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Category: Skills

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Best Practices Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

There’s No Crying in Baseball – Or Business

“Are you crying?… There’s no crying in baseball!” That line was immortalized forever by Tom Hanks as baseball coach Jimmy Dugan in the 1992 hit movie A League Of Their Own about the women in professional baseball during World War II. The sentiment was echoed by a panel of executive women last night at an event I attended. When the moderator asked, “Is it ever okay to cry at work?” all four women gave an instant and simultaneous thumbs-down. This started me thinking about other emotional behaviors that are not acceptable for women or men, and how to express them more appropriately in the workplace.

Beyond tears, I think the most challenging one is anger. Anger is an emotion that we all feel at times, but how can it be expressed appropriately? We’ve all probably had the misfortune of witnessing a boss berating an employee, often in sight or earshot of others. While the employee is momentarily humiliated, the person who loses more respect is the boss who lost control and felt compelled to tear someone down in public. Regardless of the error made or how justifiably furious you are, there are right ways and wrong ways to express it.

First, you need to ensure that the language stays professional, not personal. Asking (even if not calmly) “How could this have happened?!” is very different from yelling “How could you be so stupid?!” Even if you’ve had multiple conversations with the person about costly, sloppy work in the past, it’s important to keep the discussion focused on the behaviors: “This is the second time you have missed critical details that have cost us time and a significant amount of money. You got an oral warning the first time, so this time I need to make a formal note in your records. If it happens again, I’ll be required to escalate it with HR.” If you want to curse and scream and call him every name in the book, fine – but do it in your car on the drive home when nobody can hear you, or take out your frustrations on the heavy bag at the gym. When you return to the office the next day, keep discourse civil and focus on finding solutions.

Anger is also toxic because it tends to lead to other destructive communication behavior, particularly scapegoating. Maybe nobody on your team made an egregious error, but perhaps a client backed out of a deal you were desperately counting on. Or a blizzard in the Midwest wreaked havoc on your delivery schedule across the region. While these kinds of situations are understandably stressful, it’s important to manage that stress and be careful not to take out your frustrations on others, whether your peers, employees, vendors, other clients, or family.

If you know that you get short-tempered and tend to snap at people when you’re in a bad mood, proactively communicate this to those around you: “I know we’re all working as hard as we can to solve this problem, and none of us caused it. For the next day or so, if I seem particularly short with you, let me apologize in advance; please know that it is not about you so do not take it personally. Thanks for your diligent efforts and patience at this difficult time.” Then, of course, make sure that you don’t make the language personal, and if you do speak harshly to someone who didn’t deserve it, be sure to apologize to them personally afterwards.

Of course, as with all communication, context is key. Someone else on yesterday’s panel made reference to a double standard in which it was okay for Joe Biden to cry in public, but it would not have been okay for Hillary Clinton to do so. I think that was an overstatement, given that Joe Biden wasn’t crying time and again out of frustration because the Republicans were pushing back on the Affordable Care Act. He only cried once in public, and it was while talking about the tragic loss of his son. It was a moment of palpable grief, and the country mourned with him. In a similar situation, if – heaven forbid – something equally awful had happened to Chelsea, and Hillary had wept as Joe did in the moment as a parent overcome with grief, I think it actually would have helped her. Ironically, it would have made her appear more human and relatable, which were two deficits that plagued her campaign. There is a time and a place for everything.

In the end, there are certain emotional behaviors that have no place in business. Recognizing what they are is crucial, but so is having coping mechanisms in place to deal with those triggering emotions when they arise. Not only does incorporating these mechanisms help you do your job more effectively, but doing so transparently and explicitly so others understand your intention is a great opportunity to mentor and teach leadership by example.

************

Do you or does someone you know struggle with managing how they express their emotions in the workplace? Or do you have other questions or feedback about this issue? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

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Accounting Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Industries Management Marketing Skills Technology Women In Business

Maximize the First 30 Minutes of Each Day

How do you set the tone and maximize productivity at the beginning of each day? Do you give yourself space to map things out or are you more of a wing-it kind of person? I believe how you START your day, sets the intention and momentum for how the rest of the day’s will transpire. When you begin with 30-minutes of focused attention to what really matters most –  that time will pay generous dividends by the end of the day.

