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We’re Not That Far Apart

Recently I was on a sales trip with Scott Good, my partner in one of my businesses. We had a lot of windshield time so as good friends and business partners often do, we got into a few terrific discussions. Since we are in business together, of course we talked about business. And yes, the touchy subjects of politics and religion were also covered. After several hours in the car together, Scott says to me “you know we really aren’t that far apart.” Now Scott is a really, smart guy (would I have a dumb guy as a partner?), but this was really, profound.

I continued to think about that statement over the next few days.

When we are applying for and negotiating for a new job at a new company, what does the company want? The company wants to utilize all your talents, so the company can thrive. Don’t you want the same thing? Don’t you want to apply all your skills and experience, so you AND the company thrive?  So, assuming you are the right fit, what’s keeping you from agreeing to the opportunity? A few bucks in the salary? Another day of vacation? If you and the employer truly communicate, you’ll find “you know we really aren’t that far apart” and you’ll make a deal that makes everyone happy.

When you are negotiating with a potential buyer for your product or service, don’t you generally set down some parameters of what the buyer can expect in terms of performance of the product or service? Of course, you do. Then you get to the final negotiations and both parties find ONE thing they want to take a position on and everyone forgets all the work that went into the discussion up to that point. Let’s all calm down and review each other’s position. Let’s talk honestly and openly of what we each want from the transaction. You will often be saying after that discussion, “you know we really aren’t that far apart”.

Some discussions are traditionally adversarial. Union / company relationships, political discussions, religious discussions, generational divides. How and why did we become so entrenched in our positions that we don’t listen to the other side of the issue? It does not have to be this way. Calm down, be open to learn something new, try to understand the other viewpoint. If we all just take 30 seconds to breath and think, we can most likely smooth out some of our differences, enough to say, “you know we really aren’t that far apart”.

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Marketing Personal Development

The Right Way to Mix Professional and Personal When You Network

Humans like putting things in categories.  Whether it is movies, music, or restaurants, it’s comfortable for us to mentally parse things into different groups. It’s one of the traits that allows us to manage a world of staggering complexity.

We also like to do it with our relationships.  We put people into relationship buckets: he’s my work colleague, she’s my friend, he’s just an acquaintance, etc.  But it’s not always as clear cut as we would like it to be.  What about a long-term client who has become a friend or a friend who you hired to work for you?

This has only been exacerbated by the advent of social networking platforms like Facebook and LinkedIn. Sure, we like to think that we can keep friends on one and business contacts on the other, but the lines get very blurry very quickly.

Doing Business with Friends

Really, social media hasn’t caused this blurring, it was always there.  It’s just made it much more obvious.

Many of us have created huge, integrated networks online.  Think of your collection of Facebook friends and Twitter followers.  It would be hard to divide these into different categories of personal, business contact, family, work friend, random person I met at a party, etc.

These integrated networks allow for a lot of cross-pollination, and that can be powerful.  In his seminal paper on network dynamics, The Strength of Weak Ties, sociologist Mark Grannovetter found that most value came from the weak connections that people had.  The impact of a relationship didn’t derive from its strength. Rather, it came from the access to new information it created.

In other words, it didn’t matter that you were best friends with everyone, what did matter is that you had a lot of connections with ties to disparate worlds.  These bridges become the conduits for new opportunities.

And many of these weak connections are in areas that aren’t traditionally business-related.  They could be friendships from your neighborhood, a civic or volunteer organization, or the religious group you belong to.  There will be a lot of overlap between your professional and personal worlds, both offline and online, and if you are savvy you can find opportunities in both.

Develop Awareness Online and Outside of the Office

So don’t shy away from having a business conversation with a friend, or feel you can’t talk about music or film with a business colleague.  Just ensure that the conversation is appropriate for the context.

My brother-in-law runs a successful real-estate firm, and I’ve done work with him and his team.  But that doesn’t mean that I walk into his office and start talking about the craziness of Thanksgiving dinner with the family.  Our relationship stays the same, but the topics of conversation vary based on where we are and what we’re doing.

By connecting your professional and personal spheres, it’s critical to ensure that your actions and behaviors work in a variety of contexts.  This is why you hear the warnings to be careful of what you post on social media sites.  You never know who is going to see a photo you post, and more importantly, you don’t know how they are going to interpret it.

