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Best Practices Growth Management Skills Women In Business

Turning a Faux Pas into a Win

The other day I was doing a training on leadership communication for a large client in the communication technology industry. Among their many products and services are video and teleconferencing tools. In the course of my program, we got to the part about facilitating virtual meetings, and as I clicked to the next slide, I suddenly heard a couple of boos from the crowd. I look up and realized my gaffe: my default visual was an image of people chatting on Skype – a direct competitor.

Now I had a choice to make: I could flush beet-red, babble a string of mortified apologies, and run out of the room in humiliation, or I could turn it around and make it a “teachable moment.” I opted for the latter, and explicitly shared this very choice with the group.

“Actually, I’m glad this happened, because it allows me to demonstrate some additional strategies in leadership communication, rather than just talking about them.”

From there, I walked them through a sequence of steps, both in addressing my personal mistake, and narrating the conscious strategy behind each step I was taking in the process. I share it with you here, so that you can also learn from my mistake, and use the experience to your advantage, as I did.

First, I apologized. I had made an undeniable, objective mistake, and it was my responsibility to own it. My voice stayed even in speed and volume to indicate composure, and model the degree of drama that I believed was warranted by the situation, so they could follow suit.

Second, I briefly explained my original intention behind the mistake, providing just enough information to help them understand what happened and increase empathy. In this case, at the time I selected these images, my focus and biggest challenge was finding appropriate pictures with sufficiently high resolution so I could zoom it on the slide and still have the picture be in sharp focus for the best visual experience, which limited my options based on the images I found on-line.

Third, I offered a solution to the problem, and engaged the audience in helping me to solve it. “Let me offer this to you in return: From here on out, I will replace these two images with your products instead, and have them be the standard images when I present to other companies in the future. How does that sound?” I saw lots of head nods in the audience. Free advertising for them; who wouldn’t appreciate that?

Then I followed up with, “But I’m going to need a little assistance. Since I wasn’t able to find good, high-resolution images of (Product X) online, I need one of you to send me some. Who here will volunteer to send them to me?” Half a dozen hands shot up in the air. Now, not only had I offered an agreeable solution, but I had enrolled the client’s enthusiastic participation in helping me execute the decision. Now we were partners, sharing in the responsibility to achieve the desired outcome.

At the end of the day, one woman said, “I really wanted to see where you were going to go with it once that (competitor) image popped up, but you handled the whole situation perfectly! I’m so glad we got to go through the process with you.”

In the end, what matters most is how you respond in the moment. Keep your composure, acknowledge the error, apologize appropriately, give only as much explanation as is necessary (sometimes none), then offer a remedy and see it through. This enables you to maintain control of the situation and lead by example, which helps you to build (or rebuild) trust, reinforcing your image and reputation as a leader.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

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Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Three Reasons Why Feedback Can Be Fearful

Have you ever had to tell someone something but you hesitated?  Perhaps they said something hurtful.  Perhaps they disappointed you in some way.  Instead of speaking up, you avoided the confrontation.  You second guessed your position.  You may have even made up excuses for the offender’s poor behavior.  Giving effective feedback can be quite difficult and if it’s avoided can cause even more damage.

For years I personally found it very difficult to give effective feedback to others.  In my first business partnership I experienced difficult situations.  My partner would often embarrass me in front of clients.  Or perhaps he would omit important information for me to do my job.  I was often caught being either confused or ineffective in front of clients.  I always found excuses not to give him feedback about these difficult situations because I was afraid.

Eventually the partnership had to be dissolved.  Over time, I came to realize that I contributed to the demise of our company because I lacked the ability and willingness to tell him the truth.  It was at that moment I decided to commit myself to giving necessary feedback without fear.  I created the process called Fearless Feedback.

There are three major reasons why feedback can be difficult in organizations.  First, our definitions are confusing.  Feedback can be misinterpreted as criticism.  People do not like to be criticized and most people are fearful of delivering criticism because it won’t be easily accepted.  It is interesting how 96% of people want feedback if they know it can improve their performance. (Folkman, 2014)  Furthermore, 92% agreed that negative information is effective if delivered properly. (Jack Zenger, 2014)

A useful distinction is needed.  Feedback is data for the purpose of learning and criticism is an opinion or judgment.  Unless we make this clear distinction confusion and resistance will be the result.