Here are strategies maximize productivity and ensure a successful day in the first 30 minutes:

  1. Turn OFF your phones. It’s all right. That magical device that is glued to hands seemingly every waking minute of the day, delivering phone calls, chats, text messages and emails at an often-alarming rate does turn off. So does the desk phone! Take 30 minutes to create space for focus. It will all be there when you turn it back on. It’s just an hour. And there’s voicemail! If it’s important, they’ll leave a message or call back.  If you want to maximize productivity – turn off your phones.
  2. Close your door. If you’ve got one. This sends a signal to your team (or your family if you are a work-from-home entrepreneur) that you are unavailable unless there is an emergency. If you are new to the practice, educate your team what procedures you want to have in place when your door is closed. Once everyone is on board that this is your time to create, get strategic, work a business plan, and map out your day, they’ll recognize the importance. Especially when they see the RESULTS.  If you are forced to work in an open environment, consider headphones. I used this technique in one organization, and people eventually got the idea that when your headphones are in, it’s the equivalent of a do-not-disturb sign.
  3. Use smart time-blocking. My recommendations? Book all meetings to start after 9.00 am. If you’ve always had early morning meetings, this might be a tough change, but if needed, can you start your “clock” an hour earlier to ensure that you have a full 30 minutes to complete your planning?
  4. Start off-site if possible.  Can you complete your 30-minute mindset and strategy session BEFORE you walk through your office doors? That way when you are actually in office – you hit the ground running. Once you’ve mastered this, teach your team. Once they’ve mastered it – your Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) will go through the roof. A study done by Ctrip shared that remote workers are able to complete 13.5% more than their comparable office workers. How’s that for food for thought.
  5. Quit the clutter. Seriously. Inboxes. Coffee cups. Paperwork piles. These distractions are stealing brain bandwidth and steering your attention away from streamlining your day. Out with them!  Maximize productivity by decreasing visual distractions.
  6. Check off that early morning workout. If you can muster it, get your exercise out of the way first thing. Start small if you have (15-30-minute increments) but do start. You’ll feel like you’ve already checked one big daily goal off your to-do list! Cheers!
  7. Nix the gossip in the bud. Honestly, gossip is one of the biggest time, energy, and productivity drains an organization can have. We Aussies call a gossip a “flibbertigibbet”. Studies show that 39% of workers admit that gossip and workplace chat are their biggest productivity killers. Another study conducted by Equisys also shared that the average employee spends 65 hours a year gossiping in the workplace! Cull this invasive “thief” from your company if you truly want to maximize productivity.

Starting your day in planning mode will help you stay focused, on track, and set the right tone for not just your day – but that of those around you. Lead by example. Pay ATTENTION to the INTENTION you set for each day. Your productivity, profitability, and bottom-line results will reflect your efforts!

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Accounting Economics Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Operations Skills Women In Business

8 Words That Will Make You a Better Negotiator – Part 1

“Choose your words carefully in a negotiation, they’ll determine your degree of effectiveness.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

This article is part 1 of a two-part article. It contains an explanation of the first 4 of the 8 words that you can use to become a better negotiator. Part 2 will be released in the next ‘Negotiation Tip of the Week’.

Now imagine the new you, not limited, because you are instantly free.

There are 4 words contained in the sentence above that will make you a better negotiator. Do you know which words they are, how to use them, and why they’ll give you an advantage when negotiating? After reading this article, you’ll know why 4 of those words have such power, and how to use them in your negotiations.

“You misunderstood me”, said the first person to the second. “No, I didn’t. You used words that had a different meaning then what I understood,” was the response.

Communications can get dicey when negotiating.  Thus, you should always be mindful of the words you use, and which words have a greater impact on the negotiation.

The first 4 words are, new, free, because, and you.

1. New – Everyone is drawn to the word, ‘new’. It symbolizes something that’s not been seen/heard and/or revised. Some people are influenced by this word simply because they want to be/remain state-of-the-art. They want to be part of what’s trending so that they can be in-the-know.

