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“The Hidden Role Politics Plays In The Cover-up” – Negotiation Insight

 

“Some people think cover-ups are a necessity of life; others think they’re not. But when politics is involved, always think of covering yourself, less you be the one that’s covered up.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

“The Hidden Role Politics Plays In The Cover-up”

He awoke with a feeling of utter disbelief. He’d done everything right by following the guidelines and keeping his superiors abreast of his actions. They’d given him their buy-in as he moved from one aspect of the operations to the next. Still, when the outcome was not as expected, he was abandoned by those that had given him their assurances of support. Even worse, they threw him under the proverbial bus. He didn’t know it at the time, but politics had played a role in his abandonment. There’d been a cover-up. And his betrayal was done to conceal the nefarious actions of others.

Later, he wondered what happened and mused about being a sacrificial lamb. Upon reflection, he realized that he’d been led to slaughter while others kept him in a state of calm. And that occurred through the reassurance that his superiors and contemporaries gave him that he’d be protected. He concluded that politics had played a hidden role in the decision to cast him as the fall-guy. It placed the blame on him for what others touted as an adverse outcome.

Has anything like that ever happened to you? I’m sure you can recount some issues that you experienced in your life that took a side-turn. Just when you thought everything was on the track of success, something occurred to derail it. It may have been politics’ hidden role that served as the culprit.

When a crisis is brewing, warning signs occur. If you miss those signals, you may be walking down a precarious path fraught with danger that’s waiting for your arrival. To become better insulated from the undesirable underbelly that politics can have in uncertain situations, consider the following as you go forward in life.

 

The Political Game:

Most cover-ups occur due to pressure brought from a superior force. And it’s cast upon those that have limited abilities to confront it. Therefore, when you’re the lesser force in the equation, be vigilant about why an entity might abandon you, due to the pressures forced upon them. Therein will lie one of the safeguards you can use to protect yourself.

When politics are involved, people will align with unimaginable sources to safeguard themselves. Consider the forces you might form to shield yourself too. Just keep in mind that no alliance is permanent. Hence, be aware of when they shift. As they do, that’ll be your cue to reassess the forces against you and the possible time to form new alliances.

Mindfulness:

Be mindful of the role you’re playing in someone’s political game. Consider how disposable you are and what the kingmaker’s goals are. You should also take into mind the type of characteristics he possesses. Ask yourself, is he someone that stands behind his words? What proof has he shown of that in the past? What were some of his most dire situations where he stood up for those he represented? And, if so, when did he abandon them?

You’re seeking a roadmap of his past activities that might indicate how he’ll act and react in future situations. That’s important because you’re going to base your interactions with others in his sphere based on his prior actions. Sometimes, that insight will allow you to become insulated from the drudgeries of the politics that might grip him.

Connections:

Connect with those in power while realizing that their power is fluid – just like it’ll flow to them, then through them, one day, it’ll eventually flow away from them. So, be aware of whom you’ll connect with as power shifts. Also, be translucent when doing so. That means you should be cognizant that there are no permanent friends, no permanent enemies, just permanent interests.

Thus, always consider if you’ll align yourself with the power that’s behind the face of power or those that defy that source. To assess which may be better, determine the path to whom authority is flowing, and the probability of it igniting new leadership. Either way, understand the political game you’re in, and you’ll have a better chance of protecting yourself. Accordingly, you need to choose wisely.

Reflection:

No one is immune from injustices. Because justice herself can be an unfaithful mistress. If you think because you do the right thing, by following the rules and keeping interested parties abreast of your actions, you’ll escape harm, think again. Politics make for strange bedfellows. Always remember, those with substantial influence and power don’t want to lose it. To prevent that from occurring, they may combine forces with the most unsavory characters to maintain their authority. And that can leave you in the lurch.

Consider the thoughts and ideas mentioned earlier when you first sense betrayal or shifting support. Even better, attempt not to place yourself in such a position by always being aware of what’s occurring around you. If you’re never in a place where danger lurks, it will never find you … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Politics #coverups #role #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

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Body Language Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“ – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Don’t fear opposition. From it, you can become stronger.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book

“How To Resolve Powerful Opposition By Reading Body Language“

 

He observed the opposing member’s body language and noted a rise in their opposition. He thought – this intervention is not going well. I’ll display a stronger resolve through my body language when I speak. And that will enhance my words.

