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Author: Katherine Sellery

Katherine Sellery, CEO and Founder of Conscious Parenting Revolution, helps individuals minimize misunderstandings and melt-downs in order to communicate with more collaboration, cooperation, and consideration.

Categories
Best Practices Culture Women In Business

‘Twas the Night Before…

‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through your home,

Your little ones are stirring,

They won’t leave each other alone!

You went the extra mile

To bring holiday joy

But it’s not what you pictured

…it’s all about toys!

If that isn’t how the poem goes…it really should be!

A quiet, peaceful Christmas Eve isn’t the reality for many families. Your children have probably consumed copious amounts of sugar and are low on sleep. It’s not a recipe for success!

Whether you have little ones who are on a sleep strike or refusing to eat anything that isn’t covered in frosting, here’s a quick tip you can use to guide your child without raining on their parade:

“I can tell you’re really excited about Christmas, and it’s great to see how happy you are! And you’ll feel best in the morning if you _____ and _______.”

Remember always to use AND and not BUT to start a conversation that takes both their side and yours into consideration.

Fill in the blanks with: you get a good night’s rest, you eat some veggies, you and your sibling aren’t fighting… adapt this script to whatever situation you find yourself in.

Remember, both you and your child want the holidays to be a time of merriment and memories. You’re on the same team!

My wish for you this Christmas Eve is that you feel confident in your parenting. No matter where you are in your conscious parenting journey, I admire and applaud you.

To set up your 2023 to be the best year ever, I’d like to gift you with 70% off our Ultimate Parenting Toolbox between now and Jan 1st! Just use the code HOLIDAY when checking out to receive this incredible offer. This Conscious Parenting starter kit will help you gain the skills to amplify your parenting wins by responding differently to behavioral challenges.

Merry Christmas 🎁 Happy Hanukkah 🕎

Cheers to you and your family!

Love and Blessings

Katherine

P.S. Don’t get lost in the image you expect your child to be. Remember to be thankful for who your child is, not who you want them to be. For more on this, check out my tips on The Motherside ABC7 – and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss out on any other parenting hacks! Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

Categories
Growth

A Thanksgiving Message About Community

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Parenthood gives us so much to be grateful for every day—even in its most challenging moments. Feeling gratitude is important, especially at this time of year. But at Thanksgiving, I find myself thinking about another core value that ties into this holiday. . .

Community.

Thanksgiving is a celebration of our communities, familial or otherwise. We gather to share food and enjoy each other’s company. It’s one of the few holidays that isn’t centered around gifts or greeting cards. Instead, it’s all about togetherness—and, yes, eating yourself into a post-dinner food coma. 😉

As a parent, the concept of community means so much to me. The old saying we’ve all heard holds so much truth: it takes a village to raise a child.

 Building a supportive community is key to conscious parenting. You need people you can rely on who understand your parenting goals and have your children’s best interests in mind.

That’s why we started the Conscious Parenting Revolution Facebook group. In this space, you have the opportunity to meet and interact with like-minded parents who support each other in raising independent, responsible, well-adjusted children.

But community isn’t just important for parents. It’s important for children, too.

Raising your children to build their own community is vital to their success in life.

Community-building begins earlier than you might think. Your child finds a buddy to share crayons with on the first day of kindergarten; they join the local t-ball team. The communities children build for themselves in these formative years have an enormous impact on the kind of people they grow up to be.

I know what you’re probably thinking: “Whoa, Katherine! That sounds like a lot of pressure.”

It doesn’t have to be.

As a conscious parent, you have the tools to help your children build healthy communities that will fulfill and support them as they grow older. . .

When you encourage your child to advocate for their needs, you help them find friends and support systems that can take care of them.

When you build a foundation of trust with your child, you show them how a loving relationship looks and feels so they can seek that out in their other relationships.  

When you encourage your child to be independent, you teach them how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.