Second, many managers will avoid being seen as a judge of behavior out of fear of making things worse.  This explains why many of us hesitate to say anything. We don’t want to make things worse than they already are.  We fear damaging trust and relationships by speaking our truth and so we remain silent.  Many fear they will be seen as biased and their insights will be rejected.  This rejection can cause hurt to the giver not just the receiver.

Third, many managers were never taught how to give effective feedback.  This lack of knowledge damages confidence.  A lack of confidence not only damages the credibility of the information but it can also create fear of loss of credibility by the giver.  A loss of credibility is the greatest fear in the workplace. (Kathleen D. Ryan, 1998)

What if there was a way to change our mindset about feedback such that we welcomed it with open arms?  What if there was a way to deliver it without fear?  What if people expected it and felt obligated to both give it and receive it? The next two blogs will explain the details of the Fearless Feedback process including what it is and how to use it. Stay tuned.

 

 

Folkman, J. Z. (2014). Feedback-The-Powerful-Paradox. Retrieved December 26, 2016, from http://zengerfolkman.com/: http://zengerfolkman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/ZF-Feedback-The-Powerful-Paradox.pdf

Jack Zenger, J. F. (2014, January 25). Your Employees Want the Negative Feedback You Hate to Give. Retrieved December 26, 2016, from https://hbr.org: https://hbr.org/2014/01/your-employees-want-the-negative-feedback-you-hate-to-give

Kathleen D. Ryan, D. K. (1998). Driving Fear Out of the Workplace. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Inc.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Why Feedback can be Fearful

How to Know When to Give Feedback

Categories
Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

You May Not Be As Influential As You Think Are

Click here to watch You May Not Be As Influential As You Think You Are

Today’s fast-paced business environment requires leaders who can create influence others with sound communication practices.  In today’s world of emails and text messages, it’s easy to overlook the importance of face-to-face communication and the discipline required to be influential Monday to Monday®.

How you deliver determines whether or not others see you as credible, knowledgeable and trustworthy. Without doing this effectively, you inhibit your potential to: influence, increase profits and build a reputation you’re proud of Monday to Monday®.

Message take-aways

  • What influence is and what it is not.
  • What it means and takes to be influential Monday to Monday®
  • Sabotaging your influence without knowing it
  • What are the misperceptions of influence?

Categories
Growth Human Resources Leadership Skills

Belle’s World – Age

Original Prompt published on July 15, 2017 on Belle’s World.

Age is something we don’t really talk about. So my question is why?

As our cultural paradigms are shifting, individuals are redefining what age really means.  When people tell me, I look young or they mention an age much younger than my age, I used to feel frustrated. Today, I take it as a compliment and very proudly announce I am 40 years old and at the tail end of the X-Generation.

Why is it important for me to let someone know my age?  It’s important because if someone assumes I am much younger they are not giving me credit for the experience (professional and life) that I bring to the table.  I appreciate the world giving me the compliment of being youthful but I also want to be known for my knowledge and the impact I can make.

Each age brings something to the table and we should appreciate the individual, for their life journey and what they offer rather than having a bias on age.  It’s important for us to engage the benefits of being in a certain generation based on age.

Millennials were brought up with technology and are adept at learning to use them and make things efficient or easier through it.  They spend much of their time interacting with each other through their devices and have always had information overload since they were children.  Millennials worry about the generation coming after them, that have had technology in their hands since they were born.  Let’s utilize the Millennials ability to be comfortable with technology to teach other generations especially boomers how to make it useful in their lives.  They may not have as much life experience but they are the driving force of how we interact with technology going forward and how most businesses are transforming to engage with them as consumers.

