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Category: Personal Development

Categories
Best Practices Growth Leadership Skills

Quickly Increase your Performance

You have likely lost sleep at some point in your career trying to figure out what you could do to increase your performance at work or the performance of your team. If you are a leader with high ambition and big goals, it makes sense that you have given this a lot of thought.

I want to talk about one key skill that you can apply immediately to increase your own performance or help your team apply it for maximum results. You don’t need to buy anything, log onto anything, or spend time reading technical manuals. All you need to do is listen.

That’s right I’m talking about improving your listening skill as a way to increase your performance.

Ineffective listening is the cause of many breakdowns between co-workers, teams, and companies as well as the cause of many accidents. With ineffective listening instructions get missed, production decreases, sales and customers are lost, and personality clashes create poor morale.

When you are in a conversation are you more focused on talking or listening? We often forget that there are two parts of communicating, one is talking and the other is listening and in all actuality listening is the more important of the two components.

Poor listening habits can often be attributed to a lack of training and like any skill, listening can be learned, practiced, and mastered.

When you communicate through focused listening you build better relationships that will help take you personally and professionally to the next level of your success. When you want to make an important sale you have to know your client or customer, what their problems are and then communicate how you can solve their problem. Without listening you are going to miss out on the key facts you need to build that relationship and make the sale. Your client does not want to hear you talk about you and how great you are, they want you to listen to them and tell them how you can fix their problems.

The same is true for listening to your co-workers and team members; you have to know who they are in order to help motivate them to work the long hours on the priority project or to go above and beyond for the client. When you listen to those you work with you understand what drives them and that allows you to create stronger teams and more loyal employees. You know that turnover is very costly and this is one aspect of retaining employees, letting them know you are listening and that you care about them through your actions, which start with listening.

When your intent in communicating is all about what you are going to say next, you are not truly listening. I know you are conscious of how rude it is to interrupt another person while having a conversation and if you are thinking to yourself during the same conversation “what am I going to say next,” you are in effect doing the same thing. You did interrupt them because you were not listening, so what they just said may as well not been said since you didn’t hear it.

This makes listening the key step to a good conversation and even more importantly a tough conversation. You want to listen to understand, listen to gather information, and listen with no interruption (audibly or in your head.)

Once you have listened and heard what the other person is telling you, then you have the opportunity to talk. But your turn to talk means clarifying what they have said, making sure they know you heard them, and confirming what they want and need.

The goal of most communication should be to have the other person do more of the talking while you guide the conversation with open-ended questions that are meant to be clarifying and compassionate. When you have clarified everything you can then ask them “do you mind if I share with you my thoughts on this situation?” Most likely they are ready to hear your thoughts because you took the time to listen and they felt heard. At this point they really do want to know what you think.

You can also let them feel heard by saying “I hear that this is stressful for you and that makes sense based on what you told me…..” Get their confirmation that you hard them correctly and ask if you can share some ideas that might help. They are ready to hear what you have to share because they appreciate the time you took to really hear them even if what you have to share is not good news.

The other thing to remember is that what you say is important, but how you say it is just as important if not more important. People will remember how you made them feel long after they have forgotten what you actually said. If you can remain calm and compassionate they are going to feel it and appreciate you.

Next time someone comes to you with a problem or an idea make sure you are ready to fully listen and if it’s not a time where you can give them your undivided attention tell them that. Say “now is not a good time for me to be fully present, can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” Let them know what they have to say is important and you want to be sure you are fully present to hear them. Remember people want to be heard and they will appreciate this, which goes a long way with clients and employees.

Not only will this help improve your performance as you start to hear more ideas around you, it will create bonds with those who need and want your services.

 

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Women In Business

Dads: Raise Your Daughters to be CEOS

Father’s Day is coming up, so in the spirit of honoring the male role models in our lives, I’d like to share a special note with all the dads and other men (and women) out there about how to raise your daughters to be a successful, confident and happy future executive.

