were to bring all of who I am to every situation?”

Put your whole self in, put your whole self out…Put your whole self in, and you shake it all about…

What would that mean to my business success?

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about!

For Carla Harris, Vice Chairman, Wealth Management at Morgan Stanley, it’s all about being her authentic self, and winning new business along the way. I recently heard Harris speak at a conference in Houston and a story she told stuck with me.

She was competing for a huge piece of business with other Wall Street firms. Of course, there was a formal presentation, but it was an informal encounter with a key player that made the difference.

You see, Carla is not just a powerhouse in her industry; she is also an author, a speaker, a leader, a mother and one helluva gospel singer! I mean, really — if you’ve performed at Carnegie Hall not once, but FIVE times, why on earth would you keep that to yourself?! It’s not like Carla was planning to burst into song, but when a right moment presented itself during that informal conversation, she did, with complete joy and abandon. That one, impromptu act struck a chord with the right person — and Carla walked away with the business.

I walked away from that conference determined to do two things: 1) be ALL of who I am in every situation, regardless of that annoying little voice in my head urging me not to start salsa dancing at the drop of a hat; and 2) help my clients in the C-Suite understand the value of being their authentic selves and sharing their stories when presenting to an audience, no matter how much they might resist.

It’s really okay. Be your total, complete self. Nobody can do you, like you. And when you start to feel a little self conscious, just flash back to how good it felt to put your whole self in and shake it all about. Go ahead — do the Hokey Pokey, CEO style, and show us all what you’re about.

If you would like more information or to schedule Linda as a keynote speaker, please email info@lorellemedia.com or call 713-247-9600.

 

About the Author: Linda Lorelle is best known as an Emmy and Gracie Award- winning journalist who anchored the evening news for nearly 17 years at Houston’s NBC affiliate, KPRC-TV. The Stanford graduate is now an entrepreneur, using the art of storytelling to create compelling, original video content for clients who understand the value of owning their story. C-Suite executives who want to brush up on their presentation skills also call upon Linda to share her expertise in public speaking and help them feel more at ease.

Linda is a highly skilled emcee and panel moderator who is able to seamlessly guide a conversation around any subject matter. She also enjoys engaging with audiences on a variety of topics as a keynote speaker. The next time Linda delivers her speech, “Don’t Ever Underestimate the Heart of a Champion: A Journalist’s Journey of Loss and Transformation”, don’t be surprised if she pulls a “Carla Harris” and breaks out into a ballroom dance!

Categories
Marketing Operations Personal Development

Six Strategies to Set Your Business Apart

It takes customer service and more for a small company to compete in today’s world of big box stores, and the same business strategies that will set a small company apart are valuable tools for a company of any size.

It is a business situation that has been repeated in towns across the country – a “big box” store comes to town and the local businesses get nervous. How can they compete with the larger inventory and lower prices of a store like Costco or Home Depot? The big stores seem to have more tools at their disposal – buying power, national advertising, etc. Local business owners can list a myriad of concerns, and while there is some truth to their fears, it is really just making excuses. There are ways small business owners can keep their customers – even attract new ones – and flourish, when a larger competitor moves into town.

The reality is that any business must consciously implement effective strategies to address competition from any new business that moves into the same market. This is true for any type of business or industry, no matter whether the established business or the newcomer is small, large, a deep discounter, whatever … the strategies are the same. And some don’t cost a thing.

Here are some low- and no-cost ideas that can help you compete:

  • Make it about more than the merchandise. You sell the same product or service as your competitor, and the competitor happens to be a “big box” store with the buying power to offer a lower price. Is it still possible to keep the customers coming through your doors? Yes! This is where customer service becomes the strategy of choice. Offering a better customer experience adds value to the product and can set you apart from the competition and free you from the commodity trap.

 

  • Or, do make it about the merchandise – the merchandise that the competitor doesn’t have. One small hardware store that happens to be just down the street from a Home Depot has found a way to flourish. They figured out what Home Depot doesn’t sell and then made sure to offer those items. Now Home Depot even sends customers their way for the products that have been so thoughtfully and purposefully stocked.

 

  • Know your strengths – and let customers know, too. Hopefully, you are known for offering good customer service, but what else sets your business apart? Why should someone do business with you instead of the competition? Figure out your advantages and then let others know.

 

  • Make it about more than the business. Lend your name to other causes in the community, be it the local, national or even international community. The company’s market will define the scope of your “community.” For many small businesses, this means taking an active role in the local community by being visible – sponsor a sports team, let a local charity hold a bake sale outside your store on a Saturday, etc. Show the community that you care.

