“The right question, asked at the right time, can be the gateway to greater knowledge. But the wrong question, no matter when asked, will never garner the insight you otherwise may have received. Ask better questions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“This Is How To Ask The Best Questions In A Negotiation“
People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.
“But that’s not what you asked me.” “Yeah – but you knew what I meant, didn’t you?” That exchange occurs between people daily. One person makes a statement or asks a question, and the other person answers based on what he inferred or what he believed the intent was. Being mentally aware of this fact is the first step to asking the best questions, whether those questions occur in your negotiation or other realms of your life. Continue, and you’ll discover additional ways to ask better questions.
“A man defeated may speak loudly, but when he’s a known liar appearing crazed, eventually, his words will ring hollow.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“This Is How To Challenge Crazed Liars In A Negotiation”
People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.
She asked her friend in exasperation – “What’s wrong with him? He’s acting like a crazed liar.” The friend said – “Are you surprised? You’ve always known him to be a liar that lies all the time. He’s in denial because he doesn’t like the outcome of the negotiation. He keeps running with denial, and it appears to be outpacing him.”
Have you had challenges with crazed liars in your negotiations – negotiators divorced from truth’s reality? How do you deal with power-grabbing liars when you’re at the negotiation table? Depending on your situation’s severity, you most likely attempt multiple ways to deal with such individuals. The following are a few thoughts to consider for your future engagements.
With all the talk of diversity and inclusion in the workplace, here’s something to think about. The number of women running Fortune 500 companies in 2020 is at an all-time high.
That number is 37! If you’re more of a percentage-type person, that’s a little over 7% percent. Those are paltry numbers if you asked me.
If you’re looking for women in the top five c-suite jobs, the numbers are slightly better. Women hold a quarter of the leadership roles in our nation’s largest corporations, according to a Korn Ferry survey.
While the upward trend is encouraging, there are also sobering news for women in the workplace.
More than 860,000 women dropped outof the workforce in September 2020 alone.
Do you hear that?
It’s the sound of an Olympic-sized talent pool draining. The next leader in your company, at any level, might be out of the workforce right now, and we’re all hurting because of it.
Why is this happening?
For answers, I went to an expert.
Kathleen Caldwell is not only the CEO of Caldwell Consulting Group. She leads the C-Suite Network’s Women’s Leadership Council, a group dedicated to helping women “get in, stay in, and thrive in the c-suite.”
I had the pleasure of interviewing Kathleen during a recent episode of my podcast, All Business with Jeffrey Hayzlett. We jumped right into why women are dropping out of the economy.
“It’s alarming,” Kathleen exclaimed. “COVID certainly has had a lot to do with it, with women boxed in between health care for themselves and childcare for their children. They’re in the sandwich generation trying to do it all, and they’re opting out.”
She adds, “Women are making choices, and they’re opting out of the career track to get them into the c-suite. Many of them are choosing alternative careers, starting their own businesses, opting for companies that perhaps have some more flexibility for them.”
That led me to a follow-up question — is this mass exodus all COVID-19 related or is there something else at play? Kathleen says that while the pandemic is playing a key role in the migration of women out of the workforce, there are some underlying trends we may not be seeing.
“The bigger trend is (women) are leaving the workforce that are in their 50s and 60s,” Kathleen said. “We’ve got this generation of women that are saying ‘Hey, you know, I’ve had enough of this. I want to start working on my own dream. My own business. My own career.’”
“It’s women in their 20s with young children. It’s women in their 30s and 40s when they’re starting to get traction in their careers and then, of course, 40s, 50s, 60s when they’re saying maybe I want to do something different.”
Kathleen says attracting and retaining women at all professional levels is something managers and workers should start working towards. For the sixth year in a row, women continued to lose ground at the first step up to manager, according to a McKinsey report. It also details that women remain outnumbered in entry-level management at the beginning of the year – only holding 38 percent of manager-level positions, compared to 62 percent of men.
“I think it’s the responsibility of the companies they work for, but also the women themselves (to) build up more engagement for themselves and more excitement about their careers,” Kathleen said. “Women have to be driving the conversation. Find your way in the corporation that you’re in and find what excites you. (Be) your own unique participant in your own growth plan. Don’t rely on HR to do it for you.”
All these workforce vacancies can also create headaches for HR departments. The pipeline of talented women is drying up, and that hurts everyone.
“This is not a blame game. This is more of an empowerment opportunity conversation. It’s women looking at their careers as what they want,” Kathleen said. “Do they want to be in leadership? What’s available for them to be on boards and what’s available for them in the c-suite.”