Even those not astute at reading body language become swayed by their gestures. Some they see, and others they miss – their subconsciousness may capture the latter. That may lead to someone thinking, ‘I had a hunch or a feeling about that. But I didn’t know what it meant.’ In reality, that was their intuition summoning their consciousness. When one notices the slight gesture of someone biting their lips, hands-on hips, or an intense glare, those gestures convey a message.

You can use the following information about reading body language to resolve opposition to your position.

 

Identify Alliances

Always know who’s aligned with whom before you attempt an intervention. Without that insight, you don’t know who might be your real friend or foe. That’s important because, without that knowledge, you can’t confront the real force that opposes you. Thus, there may be a stronger force with superior powers that go unaddressed. And that could leave you going in circles wondering why you’re not advancing.

To identify possible factions aligned against you, consider planting misinformation about one group in the other. And note what that information does within those units. In particular, observe what the info does per new alliances the opposition forms. You can glean additional insight by visually inspecting the coalitions when you’re in the same environment. Do that by noting who congregates with whom and any other nonverbal exchanges that occur. You’re looking for the slightest of shifts to increase your advantage. If the forces are still committed to one another as before, that might indicate the information was insufficient for its purpose. It could also imply that there’s a stronger alliance than you’d imagined. And an FYI, this tactic is served better if you have a confidant within your targets midst place the information.

While some might consider this maneuver to be underhanded, depending on the threat confronting you, it may be well warranted – even if some revile you. Just be mindful that those with the most to lose will be the ones that contest you the most. Once uncovered, they’ll be the real opponents challenging your position.

 

Understanding One Important Body Language Queue

To identify alliances through body language, observe gestures passed between members of the opposition. Such gestures as one member placing a hand on the shoulder of another while talking can silently indicate that he’s seeking support from that person. You can also observe someone searching for assistance when a person speaks, and someone from his group places a hand on his shoulder. Since the prior gesture can also be a form of control (i.e., let’s not go that far), take note of when it occurs and who initiates the action. If it’s a “let’s not go that far” intent, the person displaying the gesture may be a leader behind the scenes or someone that you can use later to control the person speaking. Using a veiled leader in that capacity would allow you to use the hidden powers of an influencer.

 

Signs of Escalation

Some body language gestures are like canaries in a coal mine – they foretell pending danger.

 

Face-To-Face

You can sense some body language gestures before the display becomes altered. Thus, those displays reflect the emotional state of that individual at that moment. Those signals are called micro-expressions.

There are other signs to observe, such as hand flexing, the hand becoming a fist, displaying a grimacing demeanor while moving closer to you, and increasing the rate of speech. Such indicators can be the signal of emotional elevation, which can lead to hostile escalations.

It’s important to note such signals because they can indicate a change in the mental temperature. And that could put you in a worse position – which can lead you and them to become unreceptive to logical thinking.

 

On Phone

When speaking on the phone, listen for deep sighing, the deliberation of words, and the pace of speech of the person with whom you’re talking. As someone’s ire becomes heightened, you’ll hear the rise of it through those nonverbal queues. Note if you’re displaying such gestures too. Because regardless of who commits those actions, it’s an opportunity for you to shift the conversation in a direction that suits your purpose.

 

Reflection:

You can note the effectiveness of your efforts by the shifting positions your opponents adopt. Note the shift verbally and physically when in person. That’ll indicate their attempts to seek an opening they can exploit. Which means they’re on the defense.

Thus, when intervening in situations, depending on the value of the outcome, do so with vigor – don’t dither. Dithering can waste your time and hamper your position. And that’s something you can’t afford. Use the body language signs mentioned before, during, and after an intervention. They’ll put you in a more powerful position … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life” – Negotiation Insight

 

“The myth about supremacy is, it is a myth. Because everyone’s insights add value to the whole, even if their insights detract from the thoughts about the superiority of others.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

 

“Are Myths About Supremacy Destroying Your Life”

 

Don’t allow the supremacy myth to destroy your unrealized opportunities due to the way you think.

We don’t need their input. We’re superior in every way to them – said one associate to the other. So, they entered into a bargaining session with those they assumed were inferior, and became obliterated! Since they went into the situation with a superior mindset, they’d not considered options that might have improved what became their dismal outcome. They didn’t prepare appropriately per thoughts they should have pondered. And that was to their detriment.

Continue reading, and you’ll gather insights to improve your interactions with other people. Because, even if you don’t define yourself as having myths about others, others have them about you. And since everyone is codependent upon each other, ignoring this illusion can prevent future advancements in thinking for you and them. Without that improvement, everyone will advance at a slower pace.

