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Perception – Does Being Right or Wrong Matter?

“Constantly test your beliefs. They serve as the foundation from which you view the world, those in it, and how others in turn view you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Too many times, people get hung-up on who’s right and who’s wrong. In reality that’s not what they’re really interested in. They’re more concerned with getting others to follow their lead. Being cognizant of that should allow you to focus more on the outcome you seek in a situation and less on how being perceived as right or wrong will make you feel. If you do identify your feelings as the source that motivates you to adopt one action over another, examine your thoughts to assess why that’s so; it could mean that you’re less interested in the outcome versus the way you feel about the outcome. If that turns out to be the case, you have a completely different ‘kettle of fish’ to deal with, one that’s in addition to the perception of right or wrong.

Once you can boil right or wrong down to its most simplistic form and still get others to follow you, right or wrong becomes immaterial. Recognize that you really don’t want to be viewed as being right or wrong, what you’re really after is to have others agree with your beliefs.

Going forward, when you’re engaged in dialog with others ask yourself, “Am I placing too much emphasis on being right or wrong?” Understand the source of motivation behind your actions to convince others that you’re right. That will be the real key to the impact you have on them … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Every negotiator enters into a negotiation believing that her point of view should be accepted by the other negotiator; from her perspective, her point of view is right. If too much emphasis is placed on being right, she may overlook other opportunities to sway her counterpart to the real objective of the negotiation, which is to receive a favorable outcome for her.

Before you can shape someone’s perception, first you have to shape your own. You should have a firm understanding of how you arrived at your perspectives, the value they contain as viewed by others, to what degree they may contain unsubstantiated biases, and how you’ll position them to be viewed as most advantageous by the other negotiator. Once you’ve gathered those aspects, you’ll realize that it’s perception that matters, not who’s right or wrong. That will add a new dimension to your negotiation efforts.

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology #Truth #Perception

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Why Everyone Should Speak Like a Leader

In Machiavelli’s classic, The Prince, he weighs the relative importance of being loved or being feared as the best motivator of one’s “subjects.” In today’s workplace, those are not typically viewed as the default “either-or” choice regarding the most important qualities in a leader, but research shows that there are other, less intuitive factors that have been shown to inspire trust in leadership and cultivate a willingness to follow.

A recent study indicated that at the heart of all relationships, both professional and personal, are two factors: whether you are “competent,” and whether you are “warm”. “Warmth” is important because it implies a lack of intentional threat. And “competence” balances warmth because it indicates that you won’t accidentally cause someone harm either. The combination of both allows people to trust in someone’s potential as a leader. To me, it poses an interestingly defense-oriented approach to the perception of leadership.

But it’s more than whether or not you are warm and competent: the other half of the equation is whether other people believe that you have both of these qualities. If this is true, it begs the question of how these broad definitions of warmth and competence are recognized. This is where the ability to speak like a leader comes in becomes of critical importance.

What does warmth sound like? What about competence? We tend to think of warmth in terms of feelings and behaviors, and competence in terms of skills, but based on the above explanation of what warmth and competence represent, the way you communicate your intentions and executions will drastically influence your credibility on both fronts.

Let’s look at a few influential factors, to ensure that your communication style allows your warmth and competence to shine through.

Word choice

Of course your message needs to be factually accurate and true, but it goes beyond that. When you explain something, do you give more jargon-laden detail than the listener wants, needs or can understand? Does it seem like you are avoiding answering certain questions or omitting other details? These habits can undermine the perception of warmth because it seems like you don’t really understand or trust me, and if you don’t trust me, why would I trust you?

Alternatively, if you use lots of fillers like um, you know, I mean, or sort of, it seems like you lack confidence in what you’re saying, which erodes the perception of competence.

Using relatable anecdotes and clear organization, on the other hand, make it much easier for the listener to understand your meaning. This transparency allows them to see you as a more trustworthy leader.

