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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

The 2 Things You Must Look For in a Mentor

I was at a crossroads. My social media agency was just a couple years old and I was struggling on what steps to take next. Should I double down on my investments and expand? Should I slow down and take time to learn. How should I handle the issues in my marriage and parenting that the business growth was causing. I decided to look for a mentor. But, I had no idea how to find one and what type of person to look for. In the end, I found two incredible mentors, both of which I’ve had meaningful relationships with for the past 6 years and I learned there are two things you must look for in a mentor.

First, find a mentor who works the way you want to work.

I found my first mentor, Tom Niesen, in my Vistage group. Vistage is an amazing group for CEO’s where you are surrounded by your peers to discuss your success, failure and needed learnings both personally and professionally. Over the months, I couldn’t help but be impressed. Tom is the CEO of Acuity Systems and often talked about how he groomed his employees and ways to bonus them in that truly meant something to them personally. Tom owns Acuity as well as a few other companies (including a coffee company in Hawaii, because he loves coffee). He takes 8 weeks of vacation a year and actually unplugs from work to enjoy them. Tom has been married forever and has an amazing and loving family. When I saw Tom speak, I thought he was captivating and engaging. I realized I wanted to work more like Tom. I don’t think I ever asked Tom to be my official mentor but over the years I’ve watched him and modeled some of my behaviors after him. When I have questions or want an opinion I respect, I ask to see him and he always guides me in the most honest way he can. Plus, the guy is just hilarious. One of my proudest moments is when my administrative specialist, Brisa Castillo, outgrew the opportunities at my company and left to pursue other options. She later went on to work for Tom, where she is flourishing.

Second, find someone who lives the way you want to live.

When I began to search for my next mentor, I decided I wanted to find a woman CEO/Owner who was married had children. I used LinkedIn and struck gold. When I found Lois Melbourne, the the CEO/Owner of Aquire, I was a bit awestruck. She was doing what I was doing, but on a much larger scale! I reached out to her through LinkedIn and Lois could not have been more kind. She agreed to meet me for lunch to see if we would be compatible for a mentorship. We got along famously and scheduled regular lunches where I was able to pick her brain for an incredibly valuable hour. Lois has mentored me for years and still does today. I’ve watched her navigate the sale of her company, successfully working with her husband, raising her son who is now a teenager, building the most beautiful house I’ve even seen, publishing her first children’s books and now starting a nonprofit. Lois is an incredibly busy woman who never turns me away when I need help or advice about divorce, work, parenting, being a woman executive, selling a company and searching for what fulfills me.

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Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

Be The Boss of You

Be The Boss of You

Before you are truly ready for a position of leadership, you must first learn to be the boss of yourself. Now that may sound silly to some people, but how can you be the boss of anyone or anything, if you don’t even know how to be a good leader to yourself? Being a good, successful leader is something that starts with you. Passive people that have no discipline are usually never successful, and if they do get a taste of success, it won’t last very long.

You have to be bold enough to be persistent, even when others are trying to stop you, and you have to be strong enough to pick yourself back up when you fail. Arianna Huffington once said, “We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes… Understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” Does her name sound familiar to you? That’s because Arianna Huffington is the editor-in-chief of the AOL/Huffington Post. She is also the President of a company called the Huffington Post Media Group, which has 12 international editions.

Although this unstoppable DIVA is now one of the most successful businesswomen in the U.S., it wasn’t always like this. Arianna has had many failures and ups and downs on her road to success. She stayed committed and found the strength to learn from her failures. She used her failures as a tool to learn, grow, and achieve success. Do you think Arianna Huffington would be where she is now, if she had no discipline, and allowed her failures to hinder her? Absolutely not! Through personal development, she acquired the demeanor of an unstoppable boss, picked herself up, and carried on.

Pamela Nicholson is the CEO and President of the largest car rental company in the United States called, Enterprise. She is one of the most powerful business women in the U.S. Pamela was only a management trainee when she first began her career with Enterprise Rent-A-Car in 1981. Through hard work and dedication, Pamela climbed her way to the top. She stayed persistent, which enabled her to keep climbing the corporate ladder until she became the first CEO and President that is not related to the founding family of the company. She is also the first female CEO and President that Enterprise has ever had.

