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Author: Katherine Sellery

Katherine Sellery, CEO and Founder of Conscious Parenting Revolution, helps individuals minimize misunderstandings and melt-downs in order to communicate with more collaboration, cooperation, and consideration.

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

The Art of Parenting: Balancing Fear and Encouragement as Kids Journey to Adulthood

The Art of Parenting: Balancing Fear and Encouragement as Kids Journey to Adulthood Have you ever questioned if you’re treating your children fairly? The passage of time can be perplexing. The little ones you once held in your arms now stand before you, independent individuals. In the narrative of parenthood, the query arises: “Are You A Bad Parent For Treating Your Kids Differently?”

Recollections of childhood and growth are as poignant as a melody from “Fiddler on the Roof.” The musical’s lyrics echo the sentiments of parents everywhere:

“Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don’t remember growing older, When did they?”

The story of Tevye, a Jewish milkman with five daughters, encapsulates the profound transformations parenthood ushers in. As his eldest daughter walks down the aisle, Tevye and his wife croon the lyrics to a tender lullaby.

When did she grow to be a beauty? When did he grow to be so tall? Wasn’t it yesterday when they were small?

 

The journey of parenting is marked by moments of joy, anxiety, and contemplation. How do you feel as you witness your children’s evolution into adults? Do hope and excitement fill your heart, or do you find traces of fear and trepidation?

 

The Complex Dynamic: Parenting and Differential Treatment

Modern parents, faced with the inevitability of their children’s growth, often grapple with complex emotions. A study from the American Family Survey divulges that parents establish arbitrary milestones to grapple with the unease surrounding their children’s transition to adulthood, inadvertently delaying their independence.

When asked about appropriate ages for kids to engage in unsupervised activities like playing at a park or walking home alone, the response was commonly age 13. Curiously, these same parents indicated they would permit their children to pursue employment or go on dates within a mere two years of that age.

These figures point to a deeper sentiment—fear. What underlies parental hesitation? Let’s explore:

    • Fear of danger: The foremost concern for parents is the safety of their offspring, including “How to Help Children Manage Fears”. This apprehension is natural, yet confining children to an overly sheltered existence isn’t the solution.
    • Fear of the future: The unpredictability of life, as exemplified by the abrupt shifts caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, triggers anxiety. While safeguarding children’s happiness is a priority, much remains beyond parental control.
    • Fear of separation or letting go: Observing children transition to adulthood can evoke powerful emotions of solitude and insignificance. Guiding them toward autonomy, including addressing the topic of “Fear of My Kids Growing Up,” is an essential parental duty.

Navigating the Path: Overcoming Apprehensions

Acknowledging parental apprehensions is the initial step to conquering them. Confronting these fears, not only for your sake but also for your children’s, is a rewarding endeavor.

Consider these five strategies:

    • Be a beacon of positivity: Children often mirror their parents’ emotions. Demonstrating confidence and assurance sets the tone for their own feelings of security as they navigate life’s uncertainties.
    • Offer encouragement: Adolescence can be a tumultuous period. Remember your own insecurities during those years. Providing unwavering support and conveying that emotions are transient can be immensely reassuring, addressing the query of “Why do parents treat their kids differently.”
    • Honesty matters: While encouragement is vital, it must be rooted in reality. Sugarcoating life’s challenges won’t serve your child’s development. Addressing the truth, even if uncomfortable, equips them with resilience.
    • Embrace communication: Open dialogue bridges gaps. Sharing your concerns and expectations establishes mutual understanding. Finding common ground—like agreeing on safety protocols—fosters trust.
    • Presence speaks volumes: Above all, let your children know they’re never alone. Your availability, willingness to listen, and empathy create a haven for them in a world of uncertainties.

