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Behavior Management in the Workplace

I had the great opportunity to work with Board Certified Behavior Analysts and I learned so much from them. These BCBAs specialize in autism treatment. This field may seem completely irrelevant to the business world but there is a clear correlation. It’s all about behavior management.

For a child on the autism spectrum, therapists use the principles of ABA which is Applied Behavior Analysis. Essentially, it’s about breaking things down into small steps until that target has been mastered. The child learns through errorless teaching (adjusted prompt levels until the child makes the correct response) and their positive behavior is strengthened and maintained through positive reinforcement (using their motivator).

What does this have to do with typical adults in the business world?

As business leaders we need to understand what motivates our people. We recognize that everyone is unique and requires a different approach to get things done. When we understand our people’s motivations, we are able to reward them accordingly, retain top talent and onboard new talent.

Here is a list of motivators in the workplace:

  • Money
  • A sense of belonging
  • The work itself
  • Recognition
  • Career Development

We also know that change management can be challenging, but when we understand the barriers around change we are able are to gain consensus and achieve great results. We do this by breaking things down into small steps and slowly introducing change in a positive way.

Using the principles of ABA we are able to gain an understanding of people’s motivations and effectively manage change.

People are so fascinating. We all have subtle and clear patterns, we all have certain expectations. We all have different perspectives. ABA helps us to get to the root cause of why someone does a certain thing and reacts in a certain way.

ABA is especially effective when we are engaging in negotiations, conflict resolution and improving employee engagement.

Executive coaching is all about being open to learning new ways of thinking and doing in order to achieve goals and solve problems. Using ABA in the workplace is just one example of how we can gain insights by thinking outside the box.

Michelle Nasser, Executive Coach

Teaching you how to make the best decisions for your organization.

www.michellenasser.com

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What Causes Fear in You?

“If you don’t know what to be fearful of, you’ll be susceptible to fearing anything.”  -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Are you truly aware of why you deal with fear the way you do, the source of your fear(s), and the impact it has on your psyche? Fear can paralyze you if it’s not controlled. Do you control your fears?

… ‘This is really messed up. I’m really afraid!’ Those were the words that a friend stated to me. He was speaking of a situation that had instilled fear in him. When I probed to understand why he was fearful, he said he wasn’t sure, but, he had a gut feeling to be cautious.

Fear ignites a sense to protect yourself. It may do so to prevent what’s perceived as being harmful. It may also do so to keep you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe; just an FYI, preventing what’s perceived as being harmful and keeping you within the boundaries that you deem to be mentally safe are two separate thoughts. They stem from two different sources of motivation. I point that out as something to be cognizant of (i.e. what really causes fear to become born within you and then what causes the flame of angst to burn brighter).

We come into the world with only two fears. They are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. The rest of what we learn of fear becomes a part of us that we obtain as we go through life.

It’s important to know what you fear because without knowing, you don’t know what to combat. Without knowing, you don’t know why you’re fearful. Without knowing, you don’t know if what you fear is real.

As you go throughout your daily activities, pay more attention to what at first appears to be angst, anxiety, an uncomfortable feeling, or whatever label you assign to the beginning of uneasiness. That will be the conscious point that fear begins to grip you. If you note when fear begins to grip you, you’ll have a greater chance of defeating it, before it has a greater chance of defeating you.

Here’s the point. Once you consciously recognize that fear has a hold on you, it’s already elevated from your subconsciousness to your consciousness. That means it was already living in your psyche like a virus waiting to potentially harm you. The sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can deal with it. The sooner you deal with it, the less severe it will be. The less severe it is, the better you’ll be able to control what occurs in your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, fear is always at the heart of broken deals, impasses, and the impediment to a successful negotiation outcome. Sometimes, you’re right to be fearful. If that’s the case, you need to identify the source of those feelings. Even if it’s imaginary, there’s a problem because of the way you’re thinking.