Use the word, ‘new’, in your negotiations when you wish to instill a degree of excitement about a changed or enhanced position/offer. Be mindful of not overusing it. To do so will weaken its impact.

2. Free – Who doesn’t like to get something for free? The word, ‘free’, has been used throughout time to draw people in to examine how they might acquire something for nothing. At least that’s their initial impression when they see or hear the word, ‘free’.

In your negotiations, you can use the word, ‘free’, as a tool of risk reversal (i.e. I’ll reduce or eliminate the risk of accepting what I’m stating to be true). As an example, you might offer the other negotiator the opportunity to examine or engage in your offer for a period of time before she makes a commitment to engage further. By doing so, she’ll have the time to experience for herself the value of what you state as the outcome she’ll receive.

3. Because – Studies have shown, when you use the word, ’because’ in a request, people are more likely to grant your request. This has been borne out even when there’s no following reason given after the word ‘because’ is used.

Use the word, ‘because’, when making a request during a negotiation to give the other negotiator more insight into why you’re making the request. You’ll be giving him more insight into your negotiation strategy, so be alert about how much information you give and only give what’s needed at the time.

4. You – There’s nothing more powerful to you than the sound of your name. Your name captures your immediate attention. In a negotiation, it would become tiresome to continuously use someone’s name. That’s where the word, ‘you’, comes in.

During a negotiation, you can use the other negotiator’s name when speaking to him; a subliminal trick would be to tie his name to the word, ‘you’, every time there’s a perceived positive aspect to the negotiation (e.g. John, the outcome of this negotiation is going to make you look like a superhero to your bosses!)

You now have new insights into how the above words can instantly increase your negotiation abilities. You acquired these words for free because you read this article. Imagine what this new knowledge will do for you. Use these words in your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

Please be sure to see the next “Negotiation tip of the Week” for the other 4 words that complete the list of ‘8 Words That Will Make You A Better Negotiator”. 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Leadership Marketing Skills

Dressing Well for the Camera

Video is the new black. It has forged to the forefront of marketing campaigns and is seen as the best platform to get your message out. Written content and audio are still great, but video brings in the component of both visual and audio communication. As noted in my book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand, humans are wired to interpret things visually first. It is the most dominant of our senses. So how you appear on camera matters. There will be a time when you will be in front of a video camera, whether it is creating video marketing content, being interviewed as the CEO of your company, or presenting to an audience. I want to make sure you are prepared to bring forth your best self visually.

I partnered with Nancy Morrisey, Vice President of Mirage Productions in New Jersey to gain insight on what her production company recommends to video clients. “No black, white, or vertical stripes” is Nancy’s first piece of advice she offers her clients. Below is a collaboration of her input and my 20+ years of expertise as a brand manager, personal brand strategist, image consultant, and professionally trained model.

Color and Pattern

  • BEST COLOR CHOICES: Gray, Navy, Light Blue, Royal Blue, Brown, Purple, Pink, Pastels
  • COLORS TO AVOID: Black, White
  • COLORS TO BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT: Green, Red

Mid- to deep tone colors work best. It is a good idea to do a pop of color. For example, if you choose a gray jacket, put a royal blue or purple shirt underneath, or a red or purple necktie.

If possible, know what the background color will be. If there will be a green screen, then you must avoid wearing green.

Red and orange can be hard on camera as they have a tendency to glow. If you choose to wear red, make sure it is a dark red.

High contrast such as black and white together is very hard on camera and can cause problems for the camera to balance exposure properly as is the case of wearing all black or all white. The same black and white contrast principal holds true with contrast between your skin coloring and clothing color. If you have very light skin, avoid wearing a dark color and vice versa.

Solids work best. Stripes, pinstripes, herringbone, corduroy, and polka dots cause a camera to jump and create a moiré effect making the garment look like it is moving.

If you will be on set, I always recommend bringing one backup outfit. You never know if you will spill something on yourself or have a wardrobe malfunction. Also, sometimes you do not know in advance what the background will be and you don’t want to clash with it. So a backup outfit comes in handy.