 The little things add up. Trust your gut, and as we navigate this holiday season, remember to demonstrate the value of strong communities to your children. They learn best by example!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Don’t get lost in the image you expect your child to be. Remember to be thankful for who your child is, not who you want them to be. For more on this, check out my tips on The Motherside ABC7 – and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss out on any other parenting hacks! Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Categories
Human Resources Parenting Personal Development Skills

5 Mindfulness techniques you can use with your kids

What is mindfulness? If it’s something you have never tried before, it’s a way of focusing your awareness on the present moment. And at the same time, you calmly acknowledge and accept your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s used as a therapeutic technique. So right now, it’s something that can really help you stay calm as we deal with all the uncertainty around us.

Mindfulness has lots of amazing benefits. From decreasing your stress to improving your mood. It can also help with emotional regulation. And that’s not just for adults. Your child can experience these benefits, as well. However, you are no doubt thinking, ‘Get my kids to sit down and meditate? Are you crazy?’ Well, there are ways you can help your children be mindful. You just have to make it fun.

While your kids don’t have the same stresses as adults, they often don’t connect with their feelings. With all the activities they do and the time they spend on their phones and tablets, they are often mindlessly going through the day. This means the only time they are checking in with themselves is when they have a tantrum or meltdown. And that leads to you being even more stressed out than you were before.

Mindfulness can help your children check in with their emotions and recognize them. Research shows that practicing mindfulness with children helps them increase their focus, decrease stress and anxiety, and can enable positive prosocial behavior. It can also be a great way to connect with your child and find a moment of tranquility. And they can be few and far between right now.

Here are five great ways you can introduce mindfulness to your children. And you will both reap the rewards.

5 Easy Mindfulness Techniques For Your Kids

  1. Breathing exercise

Meditation is essentially about sitting down and focusing on your own breath. What does it feel and sound like? Now your child might struggle with sitting still for longer than a matter of seconds. How do you combat that? You can use colorful pillows and play some soft music to create an atmosphere of calm and love. This will also get them interested. You can ask them to pretend they can smell something really nice, like flowers or a cake. As they take a deep breath in, they can then pretend to blow out candles or a ‘dandelion clock’ as they breathe out. Ask your child to think about their tummy rising and falling. Start by keeping it short, aim for 10. Then you can increase the time.

  1. Notice 5 things around you

When you consciously notice the world around you, it can help bring you back to the present. This is very helpful when you are feeling overwhelmed by stress or emotion. Noticing five things you can see brings you back to the present.

You can turn this into a game for your kids. Sit down with your child wherever you are and explain you want to play the “notice five things” game. Then you call out five things you can see around you, and ask your child to try it too. Then you can explain this can help if they are ever feeling upset. You can also try saying, noticing five things you can hear.

This game brings your child back to the now. It works really effectively if your kids are already relaxed and ready to learn. With regular practice, your child will soon be calling on this tool to help with stress or losing control.

  1. Encourage your child to embrace all their feelings

No matter how hard you try to keep your children calm, they w

ill, at some point, throw a tantrum. Mindfulness can enable them to learn how to accept their feelings without judgement. As a parent, you need to set an example in this.

Of course, if your child is in the middle of the grocery store screaming blue murder, you are just as upset as they are. So easier said than done. But if you try and see past their behavior, acknowledge your reaction, take some deep breaths yourself, that is the first step to calming everything down.=

Don’t try and get them to do meditative breathing while they are throwing a hissy fit. This will not go down well! And it won’t work. Instead, wait until they have calmed down a little. Then talk to them about their feelings, and the unmet needs behind those feelings. You can then do some breathing and discuss how you can both look at solutions for dealing with it the next time. And there will be more than likely, next time!

  1. Drop anchor

In this exercise, you stand across from your child. Stand with your feet firmly on the floor around shoulder-width apart, and show them how to do it. Then demonstrate how to push down through your feet so you can feel the ground steady beneath you. Ask, ‘How do your leg muscles feel when you push down?’

Then ask your child to tune in to different parts of their body

, starting with the head. Ask, “How does it feel?’ You work down through the whole body so your child can feel the weight of gravity connecting them to the earth.

Once you have done that together, ask what they can notice around them. This is essentially a way of linking back to the earth around you and feeling more grounded in the present.