In a negotiation, once you become fearful, take note and assess to what degree it will impede the negotiation. Based on its severity address it then, or put it to the side to possibly be addressed later. Don’t ignore it until and unless your sense the fear has abated.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception #fear

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Do You Know the Hidden Secrets of Good Negotiators?

“Good negotiators know negotiation secrets that allow them to be good. To become better when negotiating, learn the secrets that good negotiators know” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Good negotiators know a wide range of hidden negotiation secrets, when to use them, and which ones to use in their repertoire of secrets when negotiating. That’s one of the things that distinguishes good negotiators from not so good negotiators.

So, what are some of the hidden secrets that good negotiators use? The following are a few of those hidden secrets. Using them will give you an advantage in your negotiations.

Reading Body Language:

Being adept, when it comes to accurately reading the other negotiator’s body language, will give you insight into his train of thought, and an edge in the negotiation. As one example, if face-to-face, note the consistency with which his eyes move when assessing information to questions you pose. If you pose questions that he should have to call on by referencing past occurrences, note the direction he looks in to obtain that information. When that pattern breaks, note it, along with the question that caused it to occur. They’ll be insightful information that you can use in that action.

Know What’s Really Important:

If you’re attempting to successfully entice a venture capitalist to invest in your business, you should know the main question she has about the potential investment is, will I make a decent return on my money and how long might it take to do so? The question is important to keep in mind because it’ll be the answer to that question that will determine what motivates her and what it will take to keep her engaged with you.

Throughout any negotiation, know the main points that will keep a negotiator engaged and determine how you’re going to use that information throughout the negotiation.

Emotions/Hot-buttons:

Always attempt to control emotions when negotiating. Emotions add an extra dimension to what is said.

In controlling emotions, you should know the hot-buttons that will push you and the other negotiator from one point to another, per the state of mind you or he will possess once in that state; you should already be well aware of your own hot-buttons.

To gain insight into the other negotiator’s hot-buttons, gather information beforehand about what ticks him off, and what makes him experience bliss. Then, during the negotiation, take note of his reactions when you push his buttons. If he doesn’t react the way you know he’s reacted in the past, you’ll gain insight into what he may be attempting to keep disclosed. If that’s the case, pick at that thing like a bad itch that begs to be scratched.

Good Listening Skills:

Good listening skills encompass not just listening to what’s said, but also listening for what’s omitted, the word choice used, and the way such words are conveyed; we’ve all heard a statement that sounded like a question. Unless you intentionally mean to pose a statement as a question, don’t do it. Also, note when the other negotiator sends hidden meanings inside of his verbal messages; it may mean he’s unsure of what he’s saying, or that he wants you to believe he’s unsure. Probing will uncover his intent.

When momentum is on your side, accelerate the negotiation. When you’re on the defense, slow the negotiation down. It’s the little strategies that you utilize in a negotiation that will pay the biggest dividends. Thus, when negotiating, don’t take small things for granted. It’s the implementation of small things, such as what’s mentioned above, that will allow you to accomplish bigger outcomes in your negotiation. Master those things … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #HiddenSecrets

#psychology

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Four Reasons to Get Ready to Scale Up as You Start Up

Scaling your business may seem like a long way off. After all, you have concepts to finish, prototypes to create and money to raise. Why worry about scaling now?

I am sure I can share many more than four reasons to start now and I don’t want to frighten you. I do hope to inspire you and galvanize you into taking the right actions to prepare for scaling up. Here they are:

1. The mistakes you make when you are small have a greater impact on your viability than they will when you are a big organization. In large companies mistakes may go unnoticed, but when you are starting out every decision you make counts. The people you bring on board, even for sweat equity, the strategy you set, and every dollar you spend must be carefully strategized.

2. Once you have hired members for your team, some of which may be your college roommates or your family members, it’s really hard to make them “available to industry” later. It’s great to hire your brother-in-law as CFO, yet at this stage you only need a bookkeeper and offering the lofty title of CFO will no doubt present a problem later. Now it could be that your brother in law will grow into that position but if he doesn’t, then how will you demote him without hard feelings? At 10 million you will need a different level of expertise.