Over the years, I’ve spoken in front of myriad professional women’s groups, and coached women at every level and in every industry imaginable, and one factor regularly surfaces as having a major influence on their current levels of confidence and self-efficacy: their relationship with their fathers.

I often get asked how I’ve developed my confidence and sense of self, and more and more I realize how much of the credit goes to my father (and mother) for setting this foundation in me in all these ways and more.

Dad (a music teacher) encouraged me to audition for all-state band (I played the alto sax), which I did all four years of high school, even though I only made it once. After each audition, we’d talk about what went right and wrong and how to do better next time.

He pushed me to take honors classes but didn’t flinch when I agreed to take AP history and Spanish but not calculus (thank goodness!)

(I’ll probably get flack for this, but I’m going to mention it anyway.) He also always told me I was pretty, even when my ever-fluctuating adolescent weight was on the top end of the yo-yo curve. To a teenage girl’s self-esteem, it mattered. A lot.

When I decided to go for my PhD instead of getting a “regular job” he asked probing questions so we could discuss the pros and cons and the best way to make it work.

And he never once gave me a guilt trip about my biological clock or his (undeniable) desire for grandchildren even though I was 40 before I finally met my husband.

He let me know that he recognized my efforts and intentions, trusted my judgment and respected my decision, even when we didn’t see eye to eye.

Most importantly, even when I had genuinely messed up, even though he was really upset with me in the moment, he never belittled me or called me names, and he made it clear that he still loved me.

So for all you parents, here are four strategies for how to communicate with your daughters in a way that builds her confidence and empowers her with the skills and perspective to be a successful leader:

  • Talk to your daughter. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations, and ask tough and sometimes personal questions to help her think through things, then be prepared to listen. Listen to truly understand her motivations rather than to identify the holes in her argument and formulate your rebuttal.
  • Challenge her to try new things, and set ambitious but attainable goals. Celebrate victories, acknowledge and praise progress and efforts. Recognize the difference between when to say, “it’s okay, you can’t win ‘em all” and “I don’t think you really gave it your best. What happened?”
  • Invite her to initiate difficult conversations with you instead of hiding her true feelings.
  • Even when she does make a mistake or otherwise does something you don’t approve of, make it clear that the you think the decision or action was dumb, not that she is stupid. Then – possibly an hour or so later after you’ve cooled off – remind her that you love her and are proud of her no matter what.

If you can fine-tune your objectivity regarding this aspect of your relationship with your daughters now – no matter what their age or family or professional status – that sets a foundation for success that no fancy MBA can match!

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

Categories
Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

Beware the Shifty Shades of Gray

Author Dan Veitkus

The important distinction between embellishment and intellectual honesty – a domain where relevant facts and information are not omitted, nor are they presented with an intention to mislead – has resurfaced in the public consciousness. Always relevant, this distinction should serve as a reminder to all leaders that trustworthy communication is dependent on accurate facts.

Disciples of servant leadership share a common allergic reaction to the “gray zone”, with preference towards trustworthy and consistent communication. Stephen M.R. Covey promotes the “trust tax” appellation to accurately describe the withdrawal made against our credibility and our productivity when we fail to speak, act and operate truthfully and ethically. The gray area that may surface for debate in business, politics or science should not be confused with the essential requirement to be intellectually honest in our communications.

 Consider the implications of a study by Mercer Management Consulting that revealed 60 percent of employees surveyed did not trust that management was communicating with them honestly.

 What does this say about the environment we live and work in? Can we really expect to make progress on business priorities such as growth, employee engagement, customer retention and breakthrough innovation when leadership fails the fundamental premise of trust? When a leader ventures into the gray zone, their credibility and trust with constituents will only decline. And the option for recovery? Not guaranteed.