Articulation

Once you know what you want to say, the way the words roll – or stumble – off the tongue, will either help propel the listener along with you, or make them hit the brakes. Do you speak at a volume that is easy for everyone to hear, and at a speed that is easy to follow? Does your inflection highlight important words, indicating your personal interest in the topic and adding vocal interest for the listener? If so, all of these practices will reinforce your image of warmth and competence because it shows you are considering and prioritizing the needs of the audience. Mumbling, rushing, and monotonous, run-on sentences will all have the opposite effect.

Facial expressions

Tying it all up, your physical communication is, ironically, the strongest of the three communication modes when it comes to your appearance of credibility. No matter how much expertise you demonstrate in your content, and how strong or clear your voice is, facial expressions such as occasional eye-rolling, unintentional frowning when concentrating, eye contact (or lack thereof), or chewing on your lip can signal your deeper, underlying negative feelings about what you are saying, from arrogance and contempt to insecurity. Remember to smile when appropriate, make eye contact with everyone without staring them down, and keep a neutral listening face in order to reassure the audience of the sincerity of your intentions.

Regardless of the seniority of your position, bearing these points in mind will help you reinforce the impression of being both warm and competent, and come across as a natural leader.

********

Do you have other questions or feedback about effective leadership communication? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally!

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Accounting Body Language Economics Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Negotiations News and Politics Skills Taxes Women In Business

How to Overcome Lost Trust When Negotiating

“One way to overcome the loss of trust when negotiating is not to lose it in the first place.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Trust is the hidden variable when negotiating that possesses silent power in the negotiation. Once trust is lost, a negotiation takes on a persona from which it may never recover. Thus, depending on the severity of lost trust, it may be the death knell of the negotiation.

There are multiple factors that play a role in regaining trust when it’s lost. The implementation of those factors are directly tied to how you wish to proceed from the point of disruption, the outcome you seek from the negotiation, time factors related to future events, and any mitigating circumstances that may cause you to engage/disengage in/from the negotiation.

This article will give you insights as to how you can overcome the loss of trust when you negotiate and turn your efforts into winning actions.

Point of Disruption:

Be observant as to how trust is being evaluated during the negotiation. Such signs will be conveyed through the possible reluctance to believe, follow, or acquiesce to a request and/or concession. Once you sense such hesitancy, address it right then. Don’t let a possible festering thought about trust linger. If you do, you may be setting up the rest of the negotiation to be addressed from a deeper entrenched position on both sides.

Outcome Sought:

Be crystal clear about the outcomes sought by you and the other negotiator. To the degree you have commitments, shine a bright metaphoric light on those agreements and make those commitments known to stakeholders with lots of fanfare. As an aside, be mindful of whom you show the commitments so that they don’t tear them down. In a best-case scenario, you tie/lock the other negotiator to the commitments he states he’ll abide by. Also, limit finger pointing, gloating, and be aware of your verbiage when highlighting agreed on commitments. The wrong word(s), gloating, and/or finger pointing can easily lead to the unraveling of a commitment. To ensure that commitments will be adhered to, discuss with the other negotiator how they will be conveyed when presented to the outside world.

Time Factors and Future Events:

You should always consider the time factor and how today’s negotiation will impact future events. To that end, to restore lost trust:

  1. Sign-off on agreements at specific points in the negotiation and wait to see if deliverables are made
  2. Know hidden power players and their possible reaction(s) about the direction of the negotiation
  3. Have contingency plans in place to persuade power players to positions that are advantageous to you

Mitigating Circumstances:

There are mitigating circumstances that can encompass any negotiation. Such can be caused by the misperception of a word, a misperceived gesture, or just a dislike amongst the negotiators. If you’re aware of any mitigating circumstances that may cause the negotiation to be headed to the negotiation graveyard, consider changing negotiators. New negotiators can see the negotiation through new eyes.

A loss of trust can be a silent death knell in a negotiation but that doesn’t have to be so. The best way to offset its occurrence is to be as forthright as possible as you engage in a negotiation. Of course, that forth righteousness is a two-way street that the other negotiator must also be willing to traverse. Use the suggestions above to offer him the opportunity to do so … and everything will be right with the world.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Trust  #psychology

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Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

What I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Bought My First Smartphone

Have you ever been so excited about buying something new that you fail to stop long enough to consider how it might impact you in the long run? Let’s face it; rarely do we ever consider the long-term consequences of our purchases and impulsive needs, especially when it comes to technology.