 

Impact of Thoughts

As someone of authority, have you considered how myths impact your life? If your first thought was, I don’t think others are inferior – you should reconsider your belief. Everyone considers himself above others in some cases. You may view the disheveled homeless person, the ticket-taker on the train or those in other environments to be inferior. The point is, recognize your reality for what it is. From that point, you can begin to deal with your version of the myth. That’s important because that myth might be hampering the advancement of your life based on the way you think.

 

The Problem With Supremacy

Thinking you’re superior to others taints your mind. It affirms misconceptions that you possess that may hamper your interactions with others. And that can place you at a disadvantage when you’re trying to sway someone to adopt your position. Worse, you’ll lose time and attrition on aspects that might have otherwise advanced that position.

Always be aware of what you say about the abilities of others. And be more aware of the inner thoughts you possess about such feelings. Because that’s the message you’ll project in the way you act towards them.

 

Identifying Your Fears

Fear may be driving your beliefs about your supremacy. If so, are you aware of what you fear? The point is, you should examine why you hold such views to be truths if you do. Because you’re alienating yourself from those that you may use as allies in a best-case scenario. In a worst-case scenario, you’re turning them into adversaries.

By identifying your source of motivation, you’ll have a point from which to address your supremacy challenges. That will allow you to shift your mind, which will lead to self-improvement and your positioning with others. That means the more open you are to their viewpoints, even if you don’t initially agree with them, the better your chances will be of understanding their perspective. From there, you’ll become more sensitized, which should place you and them on a better road of consideration, which should lead to better outcomes.

 

Reflection

When you’re in any role, leadership, or non-leadership, you must possess top-of-mind awareness of how you view people. If you consider others to be inferior, you’ll attempt to cast that demeanor upon them. Some will resist, and others will fight you for the insult you toss their way. That can dampen your position and make it more challenging to deal with them.

People see the world differently. That’s due to the experiences and environments they’ve encountered. Therefore, if you wish to improve conditions in a situation, consider availing yourself to the thoughts and opinions of those that don’t come from your background, and those that haven’t shared your experiences. Having their added viewpoint will allow you to see conditions from another perspective. It will also open the spectrum of new opportunities. Those will become the opportunities that will increase the chances of improvement for everyone involved … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Supremacy #life #Myths #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise” – Negotiation Insight

 

“All promises have expiration dates. Don’t let yours expire without reaping its rewards.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click here to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Reflection – Negotiation – What Is The Expiration On A Promise”

 

… They needed to increase their perception of power. So, they sought an ally to enhance that perception. They made a promise to support that ally’s efforts from that point into the future.

But when a new leader gained power, he abandoned his ally. The ally, upon reflection, realized they were pawns in their former partner’s game. They’d been betrayed and sold out because they no longer had the value they once possessed. Within their ranks, they asked the question, what is the expiration on a promise?

That question is one that you should ponder about every situation. Things constantly change. And thus, parameters formed in one alliance can alter a promise when people form other partnerships. So, if you feel the ground shifting, take note of where it’s flowing. That noted change will signal the possible need to develop new alliances. A promise will only last as long as it serves a purpose. To assess when it may begin to lose its commitment, consider the following.

 

Where you were

Knowing the environment a promise was made in, and the surrounding circumstances that led to its creation will give you a starting point from which to monitor its party’s commitment. Consider who the players were that entered into the alignment that made the promise. And, consider their source of power moving into the future. Making that assessment can serve as a bell-weather that indicates when you should consider forming new alliances. Being blind to such occurrences can leave you in a darkness that’s fraught with danger.

 

Your journey

As you reflect on the dilemma of lost trust, due to broken promises, think of the path that you and your allies have traveled. Consider what might have led or is leading to a separation of support you’ve provided for each other. Partnerships don’t dissolve overnight. There are always pending signs of potential danger. Look for them and heed warning signs on your path. Think about the variables that transpired that you possibly ignored due to circumstances that you didn’t want to consider or those that you intentionally chose to ignore. The purpose of that is to assess the mindset that you and your ally had as you traveled to the place that you now find the relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do now to increase my perceived value? Who might I align with to improve my position? And where might that alignment lead? You need firm footing to escape a slippery slope. Connecting with those that can extend support might be the support required to do just that.

