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Do You Know How to Stop Your Negative Thoughts?

“Either you control your negative thoughts, or your negative thoughts will control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He worried about the worst-case scenario and his stomach became queasy due to his negative thoughts. He thought, “I’m through if this doesn’t work.”

I’m willing to bet that you’ve had such occurrences in your life – I know I’ve had them. Have you thought what causes us to focus on negative thoughts?  Do you know how to stop your negative thoughts from pummeling your mind?

What causes people to have negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts stem from our brain attempting to protect us. Thus, if it senses something that caused us angst in the past, we become guarded. We may do that even if our latest perceived threat is only loosely associated with a past occurrence. If we become obsessive, our thought may become negative.

To thwart the thoughts of past negativity, consider the fact that you survived whatever trauma came from it. More than likely you learned something new, something about yourself, and a new way to cope with negativity. I’m not suggesting that you haphazardly discount negative thoughts, I’m suggesting that you not allow them to debilitate you.

You can prevent negative thoughts from overwhelming you by:

1. Focusing on something more positive.

2. Getting drunk! You’re probably shocked I said that. I’m just joking. But that’s an example of how you can alter your thoughts. You can shock your mind, which will take it off the negative thought. While this may be temporary, you can do this over a longer period. Just keep thinking of more shocking thoughts.

3. Preparing for a worst-case scenario, know that you’re prepared if it occurs, and ridding your mind of the negativity associated with that thought.

4. Focus on what’s positive in your life. While doing so, negativity will take a back seat.

5. Use negative thoughts as a source of motivation. If something is nagging at you, realize that it’s doing so for a reason. Something is probably lurking in the subconsciousness of your mind. Elevate it to your state of consciousness. Then, you can deal with it. Once done, banish it to an island of loneliness.

Negative thoughts are the killer of wellbeing and advancement in life. Once you learn to deal with your negative demons, you will have slain a hidden source that prevents you from moving to higher points in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

If you’re focusing on negativity during a negotiation, you’ll be more likely to play defense. You’ll be less likely to go on the offense and take advantage of momentary openings. The latter will be due to your hesitation to act at that moment. More than likely, you’ll get stuck in an analytical mode. Before you realize it, the opportunity will have passed.

When you find you’re focusing too much on negativity during a negotiation, take a break and clear your head. Assess the cause and source of your thoughts. Create a strategy to deal with negative occurrences. Above all, never negotiate while in a negative frame of mind. Stop your negative thoughts.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Negative #Stop #Thoughts #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Growth Management Personal Development Women In Business

Executive Presence is Seen, Not Said: 3 Techniques to Improve How You Show Up

Presence, and how we are perceived, is much more about what is seen, than what is said. As a leader, it’s about how you show up – in every situation.

You have 7-30 seconds* to make an impression. Every time you enter a room, every time you greet an employee, every time you meet a client, the brains of the people watching you are making hundreds of subconscious decisions. And your body language is practically shouting at them. Isn’t it time you brought intention to those interactions?

If one more executive says, “It takes me a few minutes to warm up, but then I’m good,” I’m going to scream. They’ve just squandered the most important seconds of impression they can make. And research has shown that people decide whether or not to like or trust you (in those precious first 30 seconds) based mostly on your body language**. That research also shows that if there is a disconnect between your words and your body – like when you’re saying “Everything is fine!” but you’re looking nervously at your watch and your shoulders are tense – people become even more uncertain about you.

At ImpovEdge, we develop CEOs and their teams to help them see the whole picture of what they are trying to communicate. Focus on these three techniques, and you can instantly add greater confidence and presence to your persona.

1. Get Set Before You Get There – Don’t “warm up” on the people you’re leading. If you’ve come from a stressful meeting, take the time alone to breathe deeply a few times, smile and relax your face, and stand tall again. That “reset” will help you to bring the energy you intend to your next interaction. It also helps you to get your head and tone straight, so that it is appropriate for the setting and the subject matter.

2. Slow Down and Stand Tall – When people hurry, their rushed movements tend to hunch them over, and their pace gives off a sense of stress. Some of the best leaders I’ve seen move through space, through groups of people and through their day without that frenetic energy. If you pull your spine and head up, it immediately allows you to breathe more deeply and move more confidently. You can still exude energy and get a lot done. By adding this focus, and slowing your movements and responses, it brings a sense of thoughtfulness and gravitas to your interactions.

3. Make Eye Contact – There is nothing more appealing than attention. When a person turns away from their screen, looks at you directly, and connects with eye contact, we feel important. By intentionally making eye contact with people, you deepen even the shortest interactions and strengthen the other person’s sense that you are confident.

Focus on being intentional about the non-verbal aspects of presence to strengthen your communication. The more you bring the most authentic, confident and focused you to any conversation, the more people will trust and want to work with you.

(*A Neural Mechanism of First Impressions, Nature Neuroscience, by Daniela Schiller et al. 2009)

(**Nonverbal Communication, by Albert Mehrabian, 2007)

Karen Hough is the Founder and CEO of ImprovEdge, one of the top 1% of women-owned businesses in the US, an Amazon #1 bestselling author, recipient of the Athena Award and the Stevie Award for Most Innovative Company, and a Yale grad. 

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Economics Marketing Personal Development Sales

Five Myths About Price and Discounting

I can’t think of any concepts more misunderstood than price, pricing, and discounting.  An alarming number of businesses price poorly.  We even teach falsehoods about price at the college level.  Let’s discuss five myths about pricing, and its Mr. Hyde alter-ego, discounting.