The X – Generation created many of the technologies that were the forefront of our technology acceleration today.  They are the conduit between technology and the human element of still interacting with people to build relationships.  They have 20 – 30 years of business experience and are able to translate much of the technology paradigm shifts along with cultural paradigm shifts.  They are going through an awakening of understanding they have a much longer life span and are still not in the prime of their lives like they expected to be.  They are sandwiched between the Millennials and Boomers and are quietly trying to transform how we live, work and play while the media focuses on the outer generations.

Boomers have experience and have built relationships over many years.  They also are living longer and healthier lives.  Retirement as it once stood has been turned on its head and many boomers are continuing to work because they enjoy it and not necessarily because they need to.  They have been doing it for so many years that it’s become a part of who they are and it continues to motivate them to enjoy their life journey.  The Boomer generation didn’t grow up with the technology, but many of them are very open to learning it and have adopted it as part of their life.  It’s key to remember that adopting technology takes a mental shift and those Boomers who are adapting are critical to our changing lifestyles.  If we have an open mind that they are more than just “old” people we could be utilizing their experience and loyalty to help move us forward.

Lastly, the silent generation, who aren’t around much but those that are live their life and are proud of how far they have come and truly appreciate the people in their life.  If we all have something to learn, it is to understand what really matters in the long run. The one main idea they all resonate with are the experiences and people in their life matter today.  The work, the money, the success are all part of the journey but they are not what brings them to happiness today.

Be proud of your age / generation and what you bring to the table.  There are no rules anymore of what you should be doing or how you should look at your age.  Own this valuable piece of your life journey and let others know what you can do to make an impact on their organization or in life.

 

Welcome to Belle’s world. Everything in this world is based on a bell curve. Our media concentrates on giving advice to make everyone be a part of the masses.

This is a weekly series of Urvi’s insights on her perception of the world. They say perception is reality and she lives in her own fantasy world. This allows her to delve into the human element of our lives, helping individuals decipher their own souls, to understand, who they are and what they want, in the journey of life.

Belle’s world explores the extremes and goes beyond the surface. Ready to read about some of the “elephants in the room?”

 

Contact urvi, for a free, 30 minute consultation, if you want to build your emotional wealth and enhance your life based on your inner core. #thehumanelement

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Industries Leadership Marketing Personal Development

Good Tipper or Scrooge – What Are You?

 

Some people love to tip and others don’t. However, it appears that, nowadays, everyone is expecting a tip even if they are just serving you at the checkout!

When you see a tip jar by the cash register what do you think? To me, the tip jar says “I deserve a tip”. But it says quite a bit more, too, and none of it good about your Customer Experience.

When ordering at a cash register, we Brits tend to feel a tip is not necessary as we offer gratuity when waited on at a table. However, I also recognize that when I am in the states, tipping rules are different.

The tip jar is there nonetheless. Now, as a customer, I must decide. Tip now, even though it’s not a situation where I would perceive a tip to be necessary, or ignore it and risk appearing rude to the person making my taco/latte/sandwich.

Say I go ahead and tip. How much do I tip? The loose change I get back from the cashier? A couple of dollars?  20% of my entire check? What is customary for the tip jar next to the cash register?

Let’s say I do tip, but then have a terribly long wait getting my taco/latte/sandwich. Or it comes cold. Or wrong. Do I get to fish my tip back out of the jar?

The presence of a tip jar reflects poorly on the Customer Experience. Whether it’s feeling unsure if you should tip, experiencing guilt because you didn’t, wondering how much to tip or wishing you hadn’t tipped at all, these situations do not enhance the Customer Experience.

The Origins and Customs of Tipping

There is some dissension about where tipping originated. One argument is that it originated in 17th Century England taverns where customers would give their server extra money “to insure promptitude” or T.I.P. Wikipedia asserts it began when English houseguests left money for the host’s servants.

Wherever it started, it didn’t make it to the U.S. until after the Civil War. The Washington Post submits tipping began because employers hired freed slaves to serve food but didn’t want to pay them an hourly wage. Over time, tipping became the norm for several industries, from hotel workers, to delivery employees, and your favorite coffee baristas.

Tips and the amount of them is subject to the country and social customs thereof. In the States, tipping is customary, ranging from 10% to 20% in most cases. In the UK, it isn’t, or at least not with same amount of expectation, which is also true in many European countries.