She continued, “I think it’s a marketing job within corporations and it’s women raising their hands to say ‘Hey, I want more. I’m ready for more and give me more.’”
Part of being ready to take on more responsibility is knowing yourself. Kathleen says you have to know your strengths, weaknesses, and where you add value to the organization. It’s also about building relationships with leaders inside and outside your company. One way to accomplish that is by finding sponsors and mentors. While the two terms sound similar, they are different concepts. A mentor is someone who gives more career or skills-oriented advice. A sponsor is someone who stands by you when things get tougher within a corporation once you’re in a leadership position.
How do you even begin to find a good mentor or sponsor? Kathleen has some advice.
“Think about building those relationships with people that are at higher levels in the organization and actively reaching out to that person,” Kathleen said. “(Think of) who you’d like to be in a relationship with and have that sponsorship, allyship with. (You’re) taking the initiative out there and not overthinking it.”
She added, “Asking ‘Hey, what do you know? I’m looking to do this in my career, my business. Here are some things that I need. Would you help me?’ Making the ask that someone can say yes to, or no to, or propose something different.”
Throughout my career, I’ve encountered many great leaders in the c-suite and other leadership roles that happen to be female. Leadership doesn’t have a gender and even today, I continue to champion women. One of my business partners is a great leader in her own right. We share a mission, vision, and values, while operating from completely different perspectives. I even joked that I think I’ve become nicer. While may have been said in jest, Kathleen says it’s a proven benefit from working with women.
“I think you’re demonstrating one of the great things with women leaders, the pause aspect,” Kathleen said. “One thing I’ve noticed about you is you have a tendency to maybe sit back and then let other women jump in, move in, and have their point of view. Not always (be) the first to rush in or always be right.”
This can be a difficult for most men, including myself. We want to solve the problem. It’s just a part of our personalities. I’m continually learning from the women in our company, especially Tricia Benn, Chief Community Officer of C-Suite Network, and General Manager of The Hero Club. Admittedly, she does some things much better than I do.
“That’s a perfect example of what men can learn from women in the workplace,” Kathleen said. “Taking the time to understand what are those differences? And really strengthening women’s strengths and giving us visibility in the workplace.”
“Maybe she needs a little bit of a pep talk, or maybe she needs some air cover or visibility. It doesn’t have to be rough and tumble all the time because there’s power in the things that are not said. It doesn’t always have to be aggressive.”
Kathleen gave us all a great pep talk, and I’m consider myself lucky she’s one of our most prominent leaders here in the C-Suite.
If you’d like to hear our complete conversation, click here.
Everybody loves the ice cream man. And man, I may have interviewed one of the best men in the ice cream business – definitely one of the most authentic business leaders.
Matthew McCarthy is the CEO of Ben and Jerry’s, one of the world’s most recognizable ice cream brands. One of the main things they are known for are far-out flavorslike Half-Baked, Chunky Monkey, Chubby Hubby, and Cherry Garcia (my favorite), just to name a few.
Ben and Jerry’s is also known for being a company that “picks a side” on hot button issues like racism, the environment and voting rights, even within the corporate confines of international conglomerate, Unilever. In fact, before taking the helm at Ben and Jerry’s, Matthew ran Axe, the male-centered body spray known in its early years for what some would call brash marketing.
Our interview took place during a recent C-Suite Network Digital Discussion where we talked about flavors of leadership, causes, and caring, or as Matthew called it, the “Chunks and Swirls” of business.
We started the conversation with me asking if they were afraid to ‘piss people off’ with the social causes they support. Just like the company itself, Matthew wasn’t shy with his answer.
“I get this question (a lot) ‘Aren’t you afraid of pissing people off? Aren’t you afraid of alienating half of your consumer base or half your potential customers?'” Matthew replied. He added, “In fact, what I’ve come to find is that narrative is not only less and less appropriate every day. I think it’s dangerous.”
“Listen, all humans have values. All teams and companies are in the business of serving other people,” Matthew continued. “The idea that you should not allow your employees, your partners to bring their values to work just doesn’t make any sense. I think in today’s hyper transparent world; our fans demand that we let them know where we stand all the time.”
While Ben and Jerry’s is transparent about the causes it cares about, others in corporate America seem to run away from taking a stand. Matthew thinks human behavior has something to do with it.
“A lot of it just comes down to us as people,” Matthew said. “People don’t like being criticized, right? You don’t want someone tweeting, or you want to see a headline that says ‘You Suck’ or “We Hate You.’ It’s controversy and controversy is considered bad for business. People generally steer away from it.”
