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Tag: strategies for dealing with difficult people

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The Value of Relationships – Long Versus Short

“Life’s value-add is perceptional. Manage your expectations to better assess the sources from which value can be attracted to your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are the relationships you’re in adding or subtracting value from your life? It’s a serious question to ponder and one to reassess daily.

Too many times we wake up one morning and realize that we’re no longer living the ideal life we seek. Depending on the severity of that realization, we go into a state of panic, brought on by thoughts of uneasiness. You know when things aren’t right in your life! It’s usually a terse feeling that emanates from your gut that delivers the message. Then, you may appear to be erratic to those who know you, which may cause them to reevaluate the value you’re bringing to their life. That can set off a vicious cycle fraught with angst and anxiety. The question then becomes, what’s a person to do to maintain some sense of equilibrium in their life? The answer lies in the relationships you have with others.

If you find yourself in toxic relationships, at work, at home, etc., change them! Seek to alter the dynamics of the relationships that drag you down emotionally and/or physically. It may be difficult to do but consider the cost of your sanity, your wellbeing. Weigh the cost of that against the difficulty that change might require.

When engaging with people, consider the value you add to their life and they to yours. Some people will be with you for life (long-term) others for a season (short-term). Accept this mentally, understand it and don’t allow it to become a conundrum when it’s time to move on. Don’t get wrapped up thinking that you have to stay with people due to the time you’ve known them; such thoughts will make you sentimental, which will jade your emotions and thought process about moving on. There are others that want to add value to your life, but you won’t find them holding on to those that don’t.

When you know you’re in short-term environments, treat those in it as though they may become long-term associates. Doing so may turn them into long-term allies, but don’t become fixated on the thought that they’ll be with you through thick and thin. Having such a mindset will allow moving on to be less jerky. If someone stays in your life longer than what had been anticipated, because they were adding value, be thankful. You’ve been blessed … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

With some people, a negotiation may be transactional, not intended to be of long-term value. That’s okay. Knowing the parameters of this type of relationship allows you to be better positioned to engage in the negotiation. After all, when you negotiate, you never know who will truly fit into a long-term relationship until you examine their values. Evaluate such closely and from different perspectives. What you eventually find may not be what you initially saw, and what you initially saw may be something that you initially didn’t expect.

The point is, keep your emotions grounded in all of your relationships. Accept people for the value they add to your life, and the value you add to theirs.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

The Danger In The ‘Us Versus Them’ Dilemma

“When it comes to an ‘us versus them’ mentality, potential danger looms in the inability to understand ‘them’.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“If we stick together, we can overcome them.” Those were the words of a devoted follower of his group. That is, he was a follower until he realized that he did not want to follow the group in the direction it was going.

There’s danger in the ‘us versus them’ mindset; it’s a dilemma people don’t realize when they’re in it. So, what is that danger and why should you be mindful of its pitfalls?

Psychologically, everyone needs to belong to an entity that’s larger than themselves. That’s not the dangerous part of the dilemma; the danger lies in the degree that you’re willing to follow the group, based on your own beliefs, and the confliction that might be caused as the result of those two being out of sync with one another. It also highlights what can occur, per how you view what the group terms as enemies of its norms. You hear that in the intonation of, “they’re not like us.” Therefore, something must be wrong with them.

If one adopts the latter mindset, their mind becomes clouded by the prominent thought that someone that doesn’t share the same norms as the group that they belong to, must be ‘missing the boat’ (i.e. not seeing something right). Once such a mindset is adopted, you’ll seek confirmation in the actions of those that are unlike your group, to confirm why you can’t treat them like you treat members of your group. In essence, your mind will have been jaded to receiving positive thoughts and ideas that might otherwise allow you to see ‘the others’ in a positive light.

If you want to be more open-minded, do so by believing, and allowing your thoughts to be moved by, the thinking that people may have different opinions and perspectives about something, but because they do, that doesn’t make them wrong or a bad person.

When it comes to ‘us versus them’, keep an open mind with the intent to discover something new about the perspective being discussed. Doing so will allow you to gain more insight into anything that you weigh. That will make you a more informed individual … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, you should always be mindful as to how you’re being influenced by the biases you have, towards the person making the proposal or offer. Even if you don’t like the initial offer, don’t let your initial emotions alter its appearance. There may be more than meets the eye, if you keep an open mind and consider any hidden benefits the offer might contain.