It’s different because of the compensation workers receive in the different countries. Many employees in the U.S. make less than the federal minimum wage because their tips are meant to make up the difference. In many states, these employees might make little more than $2 an hour in employer-paid wages. In the UK, however, employers must pay employees the minimum wage, which ranges from £7.20 to £9.40 ($8.99 to $11.74 currently), depending on the city where the worker lives.

Because UK workers make the “living wage”, there is less tipping. While there are still situations where a tip is given in the UK, there is not the same culture for tipping there that exists in the states. There are numerous situations where tips are neither given nor expected.

What a Tip Jar Says about Your Brand

Entrepreneur detailed all the ways the tip jar hurts your brand. First and foremost, a tip jar says you don’t pay your employees enough. A tip jar also make your establishment look cheap, which is never a goal of a brand. Affordable? Yes. Cheap? No. To my point, Entrepreneur asserts that tip jars are also misplaced because customers are “asked” to tip before they receive the service. Moreover, it confuses people that lack a shared cultural background.

Co-author Professor Ryan Hamilton and I present a related concept in our latest book, The Intuitive Customer: 7 imperatives for moving your Customer Experience to the next level (Palgrave Macmillan, 2016). One of our imperatives is to “accept that apparently irrelevant aspects of your Customer Experience are sometimes the most important aspects.” To summarize, this concept addresses the fact that when things get ambiguous or difficult to evaluate, customers might use high-level impressions of a brand to judge their experience. Expectations play a big role in these evaluations, and these expectations are set by your brand promise.

When a tip jar is present, it also creates an expectation. If you don’t live up to the customers’ expectations, your brand suffers for it. For small businesses, these small things can add up to big problems.

They are everywhere these days. They have weaseled their way into the most unlikely of places, quite brazenly if you ask me.

Enough is enough, as they say. Well, I have had enough with the omnipresent tip jar at the register of various establishments. If you have one sitting there now in your business, you should have enough, too, because it’s not doing anything good for your Customer Experience.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy these:

Revolutionary Thinking on Customer Loyalty

Astonishing BIG Gains from Little Changes!

Act Now to Turn Customer Pain Points into Pleasurable Profits

Colin Shaw is the founder and CEO of Beyond Philosophy, one of the world’s leading Customer experience consultancy & training organizations. Colin is an international author of five bestselling books and an engaging keynote speaker.

Follow Colin Shaw on Twitter @ColinShaw_CX

Sources:

Roth, Carol. “Small Businesses That Encourage Tipping Are Killing Their Brand.” www.entrepreneur.com. 16 January 2017 Web. 30 January 2017. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/287793.

“Service 101: A Brief History of Tipping.” www.foodwoolf.com. Web. 30 January 2017. < http://www.foodwoolf.com/2010/08/history-of-tipping.html>.

Ferdman, Roberto A. “I dare you to read this and still feel good about tipping.” www.washingtonpost.com. 18 February 2016.

Web. 30 January 2017. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/02/18/i-dare-you-to-read-this-and-still-feel-ok-about-tipping-in-the-united-states/?utm_term=.c4cc5b94ac1c

“Gratuity.” www.wikipedia.org. Web. 30 January 2017. <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratuity>.

“United Kingdom: Tipping & Etiquette.” www.tripadvisor.co.uk. Web. 30 January 2017. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Travel-g186216-s606/United-Kingdom:Tipping.And.Etiquette.html. 

Categories
Growth Human Resources Leadership Personal Development

How to Know When to Give Feedback – Be a Supportive Reporter

Ever since Adobe, GE, Microsoft, Accenture, Deloitte, and SAP decided to radically change their performance management processes HR exerts have been touting the need for managers to give more frequent, less formal, and more useful feedback.  But how does an effective manager know when to give feedback?  Furthermore, do managers even know what to give the feedback about?  Putting aside how to give the feedback, let’s focus here solely on when the timing is right and the role of the feedback giver.  I suggest managers and leaders need to be “supportive reporters.”