I usually start breathing fire on this topic, so buckle up.  If this starts feeling a little too close to home, don’t get mad.  Get better.

Myth #1:  Price should be related to your costs.

Price should relate to customer value, period. Cost-plus pricing (your costs, plus some margin should equal price) is only useful to set a minimum, or a walkaway, not your actual price.

Take this one question quiz: Your customer wants a price that is below your costs.  You tell him so.  Question: is the average customer more likely to:

A: Erupt with a sympathetic “Oh, in that case, tell me what you want me to pay!”

B: Let you know, politely or otherwise, that your costs are not his/her problem, and (gently but?) firmly give you some version of “take it or leave it”.

So, if your costs are none of the customer’s business at the low end– and you know it – why should your costs be any of your customer’s business at the high end?

Customers will only pay any price (high or low) voluntarily – at least in the long run.  The reason they pay the price they do is that they find sufficient value in the outcomes your offer delivers.  Figure out your value, quantify it, and then set your price accordingly.

Myth #2:  Dropping your price will increase demand.

This myth is taught in economics classes the world over, up through the college level.  Economists build mathematical models using the law of demand.  Here’s the catch:  The law of demand assumes a few things in order to get the math to work:

  • All consumers and all producers have all information about all alternatives at all times – for free, and without effort.
  • All buying decisions are made without emotion…buyers are all Dr. Spock-like in a world that still uses money.
  • Related to “emotionlessness”, price is merely a number. Offered price does not communicate value to any buyer at any time.
  • All products and services are perfect substitutes for each other. They are absolute commodities, with no differences. There is no such thing as differentiation.
  • It costs nothing to switch vendors. There are no costs to qualify a vendor, and the human bias toward the status quo does not exist.
  • …there are a bunch more, but isn’t any one of these good enough to make my point?

Real life example: If your offer’s ROI is often north of 500% at similar clients, a hesitant customer isn’t going to be motivated by price. Price isn’t the problem with the deal.  Discounting is only going to convince your prospect to doubt the numbers.  Well, OK…not “only”.  There are the financial consequences, too.

Myth #3:  Price is just another feature…no more or less important than any other.

My jaw drops every time (yes it’s happened) a sales “professional” says “It’s the company’s job to make money at the price I sold”.  Then they wonder why nobody in the company invites them to the grownups’ table.

Psychologically, price is the final comparison against value – (value=desirability of your offer’s differentiation). Therefore, it’s the counterbalance against the value of all the differentiated features.  Companies with pricing savvy have proved this for decades, and in many industries – even “commodities” like steel and money.

This is so deeply embedded in the human psyche that price actually communicates value.  Buyers look more favorably at high-priced alternatives – assuming there must be a reason for the price. Dropping price perceptually diminishes every other feature in your offer.  No other feature can do that kind of damage.

If you’re unable to build value in the customer’s mind for the other features, then, sure…go with myth #3.

Myth #4:  You can “make it up on volume”.

The mathematical argument here is that by increasing unit volume at a lower contribution margin, you’ll not only get back to break-even, but get further above it.  (if it isn’t going to end up as more profitable, why work harder for the same – or fewer — profit dollars?).

The mathematical argument assumes your fixed costs won’t rise too.  Let’s think that through.  Say you’re a manufacturing leader and need to double capacity because your company decided  to “make it up on volume”.  The math assumes that you accomplish twice as much using the same plant, equipment, staff, utility bills, G&A, etc.  How many seconds of business school does it take to sniff out the fallacy?  Sure, in an infinite universe with infinite possible realities, it must be possible to “make it up on volume” somewhere, but I haven’t seen it anywhere in this dimension.

Here’s some independent research:

  • McKinsey & Company analyzed the entire Fortune 1000, and on average, a 1% drop in average pricewould cause an 8% drop in profit.
  • Mara and Roriello,in Harvard Business Review, studied an even larger sample, and found1% drop in average pricewould cause an 1 % drop in profit.

So…”make it up on volume” disciples:  how much do you discount before down becomes up?

Myth #5:  You can discount for “one time”, or for a “limited time”.

This is the myth of the “limited time offer”.  Your pricing policy is one of the easiest things to train customers on. No reputable company will really give a discount just once, and everyone knows it.  Nowadays, every customer just assumes it .  In fact, it’s actually harder to convince a prospect that an offer really isa one-time thing than it is to simply sell the value in the first place. Plus, the easy option is more profitable.

It gets even worse: customers are very hard to “un-train” on a new pricing policy. Once you go into the discounting tar pit, you might only get out as a fossil.

Worst of all: People change employers.  When one of your customers gets a job elsewhere, they carry knowledge of your discounting behavior with them.  See why it’s a tar pit?

Extra Value Bonus:  

Myth #6: If a customer says “Your price is too high”, it must be true.

Whenever somebody took the time to tell me what they think of my price, they  signaled that talking about my offer and its price was worth their time.  What they are really saying is usually “your value is too low”, or “I don’t understand your value well enough”. The other popular option: “I want your product, but am just checking to make sure I’m not paying any more than I have to.”  This is simply a due diligence step, not an actual price issue.

The customers who really think your price is too high don’t even return your calls.

Bottom Line

As I said, if this article started feeling a little too close to home, don’t get mad.  Get better. If you want to get better, contact me.

To your success!