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Eve of Disruption – Future of Work

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the words “FUTURE OF WORK?”

I recently went to a well curated panel event hosted by The Freelancers Conference on the topic of “Future of work.”  The first thought in one of the panelists was fear.  Fear of what is going to happen and how do we go through the change and accept it.  There was fear that “robots” (technology) would replace entry level jobs. There was fear of the implications of remote working on infrastructure if people didn’t drive to work on a normal basis.  There was fear of what does career mean versus work.  There was fear on how the continued interaction between all the generations in the work force will affect the “stability” of what is work today.  With the entry of the millennial into the workforce and the proliferation of technology (social media, phones) there has been a shift in the path, individuals are taking for their career.  For those in the Gen-X generation and older, we were taught to go to college, maybe get a graduate degree, get a corporate job, go up the ladder and on the way get married, have children, buy a house and car.  This would bring about stability so we could retire and enjoy life when we were “older.”

The world has changed since we have grown up and the future of work is definitely in a different place.  Between 1975 and 2015, life expectancy at birth increased from 72.6 to 78.8 years for the total U.S. population. We are living longer for multiple reasons including better: health systems, infrastructure, food sources etc.  It also means that we have a longer span to support our lifestyles and many people are not retiring to just live out the rest of their lives and have fun. The boomer generation is not retiring  as we expected and the millennial generation is entering the workforce at the same time making a paradigm shift on how work should be done and what matters.   Millennials are driving the notion that work should be purpose driven. They want to have experiences in their life now. We have generations in the workforce who didn’t expect to be working past retirement or having multiple careers.  On the flip side you have generations coming into the workforce who know they will have longer lives and be working multiple jobs throughout their lives.  The definition of career versus work has changed dramatically and means different things to every person.

This trend is showing that more people are thinking about their individual path in the scheme of helping our world survive as we go through these massive changes.  As business people we are digitizing individualization through social media, technology such as AI and big data to see products and services.  These technologies also change how people conduct their own work.  Technology will make it easier to do many jobs in a more efficient manner.  Interestingly, many companies are cropping up to help corporations focus on their “employees” (stated loosely as it could include freelancers etc).  However, if you go into many large corporations they still struggle providing the same environment inside their business as their employees are living outside.  A large Fortune 10 company based in a small town wants to be the retailer of the future.  Yet Airbnb, Uber and other tech companies in the sharing economy are still “new” fangled companies in 2017.  If your employees are not experiencing or researching the end customer, you won’t be able to keep up with the times and you will also lose employees very quickly as opportunity to be engaged and grow is everywhere.

The trust level between employees and employers is starting to deteriorate and that will be one of the many downfalls of the current system. Individuals are beginning to realize they have more freedom in their lifestyles as freelancers and the numbers are growing rapidly, to 1/3 of the American workforce.  This changes the dynamic of businesses who are hiring individuals who want to work remotely, don’t really care for employee benefits or the physical spaces in offices.  This will change how office space is designed and how HR processes are managed.  Yet, these individuals want to be seen as people and the human element comes into play.  When we are taught that scale drives business and revenues, it will get harder to engage employees for the individual mindsets that they bring to the table.

There are lots of aspects of the future of work that are being worked on by many different groups right now.  There are businesses that help executives understand their new workforce which is multi-generational, diverse and has a new mindset on the future.  Other companies help businesses to design their future physical space and separately companies who help create the technology infrastructure to manage remote employees.  Focusing on individualization of employees is going to be critical as we move forward and new ways of doing business come about.  Laws, retirement age, work hours, work ethics, rules, HR processes, physical space, city infrastructure, products and services are just the tip of the iceberg on what will change as we move forward.

What does Future of Work mean to you as an individual and what changes do you see right now?

 

Welcome to the Eve of Disruption. A weekly series depicting what the future fabric of our society could look like. There is a changing paradigm in how we live, work and play. Are you and your organization moving with the times and adapting to the massive and rapid changes happening right now? The Eve of Disruption looks at ideas that could be 5 – 10 years in the future but most likely will happen in the blink of an eye. #jointhejourney

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

Bell(e)’s World – Balance

How do you define BALANCE in your life?