Consistent intellectual honesty is essential to establish credibility as a leader. Why is this consistency such a critical requirement for leaders? For starters, auditors look for it. Shareholders demand it. Athletes practice it. Consistency is an essential part of the formula for sustainable success. Consistency guides organizations when they set policies and guidelines. Consistency allows leaders to manage difficult situations fairly and effectively. And the practice of consistent communication creates an environment of trust among colleagues and stakeholders – even when they have good reason to disagree – that is essential in order to deliver sustainable results.

Successful leaders know that repeatable success on the field of play, in the boardroom or at home depends on consistent execution of the fundamentals. They also embrace this truth: The credibility of their leadership demands intellectual honesty.

“Trust is equal parts character and competence,” asserts Stephen M.R. Covey. “You can look at any leadership failure and it’s always a failure of one or the other.”

Let’s look at three straightforward commitments that can effectively guide every leader to stay the course and avoid the Shifty Shades of Gray:

  • Get comfortable with the expression “I don’t know.” There are times when genuine vulnerability is appropriate and, “I don’t know” may be the best and most truthful answer.
  • Slow down our jaws and our thumbs. When we take time to think about our comments and commitments – even a moment or two before expressing them – we often save ourselves from the temptation to exaggerate, embellish or re-write history to suit our personal agenda.
  • Take an inventory of the trust taxes and trust dividends you are generating each day and avoid the trap of excusing yourself for playing in the gray zone. Too many folks find themselves justifying the drift into gray to avoid conflict, to advance an agenda or to shape a narrative, which may be detached from reality. The sooner you pull back the better. The gray zone can lead to the dark side, the place completely void of all trust.

And when trust is broken, the game is over — even if you don’t realize it.

The commitment to practice the discipline of intellectual honesty will require effort and practice. But the effort invested will be far less than the tax extracted by your superior, your partner, your friends and even your hitherto adoring followers and constituents if you choose to operate in the gray zone.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

E=mc2 – The Formula for Detecting Exceptional Servant Leadership

In my chosen profession, I meet, interview, screen or coach more than 1200 executives and business leaders, annually. With a continuously expanding sample size that would be the envy of any statistical research project, I’ve observed some patterns that have been shared in prior posts.

One pattern has emerged that can be summarized in the most elegant of equations, authored by Albert Einstein but for this illustration adapted with a deliberate replacement value for the variables: E=mc2

(E)xceptional leadership points to the presence of (M)indfulness and (C)haracter, squared, to the second power. That second power, in practice, is Consistency.

Mindfulness, unquestionable Character and Consistency are the core attributes held sacred and deliberately practiced by servant leaders. They are devoted to these maxims of self-discipline to sharpen their skills for the purposeful intention of driving consistent outcomes for themselves and the organizations they lead. The presence of these consistent outcomes allows us to measure the value of their practice.

I recently met with a newly appointed CEO who was quick to throw the prior regime under the bus, suggesting, “they took that servant leadership thing too far.” Further discussion revealed his bias towards an autocratic leadership dogma. With a bit of research and reflection and a touch of mindfulness for good measure, this CEO may have recognized the consistency of positive results that generally flows from the stewardship of servant leaders. The origin of this pattern of positive results and the exceptional potential generated under such leaders can be traced back to the formula: E=mc2

The practice of Mindfulness offers a leader the clarity required to consume, assess and prioritize enormous levels of input – data, feedback, reports, trends and more – necessary to distill that which is most relevant for a team’s mission. When teams witness depth of Character that is authentic, never compromised by situation or context, they are more likely to put their trust and their full commitment into the collective cause towards organizational achievement. The leader that demonstrates Consistency of behavior and action, through both highs and lows, is the one that earns unwavering confidence and loyalty from their subordinates and constituents. Consistency, in a special way, is the purest measurement of trust. When we trust how, what and why a leader will act in any given situation, we are more likely to follow with conviction and give our very best towards the pursuit of achieving the vision set forth by that leader. Quite simply, a calm conviction develops in the presence of Consistency and this conviction often converts latent potential into measurable performance.