3. If you don’t lay the right foundation, execution of your big idea may make your dream turn into a nightmare. Planning and executing while at the same time dealing with all the unknowns that crop up, is the biggest challenge in business. Execution is about turning your revenue into profit. In order to execute well the disciplines of setting priorities, measuring performance and a rhythm of the right kind of meetings is important and this degree of discipline is extremely rare. Developing and executing a strategy that is balanced in both growth and profitability is a difficult and necessary task.

4. Chances are you’ll run out of money and you have no time for those kinds of lessons. You only have so many resources. You may have borrowed money from friends and family, and the dream you shared encouraged them to open up their check books to you. They believe in you. And now you have to perform. You know the funds were not a gift. Every entrepreneur believes they have the next great technology, service or product to change the world. What do you need to do to validate your idea? Do it first. Don’t spend all your time on writing a lengthy business plan for Venture Capital firms. Instead write a one page plan outlining all the processes, people and actions to take. Then get out there and validate that your target market wants what you are creating. Otherwise you’ll burn cash and just as in the game of Monopoly, when you run out of cash, it’s game over. There is time for the perfect pitch deck and business plan once you have validation.

Actions to take: Review your plan quarterly. Treat each quarter as a 13 week race to accomplish the goals you set. Make sure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, actionable and Time –Bound). Find a thought partner, a strategic thinking team, or a peer group. Don’t be afraid to ask for guidance. Look around you – who do you know that you can reach out to? Plan your scale up as you start up.

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Join the Attention Revolution

Are you ready to join an ATTENTION REVOLUTION?

Are you ready to commit to paying attention to what matters most?

In today’s society, people everywhere are overwhelmed, overstressed and overtired. We receive information at a lightning-fast speed, challenging our ability to remain focused. As a result, I believe our society is suffering from an attention deficit crisis.

Research suggests our ability to remain focused is being undermined by social media, smartphones and other digital distractions. Many experts believe excessive use of technology is making us impatient, impulsive and forgetful. As a result, we spin our wheels staying busy while rarely making forward progress. We wear busy like it’s a badge of honor.

Attention has become the new currency as everyone and everything competes for more of it. Attention is EVERYTHING!

Did you know that according to the Information Overload Group, U.S. businesses lose $588B dollars (yep that’s billion) each year, from a lack of people paying attention! Imagine the success of your business if employees were able to tune out distractions, avoid interruptions and connect with the tasks that truly matter.

Now consider your personal life. How many times have you tuned out in conversation to check an alert on your smartphone? What about personal connections you missed because as you were reading emails after hours.

It’s time we become intentional with our attention and realize we have the power of choice. We can choose who and what gets our attention.

Intentional attention is about creating moments that MATTER. Here’s the caveat to that however: Intentional attention may mean reducing your social media time, putting away devices and noticing those around you, canceling unnecessary obligations and learning to say ‘no’ to others. While that may seem a little stressful – your life will be richer for it.

I promise, if you join my Attention Revolution, you will see:

  • Skyrocketing productivity,
  • Growth in relationships,
  • Boost to profits,
  • Extreme focus and clarity,
  • Targeted accountability; and
  • More time for what matters most to YOU!

Let’s join together to start a new trend, learn to channel our focus and accomplish more each day. I challenge you silence distractions, avoid interruptions and join the Attention Revolution today.

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Core Ideologies: The Heart and Soul of Scale-Ups

Core ideologies are a crucial part of the foundation organizations are built upon. They consist of two essential components of strategic thinking: core values and your purpose for existing, or why. There is nothing more important to your success than the people you engage with. They can be members of your leadership team, your board, employees, investors, or vendors. It’s alignment with your core values and purpose that will allow you to build a profitable and sustainable organization.