 

  • Let your loyal customers lend a hand. Keep in touch with your customer base through a variety of ways – social media, mail, and so on – and build an army of evangelists. Engaging with them will encourage them to promote your business.

 

  • Consider a formal loyalty program. Airlines, hotels, restaurants and more use loyalty programs to offer incentives for continued business. Would such a program work in your business?

 

Whether you choose to institute any or all of the strategies mentioned here – or dozens of other options – there is one ever-present way to compete in any market. Simply stated, just deliver amazing customer service that makes the customer feel so special that he/she wouldn’t consider doing business with anyone else.

 

Shep Hyken is a customer experience expert and the Chief Amazement Officer of Shepard Presentations. He is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author and has been inducted into the National Speakers Association Hall of Fame for lifetime achievement in the speaking profession. Shep works with companies and organizations who want to build loyal relationships with their customers and employees. For more articles on customer service and business go to http://www.hyken.com.

Copyright © MMXIV Shep Hyken – Used with permission.

Categories
Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

She-Conomy: A Power to be Reckoned With

 

Women executives may have a slight upper hand when it comes to marketing. Did you know that women make 85% of all brand purchases, and 70 to 80% of all consumer purchases as a whole? Unless you are marketing a product or service that is specifically geared towards men, you should always market towards the female consumer. Most women make purchasing decisions for themselves, as well as their families.

 

In 2012, studies showed that women were responsible for $7 trillion dollars of all business and consumer purchases. However, a whopping 91% of these women said that they felt advertisers didn’t truly understand them as women. This is why women executives may have an easier time understanding how to market to the female demographic. If you’re marketing to a demographic that is mostly female, having a considerable amount of women in leadership positions throughout your company will boost your success rate as well.

 

Studies have also shown that women will earn more money than men by 2028, and most family purchases aren’t finalized until they are okayed by the woman of the house. In fact, 75% of women consider themselves to be in charge of all household spending. Both women executives and male executives need to familiarize themselves with certain statistics so that your business and your brand can grow to be unstoppable together. For instance, did you know that almost 37% of all women would rather purchase a product that is environmentally friendly, while 50% wish they had more environmentally friendly purchasing choices. That’s something that can truly help market your sales to female consumers.

 

In 2012, 55% of female mother consumers said that if a certain brand or product is recommended in a review blog, they will buy it. Since 2012 the number of moms taking to blogging and social media has, of course, increased. So blogging is definitely something that will help boost and promote the sales of your brand and/or product. Most women truly value good customer service, so make sure you have an outstanding customer service team, as well as policies that cater to the consumer. If you take consumer opinion into consideration and offer great customer service, your brand and your demographic will be unstoppable together.

 

Although brands like Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Nike, and Prada are popular among people that have a very padded bank account, the average women’s list of top brands looks more like this:

 

Walmart Target
Verizon EBay
AT&T Ford
Amazon.com Pepsi
McDonalds Sprint

 

When you are in a position of leadership and you are marketing your brand to women, you also have to take the average financial situation of your consumers into consideration. This is something executive women have to keep in mind. If you’re trying to market to the “soccer mom” type, an ad that is reminiscent of a Louis Vuitton advertisement isn’t going to make them feel like you understand them.

 

For example; as a woman I’ve always looked at a certain cleaning product commercial, and thought, “Oh please! Who cleans in heels?!” I was immediately turned off by that brand because I felt they didn’t really know what they were talking about. So how could I trust their product?

 

The recent presidential election in the U.S. has sparked a lot of controversy between female consumers and certain brands. Ivanka Trump is now the first daughter and she has always been a successful designer. Recently, certain stores have been refusing to sell her brand because of her father’s presidency, while others are being boycotted because they openly chose to continue carrying her line in their stores. Women have every right to refuse purchases based on a political standpoint, but how does that affect business for women in leadership?

 

If you have been thinking that making your political stance known to your consumers is a good idea as a woman in leadership, my honest opinion would be to keep business and politics separate. The problem here is no matter how you look at it you’re going to lose a percentage of your customers. Some of these brands and companies may be trying to send a different message, but the truth is the message is already clear.

 

When Macy’s boycotted Ivanka Trumps clothing line, their democratic customers were proud and overjoyed. However, they also lost a lot of customers that support the president. In fact, women all over the U.S. were canceling their Macy cards live on social media. So, the best thing to do in a leadership position is to keep politics completely out of your marketing approach. Besides, women executives should be thinking of ways that we can Be Unstoppable Together, not apart.

 

Be Unstoppable Together

 

Connie Pheiff, Unstoppable DIVA

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? Want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Quickly Increase your Performance

You have likely lost sleep at some point in your career trying to figure out what you could do to increase your performance at work or the performance of your team. If you are a leader with high ambition and big goals, it makes sense that you have given this a lot of thought.

