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Category: Women In Business

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Entrepreneurship Investing Management Marketing Negotiations Operations Sales Skills Women In Business

Influence: How to Surprisingly Win More in a Negotiation

 

“To win more negotiations, use the power of influence.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

During a negotiation, you, and the other negotiator attempt to influence each other. Thus, you should always place a high value on using influencing strategies. You can increase the value of your negotiation outcomes by using the influence techniques that follow.

Psychologists have identified six forms of power that you can use as sources of influence in your negotiations. They are:

1. Coercive power

(threats & punishment) – With this form of power, you can force the other negotiator into a position of acceptance. But you should be mindful that you’ll more than likely not make a friend of him. Plus, by using threats and punishment as incentives for acquiescence you may become perceived as a bully – this may heighten your opponents need to seek pay-back. If that’s not a concern, recognize when this source of power is a viable influence tool. Just be aware of its blowback danger and how you use it.

2. Reward power

(ability to offer incentives) – Reward power can be very temporary. Its value will decline as the perception of the reward devalues. When using rewards as a source of influence, do so from two perspectives.

  1. Positive – “This is what you’ll get, something pleasant if you give me what I want.”
  2. Negative – “This is what you’ll lose if you forego my offer.”

3. Legitimate power

(influence based on your position or title) – The challenge with legitimate power is, one must accept it before it has authority. Therefore, if you have a position or title that’s not perceived as being valid, you’ll have little influence when attempting to use it in a negotiation. When using this source of power for influence, be sure to cast it in the light of perceived validity before the negotiation. That will enhance the respect and appeal of this power.

4. Referent power

(influence based on your likability or admiration) – People that possess an affable personality tend to become better received by others. While reverent power has its place on the influence scale, some negotiators will dislike you for possessing this attribute. To have this influencer serve you better, balance it based on what’s occurring in the negotiation. When it suits your position, be reverent. When it doesn’t, discard it.

5. Expert power

(influence based on your knowledge and skills) – The perception of expert power can be fleeting – because it’s situational. It lasts for the time that your knowledge is needed. In a negotiation, if a seller or buyer can acquire what she seeks from another provider, your power erodes. When using expert power, be strategic. Use it sparingly in situations that are warranted.

6. Informational power

(not tied to your competence) – This can be power derived from ideas, opinions, access to thought-leaders, and influential people you meet and have access to. This form of influence is most powerful when the other party wants access to the information you possess. Its power becomes enhanced when you’re the only source that can grant access to what’s sought.

As in any negotiation, the manner of influence you use should be determined by the personality type that you’re negotiating against. Thus, to be more influential, you must know what will motivate that individual. One way to determine that is to evaluate whether the person is a giver or taker – the giver seeks power for the sake of helping others – the taker does so for the benefit of himself.

Once you have that knowledge in hand, you’ll have the key to which combination of influence to use. That will lead to more winning negotiation outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Influence #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

 

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Best Practices Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Caution: Conflation Can Expose Crazy Dreaded Consternation

“Caution – conflation can cause consternation when the wrong thoughts control you.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert  

Was she confused? She didn’t know if she was conflating dissimilar occurrences or becoming consumed by #caution. #Conflation can do that she thought – cause your mind to accept dissimilar occurrences as being similar – even when logic dictates otherwise. She realized her perceived dilemma was leading to #consternation. And that was something that she didn’t want to deal with.

The Situation:

She posted her article in the usual manner. But it didn’t populate automatically as it usually did. Then, a message that should have gone to her special list didn’t occur – now what, she wondered. Those processes are on different platforms – that can’t be related, or can it? She felt a sense of foreboding wailing inside of her as she questioned herself as to whether she was conflating two situations that were independent of one another.

The Problem:

Sometimes we conflate dissimilar events and situations and begin to see them as one combined occurrence. You’ve more than likely heard that “things come in threes” – and that’s usually associated with negativity. So, why do we do it? Why do we subject ourselves to crazy thoughts that causes dread – that cause us consternation? In part, that’s due to what we’re focusing on and what we expect to see.