Codify your core values

Laying the foundation for your business begins with two key activities: understanding and codifying the core values that guide your business and your purpose for existing. I am not talking about the list of values that may be on a plaque in your office. We all know that Enron had integrity listed in their core values. Core values are deeper than that. They are the activities and beliefs that you act on every day. They are the guide for hiring the right employees and firing those employees who do not live your values.

Core values are considered aspirational when they are how you wish everyone around you behaved. True core values are always supported by the stories you can tell to demonstrate what you mean by each of them. When you can tell stories about how someone in your company lives that value, you’ll know it’s a real core value. If you like what a value means but don’t have a single story to share – I would call that aspirational.

Trevor is the CEO of a company that distributes goods to big box retailers. As I watched him struggle with naming his core values I reminded him how I have witnessed over and over how he has demonstrated caring for his employees. He recently interviewed a sales rep he really wanted to hire. The rep asked permission to snap a picture of the core values and shared that it was the values that made his decision to join the team an easy one – he was aligned with their values!

Teams often get stuck on getting the words just right. It might take a while to fine tune the wording but don’t let that stop you. That can come later. One of my personal favorites is Make Mama Proud.  Your mama would hate to see you on the front page of the Wall Street Journal for some nefarious deed! Too bad Enron missed that one.

Action to take to make core values come alive:

As employees congratulate some act of kindness, perseverance, an amazing customer experience or anything else they admire, send an email to them to honor them. Don’t stop there. Create a little book of emails and as you onboard new employees share that book with them. Usually new employees are immediately given the employee handbook, not what makes your organization a fabulous place to work.

Ask Yourself: Would you enthusiastically rehire all your stakeholders?

In answering this question for yourself, evaluate those that live your core values and at the same time are highly productive. If they do not live your core values, make them available to industry (i.e. fire them). If they do, but fail to be highly productive, first ask yourself if they are clear on the expectations for their position. Then coach them to be productive. They are worth saving. At every stage of your growth it is important to reevaluate your people. Having the right people in the right seats doing the right things is the most important ingredient for success. You can have the best technology and the best strategy but without the right people you will not be sustainable.

The second Core Ideology: Your Why, Your Purpose for Existing

Why does your organization exist? We all know that the purpose of business is to make money but that is not the right answer. There is some reason the business was started. There is some reason that you wake up every morning and keep on keeping on. Starting and growing a business is not easy – some days you might wonder why you stick with it. That’s your why or purpose for existing. Every member of your team should be able to deliver your why message.

Imagine an assembly line of people building rectangular glass boxes. You approach the assembly line and ask an employee what they are producing. The answer: I’m putting a door on this glass box. Then you approach another individual further down the line and get a completely different answer: with every door I put on this incubator, I save a baby’s life. Now which one of these answers gave you goose bumps?

Action to take to Find Your Purpose

If your purpose isn’t clear yet, ask every individual in your company to offer their opinion by secret ballot. See what they have to say and see which one of those gives you an emotional jolt. That’s what it takes. Watch Simon Sinek’s Start With Why TED talk for further inspiration. With more than 25 million views I can assure you it’s worth watching.

In summary:

Thinking about core values and purpose might seem soft. If you believe that alignment of team members is essential for success, then this is the place to start your foundation. Core values and purpose are the core ideologies that drive a company’s culture. Get it right, and you will have motivated loyal employees and a thriving organization.

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Perception – Does Being Right or Wrong Matter?

“Constantly test your beliefs. They serve as the foundation from which you view the world, those in it, and how others in turn view you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Too many times, people get hung-up on who’s right and who’s wrong. In reality that’s not what they’re really interested in. They’re more concerned with getting others to follow their lead. Being cognizant of that should allow you to focus more on the outcome you seek in a situation and less on how being perceived as right or wrong will make you feel. If you do identify your feelings as the source that motivates you to adopt one action over another, examine your thoughts to assess why that’s so; it could mean that you’re less interested in the outcome versus the way you feel about the outcome. If that turns out to be the case, you have a completely different ‘kettle of fish’ to deal with, one that’s in addition to the perception of right or wrong.