We hear about work life balance, all the time.  Balance is defined, as a condition, in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Life is very hard to have all the elements be equal.  We are messaged throughout our lives that work and life proportions should be balanced.  Let’s look at the averages based on The Labor Bureau of Statistics.  Fact – There are 168 hours in every week! (Some people think that’s not enough).  The most amount of time is spent on personal care1 which includes sleep – 67.06 hours / week.  Almost less than half on work or work related activities 2 – 25.27 hours / week. This gives us almost 75.67 hours/ week to do something other than “sleep” and “work.”  Yet our focus in life is centered around work and getting the financial gains from “working”, being successful, having a title, having power etc.  Just looking at the numbers, balance, is not a game, we should strive to win.  You are struggling every day to achieve something that is not truly possible and shouldn’t be the same for everyone.  Each of us is an individual, on their own life journey.

Work can be enjoyable to many people.  When I am doing things that mostly make my brain tick and generates income, I am very focused and enjoy what I am doing.  Many of the closest people, in my life, tell me I constantly work.  Yet it doesn’t look like I am working to the outside world.  It looks like I am enjoying life and being a free spirit because I am around people I enjoy interacting with and I travel a lot.  There are many executives who are driven by the work they do because they are good at it, they enjoy it and are getting paid to do it.  This does mean that sometimes their personal lives are affected by the amount of time they spend on work.

However, they need to find the balance on the expectations of them by the people in their life.  There is nothing wrong in being motivated by the work you do and spending a lot of time on it.  The problem becomes when you have situations where others have expectations on your time and they don’t receive it.  As everything on a Bell curve there is a large group of people that truly enjoy the work they do.  However, the media is constantly providing articles on how to achieve balance and makes people feel that they are not normal or fulfilled in their journey because they are always working.   The media and our culture shapes our way of thinking from the moment our brains start learning to process information.  We are taught what is the right behavior (eg. etiquette) to how we should think.  Yet, each individual, in the universe will have a slightly different way of thinking and will be wired a little different.

Life is not just about balance but is a key component to going through the life journey.  Prior to understanding balance in your own life, you need to go through the process of understanding your core self. The core self, answers the questions of what makes you tick to what journey do you want to lead. The list is extensive and the time is takes to process this self-evaluation can be a lifetime.  As you start peeling the layers, you find confidence on making decisions based on your individual journey.  Balance does not mean our work and play will be even and its definitely not the same for everyone. Balance is about understanding how we want to go through the journey of life and feel fulfilled at the end.

How do you want to bring BALANCE into your Journey of Life?

1Average weekly hours worked https://www.bls.gov/web/empsit/ceseesummary.htm
2Average daily hours on activities https://www.bls.gov/charts/american-time-use/activity-by-sex.htm

Welcome to Bell(e)’s world. Everything in this world is based on a bell curve. Our media concentrates on giving advice to make everyone be a part of the masses. This is a weekly series of Urvi’s insights on her perception of the world. They say perception is reality and she lives in her own fantasy world. This allows her to delve into the human element of our lives, helping individuals look into their own souls to understand who they are and what they want out of their journey of life.  Bell(e)’s world explores the extremes and goes beyond the surface. Ready to read about some of the “elephants in the room?”  Contact urvi if you want to build your emotional wealth and enhance your life based on your inner core. #thehumanelement

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Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Motivation and Alignment

 

In the previous article on motivation we explored how to motivate your team. This article takes you deeper on the topic of alignment, which is aligning the people on your team with their gifts, contributions, and brilliance.

We have discussed internal vs. external motivators and how people are motivated in the long-term intrinsically, from within. In this article we are going to look at how you can help your employees tap into their intrinsic motivations for better results and higher performance.

To do this you will start by learning who your team members are so you can help them contribute in a way that is meaningful for them. One of the topics I discuss with clients is identifying your unique brilliance and the brilliance of each person on your team. When you know your brilliance and theirs it becomes much easier to align each team member with the tasks and projects where they will have the most impact and provide the best results.

For example (a simple example), do you have a team member who loves working on complex problems? Don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work or have them finalize the PowerPoint deck or at least don’t ask them to do it for very long. You want to find the team member who thrives on repetitive tasks and processes to pick up the phone and make cold calls or format the spreadsheet.

Of course it goes much deeper than that and there are lots of ways to learn about who your people are. The easiest way to start is to spend time talking to people and asking them what lights them up, but there are also some terrific assessments you can use. I use the Core Values Index (CVI) Assessment by Taylor Protocols with my clients in addition to discussing their unique brilliance with them through an exercise I’ve developed on this topic, creatively named the Unique Brilliance tool.

The reason I also use the CVI assessment is because it easy to use, quick to take, and the insights each individual receives along with the discussion on what lights them up provides invaluable information on how they prefer to contribute.

If you want a copy of the Unique Brilliance tool you can find it along with other resources at www.c-suiteresults.com and you can also email me at sharon@c-suiteresults.com and ask for a copy. It’s important for you to not only understand your gifts and brilliance, but also help your team understand theirs. You can also take the CVI for free from the C-Suite Results Website to get a glimpse of the type of information it provides.

Once you truly know who is on your team and how they are motivated to contribute you can align more of their tasks and responsibilities with the way they are wired to contribute. Of course no one can always do the fun tasks and avoid the boring or difficult ones, but the more you can provide your team with opportunities to truly contribute in a meaningful way, the more they will go above and beyond and really show you how they shine.

This is a key step in creating high performance teams, reducing turnover, and getting better results.  I encourage you to start exploring this idea on your own or with help from others. If I can be of assistance you can reach me via email at sharon@c-suiteresults.com

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Best Practices Growth Management Personal Development Technology

Is Your Marketing a Business or a Religion?

That might seem like an odd question to pose, but I have run into one too many B2B clients lately who have convinced themselves over the years that marketing is just a waste of money. Often, these executives cut their teeth in the 1980s and 1990s when B2B Marketing was truly not terribly important. No B2B companies had CMOs back then because there was nothing C-level about the job. It doesn’t take a high executive to decide what the brochure should say that we bring to our booth at the trade show. And that’s all that B2B marketing was.

Fast forward to today. Those same executives that grew up in the era of unimportant B2B marketing have not realized that times have changed. Digital marketing has made B2B marketing expenditures hugely important. Prospects don’t even have you on the list if they can’t find you. And even if you were referred to them, they check out your website before they even call.

But I have run into a spate of B2B execs over the last few weeks that look me in the eye and say, “Yeah, well. I just don’t believe that more marketing will bring us any more sales.” Folks, that is a religious statement. Nobody is asking you to believe. We’re asking you to experiment. We’re asking you to give it a try. Make a bet. See what happens. We’re asking you to treat marketing the same way you treat every other decision. You don’t invest in new products because you believe in them. You know that most of them will fail. You invest in them because you know you have no choice because you won’t find the ones that work if you don’t invest in all of them. That’s business, not religion.

 The problem is that you can’t teach anyone something that they think they already know. And if you take the attitude that you already know that marketing is a waste of money, then you can’t learn how digital marketing is a new way to play. So, you can stick to your religion and operate like it’s still the 1980s. Or you can recognize that the browser on your computer and the phone in your pocket and the iPad by your bed are the new way to reach your audience in an efficient and effective way, and if you are missing in action, they will just find your competitors.

You don’t need to believe in it. You just have to give it a chance to prove it to you. Just like you do with the rest of your business.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to LEAP Into Extreme Leadership

The world is full of people who call themselves leaders, but woefully short of Extreme Leaders. Perhaps you think that’s OK. Extreme Leaders, you might reason, are only needed for extreme circumstances – a soldier taking fellow troops into battle, a Sherpa guiding climbers up Mount Everest, or a quarterback directing a potential game-winning drive in the Super Bowl. Everyday life, you might say, requires only everyday leaders.

But here’s the reality: Everyday leaders who aren’t also Extreme Leaders aren’t taking anyone anywhere worth going. They risk very little and gain very little. Soon the only reason anyone follows them is out of the obligation that comes with a paycheck.

Extreme Leaders, meanwhile, love their work and the people associated with it so much that they embrace and inspire audacious decisions. They attack their work with a contagious energy. And they display an unwavering commitment to get things done. In other words, they willingly put themselves on the line to change their world for the better.

That’s leadership worth following. And you don’t have to be a soldier, a Sherpa, or an NFL quarterback to be an Extreme Leader. You just have to lead with Love, Energy, Audacity, and Proof – otherwise known as LEAP.

Interested? Here are a few ways to LEAP immediately into Extreme Leadership:

Cultivate Love – Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.

Extreme Leaders find ways to genuinely love their work and every individual who touches their business. Then they act from that level of motivation. Thus, they pay nearly obsessive attention to the needs, desires, hopes, and aspirations of their customers and co-workers. So here’s the go-do: Identify at least two people who love what you do, one inside your organization (e.g., a co-worker) and one outside (e.g., a client). Tell each of them why you love your work and provide a specific way you plan to serve their needs over the next 60 days.

Generate Energy – Generate more energy when you walk into a room than when you walk out.

You don’t have to watch TV or movies to see zombies in action. Just walk through the typical office in corporate America. But not yours, because you aspire to Extreme Leadership. A couple of ways you can generate energy include passionately sharing a purposeful vision with others and actively expressing gratitude to others. So pick out five people in your work atmosphere and do at least one of those two things for them in the next 24 hours.

Inspire Audacity – Make a connection between the work you do and its potential impact on the entire world.

Extreme Leaders demonstrate a bold and blatant disregard for normal constraints. Not in an impudent manner, but in a courageous I-want-to-change-the-world way. In three sentences or less, explain how you plan to change the world through your work.

Provide Proof – Prove yourself through significant, observable, daily actions.

It’s easy to talk a good game, but Extreme Leaders back up their talk with their behaviors. Write down three ways you are “proving” that you love your work, team and/or customers; three ways the people around you see your energy; and three audacious things you are doing to change the world.

Extreme Leaders put their skin in the game and make a difference in the world, no matter what the environment. Nothing is too mundane or too routine that it can’t become part of something bigger and better. So don’t be content with everyday leadership and everyday results.

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Best Practices Growth Leadership Personal Development

Boy, If You Don’t Stop

 

Aubrey “DRAKE” Graham is a Grammy-Award winning R&B/Hip-Hop artist. His unique style of soft rap that deals with difficult subjects has propelled him on Billboard charts. Recently his work was rewarded when he received 13 awards at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards. This is the greatest number of accolades ever given to an artist in a single year at this event.

Thirteen awards means giving thirteen acceptance speeches. The one that stands out is the second one. After giving shout-outs of appreciation to Vanessa Hudgens, Nicki Minaj and Ludacris, Drake gave a shout-out to his father, Dennis Graham.

Drake’s dad, a drummer who worked with Jerry Lee Lewis, attended the event wearing a purple suit and purple shoes. He looked exceptional. Drake yelled out to his father, “Boy, if you don’t stop!” That started a frenzy of comments because of the phrase.

“Boy, if you don’t stop” was something not heard before. It set off a surge of comments. Moreover, it set off a controversy. Drake made the comment as a compliment to his father. It was referring to how his dad looked in the purple suit and shoes. In essence, Drake was saying his father rocked the suit and looked fantastic.

Some people took, “Boy, if you don’t stop” as a criticism.  Their thought was there’s a conflict between father and son that was being revealed. People wondered what had caused such a disagreement that Drake would take that moment to expose it. Consequently, they went about spreading their meaning to anyone who would listen.

How can a simple statement like, “Boy, if you don’t stop” be interpreted in opposite ways. It goes back to the problem we are having today with communication. Those hearing the message are not listening, they are interpreting. Instead of figuring out what the speaker said they are coming up with their own message.

Communication is the interchange of words. The purpose is to share knowledge, opinions, and facts. The value of this interchange is only as good as the receiver understanding what the speaker is saying. Otherwise communication did not occur.

Today people put in their own meaning as to what someone is saying. They aren’t listening. They do not try to capture what the speaker is saying. The point of communication is to impart what one person knows to another. If someone walks away from a conversation with what they thought instead of what was said there was no interchange. No message was delivered. No communication took place.

When involved in a conversation, listen to attain what is being shared. It doesn’t make sense to put in your own thoughts about what a person says. You are just listening to yourself. You haven’t learned anything. Why did you even get in a conversation with someone if you weren’t going to listen to them?

Listen, not interpret. Even if you disagree with them there is always something you can learn. If you don’t understand what they are saying, ask them. If you are unable to ask them then look at the context they said it in. The words surrounding the part you are questioning will give you a clue to what the speaker meant. Just like with Drake. Right before he gave a shout-out to his dad, he was complementing Vanessa Hudgens and Nicki Minaj. Drake was complementing his father and he did it in a big way. “Boy, if you don’t stop!”

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Motivate Your Team

Have you ever felt that if you could just motivate your team everything would be better? Why aren’t they motivated? Why don’t they want to do what needs to be done?

One of the reasons your team might not be as motivated as you would like is because people are not completely motivated by external factors, or at least they are not motivated by them for very long. A leader can inspire someone to action, but true, long-lasting motivation can only come from within the individual.

Think about something you have done that did not come from you, but had external forces behind it. Maybe it was where you went to school, what you majored in, a project at work, chores around the house, exercise, etc.

Now don’t get me wrong there are lots of projects and chores that come from external sources, but what I’m talking about for these has to do with being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I bet you can come up with several situations where you excelled at tasks that you were given control over doing a way that felt good for you and other situations where you dreaded what you had to do because the motivation was not from within. When you get to create the path you are going to take it is much more motivating than when someone else tries to create it for you.

Since long lasting motivation must come from within you probably want to know how to create motivation in others, like your team or your employees. The following are three ways you can tap into key motivators to create engagement, which is one of the pieces of a high performance team.

 

First – Alignment

You want to align people with the work they do in a way that allows them to contribute who they are to a task. That means if someone loves creating systems and complex problems don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work and if someone else loves working in a group and brainstorming don’t put them at a desk where they have to work for hours alone with no input from others.

These of course are simplified examples, but the point I’m getting at is that when people are able to contribute in a way that lights them up there is little they won’t do to contribute. They will work with more focus, more dedication, more consistency, and they will go above and beyond.

 

Second – The Big Picture

People want to know how they fit into the big picture. How does their work help the organizations goals? What is it that they do that helps the corporate mission? People are truly motivated by purpose and in many cases more motivated by purpose than money. But they have to know the purpose and they have to also believe in it. This is especially true if you want to tap into the powerful energy that Millennials will bring to your workforce.

 

Third – Continued Growth

Once you have people in the right role who understand and believe in the team’s purpose, you must encourage their development. Learning new things that interest them and continued growth motivates people. They want to know they have opportunities within the team or organization to move up and grow. I don’t know very many people who say, “I’m good where I am, and I don’t want to do anything more, learn anything new, or make more money.” While the initial driver may or may not be long-term financial growth, people want to know they have somewhere to go with you or they will go somewhere else.

Take some time to reflect on what motivates you and start to look at what motivates those around you. Remember, just because something motivates you does not mean it will do the same for the rest of your team. If you want to learn more about the tools I use to help individuals and teams clarify their direction and understand who they are better visit www.c-suiteresults.com and check out the Core Value Index.

One of your jobs as a leader is to inspire those around you so that they are motivated to contribute fully, which will result in improved engagement, higher employee retention, and better overall results for them and of course for you. See how you can use these tips to amplify their motivation and help create better results for everyone on your team.

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Reframing the Perception of Conflict

 

At some point or other, we’ve all taken leadership style or personality “tests,” whether the DISC assessment, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or one of myriad others on the market. But one scale I haven’t seen explicitly identified on any commercially available tools is how people perceive conflict.

 

Notice I did not say how they handle conflict. In my experience, a critical factor is whether and how people perceive conflict in the first place, as that is the catalyst that triggers the response. Once you start to see how differently people experience the concept of “conflict,” it becomes remarkably clear why they engage in it or avoid it the way that they do, and how you need to handle a situation in order to get the results you want in a way that is both collaborative and effective.