In my experience, there are two clear situations that can trigger useful feedback.  The first is when integrity is broken.  The second when a process has too much variation.

Imagine you are a weather prognosticator (meteorologist).  You call for rain and it doesn’t rain.  Should your boss give you feedback?  Wouldn’t you already know that was a mistake?  Would your boss’s feedback help you to learn something new? If not, what’s the purpose?

Did you lie? Do meteorologists lie?  I know what you are thinking, do they exaggerate just to get ratings?  This seems to be especially true when a snow storm is forecast.  The reporting often seems a bit sensational and people scurry to the grocery store to empty shelves of water and milk.

If meteorologists don’t lie, then what was the root cause of the mistake?  Was it the computer models used to forecast?  Was it the data used to enter the models?  Maybe we don’t even know.  Obviously, the meteorological process has too much variation.

Again, there are two clear situations that can trigger useful feedback.  The first is when integrity is broken.  The second when a process has too much variation.

When people break their promises (agreements) they damage performance for themselves and for others. Any broken agreements require immediate feedback.  An agreement is like a promise.  It is a specific and time sensitive task where a predictable process is used to achieve it.

Delivering information completely and on-time can be considered an agreement.  Arriving on-time is an agreement.

In an organization (a system) people are interdependent.  If one person expects something from another, and they don’t get it, their performance will suffer.  If the meteorologist expected new data from an affiliate and did not receive it on-time, the quality of their prediction will suffer.  The affiliate broke an agreement.  The affiliate needs feedback to prevent that from happening again.

Anytime an agreement is broken, there is an immediate opportunity for feedback. The feedback discussion will focus on preventing that agreement (promise) from being broken in the future.  An apology from the offender might also be appropriate. The discussion will center around improving the process to keep the agreement next time.

This past Sunday I was supposed to be the lector at the Church. It was not in my schedule on my phone and so I showed up at the Church not expecting to be the lector. Somehow I made a mistake and mis-read the schedule.  I still don’t understand how that happened.  I just missed it. A friend of mine had to stand in for me at the last minute. I had no idea I made a mistake (broke my agreement from the perspective of the Priest and the lector coordinator) until she called me later that morning and told me I had broken my agreement.

She and I laughed about it. She was loving and caring and funny in her feedback. We laughed even though I was embarrassed.  I immediately checked the schedule (and my phone) again to be sure that wouldn’t happen again (my process).

We need to be sure employees are aware they broke an agreement and that you and others know they did it as well. Because it is so important employees understand and appreciate the need to keep their agreements, feedback in these situations is essential.  It’s important everyone self-manage their own agreements and the feedback encourages this skill.

Be a supportive reporter and a coach for integrity and help others if they need help.  My friend in Church was a supportive reporter.

The second reason to give feedback is when a process needs improvement.  This is a bit more complicated and usually requires the use of quality improvement tools.

When integrity is broken and when processes need fixing are the two triggers when feedback is needed.  Anything else might be interpreted as either micro-management, and or bullying.  Be a “supportive reporter” instead.

How-to-Know-When-Feedback-Video

Categories
Best Practices Growth Management Personal Development

Motivation and the Big Picture

In the first article on motivation we explored how to motivate your team and then we dug deeper on the topic of alignment. In this article we explore the second way to tap into your teams motivation with the big picture.

You’ve already heard me talk about internal and external motivation so let’s look at how the big picture can help your team internalize their motivation to enhance productivity and results.

The fact that most people are motivated by more than just money is even truer today because Millennials are more commonly driven by purpose. This is important because this diverse and well-educated group is expected to make up 36% of the U.S. workforce by 2018 and nearly half of all workers by 2020. For you to have the best of the best employees and stay competitive in this ever-changing marketplace, this is a group you want to take seriously, whether you have been running your organization for a long time or are an emerging leader.

Your workforce wants to know where they fit into the big picture, what the organizations goals and mission is, and that their work has purpose. Punching a clock or showing up to do a job with no meaning is not going to cut it anymore. Your most loyal, dedicated, and hard working employees will be the ones that understand and believe in the purpose of their role in the organization.