I can still remember my first smartphone purchase – the answer to my productivity needs. The ability to map my destinations, create travel itineraries on a whim, respond to emails in a more timely fashion, take photos and more. I’ve never been one that is a cutting-edge ‘early adopter’ where technology is concerned, but the smartphone was truly that – smart. It was the answer to my overwhelmed, overly committed life.

Never one time did I stop to consider the long term impacts the smartphone would have on my life, let alone on society. Have you ever stopped to contemplate how your life has changed since introducing this device into it? If you knew then what you know now, would you still have made that very first purchase? Or perhaps, would you have introduced it to your life differently?

The following aspects are those I wish I would have – could have – considered before that first smartphone purchase:

Dinner Disruptions:

I wish I would have known that I would rarely see families and friends engaged in a conversation around the dinner table without the distraction of a device. I can’t even recall the last time I sat in a restaurant and witnessed everyone engaged in a non-device disrupting conversation and meal. Far too often I see adults tuned out reading online while kids mindlessly play games and avoid interaction. I watch as young couples engage more on social media than with each other. I wait as servers and staff turn their attention to patrons in need of photos, causing other patrons to sit in wait.

Traveling Challenges:

I wish I would have known that every airport would become a land mine of adults sitting on floors and against walls, hovering near any available power outlet or charging station, handcuffed to their device in a desperate hope it will charge before boarding the flight. Before smartphones, I can’t recall a time it was commonplace to see grown adults holding a small device as if it were their very life support.

Distracted Driving:

I wish I would have known the rate people would crash, or even die, due to distracted drivers. Let’s face it, there are few things more annoying, distracting and dangerous than a smartphone alert going off when you’re behind the wheel of a car. No matter where you keep the phone – your purse, console, glove box or back seat – there is something about the sound of an alert that pulls your focus from the road. Never would I have imagined how many people I would share the road with that would be texting while driving, reading the news, posting online or even live streaming their thoughts in transit. Even when thought I have disciplined myself not to look at the phone while driving, the very thought of what awaits for me competes for my attention more than I would have ever imagined.

Home Life Hindrances:

I wish I would have known how much I would ask my friends and family to pause their thoughts as I answered a self-inflicted obligation to respond to emails after hours. I can remember when I first linked my email to my smartphone and thought how amazing it was to respond to emails after the work day was over. I considered this a productivity win as my response times were cut in half. I had faith that others recognized my diligence and would be appreciative of my timely response. What I didn’t realize is that in time, my enthusiasm for answering after hour emails would turn into a habit and that habit would turn into obligation. Little by little, I had trained those in my circle to expect an immediate response from me. Before I knew it, my 9 to 5 turned into a 24×7 workday. My loved ones became the ones in wait as I took time and attention from them to respond to messages that could have easily waited until morning.

Need for Instant Information:  

I wish I would have known my need for instant information would become a crutch. I’m not sure if you’re like me, and have lost track of the number of times you’ve stopped mid conversation to research facts and figures to prove a point. While having information at our fingertips is amazing, it can also hinder our ability to be free thinkers and engage in healthy debates and judgement without the need to immediately prove who is right.

Social Media Influence:

I wish I would have known how toxic social media would become. If only I could have seen the day I would wish for photos of a friend’s meal to be the topic of social media fodder. Instead, the smartphone has allowed all of us to think, and post, without self-censorship. We’ve entered into a world where what we feel is immediately available for others to read. I would have never guessed the draining effect it would have on my in my daily life, feelings and productivity. Not only has the smartphone increased my accessibility to read social media, it’s made it addictive to the point that a concerted effort has to be made just to tune it out or avoid it all together.

Productivity Nemesis:

I wish I would have known that the very tool I was purchasing to help me become more productive would be the very thing that would challenge my ability to do so. With constant alerts, messages and updates, it’s hard to remain focused on anything of importance. Trying to focus on a task becomes challenging when I know someone has messaged me and is awaiting an immediate response. Now, I have to make a conscious effort to download apps and schedule times of days they work to keep alerts and messages at bay. Never the less, the impulsive need to check my screen for notifications is often more than I can bear. Despite my need for focused thinking, I find my attention challenged in ways I would have never previously imagined.