“The interesting thing is, controversy’s coming your way. Whether you plan it or not. You know that (as) businesspeople. It’s coming your way. That’s coming faster than anybody has ever seen. We don’t go seeking controversy.”
While they’re not in the business of picking fights, if they find themselves in a fight, they’ll stand up for what they believe in.
“Our consumers are there really watching very closely — our partners. We’re very close to our NGO partners. They want to know where the hell we stand on different issues,” Matthew said. “So, I listen. I don’t think it’s helpful to go picking a fight or seeking to create controversy for controversy’s sake, but I don’t think that people in the business world can be a bit too thin-skinned.”
Matthew is very clear – it’s not about everyone agreeing on everything. He’s quick to point that employees at Ben and Jerry’s don’t always agree with the company’s stances. Matthew says that’s OK as long as everyone is being heard.
“I’m not aligned with my family sitting around the dinner table, so it’s a crazy idea to assume that any group of people that come together, like Ben and Jerry’s, everybody’s of the same mind,” Matthew said. “People know what we stand for. It’s not a secret. We’ve been super public about these are our stances on any number of issues. People that choose to be a part of the Ben and Jerry’s family do so knowing those things. Period.”
“The second thing I would say is it nothing destroys trust faster in your organization than people not feeling heard,” Matthew continued. “Disagreement, I welcome it. I encourage it. We’re not going to agree on everything. And anybody who has that idea that somehow, we’re all going to just be Kumbaya all the time, that’s a complete mirage. That can be damaging to itself. At the same time, which you can’t do is just shut people down people disagree with.”
Anyone who has read my books or has followed me a while knows I’m a fan of healthy tension and healthy debate within my teams. Matthew said even if there is tension, being able to express your views is essential for everyone to feel validated, even if you disagree.
“Tension is a superpower if managed well within a business,” Matthew said.
His over two decades at Unilever taught Matthew something about “brands with purpose.” He says among all the brands that now make up Unilever there are plenty of stories of founders who wanted to do things differently, like Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield.
“So many of our (Unilever’s) legacy businesses were created by founders who wanted to something in addition to making soap,” Matthew said. “Interestingly, Unilever has progressed on this mission to be a company that is anchored in sustainability and making sustainability commonplace.”
“Ben and Jerry’s just happens to be maybe a little bit more further out on some of those topics, but we’re not as far apart from some of the other businesses and brands as you might think.”
Since its founding 43 years ago, Matthew says Ben and Jerry’s works on a principle called “linked prosperity.” Simply put, it’s tying the company’s success to all the communities and industries they touch.
“That vision and link prosperity is supported by our three-part mission: to make the best products in the best way possible — an economic mission to grow profitably and make sure that we have a thriving business. Then also a social mission. How do we bring our values and do business differently and make business part of the solution? Not just doing less bad in the world,” Matthew said.
While a product like ice cream is fun, managing the brand — from manufacturing to marketing, has its challenges. Matthew said it’s his job to provide clarity and take barriers out of his team’s way when it comes to leadership.
“I grew up in a world where people were telling me what to do. I was there for learning. That’s what leadership is about,” Matthew said. “I’ve had to shed a lot of that stuff. There are times that are super clear, and there are decisions that I, as CEO, that only I can take. But there’s a lot of things I don’t need to be doing.”
“The reality is, the higher you go, the less you know. I find that’s very much true, particularly the speed of business. So, I’ve had to recalibrate.”
Recalibrating is that many businesses, including Ben and Jerry’s, had to do during the pandemic. They never shut down and their factories stayed open implementing new hygiene practices, brand assets had to be evaluated, and the company shifted priorities.
“The first order of business (during the pandemic) was giving people a sense of security, immediately coming out and telling people, ‘You’re not going to lose your job. We’re going to keep paying you.’ Just take that right off of people’s plates because everybody was completely freaking out,” Matthew recalled.
It wasn’t just at the corporate level. Ben and Jerry’s also made sure their scoop network of franchisees were taken care of as well. Keeping up with demand was another hurdle they had to overcome. Matthew added, “Manufacturing folks are the heroes in many ways.”
I could have talked to Matthew for a lot longer. He is a true, authentic leader. If you’d like to hear what else he had to say, including an insightful Q & A with our C-Suite Network leaders, listen to this episode of All Business with Jeffrey Hayzlett.
If you think the buyer perceives your price equally whether it is just a low price or a higher price with a discount – then think again.