Good negotiators are aware that they can control a negotiation better, by controlling themselves. When it comes to, ‘us versus them’ in a negotiation, such a demeanor will only serve as a blight on an otherwise more successful negotiation outcome.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Danger #Dilemma #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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Know When You’re Playing A Long Versus Short Game

“The less you leave to chance, the less chance will be the source that leads you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He gently stroked her hand as she was transitioning from this world to someplace more worldly. As he did, he gently whispered to no one in particular, “had I known you were going to be such a pivotal force in my life, I would have treated you differently.”

In your dealings with people, do you play a long or short game (i.e. develop long-term or short-term strategies)?

To a degree, that’s a trick question. Yes, you should have strategies developed based on what you’re attempting to achieve in a relationship, and those strategies will be based on the person that you’re involved with. That means you’ll develop strategies for family members and others that are close to you that are different from those that do not fall into that category.

You may not be aware of the degree that you’re implementing strategies when dealing with people, but nevertheless, you are implementing strategies. Even if it’s just at a subconscious level, you engage with others based on the benefits derived from doing so. If you raise your sense of awareness, related to the short-term gains/opportunities you seek from such engagements, you can gain greater control of yourself and those interactions for the long-term.

When you’re mindful of what you want from a relationship, you become more aware of what you need to do to enhance it. That should trigger the degree of willingness you put forth to engage in actions that promote what’s required for that enhancement.

With a heightened sense of awareness, per the value you associate with any relationship, you gain greater control of where the relationship goes. So, no matter where you are in a relationship, reflect on what you want from it, what you’re willing to change about it, and where such changes might lead. In making such assessments, you’ll find paths to longer, more satisfying relationships … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

If you’ve followed my articles, you’re aware that my motto is, “you’re always negotiating.” That means, what you do today impacts tomorrow’s outcomes. When it comes to playing a long or short game in a negotiation, your strategies might tend to be more to the point in a short-term undertaking, while the opposite will more likely be the case if the negotiation will be protracted. Thus, one strategy you may adopt in future negotiations, especially if you’re not sure where it might lead in the future, is to treat a short-term engagement as though it was long-term. Doing so may disclose unforeseen benefits.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#LongGame #ShortGame #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Know When Good Enough Is Good Enough

“To avoid ‘good enough’ from being supplanted by sorrow. Know where ‘good enough’ resides, in relationship to despair.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I hit the mark!” “No, you didn’t hit the mark!” “Well, we won! So, I hit enough of it and that was good enough!”

That was a snippet of a conversation held between two associates. In essence, they were discussing to what degree they’d accomplished their goal, versus if they accomplished enough of it to consider the outcome a win.

In everyday life, our mind is bombarded with hordes of information; a lot of that is sheltered from our state of consciousness to protect us from information overload. One way to be more productive, while also maintaining a more even-keeled life, is to know when good enough is good enough.

When it comes to outcomes sought, we must always be mindful of the law of diminishing returns. That law states, at some point the degree of effort you put into maximizing the acquisition of a goal or opportunity, that effort becomes diminished per the time and resources you put forth to do so. Thus, in order to maximize the time and effort you put into achieving a goal or opportunity, you should set parameters that indicate your proximity to a point of diminishing return. To do otherwise could mean that you lose a degree of productivity, along with a mental, more peaceful state of mind. The latter will lead to more stress in your life, which could lead you into a vicious downward spiraling stream.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

To win more negotiations, you have to know when ‘good enough’ is good enough. Don’t become overly transfixed on squeezing every little bit of gain out of a negotiation. Doing that could lead to the forfeit of some of the gains you’ve achieved.

As in everyday life, in a negotiation, set parameters that indicate when you’ve reached a ‘good enough’ point. In a negotiation that indicator can be enacted by bracketing your expected outcome (e.g. high point, mid-point, low point).

If you find yourself transitioning from the mid-point of your expected outcome into the high point, that’s the time to become more aware of what’s occurring in the negotiation (i.e. noting the demeanor of the other negotiator and the temperature of the negotiation). Taking those factors into consideration when assessing to what degree you should move forward will allow you to make such a judgment without the evaluation process that might otherwise be required.