Whether you’re meeting a candidate for the first time, developing a new business partnership or considering an investment in a promising entrepreneur, consider the formula for detecting exceptional servant leadership and seek to understand deeply the value the other party assigns to each variable:

    • Do they value Mindfulness? Ask them to describe their practice of Mindfulness.

    • Ask them to provide an example of a time when their Character was put to the test and how they responded.

    • Prompt them to explain their routines and provide examples that allow you to assess for Consistency in their personal and professional cadence.

You will find these questions are equally effective when performing reference checks. Solicit from references their impressions of Mindfulness, Character and Consistency in candidates, entrepreneurs or leaders they may be sponsoring.

You can discard the clever questions you’ve learned or heard and effectively evaluate exceptional leadership potential with E=mc2. If you confirm these variables to your personal satisfaction, the foundation is present for exceptional leadership and the pursuit of exceptional results.

Categories
Best Practices Growth Personal Development Women In Business

What Makes a Personal Brand

What Makes a Personal Brand… Be Desired, Envied and BuzzWorthy

 

There are a lot of things that can define a person’s businesses and personal brand. It could be a picture, someone’s face, a logo, their reputation, or even an emotion. A brand is something that defines who you are personally and professionally. More importantly, it’s what pops into the public’s mind when the thought of you, or your business comes up. A good brand should be able to stand out, so it can be well known and recognized. You also want your brand to represent you. The way you portray your personal brand will be how people become familiar with you. For example, if you represent your brand to be fun loving and laid back. That’s what people will know you for, an easy going, and fun type of company or business. If you portray your business to be professional and strict, people will come to know your brand to be a “no nonsense” type of business, etc. Although there are a lot of things that can affect how your brand is portrayed, there are also a lot of things that can determine your brands sustainability.

 

One quality that everyone wants in their brand is sustainability. It’s great to have a business that sticks in a person’s head for the moment, but the trick is to sustain that. One of the most important things to remember when building your own brand is how you, your business, or your company behaves will directly affects your brands image and sustainability. For example, a media personality is judged by how they present themselves both through the media and their own personal life. So if they are portraying themselves to be one thing, but the public witnesses those people acting another way, it will greatly affect the way the public eye sees them as a genuine media personality.

 

As the leader of Girl Scouts, I would have to remind my staff that although they’re off the clock on weekends pole dancing is not acceptable. You are always representing the organization and your personal brand.

 

It’s the same way with personal branding. If you portray your brand to be a picture of happiness and structure, but when someone walks into your office it’s cluttered and unorganized, that will reflect badly on your brands image. It will also affect sustainability. Your brand will not last if you or your business does not come off as genuine. You have to maintain the image you are looking to portray within your brand. A lot of people will always stick with a certain brand because the brand is genuine, authentic, or even because it seems like a family brand, which takes emotion into consideration. My grandmother would say, “If your name was on the front-page news… the media was buzzing, what do you want them to say about you?”  

 

When building your own personal brand, think about what your business or company is about, think about what the main focus of your business or company is. Do you want your brand to portray an understanding, people friendly sort of environment?  Emotional engagement is a big part of learning to create a brand that is long lasting, and memorable. People choose brands based on a certain emotion that prompted them to choose one, over another. Learning how to use emotional engagement to connect with consumers or clients will build a brand that is personal, trusting, and understanding. It will build a brand that people will trust over any other for years to come, regardless of what another brand may be offering. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed perfect formula for creating a brand that will last and become successful. However, there are certain tips and tricks that can help you to understand what it will take for your specific brand to be successful, and long lasting. This takes creating a strong action plan.

 

If you’re in the process of building your own personal brand and have hit a few bumps in the road, you may want to implement a little change management and organizational happiness to help improve the success rate of your brand. Learn more about emotional engagement and incorporate that into the building process of your brand. Remember that how the people and the business operate behind closed doors will define how people look at your personal brand. Be organized… be transparent! Personal happiness is something every brand should portray. No matter how much you use change management to improve the path of your personal brand, if you don’t have an organized plan or idea just like in business, it will be quite hard to do things in a way that look professional. And there always has to be a certain level of professionalism, at least a perception of professionalism. The most important thing is to figure out what will work best for your specific situation, and always practice being your authentic self. Be desired, envied by others, and buzz worthy in a good way.

 

Be Unstoppable

 

 

Our program can help you do just that. We offer the tools and strategies so you too can Be Unstoppable Together.   

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post; want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

By Connie Pheiff, Unstoppable DIVA

Pheiffgroup.com * unstoppablespeaker.la

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

Creating a Safety Zone

What happens when employees don’t feel safe telling you or other leaders in your organization that there are problems? I mean real problems like the project that is already a million dollars over budget still has no solution in sight or the new manager that seems great on the surface is a bully and people are thinking of leaving because of him.

 

In my 10 years as a consultant I have seen too many employees complain to each other, talk about the problems amongst themselves, and then recoil at the idea of taking that information to management, the people who could actually do something about the situation.

 

I would like to think that senior management wants to know what is really happening in their organizations and departments so they can solve problems, but it does not seem that most people feel the same way I do and would rather keep this stuff a secret. I’m pretty sure the crux of the issue is that this type of feedback is scary unless the environment has created a safety zone. Getting and giving honest feedback can be hard if the culture isn’t set up for it to be done right.

 

If you are running an organization or a department, don’t you want to solve problems that lead to decreased productivity and morale? Doesn’t increased employee engagement and satisfaction result in increased profitability? If this type of problem keeps you up at night let’s get down to brass tacks so you can turn this around.

 

You need to create a safe environment, a safety zone in your office and it also means creating that same environment during team and project meetings, where anyone can air their concerns, provide suggestions, or ask questions. It is two-fold: an environment that allows people to come one-on-one and share feedback, and an environment where teams can work together in a safe space, where mistakes are discussed, changes are allowed, and no one hides the truth in fear of looking stupid or worse, being yelled at or asked to leave.

 

The question then becomes, how do you create an environment where it is not only OK to air grievances and highlight problems, but also where it is encouraged? How do you do this so no one feels like they are throwing others under the bus or being hung out to dry? How do you do it so that it is part of a culture of productivity and positivity?

 

Start with authenticity and transparency

If you want others to be honest and transparent with you and with each other you have to set an example. As a leader you start with authentic communication. You tell everyone that you know how difficult it can be to share the truth when it hurts. You admit that it is hard for you too, but that you know it’s important. You get real, you talk from the heart, and you show them the way. If you are asking for feedback and honest communication you want to make sure your people know they will get the same from you.

 

Be honest about honesty

If you really want this open honest communication you have to mean it. That may be easier said than done. It can be hard to hear the truth so be sure you are ready for it and be sure you have set up a non-retribution feedback loop. The only way to get honest feedback is to ensure that the people coming to you are not going to be reprimanded for their honesty.

 

Be clear on what you want to know

If you want people to come to you and let you know what they are observing in terms of productivity, then tell them you want to know that. If you want to hear the truth about failing projects, let them know that it’s OK to tell you. If there are certain things you do not feel are your place to get involved in, let them know if HR or another manager is a better feedback loop. Make sure they know who to go to with what challenges.

 

Require Respect

There are three ways to provide feedback, one that is blunt and hurtful, one that sugarcoats the real problem to avoid conflict, and one that provides for constructive criticism and feedback in a respectful way. Set the tone to ensure that all feedback provided to you, amongst team members, and from you are from the last category. Let everyone know that you will not tolerate rude or hurtful feedback and that sugarcoating the problem is not the answer either. Let them know that you require respect, but expect honesty.

 

Creating this culture might feel difficult because change is not often easy. Sometimes you need to bring people in to help make cultural changes, to coach individuals on communication, or just to support you in your efforts. If you have a coach, mentor, or change expert you should consult with them to see how they can help. If you don’t have a right-hand person to call upon you can always reach out to C-Suite Results to discuss your needs and bounce ideas around. Where I can’t help I have a vast resource list of those who can. Visit www.c-suiteresults.com for more information and resources.

 

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

5 Ways CEOs and Business Owners Harm Their Corporate Brand

5 ways CEOs & Business Owners harm their company brand

 

As a CEO today, whatever the size of your business, your personal brand is a hugely significant part of the company brand. The way you communicate internally and to the outside world, how you lead, how you manage your visibility and profile is a dimension of the brand that speaks volumes about your corporate personality and adds the authentic layer that is critical today to build trust and respect in your company.

 

Here are some of the ways in which I’ve seen business leaders dilute and damage their corporate brand without knowing it:

Not paying enough attention to the fact that their personal brand IS the company brand and vice versa.

As business owner and/or CEO, your behaviors will be completely indicative of the way the company does business in the eyes of your clients and potential clients, and the way the company does business will create a perception of you as a person. Make sure you are not damaging either brand and work on creating the necessary alignment.

Not paying suppliers on time

Unfortunately, this never gets attributed to just the Accounts Department, this once again reflects your personal brand and labels you and your business as disrespectful, disorganized and uncaring, all of which may well be untrue. Furthermore this gets talked about and with social media and review sites like Yelp and TripAdvisor now, it spreads quickly!

Not being visible enough in your target market

 

You are missing a huge marketing opportunity for extra exposure, to build authenticity and give your company more ‘personality’ by being hidden in your office. Develop a strategy to be more visible on social media, write blogs, speak at local or national events, get yourself on expert panels, attend events that you might normally avoid. Create a visibility plan that aligns with your strategic objectives as a business, and do something on it to raise your visibility every week.

Not paying attention to levels of employee engagement

You need all your employees to be true advocates of your business and your products & services and to reinforce your company brand messaging in their own individual and authentic way. This results in creating improved customer experiences and a better brand for you as an employer. Understand your employees, listen to them and look after them. Happy employee = happy customers.

Not being innovative

 

Doing what you’ve always done will not get you to where you want to be in the future. With millennials representing an ever-increasing percentage of your employees, clients and customers, you need to be continually looking at remaining relevant and creating a workplace that your people love and can thrive and develop in. You’ll be labelled dated in your approach if not, and damage not only your company brand but your personal brand too.

Categories
Best Practices Human Resources Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Love Endures Storms

Did you wake up this morning not wanting to face the day? Just to put 2 feet on the ground, rise up and face your obstacle, your fear, your pain takes courage. No matter what storm is circling in your life, it cannot last.

Absolutely, it is shaking you up, making you feel uncomfortable.  That feeling, the one that is stirring your soul is called LOVE, inner LOVE. When everything around you is dark, look to inner LOVE, to find the strength to endure the storm.

 

Are you facing an obstacle at the office or at home? 

We all go through storms of life to move us, put us on a new path, a

 different path or perhaps a “wake up call” for change. When you are in the midst of your storm, rise up, find that strength, the inner love and pay very close attention to the message. The storm is stirring you up like a big roar but quietly whispering a message, a gentle push toward your new awakening. Pay close attention ….Don’t Miss It!

 

Love, especially self love is the #1 Motivator in the world.  It compels you to rise to your greatness.  How you react to your storms of challenge and circumstance come from your Love Placement System (LPS) which is a belief system inside yourself that has been developed over the years. 

 

If you are faced with a challenge at the office, how you want to react is triggering you to grow and rise to your greatness.  When you feel the storm, it’s calling out to you to rise to become better.  What can you do to be a better leader in your company, or perhaps a better husband or wife at home?  It’s simple – STORMS are lightening bolts shining brightly on what needs to change.  How you quiet your storm is based on your ability to see it as a lesson and a gift.   If you practice healthy self love, you will not hit the easy button.  You will sit with your storm and receive the lesson and RISE to your greatest potential.

Don’t React!  That doesn’t calm the storm.

And, in your storm, Be gentle with yourself. You are exactly in the midst of the uncomfortable for a reason.  Give yourself 1000 reasons to hold on to your inner LOVE. The strength to endure is in YOU!  The ability to grow and evolve into your best self will only make you a better leader in your professional life and a better person for all the relationships in your life.

 

If you notice that you keep facing the same storm, then you keep missing the messages, the lessons and the gift

 It doesn’t fade ~ Not until you learn how to Love yourself enough to seek growth to become the greatest version of yourself.  GO RISE!

 

 

Spread the Love,

Debbie Forth

Love Architect, Love Coach, Speaker

C-Suite Network Advisor & Contributing Editor

Debbie@DebbieForth.com

DebbieForth.com

“Architecting Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out”

 

Since 2012, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in creating the love-life of their dreams. Life’s too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled by one’s self — so what are you waiting for? Let me help you learn and develop better ways to handle the issues that are standing in the way of your goals. Are you ready to be held accountable to making the choices and changes to transform by falling in love with self and being ready to give/receive love to others?

“It’s with in our own stories that unlock the doors of healing for self and others.”

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

Stop Listening to ‘Them’

There’s a lot of personal development that goes into achieving professional excellence, and the road to success is sometimes a bit harder for women. It’s not always harder, but the unfortunate truth is that for some of us, it does prove to be a bit more challenging. In order to achieve excellence, you have to acquire knowledge. Educating yourself and finding out what has worked for other successful women can be a good approach.

However, we often confuse honest advice or guidance, with unhelpful noise. Some people may tell you exactly what you are ‘supposed’ to be doing, or how you are ‘supposed’ to be acting. Others have probably even told you that you’re wasting your time, or have unrealistic goals. Once you stop listening to ‘them’, you will be on the road to excellence. Each person’s road to success is a unique experience. What worked for Bob or Brenda, may not work for you. So don’t put too much thought into other people telling you that, “You’re going about it all wrong”. On the other hand, it is good to take advice from strong successful woman, who understand that everyone’s situation is unique.

I know first-hand how much others can kill your ambition when they start giving their intrusive opinions about what you are striving for, or how you’re going about it. Sometimes, even a comment that is meant to lift you up can drag you down. They can create the illusion that your goals are farther away than they appear. At times all of that noise can seem like poison to your ambition, and sometimes it is. Most of the time people are just trying to look out for you, they have your best interest in mind. “What you’re trying sounds ambitious, but it’s never worked for anyone else. Why do you think you’re different?” They don’t realize that they’re actually bringing you down. You have to be the one to understand what is actually helping you and what is not.

Stop listening to ‘them’ and start listening to people that is not only successful in the business world, but also successful in helping other women achieve their goals. I have been named the Unstoppable DIVA for a reason. I continue to push myself and others to put your best self forward. If you want to be an Unstoppable DIVA, your best bet is to listen to the advice of someone who has already achieved that level of success.

Our program can help you do just that. We offer the tools and strategies so you too can Be Unstoppable Together.     

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post; want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

By Connie Pheiff, Unstoppable DIVA

Pheiffgroup.com * unstoppablespeaker.la

Categories
Growth Personal Development

Are you sitting on the sidelines of love?

THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Are you sitting on the sidelines of love? Are you waiting for Fed Ex to drop him/her on your door step?
Yes, you know who you are.

You are going through life with one big toe in the water, never committing until the perfect package is mysteriously delivered to your heart. You find something wrong with every person who crosses your path.

As a Love Architect, I believe whole heartedly in ‘knowing’ who you want and what you need in a partner. I definitely believe in making a ‘flexible’ list of the values, characteristics, physical traits, and personal heart’s desires that will serve your soul at it’s deepest level. I have all my clients do this before and after each relationship.
Why?

We are in a constant state of growth and evolution. The people who are coming in and out of your life are rubbing up against you, teaching you, opening up wounds to be healed, triggering you into possibility.

You can either stay stuck and ignore the gift in each relationship or you can ask the question “What am I to learn? What was the lesson from this relationship?”

All relationships and connections are teaching us how to love.

You didn’t arrive at success and excellence in your careers without stepping into and through the pain of growth. The challenges of college, all the late nights studying, researching. and learning to master your craft. The continuous networks of mentors, colleagues and thought leaders that developed you. Don’t forget about the failures and perhaps complete change in direction as you were stumbling into your passion. The countless hours, lost time with loved ones and family just to meet that next deadline. You have felt the pressure of working just to survive, to keep yourself or your family in the life style that meets public perception. Where you are today, was derived from a plan, the ability to step into action, to have a little faith in the process, and most importantly the ability to change and grow with the beauty in the obstacles and triumphs.

You have mastered architecting your career like a champ. But, this ‘Love Thing’ is not easy.

Sitting on the sidelines complaining, that’s easy! It’s easy to sit on the sidelines, complaining that you haven’t met the right person or perhaps you are ‘miserably married’ and ignoring the truth of your relationship.

Let me keep it real right now! Ask yourself this question, “Are you ready for FED-EX to drop him/her into your life? Are you at your best? Are you showing up as your best self, without judgment or blame for the person you vowed to do life with?”

We have all made the mistake, myself included, of wanting this amazing partner for our life yet not even doing the work to be the best. Let me be clear, you will not receive the gift of the beautiful love you are destined to have until you are at your best. The best does not mean only soaring in your career. In fact, most of the successful and high achieving executives that I coach have relationships that swirl in the toilet.

Let go of your ego and recognize the truth! It’s not the size of your bank account that attracts healthy love, it’s your ability to connect to yourself and others. We all want to feel worthy and loved, it’s our purpose for existence. You find the right partner and you will move mountains for them, serving them from the deepest, most vulnerable places of who you are becoming.

If you are your best, you show up to every relationship ‘the best’ and will teach your partner / beloved how to love. Trust me, they will grow with you or be left stuck. The most successful relationships are not those who do not have strife or struggle.

The most successful relationships are derived from 2 individual souls who die unto each other and resurrect as 1.

Healthy relationships come from 2 committed people who are united in love and growing through life together. Relationships are not always meant to last but they are meant to grow you up. If you can find the right person who loves all the beauty of who you are, can kiss the scars and wounds of your journey and dance beside you toward future challenges – then hold on tight!

How do you become your best? You know that list you made about who you want your beloved to be, all the amazing traits, values, the person that your heart desires to love ~ Become that!

A little tip from your favorite Love Architect, “If you put on your list that you want a person with a Rock-Star body, then you better have one too. Don’t be sitting around on the couch, eating a bag of Cheetos thinking you can change, or do the work ‘after’ Fed Ex delivers your beloved. You better be at your best or striving daily to be exactly who/what you desire.”

If you are currently in a relationship that is swirling in the toilet. I encourage you to make the list – Change You First. Your partner will most likely follow your leadership and mirror who you are becoming. Let go of ego and fears, show up everyday giving your best.

Stop sitting on the sidelines of love. It’s time for you to do the work, let go of past baggage and beliefs, learn the art of loving you first, to truly understand how/why you love the way you do and re-frame your story to be ready for love!

You have everything you need to be successful in all areas of your life but if you need a little guidance, someone to help you design a plan to fast track your success, or hold you accountable, I am always here.

Spread the Love,

Debbie Forth
Love Architect, Love Coach, Speaker
C-Suite Network Advisor & Contributing Editor
Debbie@DebbieForth.com
DebbieForth.com
“Architecting Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out”

Since 2012, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in creating the love-life of their dreams. Life’s too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled by one’s self — so what are you waiting for? Let me help you learn and develop better ways to handle the issues that are standing in the way of your goals. Are you ready to be held accountable to making the choices and changes to transform by falling in love with self and being ready to give/receive love to others?

“It’s with in our own stories that unlock the doors of healing for self and others.”