Consider this – if we weren’t looking for the “things come in threes” scenario, we wouldn’t spot the second iteration of the first thing in that occurrence. Thus, the third occurrence would never have life. We can really drive ourselves crazy assembling disjointed occurrences into a seemingly logical progression – especially when logic screams at us about their mismatch. You and I need to be cautious as soon as we start down that path – it can lead to crazy dreaded consternation.

The Solution:

First, when you’re thinking with a mindset that defies logic, think about the way you’re thinking. Continuing along your current path of reasoning can make things get worse before they become even worse. Stop your crazy thinking before it stops you. To do that, note:

  1. Conflation isn’t bad. Your appeal can be summoned by a combination of good and bad thoughts that appear to be dissimilar. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s harm in them. Both negative and positive conflation can be a plus. To assess when it is, note how it serves your goals. If it does, consider progressing your thoughts along the lines that you’re engaged in. If they’re not serving you, stop!

 

  1. Recognize the ‘headspace’ you’re in. Since your environment influences your thoughts, and impact your actions, take into consideration the environments you’re in – do so while considering the ones that you’ve been in recently. We’ve all heard about misplaced aggression due to situational occurrences that happened in another environment. To that end, even consider thoughts that aren’t prominent in your mind – silent thoughts can be like a vanishing ghost that wreaks havoc and then disappears back into nothingness.

 

  1. Question if you’re on a slippery slope. One line of thinking will naturally extend to the next thread in the string – if you fail to monitor it. When you sense you’re being filled with despair, question what scenarios you’re conflating. Ask yourself if they really belong in the same thread. To assess that possibility, listen to logic – it can be a strong arbiter for why you should adopt one belief over another.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

You may become consumed by crazy thoughts in a negotiation. Those thoughts may cause you consternation. Unless checked, you may find yourself mired by despair – wondering how you got there and how you’ll free yourself. During such times, you run the risk of being illogical, which will cause your negotiation abilities to wane. To prevent that from occurring, be mindful of your emotions. Understand what’s motivating you to think the way you’re thinking. And realize, if you’re not thinking right, the right things won’t occur.

The point is, you must isolate yourself from conflation when it doesn’t serve you and embrace it when it does. To know the difference, you must know what’s driving your thoughts and recognize where those thoughts are taking you. Then, and only then, will you have control over your thinking … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Personal Development Sales Women In Business

Women Make More Than 80% of Buying Decisions!

When her husband or partner asks, “What’s for dinner, honey?” he’s actually telling her to plan this week’s meals, make a shopping list, buy this week’s food, make each buying decision and charge it to their card, come home and put everything away, prepare tonight’s dinner, and serve him a meal.

Yes, we said, “make each buying decision”. According to Forbes, women made 80% of the buying decisions back in 2015. And it’s even higher today. In March, we celebrate Women’s History Month, and these facts are becoming more and more relevant.

Historically Honoring Women

In 1980, President Jimmy Carter acknowledged March 2-8 as National Women’s History Week. But by the end of 1987, Congress announced that March would permanently be National Women’s History Month.

Female Power

We recently witnessed an incredibly historic election, where more women than ever in our country’s history were elected. The Speaker of the House and both senators in our state of California are women. Statistically, women vote more frequently than men, and they’re making more and more decisions on their own. What does this all mean?

For one thing—it’s democracy in action, plain and simple. We also think it bodes well for the US. We are overdue to embrace many skills women have excelled in. Whether these skills are hereditary, or whether they come from culture, environment, or education, they are sorely needed.

A Woman’s Advantage

Where men seem to complete tasks and thoughts linearly, women seem to excel at multitasking. Mothers are often the ones to juggle finances in order to meet their family’s budgets. A woman’s so-called “nesting instinct” may make her more likely to hone in on security, avoiding conflict, and discovering common ground. Women are also more likely to choose to work in a team-based environment, rather than trying to do it alone. Sounds like something we need right now, doesn’t it?