 

Where you are

Now, you’re in a very precarious situation. Your most reliable ally has deserted you. And, you’re left surrounded by your enemies. What do you do? To survive, you must create new alliances. And you have to consider the trust factor. And you must ask, how long might a promise they make last? The answer that echoes back is, now is not the time to worry about that. You’re in survival mode.

If you want to survive, you must do whatever is required to sustain yourself. That may even include making alliances with the devil. Meaning, you may have to stretch very far outside of your comfort zone. But if survival is meaningful to you, you’ll do what it takes to prevent you from being taken by what you do.

 

Reflection

When you find yourself in a less than tenable position, due to broken promises, don’t be Pollyannaish. Look at your dilemma for what it is, not necessarily the way you want it to be. Everything changes. And as they do, they don’t have to leave you in a lurch. You can prevent that from occurring by being aware of shifting alliances and making sure that you’re aligned with powers that will remain powerful. Do that as long as an association serves your needs, and you’ll be less likely to be broken by broken promises … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here https://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Promise #Expiration #Reflection #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To decrease your chances of being conquered, know how others will fight.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Click here to get the book!

“Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer”

He realized he’d be entering into a tough situation. In past interactions, verbal fights had broken out within this group. And tensions had frayed. Those frayed tensions led to increasing distrust amongst those discussing the proposed resolution.

Anticipating how someone might respond to an offer or proposal is something that you should always consider. Why? Because it impacts how you and they will interact. Thus, if you’ve had conflicts in the past, and nothing’s been done to address them satisfactorily, more than likely, they’ll fight you in the future.

The following is information you can use to plan, control, and dissuade others from attempting to conquer you. It’s a thought process that every good negotiator considers. And when someone fights to overcome your efforts, it’s insightful information that will arm you to combat them.

 

Planning

 

  • Fight/Flight/Stand Still
    • Before engaging in any forum, assess what occurred in prior encounters with its participating members. That history reflection will provide insights about the developments that might arise in your upcoming meeting with them. It also allows you the time to plan the actions and reactions you’ll promote to enhance your position.

In particular, consider whether you want the next encounter to end in a stalemate (you’re marking time to become stronger), you want the opposition to flee the potential conflict, recognizing your strength is too powerful for them to combat (be mindful of how you cast yourself – this may cause your opponents to seek greater power by building stronger coalitions), you’re going to fight for future positioning or as a means to get closer to its end.

  • Strategy
    • You should develop an approach based on what’s occurred in the past, the outcome that arose from using that plan, how those you engaged during that session reacted, and to what degree new players will enter into the upcoming activities. Taking into account those factors will allow you to shape the tactics you’ll develop to create and employ the best strategy.

 

  • Who are you
    • Another thought to consider is, who are you? That question answers the characteristics you possess. Some people can’t or won’t engage in some activities because it may be outside of their moral bearings. Having insight about your ethical boundaries will help you determine how far you’ll go to seek an outcome that may be crossing a line. Make the same assessment of those that you’ll be meeting.

 

Improvement

 

  • Interactions
    • Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t get what you wanted, and yet you still felt good about the outcome? Even if you haven’t had that experience, that’s the emotional state you want to instill in others that deal with you. Leave them feeling that they walked away with something that they’re proud to have achieved.

The way you accomplish that feeling lies in how you deal with people. In some situations, you don’t want to appear stubborn, dogmatic, or immobile. In the wrong condition, people will detest you. But in the right circumstances, such a demeanor will aid in fostering the persona needed to back those that pose threats away from you. So, be aware of how you project your persona and make sure it matches the outcome you’re seeking. Doing so will prevent future consternation that might impede future progress.

 

  • Framing
    • Framing occurs when you control the narrative of a conversation. And, by framing an interaction in a particular manner, you control the discussion and the flow of the communication.
    • Outcome – No matter the outcome, think about how you’ll frame it so that it appears to be beneficial to your position.
    • Opponents – Think about how you’ll frame the opponents that have engaged you during and after an interaction. You can position them in a positive or negative light, depending on how you wish others to view them. The choice you make should depend on how you want them to interact with you going forward.

 

  • Future Interactions
    • Other players – When considering how you’ll improve future situations, consider who might become aligned with whom. That’ll impact the chances of future success for you and them. There may exist the opportunity to use their alliances to your advantage.

 

Reflections

In answering the question, they will fight back but will they conquer, the answer is, it depends. It depends on the variables that you identify and address that will influence the outcome of a meeting – and how successful you are in developing a plan that accurately addresses those variables. The point is, you’ll have more control of any encounter if you plan for it appropriately. Once you do, you’ll be less likely to be conquered in your engagements … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

#Fight #Conquer #Negotiations #Control #Conversations #NegotiationStrategies #NegotiationProcess #NegotiationSkillsTraining #NegotiationExamples #NegotiationTypes #ReadingBodyLanguage #BodyLanguage #Nonverbal #Negotiate #Business #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #Negotiator #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #BodyLanguageExpert #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #GregWilliams #success #negotiation examples #Negotiation strategies #negotiation process #negotiation skills training #negotiation types #negotiation psychology #Howtowinmore #self-improvement #howtodealwithdifficultpeople #Self-development #Howtocontrolanegotiation #howtobesuccessful #HowToImproveyourself

 

 

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Entrepreneurship Management Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats” – Negotiation Insight

“Threats can be disruptive. But unchecked threats that challenge power usually leads to destruction. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Maintain Power In The Face Of Threats”

 

The leaders that preceded him always supported their allies. And his allies thought he’d continue that support. Then, it occurred – the opportunity to come to their aid. But he was a different type of leader. He cared more about his well-being than that of his allies. So, he abandoned them. He did that to maintain power while a secret source threatened him.

Everyone has a degree of authority. And that authority is a source of power. So, if you want to maintain yours, consider the following.

Verbal Attacks

Sometimes, non-physical attacks work – especially in the face of threats. Thus, attacks don’t have to be physical. They can be verbal, serving as a warning of the foreboding to come unless current threatening actions cease. And, over a long period, they can shape future activities, anticipation, and mindset of those whom you convey your sentiments. So, when you consider how you’ll extend and maintain power, think about how you might use even the threat of an attack, physical or non-physical, to bolster your position.

Moving Goalposts

When confronting threats, another strategy to consider is moving the goalposts. That means, when those you’re facing get closer to a goal, move it. Do that by changing the parameters that were previously set.

You can use this tactic against those that form less of a threat but with whom you wished to maintain control. You’d implement this strategy to keep the object of your actions aligned with you, but have them guessing at what you might require next. If overused, that tactic can also introduce and ignite anger. So, be careful of how and when you utilize it.

You can also implement this strategy by assembling multiple goals and allowing your associates to choose the ones to address. Later, for reasons you create, you can state that they have to alter their course and discuss new goals. You’d use this approach to buy time or to frustrate the progress they were making that was out of alignment with your goals. Either way, you’ll maintain power, while others are chasing the altering goals that you created.

Using Surrogates

Power is real to the degree it’s perceived, and how it’s adhered to by others. Thus, if someone recognizes you as being in control, in their eyes, you’re powerful. Therefore, another way to project power is to disallow others from engaging you. You’d forbid them access to you, be it in person or via any form of communication. Instead, you should have such individuals communicate through your surrogates. You want to maintain distance between you and them. That buffer allows you to remain somewhat aloof while giving you time to consider responses to potentially threatening situations. Then, when you enter into communications with them, you’ll have the opportunity to control the situation better. Your presence will suggest that something bigger is occurring.

Your Will

When considering threats to power, some people become tyrannical to protect it. They will lie, cheat, and steal to maintain control. Others will acquiesce to threats. Thus, not only should you be aware of the personality type that you’re dealing with, having that insight will help you shape your response to the threats of others.

  • Tyrants – This individual type may have a relationship with power, new or long-established, that allows him to feel special. He rides on the clouds of accolades. And his ego is pacified while being affirmed that he exalts over his followers. It can be challenging to deal with this personality type. When confronting someone possessing this characteristic, no his sources of power, and know yours. You may have to call on your power sources to prepare it to battle on your behalf. You should also be prepared to employ dirty tricks to combat his forces if you deem it necessary.

 

  • Acquiesce – Dealing with someone that acquiesces can be tricky. The trickiness lies in the speed of his actions. If he nibbles at your power, he may do so to test the possibilities for success. Thus, he will not be as bold nor engage in the tactics a tyrant would use. Nevertheless, depending on the backers of this individual, he may become emboldened to threaten your authority because he’s being egged on by others. Keep this in mind and account for it when dealing with this type of person.

Reflection

Power is fluid. And it’s ever-changing. Therefore, if you want to maintain control, you must be aware of what might alter its flow. And, you must be prepared to combat those that would take it away. To do anything other will empower others. And for them … everything will be right with the world – but not for you.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

 

“To avoid danger, control the conversations that lead to it. And, to do that, know how to control conversations.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“Avoid Danger In Negotiations – How To Control Conversations Better”

 

Two agents were working undercover as they discussed an update with their informant. They were seated in a recessed area in an attempt to keep their conversation private and to avoid danger. They wanted to control the environment as much as possible. Suddenly, a panhandler walked over and aggressively began to ask for money. One agent said pleasantly, no. But the person persisted by asking, why not? The agent said, no, again. Still, the person continued their plea for money. Finally, the agent growled as he said in a loud voice, I said no! Stunned, the beggar turned and quickly walked away.

Potential danger always surrounds you, even during negotiations (you’re always negotiating). In some cases, you avoid it by staying outside of its bounds. At other times, you prevent it by the way you control conversations in an environment.

When the agents turned their attention back to their update, the informant asked, did you think that person was dangerous? The agent said, no. That beggar didn’t accept my answer the first few times. So, I had to alter the delivery of my words. By changing the tone of my reply and sounding more hostile, the panhandler sensed my, no, response as being more definitive. That’s why he walked away at that point.

Consider the following techniques to increase your control as you negotiate with those that might attempt to be defiant or with those that you’d like to control better.

 

Block and Bridge

Block and bridge is one way to alter the flow of a conversation. You’d implement its use as a conversation began to head in an unwanted direction – one that you feared would cause you to lose control of the discussion or interaction. You might also consider employing it when you wanted to enhance the flow of a conversation.

To invoke its use, when someone began making statements that you disagreed with, or citing accounts not aligned with where you wanted to take the conversation, block their comments. As an example, you can say, you have a point (block), and the outcome was less than expected (bridge). I suggest we take the following approach. It’s known to have better results.

The manner you block someone’s comments depends on the severity of the situation. If it’s one that might escalate to a high degree of irritation, you might consider blocking the other person’s statements with a harsh tone and words. If that’s not required, consider being milder in your intonation and demeanor.

 

Answering Questions With Questions

Answering questions with questions is an excellent way to gather more information than you give. It also allows you to control a conversation. Because the person asking questions is controlling the flow of the discussion. And that occurs as long as the other party is answering questions.

To implement this strategy, ask a question in response to one that’s asked of you. Do this instead of answering the initial query. Thus, instead of providing an answer to that question, you’d respond with one of your own.

As an example, if someone says, do I have to take this course of action? Your response might be, what do you think will happen if you don’t take this course of action? You’ve not answered the question. And if you get a response, you’ve gained more insight into the individual’s thoughts. Along with a possible solution to a situation if you choose to implement that person’s response.

 

Listening To What’s Not Said

Many people consider themselves good communicators because they pay attention to what someone says. In reality, you can be a better communicator and control conversations better by observing what’s someone doesn’t say.

As an example, if someone said, I didn’t do what you said I did. You might consider a person’s answer to mean, I didn’t do what you said I did. Yes, I did it, but not the way you stated it.

By listening for what’s not said, and the response of how something’s said, you’ll gain better insight and control of someone’s statements. You’ll also know more about how that person is communicating. And that will be worth its weight in gold.

 

Reflection  

In every environment, and every negotiation you’re in, think about how you’ll control that environment. In particular, consider how you’ll avoid dangerous situations, what form of control you’ll use, and where that might take you in your encounter. Because the better you control conversations, the more power and control you’ll have in every negotiation and situation that you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

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“How To Use Someone’s Prejudices To Your Advantage” – Negotiation Insight

“Someone’s prejudices can be harmful or beneficial. The perspective depends on who’s making the assessment.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Use Someone’s Prejudices To Your Advantage”

As a couple entered a restaurant, the hostess muttered to no one in particular – they must be confused. They appear to be destitute. To annoy the maître d’, she seated the couple in a prominent space. She wanted to use his prejudices against him and to her advantage. They had a long-running feud. And this was her way of irritating him.

When the maître d’ observed where the couple was sitting, he looked skyward and said, help me, lord. He hurried to the hostess and asked in a very sharp tone, why did you seat those people in that area? You know I don’t like individuals that appear out of place. They’ll detract from the ambiance and ruin the aura of the environment! The hostess smirked and said, you’re right – I did know that. She had just taken an opportunity to needle the maître d’ and use his prejudices to her advantage.

 

The previous story is an example of how someone’s prejudices can be used to your advantage. Doing so can stretch across different environments and occur in many settings. Think of the following when considering how you’ll advantage your position by using someone’s prejudices in your interactions with them.

 

Gender Consideration:

When taking into account the role someone’s gender may play in addressing their preferences, don’t allow that to be a significant factor. Instead, place a greater emphasis on the situation and the personality type of the individual. Some people may respond to situational exchanges that mimic the opposite sex of their gender. To possess a mindset of, she’s just a woman – she wouldn’t do that, can place you in a disadvantaged position.

 

Identifying Sources of Prejudices:

Before considering how you can use someone’s prejudices to your advantage, you must know what they value and why. Without this insight, you’ll never know which of their biases will be of most benefit to you. To gain insight:

  • Play the part – This means appearing as others in the environment to fit into your target’s perception of what’s normal – If you look out of place, you might incur their raft. And this would place you at a disadvantage. The more you appear like someone and their environment, the more they’ll see themselves in you.

 

When would you want to use someone’s prejudices to your advantage?

There can be a host of reasons that warrant using someone’s biases against them to increase your position.

  • Compliance – In some cases, you may want an individual to comply with your commands or desires. You may be in a position where force could be used to accomplish that. But that should not be your first action. Force can sometimes lead to the escalation of a situation, which in turn could lead to a loss of control.

 

  • Crisis – In crises, not only should you consider using someone’s prejudices against them, depending on the direness of the crisis, this ploy may be the best tool to use.

 

  • Guilt/shame – Someone’s prejudices can be used to create a sense of shame or guilt because the individual has strayed outside the bounds of his norms. By persuading the individual to view himself differently, you begin to influence his thought process, which can lead to you controlling his mind and thoughts.

 

  • Gather information – If you seek to gain information about the target’s associates, you can affirm his prejudices. He’ll view you as being like himself and his associates, which will usually free someone’s tongue to wag with hordes of insights and information.

 

  • Create an ally/turn against others – This is another case where appearing to be like your target can attract an intense affinity for you from him. Once a strong bond exists, the possibility will occur to turn this person against those that confront you. If you are outnumbered, creating a divide in this manner can enhance your odds.

 

Reflection:

Prejudices are inherent in everyone. Thus, they’ll be times when you can take advantage of their predispositions to increase your position. Knowing when and how to do so will give you a huge advantage when dealing with people … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How to Stop Biases From Turning Into Abuse” – Negotiation Insight

“Abuse stems from biases. And prejudice is the stem from which it grows.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

Click here to get the book!

“How to Stop Biases From Turning Into Abuse”

 

Every time he wore a red tie, she felt her feelings change towards him. At first, he didn’t notice when the changes occurred. Then, over time, he sensed the difference in her actions. Her disposition wasn’t unpleasant – she was not as approachable as she was usually. In return, he responded to her change by not being as agreeable to her. Neither of these individuals realized it, but they were interacting with each other based on the biases they possessed.

When people engage others, their biases drive the interaction. Thus, you should always be mindful of how you act based on the environment, those in it, and the thoughts you have about both. You should make the same assessment from the other person’s viewpoint too. If you’re not aware of the effect that has on you or them, you can become the target for abuse or an abuser.

To stop biases from turning into abuse, consider these factors:

  • How might specific triggers cause you to become irrational, and what exactly might you do in such a state?
  • What thoughts are driving you to view your current situation in a particular manner, and could it lead to hostilities?
  • Are you conflating past occurrences with the present one? If so, why?
  • What powers are you conceding by not controlling thoughts that could lead to you committing negative actions?
  • What are your thoughts and beliefs about the people in the environment, and do they stem from hidden prejudices you possess or those with whom you associate?
  • What actions are others in the environment engaged in that might cause you to have disdain for them?
  • How might you treat someone if you have contempt for them based on the beliefs that you share with others that dislike the same people?
  • Are you attempting to impress others by acting a particular way in your present environment?

The point of the questions above is to make you think. And to hopefully do so before a situation driven by your own or someone else’s biases cause you or others to become abusive. In times of heightened tension, regardless of its cause, if you don’t apply a brake to your automatic thought process, that process could lead to unwanted outcomes.

So, before entering into a situation that might escalate due to unseen or unspoken biases, consider how you might guard against them and how you might control an environment should they occur. The better prepared you are to deal with challenges that can escalate and become uncontrollable, the better you’ll be at spotting and containing those possibilities. That will put you in better control of yourself, others, and the environments you’re in … and everything will be right with the world.

 

What does this have to do with negotiations?

 

Every negotiator brings biases into a negotiation. They may originate from thoughts about certain ethnicities and how they respond or act with people from other backgrounds. They can also stem from sexual orientation, gender difference, or a host of mitigating thoughts. Some may derive from misguided beliefs that others possess that a negotiator may admire or aspire to emulate.

Regardless of there source(s), biases can negatively impact a negotiation. Therein lies the reason negotiators must be mindful of the prejudices that may exist in a situation. If one is not observant and doesn’t have a plan to deal with it, the unprepared negotiator can find himself dealing with dire occurrences. In reality, those acts may be red herrings intended to thwart your efforts by demeaning you. A deeper intent may be to push you away from the negotiation so that someone of more liking can get engaged.

Never underestimate the power and destruction that biases can have on an interaction. They can quietly erode your power and sap your mental energy. If you neglect such a force, you may be doing so at your delayed peril.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“To spot lies, observe body language. Body language will leak lies that words omit.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

 

 

Click here to get the book!

“How To Spot Lies To Be A Better Negotiator”

 

“I wasn’t sure what I was sensing. But the story didn’t seem right. I didn’t know if it came from the man’s darting eyes, or his constant lip licking. He seemed nervous. And that increased my suspicion of his guilt.” Those were the words of a police officer recounting his thoughts to a supervisor. He’d just captured a criminal that had been on the lam for decades.

One researcher found most people lie in everyday conversation. They do so to appear approachable and skilled. As a negotiator, when you assess someone’s possible deceit, what signs do you look for in their body language? Are there other nonverbal signals that you spot that give clues to someone’s degree of truthfulness?

When a person lies, their body emits clues. That’s because our body attempts to stay in a constant state of comfort. And, when it’s out of that state, the body displays signals that account for that lack of wellbeing. The following guidelines will assist you in spotting lies in those that attempt to deceive you. Having this information will allow you to heighten your senses when someone is lying.

 

Reading Body Language

  • Facial Reading
    • Forehead – When someone’s forehead begins to sweat, take note of what preceded that action. While the person may be sweating due to the heat, observe to what degree the sweating continues based on questions posed in the conversation. When coupled with other signs, you’ll have better insight into the person’s deceit or truthfulness.
    • Eyes – In some situations, a lier will avoid eye contact, because they know a lack of eye contact may indicate someone’s lying. And others will maintain eye contact longer than usual. To decern when someone may be lying, observe what’s regular eye contact for that person in different situations. As an example, note their eye movement when they’re calm compared to when they feel threatened in an attempt not to disclose the truth. Even when you first meet someone, within moments of the encounter, you can gauge their altering of eye movement. Note what may have caused it to occur.
    • Mouth – When people lie, and they believe someone may be spotting it, the more they speak, the drier their mouth may become. They may begin to lick their lips to offset the dryness or start to swallow excessively. Pay special attention to this act. While nerves may have a role in their actions, guilt from telling lies may be the real source.
    • Ears – Someone fondling their ears may be indicating that they can’t hear what you’re saying. But constant fondling is usually a sign that they’re attempting to comfort themselves. While they may be nervous, note some of the other signals to assess if there’s more to their fondling.

 

  • Body Reading
    • Neck – Rubbing the neck more than usual is another sign of tension, which may be caused by someone lying. Once again, observe other signals mentioned to gain greater insight into what this clue me be giving you.
    • Hands – Some people cover their mouth with their hand when lying. They’re attempting to hold back their words. If someone makes large gestures with their hands and then begin to make smaller ones while displaying some of the other signals noted, that might be another clue that they’re attempting to shield the lie that they want you to believe is the truth.
    • Fists – Hands that become fists indicate potential hostile actions to follow. That gesture in a tense situation may mean the person is tired of your inquisition. He may be experiencing anxiety from thinking you’re aware of his deceitful pronouncements.
    • Feet – When someone suspects that you’re aware of his lying, he may shift his body and point his feet towards the nearest exit. That gesture indicates that he wants to get out of the current environment because he feels uncomfortable.

 

Conclusion 

As you watch someone’s body language, look for a cluster of actions. No action standing alone can definitively denote their truthfulness. Remember, when someone lies, their body emits signals. Those signals may be fleeting. But, if you’re astute at recognizing them, you’ll be better at catching the lies that people tell. That will allow you to maintain greater control in all of your environments … and everything will be right with the world.

 

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

 

 

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