I want to talk about one key skill that you can apply immediately to increase your own performance or help your team apply it for maximum results. You don’t need to buy anything, log onto anything, or spend time reading technical manuals. All you need to do is listen.

That’s right I’m talking about improving your listening skill as a way to increase your performance.

Ineffective listening is the cause of many breakdowns between co-workers, teams, and companies as well as the cause of many accidents. With ineffective listening instructions get missed, production decreases, sales and customers are lost, and personality clashes create poor morale.

When you are in a conversation are you more focused on talking or listening? We often forget that there are two parts of communicating, one is talking and the other is listening and in all actuality listening is the more important of the two components.

Poor listening habits can often be attributed to a lack of training and like any skill, listening can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

When you communicate through focused listening you build better relationships that will help take you personally and professionally to the next level of your success. When you want to make an important sale you have to know your client or customer, what their problems are and then communicate how you can solve their problem. Without listening you are going to miss out on the key facts you need to build that relationship and make the sale. Your client does not want to hear you talk about you and how great you are, they want you to listen to them and tell them how you can fix their problems.

The same is true for listening to your co-workers and team members; you have to know who they are in order to help motivate them to work the long hours on the priority project or to go above and beyond for the client. When you listen to those you work with you understand what drives them and that allows you to create stronger teams and more loyal employees. You know that turnover is very costly and this is one aspect of retaining employees, letting them know you are listening and that you care about them through your actions, which start with listening.

When your intent in communicating is all about what you are going to say next, you are not truly listening. I know you are conscious of how rude it is to interrupt another person while having a conversation and if you are thinking to yourself during the same conversation “what am I going to say next,” you are in effect doing the same thing. You did interrupt them because you were not listening, so what they just said may as well not been said since you didn’t hear it.

This makes listening the key step to a good conversation and even more importantly a tough conversation. You want to listen to understand, listen to gather information, and listen with no interruption (audibly or in your head.)

Once you have listened and heard what the other person is telling you, then you have the opportunity to talk. But your turn to talk means clarifying what they have said, making sure they know you heard them, and confirming what they want and need.

The goal of most communication should be to have the other person do more of the talking while you guide the conversation with open-ended questions that are meant to be clarifying and compassionate. When you have clarified everything you can then ask them “do you mind if I share with you my thoughts on this situation?” Most likely they are ready to hear your thoughts because you took the time to listen and they felt heard. At this point they really do want to know what you think.

You can also let them feel heard by saying “I hear that this is stressful for you and that makes sense based on what you told me…..” Get their confirmation that you hard them correctly and ask if you can share some ideas that might help. They are ready to hear what you have to share because they appreciate the time you took to really hear them even if what you have to share is not good news.

The other thing to remember is that what you say is important, but how you say it is just as important if not more important. People will remember how you made them feel long after they have forgotten what you actually said. If you can remain calm and compassionate they are going to feel it and appreciate you.

Next time someone comes to you with a problem or an idea make sure you are ready to fully listen and if it’s not a time where you can give them your undivided attention tell them that. Say “now is not a good time for me to be fully present, can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” Let them know what they have to say is important and you want to be sure you are fully present to hear them. Remember people want to be heard and they will appreciate this, which goes a long way with clients and employees.

Not only will this help improve your performance as you start to hear more ideas around you, it will create bonds with those who need and want your services.

 

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Women In Business

Dads: Raise Your Daughters to be CEOS

Father’s Day is coming up, so in the spirit of honoring the male role models in our lives, I’d like to share a special note with all the dads and other men (and women) out there about how to raise your daughters to be a successful, confident and happy future executive.

Over the years, I’ve spoken in front of myriad professional women’s groups, and coached women at every level and in every industry imaginable, and one factor regularly surfaces as having a major influence on their current levels of confidence and self-efficacy: their relationship with their fathers.

I often get asked how I’ve developed my confidence and sense of self, and more and more I realize how much of the credit goes to my father (and mother) for setting this foundation in me in all these ways and more.

Dad (a music teacher) encouraged me to audition for all-state band (I played the alto sax), which I did all four years of high school, even though I only made it once. After each audition, we’d talk about what went right and wrong and how to do better next time.

He pushed me to take honors classes but didn’t flinch when I agreed to take AP history and Spanish but not calculus (thank goodness!)

(I’ll probably get flack for this, but I’m going to mention it anyway.) He also always told me I was pretty, even when my ever-fluctuating adolescent weight was on the top end of the yo-yo curve. To a teenage girl’s self-esteem, it mattered. A lot.

