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There’s No Shame in Ignorance

“There’s no shame in being ignorant. The shame comes from not dispelling it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body language Expert

“Alexa, who is Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert? Sorry, I don’t know that” was Alexa’s reply.

Do you think Alexa felt shame about not knowing the answer to that question – it didn’t? Alexa is artificial intelligence. It’s programmed to acquire knowledge. You’re like that too. You acquire knowledge and that reduces your ignorance. There should be no shame associated with engaging in that process.

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. Everyone is ignorant of many things. So, why do people become shamed by it? This article explores that. And it abates the uneasiness that partners with ignorance.

The Stigma of Ignorance:

Sometimes, there’s a self-degrading stigma attached to ignorance. It generates embarrassment within the person possessing it. Don’t allow that to happen to you. And don’t allow others to weaponize ignorance against you. Understand your uniqueness. Use that as a shield. Then, if you want to become more knowledgeable about a subject, do so because it’s your desire. Don’t let others control you through their ignorance of who you are.

Self-Esteem:

Your self-esteem may come into question when asked for wisdom on a topic you don’t know. Momentary fear may kick in, depending on the circumstances. That dilemma can cause you angst.

If you’re stupefied by a question, alter your self-perspective. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just don’t know. If the subject matter is important, you can acquire knowledge. Don’t let it mentally debilitate you.

Fear of Unknown:

Do you fear not knowing the answers to questions simply because you don’t know what’s being sought? There are times when you become mentally constipated because of what you believe others think of you. Note when that happens. Allay your emotions by thinking that no one knows everything – there are things the person posing questions don’t know. Plus, you give your mental power to others when you allow them to control your self-perception.

Perception of Peers:

You may become daunted by ignorance when considering what friends and associates think of you because you lack knowledge in a certain area. If they’re ‘real friends’, you should be able to express your ignorance without fear of the negative perception of rejection. If that’s a concern, you can always push-back by saying, please reduce my ignorance or reveal your own. No one can make you feel ignorant. Only you have that power. Since you control it, control its perception.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, ignorance can open the door to fear. And fear can throw your negotiation off kilter. By planning extensively for an upcoming negotiation, you can reduce fear – do so by reducing unknown aspects that might cause it to occur. That means, during the planning process, consider as many variables as possible. Plan for them and have strategies ready to deal with situations that might threaten your negotiation position. Being prepared will disperse fears of where you might unwantedly venture into the negotiation. You will also cast the demon of ignorance into the dungeons of anonymity … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #shame #ignorance #ignorant #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

What Scares You?

“Sometimes, your imagination scares you. To assess your fears, check your unchecked thoughts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“… The thought of that scared me. My focus was on what others would think if I failed.” An executive manager of a major international corporation spoke those words. I suggested that he shift his paradigm from thinking about failure, and what others would think, to one more positive.

Have you ever considered what scares you? While you might be frightened of some things, they may be the doorway that leads to greater opportunities. There are things that you should shy away from. Therefore, I’m not suggesting you go head-first into everything that scares you. Instead, reflect on the benefits that might reside within your fears.

Consider the following thoughts when assessing how, whether, and when you should embrace things that frightened you.

Identify what scares you:

Before you can address your fears, you must identify them. You should also identify why you’re lending legitimacy to them. In identifying them, note their origins. Do they stem for a hurt you experienced in the not too distant past, or do they stem from some further hidden source? The better you are at identifying the source of what scares you, the better you’ll be at assembling a plan to deal with those fears.

Assessment:

While assessing the source of your fears, assess if it’s something that you should rightfully be afraid of. Fear can serve as a warning. Thus, there are some things that you should avoid. In your assessment, label what’s real and what’s imagined when it comes to what scares you.

Imagination:

When we were kids, we dealt with things that frightened us by using imaginary forces. We even created imaginary friends. The point is, we used our mind to help us live in the reality we wanted for ourselves. We can still use our mind for that purpose. When confronting what scares you, imagine what will happen when you overcome your fear by addressing the thing that scares you. Imagine you’re receiving accolades for doing so. Now, how does that make you feel? It should make you feel good. After all, you’re only imagining it, which means, you’re in complete control … as you are always.