When we are considering buying a product or a service, our subconscious mind creates a whole slew of associations. We decide if we believe the features and functions of the product or service will deliver the value we expect to receive. The brand and everything we associate with the brand influences the value and benefit we expect to receive from the product or service. So, does the lack of a brand, how the product or service is presented to us affect how good we think it will be once we purchase it? If the product or service is sold by a salesperson, how that person presents themselves and the product or service will have great influence over how we will associate value and benefit to the product or service. Some of these associations will add to the value we expect; some will detract from them. Some brands will add value; others will be totally neutral; some will detract from the value. Also, some features will add varying degrees of value; others will be neutral, some will detract from the value.
This cocktail of associations can be summarized as “perception of value,” and it happens in the blink of an eye, while the potential customer is going through the decision-making process as to whether they will purchase the product or service, or not. This also means that for most of our purchases, we do not make a true valuation of the various products or services available but we use our “perception of value” or gut feelings to aid us in making a decision. In behavioral economics, the term for this process is known as heuristics.
As soon as we see the price of the product or service, we make an immediate association between our “perception of value” and the price. It is an association that is emotional, but where the outcomes are pretty simple to come by. There are only three possible outcomes:
The price is above my “perception of value,” and therefore I will not buy the product or service.
The price is generally in line with my “perception of value,” and therefore I will buy the product or service. This is valid for a range of prices.
The price is below my “perception of value” and therefore, what I initially thought was an adequate product or service must have some perceived flaw I did not initially discover, and hence, I will not buy the product or service.
It is also important to know that different people will have differing “perceptions of value,” and the very same people will have a different perception of value across various times and circumstances. But for now, that is a topic for another article.
So, if a too low price is set, then what can occur is an expectation with the buyer that the product or service may be inferior (even though that cannot be proven at the time of them making a purchasing decision). Why does a price plus a discount work differently? That is because the buyer’s “perception of value”is then tied to the original price before the discount was put in place, and the discount just means the buyer now perceives the product or service as a bargain, it is a better deal for them.
So, to sum this up in a more formulaic manner:
Price compared with “perceptions of value” = a buy or not buy decision
Price compared with “perceptions of value” + discount = a bargain
However, it needs to be noted that the discount cannot be too large. If it is, a significant discount in itself will make the potential buyer think twice about purchasing the product or service. It might have the opposite effect to what the seller initially intended – a higher sales volume. Just as with a too low price, to begin with, an excessively large discount will generate doubt in the mind of the prospective buyer. They will think, “the vendor must be desperate to sell this, probably because nobody wants to buy it because it is not a very good quality product or service,” or ”the vendor has figured out there is something wrong with the product or service so they must offer a deep discount to sell any of them at all.”
In conclusion, most buyers are usually quite quick to decide the value they perceive with a product or service they are thinking of purchasing. They then compare that value with the price and decide to buy or not buy the product or service. Discounts, if reasonable and not too large, will drive higher sales because the buyer’s “perception of value” is anchored to the original higher price, not the discounted lower price. Thus, a discounted high price is not the same as a lower price – even if the dollar value is the same!
It is said that people do business with who they know, like and trust. Earning a place in the minds of those you hope to serve requires establishing credibility. You must remove the fear they hold onto that prevents them from taking the leap with you. To receive their business, you must first give.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
―Pablo Picasso
Today we are living in times of great concern and uncertainty. An ominous need to protect ourselves is coupled with a requirement to protect others. Scarcity rules the day and a hoarder’s mentality can seep in. It is true that giving has profound effects, and today it is as important as ever, to lead with service and have confidence that the universe will fill that space you open up by doing so. Here are some practical and simple ways to give and earn credibility so you can be known, liked and trusted:
Give your WORD
In life and business we are only as good as the commitments we make. Before your take on any project, be sure you can deliver, in its entirety. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Giving this to others allows them to trust working with you or to be in a relationship with you. Give this to yourself and you will not make promises you break. By always living by your word you will be very clear what you are willing to commit to.
Give your ATTENTION
Be present and on time. When you schedule a meeting, a phone call, or anything…be there on time. Respect that others have their own valuable work and life too. You do not have the right to strip them of their time. They have blocked this for you, so keep the schedule you set. Once you engage, stay focused on the person online, on the phone or across the table from you. Show you care, that you are a partner and you will be able to gain insight to how you can help or support.
Give your SERVICE
Serve others whenever you can. Once you meet someone, invest the time needed to learn how you might be able to help serve them with their challenges or opportunities. Serving doesn’t place you in a subservient role; it elevates you to a valued and trusted resource. Improving the lives or circumstances of others is a key characteristic of great leaders.
Give your ENERGY
Direct your energy to the task at hand or person you are serving, and do not give less than that. If you find you cannot focus your energy on that one thing, or that client or relationship for the time needed, then maybe you aren’t working in the right role, with the right people or in the right relationships. We give energy when we are passionate and motivated. Learn what this is for you and you always have the energy to give.
