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Do You Know How To Better Control Negotiations?

“Control is something that everyone seeks in life. Achieve greater control by knowing how and what to control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“I’m not sure who was being manipulated, us or the opposing negotiators. They seemed to be negotiating by a hidden power source. Over the 3-week course of the negotiation, they constantly took exception with the positions they adopted. Something kept making them change their position!” Those were the words of an overly befuddled negotiator as he lamented about the tactics the opposing negotiation team employed.

In every negotiation, there are four factors that you should be aware of. Those factors have a profound impact on the flow and outcome of the negotiation. Thus, if you’re aware of how and when to use them, you’ll have better control of the #negotiation. Those factors are money, power, ego, and control.

Money

Some people are motivated by money for its purchasing value. Others use it as a way to keep score (i.e. point the direction of their success, up or down). In either case, the outcome of the negotiation may hinge on the perception one has of how much he gained, compared to how much you got and/or he left you with.

If you’re engaged in a negotiation with someone of this mindset, realize that money is the source through which he’ll evaluate the negotiation’s outcome. To combat this mindset, speak in terms of money per how he’ll lose opportunities if he doesn’t accept your offers. You can also use scarcity (i.e. the offer will only last a short time) to motivate him to take action sooner versus later. Keep in mind that you may possess something more valuable to him than money.

Power

Everyone wants the semblance of power. You need to know their sense of power in order to understand what source(s) might stimulate them to action (i.e. why they want it, what they’ll do with it, how it will make them feel).

Once you understand their sense and source(s) of power, you’ll have greater insight as to how to advantage it. Addressing it may be in the form of allowing the other negotiator to think he has power, based on the demeanor you project (i.e. someone that’s non-confrontational, go along to get along).

Ego

Everyone has an ego. In some negotiations, it may behoove you to deny the recognition of someone’s prestige, accomplishments, or whatever recognition sought from you by the other negotiator. The lack of recognition, related to one’s achievements, can be a powerful strategy to employ. You can withhold or extend acclamations until he acclimates to your position.

You can use praise for this purpose. You’d stroke his ego, when appropriate, to keep him aligned with the outcome you seek. Vary the degree of stroking based on the intent and outcome sought! In either case, make him feel that he’s earned what you grant him.

Control

Control is a human factor that determines how safe or unsafe someone feels. Like the other factors mentioned, control is perceptional. Thus, if you think you have or don’t have it, you’re right.

To create the façade of the other negotiator having control in the negotiation, make concessions that may appear to be to your detriment; red herrings can be used for this purpose. In some cases, granting control at the appropriate time can be a way to control the negotiation. Before granting it, know it’s perceived value.

When you utilize the four factors mentioned above in your negotiations, you’ll be better positioned to use those factors to your benefit. Doing so will allow you to maximize your negotiation efforts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#control #negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Women In Business

Who’s Shaping Your Perspective?

“Your thought process is shaped by the filter through which you view life. To better understand it, understand who controls the lens through which your thought process is filtered.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Do you really know what shapes your opinions and perspectives?

Most people don’t like to be told how to think. They want to maintain their independence and being told what to think infringes upon that. Nevertheless, most people don’t realize that they’re being primed to think a particular way, based on who and what they allow to become part of their thinking process.

No one has to tell you how to think in order to influence your thought process. Instead, all they have to do is tell you what to think about. Once you accept their premises, they’ve begun to steer your thought process towards one direction versus another. That’s the reason why you should be mindful of where your information comes from. Those sources have their own bent on what reality is. As they pass their perspectives to you, they’re also passing on the perspectives of how you should think about a situation.

In order to be more open-minded in your thought process, be more open-minded about the sources from which you gather information. You’ll be able to have an open mind by listening to the perspectives of others from a pro and con point of view. Once you do that, you’ll be better informed and able to understand any point of view from a more concise outlook.

People will always attempt to sway your thoughts to those that appeal to theirs. There’s nothing unnatural about that. It’s a form of validation per the way they think.