Talking to Foreheads:

I wish I would have known that the introduction of the smartphone meant learning to carry on conversations with people’s foreheads. If only I had the ability to grab someone by their face and say what my 5 year old friend, Donovan, taught me – “Listen with your eyes.” Put the phone down and pay attention to what is right in front of you, not what can wait. If only I would have known how preconditioned I would become – we would become – to accepting interruptions and someone’s half attention as the norm.

Is there anything you wish you would have known before buying your first smartphone? While technology has helped us in many ways, it challenges our focus and competes for our attention for what is truly important. While I don’t regret having this amazing technology, hind sight is always 20/20. Now that we know the challenges, can we change our habits, or are we doomed to distraction?

I believe attention is our new currency. Attention to what matters most is where we will profit, boost productivity and increase accountability. Paying attention to what is important is a skill we must learn – if not relearn – to help us achieve balance in our lives with technology.

What are your thoughts? I would love to read them. Are you committed to changing your habits and learning how to use the smartphone as a tool and break the dependency you’ve created? If so, subscribe to my ezine to learn tips, techniques and strategies to help you pay attention to what matters most.

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When You Should – And Should NOT – Memorize a Speech

I coach people on how to be persuasive and compelling in a variety of contexts, one of which is in preparation for giving a formal speech or presentation. This fall I’ve coached three TED talks, helped CFOs prepare for board meetings, directed dozens of entrepreneurs through their investor pitches, and prepared executives to deliver webinars to their global teams. But in all of these scenarios, one question always comes up: “Should I memorize the script?”

The simple answer is: it depends.

Disclaimer: I am a linguist, not an actor, so it never feels natural to recite scripted lines, even if I can deliver them naturally. However, there is a time and a place for it. Let’s look at how to make this decision, and then you can decide how to approach your next presentation.

Time Limits

There are time limits to most engagements, and the shorter your window, the more memorization can help ensure that you hit your key points before you run out of time.

When you have an extremely tight window, e.g. a two-minute elevator pitch, you can’t afford to fumble around searching for the right words. Even if you don’t memorize your whole spiel, if you plan to share an anecdote or explain a process, those can be good segments to rehearse and hone so you can recite them verbatim when the time comes.

Managing Audience Interaction

On the other hand, if you know that the audience can interrupt at any time with questions and comments, you’ll get completely derailed if you are relying exclusively on memorized lines. Once you can resume, there’s a good chance you’ve either forgotten where you left off or you remember, but it no longer flows naturally from the conversation.

Plus, if you have to respond extemporaneously to the comment, your speech style will probably sound different than during your memorized portion. This is a dead giveaway that you’re speaking from a script rather than from the heart.

Again, as I mentioned above, it can be useful to memorize certain excerpts, but be able to stray from the script as needed or desirable in the moment.

Visual Aids

Notice that this resource is called “visual aids,” not “visual crutches.” A well-designed slide serves three basic purposes: It adds visual interest, makes the content easier for the audience to process, and serves as a prompt to remind the speaker what to discuss next.

The worst slides are the ones that are shortened versions of the speaker’s script, which the speaker then reads aloud off the screen in front of everyone. I have just one suggestion here: DON’T.

If you can read a lot of your script off your slide, so can your audience, at which point they don’t need you anymore. Keep the slides simple and textually sparse; put the full sentences and paragraphs in your talking points instead. The audience should be able to glance at a slide for a brief moment, understand the main point, and then turn their attention back to you as the source of more information.

Overall, scripts are not inherently evil; as I’ve explained above, they can be a great tool, and sometimes they’re even required. I have clients whose legal department needs to vet the language of any presentation intended for shareholders. (Note: If you ever want help writing engaging dialogue, do NOT ask the legal department!) But there are definitely some that are well written and effective, and those that are not.

Whether or not you script out your whole talk, speech or presentation, the goal is to ensure that it enables you to projects your true authority, confidence and leadership.