Give your HEART
Be honest with others about your intention and be courageous to be vulnerable in your exchanges. Share WHY things are important to you about your work, about your life. Reflect your passion and emotion in a way you hope to receive. People you want to work with and who you want in your life will respect and appreciate this. Those who don’t won’t be deserving of your gift.
Mike Skrypnek
CEO & Founder
Grow Get Give Coaching
[single_post_block text=”Are you a mid-career entrepreneur business owner struggling to make your impact, grow the business you always hoped for and have the freedom to live a fulfilling life?” button_text=”Find Out Today” button_link=”https://calendly.com/growgetgive/discovery?month=2020-11″ button_color=”#41245c”]
We’ve all heard the song and watched the pageant, but how much do we know about Miss America? I’m not talking about the young woman with the sash and the crown. The Miss America Organizationis more than a beauty contest (in fact, I learned during this episode beauty isn’t even part of the competition). It empowers women through college scholarships.
I know you’re not supposed to ask a lady her age, but next year Miss America will celebrate a key milestone — turning 100. While it’s aged gracefully, Miss America is a long way from its roots as an Atlantic City, NJswimsuit contest whose original goal was to bring more people to the city’s famed boardwalk for Labor Day Weekend.
Recently, I had the pleasure of hosting Shantel Krebs, the Chairwoman and interim CEO of the Miss America Organization on All Business with Jeffrey Hayzlett. Not only is she running the organization, but she was also a contestant.
“1997, I was Miss South Dakota, and that really shaped who I am today,” Shantel said. “For me, it was a launching pad. It not only was the launching pad for my scholarships that I applied to go to college. I was the first one in my family to attend college and essentially was paid for by Miss America.”
“We always compare Miss America to the Super Bowl. Is it more likely your daughter compete in Miss America versus your son competing in the Super Bowl? It’s a really difficult process to get on that stage, but the benefits in the process of getting there are so worth it of the lady that you become.”
While most of us think of Miss America as a national television event, the work making that show possible involves many from across the country. It’s all made possible by volunteers from the state-level all the way up to the boardroom.
“The whole organization is made up of volunteers, boots on the ground that have these organizations established in local communities. That have local titleholders crowned, and then they go on to the state competition and volunteers really run the state organizations,” Shantel said. “So, when you look at the impact that we have for those 99 years. It’s an organization that’s been run solely by volunteers. You can’t compare that to another nonprofit.”
Those volunteers and contestants put in countless hours at local, regional, and state competitions. Shantel says even the women who don’t win gain valuable experience you can’t get anywhere else.
“If you see somebody who’s competed in Miss America on their resume, you need to jump on them. These are the overachievers. The ladies really have it all together,” Shantel said. “At the same time (the contestants) have heart and soul. They’re authentic.”
“We don’t want to put her on a pedestal and say this is what she is and what everybody thinks she is. She’s the girl next door.”
She’s also heavily involved in her community.
“When you talk about how do we make a difference? It is not just with the lives of the scholarships that these young ladies are winning, but it’s in their community. So many of them volunteer or have a particular social initiative that they are advocating for, and they are making a difference in their local community or their state.”
Miss America is not without controversy. Many believe that it’s a pageant that sexualizes women, exploiting a contestant’s beauty instead of their brains. Shantel says it’s a stigma the organization works hard to rebel against.
“It’s frustrating,” Shantel said. “Yes, we have a national (TV) network broadcast, but it’s the day-to-day, 365 days a year that we actually are working out there. The social impact initiatives, these causes (the contestants) are supporting, that they’re advocating for in their local communities.”
She added, “We don’t say you have to be invested in a brand-new dress. We don’t judge in one area of our competition on physical beauty. I know it’s hard to believe.”
It’s also hard to believe that there isn’t a swimsuit competition, either. Miss America did away with that in 2018.
“The organization was founded in 1921 on the boardwalk in Atlantic City to extend the vacation season,” Shantel said. “So, they thought, ‘let’s have them parade around in bathing suits.’ Which was very disruptive back then (a swimsuit competition) was something you didn’t do.”
“What we want to make sure people understand the Miss America candidates is that it’s not about the personal and the beauty physical component of it, we’re judging these ladies on the impacts they’ve made, their education and career and where they want to go with it.”
Shantel says you should think of Miss America as a job interview that the world can see because becoming Miss America is a full-time job for the winner. It isn’t just a crown, a sash, and a bouquet of roses.