When a potential employer, client, or partner can access a record of your behaviors with the click of a button, you need to ensure that your behavior won’t be held against you.  It’s the 21st century extension of the old saying that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion in polite company.  Whether you are online, at the office, or a backyard BBQ, personal/professional networks require you to be aware of how your actions and words are perceived by a wide cross-section of people.

Be the Best You

Be aware that you have to consistently act your best.  When you are straddling different worlds, you want to be the “you” that fits into any context.  But creating that mindfulness, that awareness of the impact your words and actions will have, is the foundation of a wide and varied network.  And that breadth is the key to leveraging it to move the needle on your career.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Take the 5 Step Attention Challenge

You think you’re paying attention – you’re not. We live in an attention deficit society. Technology distracts us. Social Media overwhelms us.  Daily to-do lists leave us feeling exhausted. We are constantly being asked to do more with less, to the point we have lost sight of what is important as we race each day to cross off another meaningless task or chore.

I believe in order to be influential in the world, and make a true impact on it; we must give our undivided attention to people and things that matter most in our lives. Instead, we are allowing those that are most important to compete with all of our daily distractions. It’s time to commit to change.

Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. When you decide what gets your attention, that becomes your future. I challenge you to start turning your life into one of attention abundance instead of distractions in five steps. Are you up for the challenge? It won’t be easy. It will bring to light the aspects in your life that are worthy of your focus, your time and your undivided attention.

Step 1: Identify What Matters Most

Grab a piece of paper and write down three priorities that come to mind at home, at work and in your community. Perhaps it’s the name of people, or high-profile goals. Maybe it’s a charitable cause or public service. Either way, be specific in each of the three categories and limit yourself to no more than three priorities for each. This step is going to help you identify what matters most to you, the core of you. These are the priorities that get you out of bed each morning, and give you a sense of purpose. When we attempt to define too many priorities, we dilute the meaning of those that matter most.

Step 2: Be Accountable to the Calendar

With your limited priority list now identified, it’s time to get selective with your calendar of commitments. We only get 365 days each year to reach our goals and objectives. That’s a pretty tight calendar budget if it’s not managed wisely. Consider this, if you only had $365 dollars in the bank and were forced to choose between food and jewelry – you’d choose food, right? That’s easy. So why do we think of the days in a year any differently? We are all working from the same limited budget of days, yet some are too quick to spend their days on what doesn’t matter. It’s time to be accountable to our calendar.

First, go through your work calendar and identify two meetings this week that are not necessary. If you feel the objective of the meeting can be accomplished in a simple phone call or email, choose those options instead. If you have the meetings scheduled merely out of routine and habit, they aren’t needed. If you are attending meetings and feel they are not a valuable use of your time, decline them.

Second, for those meetings you choose to keep on your work calendar, email the host and request an agenda. Take a few moments to be certain your time will be respected and used wisely. If you are the host, give respects to the attendees by creating an agenda that you commit to using and sticking to. If you want others to respect your time, you must first start by respecting theirs.

Third, at home, review your personal commitments and obligations. Have you accepted a dinner invite you didn’t really desire to attend? Perhaps you have requests for lunch, parties and gatherings that you aren’t certain how you’ll fit into your already tight calendar of events. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it’s time to employ the power of one simple word: “No.” That’s right, “no.” “No” is a complete sentence and doesn’t require explanation. Your time is your time, and only is gifted to others when their requests of it fall in line with the priorities you listed in step one. When you say “no” to some, you’re saying “yes” to whom and what matters most. Consider this – if there is a dinner invitation you’ve received that you’re not thrilled to attend, and you would rather stay home and watch a movie with your family, who is going to benefit the most from you saying “yes” to the dinner invite? You? Your family? No – the person with the invitation is the one that benefits. If they are not in your list of priorities, then you are allowing them to take time away from those truly deserving of your time.

Step 3: Be Accountable to the Clock

There are only 1,440 minutes in each day. Considering we sleep approximately 440 of those, we are left with only 1,000 minutes to accomplish what truly needs to be done each day. We are all gifted with the same amount of time in a day; how we choose to use it and prioritize it is solely up to us.

Have you ever stopped to consider the amount of time you spend each day on social media? What about watching television? How about checking email? Now, consider how much time you spend building relationships with family, friends, colleagues and clients? Who is winning your attention and what is stealing your time.