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Do you struggle with public speaking or know someone who does? Contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to set up a 20-minute focus call to discuss it with me personally.

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Don’t Play With Your Emotions

“Exerting greater control over your emotions will allow you to exercise greater control of your life.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

 When you engage in life, don’t play with your emotions. Anytime you’re unsure of which path you should take, don’t play with your emotions. That doesn’t mean that you should consider options devoid of your emotions, it means, attempt to think of your options without the emotional attachment that might saddle itself to those options.

By eliminating the emotional aspect that might go into your decision-making process, you allow your thought process to be driven by logic. After you’ve assessed a situation from a purely logical perspective, you can test your sense of direction by considering the emotions that might be the co-pilot of your decision.

Sometimes people allow their emotions to lead their actions. They toss logic aside. Allowing your actions to be driven by emotions alone can lead you into dangerous situations; “I don’t know why I did it; I must have been temporarily insane.” Those may be the afterthoughts you have if you don’t control your emotions before delving into a situation.

To maintain greater control of your life and those that surround you, always seek to control your emotions. Don’t play with them! Once you learn to have greater control of your emotions, you’ll have greater control of the environments you engage in. You’ll also find that your emotions serve you better. So, always seek to keep your emotions in check … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In every negotiation (you’re always negotiating), emotions dictate how you’ll engage in the negotiation. Thus, your emotions will drive your actions if you don’t curb them. It may not be very easy to control your emotions at times when negotiating, but if the opposing negotiator senses that he can control you by controlling your emotions, he’ll play you like a drum. You’ll dance to any tune he decides to play.

Before entering into a negotiation, know the hot points that may cause you to lose control of your emotions; your hot points are also called triggers. Being aware of the triggers that may provoke different emotional reactions in you, allows you to prepare the demeanor you wish to display, versus one that would hijack your real-time display of emotions. Such displays can cause you to lose control of the negotiation. By not displaying a demeanor the other negotiator expected, you’ll initiate doubt within him about the strategy he’s employing in invoking such triggers to maneuver you.

Suffice it to say, controlling your emotions allows you to have greater control of yourself and the other negotiator, and everyone knows, he who controls the negotiation has a greater chance of controlling the outcome of the negotiation.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #Psychology

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Personal Development Women In Business

Ignore the Trolls – Pay Attention to Opinions That Really Matter

Trolling – A fishing term for trailing bait and hoping for a bite. In today’s world? The idea of trolls frequently conjures up ugly and distasteful online comments, often left by anonymous sources. These sources are looking for a bite as well, and an opportunity to engage.

When I think of the word troll? I think of the big ugly monster covered in warts and grumpy that sits under the bridge.  Or in modern society – a mean bully behind a computer screen, eager to inflame, incite, and get under someone’s skin. So, what can you do about the modern-day troll? I’ve got six strategies to share:

  1. Don’t feed them. This is my favorite way to handle their nonsense. Don’t give them the attention they crave. Trolling is really only sport for people when they get the bite they are looking for. Without it? The troll becomes bored and goes away.
  2. Set policy and safeguards. If you have an organization that has an online presence and an opportunity for trolls to stumble across your “bridge” and bait your team, set a standard policy in place for how to handle it and let every team member understand that policy. Your blog and online forums can also be locked so that comments need approval before going “live”. Or shut down commentary altogether on your site. A Psychology Today article on the topic shared, “Reuters, Popular Science, ESPN, Huffington Post, The Week, USA Today, The Chicago Sun-Times, and National Public Radio have eliminated reader commentary in the past few years, in favor of moving commentaries to platforms like Facebook and Twitter where users are less anonymous and more accountable for their words.
  3. Use your principles as a guide. A self-proclaimed “former troll”, Paul Jun, shared this in an enlightened post, “The reason why abiding to principles is so helpful is because they tell us how to act. ‘Do this, not this.’ It focuses on the long-term outcome, whereas acting on our impulses creates many possible—and unfavorable—results. If there is one thing I learned both in psychology and philosophy, it’s this: No one can hurt you. It is what we tell ourselves about the specific event or person that creates the feeling. In the words of Marcus Aurelius, ‘It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise trolls cannot harm you — inside or out.’
  4. Create a community. When you’ve got a great name and reputation going for yourself and your business, and you’ve got the support of the community members around you – they’ll help take care of the problem. It’s wonderful to see those stories that come out where communities rise up in defense of someone who has taken an online hit.
  5. Laugh. Consider the source and keep your sense of humor. The bottom line is that bullies are often attention seekers who have too much time on their hands and too much ill will in their lives. As long as you have systems in place to protect your reputation and shut down unprovoked and unkind commentary and you know that your integrity and character are above reproach? Just laugh it off and walk away. Take the high road and leave them to their low one.
  6. Make corrections. Sometimes, commentary is based in a legitimate complaint or issue. If that’s the case, take the advice of renowned author, speaker and TV personality Jeffrey Hayzlett, who said in an interview for Forbes, “Let the person who wrote the complaint know you have corrected an error and explain what you did. Most times you’ll never hear from the person again, but I can guarantee the individual will appreciate that he heard directly from a company representative and didn’t have to navigate an endless phone tree.” Everyone makes mistakes. Every company can find areas of improvement. If someone points something out, and it’s a concern – fix it, and move on.