“What happens if she wins the crown and the title, she gets up before the press and asked what her goals and objectives (are) and what she wants to accomplish. What’s her business plan? So, right off the bat, she’s answering tough questions,” Shantel said. “The next morning, we send her off to the major networks in New York, or wherever it may be, put her on camera the next morning on the major morning shows. From there, she goes right on the road speaking. In a non-pandemic year, she’s traveling every 48 to 72 hours in a new location. Miss America is a 365-day job. She’s totally making a difference.”
She continued, “Beyond that, not just focusing on Miss America, but all those 50 other state titleholders. They go back to their communities and are continuing to advocate for the cause and make a difference in their states.”
While the pandemic did slow Miss America down in 2020, the pageant plans to come roaring back in 2021, just in time to celebrate its 100th Birthday.
This discussion was eye-opening and opened up my understanding of the Miss America Organization and what these young women do year-round. We all could learn a lesson from these future leaders.
There’s a lot more to our conversation, including talk about sponsorship and branding. Click hereto hear the rest of our chat.
“At some point, every bully loses his powers. But that doesn’t mean the bully becomes powerless.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“This Is What Happens To A Brazen Bully In A Negotiation”
People don’t realize; they’re always negotiating.
“She’s gone! It’s over. I guess all good things come to an end,” were her whimsical statements. So do bad things, was the response. And eventually, bad things happen to a bully, especially one that’s brazen. That’s occurred throughout history. A person gains power, abuses it, bully other people, and at some point, people gang-up on the bully to take back their power. Supremacy is always fluid, even while one is taking it from others. That whole process is an extended and drawn-out negotiation. Observe the following to gain insight into how a bully gains power, loses it, and what to guard against that may signal remnants of a bully’s power rising again.
Aren’t we all wanting to “come home to who we really are?” Many movies and songs have referenced “Going Home” in one way or another.
Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz has a famous line after she clicks her ruby red slippers when she says, “There is No Place like Home.” John Denver, in his famous song, “Take Me Home Country Roads” works with the theme in this song that there is nothing like home. This is evident as Denver constantly says, “Take me home…..To the place I belong,” as he talks about the beautiful scenery that he loves at his “Home.”
This song was a huge hit for John Denver because people can feel the emotion in the melody and lyrics. It’s upbeat, positive, and takes us back to our own home. Through countless adaptations, the enduring success and familiarity of “Country Roads” seems to lie in its transcendent ability to evoke feelings of home and belonging.
For many of us, this time of year with the holidays just around the corner, going to our “family home” and being with relatives is something we typically do. It might be a bit different this year, but holidays and home seem to come to mind for me during November and December. Sometimes even that experience can be a bit unnerving, filled with fear and trepidation that our critical Aunt Jane might ask us if “we ate our way through the pandemic” or say something like “you mean you haven’t found a job yet?”
The “home” I am referring to is in a more metaphorical sense. It relates to that inner peace and internal home of joy and comfort we all are seeking. Whether its during good times or not so good times, I think we all can find comfort coming home to a place of peace and tranquility inside ourselves. There is a lot of attention these days about “mindfulness” or changing mindset practices to assist us in this process, especially in times of much upheaval and uncertainty.
I think really coming home to “who we are” is a process we go through our entire life. By seeking out new experiences and working through change and conflict can we get there and discover our true self and is similar to getting ourselves into alignment or being true to who we are. At different stages of our lives, and through sometimes challenging experiences, we are forced to re-evaluate and reinvent ourselves to get into that alignment of our true purpose and life goals. The famous author, Maxwell Maltz, says it like this:
“Creative striving for a goal that is important to you as a result of your own deep-felt needs, aspirations and talents, brings happiness as well as success because you will be functioning as you were meant to function. Man is by nature a goal-striving being. And because man is “built that way” he is not happy unless he is functioning as he was made to function – as a goal-striver. Thus success and true happiness not only go together but each enhances the other. Creativity also leads to a longer life. Many creative people produce their greatest works during their senior years. It may also explain why some men die soon after they retire. They no longer have a creative/productive outlet.”
In my first book, “Revolutionary Recruiting,” I share with readers my wisdom of working with candidates over 25 years and how I assisted them to go on a journey of discovery to find their way home to who they really are. In my soon to be released workbook, “Revolutionary Reinvention,” I talk about how you can go on your OWN personal discovery through a series of steps to find your way home. It is designed to reinvent yourself during uncertain times and how to transfer your skills into another area if you have fear of losing your job, already have been a part of a layoff or on a furlough. The method that is expanded in this “Revolutionary Reinvention Workbook” is The Faremouth Method, a five-step process for us to evaluate important variables to achieve goals in our life. No matter what happens around us, the core “self” is something we need to constantly focus on. Challenges in our life motivate us to improve.