I want you to consider your day in 15 minute increments. Discipline yourself to limiting time on non-essential tasks for 15 minutes only. Dedicate at least 15 minutes of time to those that haven’t been getting it.

First, upon waking in the morning, take 15 minutes to check social media and read the news – then log off. Do not give into temptation to check it again until your next scheduled 15 minute window – either later that night or the next morning. Utilize apps that block alerts and notifications on your phone to avoid distractions they cause.

Second, review your daily calendar and challenge yourself and your team to cut back meetings to 15 minutes only. Require agendas and don’t permit devices that cause distractions. When you limit meetings to 15 minutes, you’ll reach agreements more quickly and be less likely to get lost on non-related topics.

Third, schedule 3 – 15 minutes increments time for checking email throughout your workday. When your 15 minutes is up, turn off your email and turn your attention to accomplishing projects, tasks and priorities. Move away from allowing email to run your day and dictate how your time is to be spent. Emails are just another person’s request for your time to do what they need to accomplish their tasks.

Fourth, dedicate 15 minutes each night to having one-on-one conversations with each person in your household. Give them a minimum of 15 minutes of your time without technology, tv or distractions. You’d be surprised how your relationships grow when you invest your undivided attention into them.

Fifth, allow yourself 15 minutes each day for decompression and quiet time. Give your body and your mind an opportunity to quiet and rest. Go for a walk. Take a hot bath. Get a stretch. Meditate. Either way, permit your mind to quiet down so it has an opportunity to recharge for the following day.

Step 4: Put Technology in its Place

By silencing distractions, such as smartphones, people begin to excel at their jobs, relationships and tasks. A cell phone is a crutch. It fools us into believing everything is an emergency, even when the situation is far from it. When people let go of the need to connect, they get better at sleeping, they come to work refreshed, they learn to trust their instincts, and they begin to rely on their skills and knowledge. In short, they become better leaders, better middle managers, and better employees. They also become better spouses, better parents and their quality of life grows.

First, use your Do Not Disturb function on your phone. Schedule it to turn on from 8pm to 8am each morning. This will ensure time each night is spent focused and dedicated on your personal well-being. In this time period, you can exercise, spend time in uninterrupted conversation with friends and family, sleeping and resting up for a more productive day following.

Second, do not permit technology in meetings. If you are hosting a meeting, make it known on the invite and in the agenda that your meeting is a no-phone zone. If you’re going to be cutting down meetings to 15-minute increments, every minute requires each participant’s undivided attention.

Third, make your dinner table a no-phone zone. If you are out to dinner with friends, make a deal that the first person to look at their phone has to buy dinner. If you are at dinner with your family, put all devices away and keep them off the table. Use that time to make genuine connections with those you are dining with.

Fourth, use smartphone apps to silence your phone throughout the day when you are otherwise committed to scheduled activities such as checking email, focusing on projects or accomplishing tasks. You will maximize your productivity when you keep your focus exclusively on one task as a time instead of allowing yourself to be distracted every few minutes.

Step 5: Gift Your Time

Our society depends on each of us to give the gift of our time to charitable causes and be purposeful in how we contribute to our community. Choose how you will contribute to causes that matter to you and your community. Be intentional in scheduling time to volunteer, donate and help others. Reflect back on Step 1 and what you listed as your priorities. Decide how you will contribute to aiding those causes and make the commitment to follow through.

Remember, Attention isn’t a little thing. It’s everything. What you focus on grows. What you don’t, goes. Decide what gets your attention, and allow that to become your future. Are you up to the challenge?

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Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Is Rejection Leading You?

“Don’t fear rejection. Use it as a springboard to greater growth.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

If no one follows you, will you still lead?

Sometimes, leaders will not be accepted. That can occur even if the leader is good and have positive contributions to make to the rejecter. What do you do, or what have you done, when you’ve been such situations? That’s really the time when you have the greatest opportunity for self-growth. That’s really the time when you stand to learn the most about yourself.

Consider this, if you never experienced rejection how would you recognize it? How would you know how to deal with it?

Dealing with rejection allows you to test your thought process. It allows you to test your resolve. It allows you to give rejection a name and a face. That name and face can serve as a positive or negative motivator; your perspective determines how your perception of rejection is perceived.

Understanding that you give life to ‘rejection’ by the way you define it means, you can give it any meaning that you desire. Give it a positive meaning (e.g. “That’s not rejection. It’s an opportunity to make me better!”)