You can find motivation from the above thoughts and allow them to move you to action. Or, you can choose not to address your fears. But If you’re serious about achieving greater success in life, you must commit to challenging the things that jeopardize that success, that which scares you. After making that commitment, your life will instantly be on a straighter road to success … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

When negotiating, the fears of adopting one position versus another may cause you angst. But if you’ve considered the unexpected offers that might occur beforehand you will have planned on how to address them. That should allay your fear.

Nevertheless, if you’re caught by a scary situation, don’t show it through any body language and/or nonverbal signals (e.g. mouth agape, widened eyes). You don’t want the other negotiator to sense his momentary advantage. Instead, go into quandary body language display mode (e.g. hand on chin head cocked to one side, or chin resting in hand and on side of face). This action will give you time to think, while the other negotiator wonders what you’re thinking about. If you display a cunning smile while doing so, you may evoke fear in him.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Fear #scare #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Do You Know What Really Makes You Happy?

“Happiness is your state of mind that only exists when you think it does.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

One day you’re up. The next day you’re down, and so the yo-yo goes. Maybe the ups and downs are not daily, but it occurs to a degree in everyone’s life. Do you know the frequency of your ups and downs? Do you know what really makes you happy?

There’s a reason you should take account of your happiness quotient. It’s the doorway to accomplishing greater achievements. It’s also the doorway that leads to the perception of you leading a better life.

Consider the following insights to note your degree of happiness, what sparks it, and what might cause it to decline.

Self-Psychology:

Know the triggers that lead to happiness and unhappiness. Those two boundaries will be your guardrails that trip your inner silent alarm. Even if you encounter an abundance of happiness, sensitize yourself to how it occurred. You can use those stimuli to acquire greater happiness. That will serve as a motivator to spur you to higher heights. The point is, know what motivates you to stride forward faster and you’ll be more aware of how to do so.

Happiness:

Everyone has a slightly different definition of happiness. To understand the impact that happiness has on you, define what it means to you. Not doing so subjects you to the whims of life’s occurrences. You’ll relinquish control to those dictates and they, not you, will determine when you’re happy and when you’re not.

Unhappiness:

In my writings, presentations, and trainings, I’ve suggested to people worldwide that they note what makes them unhappy. Some have responded by saying, “why would I focus on negativity – that’ll only serve to make me unhappier”. Think about that for a moment. If you didn’t know what a hot stove felt like, you’d be more likely to touch it and get burned. How many times would you want that to occur? The point is, yin and yang are the boundaries of happiness. And unhappiness is the yin in that equation. The more you’re aware of what makes you unhappy, the more clarity you’ll have about how to avoid it.

Friends:

There are some things that we’re more passionate about than others; longtime friends can fall into that category. While some longtime friends can provide a form of happiness, you should be aware of the impact they have on other aspects of your life. In some cases, their views and opinions may no longer support the goals you’re seeking to achieve. If that’s the case, know the value that they add to your happiness quotient. You don’t have to discard them, just appreciate them for the value they add to your life from a different perspective.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

The degree of happiness you experience when negotiating will impact your degree of engagement. Happiness is an unseen ally that’ll allow you to think more clearly from which greater ideas will flow. It will also serve as the tool that unlocks your ability to make better offers and counteroffers.

The more you’re aware of what ignites your degrees of happiness when you’re negotiating and how to temper unhappiness, the better you’ll be when negotiating … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Happy#Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Do You Know When You Are On A Strong Peak?

 “Never view yourself as having peaked in life. There’ll always be other peaks to take you to higher points.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Athletes know it, do you? Do You know when you are on a strong peak? A strong peak is different than a molehill. It’s when you are really at your best. It’s also important to distinguish when you’re at that point because to get there again, you must know how you achieved it.

Throughout our life, we peak and then we rest. During times of rest other occurrences beckon for our attention. Sometimes, instead of answering the call, we revel in our accomplishments and rightfully so. That’s not a bad thing. Because, during our respite, we re-energize ourselves, which prepares us for the conquering of our next summit.

It’s very important to note how we engage in the ups and downs that occur in our life. There are lessons of growth contained in those situations. One thing to remember is, when you’re down, you must get up. There’s always another peak waiting for you to conquer. When you’re up, know that it’s temporary. There will be higher peaks to reach.