Shape, Fit, and Line

Make sure your clothing fits your shape nicely and smoothly. Any wrinkling or bulging will only be emphasized on camera. The tighter the clothing, the larger you appear. Anything loose or ill-fitting will add weight to you and make you appear sloppy. Clean lines and silhouettes are always best. Avoid plunging necklines. Wear something that is comfortable to you. If you don’t, that will come across in your body language on camera. It can be hot under the lights, so wearing a lighter weight fabric will keep you from sweating.

Ladies, if you are going to be sitting during an on-camera interview, check your skirt length in a sitting position beforehand as the skirt length will rise up a bit when you are sitting.

Accessories and Grooming

Minimal jewelry is always appropriate. Shiny jewelry can be hard for a camera. However, as Nancy encourages, if you have an heirloom or special piece of jewelry, by all means, wear it.

Hair should be smooth and not fussy. Flyaway hair is easily seen on camera. In a pinch, hand lotion rubbed on your hands can quickly smooth flyaway hair.

Gone are the days where heavy makeup is required. Keep it simple and do wear a lip color, but keep it in a matte finish. No shiny lip gloss or lip balm. You will want to keep some translucent powder or blotting tissue on hand to touch up any shine.

Cameras can pick up on every piece of facial hair, so be sure you have shaved properly or plucked stray hairs.

Facial Exercises

It is good practice to warm up your mouth with facial exercises. This helps alleviate any nervous twitching of the mouth and allows your face to relax and smile. The facial exercises I was taught in modeling school are the ones I continue to use today. Say each vowel out loud and open your mouth as wide as possible as you are saying the vowel, stretching your mouth and facial muscles as much as possible. Repeat this over and over until you feel loosened up. This is also a tip to use before stepping onto a stage to speak.

Stay True to Brand

The rules above are meant to be a guide. Staying true to your personal brand is always encouraged.

I help executives create a powerful image and brand so they look and feel confident wherever they are. Contact me at sheila@imagepowerplay.com to schedule a 20-minute call to discuss how we can work together to grow your visibility through my return on image® services.

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Best Practices Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Behavior Management in the Workplace

I had the great opportunity to work with Board Certified Behavior Analysts and I learned so much from them. These BCBAs specialize in autism treatment. This field may seem completely irrelevant to the business world but there is a clear correlation. It’s all about behavior management.

For a child on the autism spectrum, therapists use the principles of ABA which is Applied Behavior Analysis. Essentially, it’s about breaking things down into small steps until that target has been mastered. The child learns through errorless teaching (adjusted prompt levels until the child makes the correct response) and their positive behavior is strengthened and maintained through positive reinforcement (using their motivator).

What does this have to do with typical adults in the business world?

As business leaders we need to understand what motivates our people. We recognize that everyone is unique and requires a different approach to get things done. When we understand our people’s motivations, we are able to reward them accordingly, retain top talent and onboard new talent.

Here is a list of motivators in the workplace:

  • Money
  • A sense of belonging
  • The work itself
  • Recognition
  • Career Development

We also know that change management can be challenging, but when we understand the barriers around change we are able are to gain consensus and achieve great results. We do this by breaking things down into small steps and slowly introducing change in a positive way.

Using the principles of ABA we are able to gain an understanding of people’s motivations and effectively manage change.

People are so fascinating. We all have subtle and clear patterns, we all have certain expectations. We all have different perspectives. ABA helps us to get to the root cause of why someone does a certain thing and reacts in a certain way.

ABA is especially effective when we are engaging in negotiations, conflict resolution and improving employee engagement.

Executive coaching is all about being open to learning new ways of thinking and doing in order to achieve goals and solve problems. Using ABA in the workplace is just one example of how we can gain insights by thinking outside the box.

Michelle Nasser, Executive Coach

Teaching you how to make the best decisions for your organization.

www.michellenasser.com

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Economics Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations News and Politics Skills Women In Business

Perception – Does Being Right or Wrong Matter?