It’s very important to identify how you react to the perception of rejection because in order to be a leader you have to be able to lead yourself. The only way you can lead yourself is to know what leads you (temps you), why it leads you (it’s allure), and what you should do about it if anything at all. Thus, the feeling of rejection will allow you to lead yourself to despair or exhilaration.

Identifying the reasoning behind your perceptions, where rejection is concerned, will give you a new look into how you motivate yourself, how you keep moving forward, how you stay alive. Once you experience that deeper sense of awareness, you’ll be able to use the perception of rejection as a tool for greater expectation … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Negotiations are 100% focused on the perception of rejection. That’s proven when you misperceive a gesture or offer that you think is against you. Even in that moment, the way you process information may cause you to experience the feeling of rejection.

The next time you sense rejection, slow down. Become reflective and consider what’s happening. Consider to what degree your perception is leading you to a place that won’t serve you. Consider how you can mentally turn your perception of rejection to a thought that serves you better. That will be the beginning of the shift that leads you to be more in touch with yourself. After your perception shift, you’ll be able to alter your perspective and the perception of the other negotiator.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #rejection #leadership

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

The Importance of Understanding Personalities in the Workplace

Onward Nation’s Stephen Woessner, recently interviewed me regarding the importance of understanding personality in the workplace.

To listen, go to: https://predictiveroi.com/podcasts/dr-diane-hamilton/ 

On this episode we talked about:

  • When a painful experience can lead to something that is better
  • Why you should just take action instead of overanalyzing something
  • The benefits of finding a mentor who is super-efficient & does things differently than you
  • How effective leaders create leaders from the people that they lead
  • Staying true to your personality when having conversations with people
  • Treating people how they want to be treated
  • The problem with having a team that is not diverse
  • Why personality tests can be extremely beneficial
  • Some of the biggest issues with soft skills in business settings
  • Learning everything you can about what it is you want to do
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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Marketing Personal Development

Your Brand is Only as Good as Your Distribution

If you want your idea to make money, we like to say, “Wrap it in a business, then wrap the business in a brand, and develop your brand until you can sell it!”

When we started in the wine business, we thought “Oh, the wine industry! Swirl, sniff, sip. How glamorous! Stick out your pinkie and talk about flavor profiles. Say something in French. How fun!”

We never thought we’d spend more money, energy, and time on our distribution than actually making the stuff. We thought the distribution would be handled by the distributor. We truly believed our wine was such a value that customers would break windows and bust down doors to get it. How naïve we were!

We see this same wishful thinking in other companies. Their focus is on production rather than distribution. Look at any crowd-funding website and you’ll see time and time again how “cool” their ideas are with barely any mention of how they’ll get to market—and stay there.

What’s ironic is that even the crowd investors themselves misjudge the value of distribution. More than 70% of these offerings fail despite full funding. Why? Because they ignored the low-key cornerstone to real success. Your product’s brand cannot grow without distribution.

You might say, “We can just sell it online!” But now you are selling one by one, collecting from each customer. Then, you’re competing to have the lowest prices. And now you’re spending excessive time on email and social ad campaigns. You’re trying to sell while lacking proof or comparison to other products on the market, and without established traffic open to learning about your product (as in a retail environment).

Most brands that sell a physical product online would rather be in stores. They want to be paid for one large order to fill a large chain store with their product. They want the people already in the stores to discover and purchase their product. They know their brand will grow faster in stores that can advertise them.

But how do you get there, and stay there? That is the question. And as the situation unfolds, your predetermined misconceptions bring a new reality. You realize you’re doing much more than you wanted, and it is unlike the kind of work you had planned. It has barely anything to do with production, but everything to do with getting new retail placements and never ever running out of stock. So much for flavor profiles!

Some companies find this “distribution wall” so impassable that they completely give up selling in stores—they didn’t sign up for this! Nobody told them about it. But it can be done, as long as you understand what each part of the distribution chain wants, and give them just that. Sure, it will take longer than you would’ve liked, but it’s proven and doable. We like to call it a “get rich slow” scheme!

Don’t give up on your dream of seeing your brand on store shelves just because you’ll be spending more time, energy, and effort in the marketplace. When you understand and accept what you must do to be successful, you’ll be effectively building your physical product brand, and that is distribution management!