The more you can use your mind to continuously strive to go higher in life, the higher you’ll go. Even when there appears to be a limit on your upward mobility, view it as being temporary. Until you die, you’ll always have the power to climb higher. Be you infirm, afflicted, or ridden by the doubt of self-disappointment, if you wish it to be and work hard enough to bring it to fruition, you can always climb to a higher point. Leap if you must from one peak to the other, that’s okay too. You’ll be seeking what awaits you at a higher level. Thus, dread not when you’re not at your strongest. Fear not when you’re encompassed by weakness. When you’re down, if you don’t give up, you’ll be able to climb up, up to higher heights … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

You’ll go through many mental peaks and valleys in a negotiation. When you sense you’re at a peak, note the offers, counteroffers, and strategies that served as your deliverer.

In every negotiation, you should be aware of where you and the other negotiator are mentally. Body language and other nonverbal signals will allow you to glean some insights (e.g. lack of sharpness, the way offers are viewed per what’s said, pondering too long, etc.). The point is, if you’re not alert, that might be an indicator that you’re not at a strong peak in the negotiation. Take heed of such positions. You’re more likely to make mistakes; the same is true of the other negotiator. There’s the opportunity for you to climb to a higher peak if the latter is true. But you’ll miss it if you don’t recognize the opportunity for the value it contains (i.e. knowing when you’re on a strong peak). Pay attention to such opportunities and greater rewards will await you at higher peaks.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Peak #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Do You Hear What I’m Thinking?

“Delivered succinctly, your thoughts are accurately conveyed. Delivered unsuccinctly, and your message can get lost in a morass of confusion”. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

How many times do you catch yourself not saying exactly what you’re thinking? You say one thing and the meaning becomes altered by what you emit. Okay, did you catch that? The intent was to state, … by what you omit. Such nuances can leave the receiver of your message confused about its intent. We omit complete thoughts at times because we’re not focused on what we say or write.

The following are two points to consider before communicating with others. They’ll help you communicate more effectively.

Know your environments.

Some people get tongue-tied due to their environment. They experience self-pressure because they want to perform better. That’s usually due to how they think they’ll be perceived versus how they wish it to be. Recognize that something is occurring that makes you feel unsafe in those environments. It may stem from the people in it or the environment itself (i.e. glitzy, downtrodden, etc.).

Prior to your entry, identify how you want to convey your thoughts, what might prevent you from doing so, and what you’ll do to become unstuck if that occurs. Having plans in place to move from one mental environment to another will allow you the mental dexterity to place your mind at ease and focus on the message you want to deliver.

Know your mental peaks.

Everyone has times in the day when they’re more mentally alert. Do you know yours? More importantly, do you know what times are best for the important communications that you’ll have?

When you’re at the ‘top of your game’ note how you got there. Is it something someone says that ignites it? Was it the exercise regimen you engaged in. Was it due to a lack of fatigue? Knowing the answers to these questions and others will allow you to identify when you’ll most likely be at your mental peak. When possible, choose those times to engage in more important communications.

When you communicate, whether in writing or verbal, there’ll be times when you don’t communicate succinctly. The better you become at identifying those times, the more alert you’ll be about their occurrence. That mindfulness should allow you to prepare better for the encounter, which should allow you to communicate better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Every negotiation involves communications. It’s in the form of what you say and how you say it. Thus, as offers and counteroffers are exchanged, the words used to convey their sentiment impacts the perception of the offer. Therefore, if you don’t represent your thoughts appropriately, you’ll decrease the chance of communicating effectively. That can lead to a hellish negotiation.

In every negotiation, plan what you’ll say and the body language you’ll use when imparting your message (e.g. moving closer when offers are appealing – away when they’re not, hand supporting chin to reflect contemplation, hands pushing away to signal disdain for the offer, etc.). The more aligned your body language is with your message, the more your message will appear believable. Even if your full thought isn’t conveyed, the body language that accompanies it will add an extra dimension to the message.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Communication #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Do You Really Want to Get Better?