The point is, always maintain an open mind by being willing to listen to opinions that might differ from yours. The value of doing so will come in the form of your mind becoming more expanded. That will allow you to expand your thought processes even more, which in turn will allow you to understand the perspective of others better … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

When negotiating, you must keep an open mind about how you’re thinking. In order to negotiate more effectively, you need to understand the thought process of the other negotiator too, and how she came to have that mindset; you can influence her mindset by what you suggest she think about. Once you have the insight by which she thinks, you’ll have a better understanding of why she adopts the stances she takes and why she makes the offers that she extends. The added benefit will be in being able to understand her better. At a minimum, that should allow you to have more empathy for her and her position. If you can get her to reciprocate, both of you will be able to engage in the negotiation from a more civil and open process. A silent benefit of that will be a less stressful negotiation, and when it comes to a negotiation, the more stress you can remove from it, the easier the negotiation becomes.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#YourPerspective #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

7 Characteristics of a Bully and Why You Should Care

“In order to deal with a bully, you must know what one looks like.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“He will lie to your face, and not give a damn if you know he’s lying!” Those were the exasperated words of one member on the same negotiation team to another.

Do you know anyone that possesses the following 7 characteristics? If so, they just might be a bully.

When involved in #negotiations with someone that’s overly aggressive or someone that’s an outright bully, you should take note of the following characteristics to identify who he is.

1. Bullies tend to be egocentric. They have to be the center of attention in order to satisfy their need to appear superior to others. Thus, they will belittle, demean, and put others down to maintain the appearance of their superiority.

2. Observe a bully’s associates. Bullies tend to bring like-minded people that are weaker and like himself into his fold; he uses the former as foils in the plots he perpetrates against others. The caveat being, the bully needs to be the leader and will only allow those in his immediate sphere that will subjugate themselves to him. Therefore, be mindful of the fact that unknowingly you’re also negotiating with his minions when you’re negotiating with him.

3. Bullies alter facts to make them fit the situation. Doing so is his attempt to psychologically arrest the logical thought process of others, in an attempt to bend their outlook to his will and perspective. When negotiating with him, be selective about the points you choose to address and be mindful of the retorts you offer to refute him. Facts may be viewed as demonic objects that cause you to lose sway with him.

4. Loyalty between a bully and his associates is good as long as there are no threats in his camp. Once threats occur, loyalty loses its two-way appeal; the appeal is revealed as nothing more then a tool he employs to trick others into following him. He will throw supporters under the bus and find blame with them to account for his short-comings!

5. A bully seeks constant praise from others because that feeds his ego and his need for self-aggrandizement. It serves as validation that he’s superior to others. Therefore, seek ways to praise a bully in a negotiation. That will endear you to him. Just make sure not to fall into his attempts to pull you closer to his views than is necessary.

6. Bullies lie incessantly because their view has to be the predominant one. Thus, they attempt to alter the outlook of others to make others conform to their perspective. This action of the bully is very dangerous because one never really knows what to believe when a bully speaks.

7. The only way a bully can rise to his perch is to do so by keeping others under the spell that he casts. Once he loses any appeal that makes others bow to him, he can become more aggressive in his attempts to reacquire the power he’s lost. That’s when he’s most dangerous. During such times, he may engage in activities that are very far outside the realm of rationality.

Dealing with bullies is always a dicey proposition. Being oblivious to his characteristics can lead to a stressful negotiation, one in which you may lose before you realize what has occurred. If you use the 7 traits above to identify with whom you’re dealing, you’ll have an idea of what you’re up against. From there, you can be on guard as to how you engage him in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Are You Being Hurt by the Perception of Power?

“Power is perceptional and fluid. As it shifts, it’s strengthened or diluted. Know the direction of its flow when making decisions.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Always recognize when you’re in a state of euphoria and control your actions appropriately.

“He was great! I feel energized! Now, I believe I can accomplish all of my goals. That’s why I bought his $4,999 Super Deluxe Program!”

Such were the words of a young man in his late 20s. He had just attended a seminar where he was pumped up, while unknowingly his wallet was being deflated. In a few short months, he’d come to regret spending his money on that Deluxe Program. By then he’d be jobless and unable to pay his rent.

How are you victimized by the influence of perceived power? To what degree are you mentally manipulated by it?

When you sense power, it can be like an aphrodisiac. It stirs up arousal deeply in your soul. It releases endorphins within you and makes you momentarily feel like you rule the world. Yeah, it’s a good feeling! The problem or challenge that you might consider is, what form of manipulation are you under when you’re having such sensations and what will be the cost that you pay later?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, pumped up by the environment you’re in, realize what’s happening to you. You’re in a state of euphoria. While in that state your normal mode of rationalization is hijacked. You see yourself, and you become something that’s bigger than normal; you become and feel invincible.