When I decided to go for my PhD instead of getting a “regular job” he asked probing questions so we could discuss the pros and cons and the best way to make it work.

And he never once gave me a guilt trip about my biological clock or his (undeniable) desire for grandchildren even though I was 40 before I finally met my husband.

He let me know that he recognized my efforts and intentions, trusted my judgment and respected my decision, even when we didn’t see eye to eye.

Most importantly, even when I had genuinely messed up, even though he was really upset with me in the moment, he never belittled me or called me names, and he made it clear that he still loved me.

So for all you parents, here are four strategies for how to communicate with your daughters in a way that builds her confidence and empowers her with the skills and perspective to be a successful leader:

  • Talk to your daughter. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations, and ask tough and sometimes personal questions to help her think through things, then be prepared to listen. Listen to truly understand her motivations rather than to identify the holes in her argument and formulate your rebuttal.
  • Challenge her to try new things, and set ambitious but attainable goals. Celebrate victories, acknowledge and praise progress and efforts. Recognize the difference between when to say, “it’s okay, you can’t win ‘em all” and “I don’t think you really gave it your best. What happened?”
  • Invite her to initiate difficult conversations with you instead of hiding her true feelings.
  • Even when she does make a mistake or otherwise does something you don’t approve of, make it clear that the you think the decision or action was dumb, not that she is stupid. Then – possibly an hour or so later after you’ve cooled off – remind her that you love her and are proud of her no matter what.

If you can fine-tune your objectivity regarding this aspect of your relationship with your daughters now – no matter what their age or family or professional status – that sets a foundation for success that no fancy MBA can match!

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

Beware the Shifty Shades of Gray

Author Dan Veitkus

The important distinction between embellishment and intellectual honesty – a domain where relevant facts and information are not omitted, nor are they presented with an intention to mislead – has resurfaced in the public consciousness. Always relevant, this distinction should serve as a reminder to all leaders that trustworthy communication is dependent on accurate facts.

Disciples of servant leadership share a common allergic reaction to the “gray zone”, with preference towards trustworthy and consistent communication. Stephen M.R. Covey promotes the “trust tax” appellation to accurately describe the withdrawal made against our credibility and our productivity when we fail to speak, act and operate truthfully and ethically. The gray area that may surface for debate in business, politics or science should not be confused with the essential requirement to be intellectually honest in our communications.

 Consider the implications of a study by Mercer Management Consulting that revealed 60 percent of employees surveyed did not trust that management was communicating with them honestly.

 What does this say about the environment we live and work in? Can we really expect to make progress on business priorities such as growth, employee engagement, customer retention and breakthrough innovation when leadership fails the fundamental premise of trust? When a leader ventures into the gray zone, their credibility and trust with constituents will only decline. And the option for recovery? Not guaranteed.

Consistent intellectual honesty is essential to establish credibility as a leader. Why is this consistency such a critical requirement for leaders? For starters, auditors look for it. Shareholders demand it. Athletes practice it. Consistency is an essential part of the formula for sustainable success. Consistency guides organizations when they set policies and guidelines. Consistency allows leaders to manage difficult situations fairly and effectively. And the practice of consistent communication creates an environment of trust among colleagues and stakeholders – even when they have good reason to disagree – that is essential in order to deliver sustainable results.

Successful leaders know that repeatable success on the field of play, in the boardroom or at home depends on consistent execution of the fundamentals. They also embrace this truth: The credibility of their leadership demands intellectual honesty.

“Trust is equal parts character and competence,” asserts Stephen M.R. Covey. “You can look at any leadership failure and it’s always a failure of one or the other.”

Let’s look at three straightforward commitments that can effectively guide every leader to stay the course and avoid the Shifty Shades of Gray:

  • Get comfortable with the expression “I don’t know.” There are times when genuine vulnerability is appropriate and, “I don’t know” may be the best and most truthful answer.
  • Slow down our jaws and our thumbs. When we take time to think about our comments and commitments – even a moment or two before expressing them – we often save ourselves from the temptation to exaggerate, embellish or re-write history to suit our personal agenda.
  • Take an inventory of the trust taxes and trust dividends you are generating each day and avoid the trap of excusing yourself for playing in the gray zone. Too many folks find themselves justifying the drift into gray to avoid conflict, to advance an agenda or to shape a narrative, which may be detached from reality. The sooner you pull back the better. The gray zone can lead to the dark side, the place completely void of all trust.

And when trust is broken, the game is over — even if you don’t realize it.

The commitment to practice the discipline of intellectual honesty will require effort and practice. But the effort invested will be far less than the tax extracted by your superior, your partner, your friends and even your hitherto adoring followers and constituents if you choose to operate in the gray zone.