Once you can boil right or wrong down to its most simplistic form and still get others to follow you, right or wrong becomes immaterial. Recognize that you really don’t want to be viewed as being right or wrong, what you’re really after is to have others agree with your beliefs.

Going forward, when you’re engaged in dialog with others ask yourself, “Am I placing too much emphasis on being right or wrong?” Understand the source of motivation behind your actions to convince others that you’re right. That will be the real key to the impact you have on them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Every negotiator enters into a negotiation believing that her point of view should be accepted by the other negotiator; from her perspective, her point of view is right. If too much emphasis is placed on being right, she may overlook other opportunities to sway her counterpart to the real objective of the negotiation, which is to receive a favorable outcome for her.

Before you can shape someone’s perception, first you have to shape your own. You should have a firm understanding of how you arrived at your perspectives, the value they contain as viewed by others, to what degree they may contain unsubstantiated biases, and how you’ll position them to be viewed as most advantageous by the other negotiator. Once you’ve gathered those aspects, you’ll realize that it’s perception that matters, not who’s right or wrong. That will add a new dimension to your negotiation efforts.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception

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How to Overcome Lost Trust When Negotiating

“One way to overcome the loss of trust when negotiating is not to lose it in the first place.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Trust is the hidden variable when negotiating that possesses silent power in the negotiation. Once trust is lost, a negotiation takes on a persona from which it may never recover. Thus, depending on the severity of lost trust, it may be the death knell of the negotiation.

There are multiple factors that play a role in regaining trust when it’s lost. The implementation of those factors are directly tied to how you wish to proceed from the point of disruption, the outcome you seek from the negotiation, time factors related to future events, and any mitigating circumstances that may cause you to engage/disengage in/from the negotiation.

This article will give you insights as to how you can overcome the loss of trust when you negotiate and turn your efforts into winning actions.

Point of Disruption:

Be observant as to how trust is being evaluated during the negotiation. Such signs will be conveyed through the possible reluctance to believe, follow, or acquiesce to a request and/or concession. Once you sense such hesitancy, address it right then. Don’t let a possible festering thought about trust linger. If you do, you may be setting up the rest of the negotiation to be addressed from a deeper entrenched position on both sides.

Outcome Sought:

Be crystal clear about the outcomes sought by you and the other negotiator. To the degree you have commitments, shine a bright metaphoric light on those agreements and make those commitments known to stakeholders with lots of fanfare. As an aside, be mindful of whom you show the commitments so that they don’t tear them down. In a best-case scenario, you tie/lock the other negotiator to the commitments he states he’ll abide by. Also, limit finger pointing, gloating, and be aware of your verbiage when highlighting agreed on commitments. The wrong word(s), gloating, and/or finger pointing can easily lead to the unraveling of a commitment. To ensure that commitments will be adhered to, discuss with the other negotiator how they will be conveyed when presented to the outside world.

Time Factors and Future Events:

You should always consider the time factor and how today’s negotiation will impact future events. To that end, to restore lost trust:

  1. Sign-off on agreements at specific points in the negotiation and wait to see if deliverables are made
  2. Know hidden power players and their possible reaction(s) about the direction of the negotiation
  3. Have contingency plans in place to persuade power players to positions that are advantageous to you

Mitigating Circumstances:

There are mitigating circumstances that can encompass any negotiation. Such can be caused by the misperception of a word, a misperceived gesture, or just a dislike amongst the negotiators. If you’re aware of any mitigating circumstances that may cause the negotiation to be headed to the negotiation graveyard, consider changing negotiators. New negotiators can see the negotiation through new eyes.

A loss of trust can be a silent death knell in a negotiation but that doesn’t have to be so. The best way to offset its occurrence is to be as forthright as possible as you engage in a negotiation. Of course, that forth righteousness is a two-way street that the other negotiator must also be willing to traverse. Use the suggestions above to offer him the opportunity to do so … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Trust  #psychology

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What I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Bought My First Smartphone

Have you ever been so excited about buying something new that you fail to stop long enough to consider how it might impact you in the long run? Let’s face it; rarely do we ever consider the long-term consequences of our purchases and impulsive needs, especially when it comes to technology.

I can still remember my first smartphone purchase – the answer to my productivity needs. The ability to map my destinations, create travel itineraries on a whim, respond to emails in a more timely fashion, take photos and more. I’ve never been one that is a cutting-edge ‘early adopter’ where technology is concerned, but the smartphone was truly that – smart. It was the answer to my overwhelmed, overly committed life.

Never one time did I stop to consider the long term impacts the smartphone would have on my life, let alone on society. Have you ever stopped to contemplate how your life has changed since introducing this device into it? If you knew then what you know now, would you still have made that very first purchase? Or perhaps, would you have introduced it to your life differently?

The following aspects are those I wish I would have – could have – considered before that first smartphone purchase:

Dinner Disruptions:

I wish I would have known that I would rarely see families and friends engaged in a conversation around the dinner table without the distraction of a device. I can’t even recall the last time I sat in a restaurant and witnessed everyone engaged in a non-device disrupting conversation and meal. Far too often I see adults tuned out reading online while kids mindlessly play games and avoid interaction. I watch as young couples engage more on social media than with each other. I wait as servers and staff turn their attention to patrons in need of photos, causing other patrons to sit in wait.

Traveling Challenges:

I wish I would have known that every airport would become a land mine of adults sitting on floors and against walls, hovering near any available power outlet or charging station, handcuffed to their device in a desperate hope it will charge before boarding the flight. Before smartphones, I can’t recall a time it was commonplace to see grown adults holding a small device as if it were their very life support.

Distracted Driving:

I wish I would have known the rate people would crash, or even die, due to distracted drivers. Let’s face it, there are few things more annoying, distracting and dangerous than a smartphone alert going off when you’re behind the wheel of a car. No matter where you keep the phone – your purse, console, glove box or back seat – there is something about the sound of an alert that pulls your focus from the road. Never would I have imagined how many people I would share the road with that would be texting while driving, reading the news, posting online or even live streaming their thoughts in transit. Even when thought I have disciplined myself not to look at the phone while driving, the very thought of what awaits for me competes for my attention more than I would have ever imagined.

Home Life Hindrances:

I wish I would have known how much I would ask my friends and family to pause their thoughts as I answered a self-inflicted obligation to respond to emails after hours. I can remember when I first linked my email to my smartphone and thought how amazing it was to respond to emails after the work day was over. I considered this a productivity win as my response times were cut in half. I had faith that others recognized my diligence and would be appreciative of my timely response. What I didn’t realize is that in time, my enthusiasm for answering after hour emails would turn into a habit and that habit would turn into obligation. Little by little, I had trained those in my circle to expect an immediate response from me. Before I knew it, my 9 to 5 turned into a 24×7 workday. My loved ones became the ones in wait as I took time and attention from them to respond to messages that could have easily waited until morning.

Need for Instant Information:  

I wish I would have known my need for instant information would become a crutch. I’m not sure if you’re like me, and have lost track of the number of times you’ve stopped mid conversation to research facts and figures to prove a point. While having information at our fingertips is amazing, it can also hinder our ability to be free thinkers and engage in healthy debates and judgement without the need to immediately prove who is right.

Social Media Influence:

I wish I would have known how toxic social media would become. If only I could have seen the day I would wish for photos of a friend’s meal to be the topic of social media fodder. Instead, the smartphone has allowed all of us to think, and post, without self-censorship. We’ve entered into a world where what we feel is immediately available for others to read. I would have never guessed the draining effect it would have on my in my daily life, feelings and productivity. Not only has the smartphone increased my accessibility to read social media, it’s made it addictive to the point that a concerted effort has to be made just to tune it out or avoid it all together.