During times of great uncertainty, coming to your “home” to be comforted and to get into alignment with who you really are can be a very important mission for all of us. Sometimes our journey to get back home in a metaphorical way is filled with many roadblocks. If we let our internal determination and “compass” direct our path and not let external events dictate our journey, we can emerge stronger, happier beings through the process.
The only constant in our lives is change. Being in alignment in our 20’s might be very different than being in alignment in our 40’s and beyond. There is always a way to reach our destination to allow our creativity to flourish and bring us the happiness we seek.
How do we do that when our life as we have known it has suddenly taken a major turn in a not so comfortable direction? What if we have lost our job, a spouse, life as we have known it? What is the constant that can keep us going? Can keep us from falling apart? Can allow us to be like a huge oak tree with its deep roots in the ground?
Let’s take a look at how a recent candidate, Fred, went on his journey to find his “way back home” using The Faremouth Method. There are never any guarantees that what worked for one person may work for you, but the process might give you some insight into how you can evaluate your options to make your own journey to get back home to who you really are a positive experience.
Step Number 1 – Do A Self Inventory – Fred had been a senior-level technical sales representative with 15 years of combined experience for a manufacturing/distribution facility and recently lost his job. While doing his Self-Inventory, he decided that his family was deeply rooted in where he currently lived and worked and it was best for the family to not relocate to another city and to instead try to find a job in his current city. This was an opportunity to combine his skill set and his passion.
Step Number 2 – Ask Better Questions – Fred had two options. He could either look for work in the same field where no one was hiring or he could find work in a new field where he had an applied skill set. He was able to take a temporary job, talk to a career consultant, redo his résumé to put him more in line with an in-demand industry.
Step Number 3 – Step Out of Your Comfort Zone – Fred realized he was always the go-to-guy others always called about a problem with their computer, phone, etc. He had to Step Out Of His Comfort Zone to make new contacts and expand his circle in this new field.
Step Number 4 – Take The Time To Do It Right – Fred had the opportunity to take his time by working a seasonal part-time job in his new field for experience because his wife had a secure paycheck. While they still had to make cutbacks in their expenditures, it still gave him the Time To Do It Right in landing a new full-time job that would be permanent.
Step Number 5 – Be a Hunter – He employed some of the mechanics of bird hunting by aiming at where the bird would be when he shot his gun and not where it was currently. He hunted for classes, contacts, a part-time retail job, working afternoons and evenings, in order to advance his new career, pairing it with his knowledge base and passion.
Fred could relate to the song by John Denver, “Take Me Home Country Roads,” and maybe even to Dorothy’s remark about “There is No Place Like Home” from The Wizard of Oz. During this holiday season, perhaps it will be a virtual get together with relatives from up north who would join in this year. Coming home to who we really are can be an exciting journey if we decide to change our mindset and realize that our internal process always knows the way back home and will for sure get us there. No matter what happens we know our core beliefs will always help us achieve our goals. If we use this Five-Step Method to help us get there in this New Work World, all the better!! When we trust that internal compass that instinctively knows who we are, there is only one path home.
What happened to our voting system? It used to be that we, the people voted by mailing in our votes before the actual voting day, early vote, or vote at the polls the day of. Sitting in front of our televisions we found out the results of the election that night or early the next morning. No longer do we have a voting day. It is now a voting week or more. We the people voted, but did it count?
This year after the polls closed, the outcome of several positions including The President of the United States is still unknown. We have more technology connected to voting than ever before, yet we did not receive the results faster than when they were hand-counted.
Mail-in Votes
One of the problems causing the delay is allowing mail-in votes after election day. An excuse we are given is that the US Post Office has trouble getting the mailed votes in on time. Though, not an issue in the last decade, somehow it is now. Is it actually a Post Office problem?
A mail-in ballot is available to those who choose this way to cast their votes, by requesting to receive one. People fill out the ballot and mail it in. Obviously, we all know that in election years the official voting day is the first Tuesday in November. We want to be counted so why would anyone wait.
Unnecessarily, we wait for the results. In the past, we required to have the votes in on or by election day. Why we extended this deadline does not compute. Except for this year because of COVID-19, we all know that our taxes are due by April 15th. The IRS is firm on their rulings, so we do not miss the deadline. Why isn’t voting the same way?
Yet, this year we extended our absentee ballot due date. With all this technology we cannot get the votes in on time and counted efficiently. Surely, the voters want their ballot counted so their motivation is to send them in on or before time.