  1. Silence game

The silence game has been practiced in Montessori classrooms around the world for many years. This mindfulness practice asks children to be as quiet as they can. And it’s not just with their voices, it’s with their bodies as well. It’s good to aim for a minute, to begin with, asking kids to be as quiet and still as they can.

When the game ends, speak in a soft voice and ask your kids what they heard or saw while they experienced the quiet. Then ask them to keep that calm, peaceful feeling during their next activity, and if they can for the rest of the day.

In conclusion, these simple games and activities are an excellent way for you and your child to connect differently. They will help them build tools to center themselves when they feel stressed or out of sorts.

Mindfulness is a way you and your child can experience calm to

gether. It will also alleviate those feelings of nervousness and anxiety, which we are all dealing with during the coronavirus.

Don’t approach mindfulness with too many expectations. This means you’re living in the future, and mindfulness is about the present.

But if you encourage your child to embrace these methods, they will also start learning the necessary tools to self-regulate. If you practice regularly, your kids will feel happier and more peaceful. And so will you.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine Sellery

PS: It’s a crazy time of year – the overstimulation, the weather changes, the time off from school. Read my entry on how to introduce structure to your children’s life if you are dealing with chaos. Click on the link here now.

 

Categories
Growth Health and Wellness Leadership Parenting Personal Development

5 Steps to Ace the School Year

If you’re a parent or caregiver to a school-aged kid, chances are you’ve found yourself learning grammar or long division again — and sometimes, the teacher is on Zoom. And you’re fighting with the technology of uploading your child’s digital work. And trying to run a household. And maybe attempting to work yourself.

While it’s not easy to juggle all those priorities, it’s possible to make the experience a little better for both you and your kids.

The expectations around school and the pressure parents put on their kids can create a lot of stress. Whether your child is co-working with you at the living room table or back in the classroom, these 5 tips will help you both ace the semester:

  1. Discover your child’s learning style.

    Some kids find it easy to work independently while others need activity and collaboration. Find out which learning styles your child responds to best and help shape their experiences accordingly. Independent thinker? Give them time and space to study and work on their own. Collaborative mind? Encourage them to schedule more Zoom sessions with their classmates. Catering to their unique style will help your kid have a more positive experience.

  2. Encourage their hobbies.

    Who says education has to be by the book? Let your kids explore and expand their non-academic skills, like cooking, baking, drawing, or dancing. These skills are just as important as geometry or social studies. What matters is that they find ways to become engaged with something they care about. Their hobbies may change over time, but the ability to dig into an area of interest has lifelong benefits.

  3. 9Use the resources available.

    Look around you: you have a wealth of educational resources online and in your neighborhood. Coordinate a book swap with a classmate or neighbor. Hold biology class outside to look for real-life examples of the concepts your child is learning. Sign up for online guitar lessons (Youtube can teach you to do just about anything these days). Let your own creativity expand the options beyond the school’s lesson plan and the oh-so-many online worksheets.

4. Design a schedule for learning.

Children thrive with some structure in place — adults, too! It’s important that children have a dedicated time and place for school activities. Work with your child to develop their own little study nook in the house, and help them identify the best time for activities like homework and studying. While they may not be able to dictate their entire schedule, your child should definitely have input in this process.

5. Don’t focus on the grades.

Try not to be overly preoccupied with your child’s grades, especially during this wild and crazy year. Becoming too grade obsessed can give a kid the impression that their confidence or self-worth should be tied to competency. We have to constantly remind our children that love is not something they have to earn or acquire by doing well in school or being a “perfect” human. We are worthy of love and belonging simply because we’re alive and breathing. Work to be more forgiving if your child scores lower than expected on a test. And forgive yourself if you feel like a less than perfect teacher. Our children’s achievements are not a reflection of us!

One thing is certain: the school-from-home era has been a learning experience for all of us. Learning always means growth, which gives you and your child the opportunity to deepen your relationship and come together as a team. Besides, not everyone gets a chance to relive their school days. 🙂

If you and your child struggle to talk about school, my free ebook may help. I wrote 7 Strategies to Keep Your Relationship With Your Kids from Hitting the Boiling Point to give every parent the tools they need to improve their communication with their child, especially around hot-button issues like homework and grades. Grab your copy today.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Growth Personal Development

6 tips for transforming power struggles into parent-child collaborations

Hello, Conscious Parent! Welcome to “Dear Katherine,” a Q&A with real-life parents/caregivers. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com.

Dear Katherine,

I am a mother to a lovely, zany, strong-willed 8-year-old girl. I love her to smithereens, but sometimes it feels like we’re in a constant power struggle. Last weekend she wanted to wear a bathing suit to church. Today, she refused to wear a coat—in the middle of winter! I value her firm sense of self and the vitality of her character, but I don’t want to be caught in a cycle of push and pull. What do I do?

Love,

The Struggle is Real

Dear The Struggle is Real,

First, I want to congratulate you on raising such an amazing little girl! A strong-willed child isn’t a “bad” child, but a unique person with special gifts and talents. Their innate sense of self-direction and motivation positions them to become amazing leaders. They’re often vibrant and passionate free-thinkers who aren’t easily deterred by outside pressures.

I, too, have a strong-willed child. My daughter Pia had (and shared!) opinions very early on and I had to learn how to effectively communicate with her and meet her needs.

The Struggle is Real, you wrote that you value your daughter’s vitality and sense of self. That’s wonderful! As parents, it’s our responsibility to encourage a strong will, not break it. You can empower your child’s identity and still keep the peace.

Here are 6 tips for transforming power struggles into parent-child collaborations:

  1. Encourage independent learning.

    Known for being spirited and brave, strong-willed children learn by experience. She wants to ride a bike without your help? Let her. She decided to cut her teddy bear open and sew it back together? Tell her to go for it. (She may cry later, but you’ll be there to comfort her.) As long as she’s not in any real danger, give her the space to test her limits. She’ll be all the wiser for it.

  2. Teach self-direction.

    If there’s one thing strong-willed children crave, it’s being in charge of themselves. Take this opportunity to teach healthy autonomy. Ask her to create her own daily schedule, plotting out blocks of time for activities like school, play, and sleep. Strong-willed kids are quite collaborative when given the freedom to express themselves.

  3. Give choices, not ultimatums.

    If your daughter is anything like mine, she probably hates submitting to a parent’s will just because they said so. Explain to her why she can’t wear her swimsuit to church (swimsuits are for swimming), then give her the choice to pick out another outfit. You can even compromise by allowing her to wear the swimsuit underneath a dress.

  1. Set routines.

    Most strong-willed kids need to be able to predict what happens next. Setting regular routines helps them know what to expect. Collaborate with everyone though so that each person’s feelings and needs are considered when creating the routines and you will save yourself a lot of agony. If others are included in the conversation, then you have avoided all the power struggles because they were a part of the decision making process. No more trying to sneak in another hour of screentime!

  1. Practice positive communication.

    Instead of yelling back when your child is throwing a tantrum (I know it’s tempting), take a deep breath and give them time to wind down before you engage. When everyone’s calmer, ask your child if she can reframe what she needs to say in a more considerate way.

  1. Listen. 

    When a child violently opposes a simple request (e.g. to take a bath), there’s usually a deeper reason why. Sit down and ask her what’s really bothering her. The art is to do that without asking too many questions but really listening. Listening allows you to sense into what the problem is “behind the problem.”  “Seems like something is bothering you” will get you further than a more direct “What is wrong with you?” Finding the real cause of conflict will help you address it at its core.

 

The Struggle is Real, when your strong-willed child is “acting up,” that’s when she needs you the most. Let her know that power struggles are unnecessary because you’ve got her back and have her best interests at heart. When it’s clear to her that you value her identity just as much as she does, your strong-willed girl will become your best ally. 😉

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

PS. Have you received your free copy of my #1 Amazon Bestselling book? Check out freeparentingbook.com to claim yours!

Categories
Best Practices Culture Human Resources Women In Business

Happy Valentine’s Day from CPR!

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays! I long for the days when my children were little, and I would send them to school dressed in red, with little cards for each classmate in hand. I love the energy, the decorations, and the spirit of meeting others with love. Most of all, I love how I can jump right from my Chinese New Year celebrations into Valentines day!

My Conscious Parents from the US or EU may not know this, but the final day of the Chinese Lunar New Year is celebrated very similarly to the western holiday we know as Valentine’s Day. Young women, in hopes of finding a sweetheart after a week of Lunar New Year festivities, walk their neighborhoods and admire the many decorative lanterns strung about. As an expat in Hong Kong the past 30+ years, I had the honor of celebrating this beautiful holiday many times, and still hold it’s traditions tight to this day.

For families, Valentine’s Day is a chance to find your own traditions, and an excellent opportunity to practice meeting each other with love. This season often reminds me of Marshall Rosenberg’s rendition of “See Me Beautiful”, a heartfelt song that pleads for love in spite of imperfection. How timely Dr. Rosenberg’s message is for the parenting work that we do! May we all celebrate not only the unconditional love of our significant others but of our children, our families and our communities.

See me beautiful, look for the best in me

That’s what I really am and all I want to be

It may take some time

It may be hard to find

But see me beautiful

See me beautiful, each and every day

I hope these holidays inspire you to relish new beginnings and see the beauty in everyone.

From the bottom of my heart, wherever you are in the world: Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

PS Honored to be a guest on Natasha Graziano’s show – one of the most generous, pure hearted and supportive people I’ve ever met! Check out the episode here!

 

Categories
Best Practices Growth Parenting Personal Development Skills

7 Ways you can help stop boredom for your kids at home

“I’m bored.”

The words every parent recognizes — and likely dreads.

Our children are continually learning, socialising, and most have a busier calendar of birthday parties and playdates than we do. But, during the summer or less busy times, children often quickly find themselves looking for things to do.

From teens to tweens to little ones boredom is no stranger! We even get bored! Children aged between five and six years old are used to a structured routine. However, occasionally your routine may change or be less busy on some days or during holidays.

This leaves your kids not knowing what to do with themselves. Without an endless stream of activities to keep kids occupied outside of the house, here’s how to help them grow accustomed to days where there’s often a dull moment, so everyone stays sane.

Why your child gets bored

Boredom is a familiar feeling in children. Feeling irritated, unsatisfied, or uninterested by any activity can lead to boredom. Boredom occurs when your kid feels energetic but has no idea where to direct his energy. Boredom is a common complaint among children and adults, as well.

You or your child may become bored while engaged in an activity, due to:

  • Loss of interest
  • Confusing instructions
  • Fear of making a mistake
  • Repetition of the activity for too much time
  • Feeling unable to try new approaches to the activity

How you can use Conscious Parenting Guidance if your child is bored

Although you may too be feeling fraught at times with life so uncertain and a lack of any routine, it’s an opportunity to apply conscious parenting guidance, and not respond to them angrily or rudely.

Try these steps:

  • Don’t ask why your child is bored. That can be a roadblock in communication.
  • If your kids are frustrated, don’t respond in an angry or annoyed way. Take a deep breath and center yourself first.
  • Help your child recognize other emotional issues or feelings which you might have mistaken as boredom.
  • Ask open-ended questions to get their creative juices going.
  • Help your child find an engaging activity or one you can participate in together.
  • Your child may just be feeling bored temporarily. They may be trying to get your attention, or they may just want to play.

7 ways you can keep boredom at bay with your kids

That’s all very well, but what if your imagination of engaging activities is exhausted or you are busy and exhausted and do not have time to always entertain them?

Here are ideas for helping to stop the boredom at home.

Get Back To Nature

It’s the perfect opportunity to let their creativity thrive and spend some time nurturing plants and seeds which could grow in the garden or a window box.

Remember your childhood favorites

What about all the simple things you could entertain yourself doing for hours when you were a child. Maybe a good old fashioned paper airplane race?
How about finding a rope and skipping? Learning to hula-hoop? Remember all those rainy days you filled by playing hang-man?

Go High Tech

You don’t need to avoid all of the technology available. But as a conscious parent, you may want to guide your children towards some of the more socially conscious apps or encourage them to use their time on-line to build their blog.

Fix Things

How many items do you have on your fix-it list? Usually, we are time-poor, and it’s easier to throw something away and get another one when it breaks. This is the perfect opportunity to teach your child how to fix things. Maybe you can show your older children how to sew a button back into a shirt, or even learn together. There is an abundance of YouTube tutorials that will guide you through.

Music

Why not encourage your children to develop their music tastes? It’s the perfect time to explore their likes and tell them about a song of your favorite bands and songs.

Cook

What better way to get creative together than to cook together? You can concoct something from the cupboard, or follow a recipe along. It’s an opportunity to explore flavors and tastes and be present in making something creative for the family to enjoy. And, of course, if you’re baking, someone needs to lick the frosting from the spoon. It’s a rite of passage.

Put on a play

Or even a dance number. Learn it, perform it, and enjoy them getting into character and being someone else for a while. It’s an opportunity to learn empathy as they can see a situation from another’s eyes.

Why a little boredom can help your kids

These are all great ideas, but is a little boredom healthy for your child? Dr. Steve Silvestro says it’s essential to allow your child to be bored and that it can spark creativity — and that’s why some of us get our best ideas in the shower.

Doing the same routine every day, often at the same time of day, over and over again — it’s pretty dull in there. That dullness and monotony actually gives your brain freedom to wander and explore nooks and crannies of thought that you might not meander through at other parts of your day.

When children are bored, they have the luxury to allow their minds to explore in more detail. It gives the opportunity to get ingenious and creative.

Encourage your children to come up with some ideas themselves. You can build a “Thinking Spot” for your child. If you can create a space in your child’s room or a playroom with a comfy seat or pillow, paper & pencils, perhaps even small toys for inspiration, then when your child says that they are bored, suggest that she sit in the “Thinking Spot” and come up with ideas.

Boredom is completely normal. Dr. Dibya Choudhuri, a professor with the counselling program at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti says we didn’t have a word for boredom until the 19th century.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But very quickly it got a very bad rap. When children are left alone to figure something out, you’ll often be blown away by their ability to problem solve, and boredom gives this a chance to develop.

This is why it’s actually healthy to let your kids get bored for a certain amount of time.

Of course — none of this will stop the bleating cry of “I’m bored,” so it’s helpful to be prepared with your responses. Ignoring them doesn’t get you much peace. The best approach is to turn it into a positive. When you hear those fateful words, you can tell them, “I love it when I’m bored. I can get really creative with what I’m going to do next. I have time to think, and it’s up to me to do whatever I want to do.”

If you liked reading this blog post, then check out our blog post all about how to get some structure during chaos.

Categories
Body Language Growth Parenting

We Celebrate Black History month

February is Black History Month and we want to take this opportunity to highlight, honor and celebrate a few of the incredible contributions the Black community has made to science, the arts, politics and social justice.

Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, all three demonstrated the power to change society with non-violent conflict resolution. The lives they led continue to inspire ours and shed light on the way forward.

Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson, these three brilliant women who were depicted in the film Hidden Figures were major contributors to the US historic launch of John Glen into orbit.

Last year, the nation inaugurated its first Black vice president, a woman who previously held important roles as a former district attorney of San Francisco, as well as attorney general and a junior US Senator from California.

And at the inauguration of the President of the US, twenty-two year old Amanda Gorman recited her poem The Hill We Climb making her the youngest inaugural poet ever! The poem was a call for “unity and collaboration and togetherness” among the American people. It took my breath away and I offer you her poise, words of promise and hope and encouragement with this link to her inspirational address.

I was born in New Orleans, La. in the heart of the deep south and in the middle of the civil rights movement.

I believe that before the country can move past racial harm there needs to be truth, accountability and hopefully reconciliation. We need to have the difficult conversations.

“There is always light.

  If only we’re brave enough to see it.

  If only we’re brave enough to be it.”

-Amanda Gorman 29 Dec 2021

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

Categories
Growth

Heartfelt Gratitude for You – My Wish for Parents Everywhere in 2023

I’m writing today to say how deeply grateful I am for you.

Thank you for your daily commitment to becoming the parent or caregiver you want to be.

Thank you for having the courage to look at how your own beliefs and behaviors may be affecting your relationship with your child.

Thank you for the vulnerable way you’ve shared both victories and struggles with your community of fellow parents.

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey.

Happy New Year: those words have never sounded sweeter!

Today, we get 365 brand new days to build the lives we want for ourselves and for our families. The joy that comes from being a conscious parent isn’t just a right, it’s a responsibility. And the transformation that happens, both for parents and for children, truly has the power to change the world.

I wish you health and happiness, today and for the entire year. Let’s see what adventures 2023 has in store!

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

  • PS: I want to help you start 2023 on the Conscious Parenting path. So now through Jan 1st, I’m offering 70% off my Ultimate Parenting Toolbox. No matter where you are in your Conscious parenting journey, I admire and applaud you. Use our “HOLIDAY” code to get this incredible offer and set up your new year amplifying your parenting wins!
Categories
Growth

Parenting Rage is Real—Here’s How to Manage It

Can you relate to this scenario?

You wake up and spend 30 minutes coaxing your kid to get dressed for school while you rush to get ready for work.

They fight with you over what they want to wear, insisting on the same blue shirt they’ve worn every day this week.

You finally make it to the kitchen table for breakfast, only to have them refuse to take a single bite of food.

You try hard to keep your voice from rising, asking them nicely over and over again to please eat their breakfast.

“Eww, Mom, the yolk’s too runny.”

Snap.

You’re not sure if this anger has been bubbling up inside you for a while now or if you just woke up extra irritable today. But something inside you has broken in two.

Your heart pounds and your hands shake as you let out a desperate yell in response:

“FINE, GO AHEAD AND STARVE!”

Alas, parenting rage has reared its ugly head.

Parenting Rage Is Real

What you’re experiencing is legitimate—and more common than you think.

Rage is the uncontrollable, monstrous sibling of anger. It’s an emotion we’re all prone to feeling—whether or not we like to admit it.

No one wants to be the scary mom shoving her cart down a grocery store aisle with a crying kid behind her. But when we feel rage, our families often bear the brunt of it.

As parents and caregivers, it’s our job to provide a safe and loving environment for our kids—not traumatize them with our uncontrollable meltdowns. And yet, we’re imperfect human beings who get tired and stressed and lose our tempers once in a while.

So, what now?

Managing the Fury You Feel

The good news is that parents and caregivers can take proactive steps to manage the fury we sometimes feel. Here are a few places to start:

Ask yourself, “what’s my unmet need?”

When we experience escalated feelings of stress, sadness, or anger, it’s because an unmet need has been continuously ignored or violated. It’s impossible to take care of your family’s needs when you yourself are drawing from an empty tank.

In the case of parental rage, sit with yourself for a moment and ask yourself what you really need. Are you stressed about work? Sleep deprived? Frustrated with your marriage? Perhaps you need your co-parent to step up and help out more with the kids.

Be aware of your triggers.

What behaviors send you careening over the edge? I suggest keeping a trigger journal to observe words or actions that set you into a rage.

If you notice that back talk always gets your temper flaring, do some inner work to find out why. Is there something from your own childhood that makes you react so strongly to your kids having a different opinion from you?

Being aware of our triggers helps us deal with the negative emotions associated with them—and hopefully react better next time we find ourselves in a triggering situation.

Forgive yourself.

Yelling at your kid doesn’t make you a bad parent. It just means you’re human. Forgive yourself for the times you’ve lost your temper—and let your child know how sorry you are for your outburst. Move forward and commit to doing better next time.

Parenting rage may be real, but so is our love for our children. When we work on our own issues, we can learn to respond with gentleness and compassion instead of anger.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. If your rage has become unmanageable, please don’t hesitate to ask a professional for help. There’s no shame in needing additional support. The Conscious Parenting Revolution also has a network of supportive parents