As you ponder the ever-evolving journey of parenting, remember that nurturing your children’s growth doesn’t make you a bad parent. Embrace the transformation, and guide them with wisdom, care, and love. In the intricate dance of parenting, the paradox of nurturing is unveiled. The journey, rife with anticipation and unease, necessitates a delicate balance of guidance and release. The question—Are You A Bad Parent For Treating Your Kids Differently?—gains resonance. Our fears are not indictments of our capabilities but rather echoes of our deep-rooted love. By treading these paths—being mirrors of positivity, addressing why parents treat their kids differently, embracing the Fear of My Kids Growing Up, offering genuine encouragement, fostering honesty, nurturing communication, and embodying unwavering presence—we sculpt a roadmap to traverse the terrain of parenthood. Amidst these strategies, we unearth the remarkable truth that growing up is not solely for our children; it’s a journey we, as parents, embark upon too.

Love and Blessings, Katherine

Categories
Health and Wellness Parenting Personal Development

Breaking Generational Patterns: Letting Go of Childhood Baggage

Breaking Generational Patterns: Letting Go of Childhood Baggage

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

This familiar saying captures the essence of how children often resemble their parents, inheriting behaviors, patterns, and choices across generations. The concept is simple: children observe and replicate their parents’ actions, influenced by the examples set before them.

Contemplate this for a moment. Our children absorb essential life skills from us: how to crawl, walk, eat, sleep, communicate—and ultimately, how to engage with others and navigate life’s challenges.

The weight of setting a positive example or being a role model is substantial for any parent. This pressure becomes even more profound if your own childhood was marked by struggles or difficulties (a shared experience for many). Everyone encounters obstacles rooted in their early years, and whether consciously acknowledged or not, our upbringing undeniably shapes our approach to raising the next generation.

My own journey was unveiled on the TEDxGEM stage in France. I grew up with a caring yet traditionally-minded mother who believed that children should be seen but not heard. This upbringing led me to suppress my inner voice, training me to remain silent even in moments of exploitation.

Each of us carries a narrative, complete with its own scars. However, we are tasked with the responsibility to prevent negative cycles from perpetuating with our own children. Without careful consideration, the issues stemming from your own past might manifest in your interactions with your offspring.

Whether you’re a new parent striving to cultivate a nurturing environment for your baby’s growth or a seasoned caregiver witnessing echoes of your upbringing in your relationship with your adolescent, it’s pivotal to recognize three warning signals that suggest the need for change:

1. How to Let Go of Childhood Pain: Reflect on your own childhood. Were you blessed with a joyful upbringing, where you felt supported, understood, and acknowledged by your primary caregivers? Some adults who experienced early feelings of neglect may unconsciously project their own emotions onto their children. This can lead to extreme reactions like distancing or overprotectiveness. Ask yourself: Are your responses driven by your feelings or by theirs?

2. How to Release Childhood Baggage: Certain parents withhold privileges from their children, believing it’s a necessary lesson because they were denied those very privileges while growing up. A father might say, “You’ll work each summer instead of attending camp, as that’s how I was raised to be responsible.” Yet, “tough love” isn’t always the solution. Reflect on whether you truly needed that level of severity from your parents. What if they had provided more empathy and support instead?

3. Let go of emotional baggage: It’s only natural for parents to shield their children from repeating their own errors. However, parenting driven by the fear that your children might rebel can inadvertently convey a lack of trust or even label them as “bad” kids. An alternative, healthier approach is empowering self-guidance. Value your children’s opinions and viewpoints. Demonstrate that they can openly discuss anything with you, assuring them of your unconditional love.

Confronting your own childhood experiences is no simple feat, but it’s the sole means to crafting a brighter future. When we mend past wounds, we free our children (and ourselves) from generational cycles, establishing a foundation for healthier parent-child relationships. Regardless of where you stand in your parenting journey, you can initiate the process of releasing childhood baggage, paving the way for a fresh start for your children.

Feeling prepared to address your past and enhance your bond with your child? Reach out to me, and together, we’ll embark on this transformative journey.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Best Practices Culture Parenting

Dear Katherine: My two girls are in competition over everything!

Hello, Conscious Parents! Welcome to “Dear Katherine,” a Q&A with real-life parents/caregivers. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com.

Dear Katherine,

Two young sisters, aged 8 and 11, seem to be in constant competition, and their parent, “Looking for Peace of Mind,” is concerned about how to handle competitive siblings and why kids are competitive with siblings. They contend over everything, from the size of the pie slices to finishing homework fastest and even who gets to take a shower first. “Looking for Peace of Mind” recognizes that sibling rivalry is a normal phenomenon, but she is eager to find ways to handle sibling rivalry and reduce competition between siblings. Can you offer some guidance on how to reduce competition between siblings and how to handle sibling rivalry?

— Seeking Solutions for Sibling Rivalry

Dear Seeking Solutions for Sibling Rivalry,

The challenge you’re facing is a familiar one for many parents. Sibling rivalry has been a part of family dynamics throughout history, and it remains prevalent today. While the competition your daughters engage in is not as dramatic as the biblical tale of Joseph and his brothers, the underlying reasons are similar—they both desire parental attention and recognition.

To reduce competition between your girls and handle their sibling rivalry, it’s crucial to act as a mediator, impartially listening to their perspectives and helping them communicate effectively. Avoid taking sides, as it can exacerbate the situation, leaving one child feeling misunderstood or unimportant. Instead, strive to interact with them on equal footing, demonstrating effective communication and modeling the behavior you wish to see in them.

As parents, showing equal love and support to our children is essential, though it may be challenging to balance interactions according to their unique personalities and needs. Each child is different, and acknowledging and celebrating their individuality can foster a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of favoritism.

Encourage your daughters to pursue their distinct interests and talents. By celebrating their uniqueness, you affirm their contributions to the family and instill confidence in their abilities.

When disagreements arise, allow them the space to calm down before facilitating a discussion. Encourage open and loving communication, helping them express their feelings and understand each other’s perspectives. Is one sister hurt because the other didn’t want to share a favorite toy? Does the younger one feel insecure when seeing her older sibling do things without supervision? Teaching your daughters loving and open communication will foster a better mutual understanding and reduce competition between them.

Amidst the busyness of life, create moments for bonding with your children. Even dedicating just 15 minutes to cuddling or reading a bedtime story will do wonders for your relationship with your children —and their relationship with each other.

Fostering a supportive and empathetic environment will enable your daughters to navigate their differences and build a stronger sibling relationship. With patience, understanding, and effective communication, you can reduce competition between siblings and handle sibling rivalry, bringing more peace to your home.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful in creating a more harmonious family atmosphere.

Love and blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Advice Best Practices

How to Safely Give Your Child More Independence!

Happy Independence Day to my American friends! We celebrated our nation’s birthday this past Tuesday, July 4th, commemorating the United States becoming independent from England.

This festive holiday is associated with summer, family and friends coming together, barbecues, and fireworks—all to commemorate the day our country was born.

As we celebrate our country’s independence, let’s not forget that as individuals, we have the same right to our autonomy. Many parents often ask me, “How much independence should I give my kids?”. As parents, it’s our duty to encourage and develop a sense of autonomy in our children.

So, in the spirit of the holiday. . . here are a few ways to give your children more independence.

. . . hug your kid a little tighter today and tell them you’re thankful for exactly who they are.

. . . let them know you value their thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and that you admire their ability to self-direct.

. . . reassure them that even though they drive you up the wall sometimes, they’re never “bad kids” for speaking and living their authentic truth.

Whether you celebrate this holiday or not, I want to wish you a Happy Independence Day!

May we model the freedom, respect, and equality that every human being—including our children—deserves!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Skills Women In Business

Formidable Woman’s Mag

I cannot thank Formidable Woman Magazine enough for allowing me to not only speak about my new series: Conscious Parenting. Is Parenting the New Generation Hard? BUT for also honoring me with the cover of their issue! I am so grateful for this opportunity and platform to reach parents and care givers in need of a new perspective.

If you are interested in getting involved in being part of a solution for uplifting all families, I would love to speak with you! Any brand who wants to be aligned with this message will be our partners. I’d love to help you reach more homes while you help the Conscious Parenting Revolution reach even more families longing for a change.

To find out more about this incredible investment opportunity, read my full article here

For our deck and TV sponsorship opportunities contact Calvin at media@katherinesellery.com.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Advice Parenting Skills

Supporting Your Child’s Journey

Dear Parents,

At Conscious Parenting Revolution, we are dedicated allies of the LGTBQIA2S+ community and committed to supporting parents through the journey of raising children. As parents, we understand that guiding our children through various changes can be a challenging task, particularly when it comes to transitions and transformations that we may not have personally experienced. Parenting during the teenage years can evoke a range of emotions— pride and worry, joy and frustration. This phase of life can be equally demanding for parents as it is for their children.

The parent-child relationship undergoes a fundamental shift as our children embark on the journey to young adulthood. Witnessing this transformation is rewarding, but it also requires us to adapt our parenting style. We need to transition from being mere managers to becoming trusted consultants.

The Transformation From Childhood to Youth

Many parents fear that they may lose their connection with their children during the challenging teenage years. Society often portrays teenagers as having difficult attitudes and wanting little to do with their parents, but this depiction fails to capture the whole story.

In reality, teenagers are going through a process known as individuation—a phase where they form their own independent identities. Although these changes can be normal, they may also be confusing, hurtful, and even a little scary for even the most understanding parent. Creating a safe space for our child’s individuation process becomes crucial for maintaining a happy and healthy parenting relationship. 

How to Help Young Children Transition Into Young Adults

While it may seem like our teenagers are pushing us away, the truth is that they still need us during this tumultuous phase of their lives. They face high-stakes decisions daily, from navigating peer pressure and romantic relationships to choosing their paths after graduation.

During this time, they require someone they trust to guide them through these decisions, and that someone can be us. However, here’s the catch-22: the more we try to manage their obstacles or impose our decisions, the more our teenagers will distance themselves. They need to feel independent and autonomous, and failing to acknowledge this need can lead them astray.

Transition from Childhood to Adolescence

So, how should our behavior evolve to best support our teenagers? Here are a few suggestions:

  • The Changing Transition to Adulthood :Make your home a judgment-free zone. Our children absorb cues, often unnoticed by us. Have we unintentionally conveyed that we view failing a test as a sign of weakness? If so, our teenagers will be less likely to seek our help when facing academic challenges. Let’s be mindful of how we express our feelings and opinions, ensuring that we don’t discourage open conversations.
  • The Transformation From Childhood to Youth: Spend quality time together. Engage in simple activities like running errands or sharing meals. These moments create space for open communication between us and our children. The more available we are without them having to seek us out, the more opportunities they’ll have to open up to us.
  • How to Help Young Children Transition Into Young Adults: Respect boundaries. While it’s crucial to be available for our teenagers, it’s equally important not to take it personally when they are not interested in talking. Let’s respect their need for space by refraining from prying or forcing conversations. Sometimes, what they need most is peace and quiet, and honoring that can provide them with the support they require.
  • Transition from Childhood to Adolescence: Reinforce your support. We all need reminders that the people who love us are there for us. Teenagers are no exception. Every now and then, remind your child that you are a safe person they can turn to for conversations or guidance.

Supporting our children through the transition from childhood to adolescence involves creating an environment where they feel comfortable approaching us. Taking the initiative to adjust our own behavior will help build their trust in us as reliable confidantes.

The Changing Transition to Adulthood

Evolving our parenting role from managers to consultants requires letting go. It means granting our children more autonomy to be their authentic selves, even if it means relinquishing some of our control in the process.

This journey is no small feat, and wherever you are in this process, we applaud you. Together, let’s celebrate our children and provide them with the support they need as they navigate the changing transition to adulthood.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Want to hear more? Watch my interview with Daily Flash TV where I discuss accepting your teen! Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss a thing.

Categories
Advice Negotiating Parenting

How Do You Discipline a Child That Doesn’t Listen? Tips from a Parenting Expert

As a parenting expert, one of the most common concerns that I hear from parents is how to discipline their children when they don’t listen. It can be frustrating and overwhelming to feel like you’re losing control, especially when you’ve tried different methods to get your child to follow your instructions. However, it’s important to recognize that controlling our children’s behavior isn’t the answer. Instead, we need to approach discipline with consideration and understanding of our children’s needs and capacities and skills for managing their emotions and responses.

Here are some tips on how to manage when your child doesn’t listen to what you say:

  • Have a solution-focused mindset: When approaching a meltdown, is there a specific time of day when your child is falling apart? Are they tired? Hungry? Need some closeness? you can begin to see positive changes in your child’s behavior when you support them to meet their needs and develop skills to regulate their emotions.
  • Address underlying issues: Sometimes, a child’s behavior is related to an underlying issue such as ADHD. If you suspect that your child may have ADHD, consult a healthcare professional for guidance.
  • Identify the root cause of “disrespectful” behavior: It’s important to address the underlying causes: Is your child feeling neglected or ignored? Are they struggling with a difficult situation at school? By addressing the root cause of their behavior, you can help your child develop better problem-solving skills and improve their behavior. To keep your own feelings in balance avoid thinking judgmentally and stay curious.
  • Approach the situation calmly: Yelling and losing your temper will only undermine your child’s self-confidence and lead to further behavior issues. Take a deep breath, apply the oxygen mask to you first, and approach the situation calmly and assertively when you’re ready.
  • Be flexible with your approach: Be open to trying new methods and approaches to see what works best for your child. Guidance approach to discipline is about supporting your kids to be the masters of their emotions and for them to learn how to be present to the outer voices in their world and speak up assertively for any conflicts occuring inside them so that they can meet their needs too.

Remember, disciplining your child is not about controlling their behavior, but about finding a balance between their desires and your expectations. Healthy and positive ways to discipline your child include setting clear expectations, catching them doing it right and acknowledging, highlighting and verifying that, and modeling the behavior you want to see. By approaching discipline with consideration and understanding, you can create a more positive and close relationship with your child.

So, are you struggling with a child who doesn’t listen to you? It can be frustrating for any parent, but there are ways to discipline your child without resorting to harsh punishment. The first step is to identify what works and what doesn’t. Observe your child’s behavior and see if there is a particular time of day when they are more receptive to problem solving. The rule of thumb is to listen to their side when they are resistant to your directions. Listening to them doesn’t mean you agree with their perspective, but, ignoring their perspective and repeating your own is guaranteed not to work.

It’s also important to keep in mind that some children may have underlying issues, such as ADHD, or an irritation in their nervous systems from an allergy to gluten or red dye or sugar or dairy, inflammation too can make it difficult for them to focus, think clearly, and follow instructions. If you suspect that your child may have an underlying condition, seek the advice of a healthcare professional who can provide proper diagnosis and treatment. Getting a neuropsych evaluation is always helpful!

When your child is being “disrespectful” it’s important to identify the root cause of their behavior and address it directly. Are they feeling neglected or ignored? Are they struggling with a difficult situation at school? By addressing the underlying cause of their behavior, you can help your child develop better problem-solving skills and that gives rise to feeling better and will improve their overall behavior.

Losing your temper and yelling at your child may seem like the only way to get their attention, but this can damage their self-esteem and lead to more behavioral problems. Not to mention, it can result in you feeling yucky about you! Instead, be assertive about meeting your needs and approach the situation with a clear mind.

Remember that discipline is not a one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one child may not work for another, so be open to trying new approaches. Healthy and positive ways to discipline your child include setting clear expectations, providing acknowledgement, and modeling good behavior. Setting clear expectations helps your child understand what is expected of them and encourages them to meet those expectations. Acknowledgment can help build your child’s self-confidence as they learn to be more aware of their own traits and capacities. Modeling good behavior sets a positive example for your child to follow.

Disciplining a child who doesn’t listen requires a solution-focused approach. By observing what works, addressing underlying issues, and utilizing healthy and positive discipline methods, you can develop a positive relationship with your child and help them become confident and well-behaved individuals.

Love and blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Looking for more weekly guidance? Join me in my private Facebook group for tips every Tuesday!

 

 

Categories
Culture Parenting Skills

Dear Katherine: My two girls are in competition over everything!

Hello, Conscious Parents! Welcome to “Dear Katherine,” a monthly Q&A with real-life parents/caregivers. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com.

Dear Katherine,

My two girls, aged 8 and 11, won’t stop fighting! It’s like they’re in competition for everything: who gets the bigger piece of pie, who can finish their homework fastest, even who gets to take a shower first! I know sibling rivalry is normal, but I just want them to stop squabbling. Can you help me?

— Looking for Peace of Mind

 

Dear Looking for Peace of Mind,

You’re definitely not alone. Siblings have always butted heads—and they probably always will. Even the Bible features a well-known story about a boy named Joseph whose 11 older brothers sold him into slavery after their father gifted him with a multicolored coat. Talk about green with envy!

The rivalry your girls are experiencing is completely normal (and thankfully less dramatic than Joseph’s), but I certainly understand your plea to stop the squabbling. First, it’s important to realize that sibling competition is rooted in a fight for parental attention. Simply put, your kids are vying to be #1 in your eyes. A lot of times we can make it worse if we pick to take one child’s side, leaving the other feeling like they weren’t understood. The key here is to be the mediator between them, helping them and listening to their side stories on an equal footing on how to interact with them and teach effective communication.

As parents and caregivers, of course, we love our children equally. The hard part is determining how to interact with them according to their unique personalities and needs. If our kids are “belongers” who don’t want to risk your disapproval, it can be easier to be with them than our autonomous kids who are so self-directed and do risk our disapproval! To the autonomous child, it can feel like you favor the other. In turn, this can make the acting out even more severe. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy—”see, you always take her side,” “see, you do love her more than me.”

How do you show your daughters that they’re special to you, each in their own way?

Celebrate uniqueness. Children need to know that they have distinctive gifts as individuals. Encourage your daughters to hone and develop their hobbies and interests. If one loves to sing and the other plays the piano, why not stage a duet? Find ways to demonstrate that their individuality contributes to a richer family life.

Teach effective communication. When a fight erupts, give your children space to calm down. Once they’re ready, bring them together to discuss what triggered the conflict. Was one sister hurt that the other didn’t want to share a favorite toy? Does the little one feel insecure seeing her older sibling do things without supervision? Teaching your daughters loving and open communication will foster a better mutual understanding so they can respond to each other with empathy, learn how to interact with them and teach effective communication and listen to their side stories.

Create moments for bonding. Life is busy, but in the midst of the chaos, kids still crave warmth and attention. And purposeful bonding is important for parents, too. Even just 15 minutes of cuddling or reading a bedtime story will do wonders for your relationship with your children—and their relationship with each other.

I hope these suggestions help bring more peace to your home. Sibling relationships can be complex, but with patience, understanding, and effective communication, your daughters can learn to navigate their differences and develop a stronger bond.

Love and Blessings,
Katherine

Categories
Advice Health and Wellness Personal Development

You are not alone- Celebrating mental health awareness month

Dear Reader,

Every year, an average of 150,000 lives are tragically lost to drug, alcohol, and suicide-related causes in America. In the midst of the pandemic last year, the number of substance-abuse deaths rose by a devastating 18%, making 2020 the “deadliest year in drug history.”

These alarming statistics highlight the fact that many individuals feel isolated and alone in their struggles. However, May brings with it a powerful reminder: it is Mental Health Awareness Month.

Throughout this month, mental health experts, psychologists, and wellness teachers unite to emphasize a crucial message – you are not alone. Despite the physical isolation, global unrest, and unimaginable loss, we stand together in solidarity.

As someone who personally experienced the heartbreaking loss of my own brother to suicide years ago, I came to realize how shared childhood experiences and patterns often lead us to suppress our emotions and needs. Tragically, unmet needs can manifest in devastating ways. It was during that unimaginably painful period that my commitment to conscious parenting and mental health advocacy began to take shape.

Our society needs more than just awareness of mental illness; it requires a proactive approach to promoting mental wellness. We must equip ourselves with tools and strategies for effective and compassionate communication, managing emotions, and navigating distressing situations.