In a world that sometimes hosts trolls and bullies of both the cyber variety and in real life (that’s IRL in troll-speak), it’s good to pay attention to what matters. Your word. Your reality. Your integrity. Your character. What someone says to bait a person for bullying purposes is almost always not based in reality. Protect your reputation – but let those words roll off. In the end, they are not worth your valuable ATTENTION.

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The Value of Paying Attention

ATTENTION is defined as the act of applying the mind to something.

Every day it seems more difficult to do.  With work, family, the world and multiple electronic devices feeding us information at the same time, it’s a wonder we get anything done well.  The value of paying attention though shows up in increased productivity, safer working conditions and higher profitability.  The simple act of paying attention creates higher quality work, whether in services or products. Having fewer failures, errors, quality defects, and accidents leads to an increase in the bottom line and the overall morale of a workplace environment. On an interpersonal level, truly paying attention to a colleague creates a bond that transcends every interaction you have together. In a world where we see millions of bits of information every day, paying attention has become a skill that needs to be reintroduced and retooled.

How can you do this?  Simply take the time to pay more attention to what is going on around you. Deliberately make a choice to create space in your day to notice a colleague doing something well. Acknowledge what you observe directly to them and explain exactly what they did. Instead of a nondescript “Good job”, be specific: “You handled the interaction with Mr. Smith well.” Timely and personal attention is appreciated deeply.

How many times a day do you stop to notice what those around you are doing? How often do you express an encouraging word?

“The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention.”

—Cheri Huber

Excerpt from Blueprint for Employee Engagement – 37 Essential Elements to Influence, Innovate & Inspire.

Julie Ann Sullivan has the cure for retaining good talent and increasing productivity. Want a free copy of her book, Talk to Julie Ann @724-942-0486.  Julie Ann hosts the Mere Mortals Unite and Businesses that Care podcasts on C-Suite Radio .  For more information go to http://julieannsullivan.com/

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How to Use Reverse Questioning to Win More Negotiations

“The degree of success you experience in life and in negotiations is based to a degree on asking the right questions successfully.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

You no doubt know what reverse engineering is, right? Reverse questioning in a negotiation is the process of identifying the questions you need to ask in order to obtain the answers that will lead to a successful negotiation outcome. It’s also a way to identify how you’ll control the flow of the negotiation.

As a quick example, if you wanted to exit a negotiation paying $1,000 for a product you’d work from the outcome sought back to the beginning of the negotiation; you might also consider working back from that point to how you would position yourself prior to entering into the negotiation. To perform the latter, you’d assess the requirements needed (i.e. how you’d position yourself) to have your persona projected in a certain light/manner.

The following is what the step-by-step process would look like.