“Better is, as better is defined. If you want to get better, first define it, then engage it. Learn from it. Then, repeat the process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really want to get better? If so, why? If not, why not? Seriously, some people are happy and satisfied with their station in life. They seek to avoid the challenges, tests, and ultimatums that life places before them. So, they sheepishly slink into the confines of what they perceive to be life’s sanctuaries. Thus, they don’t seek higher stations. Hopefully, that’s not you.

Here’s the point, and I don’t mean to be harsh. If you’re not growing in life, you’re dying. You may already be dead, just waiting for a place to happen. Don’t let that be you! As I state to a dear friend of mine in Australia, keep rising.

Plateau:

Some people plateau in life. They don’t realize when it occurs because they’re too busy living life. They drift on the melodies of life, seduced by its melodic tones. Meanwhile, life changes, be it through technology, relationships, etc., and some don’t note it. They run the risk of falling behind because they’re not staying abreast of the times that change brings. Don’t let that happen to you! Change with the times.

Define it:

To get better, you must know what better means. That means, you must define what it means to get better. While you can seek input from others, in the end, you must live the life you choose. Therefore, be mindful when accepting input. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

Perception:

Okay, you tried to reach a higher point in life, and you failed. First, you didn’t fail. You learned valuable lessons. What were those lessons? If for no other reason, learn from them, so you don’t repeat the worst of them.

Your perception of any aspect determines how you’ll feel about it. If you assign dread to it, you’ll be less likely to engage in it again. That should warrant your attention. Because, if something was calamitous, you can decide to avoid it. Or, you can enhance it by learning from it. The point is, you’ll make that decision anyway. Be aware when it occurs. You’ll be setting your life’s direction.

Once you define what better means and create procedures to achieve your goals, you’ll increase your chances of becoming better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

A negotiation is the exchange of thoughts to increase one’s value. Most of the time, that exchange occurs between different entities. But, in all cases, the negotiation process begins with you and your thoughts.

The better you can define what you want from a negotiation, the greater the chance you’ll have of achieving it. Thus, a lack of attention to your thoughts can leave you in a worse place than before the negotiation. I’m sure you would not define that as getting better.

Remember, always note the negotiation you have with yourself. By doing so, you’ll discover what’s important. That alone will put you on a better road to you getting better.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Better #Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Are You Afraid of Losing to Progress?

“If you fear losing what you’ve gained, you’ve already lost it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When you think of progress, do you become afraid? Do you even consider what progress is and what it means to you? Progress will occur whether you’re afraid of it, don’t consider it, or choose to let it pass you by. It’s the one thing that’s constant in life. So, if you want to evolve in the ever-evolving environment that you’re in, you can do that by considering the following.

1. Define what progress means to you and why it has that meaning; you should realize that your definition will change over time. Recognize when those changes occur and what brought them about. Then, use markers to identify and measure how close you are to a goal. Make readjustments when they’re required. If you become apprehensive about making them or you do nothing to address them, consider whether you’re afraid of losing to progress. You may have a mental barrier that’s holding you back.

2. Ask yourself, when did you most aggressively seek progress? Why did you seek it? Other questions to ask are:

  • What changed in your life to cause you to seek progress?
  • How did you feel while you were going through what promoted the need for change, for progress?
  • What has change done for you?

3. What do you fear the most about progress? Is it change itself that causes angst? Other questions to ask are:

  • Are you fearful of leaving those you’ve known behind?
  • Are you concerned about where progress might lead you?
  • Will you regret not following the path of progress later in your life? If so, what does that thought do to you? How do you feel about it?
  • What has frustrated you the most about progress?

When you won’t move forward to embrace a goal, especially if it’s one that’s important to you, something’s holding you back. If you explore all realms of possibilities and you still can’t identify the silent hand that’s gripping you, you might be afraid of losing to progress. To test the theory, ask yourself the questions above. You’ll find answers to your dilemma in those questions. When all else fails let that be the last thought that you tackle. If fear is the culprit and you successfully combat it, you’ll slay that gobbling … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Fear prevents some negotiators from being more aggressive. Because of that, they’ll lack the drive to obtain more in a negotiation. While you should exercise caution in a negotiation, caution based on fear can be self-demeaning.