“Constantly test your beliefs. They serve as the foundation from which you view the world, those in it, and how others in turn view you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Too many times, people get hung-up on who’s right and who’s wrong. In reality that’s not what they’re really interested in. They’re more concerned with getting others to follow their lead. Being cognizant of that should allow you to focus more on the outcome you seek in a situation and less on how being perceived as right or wrong will make you feel. If you do identify your feelings as the source that motivates you to adopt one action over another, examine your thoughts to assess why that’s so; it could mean that you’re less interested in the outcome versus the way you feel about the outcome. If that turns out to be the case, you have a completely different ‘kettle of fish’ to deal with, one that’s in addition to the perception of right or wrong.

Once you can boil right or wrong down to its most simplistic form and still get others to follow you, right or wrong becomes immaterial. Recognize that you really don’t want to be viewed as being right or wrong, what you’re really after is to have others agree with your beliefs.

Going forward, when you’re engaged in dialog with others ask yourself, “Am I placing too much emphasis on being right or wrong?” Understand the source of motivation behind your actions to convince others that you’re right. That will be the real key to the impact you have on them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Every negotiator enters into a negotiation believing that her point of view should be accepted by the other negotiator; from her perspective, her point of view is right. If too much emphasis is placed on being right, she may overlook other opportunities to sway her counterpart to the real objective of the negotiation, which is to receive a favorable outcome for her.

Before you can shape someone’s perception, first you have to shape your own. You should have a firm understanding of how you arrived at your perspectives, the value they contain as viewed by others, to what degree they may contain unsubstantiated biases, and how you’ll position them to be viewed as most advantageous by the other negotiator. Once you’ve gathered those aspects, you’ll realize that it’s perception that matters, not who’s right or wrong. That will add a new dimension to your negotiation efforts.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Why Everyone Should Speak Like a Leader

In Machiavelli’s classic, The Prince, he weighs the relative importance of being loved or being feared as the best motivator of one’s “subjects.” In today’s workplace, those are not typically viewed as the default “either-or” choice regarding the most important qualities in a leader, but research shows that there are other, less intuitive factors that have been shown to inspire trust in leadership and cultivate a willingness to follow.

A recent study indicated that at the heart of all relationships, both professional and personal, are two factors: whether you are “competent,” and whether you are “warm”. “Warmth” is important because it implies a lack of intentional threat. And “competence” balances warmth because it indicates that you won’t accidentally cause someone harm either. The combination of both allows people to trust in someone’s potential as a leader. To me, it poses an interestingly defense-oriented approach to the perception of leadership.

But it’s more than whether or not you are warm and competent: the other half of the equation is whether other people believe that you have both of these qualities. If this is true, it begs the question of how these broad definitions of warmth and competence are recognized. This is where the ability to speak like a leader comes in becomes of critical importance.

What does warmth sound like? What about competence? We tend to think of warmth in terms of feelings and behaviors, and competence in terms of skills, but based on the above explanation of what warmth and competence represent, the way you communicate your intentions and executions will drastically influence your credibility on both fronts.

Let’s look at a few influential factors, to ensure that your communication style allows your warmth and competence to shine through.

Word choice

Of course your message needs to be factually accurate and true, but it goes beyond that. When you explain something, do you give more jargon-laden detail than the listener wants, needs or can understand? Does it seem like you are avoiding answering certain questions or omitting other details? These habits can undermine the perception of warmth because it seems like you don’t really understand or trust me, and if you don’t trust me, why would I trust you?

Alternatively, if you use lots of fillers like um, you know, I mean, or sort of, it seems like you lack confidence in what you’re saying, which erodes the perception of competence.

Using relatable anecdotes and clear organization, on the other hand, make it much easier for the listener to understand your meaning. This transparency allows them to see you as a more trustworthy leader.

Articulation

Once you know what you want to say, the way the words roll – or stumble – off the tongue, will either help propel the listener along with you, or make them hit the brakes. Do you speak at a volume that is easy for everyone to hear, and at a speed that is easy to follow? Does your inflection highlight important words, indicating your personal interest in the topic and adding vocal interest for the listener? If so, all of these practices will reinforce your image of warmth and competence because it shows you are considering and prioritizing the needs of the audience. Mumbling, rushing, and monotonous, run-on sentences will all have the opposite effect.