 

First, think about conflict not as a yes-or-no issue, but on a gray scale, with “peace” and “war” at the opposite extremes, separated by a wide range of degrees of intensity, which might look something like this:

Because of the range of degrees of this scale, the issue becomes one of personal tolerance, kind of like your personal tolerance for spicy food. These different degrees of conversational intensity, such as disagreement, debate and fight, always exist. At that point, the question then becomes at what point you start to feel a sense of genuine anxiety, and when that anxiety reaches a level that is intolerable, which makes you want (or need) to end the conversation – whether through fight or flight.

 

For people who tend to have a lower tolerance for conflict-related anxiety, they may view the scale like this:

 

From their perspective, they can only have a conversation comfortably as long as they know that they will not have to discuss anything that will make either or both people unhappy, because unhappiness reflects conflict, and conflict triggers anxiety, which is not tolerable. This is why people who are highly conflict-averse may tend to avoid engaging in some important conversations. Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War Tolerable Anxiety Intolerable Anxiety Peace/Agreement Discussion Disagreement Debate Argument Fight Battle War 2 Ironically, it is often through the efforts and extents people go through in attempt to avoid conflict that they end up making a bad situation worse, as problems are allowed to fester

 

On the other hand, people who have a higher tolerance for conflict-based anxiety may view the scale more like this:

To these people, a good intellectual debate is just that: a debate, to explore the differences in ideas, whether for the purposes of trying to learn from each other, or to persuade the other person to change their view. As long as the discourse doesn’t get personal, most commentary is fair game.

 

Often people with much higher tolerance conflate being blunt with being efficient. Needless to say, this is also not a particularly good way to lead, if your goal is to build loyal and effective teams and customer relationships.

 

I strongly encourage you to share the models with your team and have an open discussion to compare where people identify their own tolerance levels. Once you understand how you perceive conflict and at what point that conflict puts you in a state of intolerable anxiety, especially relative to someone else’s tolerance, you’ll be better able to understand why your response to conflict defaults a certain way. Only then will it be possible to discover what you need to do to promote open discussion in a way that creates trust, and increases productivity and overall success.

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Quickly Increase your Performance

You have likely lost sleep at some point in your career trying to figure out what you could do to increase your performance at work or the performance of your team. If you are a leader with high ambition and big goals, it makes sense that you have given this a lot of thought.

I want to talk about one key skill that you can apply immediately to increase your own performance or help your team apply it for maximum results. You don’t need to buy anything, log onto anything, or spend time reading technical manuals. All you need to do is listen.

That’s right I’m talking about improving your listening skill as a way to increase your performance.

Ineffective listening is the cause of many breakdowns between co-workers, teams, and companies as well as the cause of many accidents. With ineffective listening instructions get missed, production decreases, sales and customers are lost, and personality clashes create poor morale.

When you are in a conversation are you more focused on talking or listening? We often forget that there are two parts of communicating, one is talking and the other is listening and in all actuality listening is the more important of the two components.

Poor listening habits can often be attributed to a lack of training and like any skill, listening can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

When you communicate through focused listening you build better relationships that will help take you personally and professionally to the next level of your success. When you want to make an important sale you have to know your client or customer, what their problems are and then communicate how you can solve their problem. Without listening you are going to miss out on the key facts you need to build that relationship and make the sale. Your client does not want to hear you talk about you and how great you are, they want you to listen to them and tell them how you can fix their problems.

The same is true for listening to your co-workers and team members; you have to know who they are in order to help motivate them to work the long hours on the priority project or to go above and beyond for the client. When you listen to those you work with you understand what drives them and that allows you to create stronger teams and more loyal employees. You know that turnover is very costly and this is one aspect of retaining employees, letting them know you are listening and that you care about them through your actions, which start with listening.

When your intent in communicating is all about what you are going to say next, you are not truly listening. I know you are conscious of how rude it is to interrupt another person while having a conversation and if you are thinking to yourself during the same conversation “what am I going to say next,” you are in effect doing the same thing. You did interrupt them because you were not listening, so what they just said may as well not been said since you didn’t hear it.

This makes listening the key step to a good conversation and even more importantly a tough conversation. You want to listen to understand, listen to gather information, and listen with no interruption (audibly or in your head.)

Once you have listened and heard what the other person is telling you, then you have the opportunity to talk. But your turn to talk means clarifying what they have said, making sure they know you heard them, and confirming what they want and need.

The goal of most communication should be to have the other person do more of the talking while you guide the conversation with open-ended questions that are meant to be clarifying and compassionate. When you have clarified everything you can then ask them “do you mind if I share with you my thoughts on this situation?” Most likely they are ready to hear your thoughts because you took the time to listen and they felt heard. At this point they really do want to know what you think.

You can also let them feel heard by saying “I hear that this is stressful for you and that makes sense based on what you told me…..” Get their confirmation that you hard them correctly and ask if you can share some ideas that might help. They are ready to hear what you have to share because they appreciate the time you took to really hear them even if what you have to share is not good news.

The other thing to remember is that what you say is important, but how you say it is just as important if not more important. People will remember how you made them feel long after they have forgotten what you actually said. If you can remain calm and compassionate they are going to feel it and appreciate you.

Next time someone comes to you with a problem or an idea make sure you are ready to fully listen and if it’s not a time where you can give them your undivided attention tell them that. Say “now is not a good time for me to be fully present, can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” Let them know what they have to say is important and you want to be sure you are fully present to hear them. Remember people want to be heard and they will appreciate this, which goes a long way with clients and employees.

Not only will this help improve your performance as you start to hear more ideas around you, it will create bonds with those who need and want your services.

 

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com

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Dads: Raise Your Daughters to be CEOS

Father’s Day is coming up, so in the spirit of honoring the male role models in our lives, I’d like to share a special note with all the dads and other men (and women) out there about how to raise your daughters to be a successful, confident and happy future executive.

Over the years, I’ve spoken in front of myriad professional women’s groups, and coached women at every level and in every industry imaginable, and one factor regularly surfaces as having a major influence on their current levels of confidence and self-efficacy: their relationship with their fathers.

I often get asked how I’ve developed my confidence and sense of self, and more and more I realize how much of the credit goes to my father (and mother) for setting this foundation in me in all these ways and more.

Dad (a music teacher) encouraged me to audition for all-state band (I played the alto sax), which I did all four years of high school, even though I only made it once. After each audition, we’d talk about what went right and wrong and how to do better next time.

He pushed me to take honors classes but didn’t flinch when I agreed to take AP history and Spanish but not calculus (thank goodness!)

(I’ll probably get flack for this, but I’m going to mention it anyway.) He also always told me I was pretty, even when my ever-fluctuating adolescent weight was on the top end of the yo-yo curve. To a teenage girl’s self-esteem, it mattered. A lot.

When I decided to go for my PhD instead of getting a “regular job” he asked probing questions so we could discuss the pros and cons and the best way to make it work.

And he never once gave me a guilt trip about my biological clock or his (undeniable) desire for grandchildren even though I was 40 before I finally met my husband.

He let me know that he recognized my efforts and intentions, trusted my judgment and respected my decision, even when we didn’t see eye to eye.

Most importantly, even when I had genuinely messed up, even though he was really upset with me in the moment, he never belittled me or called me names, and he made it clear that he still loved me.

So for all you parents, here are four strategies for how to communicate with your daughters in a way that builds her confidence and empowers her with the skills and perspective to be a successful leader:

  • Talk to your daughter. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations, and ask tough and sometimes personal questions to help her think through things, then be prepared to listen. Listen to truly understand her motivations rather than to identify the holes in her argument and formulate your rebuttal.
  • Challenge her to try new things, and set ambitious but attainable goals. Celebrate victories, acknowledge and praise progress and efforts. Recognize the difference between when to say, “it’s okay, you can’t win ‘em all” and “I don’t think you really gave it your best. What happened?”
  • Invite her to initiate difficult conversations with you instead of hiding her true feelings.
  • Even when she does make a mistake or otherwise does something you don’t approve of, make it clear that the you think the decision or action was dumb, not that she is stupid. Then – possibly an hour or so later after you’ve cooled off – remind her that you love her and are proud of her no matter what.

If you can fine-tune your objectivity regarding this aspect of your relationship with your daughters now – no matter what their age or family or professional status – that sets a foundation for success that no fancy MBA can match!

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!