If you use these thoughts to capture the essence of the outcome you seek to achieve in your negotiations, you’ll keep more of the gains you acquire … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember you’re always negotiating! 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#GoodEnough #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

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You Can Have More Control Than You Realize

“To have greater control in your life, start by controlling what you control in your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

That was what she said with passionate sincerity as soon as he answered the phone. Her cell phone battery had died, right at the time when she and her friend were supposed to be deciding where they were going to meet. Both had been driving to meet each other at an undetermined destination. She knew he’d be upset because she knew the demeanor he’d displayed in similar situations in the past.

By saying “I’m sorry” numerous times, as soon as her battery had enough power to call him, she defused a situation that could have quickly gotten out of control. That was also the way she controlled that situation.

What do you do to defuse and control situations before they get out of control? You can have greater control in any situation by first making a genuine effort to connect with someone. You can do this by displaying heartfelt empathy for the plight that the person is experiencing; this should be done in a manner that allows him to sense that your actions are sincere. To the degree that you can suspend negative prejudgments that might afflict your thoughts about the person related to past encounters (e.g. he’s going to be enraged with me, so I’d better adopt a posture that says don’t push me too far), you can stay ‘in the moment’ and foster a mindset that’s less fraught with despair. That will allow you to be perceived as being more empathetic.

My motto is, “You’re always negotiating!” That means, what you do today influences tomorrow’s outcome. Thus, a person’s actions today gives insights into how he might react to situations tomorrow. The woman mentioned in this story knew how her friend would react to not being able to reach her. Thus, she was able to control him by stating so profusely how sorry she was.

If you become more mindful of the actions you engage in with others, you too can shape their future actions/reactions. That means you’ll have greater control of your life’s activities … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, like a game of chess, you have to be aware of how your opponent will respond to moves you make. Being aware, based on past experiences about that person’s actions, allows you to predict with more certainty how he’ll respond in different situations, which will give you greater control throughout the negotiation. That in turn, allows you to make the moves (i.e. offers/counteroffers) that will progress the negotiation in the manner that suits your negotiation plans. That also means, your negotiation efforts will net greater outcomes for you.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You Afraid Of Achieving More In Your Life?

“Greater achievement starts with the right mindset. To acquire the right mindset, build on your past achievements.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you lack the confidence to become bigger, better? If so, do you really know what’s holding you back? The answer is, you!

Some people are so comfortable in their life, they forget to grow. They forget, the same attitude that allowed them to grow is the same attitude they can build on to continue that growth. Do you remember that attitude, what that mindset was, for you?

As long as you’re alive, you should continuously explore the outer reaches of your grasp. That’s the way that you continue to grow.

Don’t let your current lack of drive be the inertia that prevents you from moving to higher levels. You’ll only climb as high as you think you can go, and you’ll never know how high that is until you attempt to go higher.

So, when it comes to moving higher, move higher. First, start the process in your mind. Then, put your thoughts into action. You may not succeed to the degree that you thought you would, but you’ll no longer be where you were before you started your ascension. Note any progress as progress made, no matter how slight it might be. That progress will combat the inertia that previously occupied your thought process, which means you’ll be clearer in the future for higher takeoffs … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, if you play it ‘too safe’, you could dampen the gains that you would have otherwise realized. Plus, you’ll display to the other negotiator your pallet for risk. Displaying that will allow him to calibrate the offers he can make, based on the degree of risk adversity you display. Depending on the value of what you’re negotiating, such a move could make you negotiate against yourself (e.g. Other negotiator: This is the last one and I have someone else that’s interested in it. You: I’ll take it!)

When it comes to exploring higher possibilities, be an explorer. Even if you have to bluff yourself into believing that you can obtain more, do so with vigor. Make your belief believable to yourself and your negotiation colleague. He, in turn, may see you in a new light, one in which he grants you more respect and more concessions.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #Fear #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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What Frequency Are You On?

“The frequency you’re tuned to determines what you hear and how you act. Be attuned to the frequency that serves you best, when it’s the best that you need to serve you.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… We just can’t seem to #communicate! I don’t know what’s wrong with you.” Such were the sentiments of one person to the other.

Being on the same frequency as someone that you’re attempting to communicate with, is essential for the transmission of your thoughts and ideas; it’s also pertinent for the assembly of the other person’s thoughts and ideas. If you’re not on the same frequency, at best you’ll misconnect, at worse, you can destroy a relationship.