  1. Identify the most and least favorable outcome you’ll seek from the negotiation, along with why you’ve identified those points of juxtaposition. As a benefit, having that insight will help you identify exit points from the negotiation.
  2. Assemble a list of questions that might be asked of you as you would go through the negotiation.
  3. Create answers to the questions posed in step 2 that are needed to drive your efforts towards a winning negotiation outcome, while formulating questions you’ll ask to keep the negotiation on track; these will be your defensive questions. Identify points where you can answer a question with a question; remember, the person asking the questions is the person controlling the negotiation. That’s due to the fact, that person is gaining more information.
  4. Once you create and address step 3, create a list of questions that you might ask of the other negotiator that’s separate from the ones you might use to respond to his questions; these will become your offensive questions. Offensive questions are questions that move your negotiation efforts quicker towards the end of the negotiation; they are questions that the other negotiator has to agree with because they’re based on what he’s previously stated as his beliefs or truths; you’ll be weaponizing his thoughts and questions against him. Some of these questions will also come in the form of questions that answer questions.
  5. Assess how the opposing negotiator might respond to your scenario.
  6. Continue going over steps 1 through 5, in an attempt to uncover additional questions that you’d not considered that need to be included in the process.
  7. Once you feel you’ve honed the questions to a point that the other negotiator has to follow a prescribed path that you’ve created for the negotiation, test your hypothesis in a mock negotiation. This will allow your questioning process to become more refined and may uncover better/additional questions.
  8. Once you feel totally prepared to utilize your questions in a negotiation, do so. Engage with the confidence in knowing that you’ve created a stealthy way of capturing better information as you go throughout the negotiation.
  9. Save your questions in a repository to be used for comparison to past and future negotiation situations.

 

The wrong question asked at the right time in a negotiation may do incalculable harm. The wrong question asked at the wrong time in a negotiation may lead to a negotiation impasse. Create and test your questions before entering into a negotiation and you’ll have more of a chance to reach a successful negotiation outcome … and everything will be right with the world.

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Bully #Question

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Don’t Hurt the Leader’s Position

“A leader is someone that possesses the ability to successfully lead others from the front or the rear. Always know the position of your leader.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

When someone is serving as the leader of your team and you’ve agreed to give them your support, follow their lead; don’t hurt them or your team by engaging in intended or unintended subterfuge.

In the daily activities of everyone’s life, everyone follows someone. Thus, those that you follow have influence by the fact that you anoint them as someone to lead you. You embolden them with that privilege by the fact that you follow their edict/mandate/suggestions. That being the case, don’t undermine the leader by:

  1. Going off-point per a strategy that has been discussed and agreed upon (e.g. going around the leader to gain attention for yourself, etc.)

 

  1. Engaging with outside sources that have not been agreed upon – make sure the leader knows what you’re planning to do

 

  1. Creating ad-hoc strategies when you’re in the midst of interactions with those that are not on your team/group

When you subvert the direction of the lead that you’ve granted to someone, you forgo potential opportunities, and diminish your team’s ability to implement the plan that’s been agreed upon; that can be costly in time and opportunities. You may also be cloaking into darkness the light of opportunities that may have shown themselves to you in the future (i.e. if you prove not to be a team player, no one will want you on their team.)

If you’re going to be a team player, play follow the leader by supporting the person that you’ve chosen to follow. Do so to the degree that such returns are beneficial to you and the team. Once you decide that you no longer wish to engage, inform the leader of your intent and disengage. Don’t just drop out without any communication. If you restrict the flow of communications, you don’t know what potential door(s) you’ll close that might have offered opportunities that could lead you to higher heights.

As long as you’ve decided to follow the leader, don’t hurt her. You’ve made a conscious decision to allow her to lead. So, follow her lead as long as it serves you and her … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In a team negotiation environment, the leader of the team can position and pose as any of its members; it doesn’t have to be the person that projects the image of a leader at the negotiation table. Depending on the strategy chosen by the team, the leader may pose as someone that’s in a strategic position for a particular negotiation. He may also be positioned as someone that a senior person on the team can replace once the negotiation has reached a certain point.

The point is, once you have a strategy in place, don’t undermine it by undermining the person that’s the lead for the negotiation. Not only will you be weakening her, you’ll also be weakening your team’s negotiation position and the perspective beneficial outcome of the negotiation for all of you.

 

What are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to  sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #Leadership