Productivity Nemesis:

I wish I would have known that the very tool I was purchasing to help me become more productive would be the very thing that would challenge my ability to do so. With constant alerts, messages and updates, it’s hard to remain focused on anything of importance. Trying to focus on a task becomes challenging when I know someone has messaged me and is awaiting an immediate response. Now, I have to make a conscious effort to download apps and schedule times of days they work to keep alerts and messages at bay. Never the less, the impulsive need to check my screen for notifications is often more than I can bear. Despite my need for focused thinking, I find my attention challenged in ways I would have never previously imagined.

Talking to Foreheads:

I wish I would have known that the introduction of the smartphone meant learning to carry on conversations with people’s foreheads. If only I had the ability to grab someone by their face and say what my 5 year old friend, Donovan, taught me – “Listen with your eyes.” Put the phone down and pay attention to what is right in front of you, not what can wait. If only I would have known how preconditioned I would become – we would become – to accepting interruptions and someone’s half attention as the norm.

Is there anything you wish you would have known before buying your first smartphone? While technology has helped us in many ways, it challenges our focus and competes for our attention for what is truly important. While I don’t regret having this amazing technology, hind sight is always 20/20. Now that we know the challenges, can we change our habits, or are we doomed to distraction?

I believe attention is our new currency. Attention to what matters most is where we will profit, boost productivity and increase accountability. Paying attention to what is important is a skill we must learn – if not relearn – to help us achieve balance in our lives with technology.

What are your thoughts? I would love to read them. Are you committed to changing your habits and learning how to use the smartphone as a tool and break the dependency you’ve created? If so, subscribe to my ezine to learn tips, techniques and strategies to help you pay attention to what matters most.

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Don’t Play With Your Emotions

“Exerting greater control over your emotions will allow you to exercise greater control of your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 When you engage in life, don’t play with your emotions. Anytime you’re unsure of which path you should take, don’t play with your emotions. That doesn’t mean that you should consider options devoid of your emotions, it means, attempt to think of your options without the emotional attachment that might saddle itself to those options.

By eliminating the emotional aspect that might go into your decision-making process, you allow your thought process to be driven by logic. After you’ve assessed a situation from a purely logical perspective, you can test your sense of direction by considering the emotions that might be the co-pilot of your decision.

Sometimes people allow their emotions to lead their actions. They toss logic aside. Allowing your actions to be driven by emotions alone can lead you into dangerous situations; “I don’t know why I did it; I must have been temporarily insane.” Those may be the afterthoughts you have if you don’t control your emotions before delving into a situation.

To maintain greater control of your life and those that surround you, always seek to control your emotions. Don’t play with them! Once you learn to have greater control of your emotions, you’ll have greater control of the environments you engage in. You’ll also find that your emotions serve you better. So, always seek to keep your emotions in check … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation (you’re always negotiating), emotions dictate how you’ll engage in the negotiation. Thus, your emotions will drive your actions if you don’t curb them. It may not be very easy to control your emotions at times when negotiating, but if the opposing negotiator senses that he can control you by controlling your emotions, he’ll play you like a drum. You’ll dance to any tune he decides to play.

Before entering into a negotiation, know the hot points that may cause you to lose control of your emotions; your hot points are also called triggers. Being aware of the triggers that may provoke different emotional reactions in you, allows you to prepare the demeanor you wish to display, versus one that would hijack your real-time display of emotions. Such displays can cause you to lose control of the negotiation. By not displaying a demeanor the other negotiator expected, you’ll initiate doubt within him about the strategy he’s employing in invoking such triggers to maneuver you.

Suffice it to say, controlling your emotions allows you to have greater control of yourself and the other negotiator, and everyone knows, he who controls the negotiation has a greater chance of controlling the outcome of the negotiation.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

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