“Life’s value-add is perceptional. Manage your expectations to better assess the sources from which value can be attracted to your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
Are the relationships you’re in adding or subtracting value from your life? It’s a serious question to ponder and one to reassess daily.
Too many times we wake up one morning and realize that we’re no longer living the ideal life we seek. Depending on the severity of that realization, we go into a state of panic, brought on by thoughts of uneasiness. You know when things aren’t right in your life! It’s usually a terse feeling that emanates from your gut that delivers the message. Then, you may appear to be erratic to those who know you, which may cause them to reevaluate the value you’re bringing to their life. That can set off a vicious cycle fraught with angst and anxiety. The question then becomes, what’s a person to do to maintain some sense of equilibrium in their life? The answer lies in the relationships you have with others.
If you find yourself in toxic relationships, at work, at home, etc., change them! Seek to alter the dynamics of the relationships that drag you down emotionally and/or physically. It may be difficult to do but consider the cost of your sanity, your wellbeing. Weigh the cost of that against the difficulty that change might require.
When engaging with people, consider the value you add to their life and they to yours. Some people will be with you for life (long-term) others for a season (short-term). Accept this mentally, understand it and don’t allow it to become a conundrum when it’s time to move on. Don’t get wrapped up thinking that you have to stay with people due to the time you’ve known them; such thoughts will make you sentimental, which will jade your emotions and thought process about moving on. There are others that want to add value to your life, but you won’t find them holding on to those that don’t.
When you know you’re in short-term environments, treat those in it as though they may become long-term associates. Doing so may turn them into long-term allies, but don’t become fixated on the thought that they’ll be with you through thick and thin. Having such a mindset will allow moving on to be less jerky. If someone stays in your life longer than what had been anticipated, because they were adding value, be thankful. You’ve been blessed … and everything will be right with the world.
What does this have to do with negotiations?
With some people, a negotiation may be transactional, not intended to be of long-term value. That’s okay. Knowing the parameters of this type of relationship allows you to be better positioned to engage in the negotiation. After all, when you negotiate, you never know who will truly fit into a long-term relationship until you examine their values. Evaluate such closely and from different perspectives. What you eventually find may not be what you initially saw, and what you initially saw may be something that you initially didn’t expect.
The point is, keep your emotions grounded in all of your relationships. Accept people for the value they add to your life, and the value you add to theirs.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/
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