The reason it’s so important to recognize when you find yourself in such a state is due to the actions you might commit while in that mindset. First, it’s a feeling of being on a natural high, which you want to maintain psychologically. That means you’ll engage in behaviors to sustain that feeling. You’ll even engage in behaviors that may later prove to be to your detriment. Then, when it’s time to pay the piper, you may experience insufficient funds to do so.

No matter what environment you’re in, always aspire to maintain self-control. That means, control your emotions and don’t let your emotions control you, or your actions. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, one ploy that negotiators use is an offer that appears to be too good. At first, you may be skeptical of it and upon deeper examination adopt the adage of, one should not look a gift horse in the mouth (i.e. accept it for what it is and be thankful). Some negotiators will even disguise this ‘gift’ as a mistake they made that turns out to be to your benefit. The purpose of the ‘gift offering’ is to get you into a state of euphoria so you disconnect your normal reasoning process.

Suffice it to say, the more aware you are of controlling your emotions in a negotiation, the sharper will be your decision-making process. You’ll be less likely manipulated by the misperception of perceived power, which means you’ll be less likely to be victimized by it.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #EmotionalControl #Relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

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How to Use ‘Even-If’ to Win Hard Negotiations

“Even if you’re right about being wrong, you’re right. There’s power in the use of the ‘even-if’ proposition.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

To what degree do you seek creative solutions when involved in hard-nosed negotiations? Such negotiations can be extremely demanding and fraught with stress. When coupled with someone that’s a hard-type negotiator (i.e. a negotiator that either has a zero-sum perspective of the negotiation or someone that thrives on being obstinate in a negotiation), you can find yourself making unplanned concessions if you’re not mindful of what you’re doing.

One way to employ a creative solution when involved in a hard negotiation, is to use the ‘even-if’ strategy. It can quicken the pace on the path to a successful negotiation outcome. While it can be a viable ploy for you, you need to also be watchful of it being used against you.

What is the ‘even-if’ strategy:

Stated succinctly, the even-if strategy allows its user to stealthily subordinate the other negotiator’s proposition to his. The strategy avoids potential conflicts that might occur if the other negotiator’s point was addressed prior to addressing yours. Thus, using this strategy successfully, allows you to put your point into the forefront of the discussion and it alters the flow of the negotiation.

How to use ‘even-if’:

The strategy can be used to make your point prior to addressing the other negotiator’s perspective. It’s done in the hopes that your point will dilute or alter his thought process. To use the strategy, you can say something akin to, “even if we could save $10 million by accepting your offer, at this time, we do not have that much money to invest. I suggest we look at a solution that may be closer to the $5 million threshold.” By doing this, as stated above, you’ve repositioned yourself and his offer by utilizing this strategy in this manner.

Best time to employ ‘even-if’:

Anytime you wish to subordinate the opposing negotiator’s point or request to yours, is a good time to employ this strategy. While this strategy can be used at any point in any negotiation, it’s even more powerful when used with someone that’s aggressive or someone that attempts to bully you. In that case, the strategy mollifies the bully. You’re not stating that he’s crazy or irrational for making such an outlandish request, you’re first acknowledging him from a respectful aspect and simply stating that you can’t meet his offer. In so doing, you potentially side-step any aggressive behavior that might stem from his otherwise abusive demeanor.

How to defend from ‘even-if’:

Since this strategy is used to put one proposition on the table for discussion ahead of another, you should be mindful of when the other negotiator attempts to use this strategy against you. The way to defend against it is to simply state, ‘Okay, let’s discuss your point next.’ You can use the tonality of your voice to position this as a request or a statement. Then, go right into the point that you wanted to discuss. A smart negotiator may not let you get away with your attempt to place your agenda ahead of his. Thus, you must be prepared to decide if you’ll acquiesce on one point to receive a concession on your request later. Therein lies another way you can use this strategy. If you get into a give-and-take as to whose point will be discussed first, you can present a point that’s nothing more than a red herring to be sacrificed for this purpose.

Even if (wink) you never use this strategy, knowing about it will make you a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Sales Skills Women In Business

Your Mind Has Been Primed

“Like priming for paint, future actions are primed by the past.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Consider this – for the next 20 seconds, think about a time when you were most happy in your life. Please, do it!