Instead, as the votes are counted, we observe data dumps in which candidate results are flipped. We also notice a number of votes for candidates disappearing during the counting delays. This is not about late absentee ballots coming in. It is about extending the date for accepting ballots, opening up the possibility of adjusting the results. The extra time allows for higher accessibility for tampering to occur.
The People Wait
The delay in getting the election results in itself, creates a problem, the waiting. While Americans are watching the process with no outcome, frustration and insecurity build as we wonder if our votes are counted correctly. We sit and stew, hearing different excuses for what is going on, realizing that our voting system is broken and our voices are not being heard.
In several close races like The President of the United States, results are still not available. That is disturbing. We watch as the process is manipulated, become aware of suspicious count movements, and observe scenes of legal counting procedures not being followed. What does that tell us about the current system?
The People’s Vote
Voting results so far reveal that Americans are split. We as a nation are divided, a major red flag. There is so much discord in our government it has severed the people instead of bringing us together. Again, the dinosaurs in our government are interested in getting their way instead of helping its people.
Is it time to address term limits, pulling out of office those who work around the system, to fight for themselves? The people will have a chance to elect those who understand the focus – the American people. Is it time to dissolve the two parties and have just one?
The Leaders Actions
A glaring tell is during the State of the Union. Each year half of the room sits when the President is speaking while the other half stands since he is in their party. The politicians have lost respect for the office. When our leader speaks, whether you voted for him or not, you stand up. My candidates have not always won but the office of the President is still the office.
You might have noticed that Democrats and Republicans lately have not put up any worthwhile successors. Are there no capable candidate – material people? Possibly, the best candidates choose not to run because, like the police, they are constantly being attacked. These are clues to be aware of. How can the people work together while we watch our leaders pull further apart!
“It is hardly too strong to say that
the Constitution was made to guard the people
against the dangers of intentions.
There are men in all ages who mean to govern well,
but they mean to govern.
They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters.”
– Daniel Webster
In due course, from this election, the American people will realize we are a country divided. We need changes in our legislative system. The House and Senate are fighting on their issues and not solving matters for the people.
The People First
For example, during this year’s campaign one of the biggest issues, at least in the top two is the environment. At a time like this is that such an important issue? What about vital issues like COVID-19, Americans out of work, the supply chain is fractured so products are not available. These are the concerns of the American people. The environment can wait.
The first priority is the American people. Sure, there is an environmental problem and an illegal immigrant problem. Now is not the time to sue each other. Americans are hurting so some matters can wait. Take care of our citizens first and put the rest aside. To our leaders, pull together and help us!
How the People React
The American people have been decidedly vocal about our government, which is our right. Unfortunately, it is to the point of anger turning to violence. If our leaders cannot work together and stop their childish displays of actions and words, what is the likelihood of our citizens changing? I’m talking about the Democrats and the Republicans, it is a whole issue, not a party issue. This is not about what side a voter is on. This is about our American right to decide who we want to vote for. Government processes are taking that right away from us.
People of America
Our government is not going to change. We, the people produce change. It is our duty to correct our government, admonish our media, and help our citizens. We are in this together and the only ones willing to work on it, the only ones that care about us. The politicians are not going to pull it together. The American people can and must.
“Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
Mark Twain
Voice of the People to be Heard
We can create change by working together to build each other up and not tear each other down. Riots and protest marches have been tried and do not work. Engaging in verbal and physical fights is not how to fix problems. Only pulling together will produce change.
We start now. It is necessary for us to communicate better with each other. Communication only occurs when the listener understands what the speaker meant, not by interpreting what they thought the speaker meant. When something speaks and you do not agree with them or you feel challenged, don’t judge. Find out where you differ by exchanging information. Nothing will ever become altered if we do not open up conversations among ourselves. To turn our country around, stop pointing fingers and respect each other.
“A patriot must always be ready
to defend his country against his government.”
Edward Abbey – American author and essayist
We the People
Times have changed. Our leaders are not working for us. It is necessary to pull together to reform our political system. It is our duty to admonish the media, which contrives to keep the people divided. The answer to our problems is up to us, and by working together we reestablish our government.
You are either a solution to a problem or a source of the problem. It starts today! America needs a solution and we the people are it.
Today we are living in times of great concern and uncertainty. An ominous need to protect ourselves is coupled with a requirement to protect others. Scarcity rules the day and a hoarder’s mentality can seep in. It is true that giving has profound effects, and today it is as important as ever, to lead with service and have confidence that the universe will fill that space you open up by doing so. Here are some practical and simple ways to give and earn credibility so you can be known, liked and trusted:
Give your SERVICE
Give your HEART