Facial expressions

Tying it all up, your physical communication is, ironically, the strongest of the three communication modes when it comes to your appearance of credibility. No matter how much expertise you demonstrate in your content, and how strong or clear your voice is, facial expressions such as occasional eye-rolling, unintentional frowning when concentrating, eye contact (or lack thereof), or chewing on your lip can signal your deeper, underlying negative feelings about what you are saying, from arrogance and contempt to insecurity. Remember to smile when appropriate, make eye contact with everyone without staring them down, and keep a neutral listening face in order to reassure the audience of the sincerity of your intentions.

Regardless of the seniority of your position, bearing these points in mind will help you reinforce the impression of being both warm and competent, and come across as a natural leader.

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Do you have other questions or feedback about effective leadership communication? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

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Accounting Body Language Economics Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Skills Taxes Women In Business

How to Overcome Lost Trust When Negotiating

“One way to overcome the loss of trust when negotiating is not to lose it in the first place.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Trust is the hidden variable when negotiating that possesses silent power in the negotiation. Once trust is lost, a negotiation takes on a persona from which it may never recover. Thus, depending on the severity of lost trust, it may be the death knell of the negotiation.

There are multiple factors that play a role in regaining trust when it’s lost. The implementation of those factors are directly tied to how you wish to proceed from the point of disruption, the outcome you seek from the negotiation, time factors related to future events, and any mitigating circumstances that may cause you to engage/disengage in/from the negotiation.

This article will give you insights as to how you can overcome the loss of trust when you negotiate and turn your efforts into winning actions.

Point of Disruption:

Be observant as to how trust is being evaluated during the negotiation. Such signs will be conveyed through the possible reluctance to believe, follow, or acquiesce to a request and/or concession. Once you sense such hesitancy, address it right then. Don’t let a possible festering thought about trust linger. If you do, you may be setting up the rest of the negotiation to be addressed from a deeper entrenched position on both sides.

Outcome Sought:

Be crystal clear about the outcomes sought by you and the other negotiator. To the degree you have commitments, shine a bright metaphoric light on those agreements and make those commitments known to stakeholders with lots of fanfare. As an aside, be mindful of whom you show the commitments so that they don’t tear them down. In a best-case scenario, you tie/lock the other negotiator to the commitments he states he’ll abide by. Also, limit finger pointing, gloating, and be aware of your verbiage when highlighting agreed on commitments. The wrong word(s), gloating, and/or finger pointing can easily lead to the unraveling of a commitment. To ensure that commitments will be adhered to, discuss with the other negotiator how they will be conveyed when presented to the outside world.

Time Factors and Future Events:

You should always consider the time factor and how today’s negotiation will impact future events. To that end, to restore lost trust:

  1. Sign-off on agreements at specific points in the negotiation and wait to see if deliverables are made
  2. Know hidden power players and their possible reaction(s) about the direction of the negotiation
  3. Have contingency plans in place to persuade power players to positions that are advantageous to you

Mitigating Circumstances:

There are mitigating circumstances that can encompass any negotiation. Such can be caused by the misperception of a word, a misperceived gesture, or just a dislike amongst the negotiators. If you’re aware of any mitigating circumstances that may cause the negotiation to be headed to the negotiation graveyard, consider changing negotiators. New negotiators can see the negotiation through new eyes.

A loss of trust can be a silent death knell in a negotiation but that doesn’t have to be so. The best way to offset its occurrence is to be as forthright as possible as you engage in a negotiation. Of course, that forth righteousness is a two-way street that the other negotiator must also be willing to traverse. Use the suggestions above to offer him the opportunity to do so … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Trust  #psychology

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Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

What I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Bought My First Smartphone

Have you ever been so excited about buying something new that you fail to stop long enough to consider how it might impact you in the long run? Let’s face it; rarely do we ever consider the long-term consequences of our purchases and impulsive needs, especially when it comes to technology.