Okay, did you do it? Did you think about a time when you were most happy in your life? If you did, now I’d like you to think about someone that you had a recent dispute with, someone that angered you. Is the image of that occasion duller than it was prior to thinking of a happier time? If it wasn’t, you need to learn how to let go of things that cause you angst. You’re only hurting yourself by hanging on to hurtful thoughts. If the memory of the spat you had with someone recently subsided, even if it’s just a smidgen, you were primed by the happy thought you engaged in before recalling that negative situation.

So, what does this mean? It means, when you have pleasant thoughts about past occurrences, the thoughts that follow do not appear to be as harsh. Of course, with the passage of time, your mind will gravitate back to what’s normal for it, related to how you view things that occur in your life. But, that also means that you can control how you view such occurrences. Thus, if you choose to prime your mind with thoughts of happier times, you can choose how you react to everything that occurs to you.

Priming your mind is the door through which you can choose to move in a more positive direction in life. It can also be used to highlight the negative aspects of your life, if you choose not to be positive. The point is, the choice is always yours.

I don’t wish to oversimplify this concept, but it really is simple. You have the power to choose how you feel and how you’ll react to everything that happens to you. Realize that power, control that power, use that power in a positive manner … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations? 

In a negotiation, your mind is primed by what has occurred in prior negotiations that you’ve been a party to. Realize that as a fact and be mindful of the prejudices you possess going into the negotiation. Plus, if you wish the other negotiator to be in a more pleasant state of mind, prime him with positive thoughts about his past before entering into parts of the negotiation that might be fraught with potential peril.

Engaging in a negotiation with the thought of how you’ll prime yourself, and the other negotiator, will give you greater insight into how you can sidestep potential pitfalls. It will also allow you to be quicker in the avoidance of those pitfalls.

Quick, think about a lucky leprechaun. Did you see a little person in green? Now, think of a number between 1 and 10. Did you think of the number 7? If you did, you displayed to yourself the effects of priming. Most people associate a leprechaun with good luck and someone attired in green. If you didn’t think of a little person in green or the number 7, that’s okay. You think differently than most people. Be aware of that.

Priming works – use it and it will work for you in your negotiations.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #Priming #mindpriming #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveyourself #Achievement

 

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In Negotiations With A Bully Watch Your Hidden Thoughts

“A hidden thought can lead your thinking into a dead-end. Avoid dead-end thinking. Be alert when engaging your mind in its thought process.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

In negotiations with a bully, you have to watch your hidden thoughts, or those thoughts will have you thinking wrong.

“You have to beat them like they’ve done something really bad. Whip them until their insides are mashed. Can you do that? Will you do that?”

After reading the above, what are your initial thoughts? What images came to mind? Were they the images of a tough guy giving an edict to his underlings, that they dare not disobey? Or, did you consider that something other then the questions posed was occurring?

The thoughts you had about the opening statements, and the images that came to your mind, where determined by what you’ve experienced in life and the outcomes of those experiences. That means, to a degree, your thoughts began to formulate as soon as you read the first few words of the statement. Then, your mind jumped ahead of what you were reading to assume where the unread words would take you. That’s good, and it’s dangerous. The good part stems from the way you assimilate information. The bad part stems from not monitoring your expectations before jumping to judgment.

The words at the opening of this article were spoken by a chef to one of the cooks in an establishment that both were employed. The chef was referring to the correct way to make an omelet. Thus, he was talking about beating and whipping eggs to obtain a certain degree of consistency to make omelets more palatable.

When negotiating with a bully, you must be more cognizant of the way you think. Your thought process will be altered, in the prefrontal cortex area of your brain, the brain region in which complex behavior – decision making – and the moderation of social behavior occurs. This part of your brain will become more active due to the bully’s demeanor. You may experience a higher degree of emotions stemming from the perception of a threat, be it implicit or explicit. Such an emotional state may cause you to disengage from your normal thought process, which could lead you into that dead-end mentioned at the top of this article.