What do these women have in common? They both have fought their way to the top, and never doubted their ability to succeed. It takes a lot of personal development to climb the corporate ladder all the way to leadership. To become a high-ranking leader, you have to have discipline. You have to be able to take constructive criticism, accept occasional failure along the way, and grow from it. The truth is, you have to have the mindset of a leader first, before you can truly lead others. Personal growth should be continuous on your road to success.

You have to learn to be the boss of you, before you can be the boss of others. The best way to start acquiring the mindset of someone who is ready for leadership is to listen to the advice of others that have already achieved success in their careers. Up or Out with Connie is an inspirational podcast show that can help you on your path to success. Connie Pheiff is an unstoppable DIVA. She is a best-selling author, a successful motivational speaker, the chair of “The Pheiff Group”, and she is also the host of the popular podcast show Up or Out with Connie. This show is a breeding ground for personal development, and will help you understand that you are the boss of your own destiny.

 

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? Want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to LEAP Into Extreme Leadership

The world is full of people who call themselves leaders, but woefully short of Extreme Leaders. Perhaps you think that’s OK. Extreme Leaders, you might reason, are only needed for extreme circumstances – a soldier taking fellow troops into battle, a Sherpa guiding climbers up Mount Everest, or a quarterback directing a potential game-winning drive in the Super Bowl. Everyday life, you might say, requires only everyday leaders.

But here’s the reality: Everyday leaders who aren’t also Extreme Leaders aren’t taking anyone anywhere worth going. They risk very little and gain very little. Soon the only reason anyone follows them is out of the obligation that comes with a paycheck.

Extreme Leaders, meanwhile, love their work and the people associated with it so much that they embrace and inspire audacious decisions. They attack their work with a contagious energy. And they display an unwavering commitment to get things done. In other words, they willingly put themselves on the line to change their world for the better.

That’s leadership worth following. And you don’t have to be a soldier, a Sherpa, or an NFL quarterback to be an Extreme Leader. You just have to lead with Love, Energy, Audacity, and Proof – otherwise known as LEAP.

Interested? Here are a few ways to LEAP immediately into Extreme Leadership:

Cultivate Love – Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.

Extreme Leaders find ways to genuinely love their work and every individual who touches their business. Then they act from that level of motivation. Thus, they pay nearly obsessive attention to the needs, desires, hopes, and aspirations of their customers and co-workers. So here’s the go-do: Identify at least two people who love what you do, one inside your organization (e.g., a co-worker) and one outside (e.g., a client). Tell each of them why you love your work and provide a specific way you plan to serve their needs over the next 60 days.

Generate Energy – Generate more energy when you walk into a room than when you walk out.

You don’t have to watch TV or movies to see zombies in action. Just walk through the typical office in corporate America. But not yours, because you aspire to Extreme Leadership. A couple of ways you can generate energy include passionately sharing a purposeful vision with others and actively expressing gratitude to others. So pick out five people in your work atmosphere and do at least one of those two things for them in the next 24 hours.

Inspire Audacity – Make a connection between the work you do and its potential impact on the entire world.

Extreme Leaders demonstrate a bold and blatant disregard for normal constraints. Not in an impudent manner, but in a courageous I-want-to-change-the-world way. In three sentences or less, explain how you plan to change the world through your work.

Provide Proof – Prove yourself through significant, observable, daily actions.

It’s easy to talk a good game, but Extreme Leaders back up their talk with their behaviors. Write down three ways you are “proving” that you love your work, team and/or customers; three ways the people around you see your energy; and three audacious things you are doing to change the world.

Extreme Leaders put their skin in the game and make a difference in the world, no matter what the environment. Nothing is too mundane or too routine that it can’t become part of something bigger and better. So don’t be content with everyday leadership and everyday results.

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Entrepreneurship Management Personal Development Women In Business

Are You an Irreplaceable CEO?

 

ARE YOU AN IRREPLACEABLE CEO?

There are tons of articles out there that talk about what makes a great leader. I read one today that hit me where I live because of one word: Story.

The CEO featured in the article is a renowned, beloved leader in his company for many reasons — his integrity, his approachability, his transparency, his work ethic, etc. But what stood out to me was his being described as a “masterful storyteller”.

High Five! Fist Bump!! Yes!!! A CEO who not only understands the power of story, but finds a way to engage his employees so that they get it, too. Each time he addresses a room, he insists that a different employee introduce him every time. And forget about reading a boring bio — the employee has to come up with a story about the big boss. As the article says, “it’s part of the lesson.”

When I work with CEOs on presentation skills, media training or a video project, story is always at the heart of our work.

Why? Because story is the best way to connect one human being to another. At the end of the day, business is about finding a way to connect with a current or potential client so that they’ll do what you want them to do — buy your product or service. But far too often, we focus more on what we do than on who we are and what drives our passion. We focus more on the message than the story, not realizing that the best way to get our message across is to share our story. And the more personal, the better.

Now, I’m not advocating that you cross the line of good taste, but I am advocating that you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to share some part of yourself. That’s what will make an impression. That’s what will break through the clutter. That’s what people will remember. And that’s why the author of the article I’m referencing calls GE Chairman and CEO, Jeff Immelt, “irreplaceable.”

“He’s a model of vulnerability, self-study and reflection,” she writes, “a masterful storyteller who articulates his success and failures with equal parts humor and passion.”

When you’re ready to retire, what will your employees write about you? What will be your legacy? It starts with your story.

About the Author: Linda Lorelle is best known as an Emmy and Gracie Award- winning journalist who anchored the evening news for nearly 17 years at Houston’s NBC affiliate, KPRC- TV. The Stanford graduate is now an entrepreneur, using the art of storytelling to create compelling, original video content for clients who understand the value of owning their story. C-Suite executives who want to brush up on their presentation skills also call upon Linda to share her expertise in public speaking and help them feel more at ease.

 

Linda is a highly skilled emcee and panel moderator who is able to seamlessly guide a conversation around any subject matter. She also enjoys engaging with audiences on a variety of topics as a keynote speaker, including her most recent theme: “Don’t Ever Underestimate the Heart of a Champion: A Journalist’s Journey of Loss and Transformation”.

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Entrepreneurship Health and Wellness Management Women In Business

Thin Without Dieting

Check out the video here.

What’s the most frustrating thing you think about when you look at your body and say to yourself, “I need to lose 20 pounds?”

Is it?:

  • How am I possibly going to do this? I’ve tried so many times.
  • Dieting has never worked for me.
  • Even if I lose 20 pounds, how am I going to keep them off?
  • I just like to eat. Now what?

The bottom line is that diets don’t work. The recidivism rate on people who were on a diet is over 95%.  You resent having to deprive yourself, so why do it?

In today’s video Esateys gives six simple rules of how to lose weight and keep it off without dieting. 

Change your life style and your eating habits and you will change your waistline. Guaranteed!!  

And when you lose weight and keep it off  you will feel so much better about yourself and that will make you more productive and successful in your business and in every area of your life.

More on Esateys. www.esateys.com

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Motivate Your Team

Have you ever felt that if you could just motivate your team everything would be better? Why aren’t they motivated? Why don’t they want to do what needs to be done?

One of the reasons your team might not be as motivated as you would like is because people are not completely motivated by external factors, or at least they are not motivated by them for very long. A leader can inspire someone to action, but true, long-lasting motivation can only come from within the individual.

Think about something you have done that did not come from you, but had external forces behind it. Maybe it was where you went to school, what you majored in, a project at work, chores around the house, exercise, etc.

Now don’t get me wrong there are lots of projects and chores that come from external sources, but what I’m talking about for these has to do with being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

I bet you can come up with several situations where you excelled at tasks that you were given control over doing a way that felt good for you and other situations where you dreaded what you had to do because the motivation was not from within. When you get to create the path you are going to take it is much more motivating than when someone else tries to create it for you.

Since long lasting motivation must come from within you probably want to know how to create motivation in others, like your team or your employees. The following are three ways you can tap into key motivators to create engagement, which is one of the pieces of a high performance team.

 

First – Alignment

You want to align people with the work they do in a way that allows them to contribute who they are to a task. That means if someone loves creating systems and complex problems don’t ask them to do simple spreadsheet work and if someone else loves working in a group and brainstorming don’t put them at a desk where they have to work for hours alone with no input from others.

These of course are simplified examples, but the point I’m getting at is that when people are able to contribute in a way that lights them up there is little they won’t do to contribute. They will work with more focus, more dedication, more consistency, and they will go above and beyond.

 

Second – The Big Picture

People want to know how they fit into the big picture. How does their work help the organizations goals? What is it that they do that helps the corporate mission? People are truly motivated by purpose and in many cases more motivated by purpose than money. But they have to know the purpose and they have to also believe in it. This is especially true if you want to tap into the powerful energy that Millennials will bring to your workforce.

 

Third – Continued Growth

Once you have people in the right role who understand and believe in the team’s purpose, you must encourage their development. Learning new things that interest them and continued growth motivates people. They want to know they have opportunities within the team or organization to move up and grow. I don’t know very many people who say, “I’m good where I am, and I don’t want to do anything more, learn anything new, or make more money.” While the initial driver may or may not be long-term financial growth, people want to know they have somewhere to go with you or they will go somewhere else.

Take some time to reflect on what motivates you and start to look at what motivates those around you. Remember, just because something motivates you does not mean it will do the same for the rest of your team. If you want to learn more about the tools I use to help individuals and teams clarify their direction and understand who they are better visit www.c-suiteresults.com and check out the Core Value Index.

One of your jobs as a leader is to inspire those around you so that they are motivated to contribute fully, which will result in improved engagement, higher employee retention, and better overall results for them and of course for you. See how you can use these tips to amplify their motivation and help create better results for everyone on your team.

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Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

How to Build True Friendships in the Business World

Heshie Segal is my friend. I don’t mean that as a disclaimer, but as a prime example of what you’re about to learn from her.

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar famously estimated that humans can maintain a social circle of no more than 150 people, with no more than five people in our “closest layer” of friends.

For entrepreneurs who depend on networks of relationships, that might seem a bit discouraging, if not downright depressing. Take heart. The way it is doesn’t have to be the way it stays. Just ask Segal, whose passion for building truly meaningful friendships was born in a period of crushing loneliness.

Segal, a speaker, business leader, and self-described “children’s champion,” once sat alone in a wheelchair and contemplated the stark reality of her life: An intense focus on financial success had left her with thousands of acquaintances, but woefully short of real friends.

“Other than the person I was dating and my daughter,” she said, “I had no one to buy food for me, no one to take me to the doctor.”

At 52 years old, she had gone into the hospital on Sept. 12, 1996 for what she thought was routine foot surgery. She ended up in a wheelchair for more than 10 months, which gave her plenty of time to contemplate why nobody was calling to offer help.

“Well, it was my fault,” she said, “because I had been there for other people but only on my terms. Now I was suffering.”

Fast forward to today. Segal has “several hundred” people she considers “real friends” – people she could call at any time if she needed help and thousands more who are something more than mere acquaintances. Of her 5,000 personal friends on Facebook (the max allowed), she knows roughly 4,500 well enough to call them up and visit. And more than 700,000 people follow her inspirational news site, So Share This, on its Facebook page.

So, let’s be clear about this: she went from zero friends to hundreds of friends and hundreds of thousands of people in her network in just 10 years.

When we talked about how other entrepreneurs can blow Dunbar’s estimates out of the water, I realized there are at least four key questions we can work through to build the type of meaningful networks Segal has developed.

  1. HOW CAN I BE ME WITH YOU?

Segal’s number one rule is to “be yourself.” If you model authenticity and vulnerability, others will open up with you. It gives them permission to tell you when something is wrong and to ask for help. And when you willingly tell people about your life, it gives them an opportunity to offer their help.

  1. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Many entrepreneurs begin with a mindset that says, “How can you help me? A few ask, “How can we help each other?” Segal focuses on how she can help others. Once the relationship develops, she’s not afraid to ask for something if she needs it. But that’s not on her agenda in the beginning. Even when an introduction is made based on the belief that two people can contribute to each other, her focus is still on getting to know the other person and helping them, regardless of any reciprocity.

  1. WHAT RESONATES?

One reason Segal develops so many deep relationships is because so many of her relationships are built on the “who” not the “what.” In other words, it’s about building relationship based on “who you are,” not “what you do.” As she put it, “It’s not just that I want to help you – I want to resonate with you.”

To make these relationships happen, she regularly goes to conferences with a proactive agenda of deepening her relationship with one or two specific people. She seeks them out and tells them something like, “I don’t know if we will ever work together or not, but you are the person at this event that I want to know better.”

“If your heart is out there leading you,” she said, “then there is something synergistic that will come back to you. You’re not leading from, ‘Oh, I can get something from them.’ You’re leading with, ‘This could be a beautiful relationship.’”

  1. WHAT ARE OUR SHARED INTERESTS?

Some of Segal’s closest friendships are built around common interests – a love for going on safari, for collecting art, for helping serve the needs of children. Common interests open the doors to building a lasting rapport that leads to additional steps in a relationship.

What’s interesting is that she doesn’t just look for those shared interests among people who are just like her – she seeks them in people who are very different in age, ethnicity, nationality, culture, backgrounds, and experiences.

This approach, which she calls “jetnetting,” has helped her build a network that is deep, broad, authentic, and extremely diverse. All of that diversity and all of those friends help her grow, personally and professionally. And if she’s ever in need, this much she knows:

She’s got a friend in me.

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Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

Beware the Shifty Shades of Gray

Author Dan Veitkus

The important distinction between embellishment and intellectual honesty – a domain where relevant facts and information are not omitted, nor are they presented with an intention to mislead – has resurfaced in the public consciousness. Always relevant, this distinction should serve as a reminder to all leaders that trustworthy communication is dependent on accurate facts.

Disciples of servant leadership share a common allergic reaction to the “gray zone”, with preference towards trustworthy and consistent communication. Stephen M.R. Covey promotes the “trust tax” appellation to accurately describe the withdrawal made against our credibility and our productivity when we fail to speak, act and operate truthfully and ethically. The gray area that may surface for debate in business, politics or science should not be confused with the essential requirement to be intellectually honest in our communications.

 Consider the implications of a study by Mercer Management Consulting that revealed 60 percent of employees surveyed did not trust that management was communicating with them honestly.

 What does this say about the environment we live and work in? Can we really expect to make progress on business priorities such as growth, employee engagement, customer retention and breakthrough innovation when leadership fails the fundamental premise of trust? When a leader ventures into the gray zone, their credibility and trust with constituents will only decline. And the option for recovery? Not guaranteed.

Consistent intellectual honesty is essential to establish credibility as a leader. Why is this consistency such a critical requirement for leaders? For starters, auditors look for it. Shareholders demand it. Athletes practice it. Consistency is an essential part of the formula for sustainable success. Consistency guides organizations when they set policies and guidelines. Consistency allows leaders to manage difficult situations fairly and effectively. And the practice of consistent communication creates an environment of trust among colleagues and stakeholders – even when they have good reason to disagree – that is essential in order to deliver sustainable results.

Successful leaders know that repeatable success on the field of play, in the boardroom or at home depends on consistent execution of the fundamentals. They also embrace this truth: The credibility of their leadership demands intellectual honesty.

“Trust is equal parts character and competence,” asserts Stephen M.R. Covey. “You can look at any leadership failure and it’s always a failure of one or the other.”

Let’s look at three straightforward commitments that can effectively guide every leader to stay the course and avoid the Shifty Shades of Gray:

  • Get comfortable with the expression “I don’t know.” There are times when genuine vulnerability is appropriate and, “I don’t know” may be the best and most truthful answer.
  • Slow down our jaws and our thumbs. When we take time to think about our comments and commitments – even a moment or two before expressing them – we often save ourselves from the temptation to exaggerate, embellish or re-write history to suit our personal agenda.
  • Take an inventory of the trust taxes and trust dividends you are generating each day and avoid the trap of excusing yourself for playing in the gray zone. Too many folks find themselves justifying the drift into gray to avoid conflict, to advance an agenda or to shape a narrative, which may be detached from reality. The sooner you pull back the better. The gray zone can lead to the dark side, the place completely void of all trust.

And when trust is broken, the game is over — even if you don’t realize it.

The commitment to practice the discipline of intellectual honesty will require effort and practice. But the effort invested will be far less than the tax extracted by your superior, your partner, your friends and even your hitherto adoring followers and constituents if you choose to operate in the gray zone.

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Entrepreneurship Leadership Personal Development

E=mc2 – The Formula for Detecting Exceptional Servant Leadership

In my chosen profession, I meet, interview, screen or coach more than 1200 executives and business leaders, annually. With a continuously expanding sample size that would be the envy of any statistical research project, I’ve observed some patterns that have been shared in prior posts.

One pattern has emerged that can be summarized in the most elegant of equations, authored by Albert Einstein but for this illustration adapted with a deliberate replacement value for the variables: E=mc2

(E)xceptional leadership points to the presence of (M)indfulness and (C)haracter, squared, to the second power. That second power, in practice, is Consistency.

Mindfulness, unquestionable Character and Consistency are the core attributes held sacred and deliberately practiced by servant leaders. They are devoted to these maxims of self-discipline to sharpen their skills for the purposeful intention of driving consistent outcomes for themselves and the organizations they lead. The presence of these consistent outcomes allows us to measure the value of their practice.

I recently met with a newly appointed CEO who was quick to throw the prior regime under the bus, suggesting, “they took that servant leadership thing too far.” Further discussion revealed his bias towards an autocratic leadership dogma. With a bit of research and reflection and a touch of mindfulness for good measure, this CEO may have recognized the consistency of positive results that generally flows from the stewardship of servant leaders. The origin of this pattern of positive results and the exceptional potential generated under such leaders can be traced back to the formula: E=mc2

The practice of Mindfulness offers a leader the clarity required to consume, assess and prioritize enormous levels of input – data, feedback, reports, trends and more – necessary to distill that which is most relevant for a team’s mission. When teams witness depth of Character that is authentic, never compromised by situation or context, they are more likely to put their trust and their full commitment into the collective cause towards organizational achievement. The leader that demonstrates Consistency of behavior and action, through both highs and lows, is the one that earns unwavering confidence and loyalty from their subordinates and constituents. Consistency, in a special way, is the purest measurement of trust. When we trust how, what and why a leader will act in any given situation, we are more likely to follow with conviction and give our very best towards the pursuit of achieving the vision set forth by that leader. Quite simply, a calm conviction develops in the presence of Consistency and this conviction often converts latent potential into measurable performance.

Whether you’re meeting a candidate for the first time, developing a new business partnership or considering an investment in a promising entrepreneur, consider the formula for detecting exceptional servant leadership and seek to understand deeply the value the other party assigns to each variable:

    • Do they value Mindfulness? Ask them to describe their practice of Mindfulness.

    • Ask them to provide an example of a time when their Character was put to the test and how they responded.

    • Prompt them to explain their routines and provide examples that allow you to assess for Consistency in their personal and professional cadence.

You will find these questions are equally effective when performing reference checks. Solicit from references their impressions of Mindfulness, Character and Consistency in candidates, entrepreneurs or leaders they may be sponsoring.

You can discard the clever questions you’ve learned or heard and effectively evaluate exceptional leadership potential with E=mc2. If you confirm these variables to your personal satisfaction, the foundation is present for exceptional leadership and the pursuit of exceptional results.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Industries Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Power Speaking Skills:  Strategies to Increase Harmony in Conversation, Part 1: Tone of Voice:

In this video, Maria tells you how to increase harmony in challenging business conversations by monitoring and modifying your tone of voice.

The Successful Speaker, Inc. video series provides speaking strategies that will help you enhance your credibility and leadership presence during meetings, sales presentations, conversations with senior management, networking events, and even by phone.

The video series addresses every aspect of successful speaking, including how to sound authoritative, speak with credibility, master active listening, and engage your listeners. The videos also provide speaking strategies rooted in theatrical performance, providing tips on how to build belief and captivate your business listeners.