The message on purpose starts with you helping to ensure everyone understands the big picture, the purpose of the organization; what the organization set out to accomplish and why. What is the reason the organization was founded in the first place, who did the founders want to serve, and why? If you, as a leader of your organization cannot articulate this it may be time to re-visit the mission and vision. These statements should be more than just plaques you hang in the lobby or around the office; they need to be beliefs that people can understand and be part of. But they have to be easy to articulate and understand for everyone in your organization for them to be meaningful.

Once the big picture is communicated, it needs to be included in conversations on a regular basis so that your employees will start to work towards that mission, because they are part of something bigger than themselves. However, for this to be true they need to continue to hear the mission, its importance, and how they are helping make this happen. There are many times when an employee does not understand the direct link between his or her job and the bigger picture. With each role, each task, each project, continue to communicate and teach others to communicate why the work is important to the big picture, why it has purpose.

Encourage these types of conversations among the ranks; it should become a viral conversation that anyone can have at any time about the purpose, mission, and vision of the organization. The more people truly feel the connection to something bigger, something important, the more they will dedicate themselves to serving that purpose. And once they start to internalize this purpose you have made the important shift from external motivation to internal, which is the most important type of motivation to move people forward.

For more resources visit www.c-suiteresults.com where you can find articles, videos, assessment tools, books, and the C-Suite Success Radio show. To discuss purpose and motivation in more detail reach out to sharon@c-suiteresults.com

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Best Practices Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Eve of Disruption – Future of Work – People

Are you providing the environment and support for your employees to be ready for the changing environment of the Future of Work?

Last week, I wrote about the high level impacts and components that are impacting the future of work.  This week, we will explore your employees, that are following the path to have a stable work career but are being affected by the rapid change in the way we live, work and play.

Life expectancy is growing at a rapid rate with health and technological advances.  For the boomers and many in the X-generation, the path forward was having one career, in a specific function or company which was very linear.  However, the work environment and how individuals think have changed the trajectory of what a career looks like.  As a leader, you adapt to change through your own motivations and drive to sustain and move your company forward. This mindset is not shared by most of your employees or staff.  They are there for a stable JOB to support their families and lifestyles.  As a leader, as change happens and employees no longer have the skill(s) set to run your company, you displace them. The impact on these individuals is devastating, emotionally and financially.  These employees were taught to do good work and stay in one place to provide continuity for their companies and stability for themselves.

These employees have developed a loyalty to your company, as each year goes by.  They also get comfortable with the status quo and are probably the least adaptable to change.  Their engagement is high if you don’t make massive changes but they are also the biggest dissenters as they feel the pressure of their little world crumbling away.  However, leaders need to think about keeping them and engaging them as they move forward.  Loyalty is something you can’t buy through a paycheck.  It happens over time through years of working, in a company, that supports the employee’s motivations for working. Relationships solidify the loyalty through understanding the individual and stability over the years.  As we know, in today’s day and age, the younger generation does not stay in one company or job very long and they are in fact, guided to have multiple experiences, so they are well rounded.  The boomers and X-generations were always taught to be in one place otherwise you don’t have the ability to follow through and be a good worker.  So, they put their heads down and stuck around and in turn became complacent. However, many of them are still great workers but don’t have the motivation or understanding of how to change to keep up with the times.  They are soft wired in how they think and you have the ability to impact their mindset.

In high school and college, we had school counselors who helped us navigate our skill sets, likes and subjects.  We would take tests to understand what we were good at and what subjects we would need to take to have certain types of jobs.  This counselor was separate from the person in the main office that would deal with school issues, attendance, etc.  Their sole purpose was to help guide us as we took a step forward on our path (not all of them were good!)   As we adapt to the future of work, we need to look at the structure of our companies and make some drastic changes.  Now, everything to deal with an employee sits in HR.  However, HR has become a very process driven organization versus a human driven organization.  Due to the nature of laws, there are so many policies in place that everyone becomes a box and can’t bring their entire self to the organization. (This is a whole other topic for another day.)   There is no one in HR or a company, that truly works with individual employees to look at the future of their career in a company and helps them adapt.

Companies should be creating a new department with work counselors.  Their sole purpose is to work with employees as movement happens in the market and therefore inside the company.  The counselors work with individual employees to understand what skill sets they currently have and match them to future roles.  In the meantime, as new roles are being created these employees are trained by the company with the support of keeping their job if they can adapt, to their new stability.  This allows the loyal and experienced employee to continually be engaged with the company and not miss a beat.  This creates a deeper sense of purpose for the individual and provides the benefit of prior knowledge and a cost savings to the company.  Instead of spending the money looking externally for the skill set you build the skill set in house with the right employees that you can train to do new and different jobs based on their prior skill set and personality.  Employees want their employers to support this on their journey versus going about it alone. As business leaders, we know the change is coming and need to bring the human element to our employees.  Employees are beginning to understand their own paths and if a company can support them in their journey they will benefit.  Take advantage of loyalty, experience, cost savings and a powerhouse of knowledge right in your backyard to move your company forward as the future of work manifests for each of us.

What programs and processes do you have in place to help support navigating your employees to the future?

 

Eve of Disruption – A weekly series depicting what the future fabric of our society could look like and ideas that could propel your company forward. There is a changing paradigm in how we live, work and play. Are you and your organization moving with the times and adapting to the massive and rapid changes happening right now? The Eve of Disruption looks at ideas that could be 5 – 10 years in the future but most likely will happen in the blink of an eye.

Contact Urvi for a free 30 minute consultation to see how she could infuse the innovation mindset into your organization and help you move to the future.

#jointhejourney

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Best Practices Health and Wellness Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

How to Avoid Conflict – Part 1

At some point or other, we all have to have important conversations that have the potential to get ugly and uncomfortable. When in doubt, I say do your best to avoid the conflict.

I’m not talking about avoiding people in the hallways, refusing to answer the phone or saying “yes” to everyone – whether or not you mean it – so that you don’t have to say “no.”

There will always be disagreements and necessary discussions about difficult or unpleasant topics. But these conversations do not need to degenerate into round after round of browbeating to try to get your point across.

Ideally, the goal is to address the issue in a way that gets to the heart of the matter, and reaches a mutually agreeable resolution quickly and efficiently without raising voices or blood pressure. There is one intuitive – and yet commonly overlooked – key that can keep most disagreements in the realm of civil, productive discussion.

The key is consciously listening to understand. This is where most people fall woefully short in both their efforts and their outcomes. Listening to understand is critical to avoiding real argument for one crucial reason: most people continue to argue a point because they feel like they have not truly been heard or understood.

Most people think that they listen, but the short answer is that they don’t do it right. Let’s look at the difference and key strategies for listening in a way that gets to a peaceful, positive, and productive result.

 

Listening “wrong”

In disagreements, most people “listen” in order to find an opportunity to interrupt, contradict, or defend. This isn’t sincere listening; it’s more like scanning the horizon for the best time to retaliate.

When both parties are simultaneously focused proving why they are correct and the other is wrong, what they are both (rightfully) saying is, “You’re not listening to me!”

This quickly leads to an impasse with one of two outcomes: The first is that both sides leave feeling frustrated, with no resolution to the issue at hand. In the second, one side “wins” by forcing the other side to concede, i.e. lose. This leaves the winner with a bitter-sweet “victory,” and the loser feeling resentful, a combination that will have a variety of negative repercussions down the line in the form of morale, work quality, and office politics just to name a few.

The irony is that when people are able to voice their concerns, and truly feel like they have been heard and understood, they are often willing to accept “no” for an answer. So how does that work?

 

Listening “right”

When you listen to understand, you start by erasing any presuppositions and assumptions that you already know what they’re going to say and why. Instead, you enter the conversation from the perspective that there’s a missing piece, something you don’t yet know or understand about their position, priorities, interests or concerns. Be curious.

Invite the other person to share first. A good strategy is to take notes as you listen, which serves several purposes. First, you can record any key points so that you don’t forget them, which serves as a good future reference resource.

Second, you can jot down any questions or other thoughts you want to share. Don’t get me wrong – the idea is not to list all the points you disagree on just so you can launch into a point-counterpoint debate when it’s your turn to speak. That feels litigious, not collaborative or respectful.

Writing down your ideas as you listen has a variety of benefits. First and foremost, it keeps you from interrupting. When people aren’t interrupted, they feel more respected and less stressed or frustrated, which helps to keep the peace. But it also gives you a chance to reflect and organize your thoughts before you do finally speak, which can streamline the process, avoid clumsy and emotionally-charged knee-jerk responses, and help you prioritize issues to address.

 

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In part 2 we’ll address Talking from Listening: once you’ve heard them out, what do you say to keep things moving in the right direction?

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

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How to Avoid Conflict – Part 2

In my previous blog, we looked at the difference between “Listening Wrong” and “Listening Right” as a part of “Listening to Understand,” a fundamental principle in laying the ground work to have a potentially difficult conversation in a way that is constructive rather than combative.

Now, let’s look at strategies for when it’s your turn to talk, after you have successfully demonstrated listening to understand. 

Once the other person has finished sharing their perspective, don’t sabotage the exchange by launching into a “now it’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen” monologue. Remember that you entered the conversation with the initial goal of understanding their perspective. So the first step you need to take in line with this goal is to confirm your understanding.

A great segue can be as simple as, “Thanks for taking the time to explain that to me. I want to make sure I understand the key issues. Can I run through my main takeaways based on what I heard, and you can correct me if I’m off somehow?” Who would say no to such a request?

Once you have the go-ahead, start by paraphrasing your understanding of their key points. You should use simple, reporting language such as, “You said that your budget _____,” or “Did I understand correctly that in your department _____,” or “Your primary concern is that _____, right?” Whatever you do, do not comment on anything yet.

This step also serves multiple purposes with mutual benefits. From the other person’s side, they are happy to know that you are valuing their input enough to take time to ensure that you understood it. Plus, it is reassuring for them to have you confirm that whatever they said was received as it was intended. This builds trust and facilitates further discussion.

More importantly, paraphrasing this way ensures that you actually did understand all of their key points. Misunderstandings could be due to missing or improperly stated information in their initial explanation, or perhaps you were writing something down and didn’t catch something else they said at the time.

Regardless of the cause, once you have had a chance to confirm the facts, then everyone is satisfied that all key information is on the table, and, most importantly, they feel relieved to know that they have been heard and understood.

From there, you can transition into sharing your side of the story with something like, “Okay, well, let’s start with _____.” It’s important to keep your language objective, and if you feel like their view on something is incorrect, keep your explanation fact-based, calm and impersonal. There’s a big difference between saying, “There are a few details I don’t think your team is aware of,” and, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

If the other person does not play by the same rules and interrupts you when it’s your turn, you can explicitly draw their attention to the contrast and make a respectful request: “I’m sure you’ll have some comments and questions, which I welcome, but I listened to you without interrupting, and would appreciate the same courtesy in return.” You can offer them some paper to take notes on while they listen, for their own benefit, and ask them to paraphrase what they understood when you’re done, so they can follow your model more completely as well.

At best, once you have heard each other out, and truly sought to understand each other’s objectives and reasons, you can come to a solution that meets everyone’s needs. But at the very least, if the answer still has to be “no,” there is still potential for positive outcome.

At that point, “no” can sound more like, “I truly appreciate the fact that/your concern about ___. For now, we have to prioritize _____ because of _____, but I understand the impact that it will have on your situation, so…”

Even though the other person might not be happy with the immediate result, it’s much easier for them to accept the outcome because they understand why, and are emotionally satisfied that they have been respected as a person and a professional.

In the end, difficult topics are addressed productively without fighting and casualties of war, and respectful relationships are not only maintained but strengthened. You’re not avoiding the issue, you’re avoiding creating a mess.

More importantly, you’re leading by example, and fostering a healthy culture of open communication, transparency, and mutual respect.

That’s the difference between someone who has a leadership position, and someone who is a leader.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!