For more, read on: http://csnetworkadvis.staging.wpengine.com/advisor/michael-houlihan-and-bonnie-harvey/

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Accounting Best Practices Body Language Economics Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Skills Women In Business

8 Words That Will Make You a Better Negotiator – Part 2

“Words have an impact! Choose impactful words carefully when negotiating, they’ll determine your degree of effectiveness.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

This article is part 2 of a two-part article. It contains an explanation of the second group of 4 words that complete the 8 words you can use to become a better negotiator. Here’s the link to part 1 of this 2 part article  http://www.themasternegotiator.com/8-words-will-make-better-negotiator-part-1-2-negotiation-tip-week/

Now imagine the new you, not limited, because you are instantly free.

There are 4 words contained in the sentence above that will make you a better negotiator. Do you know which words they are, how to use them, and why they’ll give you an advantage when negotiating? After reading this article, you’ll know why those 4 words have such power, and how to use them in your negotiations.

Communications can be challenging when negotiating. That’s one reason why you should always be mindful of the words you use, the impact they’ll have, and how such words will position you in a negotiation.

The 4 words are, now, imagine, limited, and instantly.

4. Now – The word, ‘now’, implies in the moment. You’re not in the past or future, you’re in the present moment. That’s the power of ‘now’. It makes you focus on the situation at hand while clearing the cloudiness that other aspects of the negotiation might present.

Use the word, ‘now’, to focus the other negotiator’s attention on what’s being discussed in that moment. The word can also be used to distract from items that may attempt to conflate matters that may or may not have relevance to the negotiation.

6. Imagine – ‘Imagine’ is a wonderful word to use in a negotiation. It can take the negotiation from the here-and-now to a place where happiness or dread awaits.

You can use the word, ‘imagine’ when you want to transform the other negotiator’s perspective from a more or less agreeable point to one that is more aligned with what you seek from the negotiation. Use the word, ‘imagine’, to allow him to become transfixed in an emotional state where harm does not exist or where it looms voluminously.

7. Limited – This word implies that there’s not a lot of what you’re discussing; “if you don’t grab this soon, it’ll be gone and you’ll miss out.” That’s what, ‘limited’ implies.

Good negotiators will test you when you state that something is limited. Still, if your boast is proven to be true, you’ll move the other negotiator to action by using this word as a call to action. Just be mindful of how and when you use it. If its use is proven to be untrue, you might cause irreversible harm to the negotiation.

8. Instantly – Everyone seeks gratification. For some, the need for such acquisition is greater than others. The word, ‘instantly’, implies that you can have what you seek, right now.

You can enhance a negotiation by giving the other negotiator a sample of what he seeks from the negotiation; make sure it’s something that he really wants. By doing that, you’ll be instantly giving him a taste of what he can acquire if he adopts your position. If this tactic works with him, you will have also uncovered his need for gratification, and to what degree he’s willing to control it to obtain what he wants from the negotiation.

You now have new insights into how the above words can instantly increase your negotiation abilities, and just imagine, you acquired these words for free because you read this article. Imagine what this new knowledge will do for you. Don’t let yourself be limited, use these words in your negotiations … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Too Much of A Good Thing? New Strategies to Enjoy Real Work-Life Harmony in the C-Suite

Early morning board meetings, late evening client dinners, conference calls, international travel, a jam-packed family and personal schedule. It’s all good, but it may seem like constant non-stop busyness all the time. Are you doing more, but feeling less satisfied and more frustrated?

Fortunately, there are strategies to increase the real goodness and harmony in your life. Your ability to prioritize and optimize all the abundance you enjoy comes from making the right decisions about what is “important to do” rather than what is simply “nice to do.”

Evaluate and set your criteria. Determine the key professional and personal priorities, causes and activities that are truly aligned with your core values and highest intentions for the short and longer term. Turn inward and evaluate where you are accomplishing the most good and receiving the most personal satisfaction. Are you saying “Yes” more often and “No” less frequently because you are afraid of being left out? Learn to say “No” to the ordinary to be able to say “Yes” to the outstanding. Take a stand for what you really want!

Plan and prioritize. Look at your week and month and list your intentions and commitments. Sort the important from the merely workable. Think of your life in three pillars: career/business, health/family, faith/education/renewal and consider adopting the 8-8-8 model for your daily schedule. Designate eight hours for work and business, eight hours for yourself and your family priorities and eight hours for rest.

Make time for yourself every day. Part of your personal pillar should include some “me time” for peace, quiet, reflection and rejuvenation. Consider rising thirty minutes earlier and starting the day off with some movement, stretching, meditation, self-hypnosis or quiet contemplation. You will feel more successful and grounded versus feeling scattered and off balance.

Be consistent. Make regular deposits into your body’s energy savings and reserves account by eating whole, real food and engaging in regular physical activity and prioritizing restorative sleep. Inevitably you will need to make energy withdrawals when you are involved in challenging projects or are working long hours. With enough reserves, you have enough goodness to draw upon and your energy account will be charged and healthy!

Real work-life harmony takes courage and awareness. Model these traits for yourself, your family and your organization. Your life will be better for it!

Kathleen Caldwell, is CEO of Caldwell Consulting Group, an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, a C-Suite Network Advisor, Women Who Dare Council Member and the founder of the WHEE Leadership Institute ® (Wealthy, Healthy, Energetic Edge) of Woodstock, Illinois. She works with leaders and teams to energetically and enjoyably produce record breaking results. For more information, Caldwell can be reached at www.caldwellconsulting.biz, Kathleen@caldwellconsulting.biz or by phone at 773-562-1061.

Copyright © 2018. Caldwell Consulting Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

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There’s No Crying in Baseball – Or Business

“Are you crying?… There’s no crying in baseball!” That line was immortalized forever by Tom Hanks as baseball coach Jimmy Dugan in the 1992 hit movie A League Of Their Own about the women in professional baseball during World War II. The sentiment was echoed by a panel of executive women last night at an event I attended. When the moderator asked, “Is it ever okay to cry at work?” all four women gave an instant and simultaneous thumbs-down. This started me thinking about other emotional behaviors that are not acceptable for women or men, and how to express them more appropriately in the workplace.

Beyond tears, I think the most challenging one is anger. Anger is an emotion that we all feel at times, but how can it be expressed appropriately? We’ve all probably had the misfortune of witnessing a boss berating an employee, often in sight or earshot of others. While the employee is momentarily humiliated, the person who loses more respect is the boss who lost control and felt compelled to tear someone down in public. Regardless of the error made or how justifiably furious you are, there are right ways and wrong ways to express it.

First, you need to ensure that the language stays professional, not personal. Asking (even if not calmly) “How could this have happened?!” is very different from yelling “How could you be so stupid?!” Even if you’ve had multiple conversations with the person about costly, sloppy work in the past, it’s important to keep the discussion focused on the behaviors: “This is the second time you have missed critical details that have cost us time and a significant amount of money. You got an oral warning the first time, so this time I need to make a formal note in your records. If it happens again, I’ll be required to escalate it with HR.” If you want to curse and scream and call him every name in the book, fine – but do it in your car on the drive home when nobody can hear you, or take out your frustrations on the heavy bag at the gym. When you return to the office the next day, keep discourse civil and focus on finding solutions.

Anger is also toxic because it tends to lead to other destructive communication behavior, particularly scapegoating. Maybe nobody on your team made an egregious error, but perhaps a client backed out of a deal you were desperately counting on. Or a blizzard in the Midwest wreaked havoc on your delivery schedule across the region. While these kinds of situations are understandably stressful, it’s important to manage that stress and be careful not to take out your frustrations on others, whether your peers, employees, vendors, other clients, or family.

If you know that you get short-tempered and tend to snap at people when you’re in a bad mood, proactively communicate this to those around you: “I know we’re all working as hard as we can to solve this problem, and none of us caused it. For the next day or so, if I seem particularly short with you, let me apologize in advance; please know that it is not about you so do not take it personally. Thanks for your diligent efforts and patience at this difficult time.” Then, of course, make sure that you don’t make the language personal, and if you do speak harshly to someone who didn’t deserve it, be sure to apologize to them personally afterwards.

Of course, as with all communication, context is key. Someone else on yesterday’s panel made reference to a double standard in which it was okay for Joe Biden to cry in public, but it would not have been okay for Hillary Clinton to do so. I think that was an overstatement, given that Joe Biden wasn’t crying time and again out of frustration because the Republicans were pushing back on the Affordable Care Act. He only cried once in public, and it was while talking about the tragic loss of his son. It was a moment of palpable grief, and the country mourned with him. In a similar situation, if – heaven forbid – something equally awful had happened to Chelsea, and Hillary had wept as Joe did in the moment as a parent overcome with grief, I think it actually would have helped her. Ironically, it would have made her appear more human and relatable, which were two deficits that plagued her campaign. There is a time and a place for everything.

In the end, there are certain emotional behaviors that have no place in business. Recognizing what they are is crucial, but so is having coping mechanisms in place to deal with those triggering emotions when they arise. Not only does incorporating these mechanisms help you do your job more effectively, but doing so transparently and explicitly so others understand your intention is a great opportunity to mentor and teach leadership by example.

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Do you or does someone you know struggle with managing how they express their emotions in the workplace? Or do you have other questions or feedback about this issue? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

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Best Practices Management Marketing Personal Development

Why Discovering Value is THE Foundational Skill for Customer Focus

Since customer focus is really value focus, selling processes and methodologies must make your anyone in a customer-facing role better at discovering value gaps. The reason: customer perceived value is the life-force driving all commerce. It’s the “invisible power” inside of Adam Smith’s unseen hand. A sale only occurs when a customer perceives value in excess of price. Prospects only agree to take meetings that are worth the time. Click-throughs are positive responses to a value proposition. When a leader wants their company to be customer-centric, the kernel inside that drive is to be focused on customer value.

Sales is a process of discovering and leveraging value to influence a decision. Dissatisfaction with status quo, aspirations for a better future state, then connecting value to a proposed change.

First layer: Value Discovery

The foundation of customer value focus is conversation skills among any person touching a customer throughout the arc of the customer journey. The ability to uncover value should be a responsibility at every customer touch-point. This doesn’t have to mean sales training for the people in accounts receivable, but it does mean a purposeful development of certain abilities. For groups who interact regularly and deeply with customers, there are several sales methodologies for helping sellers facilitate needs –satisfaction discussions. I happen to love those of the Miller Heiman Group.

Surprisingly, few methodologies guide customer conversations to the critical point where a customer internalizes and measures value. Establishing a value-discovery methodology to all customer-facing roles is a huge competitive advantage for any company pursuing a customer intimacy value discipline……. A fundamental sales skill is helping a customer build a mental value picture.

Second level: Business Acumen

Understanding the customer’s world empowers us to sell conventional value propositions. Understanding their world exceptionally well allows us to connect our solution into a more detailed, more compelling value picture. For this reason, many sales leaders have realized that building business acumen for sellers and customer –facing roles is a big performance booster. Being a trusted advisor requires that a seller knows their customer’s business well enough to give valued insights…and you can’t know your customer’s business unless you know business.

Business acumen gives us the ability to look at a prospective customer’s business insightfully. Demonstrating a deep understanding of the prospective prospect’s business builds the credibility foundation needed to trust a seller’s perspective. Without that credibility, you risk being just another annoying know-it-all spewing a misdirected “credibility deck” in a prospect’s direction. Value messaging turns into old-fashioned “telling” if the perspective is not anchored in customer insight.

Business acumen is needed to discover value that is hidden to average sellers.  It supports a more detailed “map” of value landing points: personas and roles within the target company where the seller’s differentiation generates value. A tool called “value networks” builds this high-level selling practice into a repeatable system for entire sales teams.

Elite level: Achieving higher Win-Win Prices.

Gaining customer insight allows us to not only build a deeply engaging case for change., but to have the customer engage that perception of value in relation to price.

Using great customer conversation skills and methodologies with customers to define and monetize the value they perceive accomplishes two things:

  1. It solidifies a higher win-win price (either minimized discounting on standard products/services or more productive price-setting on custom ones)
  2. Reinforced perception of value, stronger preference. Customers pay higher prices for value received, but only pay higher prices they can’t justify in the short term. Raising prices isn’t the trick; getting them to internalize the price justification is. Once a customer has built their own value case for your pricing, that case tends to stick. When you do it right, customers build a preference for your product/service into their justification for your price

Putting it together

Building teams of elite sellers is a passion. Building businesses driven by discovering and delivering superior customer value is an even bigger calling. And it all starts with a great conversation; the ability to uncover and build value (because the only kind of value in the world is customer-perceived).

My upcoming book will expand on these subjects. If you don’t want to wait for publication date, feel free to contact me; I’d love to learn how I can provide some value and perspective.

To Your Success!

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