To combat your hidden thoughts, take into consideration what the bully is saying versus what he’s doing. If there’s a disconnect between his words and his actions, pay more attention to his actions (e.g. he says he’s going to run you into the ground in this negotiation while backing away from you and/or smiling nervously). Having this insight and using it to calculate your next action will allow you to think more clearly. That will also allow you to uncover any hidden thoughts that might create a sense of being overly fearful of a negative occurrence being projected on to you.

Negotiating with a bully is always a challenging proposition, but that proposition can be lessened by thinking about the way you think. Heighten your sense of awareness when negotiating with a bully, by being aware of where your thought processes are leading your thoughts … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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The Value of Relationships – Long Versus Short

“Life’s value-add is perceptional. Manage your expectations to better assess the sources from which value can be attracted to your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are the relationships you’re in adding or subtracting value from your life? It’s a serious question to ponder and one to reassess daily.

Too many times we wake up one morning and realize that we’re no longer living the ideal life we seek. Depending on the severity of that realization, we go into a state of panic, brought on by thoughts of uneasiness. You know when things aren’t right in your life! It’s usually a terse feeling that emanates from your gut that delivers the message. Then, you may appear to be erratic to those who know you, which may cause them to reevaluate the value you’re bringing to their life. That can set off a vicious cycle fraught with angst and anxiety. The question then becomes, what’s a person to do to maintain some sense of equilibrium in their life? The answer lies in the relationships you have with others.

If you find yourself in toxic relationships, at work, at home, etc., change them! Seek to alter the dynamics of the relationships that drag you down emotionally and/or physically. It may be difficult to do but consider the cost of your sanity, your wellbeing. Weigh the cost of that against the difficulty that change might require.

When engaging with people, consider the value you add to their life and they to yours. Some people will be with you for life (long-term) others for a season (short-term). Accept this mentally, understand it and don’t allow it to become a conundrum when it’s time to move on. Don’t get wrapped up thinking that you have to stay with people due to the time you’ve known them; such thoughts will make you sentimental, which will jade your emotions and thought process about moving on. There are others that want to add value to your life, but you won’t find them holding on to those that don’t.

When you know you’re in short-term environments, treat those in it as though they may become long-term associates. Doing so may turn them into long-term allies, but don’t become fixated on the thought that they’ll be with you through thick and thin. Having such a mindset will allow moving on to be less jerky. If someone stays in your life longer than what had been anticipated, because they were adding value, be thankful. You’ve been blessed … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

With some people, a negotiation may be transactional, not intended to be of long-term value. That’s okay. Knowing the parameters of this type of relationship allows you to be better positioned to engage in the negotiation. After all, when you negotiate, you never know who will truly fit into a long-term relationship until you examine their values. Evaluate such closely and from different perspectives. What you eventually find may not be what you initially saw, and what you initially saw may be something that you initially didn’t expect.

The point is, keep your emotions grounded in all of your relationships. Accept people for the value they add to your life, and the value you add to theirs.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#NegotiatingWithABully #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Perception #ControlLife #Control #leadership #HowToImproveYourself #Achievement

 

 

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Watch Emotional Abuse When Negotiating With A Bully

“Emotional abuse only occurs when you allow the abuser to control you. To defeat him, control his abusive efforts.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When negotiating with a bully, watch the emotional abuse you incur and mind your responses to it.

Bullies make some people experience an array of feelings in a negotiation. They do so for the pleasure of feeling superior to the other negotiator in an effort to exert their dominance. The emotional feelings they attempt to invoke can range from fear to hate to happiness. Yes, bullies can make you feel happy as the result of relinquishing the pressure they’ve applied to you. That’s another reason why you should monitor your emotions. You want to check them so you can display the proper response, based on your position in the negotiation at particular points. When it comes to watching your emotions take note of the following.

Fear:

Fear can invoke primal actions within you. When fearful, your normal thought process shuts down. Depending on the degree of fear you experience, your body prepares for a fight, flight, or freeze scenario. That deliberation can cause you to be thrown off your negotiation game (i.e. forget the negotiation strategies you’d planned to implement).

When you sense that you’re experiencing fear in a negotiation, note its cause. Consider to what degree its source will devastate you and your future position. The point is, diminish your thoughts of fear by contemplating how you can assuage it before continuing the negotiation, and recognize when it has you in its grips.

Anger:

Anger is another stealer of normal thoughts. It can be stoked by fear, which is also the reason you should control your perspective of fear and ager.