Our Own Experience

Barefoot Wine was aimed at a 35-year-old mom with two children, making her way through the grocery store, looking for a reliable wine that fit her budget.

Our business was mostly run by women. Two of our four Board of Directors members were women. Our VP was a woman, and she had total veto power. Our Marketing Director, Winemaker, Traffic Manager, Accountant, Office Manager—all women. And we had one of the first female Sales Managers in the industry. Plus, Bonnie, our Co-founder, has her own footprint on the label of what is now known as the biggest wine brand of all time!

Simply Put—It’s Good Business

Women have a multiplier effect. Rarely do they ever buy just for themselves—they buy for their partner or entire family. Any business should understand that if the market were gendered, it would be female. This is truly the power of the purse!

Women demonstrate their concern about the environment. Nielsen released a report that shows how today’s consumer prefers products that advertise sustainability, and we now know that 80% of these consumers/purchasers are female. Mothers want to give their kids a thriving environment in which they can enjoy their future. They do this by voting with each purchase.

We are eternally thankful for women’s contributions over the years, and especially now as they confidently and firmly take our economy and government by the reins. We are excited to see their natural cooperation and preservation tendencies play themselves out, both in politics and in business. We continue to encourage young women to start a business of their own and speak out for what they believe in.

Women: The world is ready to invest in your products and to listen to what you have to say!

You continually make a positive difference, and everybody benefits from your contributions. Women of the United States—Thank you!

For more, read on: http://c-suitenetworkadvisors.com/advisor/michael-houlihan-and-bonnie-harvey/

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Stop Complaining and Do Something About It!

“Complaints are like infections. If neglected, they can harm you.”   -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

Two friends were talking. One said to the other, “I don’t get enough sleep – I’m gaining weight – I sit at the computer too much. And, I don’t exercise like I use to. I wonder if that’s why I’m putting on weight? I know all of that is bad for my health. But I must continue creating content. And, I must respond to the hundreds of people that reach out to me through email and social media every day. My life is spinning out of control and I don’t know what to do to balance it!”

Finally, the other friend said, “stop! I’m your friend – I care about you. Listen to yourself – you have the answer to everything you’ve complained about. If your complaints meant that much to you, you’d do something about them. You’d take action to address and correct them.”

Have you caught yourself complaining about what appeared to be a dilemma – something that caused you angst – something that you didn’t do anything to correct? If so, what you proclaimed to be so perplexing was not as challenging as reported. Because, like the one friend said to the other, if it created the degree of torment you stated, you’d do something to address it.

Here’s the point. There are times when you complain to solicit empathy from those you complain to. Recognize when you’re doing that. Because you’re not ready to take action – you just want to shout aloud about what you’re experiencing. You may be seeking feedback to comfort your mind, not feedback that’ll move you to action. Contrast that to when you become tired of complaining about something. That’s when you’ll take action. To note the difference in your mindset, note the differences in your actions.

Action Item:

If you’re seriously fed-up with your circumstances, if you’re tired of what’s stopping you from greater improvement, you’ll stop complaining and take action to alleviate its cause. Start to note the times when your complaints increase or decrease. Begin to observe the emotional upheaval you experience when thinking about a complaint that causes you anxiety. Pay attention to the degree of change that occurs in you – note when you think you might take action to address your concerns. That process will help you measure your mental perspective about your perceived challenges. It should also be the distant call that moves you closer to taking action sooner than later. That will be a time when your self-actualization and happiness embrace … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Most likely, you’ve complained about not negotiating efficiently. When it occurred, did you anguish about it? There are two possible reasons why you might not have negotiated better. Either you didn’t plan properly or, you didn’t create a better strategy in your planning process. How many times has that happened throughout your life? A better question might be, now that you’ve heightened your awareness, what are you going to do about it going forward?

If you’ve complained about the negotiation outcomes you’ve had in the past – if you thought you could have negotiated better. Do something about it – stop complaining! You don’t have to learn more negotiation and reading body language strategies from me. But, to assuage your own emotional state of mind, seek insights from someone that can teach you how to become a better negotiator. Take action – that’ll allay your complaints.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#StopDoingIt #Complaints #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

Categories
Best Practices Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Marketing Mergers & Acquisition Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Shoulder Shrugs Can Expose Scary Secrets in a Negotiation

“Shoulder shrugs expose secret information. Notice them to detect their secrets.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

Have you heard the cliché, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”? If you have, do you subscribe to it? If you do, you shouldn’t. Because, a lack of knowledge can expose you to scary secrets in a negotiation – secrets that can bite you at the most unsuspecting points in the negotiation. But, there’s one way you can protect yourself. How – by accurately interpreting the meaning of shoulder shrugs when you negotiate.

Shoulder shrugs convey secret information. They expose hidden thoughts of the person that’s attempting to hide those thoughts.

Observe the following shoulder shrug examples. You’ll obtain hidden information that those shrugs attempt to conceal.

When a person displays a shoulder shrug, it can represent a multitude of hidden meanings. It can be a sign of reluctance (i.e. what more do you expect of me) – a sign of protection (i.e. I’m not going to stick my neck out) – it can also be a sign of exasperation (i.e. I’m getting tired of this). Regardless of the hidden meaning, it gives additional insight into the thoughts of that person.

Single Shrug: A single shrug can denote a lack of full commitment in response to a question or statement made.

Leaning Preference

  • When displaying a single shoulder shrug, a person will tend to favor their dominant side. This is important to note – because it adds additional meaning to the shrug. As an example, if someone that’s right-handed shrugs their left shoulder, he may be displaying less of a commitment to the response that caused the gesture. As with everything related to reading body language, you must establish someone’s body language foundation before you can accurately assess the validity of their actions.

Double Shrug: A double shrug (both shoulders elevated) can connote more commitment to a reply or statement.

As an example, if one elevated both shoulders while stating, “I didn’t do it”, she’d be displaying more commitment to the statement then if she displayed a single shrug – note: to discern the probability of the truth you should still probe deeper. The act of the shrug is that person’s commitment to her pronouncement at that moment – it can change with further probing.

Leaning Preference

  • When someone performs a double shrug, that person’s hands provide additional insights. As an example, if an offer is made consisting of two items and the recipient says, “I don’t care”, while shrugging with one hand higher than the other, he’s nonverbally expressing a preference for one of the items – the preference lies in the order the items were offered or their proximity to the hand that’s higher.

Additional Shrug Meanings:

Hands: The movement of someone’s hands lends insights into their thoughts. To gather additional awareness per the meaning of a shrug, take note of …

  • hands close to the body – indicates they’re guarded
  • hands palms-up – signals they have less to conceal
  • hands palms-down – they’re less accepting
  • hands palms-up-and-out – says, keep away from me

Head Tuck: To observe how threatened someone might feel when they shrug, note the degree they protect their head when …

  • head extends forward – says, I’ll challenge you
  • head to one side – denotes preference
  • head straight up – states, I’m willing to expose more of myself
  • head tucked – says, I’m making myself less of a target

Of course, the additional shrug meanings can conceal someone’s real intent. That’s because good negotiators can affect this maneuver to add perceived emotional credibility to their effect.

Shrug Time:

Always note the length of time a shrug lasts and the number of times they occur. The length and number of times will indicate a person’s ever-changing degree of angst or determination to get you to back off. In all cases, they’ll be signaling information that you can use to enhance the negotiation.

Action Item:

Start noticing when, under what circumstances, and how frequently people shrug their shoulders. Doing that will increase your attentiveness and skills about this behavior. That will allow you to become a better negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#ShoulderShrug #secrets #NegotiationStrategies #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Investing Management Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Not Thinking Right Can Lead to the Wrong Outcome

“You affect your thoughts by the order in which you think. Always think about the way you think.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

He was flying to Toronto from the U.S. He noticed a $250 difference in the airfare when flying into one airport versus another. He also noted that the two airports were only 13 miles apart. So, he thought, for a $250 savings, I’ll fly into the less expensive airport. That was the beginning of a bad decision! It was not the #right #outcome that he’d hoped for.

When you think about maximizing your outcomes, do you consider the order of your thoughts and how that influences your thinking? At what point do you consider you’ve received enough information before deciding to take action? Those are very important questions to ponder. Because, based on the order of your thoughts, you’ll adopt one action versus another. That, in turn, determines the degree of value you add or subtract to the outcome.

To improve your thought process, consider the following.

The Story:

In the situation with the airports, the ground transportation from the less expensive airport was $250 roundtrip, to get to the hotel and back to the airport. That negated the savings of flying into the less expensive airport. Plus, more time was required to get from the less expensive airport to the hotel. Yuck!

Mistakes in Thinking:

Our friend made the following misjudgments in his thinking:

  1. He figured, since the airports were only 13 miles apart, ground transportation wouldn’t be more than $60 roundtrip – he made that assessment based on travels he’d undertaken in the U.S. – he missed that guess by $190 – ouch!
    • A lesson to observe – everyplace is not like every other place. Unless you have factual data, don’t assume what was true in the past will be constant with the situation you’re considering.
  1. Our friend did not consider calling the hotel and asking for information about its proximity to airports and ground transportation.
    • Had he sought further information – our friend would have received feedback that led him to make a better decision. He would have recognized the value he thought was in the less expensive hotel was a mirage.
  1. Our friend was in a hurry to book the flight and move on to other activities.
    • Sometimes, you should let information simmer before acting on it. In that time, you may consider additional thoughts that alter the value of that information. Our friend’s hasty decision created more angst than he initially realized. Don’t let that happen to you.

Action item:

The lesson offered from this information yes, when making important decisions, you should take note of your thinking process. Pay special attention to outcomes that may leave you in a place that you’d rather not be in – or one that could have been better.

Before committing to an action, consider thoughts you might engage, the order of those thoughts, thoughts that might serve you better, and why you weren’t thinking about those thoughts before the outcome you arrived at. Doing so will lead to more fruitful and happier outcomes … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

If you’re unprepared for a negotiation situation, your assessment, and the way you respond may later become deemed as being irrational. Thinking about situations you might encounter ahead of time and preparing for them will temper possible negative outcomes – it will also give you more opportunities to consider how to think differently and/or better about the situation.

Therefore, in a negotiation, the order of your thoughts will have a drastic effect on the actions you take per the offers and counteroffers you make – that will determine the outcome of the negotiation. Thus, you should consider what’s motivating your thinking, why you’re motivated to think that way and where those thoughts may lead. By doing that, your thought process and how you order your thoughts will become your greatest assets.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com 

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#right #outcome #wrong #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Power #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

Beware Silly Provocations – How to Hack Crisis Negotiations

“Never fall prey to a silly provocation. It can be the prelude to a contrived crisis.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

She wanted everyone to know that she was upset. Her language was foul, loud, and silly. She presented it as a provocation to induce hot drama. Its delivery occurred in a cool and calculated manner with the intent of inciting a crisis. One might think that occurred during a nasty negotiation – it happened in a small bank branch. And the occurrence was the pronouncements of a customer who at first demeaned a bank teller and then the branch manager.

In a negotiation, there are ways to hack situations such as what occurred with the foul silly-mouth customer. The following are a few of those hacks.

Environment:

The individual in the bank repeatedly complained aloud about the possibility of her ‘personal’ information being overheard by other customers – note that she meant her personal information – she claimed the teller asked for it to determine her identity. To the customer, that was an offense.

Hack: When dealing with people that appear to lack lucidity, assess if their demeanor is an act. Based on your assessment, be logical or illogical with them. Then, note the change in their demeanor. If they begin to use logic to strengthen their position, use logic in addressing them further. If they’re illogical, ask what they would do if they were in your position with the guidelines you’re working with. Either way, they’ll give you the solution to the problem. Thank them for it. And if it’s to your benefit, use it. If it’s not, excuse them or yourself from the surroundings.

Had the customer been in a different environment (e.g. church) and she’d not received the outcome sought, her demeanor more than likely would have been different. Thus, always consider the environment that one is in when they project certain conducts. And question if it would be the same if not in that setting.

Personal Assessment:

In a negotiation, always consider the type of individual you’re dealing with. Evaluate to what degree she’s educated, a bully embarrasses easily, or someone that never adopts shame for an action. That insight will give you a measure of understanding as to what type of personality you’re dealing with. That, in turn, will give you clues to how best to deal with that individual.

Educated – Everything being equal, people with higher levels of education can be dealt with at higher levels of reasoning.

Hack: Thus, if negotiating with someone of this ilk, try using logic to reason with them. They may not succumb to your behests. But you’ll have a greater chance of calming them before they become more irrational acting.

Bully – People with bully tendencies seek attention. They want to be perceived as someone that demands respect – in their mind they’re someone that others should not trifle with. Some negotiators will use bullying as a tactic – they’ll do so to determine how far they can push you.

Hack: If you sense someone’s attempting to use provocation as a bullying tool, stand your ground – act bravely! If you give in, they’ll push you harder and further.

Embarrassment – The person that embarrasses easily is on the opposite coin of the person that never adopts shame for her actions. The shameless person will attempt to project her antics to burrow into your psyche. By doing so, she assumes she’ll enhance the probability that you’ll acquiesce to her demands.

Hack 1: For the shameless person, don’t let her tactics effect you. Suggest aloud that you’re aware of her attempts – do so boldly! Then note to what degree she escalates or de-escalates the situation. If she escalates, she may be testing your resolve to determine its validity. What you do next will impact the rest of your interactions – choose wisely between upping your stance again or deflating it. If she de-escalates, she will have given you control. Make haste with it while softening your behavior as her reward.

Hack 2: For the person that embarrasses easily, temper her antics by raising the stakes – deal with her sternly but in degrees. She doesn’t want others judging her harshly. Thus, she won’t escalate a situation that causes her embarrassment – therein lies her vulnerability. Be cautious about appearing to take advantage of her. Anyone can become irrational when pushed too hard. That’ll make them less predictable, which could make a negotiation more difficult.

Provocations, silly or not, can occur in any negotiation. Controlled provocations are tools that good negotiators employ as a tactic. Having greater insight into hacking their efforts will prevent you from falling into their traps, while agilely avoiding hidden crises … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

#Provocation #Hack #Crisis #negotiator #BodyLanguage #Liar #Beware #Negotiate #Process #Power #Powerful #Emotion #Business #Progress #SmallBusiness #Negotiation #NegotiatingWithABully #Perception #emotionalcontrol #relationships #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #ControlEmotions #BodyLanguageSecrets

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Best Practices Culture Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

How Long Will You Carry Your Burdens?

“Burdens will enslave you. Set yourself free by releasing them.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

The rod broke! It was repaired – clothes were placed back on it – it broke again, was repaired again and now it had fallen again. The rod gave way to the burden of the weight it carried.

In life, you too carry burdens. They come in the form of anxiety, stress, disappointment, perceived rejection, lack of perceived success, and what may appear to be mayhem. When encumbered by them, you’re delayed from swifter movement until you’re able to rid yourself of them. Between those points, those burdens weigh you down – they cause you not to be as efficient as you otherwise would be – they wreak havoc in your life, which spills over to those closest to you. They cause your life to be a hell on earth. Stop the madness! Control your burdens.

Extended Time:

Over an extended time, the rod was slowly bending to the will of the weight it bore. The slowly yielding process that sapped the strength of the rod occurred at such a leisurely pace, the naked eye couldn’t recognize what was happening. That’s what occurs to you when you have too much of a burden to carry. The weight of it slowly causes you to denigrate into a state of decline. If recognition occurred sooner, you could address the situation before it sapped you of your vitality.

Comfortability:

So why don’t you recognize when a burden is becoming too uncomfortable to endure before it becomes too uncomfortable to endure? The answer is, your psyche tells you that you can bear the discomfort – you can take the pain. It won’t last much longer – be tough! While that can serve as a great source of motivation in the right situation, it’s a double-edged sword. Thus, if not controlled, it can leave you in an uncontrollable state.

Caution:

When you’re besieged by heavy burdens, don’t let them weigh you down – you already know the consequences of that. When you’re beleaguered by thoughts of uncertainty that assail your mind, listen to those signals. They’re warning you that your load is too heavy – it’s akin to your engine light flashing red. At a minimum, recognize and acknowledge that you’re in an area that may be fraught with potential danger.

Action Time:

The rod broke because the heft upon it was too great a load to sustain. Like the rod, your life will also break if you don’t castoff burdens that are too great for you to the harbor.

If you sense too many obstacles are creating too many burdens for you to bear, shed them from your life. Your load will be lighter. You will be able to move more freely as you move towards greater goals that will improve your life. You will have freed yourself to be freer to achieve more and be more of what you were meant to be … and everything will be right with the world.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Negotiators bring their burdens into the negotiation. Those burdens cause them to react in different ways depending on the gravity of them. Thus, their burdens impact the negotiation process.

Just like people move quicker away from something that’s too painful and more slower towards pleasure, so will they release a burden when it becomes too cumbersome to bear in a negotiation. What that suggests is, depending on the negotiator type that you’re negotiating with, you can use the weight of a burden or the release of it (pleasure) to motivate him to adopt one position versus another. The one you choose would be dependent on which served you best. And that would be dependent on the situation and the individual.

While burdens can be cumbersome, recognizing the value of using them as a tool during a negotiation can work to your benefit. Thus, if your burden is too heavy during a negotiation, attempt to transfer it to the other negotiator. You’ll get a reaction from him – note it. If he displays discomfort, extend an offer to relieve him of that burden. He’ll be grateful to you for having done so. You will have taken the burden that you gave him back. But you will have also gained a better position in the negotiation for doing so.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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How to Stop Crazy Negotiators from Killing Negotiations

“To stop crazy negotiators from acting crazy, preempt them before they do so.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“That #negotiator was crazy. He made offers and then took them back. Worse, when you mentioned it, he acted like he didn’t know what you were referring to. I thought his antics would kill the #negotiation. How did you learn to deal with such crazy negotiators?” – said a junior member of a negotiation team to his team leader.

Everyone has encountered an experience such as mentioned. You engage in a negotiation assuming the other negotiator will act rationally. And instead, that person risks killing the negotiation because of his craziness. Such antics can leave you wondering if you’re dealing with a sane individual, someone that’s attempting to use ‘crazy’ as a tactic, or someone that’s just full of buffoonery. In either case, the following information will give you a format for dealing with such people.

Form of Communication:

If based on prior behavior, you believe you’ll be negotiating with someone that’s erratic, put as many components of the negotiation in place before sitting at the negotiation table. You want to leave as little to chance as possible. To do that, consider using written communications to outline what will be negotiated and to set the conduct boundaries before agreeing to meet. He may act unreasonably face-to-face. But if you’ve set prior parameters, you can point to them to illustrate when he’s out of bounds.

Team Environments:

When dealing with an opposing team, the dynamics can be a little more daunting. That could be due, in part, to the team’s leader not having the control to manage it or any number of other variables.

Nevertheless, if you sense irrationality due to inner bickering amongst the opposing team, consider a divide and conquer strategy – play the strongest against the weakest and the weakest against the strongest. To do that, lend more credibility to an offer made by a weaker member – they should be speaking with one voice but remember, they’re bickering. You’re endeavoring to get the team to bicker more with one another to sow discontent.

Individuals:

When dealing with an individual, you need to know more about the forces that are motivating his actions. As an example, he may have been told to close a ridiculously difficult deal or lose his position with the organization. He may have inferred that he’d get a long-awaited promotion if the deal is within certain parameters. He may also be the setup for the next phase of the negotiation and not even be aware of that. Thus, he’s told to hammer you hard for a deal, only to have the deal supplanted by his superior who will assume the role of lead negotiator in the next phase. You think you’re dealing with one person that’s acting irrationally when, you’re really dealing with a team that could be playing good cop/bad cop – you just don’t know it. And that’s to your detriment.

To insulate yourself from such tactics:

  1. Inquire about others in his environment that might be interested in the deal.
  2. Have him confirm in writing that he has final approval to agree to a deal (watch his body language when doing this – if he displays any form of hesitancy, he may be sending a signal of discomfort. That could indicate that he’s not the final arbiter.)
  3. Get him to commit in-writing every understanding that you have about a deal. Do this as you move from one phase of the negotiation to the next.

The point is, if he’s acting crazily, you want to identify the reason for such actions and eradicate them before investing a lot of time in the negotiation.

Conclusion:

There are multiple numbers of ways to control a negotiator that appears to be crazy, irrational or one that attempts to bully you during a negotiation. When dealing with such, point out what’s at stake. Get their buy-in for the agreement and state the consequences as being huge and painful if broken. Doing so will lessen the chance that the crazy type of negotiator will get the best of you … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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How Does This End?

“Always assess whether you should attempt to influence outcomes. It may be more beneficial not to.” –Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

You should always attempt to accurately assess a situation before attempting to influence it. That assessment will leave clues to how it might end. And, if you don’t like the possible ending, you may be better off not doing anything at all.

The Story:

The leader of team one was engaged in a negotiation against two other teams – they were negotiating the extension of a contract worth $10,000,000. To subvert the efforts of team three, the leader of team one offered a silent payment of $20,000 to the leader of team two if he could get team three to withdraw from the negotiation. After the teams haggled for several weeks, team one won the contract.

With glee in his heart and dollar signs in his eyes, the leader from team one gladly remitted the $20,000 bounty to his team two confederate. When team one’s leader asked the leader of team two how he convinced team three to drop out, he said, “it was easy. There was a clause in the current contract that stated the three teams had to negotiate in good faith for the extension renewal. The fact is, neither team two or three wanted the extended contract.” With that, the guy from team one said, you mean I could have saved my $20,000? The team-two leader said with a smile on his face, “that’s right!”

Survey:

If you knew something would end badly before engaging in it, would you go through with it? When a few hundred people answered that question, some of the answers were surprising. Some of them said they’d embrace the situation because it would prepare them for other activities – thus, they would learn from the bad situation, which would allow them to be better prepared to address a greater situation in the future. One would think that thought process goes against conventional wisdom. But it may not, depending on who you’re dealing with.

Assumptions:

How can you predict how someone will act if you don’t know their source of motivation? It’s a difficult assessment to make. You can’t even assess an accurate probability of how they might act.

When dealing with people, you should always attempt to predict how they might respond based on their interest. Don’t assume they’ll act in a prescribed manner unless you’ve received direct input from them or another reliable source. Even if it comes directly from them, you still must verify what they say through another source. To do less is to set yourself up for possible foolery. Adopt the perspective that people may not act in their best interest if you don’t know what their best interest is.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Don’t assume you know how people will act or react. When negotiating, understand what the other negotiator wants, why he wants it, and the reasoning behind his desires. To do that, solicit his honest input – tell him, the only way you can give him what he wants is to know exactly what that is.

It’s of equal importance to know what the other negotiator doesn’t want. This, combined with what he wants, will give you a more complete picture of what may drive his actions. With that insight, you’ll have a better idea of how the other negotiator wants the negotiation to end. Then, all you need to do is assist him in walking down that path. At the end of it, there will be a winning combination that’ll make him embrace the outcome of the negotiation. The point is, you will have known the answer ahead of time as to how does this end … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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