If you fear progress, due to the gains you’ve acquired in a negotiation, assess the mindset that’s motivating you. There are times when leaving too much on the negotiation table is just as bad as attempting to gain too much. In either case, you can appear to be inept. When you display that type of demeanor it can be the setup that signals the other negotiator to be more aggressive with you. That could also be what signals him to push you harder by seeking more concessions. And, that’s a position you don’t want to be in.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Losing #Fear #Progress, Afraid #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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After That, Then What?

“Action without thought is like a squirrel driving a car. It’s nonsensical.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Why did you do that? Were you aware of what you were doing? Those may be the questions that others ask you when you’ve engaged in senseless behavior. Most of the time the answer to the questions are, I don’t know; I guess I wasn’t thinking. To avoid senseless behavior ask yourself, after that, then what.

Thinking ahead:

Before you engage in activities, do you think of the consequences that might occur as the result of those actions? Most people are aware that there’s a reaction for every action. Some people forget that truism. And, sometimes forgetting it leads to unexpected circumstances. Don’t let that happen to you. Before engaging in a deed, to be more aware of what might happen after it, during the decision-making process, ask yourself, after that, then what.

Understanding your mindset:

At different stages of the day, your decision-making process shifts. That’s because, as things happen throughout the day, the accumulation of the day’s activities causes you to alter your perspective. As an example, if someone has angered or vehemently challenged you about a point, you’ll be more likely to refudiate someone else that attempts to convey the same sentiment. Thus, you should always be aware of the mindset you possess when making decisions and what has occurred to influence your thoughts.

Timing:

When considering, after that, then what, be thoughtful about the timing of your decisions. Sometimes, you’ll have the power to bring your decision to fruition at that moment, other times you won’t. Thus, depending on the importance of the decision, it may behoove you to delay its implementation until a more favorable time.

Remember, decisions have two spectrums, haste makes waste and, he who waits too long loses opportunities. Thus, it may befit you to balance those spectrums on the pendulum of time.

If you want to avoid taking two steps forward and one step back in your life, before engaging in a decision, make sure you engage in, after that, then what thinking. Your decision will lead to an action. That action will lead in one direction versus another. If you don’t want to find yourself in a desolate place tomorrow, be more aware of the decisions you make today … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Sometimes, offers and counteroffers flow quickly during a negotiation. Quick responses can lead to unwanted positions and disadvantage your standing. To sustain your negotiation efforts and enhance your chances of having a winning outcome, be mindful of where every concession and offer may lead. If you’re astute, you can use the, ‘answering a question with a question’ tactic to gain information (e.g. what do you mean? what do you think I mean?). That’s also a tactic you can employ to slow the other negotiator’s attacks when he’s bombarding you with questions. To insulate yourself even more from his bombarding, ask yourself, after that, then what.

Suffice it to say, when you’re in the heat of a negotiation, the way to ensure that you don’t act too hastily is to always ask, after that, then what. Doing that will lessen the chances of you wandering into a negotiation minefield. It will also allow you to maintain greater control of the other negotiator, yourself, and the negotiation.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Mind #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Who’s Blocking Your Sun?

“When your sun is being blocked, move.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Life is going along nicely for you and then something happens. The sun that has been brightening and serving as a source of warmth in your life is suddenly gone. It’s then that you wonder, who’s blocking your sun.

The blocking of your sun is a metaphor for anything or anyone that disturbs the calm, the flow of success, or state of near bliss that you’re experiencing. Disruption occurs in everyone’s life. It’s what you do during such times that will determine what occurs next in your life.

So, what do you do when someone disrupts your life, block your sun? At what point do you begin to create strategies to alleviate the growing concern about needing to change the direction of your life?

Here are a few signs that might alert you to a coming eclipse, the blocking of your sun.

  • Your life appears to be perfect, or at least as perfect as it has been for some time. You begin to think, “I know what comes next. Things are too good. Bad times must be ahead.”
  • “I can’t believe I just got that promotion, that raise, that client! These are fantastic times. I’d better enjoy this while it last. Before long, I’ll be back in the hunt for the joy I’m experiencing.”
  • How about this one – “I can’t believe things aren’t getting better. How much longer can I stand this?”

In every situation above, your thoughts led to the perception that things were going to change. Even when you question how long a bad situation was going to last, your thoughts were exploring the possibility of calamitous times ahead.

Here’s the point. Your thoughts lead to your actions. Thus, what you focus on becomes the driving force that determines the direction you’ll take in your life. So, if you focus on negative occurrences, you shouldn’t be surprised when negative things occur in your life. After all, you’re the one that summoned them.

When you’re unsure of an outcome, focus on the positive aspect. Since you don’t know what that outcome might be, focusing on the possibility of it being positive will relieve the degree of stress that might occur from focusing on the negative aspect of it. Sure, you should consider the possibility of a negative outcome. Prepare for it but don’t dwell on it. Once you’ve prepared a plan, move on. Let your mind rest in peace knowing that you’re ready for what might come your way.

Someone or something will always attempt to block your sun. But you don’t have to support the effort. Keep a strong mind with a strong mental disposition and even when the clouds start to gather, you’ll have the mental fortitude to turn those gray skies to blue. You’ll prevent your sun from being blocked … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Unanticipated challenges occur in every negotiation. When that happens, don’t fret. Even if you’ve prepared for the unexpected and the unexpected occurs, don’t fret. Worst-case scenario, call a time out; get away from the negotiation table. There’s a lesson to learn. That lesson will be of benefit in the future. By adopting that mindset, you should be able to allay your emotional state of mind. That should lead you back to a more rational thought process. In so doing, it will lead you to a path of clearer thinking.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Block #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You Being Manipulated?

“Manipulation is a means to an end. If you don’t like what may lie at that end, control the means.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Everyone’s manipulated. Are you aware when it happens to you? If you know when it’s occurring, how does it feel? Sometimes, when people knowingly allow others to manipulate them, their mind becomes susceptible to being tranquil. Without knowing it, they become more vulnerable to manipulation. Are you aware when you’re in such a state?

“She said she was waiting for me. So, I sped up and a cop stopped me for speeding. When I arrived at the meeting location, I discovered she wasn’t there. She wanted me to think she’d arrived. I realized she’d manipulated me. The cost of that manipulation could have been a speeding ticket had the officer given me one; fortunately, he let me go with a warning.” Those were the solemn words of an account manager to his business associates about how he’d been manipulated.

Every day of your life, you’re manipulated. To control the degree that you’re manipulated, take note …

The degree of manipulation:

The more desperate someone becomes to reach a goal, the more irrational their efforts may appear to obtain it. Note the ratcheting degree of their efforts. Heightened attempts to manipulate you may occur during such times. If someone appears to border on irrationality, intensify your sense of awareness. It’s also the time that you might be most vulnerable to being manipulated, due to a proposal appearing too good to be true. Raise your guard higher and be mindful of your thought process during such times to ward off manipulative tactics.

Understand the intent of manipulation:

There are different forms of manipulation. Thus, the word ‘manipulate’ does not necessarily have to convey a negative sentiment. There are good forms of manipulation (e.g. keeping you from harm’s way). Thus, you should assess if the attempt to manipulate you is for your betterment or detriment.

If attempts to improve your plight are made through disguised means, you should be aware of such tactics even though they’re not as potentially damaging as those that might be applied for nefarious purposes. The point is, someone is still attempting to manipulate you, which means they’re trying to control you. For better or worse, you should always maintain control of yourself. Even if you wish to relinquish control, you’re the one in control of that decision.

The greater your understanding of someone’s manipulation intent, the more understanding you’ll possess about the efforts and where such is attempting to lead you. If you don’t wish to go there, don’t allow the manipulation to continue.

Someone attempts to manipulate you every day. You can control their efforts by controlling yourself. Once you do, you’ll exert greater control over your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

Manipulation occurs in every negotiation. You and the opposing negotiator engage in it to alter the other’s perspective. The more insight you have about his goal for the negotiation and the strategies he might employ to obtain it, the greater insight you’ll have about the manipulative tactics he’ll employ to reach it. That will give you a mental form of protection, which should allow you to be more understanding of how to control his efforts. In so doing, keep your emotions in check. That’ll lead you to even greater control of the negotiation. To control your emotions, remember, you’re attempting to do the same thing to him that he’s attempting to do to you.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Manipulation #Success #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #liars #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions