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Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence

Click here to watch Accountability: 3 Steps to Holding Yourself Accountable to Grow Your Influence 

It’s not the skills and techniques you and your team learn that make you more influential.  It’s what you do with what you learn.

Accountability is the most difficult aspect of having influence Monday to Monday®.

This video will share with you three steps you can take today to avoid slipping into your old habits.  These three steps will keep you focused and disciplined to do the work of communicating with influence Monday to Monday® until it becomes ingrained in you. 

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Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

Do You Want Your Employees to Feel like Volunteers or Slaves?

Do you Want Employees to Feel Like Volunteers or Slaves? 

If you are a leader of a team now, ponder this idea: everyone in your organization is a volunteer.  Would you treat them differently?  Why would you want to treat employees as volunteers and how can you start?  This blog will touch on the answers.

I bet each of us, at some point, has been a volunteer (on a board or team).  It is usually a huge challenge because often only 20-30% of the people do all the work.  The other 70-80% either coast or don’t even bother to show up.  You’re probably thinking, “Well that problem is often true with employees as well” and you would be correct.  Leaders who want to treat employees as volunteers must make two important shifts.  The first shift must be how we think about our leadership responsibilities.  The second change must be how we act as a leader.

Why should we want volunteers?

Treating employees as volunteers is the foundation for creating an engaged workforce. Volunteers feel empowered and feel a part of something important larger than themselves.  Volunteers do tasks because they want to.  Disengaged (slaves) do things because they must (they are bribed or threatened).  Disengaged employees are compliant.  Volunteers put in extra effort because they love what they do.

Volunteers are committed emotionally and intellectually.  The disengaged are controlled by domineering forces either spoken or unspoken.  Engaged (volunteers) employees creates greater profitability, quality customer service, and innovative ideas.  Disengaged employees cause costs to go up.  Study after study shows the benefits of an engaged workforce.  Treating employees as volunteers will lead toward higher engagement, higher profitability, and expanding success in many areas of performance.

During slavery in the United States certain behaviors were prevalent among the slaves. These included the avoidance of work, theft, and an outward defiance of authority. One could interpret these behaviors as demonstrations of resistance for the loss of freedom.  In my experience, these same behaviors are prevalent with disengaged and actively disengaged employees.  My theory is an increase in freedom and autonomy will help eliminate most, or all, of these resistance behaviors.

Shift #1 – Change how we think about our responsibilities

It is not a bigger challenge to manage volunteers it is just different and it requires a shift in thinking and it requires different skills.  The shift is to stop managing people but instead lead them with an environment which encourages self-management.  Volunteers self-manage.  The disengaged (slaves) require management control.

There is an important distinction between self- management and manager-dependent management.  Most organizations have a manager-dependent environment.  Manager-dependent environment encourages employees to wait to receive ideas for improvement from their managers before making any significant changes in performance.  This type of environment creates more fear and less innovation because there is less freedom and less autonomy.  Self-Management increases employee engagement and enables natural feedback mechanisms and autonomy.  This accelerates the decisions and therefore accelerates the ability to adapt to change.

Shift #2 – Change how we behave

Typical managers often put in controls and policies that create compliance.  Leaders of volunteers spend their time helping employees understand the mission, vision, values, and strategy of the organization.  They must also explain how the employee’s responsibilities fit into these and how they can contribute to the achievement of all of those items.  These leaders spend time explaining “why” the work is so important.

Leaders of volunteers spend time helping employees match their skills to the task they hope to perform.  If the task is too difficult they will refuse it because it might embarrass them if they perform poorly.  Conversely, if the task is too easy they get bored.  A leader of volunteers must match the skill of the volunteer or it won’t get done.  A typical manager will use carrots and sticks to attempt to ensure compliance to get the task done regardless of the match of skills with the task.

Typical managers must spend a good deal of time with attorneys to understand how to force accountability.  Managers of volunteers continuously manage trust.  Attorneys are unnecessary in a culture of trust.  The leaders of volunteers must facilitate the removal of barriers to performance.  Typical managers must create new rules when mistakes are found or when jobs remain incomplete.  Typical managers see the person as the root cause of problems.  Leaders of volunteers review the system to remove the barriers that prevent the trusted volunteers from doing their jobs.

Typical managers use performance appraisals and pay for performance policies.  Performance appraisals control behaviors with threats to either future promotional opportunities or future pay (if pay-for-performance is linked to the appraisal).  Leaders must be willing to let go of these addictive policies.  They are inconsistent with a culture of engaged volunteers.

Thinking differently about people

To create an environment of volunteers, leaders must begin to think about employees as unlimited human potential not as human resources.  This potential, when released, can possibly add unlimited value to the organization.   Resources can be used up.  Potential can be tapped as an unlimited supply.  I suggest the Human Resources Department to change its name to the Human Potential Department.

Thinking differently about policies

What happens when people stop performing or stop following the rules?  When this happens, they are telling you “I don’t want to work here anymore.” Accept their decision.  Let them go physically because they have already de-selected mentally.

When you decide to treat employees as volunteers it can be scary because the skills are different and require discipline and effort.  Yet, it is the future.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

The Hidden Value of Trust in Negotiations

“The Hidden Value of Trust In A Negotiation (DACA)”

When someone trusts you in a negotiation (you’re always negotiating), they’re more likely to believe what you tell them. Thus, there’s hidden value in trust when negotiating from a long-term perspective. Once trust is broken it’s difficult to regain it. Therefore, broken trust sets off negative ripples that can have unintended and unexpected consequences in the future.

Let’s look at the trust factor with DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) as an example. The kids in the DACA program were brought to the US by their parents. In most cases, they had no input as to whether they would stay where they were, or travel to the US. They instinctively trusted their parents with that decision. Then, there’s the US government.

The US government basically said, if you register for the DACA program and abide by our requirements (i.e. check in every 2 years and make payment to stay in the program, go to college, serve in the military, stay employed, pay taxes), you’ll be OK in the US.

Some registered and some didn’t. Those in the DACA program trusted the government and abided by their mandate. Then, trust was thrust out the window. Those in the DACA program cried, ‘We did what you asked of us! Why are you going back on your word? We trusted you!’ Those that did not register for the program, if not stated out loud silently thought, ‘see, I told you so; you should not have trusted them. The government can’t be trusted. Now, the information you gave them will be used against you.’ The ripple that such a message sent to non-DACA members was, stay in the shadows and let the darkness protect you.

In the eyes of those in the program, the US government went back on its word and broke the trust it had conveyed. Suffice it to say, the ripples set forth from this situation will cause the government not to be trusted in future matters by different entities. They’ll mentally relate their situation to the resemblance of the DACA plight. That means those submitting information requested by the government will be skeptical at best and cynical at worse when contemplating a course of action that they should adopt. In essence, through the loss of trust, the government has made it more difficult for others to trust it.

If I tell you the truth, will you believe what I say and trust me? If my perception of the truth is altered in the future, will I be declared a liar? If so, what will become of our future negotiation efforts? Those are questions every negotiator needs to consider before and during a negotiation. That’s the hidden force that trust has on a negotiation.

When trust is the foundation upon which a negotiation is built, the truth becomes a happier companion in the negotiation. Therefore, when the truth as one knows it shifts, the shifting of the truth can still have believability.

Change allows you to embrace new experiences, and everything changes. Thus, what’s true today may be proven not to be valid tomorrow. Nevertheless, once trust has been established and nurtured by consistency, over a period of time change can withstand the onslaught of doubt and suspension. In so doing, even when your negotiations become difficult, you’ll have less of a challenge finding a path to success, simply because you had trust adding hidden value to your negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

What are your takeaways? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 “Without trust, failure awaits you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator and Body Language Expert

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Don’t Let Great Millennial Ideas Slip Through Your Fingers

An executive I know hired a young woman for his marketing department and put her to work managing some current campaigns. Then he found out 18 months later that she was a bona fide expert about marketing on social media. I mean, she practically lived on social media. She could have brought so much to her new employer from day one – yet that value went completely untapped for a year and a half.

Call that knowledge loss, call it money wasted, or call it something worse. Whatever you call it, it’s bad. How did it happen? I don’t work for that company, so I’m not sure. But it was probably because the top executives there were all baby boomers. It probably never occurred to them that a new millennial worker had ideas they needed to hear.

Is it happening in your company? Here are some steps to take to be sure you’re discovering and tapping the unique insights and skills your younger workers possess.

Strategy One: Uncover Hidden Skills during the Recruiting Process

It’s a mistake to screen job applicants by only saying, “Here’s what you’ll have to do on the job . . . can you cut it?” Ask open-ended questions instead, like, “We’re recruiting a team to market our new app – what do you think we need to do?” Or, “We are currently using the XYZ platform to track ad usage by in our franchise locations – do you know of anything better?”

To use a Zen kind of paradigm, be the student, not the teacher. The things you learn could be very valuable indeed.

Strategy Two: Invite Comments and Ideas during New Employee Training

Training is an ideal time to ask new hires important questions like, “How strong do you think our brand is” or, “Do our competitors do something better than we do?” If you ask questions like those, you let new employees know that you are a company that values honest and open input. And training is the place to do it. After an employee begins working for you, he or she may want to communicate big ideas only to a supervisor, where they can die. Or worse, he or she might never voice those big ideas at all.

Strategy Three: Have Big Delayered Meetings Where Everyone Presents Big Ideas

Get employees from all level into one room and ask them for the biggest and craziest ideas they have for improving your business. To avoid stifling the flow, just collect the ideas on a whiteboard or on sticky notes and go back to discuss them later. Those brainstorming meetings helps assure that good ideas from the ranks are heard directly by upper management, not left sitting on the desks of managers throughout your company.

Strategy Four: Get Some Reverse Mentoring Going

Reverse mentoring has become popular in many organizations. The idea usually to have an older executive mentored about technology by a younger, tech-savvy employee. I would recommend widening that lens and having millennials and other young workers keep your senior executive team up to speed on marketplace trends, products that have entered the marketplace, news about “hot” competing companies, and more. The wider you can cast your net for ideas from young employees, the more you benefit.

Strategy Five: Reward the Big Ideas and Information that Millennials Contribute

If an employee delivers a valuable piece of information to you, offer recognition, feedback, or increased responsibilities. Treat it like gold. If you don’t, that bright young mind is likely to think, “Why should I tell my company anything . . . they ignored me the last time I did.” It’s up do you to offer the recognition that keeps information flowing.

In summary . . .

Millennials have ideas, information and skills that you need. Are you listening to them? If you aren’t, let’s face it, the fault lies with you. Open the doors, let the information in, and watch your company improve in ways you could never imagine.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

The Value of Vulnerability

The Value of Vulnerability

So often when the topic is leadership, qualities like gravitas, confidence and strength are extolled as desirable and even essential. But just as important are some qualities at the other end of the spectrum. Today I’m specifically referring to vulnerability.

We’re all aware of the importance – and sometimes difficulty – of being vulnerable in our personal relationships. Without it, love and intimacy are impossible. But a certain degree of vulnerability is equally as important for development of our professional relationships as well.

I worked with a client who was told by her supervisor that she needed to let people get to know her better; that as head of the department (for quite a while already), it would help overall team chemistry and trust. For someone who was working to overcome perfectionism and fear of making any sort of public mistake, this was daunting.

“How can I open up to them? I don’t know if I can trust them to see that side of me,” she said.

I replied, “My guess is that they probably feel the same about you. But here’s the thing: When you have two people who need to feel like they receive trust (or respect) before they’re willing to give it, there’s a stalemate. Eventually, someone has to ‘blink’ first, take the chance and give the other person the opportunity to demonstrate that they are trustworthy. That starts the cycle.”

But one way or another, the beauty is that you don’t have to trust them with your deepest darkest secrets or the key to the vault. Sometimes it’s just being able to laugh at yourself, or letting them know that you’re under the weather and could use their help that day.

Last week I got a frantic email from a client asking to have a strategy call the next morning before a high-stakes meeting that had just been organized. Understanding her situation and wanting to accommodate, I told her the truth: “Tomorrow morning the only slot that’s open is 9am, but in full transparency, I’m going to be in ‘mommy mode’ at that time, since I have to take my son” (who is 1 year old) “for a checkup at 10, so the nanny won’t arrive until 11. I can’t guarantee what mood he’ll be in or how long we can speak without interruption, but if you want to give it a try, I’m game.”

“I’ll take it,” she said.

So at 9am the call comes in – we coach via FaceTime, video included – and I answer, in a t-shirt with my hair pulled back, hoping she wouldn’t be daunted by my less-than-executive appearance. “I think we’re safe – he’s in his highchair and I’m feeding him breakfast, so he’s busy and happy for a while,” I told her.

My trust in letting my client see me this way was immediately rewarded.

“Oh, is he there? Can you turn the camera? I’d love to see him.”

I turned the camera so my client was face-to-face with the big blue eyes of my son, who stared back at her, mesmerized by the face on the screen. And then this high-powered CFO of a multi-billion-dollar company did the best thing possible: she launched straight into full-scale “peek-a-boo” mode.

My son burst into giggles immediately, and after a moment or two I turned the phone back to me. She had a huge smile on her face, and said, “That was the perfect antidote to the morning I’ve already had, thank you!”

From there we shifted gears and got down to business. We had each let down our guard with and I am confident that we both feel that the mutually shared vulnerability only served to strengthen our bond, both personally and professionally.

So once in a while, take a little chance: (metaphorically) play a bit of “peek-a-boo,” and let them see you.

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Do you have other questions or feedback about vulnerability and leadership? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

 

 

 

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Best Practices Growth Management Skills

Sunday Negotiation Insight – Always Check Your Emotions

www.TheMasterNegotiator.com

“Emotions determine who you are, what you’ll engage in, and how you’ll act in such engagements. Control your emotions and you’ll control the emotions that could cause you to lose control.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“Always Check Your Emotions”

What motivates you? Really, what causes you to do the things you do that lead to the different moods you find yourself in? The better you are at being aware of where an emotion leads you, the better you can be at controlling it.

It’s important to understand the source of your emotions and where such can lead because you can place yourself into different emotional states, once you become mindful of the different states of emotions that you experience. As an example, pause from reading this article. Look around you once in about 20 seconds. Do so 360 degrees and note what you see. Attempt to see something that you’ve not paid that close attention to if you’re in an environment that you’re familiar with.

What did you observe that you did not notice before? How did it make you feel? If you said you had no feelings, dig deeper. You thought and felt something. If your emotional state was so slight that it didn’t register on your emotional Richter scale, you need to become more aware of your emotions. Some have gone through this exercise several times a day. In so doing they became more aware of their emotional state and the stimuli that motivated them to adopt certain actions. A higher sense of awareness per what stimulates your emotional states in doing this exercise should be your goal.

It may not be possible to be aware of your emotional state 24 hours a day, but the better you are at sensing your mood swings or other states of emotion, the more aware you’ll become of how to shape any environment you’re in; the goal is to be able to maximize your actions in that environment.

You can only control something once you become aware of its existence. Thus, to the degree you can control your emotions, you’ll be able to control more aspects of your life … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a negotiation, you can experience and cause the opposing negotiator to have certain experiences based on the emotional state you’re in. If you control the emotional state, you can control the negotiation.

As you know, emotions change in the give and take that occurs in a negotiation. So, before entering into a negotiation, assess the emotions you might experience and what might motivate you to display them. Be on guard for those that might make you appear out of control. During the negotiation, be even more mindful of the emotions that can pull you off track and don’t let them do so. You’re in control of yourself and thus your emotions; control them!

 

 

 

 

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Energize Millennial Workers

Do you want to get much more from the millennial employees you hire . . . and do you hope that they will continue to work for you for the long, not the short, term? If those are your hopes, it is essential to bear in mind that millennial employees’ attitudes and beliefs about working differ dramatically from those held by baby boomers and members of other age groups.

Consider these findings from How Millennials Want to Work and Live, a recent study from Gallup:

    • Millennials value learning – 60% of them say that the opportunity to learn and grow on the job is extremely important. The study found that only 40% of baby boomers feel the same way.
    • Millennials view many jobs as stepping stones  21% of them have changed jobs within the last year. Only 50% plan to remain in their jobs for at least the next year, compared to 60% of members of all other groups.
    • Millennials expect to advance in their jobs 50% of them say advancement is extremely important, vs. 40% of boomers.

Learning and Training Retain Millennials and Maximize their Productivity

In the companies that I have led, I have seen the realities that underlie statistics like those. I have also seen first-hand that training is the key to reducing millennial turnover and increasing their productivity.

And here are some of the reasons why:

    • Millennials like to feel capable and confident in their jobs. When I was their age, I was happy to learn the skills I needed on the fly. Millennials do not feel that way. They want to look good and feel confident from the first day they arrive on the job. Training is what makes that happen.
    • Millennials welcome training. They like to apply the learning skills they built while they were in school. To them, learning feels as natural as eating three meals a day. As the Gallup study finds, they are eager to learn. In contrast, many baby boomers tend to view training as a burden that they have to endure.
    • Modern training technologies speaks to millennials. Most of them love to be trained on their mobile phones and tablets, which are the most powerful training options available to many companies today. The result is better knowledge transfer, even to groups of employees who work in multiple locations.
    • Millennials welcome mentoring relationships with their managers. The Gallup study found that 60% of millennials feel that the quality of the people who manage them is extremely important. Your training is an ideal place to set up expectations that millennials will enjoy close, collaborative relationships with their supervisors. With that in mind, your training for new employees can establish mentoring, not reporting, relationships.
    • Millennials love independence, but they love teams too. This is a contradiction, but millennials think of themselves as both rugged individuals and eager team players. So letting millennials get to know their teammates during training, and fostering a sense of team/group identity, helps convince them that they have joined an organization where they belong.
    • Millennials are career-oriented. Do they love to hop from job to job? Yes, they do. But only if they sense that their opportunities to advance are blocked. That is why I believe in creating a personalized career development plan for each new employee. (The exception being seasonal or other short-term employees who will probably not remain in your employ for long.) One example? Enroll new employees in management training programs from their first days on the job. Millennials like to know their next steps as they advance in your organization, and training is the best place to explain them.

In summary . . .

I firmly believe that millennials are the most energized, skilled and capable generation ever to enter the workforce. How do you unlock their potential and make sure they remain in your employ for the long term? You do it with great training.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Know When to STOP Talking

Know When to STOP Talking

Usually I work with people to find the best way for them to talk to their audience and get to “Yes.” Today I want to focus on the exact opposite skill set: knowing when and how to stop talking.

If you’re like me, at some point or other you’ve had the “out-of-body experience” where you catch yourself rambling on, and your brain starts screaming, “for heaven’s sake, just stop talking already!” But you’re on a roll and can’t seem to stop the momentum.

Part of the reason this happens is because Americans are notoriously uncomfortable with silence, which quickly slides becomes “awkward silence,” is something to be avoided. That’s why there’s often a compulsion to fill silence at all costs.

In most of these occurrences, self-doubt is a major factor. Even if you were confident up to that point, something triggers a sudden insecurity, which you telegraph through your rambling.

With that in mind, let’s look at three contexts in which this situation is likely to emerge, why, and how to get yourself back under control.

Waiting for a response

The most common scenario is when you’ve asked a question or made a comment, and the other person doesn’t respond right away. You subconsciously fear that they didn’t understand what you’ve said, or didn’t like it and don’t want to answer it. So you rephrase, or qualify, or suggest possible answers to your own question, until someone finally jumps in.

In reality, sometimes people just need a moment to digest what you’ve said, especially if it is technical or an important decision. Be generous in allowing them time to think, uninterrupted, before they respond.

Over-explaining

The second context is when you think you need to keep explaining something. Maybe your topic is complicated and you are speaking to non-experts or you might be speaking to people who are experts, which can be intimidating, so you feel compelled to share more to demonstrate your expertise. Or you might interpret their silence as disapproval, at which point you keep talking in attempt to qualify or justify your argument and persuade them to agree with you.

Ironically, however, in these situations, the more you ramble, the more it will likely dissuade your audience because you sound nervous rather than confident. In these cases, make your point, then just hold your ground – and your tongue. This indicates that you’re okay with waiting for them to break the silence. If necessary, you can always ask them if they are confused by something, or would like clarification. Knowing when to stop demonstrates confidence.

Scrambling for answers

Finally, rambling often occurs when you need to answer a question or offer a response, and don’t feel like you have time to think it through before you are expected to speak. The pressure is on, and the silence seems interminable as all eyes are on you. But rather than thinking aloud you as you try to figure out what you really want to say, try starting with something like, “That’s a great question; let me think about the best way to answer it concisely.” Who would deny that request, especially if the alternative is a rambling mess?

Here’s a final tip: Write a note to remind yourself to avoid these pitfalls, and look at it before you go into the next high stakes meeting. If you wait until you catch yourself rambling, it’s too late. Priming yourself with these reminders before you start is one of the best ways to project persuasive confidence and leadership.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

 

 

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Why Bullying and Employee Engagement Don’t Mix

Bullying and Employee Engagement

Bullying and employee engagement don’t mix.  Bullying is one person intimidating or threatening another in a disrespectful, dominating, or cruel manner.   Bullies tend to put performance results ahead of all other considerations including respect and trust.  Bullies think about themselves and not about others.  Aggressiveness is action without regard to others.  It’s an “I win and you lose” strategy.   Assertiveness is action with a “win-win” strategy.  Employee engagement can only grow in a culture that discourages and prevents bullying while encouraging collaboration, respect, and effective relationships with win-win communications.

According to The Workplace Bullying Institute, 27% of American workers have suffered abusive conduct at work; another 21% witnessed bullying; and 72% are aware that workplace bullying happens.  It also tells us that less than 20% of employers act to stop bullying. (Gary Namie, 2014)

Bullying is a symptom.   Causes of bullying are a complex set of factors.  The first set of factors relate to the psychological needs and flaws of the bully.  According to author Susan Coloraso bullies tend to have specific attitudes and behaviors including blaming others for situations.  They lack the willingness to take responsibility for their actions or their miserable situations.  They lack emotional intelligence traits such as the ability to sincerely understand how others might feel and the ability to express empathy.  They tend to be narcissistic focusing all their concern about themselves and not about others.

Bullies also believe competition is an important strategy for success.  They have difficulty with collaboration because they feel superior and others are seen in an inferior position.  For them, aggression is the way to success.

Women and men can both be bullies, although men have a higher tendency toward physical abuse and women use more psychological abuse such as passive aggressive manipulations.

The second set of factors causing bullying is the lack of an effective response from the workplace system.  Dr. W. Edwards Deming said 94% of all results come from the system.  Bullies are mostly allowed to continue without feedback and/or consequences for their poor behaviors.  Although the root causes of bullying stems from the experiences, and probably the parenting, of the bully, it’s the responses (or lack of) of the system that keeps the behaviors alive.

Organizations that are unprepared and/or unwilling to create consequences for bullying behaviors will be victimized. Unfortunately some leaders give “lip service” to a set of organizational values that discourage bullying behaviors.  Instead of confronting the poor behaviors immediately and consistently, leaders can instead ignore (or downplay) the behaviors and place more value on the results bullies are able to achieve.  The results outweigh the desired motivation and willingness of the leaders to have a confrontation.

We teach what we allow.  Bullies learn their behaviors.  They are not born as bullies.  They were probably allowed by their parents, or even encouraged with subtle messages, to continue their tactics. The only way to change is to stop the subtle messages and confront the poor behaviors directly and respectfully with consequences important to the bully.

Besides respectful confrontation organizations should also evaluate the hiring process to ensure bullies are not allowed to slip through the “hiring cracks.”

A system of effective Fearless Feedback will go a long way toward reducing the probability of bullying.  This must start with the senior leadership. Senior leaders must make it clear that results with bullying are unacceptable even if the results are financially profitable.  Leaders must take a stand.  Financial results achieved with bullying tactics must be evaluated in the context of the cost to employee engagement.  The costs associated with low employee engagement levels are much more difficult (if not impossible) to measure than financial results.  The bullying will either stop or be significantly reduced if the system is set up to provide respectful and immediate feedback to bullies and if they are given the choice to either change their behaviors or move on.

Bullying and employee engagement don’t mix.  Senior leaders must decide if results from employee engagement are more valuable than short-term results with bullying.  If senior leaders pay lip service to respect and win-win solutions but then avoid respectful consequences for bullying, things won’t change and employee engagement will suffer.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Fearless Feedback

 

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

Do You Hold Yourself Back From Success?

Do you hold yourself back from success?

“Whenever I’m in a meeting and I think of a question or comment, I end up debating with myself about whether or not to say it… then a few minutes later someone else says what I’m thinking, and it leads to a great discussion. I could kick myself when that happens!”

This is a challenge described by many of my clients, both men and women alike, and it stems from a lack of confidence on a variety of levels. But regardless of the origin, the outcome is the same: you hold yourself back from being recognized for your insights, expertise and overall value to the team.

So what causes this behavior, and what can you do about it?

The late, great sales guru, Zig Ziglar, had a powerful expression that has stuck with me from the first time I heard it many years ago. He said that you have to ask yourself, “Is your fear of failure greater than your desire to succeed?”

The short answer is that, for people who typically hold back as described above, their default answer, often subconsciously, is a resounding “YES.” That’s why they hold back.

What is most powerful to me is the thought process you inevitably go through if you actually ask yourself that question when you find yourself holding back That’s because it actually leads to three deeper and more concrete questions that will help you regain confidence and hopefully compel you to take action:

The first is, how would you define “failure” in that situation, and what’s the worst thing that could happen if you did “fail”? Maybe it means you could make a mistake, share wrong information or demonstrate ignorance. And what would be the repercussions of one of those situations? I highly doubt that you could lose your job, take a major hit to your reputation, or die of embarrassment. The worst that would happen is that you might get corrected in public. You’ve heard others make contributions that were not received with open arms; what happened to them? Most likely, nothing

The second key question is, how would you define “success” in that context? Success could be simply a matter of knowing you made a valuable contribution to the discussion. Maybe your idea provides a critical piece that will help the group to problem-solve more efficiently. One way or another, you will show yourself to be a valuable, proactive member of a team, and it might put you on someone’s radar, for all the right reasons.

A third question that gets overlooked is, “What is the effect of silence on my part?” Remember, holding back judiciously from time to time is probably appreciated by most people. But when your reputation in those meetings becomes one of someone who is non-participatory, playing it “safe” and hiding in self-defense mode unless forced to speak, does that really project leadership?

And just in case you were thinking about playing the “introvert” card, stop right there. That excuse won’t work. Introversion is not about fear of public speaking, confidence or general shyness. It’s about how you get energized, and what takes energy from you. Don’t mistake being an introvert with being hesitant to ask a question or offer a comment in a team meeting.

So the next time you recognize that you are holding back, do two things: First, decide what you want your leadership reputation to be. Then ask yourself: “Is my fear of failure greater than my desire to succeed?”

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!