I can still remember my first smartphone purchase – the answer to my productivity needs. The ability to map my destinations, create travel itineraries on a whim, respond to emails in a more timely fashion, take photos and more. I’ve never been one that is a cutting-edge ‘early adopter’ where technology is concerned, but the smartphone was truly that – smart. It was the answer to my overwhelmed, overly committed life.

Never one time did I stop to consider the long term impacts the smartphone would have on my life, let alone on society. Have you ever stopped to contemplate how your life has changed since introducing this device into it? If you knew then what you know now, would you still have made that very first purchase? Or perhaps, would you have introduced it to your life differently?

The following aspects are those I wish I would have – could have – considered before that first smartphone purchase:

Dinner Disruptions:

I wish I would have known that I would rarely see families and friends engaged in a conversation around the dinner table without the distraction of a device. I can’t even recall the last time I sat in a restaurant and witnessed everyone engaged in a non-device disrupting conversation and meal. Far too often I see adults tuned out reading online while kids mindlessly play games and avoid interaction. I watch as young couples engage more on social media than with each other. I wait as servers and staff turn their attention to patrons in need of photos, causing other patrons to sit in wait.

Traveling Challenges:

I wish I would have known that every airport would become a land mine of adults sitting on floors and against walls, hovering near any available power outlet or charging station, handcuffed to their device in a desperate hope it will charge before boarding the flight. Before smartphones, I can’t recall a time it was commonplace to see grown adults holding a small device as if it were their very life support.

Distracted Driving:

I wish I would have known the rate people would crash, or even die, due to distracted drivers. Let’s face it, there are few things more annoying, distracting and dangerous than a smartphone alert going off when you’re behind the wheel of a car. No matter where you keep the phone – your purse, console, glove box or back seat – there is something about the sound of an alert that pulls your focus from the road. Never would I have imagined how many people I would share the road with that would be texting while driving, reading the news, posting online or even live streaming their thoughts in transit. Even when thought I have disciplined myself not to look at the phone while driving, the very thought of what awaits for me competes for my attention more than I would have ever imagined.

Home Life Hindrances:

I wish I would have known how much I would ask my friends and family to pause their thoughts as I answered a self-inflicted obligation to respond to emails after hours. I can remember when I first linked my email to my smartphone and thought how amazing it was to respond to emails after the work day was over. I considered this a productivity win as my response times were cut in half. I had faith that others recognized my diligence and would be appreciative of my timely response. What I didn’t realize is that in time, my enthusiasm for answering after hour emails would turn into a habit and that habit would turn into obligation. Little by little, I had trained those in my circle to expect an immediate response from me. Before I knew it, my 9 to 5 turned into a 24×7 workday. My loved ones became the ones in wait as I took time and attention from them to respond to messages that could have easily waited until morning.

Need for Instant Information:  

I wish I would have known my need for instant information would become a crutch. I’m not sure if you’re like me, and have lost track of the number of times you’ve stopped mid conversation to research facts and figures to prove a point. While having information at our fingertips is amazing, it can also hinder our ability to be free thinkers and engage in healthy debates and judgement without the need to immediately prove who is right.

Social Media Influence:

I wish I would have known how toxic social media would become. If only I could have seen the day I would wish for photos of a friend’s meal to be the topic of social media fodder. Instead, the smartphone has allowed all of us to think, and post, without self-censorship. We’ve entered into a world where what we feel is immediately available for others to read. I would have never guessed the draining effect it would have on my in my daily life, feelings and productivity. Not only has the smartphone increased my accessibility to read social media, it’s made it addictive to the point that a concerted effort has to be made just to tune it out or avoid it all together.

Productivity Nemesis:

I wish I would have known that the very tool I was purchasing to help me become more productive would be the very thing that would challenge my ability to do so. With constant alerts, messages and updates, it’s hard to remain focused on anything of importance. Trying to focus on a task becomes challenging when I know someone has messaged me and is awaiting an immediate response. Now, I have to make a conscious effort to download apps and schedule times of days they work to keep alerts and messages at bay. Never the less, the impulsive need to check my screen for notifications is often more than I can bear. Despite my need for focused thinking, I find my attention challenged in ways I would have never previously imagined.