When angered, you can lose your perspective and rationalization. Thus, to negotiate from a mindset of anger will not serve you, it serves the other negotiator, instead.

Therefore, be aware of when the other negotiator is intentionally attempting to gouge you by instilling fear into the negotiation. Also, be mindful of what his attempts might look like before entering the negotiation. This can be accomplished by role-playing ahead of time. Just be mindful of elucidating your mind to how fear might be used against you, and be prepared to thwart such efforts.

Happiness:

Most people seek happiness as a constant state of mind. Our body seeks it too. Thus, when we’re not in a state of happiness, our mind will attempt to guide our actions back towards that state. It will also do ‘things’ to stay in that state, even if those ‘things’ are to our future detriment. It’s because of the latter that you should be hyper-vigilant when you’re in a state of happiness that’s been caused by a bully’s actions. You may not be off the hook. Instead, you may have been unknowingly placed deeper onto one.

To combat a bully’s effort to mentally manipulate you through the use of happiness, understand his motives for doing so. If his efforts don’t serve you, don’t appease him by succumbing to this tactic. Remain stern.

Anyone’s emotions can be strained when negotiating with a bully. Suffice it to say, you should stay on top of your emotions when negotiating with a bully more so than with other types of negotiators. Bullies can invoke extreme passion within you, which is why it’s so important to be mindful. If you’re aware of what can ‘set you off’, and not allow it to cloud your actions or judgment under such circumstances, you’ll be able to think clearer and negotiate better. That alone will give the bully cause for doubt, which means you’ll be turning his tactics against him. Doing so will allow you to maintain greater control in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How To Uncover Hidden Secrets In Negotiations

“Secrets are cloaked in darkness until they’re exposed by light. When suspension falls on hidden secrets, let the light shine brightly.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Don’t let what you know cause you to miss what you don’t know!” Those were the words of one negotiation partner to another, after they’d concluded a negotiation that appeared to be clouded by the doubt that there may have been hidden secrets burrowed in the words of their negotiation counterpart.

Upon reflection, the speaker of those words realized that there had been signals that he’d misperceived. He wondered about those signals as he pondered to what degree they might have covered hidden secrets.

In your negotiations, how much do you miss, due to what you think you already know? There are encoded messages within the words we use to communicate. Some contain hidden messages that carry hidden thoughts.

Note the following to gain more insight into the hidden secrets in the messages sent and received in your negotiations.

1. Take note when the real meaning of a word doesn’t carry the intent of the meaning you think it’s attempting to convey. That’s to say, note when you suspect that there may be an unspoken meaning of the word(s). You’ll experience a sensation of intuition when that occurs; take heed of this phenomenon when it happens. It will be your alert signal beckoning your attention.

  • They’ll be times when you sense there’s an implied meaning that’s not conveyed in the delivery of the words spoken. When you have such a sensation, be attentive to what you sensed that drew your attention to the feeling of suspect that you have. Uncovering that hidden meaning will allow you to uncover hidden secrets that the other negotiator may be attempting to conceal.

2. When people speak of themselves in the third person, become more attentive. They’re distancing themselves from their words.

  • When negotiating, you should always be attentive to everything that’s occurring in your environment. When it comes to someone speaking in the third person, you should become more attentive. Psychologically, he’s placing distance between himself and his words. He may be doing so due to his nervousness, his desire to protect something that you’ve gotten close to uncovering, or from sensing that he may have disclosed something about his statement that’s untrue. Regardless, his action was more than likely brought on by some action the two of you were engaged in. If you sense such is the case, pursue the line of interaction that put him in his third person state of mind. There’ll be something of interest there that may benefit you in the negotiation.

3. Compare your assumptions of what you thought would occur prior to the negotiation, to what actually occurred in the negotiation.

  • Engaging in a mental reflection process at the conclusion of a negotiation will allow you greater insights, per the way you were thinking prior to the negotiation. Your post insights will allow you to sharpen your perception about the perspective occurrences of future negotiations. That, in turn, will allow you to uncover hidden thoughts about the way you think. Knowing that, should allow you to become more circumspective as you engage in future negotiation.

There will always be some form of secrecy in any negotiation. If you possess a heightened sense of awareness when perceiving suspected hidden meanings, your reward will be in the uncovering of those secrets. That will be an insight that you can use to benefit your negotiation position … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating! 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology