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Category: Culture

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Best Practices Body Language Culture Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Skills Women In Business

Important and Urgent

Right before the pandemic hit, I was speaking to a highly-regarded CEO about how I help business leaders up-level their game as it pertains to stress management. She was intrigued, but ultimately said, “You know, what you do is important, but not urgent (referring to the Eisenhower Matrix, a simple decision-making tool that helps you prioritize tasks).”

Almost two years to the day, managing stress and the consequences of not managing it well, have finally captured our attention. Mental health, wellness, work-life balance, burnout, depression, anxiety, and sadly suicide have become all too common in our everyday lives. Here in the US, we’ve plummeted down the world rankings for happiness.

But what does that mean for employers in the coming year? If you haven’t heard the term “The Great Resignation,” it’s important you do.

According to the Harvard Business Review, more than 9 million global employees quit their jobs in July 2021. And of them, the largest share went to the 30-to-45-year-old bracket. Unsurprising as this average age of new managers, carrying a large amount of stress and usually the least equipped to deal with it.

There are many complicating reasons for this exodus, but according to the study: “many of these workers may have simply reached a breaking point after months and months of high workloads, hiring freezes, and other pressures, causing them to rethink their work and life goals(https://hbr.org/2021/09/who-is-driving-the-great-resignation).”

In my 38 years as a mental health professional, my most engaged clients have been those between the ages of 30 and 45. They’ve lived past their 20’s when they thought they knew everything. And haven’t yet reached their 50’s where again, they will think they know everything.

It’s a time of growth when the existential meaning of life is most compelling. This generation, in particular, is hungry to learn, purpose-driven, and doesn’t want to wait until retirement to start enjoying what the world has to offer.

Given that we are living in unprecedented times, we must all pay attention to the underlying forces at play and the real costs of ignoring them. These issues are complicated and not easy to solve. Yet, if we don’t address them, our continued spiral towards an unhappy society will rage on.

To be very specific, when stress hormones flood the body and the brain, a person’s executive functioning goes “offline.” The desire may be there, but the capacity is not. Much has been said and written about focusing on the “whole person.” But what does that look like from an employer’s perspective?

1. Good mental health is not intuitive – it’s learned. Stress relief apps, office yoga, massage gift cards, etc. They are helpful, but not sufficient in building the kind of internal resiliency needed to cope with our current stressors. Picture bringing a plastic fork to a gunfight. Management teams need real skills and proven methods for managing staff happiness.

2. Peak Performance is predictable and repeatable. Again, one needs to understand how both the body and mind work to achieve these highly productive states. To achieve a sustainable workflow while operating in high-stress environments, one needs to be properly equipped.

3. Mind, Body, Spirit, and Emotion. These four pillars comprise a whole system and thus, a whole person. Pay attention to them and your team will notice. I can’t guarantee these methods will make you their favorite boss, but I can guarantee that you will be setting them up for success both inside your organization and for life.

The last few years have provided us with great challenges and even greater opportunities. It would be a shame to let this time of introspection pass by without making genuine change for the better. When the calendar rolls around to 2022, do you want to find yourself repeating negative thought patterns? Neither does your team.

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness

5 Reasons Your Family Needs a Daily Routine

We live in an ever-changing world. Even in our small family units, change is constant: we get new jobs, move to different houses, shift from face-to-face learning to school-from-home, switch babysitters, have another child. Although change is a necessary part of life, it can be a stressful experience for children (and adults too!).

A daily routine helps create a safe and secure environment for your kids. Children thrive on structure, because it helps them anticipate and prepare for what’s going to happen next. A routine can give your kids something to count on in an increasingly unpredictable world—even if it’s just knowing that bathtime happens at 7 pm every night.

The consistency of a routine also helps children build healthy habits. Repetition reinforces habits, and good habits develop your child’s ability to self-regulate in a healthy way. As Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, Charles Duhigg, wrote in his book, The Power of Habit:

…”signing kids up for piano lessons or sports…has nothing to do with creating a good musician or a five-year-old soccer star. When you learn to force yourself to practice for an hour or run fifteen laps, you start building self-regulatory strength. A five-year-old who can follow the ball for ten minutes becomes a sixth grader who can start his homework on time.”

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Want to know more about the power of routine? Here are five benefits your child gets from following a daily schedule:

  1. Strong circadian rhythm. Our body clocks are wired to wake up when there’s sunlight and go to sleep when it’s dark. Determine set times for getting up, eating, bathing, studying, playing, and relaxing. Explain to your child that in order to maintain a healthy body, we need to give it the structure that it needs.
  2. Healthy self-direction. It’s important for parents and caregivers to include their children in creating a routine at home. It helps them practice independence and self-direction, as well as allows them to express what’s important to them. Does your child feel like they simply must go on a bike ride everyday? Find a way to pencil that into your schedule.
  3. Quality time with family. Making room for time to eat together, play together, and rest together gives your whole family an opportunity to bond. Having stable and happy family relationships during childhood will help your kids learn to develop and cultivate stable and happy relationships as adults.
  4. The ability to plan ahead. A routine not only allows us to anticipate pleasant future events (i.e. an afternoon swim or weekend movie nights), but it also gives us the discipline to plan ahead. Self-regulation is so important—it develops your child’s ability to submit homework on time in childhood and meet work deadlines in adulthood.
  5. The propensity to cope with stress. Charles Duhigg also says that sooner or later, our habits become auto-pilot responses. We do them without thinking. As kids grow older, it’s crucial that they learn how to cope with stressful situations and difficult transitions. If your child knows that no matter what happens, they have their routine and habits to fall back on—they’ll feel healthy, safe, and secure.
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In a continually changing world, it’s our responsibility as parents and caregivers to provide a stable environment for our children to thrive in. If you need more tips on how to build healthy habits with your kids, you can download my free ebook, 7 Strategies to Keeping Your Relationship with Your Kid From Hitting the Boiling Point.

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Culture Growth Health and Wellness

Be Thankful for Who Your Kids Are—Not Who You Want Them to Be

Here in the United States, we’re a week away from one of our oldest holiday traditions: Thanksgiving. Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving where you’re located, it’s a good opportunity to show some gratitude for all that we have: our homes, our families, our health.

 

As a parent, I know you’re incredibly thankful for the gift that is your child. But sometimes we can be grateful for our kids and yet, in the same breath, wish they were different.

If only my kid were as well-behaved as my neighbor’s.

I wish my son got into an Ivy League school.

Why can’t my daughter be more friendly?

 

Parents find it hard to accept their kids for who they are. When a child exercises their autonomy, the parent often responds by telling them they’re rude, bad, spoiled, or unappreciative. We don’t stop to wonder:

What makes my kid more outspoken than the neighbor’s child?

What else interests my son besides schoolwork?

What social situations make my daughter feel most comfortable?

 

Why do we freak out in the moment when our kids say “no” instead of wondering what they’re saying “yes” to?

Your child may be your progeny, but they aren’t your clone. At most, they only share half your DNA, and they have a unique combination of experiences and emotions that are separate and apart from yours. All too often, parents treat their children as though they should be dolls: obedient, orderly, and passive. Those attitudes are often subconscious and stem from what we learned during our own childhoods.

But the cycle is not inevitable. When you engage with your child and get curious about what they’re saying “yes” to, you open the lines of communication and start to connect with them at heart-level, as human beings. And when we truly connect, that’s when we realize that our kids aren’t being self-centered or defiant—they’re just being themselves.

Our kids aren’t being self-centered or defiant—they’re just being themselves.

Be Thankful for Who Your Kids Are—Not Who You Want Them to Be Blog

The truth is, our kids don’t exist to obey us, comply to our rules, or make us happy. Each child is their own unique individual, with their own personality, opinions, and set of likes and dislikes.

So this Thanksgiving, eat a slice of humble pie, and accept that it’s not “your way or the high way” when it comes to parenting. As healthy, conscious parents (or caregivers!), it’s our duty to nurture our kids’ autonomy and uniqueness. That’s how we help them grow to be self-sufficient adults.

We need to recognize this responsibility, take it to heart, and be grateful that our children are just the way they are. Teaching kids to be considerate of their own needs and the needs of others trumps training kids to be obedient and compliant every time.

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for you, and happy that we’re on this journey together.

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness

From Manager to Consultant: Evolving Your Parent-Child Relationship for The Teen Years

Parenting a teenager evokes a powerful combination of conflicting emotions: pride and worry, joy and frustration. Indeed, this phase of life can be just as challenging for parents as it is for their kids!

The parent-child relationship fundamentally changes as your children turn into young adults. While this transformation is rewarding to witness, it also forces you to adapt your parenting style so that you’re less of a manager and more of a trusted consultant.

The Individuation Process 

Many parents fear that they’ll lose their connection to their children as they navigate the rocky teen years. Teenangers are often written off as having difficult attitudes and wanting nothing to do with their parents, but these clichés don’t tell the whole story.

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What’s really happening is that teens are going through the process of individuation and forming their own independent identities. 

Individuation can be distressing for parents, as it manifests in ways that aren’t always pleasant. Your teen may become self-absorbed or defensive, and they’ll likely want to spend less time with you than they used to.

Although these changes are perfectly normal, the process can be confusing, hurtful and even a little scary for even the most understanding parent. But creating a safe space for your child’s individuation process is crucial to maintaining a happy and healthy parenting relationship.

Evolving Your Parenting Style from Managerial to Consulting 

While it might seem like your child is pushing you away, the truth is that they still need you during this turbulent phase of their life! Teens are faced with high-stakes decisions every day, from navigating peer pressure and romantic relationships to choosing their path post-graduation.

They need someone they trust to guide them through these decisions. That someone can be you. But here’s the catch-22: the more you try to manage their obstacles or insert yourself into their decision-making process, the more your teen will turn away. They need to feel independent and autonomous—and if you ignore that need, you’ll push them in the wrong direction.

So, how should your behavior evolve to best support your teen? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Make your home a judgment-free zone. Kids absorb cues that you may not even realize you’re giving. Have you inadvertently conveyed that you view failing a test as a sign of weakness? Your teen will be less likely to approach you for help if they do poorly on an exam. Be mindful of how you express your feelings and opinions so that you don’t shut down conversations before they begin.
  • Spend quality time together. Simple activities like running errands or eating dinner together create space for open communication between you and your kid. The more you can be available without them having to seek you out, the more chances they’ll have to open up to you.
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  • Respect boundaries. As important as it is to be available for your teen, don’t take it personally when they aren’t interested in talking. Respect their space by not prying or forcing them into a conversation. What they may need most is peace and quiet, and honoring that could help them more than you realize.
  • Reinforce your support. We all need to be reminded that the people who love us want to be there for us. Teenagers are no exception. Every now and then, remind your kid that you’re a safe person for them to go to if they need to talk or want guidance.

Ultimately, you want to create an environment where your teen will come to you. Take the initiative in adjusting your own behavior to build their trust in you as a reliable confidante.

Evolving your parenting role from manager to consultant is a form of letting go. You give your child more autonomy to be their authentic self, and you give up some of your own control in the process.

It’s no small feat, and wherever you are in that process, I applaud you.

 

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. If you need support as you navigate your child’s individuation process, join the revolution in our Facebook group! You can meet and talk to other parents who are going through a similar transition.

Categories
Culture Growth Personal Development

Dear Katherine: My Child is the Disciplinarian Instead of Me!

Hello, Conscious Parent! Welcome to “Dear Katherine,” a monthly Q&A with real-life parents/caregivers. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com.

Dear Katherine,

My wife and I have two children, ages 10 and 7. Our older daughter feels that we let our younger son “get away with” things that she wouldn’t have gotten away with. 

Because our daughter feels so strongly about this conviction, she has taken it upon herself to discipline her younger brother on her own. She’ll hit him or yell at him when he does something that she feels she would have been disciplined for at his age. 

What can we do? We’ve enrolled in your course and are hopeful about our new parenting strategies—including our improved outlook on discipline—but this situation isn’t healthy for either child.

Sincerely,

Stuck in the Middle

 

Dear Stuck in the Middle,

 

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I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is navigating such difficult feelings. That must be tough for all of you.

It sounds like your daughter harbors some resentment for the way she used to receive discipline when she was younger. Now, she codes discipline as a one-flavor concept that revolves around instilling fear or punishment—and she applies that thinking to her interactions with her younger brother.

That resentment your daughter is feeling is an unmet need, manifesting into the actions you’re seeing. No child wants to feel like they’re being treated differently from their sibling, especially if they perceive a disparity in who gets away with certain behaviors and who gets punished.

Your daughter can and will get to the other side of this situation. But three things need to happen first:

  • Consistency. Change is only possible with consistent action. As you work through the course, your parenting style will change. Your daughter will gradually feel safe enough to let her guard down—but your own behavior, and how you deal with hers, has to be consistent every time.
  • Time. There’s a rule of thumb that for every year of a child’s life, it takes them one week to adjust and overcome resentment. In your 10-year-old daughter’s case, this rule suggests that she’ll need 10 weeks of consistent action before she can let go of her old beliefs about discipline.
  • Communication. Your daughter needs open and honest dialogue with her parents. Share your thoughts with her—and be ready to listen to what she has to say.

 

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Stuck in the Middle, I know this obstacle seems insurmountable at the moment, but I promise you can, and will, overcome it. There’s no growth without a bit of growing pain. Your children will adjust with you as long as you’re consistent in your methods, so hang in there. You’re on the right track.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. Save the Date! November 16th I’ll be reappearing on Episode 161 of the Real Happy Mom podcast! I was so happy to speak with Toni-Ann again – this time talking about diffusing fights with your children. Listen to my first appearance, Episode 103 Communication Hacks for Peaceful Parenting, here.

 

Rhmepisode 161
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Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness Skills

Dear Katherine: My son and his stepfather are no longer speaking

Hello, Conscious Parent! This post is the first installment of “Dear Katherine,” a letter written in response to a real-life question from an anonymous parent/caregiver. If you’d like to submit a question of your own, email me at katherine@consciousparentingrevolution.com. 

My teenage son had a massive falling out with my husband, his stepfather. My husband was triggered by my son’s actions, and the whole thing escalated into a fever pitch. Now my son refuses to talk to his stepfather, and my husband refuses to apologize. What do I do? How can I help repair the damage and find a way to move forward?

– Caught in Between

Dear Caught in Between,

It sounds like there’s more than one culprit in this story. Your husband was triggered by something your son said, and he escalated events by reacting to his stepfather’s heightened emotions. So both of them seem to have felt attacked, and both of them were also the attacker.

The first step to healing any wounded relationship is to apologize. But your child shouldn’t be the only one expected to say sorry—your husband has to do so, too.

One of the most common and long-held beliefs I’ve come across in my career as a parenting coach is that adults should never have to apologize to children. This belief assumes that adults are perfect (which we all know we’re not) and never to blame for a household argument.

But refusing to admit wrongdoing tells your kid that they’re not important enough to receive an apology, that perhaps their feelings are insignificant. Children are humans too! And as their caregivers, it’s our responsibility to recognize when we’ve hurt them and to make things right.

You are caught in Between. First, you must explain to both your son and your husband that they both have to apologize. I know you weren’t a part of this mess, to begin with, but you do have the ability to facilitate and lead your family members to reconciliation.

Find some time to talk with your husband about the Guidance Approach to Parenting, a method founded on principles of compassion and empathetic listening instead of obedience and compliance. Tell him how it’s helped you have a better relationship with your son.

Talk to your son. Tell him that his stepfather is a product of generations worth of traditional parenting hard-wiring, and that kind of conditioning can be hard to break. Explain to him that as his mother, you’re trying your best to change old patterns, but it’s a work in progress, and nobody’s perfect.

At the end of the day, Caught in Between, connection is more important than being right. Nobody is right or wrong. Apologizing is about admitting that your actions hurt another person so that you can find a way to balm the hurt and move on as a family.

 

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

P.S. For more tips on how to handle discord in the family, listen to my interview “How to Resolve Family Conflicts” with Mindful Mama podcast host, Hunter Clarke-Fields.

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

3 Steps to Defuse Any Fight with Your Kid

Has your home turned into a warzone? For many parents, after long months of being stuck indoors—sharing the same space for work, school, home, and recreation—the pressure might be building to a boiling point. Add in the worry and stress many families are feeling this holiday season, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

When a disagreement hits the boiling point, things get ugly. There’s screaming, crying, swearing . . . and that’s just the parents. And after it’s all over, we often feel ashamed and regretful. It’s only then that we remember we’re supposed to be the adults in the room.

That “out of control” feeling isn’t your fault. In the moment, when your child’s just done something that drives you nuts, your emotions get the best of you. But when you’re running hot, you don’t act like the parent you want to be. And that’s because you may not have the right tools to be able to respond instead of react.

First, take a breath. Find some compassion for yourself, and forgive yourself for that behavior you’re not proud of. None of us are perfect. When you show kindness to yourself, you model that kindness for your children, too.

Then, follow this 3-Step ACTion Plan next time you find a discussion going south. It can help you prevent a difficult situation from accelerating into a full-fledged meltdown.

Acknowledge your kid’s feelings and needs

Children often have a hard time naming the emotions that they’re feeling. Ask them leading and compassionate questions. If your kids are fighting over a toy, for example, ask: “Are you feeling angry that your sister took your toy without permission?” Their answer will help you understand their response and give clues about how to remedy the situation.

Communicate

Once you validate their feelings and identify the unmet needs that drive the feeling, check in with them to be sure they feel understood before switching to wanting to share your perspective and expecting them to hear you. Failing to do this may result in them tuning you out!

We all want to turn it into a teachable moment and explain why certain behaviors are not acceptable with more depth than “Because I said so.” Knowing that the teachable moment is NOT at the time of the issue is VERY important. It is okay to explain to your child that hitting their sibling is hurtful and doesn’t fix the problem of the swiped toy—or resolve the anger they’re feeling.  AND you get that it would really help them to practice some skills before these kinds of flashpoints occur so that there is more choice for them to respond differently.

My experience is that the key is to teach the skills for self-regulation in heated situations more than lecturing them; most kids know already that hitting isn’t okay. The issue is more about tools for impulse control when they are experiencing high emotions.

Target another option

Ask your child to help identify a solution to the problem at hand. Maybe your children can agree to take turns sharing a favorite toy. If you catch your teenager sneaking out to meet their friends, maybe you help them find a safe space for a socially distant hangout instead of sending them straight to their room. The goal is to build your child’s ability to objectively problem-solve and to let them know that the two of you are on the same team. Solo problem-solving is rarely effective. Collaboration sets the tone for your child to feel that you’re invested in them meeting their needs and want to find a solution that meets your needs too—but not at their expense of getting to meet theirs.

Learning to defuse disagreements is challenging, and it requires commitment and effort to overcome your own emotional response. But the 3-Step ACTion plan can help both parents and children learn to treat each other with love and respect.

If you’re looking for more tips on maintaining a peaceful household, download my free ebook, 7 Strategies to Keep Your Relationship with Your Kids From Hitting the Boiling Point.

Feel free to download the ebook here: www.consciousparentingrevolution.com/products/ebook

P.S. If the 3-Step ACTion plan resonated with you, be sure to grab the ebook for even more parenting advice!

Categories
Culture Growth Health and Wellness

Does Yelling at Your Kid Work?

Stop me if you’ve ever been in a situation like this one. . .

 

You’ve had a long day—the kind where nothing seems to go right. Now, when you’re supposed to be enjoying family time, your kids will not stop bickering over the most insignificant things. 

 

While they’re arguing over who can drink their water faster, you realize that you’ve finally had enough. You interject, pleading with them to stop because you’re afraid one of them might choke—and, let’s be honest, you just want a little peace and quiet.

 

Then it happens. Your sweet child turns to you and says, “Shut up, Mom.” 

 

That’s your trigger. You take a deep breath and start yelling your head off. You’re human and you yell because you feel so disrespected, and it’s been such a hard day. . . a hard week. . . a hard month. . . a hard year!

 

You’d never yell at a friend, or a coworker, or a neighbor, so how could you possibly have it in you to yell at your child?

 

Understanding Why Parents Yell

There are several reasons why parents yell at their children. It could be:

  • an attempt to get your child to literally hear or listen to you
  • a way of asserting dominance
  • because you simply lost your temper

But unless you’re shouting in a crowd to get your child’s attention, yelling is never the best way to accomplish your parenting goals.

 

In my TEDx Talk, The Rebellion Is Here – We Created it, We Can Solve It, I talk about the external locus of control or the thought process of using rewards and punishments to control behavior. When parents turn to controlling forms of discipline—like yelling—they’re relying on external factors to create what they believe will be well-behaved children.

 

If you’ve fallen into this trap before, give yourself some grace. Most people resort to this method of thinking, particularly in moments of stress. But it isn’t effective, and it certainly doesn’t lead to “better” behavior.

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Overcoming the Instinct to Yell

Just as there’s an external locus of control, there’s an internal locus of control. The internal locus of control addresses underlying, unmet needs. It’s not about what’s happening on the outside; rather, it’s about everything going on inside that is causing undesirable behavior.

 

When children act out, it’s often their way of expressing an unmet need. This same logic can be applied to a parent who acts out by yelling, too.

 

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you can’t think logically when you’re completely mentally drained. Yelling or losing your temper is always a sign to check in with yourself, as a parent and as a person, to understand why you acted out.

 

As it turns out, yelling or other controlling forms of discipline don’t stop this cycle. In fact, they actually lead to your child acting out more, through retaliation, rebellion, and resentment.

 

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Yelling can cause lasting psychological damage in children. And it never addresses the root of the problem. If you find yourself about to scream or shout, it’s probably best for everyone involved that you remove yourself from the situation and find a different outlet.

 

The next time you wind yourself up to yell, pause. Ask yourself how you might respond to that sort of discipline—and if it would cause you to change your behavior.

 

Instead, turn away, take a few deep breaths, and return to your child with a clearer head. You’ll have the opportunity to communicate with them in a manner that fosters security and connection.

 

At the end of the day, parents are all doing their best in difficult situations. But it’s important to remember that children are in that very same position. And when you find different ways of communicating with your child, it’s easier to remember that you’re both on the same team.

 

Love and Blessings,

Katherine
P.S. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands. The Conscious Parenting Revolution has a network of supportive parents here to offer you solutions, or just a listening ear. Join our private Facebook Group today!

Categories
Culture Growth News and Politics Personal Development

In Conversation with Bestselling Novelist Sally Fernandez

When Sally met Frank she discovered her style of writing and began seamlessly blending fact with fiction…or fiction with fact…you be the judge. So, if you relish suspense thrillers with a tinge of conspiracy you will enjoy Sally Fernandez’ novels. Readers have said she pens riveting plots of intrigue and political awakening.

But she wasn’t always twisting facts with fiction. Heavily endowed with skills acquired in banking she embarked on her writing career. Fernandez’ focus on computer technology, business consulting, and project management, enhanced by business and technical writing proved to be a boon. Her books of fiction also reflect the knowledge garnered from her business experiences, while living in New York City, San Francisco, Hong Kong, and Florence, Italy.

Fernandez’ foray into writing fiction officially began in 2007 when the presidential election cycle was in full swing. The overwhelming political spin by the media compelled her to question the frightening possibilities the political scene could generate. As a confirmed political junkie, she took to the keyboard armed with unwinding events and discovered a new and exciting career.

The Beekeeper’s Secret, the latest release with multiple five-star reviews, is the sixth novel and the second in the Max Ford Mystery Thriller series. It is preceded by the Award-Winning Climatized, soon to be a major motion picture, featuring Maxine Ford as the female protagonist. Fernandez’ prior Simon Hall Political series is comprised of Brotherhood Beyond the Yard, Noble’s Quest, The Ultimate Revenge and Redemption. Each book provides an exhilarating platform for the next, with a gripping narrative that challenges the reader to put the book down. The development of the other characters has created a lasting bond between them and the reader, especially now that Max has taken center stage.

A world traveler, Fernandez has visited every continent and over fifty countries. Her adventure travels with her husband, also the content editor-in-residence, include a scientific expedition in Antarctica, four African safaris, archaeological digs in Majorca and Peru, along with high-altitude treks in Bhutan, Tibet, and Mongolia. They continue to travel extensively throughout the world. I had a chance to come up with this prolific writer on her thoughts on Climate change as her bestselling novels, this is what she shared up with me.

 

Climate Change is a major element in the plotline of your new bestselling book Climatized (Max Ford Thriller Book 1) and it evolved in a very unexpected way, can you talk a bit about this and why you made this choice when writing this rather thrilling read?

 

In my earlier series, Simon Hall Political Thrillers, I touched on the issue of Agenda 21, a non-binding treaty that was developed in conjunction with the United Nations. It dealt with sustainable development which encompassed global warming, cheered on by Al Gore. I had questions about the validity of the statements that were being bandied and I ended up following the money. Not a pretty picture, but you must read my novel The Ultimate Revenge to come to that conclusion!

 

Then in 2015, the term Global Warming had morphed into Climate Change, reportedly a phenomenon that cannot be challenged. The topic was still front and center, in fact, it was so hot that it was left out of the dining room along with religion and politics. So when I decided to create a new series to give my Maxine Ford character a stage of her own, I took a different tack and began to follow the science.

 

What was fascinating about the project is that I incorporated real scientists into my storyline. Unlike my previous novels, I paired up my fictional characters with real organizations and real-life experts. So after the manuscript was completed, I set out to contact the various scientists to explain what I had done. One of my experts was Dr. Hal Doiron, Chairman of The Right Climate Stuff research team comprised of former Apollo astronauts, scientists, and engineers. Hal and other members of his research team, especially Tom Wysmuller agreed to review the manuscript. Needless to say, I was thrilled at their willingness to read and fact-check. It turned out to be a remarkable collaboration. From their meticulous details, explanations, suggestions, and corrections, it was clear they had devoted the time and interest to read the manuscript thoroughly. Hal’s review of the book was so eloquent that it became the Foreword.

 

This collaboration offered me an opportunity to speak to a group of NASA veterans at the Johnson Space Center in Houston. I remember I opened my talk by saying that giving a presentation is not rocket science, but imparting information to a group of rocket scientists was quite daunting. However, once I got over my two seconds of stage fright, I was warmly received as they listened intently to my explanation of the misnomers of anthropogenic global warming. Sadly, both Hal and Tom have recently passed away, but their memory lives on in Climatized.

 

The Beekeeper’s Secret, the second book in the Max Ford series, is truly one of your breakout books. Maxine Ford, the protagonist, goes on a thrilling adventure, coming up against Big PhRMA and the FDA during her investigation. She is also on a quest to find the Beekeeper. Why did you choose to have a beekeeper be a pivotal character in this story? What inspired you to create this compelling and enthralling storyline – and add Big PhRMA and the FDA into the mix. Clearly, it was a brilliant and perhaps prophetic choice given the current pandemic. 

 

My publisher, David Dunham, who also sadly died a few years ago, inspired the original concept for my storyline. In David’s fight against pancreatic cancer, he decided to turn to holistic medicine. And while he researched various remedies, he discovered some disturbing events. There were reports through various sources that many holistic doctors had met their untimely, and in many cases, suspicious deaths. Several of the practitioners also had run-ins with the FDA. Through my sleuthing, I discovered that in 2015, at the time I was writing the book, taxpayers funded the FDA with $331.6 million. During that same year, Big PhRMA funded the FDA with $791.1 million, which means 71% of the FDA’s funding comes from Big PhRMA. That of course begs the question, who is really in charge? I crawled into the weeds a little further and discovered that in 2017 radiation and chemotherapy drugs produced $100 billion in revenues annually with predicted profits to increase 8% each year going forward. My conspiratorial mind kicked into gear as I began to see how Alternative Medicine could pose a threat to the pharmaceutical industry. Imagine if natural cures replaced radiation and chemotherapy.

 

Ah ha, the Beekeeper! Well, that was serendipity. I just happened to be reading an article in the Life Extension Magazine about the extensive benefits of bee pollen, including in the treatment of cancer. The fact that it is natural also meant it could not be regulated by the FDA.

 

So my story starts with a senator dying in the Amazon jungle and a beekeeper meeting his death 4000 thousand miles away in New Mexico.  And yes, a bee has something to do with it, but that is The Beekeeper’s Secret, so I can’t tell you. However, somewhere along the way, I did invent a cure for cancer.

 

You are an avid traveler, so I have to ask you, what was your favorite travel adventure, and conversely what was your most challenging one? Also, do your travels end up in your books?

For me, favorite and challenging are synonymous. So, I would have to lump together my high-altitude treks in Bhutan, Tibet, and Mongolia. When you first arrive it is always important to take a few days to acclimate to the thin air. For example, when you arrive in Lhasa, Tibet you are already at approximately 11,000 feet. Ultimately, we climbed up to 25,000. All three countries are drastically different, but I most enjoyed Bhutan and Tibet because of the peaceful lifestyle of the Buddhists.

 

I’ve traveled to 55 countries and have lived in Asia and Europe. Thus far, only Europe has crept into my stories. In fact, in my first novel, Brotherhood Beyond the Yard, half of the plotline takes place in Florence, Italy, where I was living at the time. The Italian adventure picks up again in Noble’s Quest. And then, Max goes racing around Italy in Climatized. I’m working on my third Max Ford Thriller, The Infiltrator’s Shadow, dealing mostly with people in other parts of the world…so you can be sure China will be in there somewhere!

 

Climatized is being made into a major motion picture bringing Max Ford to life in a different way. If you had control over who plays Max, who would it be and why?


Max is my alter ego, my wannabee kick-ass spy within. So of course, she is intelligent, complicated, vulnerable, and lethal. My Hollywood team is currently, polishing the script and will be approaching a series of potential directors in the coming weeks. So that is the first step. But when we are ready to cast it would be awesome if we were able to get Charlize Theron. Then there is Maggie Q. And rumor has it that Gina Carano is interested. I know they are totally different. But all of them are natural beauties, and also possess some tomboyishness. My Max has to be tough and able to play with the big boys.

 

We heard you are planning a conference with some of the most renowned scientists and astronauts in the world giving speeches and talking about our Climate, which given the Presidential Debate was a hot topic on the agenda.   I know it is a bit early to have all of the details, but would you be able to tell us a little more about the event and what others in attendance can expect? 

 

You mentioned that Climate Change is a hot topic, and I believe it will continue to be for some time. So, I originally assembled a panel of experts to place the issue of Climate Change under the microscope and separate the rhetoric from the science. Keiser University in West Palm Beach has graciously donated its facility for the all-day event that was scheduled for March 12, 2021. Unfortunately, it was postponed due to the uncertainties of COVID-19. However, in the meantime, I established The Institute for Climate Change, a non-profit foundation with the mission to revive the practice of rigorous debate into the causes and consequences of climate change, as well as the associated costs and benefits. Also, to improve the social discourse on matters of science-based public policy, thereby facilitating the participation of a broad range of experts. I think it is most important to remind citizens of their responsibilities to evaluate, and not merely advocate, different points of view on this important topic, encouraging them to pose fundamental scientific and other questions of the experts we plan to engage.

We are incredibly honored to have amazing scientists agree to both virtual and live events in the future and hope to see Dr. William Happer, American Physicist; Larry Bell, Space Architecture; Dr. Jay Lehr, Geological Engineer, Kelvin Kemm, Nuclear Physicist, and other return to the podium. The organization is in its early stages of construction, but stay tuned for coming attractions!

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Culture Growth Health and Wellness Human Resources Leadership

Are You Raising a Spoiled Child?

When your child is giving you a particularly rough time, you might be tempted to compare them to the infamous Veruca Salt:

In the beloved children’s book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt embodies the cautionary tale of a spoiled child. One pony is not enough — she wants another one. As the Oompa Loompas sing:

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat?

Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?

Blaming the kids is a lion of shame

You know exactly who’s to blame:

The mother and the father

Yikes!

Many parents I work with are very concerned about somehow turning their kids rotten. But can being generous or indulgent to our kids really affect them negatively?

In order to tackle the issue of “spoiled kids,” we need to deconstruct the idea of a spoiled child. Here are some of the beliefs that often give parents the wrong impression about their own children:

  1. Children are inherently bad. When a child has a strong reaction to not getting their way — stomping, crying, screaming or giving you a whole lotta attitude — a parent will often reflexively call them ungrateful, disrespectful, or even spoiled rotten. While this behaviour is something parents should consciously address, calling a kid spoiled feeds the notion that kids are somehow evil in nature, which is absolutely untrue!
  2. The myth that kids + money = spoiled. Parents across varying income brackets, refuse to let their kids handle their own money because they’re afraid their kids will make bad choices or end up “spoiled.” On the contrary, allowing your kids some autonomy over their money can actually teach them valuable lessons about handling their finances in a healthy manner! Yes, they may make mistakes and spend some of their cash on a frivolous purchase — but that’s how they learn. Children are worthy of our trust and will only mirror what we teach them.
  3. Children will take advantage of your generosity. Again, are our kids human beings we love or little gremlins out to get us?! Children respond to what they receive from their caregivers. If we shower them with love, they’ll learn to shower others with love in return. Of course, parents need to understand that sometimes loving your kid means helping them set boundaries! Being truly generous means you know when something is no longer good for your child (i.e. too much candy, too much screen time, etc.) — and helping them hone healthier habits.

So what can we do to raise empathetic, loving children?

  • Cultivate an environment of gratitude. An attitude of gratitude starts with you. Make it a habit to go around the dinner table and ask everyone to name one thing they’re grateful for.
  • Expose your kids to different perspectives. If you’re worried that your kids might grow up entitled, expose them to different cultures and backgrounds. Understanding unfamiliar mindsets and upbringings is crucial to developing empathy in children.
  • Encourage them to give. Finally, let them experience firsthand the fulfillment and joy of giving. Ask them to make cards or cookies for friends or family, or have them help you drop off items for donation at a local charity.

Showering your child with love and real generosity cannot bring them harm. If you model healthy, generous, and loving behavior to your children, you’re doing the best thing you can for them: helping them grow up to be healthy, generous, and loving in turn.