Talking to Foreheads:

I wish I would have known that the introduction of the smartphone meant learning to carry on conversations with people’s foreheads. If only I had the ability to grab someone by their face and say what my 5 year old friend, Donovan, taught me – “Listen with your eyes.” Put the phone down and pay attention to what is right in front of you, not what can wait. If only I would have known how preconditioned I would become – we would become – to accepting interruptions and someone’s half attention as the norm.

Is there anything you wish you would have known before buying your first smartphone? While technology has helped us in many ways, it challenges our focus and competes for our attention for what is truly important. While I don’t regret having this amazing technology, hind sight is always 20/20. Now that we know the challenges, can we change our habits, or are we doomed to distraction?

I believe attention is our new currency. Attention to what matters most is where we will profit, boost productivity and increase accountability. Paying attention to what is important is a skill we must learn – if not relearn – to help us achieve balance in our lives with technology.

What are your thoughts? I would love to read them. Are you committed to changing your habits and learning how to use the smartphone as a tool and break the dependency you’ve created? If so, subscribe to my ezine to learn tips, techniques and strategies to help you pay attention to what matters most.

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When You Should – And Should NOT – Memorize a Speech

I coach people on how to be persuasive and compelling in a variety of contexts, one of which is in preparation for giving a formal speech or presentation. This fall I’ve coached three TED talks, helped CFOs prepare for board meetings, directed dozens of entrepreneurs through their investor pitches, and prepared executives to deliver webinars to their global teams. But in all of these scenarios, one question always comes up: “Should I memorize the script?”

The simple answer is: it depends.

Disclaimer: I am a linguist, not an actor, so it never feels natural to recite scripted lines, even if I can deliver them naturally. However, there is a time and a place for it. Let’s look at how to make this decision, and then you can decide how to approach your next presentation.

Time Limits

There are time limits to most engagements, and the shorter your window, the more memorization can help ensure that you hit your key points before you run out of time.

When you have an extremely tight window, e.g. a two-minute elevator pitch, you can’t afford to fumble around searching for the right words. Even if you don’t memorize your whole spiel, if you plan to share an anecdote or explain a process, those can be good segments to rehearse and hone so you can recite them verbatim when the time comes.

Managing Audience Interaction

On the other hand, if you know that the audience can interrupt at any time with questions and comments, you’ll get completely derailed if you are relying exclusively on memorized lines. Once you can resume, there’s a good chance you’ve either forgotten where you left off or you remember, but it no longer flows naturally from the conversation.

Plus, if you have to respond extemporaneously to the comment, your speech style will probably sound different than during your memorized portion. This is a dead giveaway that you’re speaking from a script rather than from the heart.

Again, as I mentioned above, it can be useful to memorize certain excerpts, but be able to stray from the script as needed or desirable in the moment.

Visual Aids

Notice that this resource is called “visual aids,” not “visual crutches.” A well-designed slide serves three basic purposes: It adds visual interest, makes the content easier for the audience to process, and serves as a prompt to remind the speaker what to discuss next.

The worst slides are the ones that are shortened versions of the speaker’s script, which the speaker then reads aloud off the screen in front of everyone. I have just one suggestion here: DON’T.

If you can read a lot of your script off your slide, so can your audience, at which point they don’t need you anymore. Keep the slides simple and textually sparse; put the full sentences and paragraphs in your talking points instead. The audience should be able to glance at a slide for a brief moment, understand the main point, and then turn their attention back to you as the source of more information.

Overall, scripts are not inherently evil; as I’ve explained above, they can be a great tool, and sometimes they’re even required. I have clients whose legal department needs to vet the language of any presentation intended for shareholders. (Note: If you ever want help writing engaging dialogue, do NOT ask the legal department!) But there are definitely some that are well written and effective, and those that are not.

Whether or not you script out your whole talk, speech or presentation, the goal is to ensure that it enables you to projects your true authority, confidence and leadership.

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Do you struggle with public speaking or know someone who does? Contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally.