“When it comes to matters of the heart, nothing will matter unless you control the emotions that creep from your heart.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert
“… and he had the audacity to touch his heart with the back of his hand.”
Where body language is concerned in a negotiation, heart gestures are powerful moves because they’re supposed to connote sincerity. When done correctly, they suggest that the purveyor is being honest and forthright. Here’s the rub. Good negotiators are aware of the potency of this gesture. Some use it to feign sincerity when nothing could be further from the truth.
This article contrasts some of the differences between heart gestures in a negotiation. It also highlights how you can make powerful heart gesture moves when you’re negotiating. If you want to increase your negotiation abilities, take note.
- Suspect Heart Gestures:
a. Quick hand movement (hands move towards the heart and then quickly moves away – possibly denoting a quick feeling of emotion/sincerity) Note the point that action occurs to discern the degree of sincerity. If done excessively, an attempt to feign sincerity could be afoot.
b. Non-synchronized hand movement – (hand moves towards heart but not at the pace of speech – denotes lack of sincerity) Speech and body movement are synchronized. A lack of synchronization indicates a lack of forthrightness.
c. Backhanded movement – (more than likely a feigning attempt to nefariously engage you emotionally) This is an unnatural move. The more it’s done, the greater the probability that this trickster negotiator is using this move to solicit your emotions for his dastardly deeds.
- Powerful Heart Gestures:
a. Quick hand movement (hands move towards the heart and maintains position for several moments – used to convey surprise or hurt feelings) To add emphasis, lean towards the other negotiator when projecting this action.
b. Synchronized hand movement – (hand moves towards heart at the pace of speech – denotes sincerity) This movement, while capable of being feigned, is more likely a reflection of true emotions being displayed.
c. Hand(s) cupped near the heart – (Attempting to keep one’s emotions in check) Observe the length of time this gesture is maintained. To embolden this move, allow your eyes to become glazed or uncircumspective. This will add to the validity of this gesture.
When engaged in a negotiation, take note of when a negotiator touches his heart and the number of times that he does so. Use this to establish your baseline of how and when, and under what circumstances, you’ll employ this gesture. The purpose of doing so is to become mentally reflective of the other negotiator’s actions. Once you enact your gestures using the intervals that he displayed, your gestures will appear to be more genuine to him.
The heart has been romanticized as the stimuli of our emotional being. To convey your emotional sincerity, let your emotions flow freely when it serves you to do so. If you’re negotiating with someone of like-mindedness, your heart gestures will be heartfelt. They’ll be noted subliminally on the subconsciousness of the other negotiator, if not on a conscious level. That will tend to endear you to her, which will make the negotiation flow less obstructively … and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating!
After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
To receive Greg’s free 5-minute video on reading body language or to sign up for the “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/
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