As my astute friend and thought leader David Dadian, CEO of #Powersolution states when referring to frequency, there’s a commonness to the words one uses when communicating with someone else. That commonness enhances the communications; that, in turn, decreases the incidents of #miscommunications. Thus, when people are on the same frequency, they’re communicating on the same level, they’re tuned to the same station, the same network. One is not at 97.5, while the other is at 107.2.

One way to determine that you’re on the same frequency is by the energy level you experience. A higher energy level of experience denotes a positive flow, while a low level can be the signal of miscommunications. A low level also tends to drain people of their energy.

The next time you’re engaged in what you determine to be a serious conversation, note the level of energy present. Even if you’re discussing something of sorrow or glee, they’ll be a degree of energy that’s locked into the exchange of thoughts and ideas. As long as you can relate that energy to being on the same frequency, you’ll know, at least, that you’re really communicating with the other party. If you observe a whimsical appearance, displays of confusion, or any sign that the person with whom you’re speaking is not getting your message, that will be an indication that there’s a frequency mismatch. That should also serve as a signal to reconnect; you’ve lost your WiFi.

When it comes to frequency, the better you and your partner are attuned to the same station, the greater the chance you’ll communicate at a higher level than otherwise would be the case … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation, the outcome rest on your ability to communicate effectively with your counterpart. Some people don’t communicate as efficiently, because they allow mitigating circumstances to sideline their efforts. That can come in the form of not liking someone appearance, ethnicity, gender, etc.

To enhance your negotiation efforts, be attentive to the distractions that might prevent you from being on the same frequency as your negotiation partner. When both of you reach that plateau, you’ll sense it. It’ll be like the two of you just click when exchanging offers and counteroffers. That’ll also be the time to pursue your negotiation objectives more fervently. That’s the power of being on the same frequency. You and the other negotiator will hear the same things, and you’ll be using common words to speak the same language.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Communication

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How In-Depth Is Your Communication Planning?

“To communicate more effectively, do so based on the mindset of the recipient.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Before communicating with someone, what factors do you consider? Too much information, or information not delivered in the manner expected, can go unconsumed. Too little information can meet the same fate; it can also lead the receiver to seek more insight. So, what should you do to enhance your communication efforts?

Determining the degree of information to bestow upon anyone is guided by many factors. Consider the following factors to enhance your communications.

1. Environment

Always consider your communication environment. One that’s too loud or too quiet might incite unintended distractions, which may impact the reception of your message. Depending on the message and your anticipated impact, assess the best environment to deliver it, based on the person to whom you’re delivering the message.

2. Character/Trust

Knowing the character of the person with whom you’re conversing will determine the depth of information you’ll be willing to share. If trust is not a factor, you’ll be more likely to disclose more insights.

If you know you’ll be in a future situation with someone whose trust has not been vetted, or someone whose trust you question, before giving them the ‘inside story’, give them tidbits of information and see what they do with it. You can accomplish this with multiple people by giving each a slightly different version of the same information, stated as a secret that they shouldn’t share; then, see what version comes back to you through other sources. The originator’s signature will be embedded in the version that comes back. Therein will lie an assessing barometer that indicates the degree of trust you can associate with that person.

3. Mood

A person’s mood can change at any moment. That change influences their perception of information.

To enhance your communications, deliver messages based on the mood of the recipient and how your message ties into that mood. If need be, alter their mood before making your delivery.

As an example, if you have to deliver bad news, avoid times when the receiver is in a depressed state. Do this, unless you’re offering insights that you want him to address that’ll enhance his state of mind. To the degree you control the delivery of information, you control the state of mind you’ll put someone into.

4. Objective

When it comes to parsing information, always consider your objective and outcome sought before doing so. If the mood, character of the person, or environment is not right for the delivery, abstain from doing so. Rushing forward at inopportune times can severely detract from the message and your objective of delivering it. In some cases, you may want to give a snippet of information as a ‘coming attraction’. That’s one way to set the stage for what’s to follow.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, the factors that determine the impact of an offer/counteroffer are determined by the factors mentioned above. If the mood is one of hostility, there may not be the degree of acceptance to an offer then if the mood was more upbeat and open. If there’s trust in the character of the person you’re engaged with, you’ll extend more trust when such is the pivotal point upon which a negotiation may hinge.

In order to engage in more successful negotiations, you should tend to the factors above. They’ll enhance your negotiation efforts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #rejection #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Communication