In the spirit of promoting mental well-being, I would like to share three simple hacks that can help you feel less anxious, more centered, and clear-headed:

  1. Draw Figure 8s: Using your index and middle finger, trace a figure 8 pattern around your eyes. Apply different pressures to instantly integrate the right and left brain, bringing a sense of balance and harmony.
  2. Practice Alternate Nostril Breathing: Breathe through one nostril at a time to experience deeper breaths, centeredness, and a release of anxiety. Begin by blocking the right nostril, inhale through the left, then block the left nostril and exhale through the right. Repeat the process, alternating nostrils.
  3. Engage in Ha! Exhales: Make fists with your hands, inhale deeply, and exhale with a forceful “HA!” as you bend forward. This technique will help calm you down, induce relaxation, and release nervous energy.

For those seeking more resources on mental health platforms, I recommend watching this enlightening video from the National Mental Health & Mental Fitness Summit in July 2019.

Remember, we are all on this journey together. Let us continuously remind one another that we don’t have to face our challenges alone.

Wishing you strength and well-being!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. If you’re looking for a welcoming, compassionate support group that will accompany you through parental ups and downs, join our Conscious Parenting Facebook Group.

 

Categories
Advice Best Practices Culture Parenting

The Ultimate Guide to Repairing Your Parenting Relationship: 5 Proven Ways to Become Better Partners

Troubled relationships with parenting partners are all too common. Whether parenting with a partner who sleeps next to you at night, co-parenting with an ex, or even sharing the responsibility of raising a child with grandparents, it is normal to experience ups and downs in the relationship. If you are struggling with parenting together, it is important to work towards repairing your parenting relationship in order to become better partners. Parenting is fraught with daily stresses, and our conversations can very easily sound like this:

Didn’t I tell you they need to get dressed by 8am? It’s 8:30!
How can you let them watch TV when I literally just said they can’t?!

Why do I feel like I’m doing everything and you’re doing nothing?

Sound familiar? You might find it increasingly challenging to manage working, keeping house, and managing your child’s extracurricular activities. And because of that, your relationship with your parenting partner may be on the rocks. Here are 5 ways to help you repair that relationship and become a better parenting partner:

  1. Practice effective communication. Effective communication is key. Instead of using negative language or showing frustration, try kind and clear communication to raise healthy and secure kids. For example, instead of yelling, “You never help me when I need you to!”, try calmly saying, “I feel overwhelmed because I have a meeting in five minutes. Can you help me by [insert your specific request]?” Repairing your parenting relationship starts with effective communication.
  2. Be strategic.Strategic planning is another important aspect of parenting together. Treat your parenting tasks like business goals, especially when issues arise. Create a schedule, prepare an agenda, have objectives, exchange relevant information with your partner, and keep them in the loop. Work together to come up with solutions that benefit both partners. Repairing your parenting relationship means being strategic in your approach.
  3. Cultivate an atmosphere of respect. Communicating with respect is one of the fundamental values of conscious parenting. As parenting partners, model respectful behavior in how you talk to and about each other. Avoid trash-talking your partner or undermining their authority, especially in front of your child. Repairing your parenting relationship starts with respect for each other.
  4. Agree to be consistent. Consistency is also crucial. Consistency is key for children. Shifting from one set of rules and expectations to another can be confusing for them. Apply consistency to bedtimes, chores, and study and play periods. Get on the same page about what’s permitted and what isn’t. Once you’ve made your decisions, stick to them and be consistent. Repairing your parenting relationship requires consistency in your approach.
  5. Chill out. Lastly, taking time to relax is important. Overextending yourself in too many directions can make you tired, overwhelmed, and cranky. For the sake of your partner, child, and yourself, create time in your schedule to kick back and relax. Even a few minutes of quiet time can make a big difference in diffusing high-emotion moments and bringing peace to your home life. Repairing your parenting relationship also means taking care of yourself and each other.

Parenting together can be challenging, but by using effective communication, strategic planning, cultivating an atmosphere of respect, being consistent, and taking time to relax, you can minimize meltdowns, create successful outcomes, and bring peace to your household. By repairing your parenting relationship, you and your partner can become better partners and raise healthy and happy children together.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S.: Looking for more weekly guidance? Join me in my private Facebook group for tips every Tuesday!